A Lot On Your Plate - S6 Ep5: 'It’s in my DNA' & other insane cheating excuses

Episode Date: May 27, 2025

This week, we're diving head first into the most insane cheating excuses we’ve ever heard. They’re truly unhinged guys 😂 From “I was going to Shagaluf” to “you had a baby and got boring,��� the stories our pod piggies sent in had us HOWLING!!Honestly…some of you need jail time. Remember you can sign up to Patreon for side dish episodes every week plus bonus vlog style content, competitions, group chat, early access to tickets and looooads more! See you there piggies 💖 https://patreon.com/ALotOnYourPlate Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Happy Tuesday, Pod Piggy Wiggies. Happy Tuesday to you, happy Tuesday to you. That's annoying. Happy Tuesday to the Podpiggies. Yes. Happy Tuesday to you. Hiya. Welcome back to the best podcast in the world.

If I was a lesson, I would have been off. You'd be like, pause, bye. Next. We hope you've all had a lovely, gorgeous week in the sunshine. It's been the most beautiful weather I think I've ever seen Scotland have. I think it's the hottest day we've ever had than yesterday. Did anybody else look at the weather app and see the continuous sun and had a little internal...

Of excitement. Norgasm. Go on, do the noise. No thanks. It was a really lovely week. It was glorious. So we're going to have our catch-up. over on Patreoni this week because we have lots of things we got up to.

I have my first child free night away in Liverpool. And I spent a night with Kylie Minogue. Yes. I'm spinning around, move out of my way. Did she sing that? Yeah. All of the classics. She sang a lot of bangers that I kind of forgot were her.

What's the other one she sings? You look on motion with me. Come on and swing your hips now. Was she very glitter? Yeah, there's a lot of sparkles and sequins going on. So gorgeous. The audience was fully it. We have a lot of things on our plate.

I've had in some gorgeous places. And can I just quickly talk about something that I'm seeing all over Tiki-Tock at the moment? Go for it. Type A and type B. Interesting. I am a severe type B. I don't even think you're type B. I think you're type C, hen.

I agree. I think you're off the chart. I think I'm D. I'm Z. I'm type B for sure and you're type A but you're definitely slipping into type B I think I'm type A trapped in a type B body

Yeah you want to be Like I'm choking to be type A But my body just keeps pulling me back And saying no no I'm just type B and I'm okay with it I'm so sound with it I don't want to be a type A girly No I know what you mean by that

I really don't It sounds boring I'm sorry It's like you're an 8 or 10 in clothes But I'm a 9 Yeah I'm an 11 Well, I was 11. I think I'm now 13. Amma, whatever, would be between A and B if there was something. Hmm. Do you know what that means, Murray?

Not a clue. Okay, right. Let's discuss. If you don't know what type A and type B means, it's basically personality traits. And just to cut it short and in simple terms, type A, you're organized, type B, you're chaos. Yeah. And that is basically what it is. Yeah. The perfect way you put it. Yeah.

Shall I maybe get the proper definition up? And then we can move on. As chat G. P.T. Do you know what's that, not B-T? I know. I do know that, but I still say chat G-B-T. Me too. I feel like this, when they read this definition out,

it makes type A sound extremely boring. But anyway, you know where I'm going with this. Type A individuals are often described as competitive, driven, ambitious and time-conscious. While type B individuals are generally more relaxed, easygoing and flexible. I don't even think I've got an answer type A in me, listen to that. No, I agree with you. I couldn't be more relaxed.

I'm fucking lying doing every day in my life. But on TikTok, I think the type A girl is all the ones that have their name appointments. Yeah, the clean girl aesthetic. Everything is just perfect. And type B is just me and you. Me and you now, admit it. What would you say you are, Marie? Neither of those two.

Okay. Interesting. I'm time conscious and I try to be organised, but. other than that, I don't think I have prescribed to type E. I think I've got the effort of type A but I don't quite meet, I don't quite meet the goal. Type B

people trigger you. Me. Right? Correct. Yeah. But maybe that's because you are that and you hate the fact that you are that. I do hate the fact that I'm bad with timekeeping because I hate it and other people. What I was saying in Richard actually

this morning is I'm an on-time person but is something goes wrong it makes me a few minutes late whereas you're a late person to begin with oh I am yeah so like you're aiming to be 10 minutes late but what I will say is since having Jensen I am now an on time person yeah you have to be

yeah I've not got enough time to be late anymore no but as Richard says early's on time on time is late correct that's bullshit it is isn't it shut up Richard I'm sorry you've got too much time in your hands if you're going early to everything what's the need to sit and wait I'm not waiting I hate waiting I'm patient

Anyway Anyway We do have something we need to discuss And tell everyone about Which is the book club on Patreon Yeah It's a new group chat Separate from the general chat

Where people are doing all their book recommendations People are going to follow And read the same book everyone And it's such a perfect name What's it called again? Books and Busy Did I name that? Yes, she did

Marketing Genius Did you put that in chat GPD I'm not saying anything. Give me names for a book club. By the way, Boxing Busy is perfect. I think that's so good. So does that mean that someone else has got a book club out there? Call that then if chat, GBT, have sort of that?

I don't know. But it's only without our Patreon, so it's fine. I didn't realise we could have additional chats on Patreon, by the way. I know that's really good actually. So you can basically do different chats for different, let's say we wanted to do like a dilemma chat or a lot on your plate chat. The general chat. I remember there's one called Booking Busy. which pop is popping off. I couldn't believe how many of you guys are loving it. So please don't go in there.

And if you are in T books, you can discuss other girlies. And then maybe at our future events, we may have a little something, something for that. Try and bring you all together. That's cute. Yeah. That's given mature adult. It is.

No, I know. I do read books. Which, can we say that in season one to maybe three, you hadn't read one? No, I know. So you've really turned a page. Oh, wow. New chapter.

What's our topic this week, Jess? So if you were on Patreon last week, you would have heard us say that what was the dialogue we were talking about, excuses of cheating. Whether to tell people you know their man's cheating on them or not, unless it's your direct friend. Do you do you not? And then it got us thinking. And it got us thinking, aside from a business plan that we had, which was going to going to be like a tell all sort of app but if you have ever given a really ridiculous excuse

when you've been cheated on so right when you've cheated on somebody yeah or what is a really ridiculous excuse that you've been given yeah or heard and you girls delivered it's amazing and i've really had to stop reading it because i want to i want to have want to hear them fresh should i say real reactions yes we've got some longer ones and we've got some short to one. So let's dive right in. I've got a voice note we can play. Oh my God, love a voice note. Zoe, Zoe, I have a funny story for the pod. I just saw your question box about excuses for cheating. My first ever boyfriend when I was young, I might have told you all this story. His name begins with Jay. He went out one night and cheated on me or did whatever and then didn't know about it.

But how I found out was the next day, he picked me up to go for lunch and he had a fat, fat, ph-80, fat love bite. on his neck that he hadn't realized was there. So I obviously was like, what the fuck is that on your neck? And he was flustered, frantic. Like, what are you talking about? There's nothing on my neck? Anyway, I was like, you've got a fucking love bite on your neck, bro. Who gave that to you?

And he was panicking so much. He was like, oh, one of the boys must have done it. One of the boys must have done it. Yeah, it was this guy. Named this guy. And I was like, your friend who's a boy gave you a love bite. He was like, yeah, yeah, I swear it was him. It was definitely him.

So I was like, if I ring this boy, he'll tell me he gave you a love bite, will he? Me being the psychopath that I am, oh one two one let's give this boy ring a ding ding rang him the boy with the love bite the boyfriend he's frantically texting i'm guessing he's texting his friend like if mollie brings you please tell her you gave me this love bite anyway friend answers the foe i say oh did you give so-and-so a love bite last night he says yes lies through his tea lies lies lies through his tea tells me he gave his friend a love bite this is how like so far the lie went and i believed it what sorry we're just all so stupid when we're in that young relationship aren't we i believed it and then a couple of days later

the girl's boyfriend actually deemed me like by the way your boyfriend got with my girlfriend on weekend. But he told me his friend gave you and I'm like, what? And she believed it. So it got us actually thinking as well because when last season it was the truthful story, the chorizo string, which they disguised as a tampon.

But have you ever cheated and gave her a ridiculous excuse or had one? I was trying to think of that. I don't think I have. I mean, I definitely mess around when I was younger. But I don't think I ever gave like a shit excuse. I'm trying to think I was definitely given a shit excuse but and I believed it but in the I think deep down I never never really did but I turned up to my ex's house one time and he came out to the taxi naked. Sorry? He ran out to the taxi to pay the

taxi for me naked and as I went into the house him and my friend were was also sat in her pants in the living room and I was like, what's going on here? Oh, we're just playing what's the game? Like strip poker or something? We're just playing strip poker. And I was like, let me join in. Just the two of them. Just the two of them. And I said, let me join in. Can I play please? Can I say please? Years later found out that they actually were shagging. Brilliant. I need you understand why he came out to the taxi. Like, could he not have just left?

You knew I was on the way there, by the way. Yes. I left the nightclub to go to his house and turned up and, yeah. Also, it takes 0.18 minutes to put something on. No, I didn't. Maybe that was why I believed it because I thought there's no way it would be that bait. Like, I wouldn't walk in to them being like. Yeah, like just making it that always.

And we were all really good friends, like a really good group of circle of friends. very strange but yeah awkward the love bite thing for me is like if you're going to do anything do not give someone a love bite or do not let someone give you a love bite

like how are you you can't get rid of it why would anybody want to lift butt I don't understand I think it feels quite nice sorry are you a vampire I just think it's quite a nice

sensation seriously you don't like getting your neck kissed. Oh I love having my neck kissed but not sucked. No but it's just more like a snog to your neck but obviously your neck's no got a tongue so it can't snog back. I don't understand how you'd get a love bite from that. You need a bit of pressure to get the blood to the surface. No I know but I think it's quite enjoying. I feel like people do it to mark their territory and it's like I shagged you and I'm going to make everybody know about it. Yeah I remember being

like at school and you know when you're in that constant house parties like era of your life and people always had love bites and I was like you think it's cool to have that on your neck of school the next day. It's like a sign like a trademark that I've been bonked. Like I would never allow it to happen because I don't want a love bite on my neck like I'm 28 years of age. But I do

I understand I think it's a nice feeling. There's got to be a kink. It's got to be a kink. People must love it. Go around just suck in everyone's neck. Okay. Right, let's read out this big one in the chat. I'm ready. I've not seen this. I once had a boyfriend who was the year

older than me in school. Once he finished school, he left and went to uni. As are we leaving present, I gave him some photos of us for his hall's room. All was good and happy. Or at least I thought, lull. And every other weekend, I would go down weekends to visit him. I started to get this feeling he was cheating on me because the way he was behaving and one of the times I was down I saw on his blackberry, lull again, a reminder to take photos outdraw on the day. No. Oh my God. I chinned him about it and obviously he denied it. His excuse was that he was throwing parties in his one-bed dorm room and because he didn't want people to mock him about the photos, I write. Safe to say my gut instinct was right the whole time and the cheating rumours were true. He didn't last much longer than that. Men are bastards. Lesson learned was to trust your gut instincts, always listen to your gut. Anyway, I hope you are both and gents. a good love you guys. That's shite, by the way.

No, I hated those days visiting my boyfriend in uni. It was just, it was just cheating central. I hated it. I just was awful feeling and I just definitely think it was up to no good all the time. I just think it's a given.

You're young, slung and hung. Young, slung and hon. Just having fun. Absolutely. But it was just the fear. It's the minded in the blackbody for me. I reckon, Because the photos are the giveaway, aren't they?

If you're going around someone's house, you're probably looking in that boy's bedroom and you're looking around the room to see if there's any photos or whatnot. I do think if you have any suspect that you're with a guy on a one-night stand or something and you like him,

check those bedside drawers. I think that. Yeah. I'd take a nosy anyway just because I'm nosy. Yeah. Get you go to the toilet to have a little peep. I want to know if you've got like old cans of juiceing that in there because I need to know these things with someone.

Ooh. Drinking water out like an iron brew can. I'd be ill. Oh, maybe imagine that I take a swing and it's pissed. No, thanks. Right. This is brilliant. So my ex told me he had to have sex in Shagalov.

He legit called it back to my face because how could he possibly have lasted two weeks without sex? No, I actually hate the meal species, I think. I appreciate the honesty. I know, honestly, Fairfax, she's on. You can't go more than two weeks. But you are a scumbaggot. Get in the bin.

Also, don't go on a holiday for two weeks in, but it's that important to you. Just have a wink. Good God. Had a friend who caught Chlamydia off of her boyfriend who was cheating. When she confronted him, he said, you can catch it from a toilet seat.

She believed him and stayed with him. Oh my God. Do you remember back in the day, though, when you used to get the fair, going in jacuzes because you'd think you'd get pregnant. The sperm was floating about. Yes. I had a friend of ones who had chlamydia in an eye.

Pardon? It doesn't need to be just down there, you know? The infection could come out in different places. In your eye? And it was like conjunctiveitis, but actually it was chlamydia. So she got pink eye? Pretty much. Does somebody do the business in the eyeball?

No. Or she like touched, touched? No, I think like she obviously had sexual intercourse, caught, the disease and then the infection for her just happened to come out in her eye. Right. And she went thinking she had an eye infection to the doctor and it was chlamydia. From the guy she was with, by the way, it was boyfriend. I need to know as well, because this will have happened so many times.

If you have caught an STI and you obviously, that's a really big strong way to be caught because you can't then get rid of it yourself and then continue to have sex with your partner because you're just going to get it back. And also it's cool. You have to be honest with your partner. Yeah. How many people do you reckon get the pills and drug their own partner? What?

I've had it many times. Sorry, what? Yeah. Because they don't want to be up front with them, but they also don't want their partner to have the STI. So they're not going to tell them why they've got one. Well, where do you got that from? Like a pill in their drink or something?

Yeah, in like a smoothie. It looks like I'm saying like I've done it, but I know someone really close to me that. Not quite knowledgeable on this. What the flying fuck? I could never do that. Don't recommend, guys. My guilty conscience would...

But equally, obviously, I mean, it is illegal and you are kind of doing them a favour, if you like, but you're also not? It's like, I'm going to clear you of your infection, but it's only because I don't want you to know what shacks somebody else. You're going to leave me. Fuck me, that selfish, self-centred people out there. A double dunt of shite.

Someone said that an excuse to them was, I thought it was you. What do you mean on two bits? They said they were drunk and I thought it was you. Hope she was hot. That's unacceptable. That is quite frankly unacceptable. This one's brilliant. Because your mum's annoying.

It used on me to see how he really felt about me. That's a classic. That's giving Love Island when they have to say they have to test their relationship before they can make it official. Found a condom in my... What? Oh, I think she's saying Brian.

You know how a girl's bathroom called? Guy's Brian. But it says brain. Right. I'm a condom in my brain. I'm done. You need to keep that in That's funny

No Found a condom And my boyfriend at the Times Wall After he'd been to a festival He said they were giving them out On the bus And he took one in case his friends Needed it, sure you did

What? People don't just fucking fling them Well, they actually probably do it They probably do to be fair That may have been half true But he probably had the intention Of using it just in case We're not taking it

No If you don't need to use it Oh my God. So the worst excuse I had was I need to focus on my kids and then proceeds to cheat and now doesn't even see his kids. Bye!

Fuck off. Oh, these are fucking funny. You're a nurse and workloads of nights. What am I supposed to do? Shit. Sorry, I'm just out here shaving the fucking world in life's. and you're annoyed about it

so you're shagging some dales I need to understand they have time to think of a better excuse than that you're a nurse what else am I meant to do what do you mean

go out with somebody else that works a different shift pattern I know shut the fuck up this is on the same sort of lines as that one I was told I'm a man I have needs

I'm not sure what you expected honestly bad fox No, I'm gobsmacked. We have needs to. I'm gobsmacked. The misogyny, honestly. My friend's husband had to sleep with the other girl

to see if he still loved his wife. Fuck off. He did what, sorry? Had to sleep with another girl to make sure he still loved his wife. Sorry, I'm a little bit, I'm baffled by these. Maria, I hate you. No.

No, no, no, no, no, no. This is the worst one. Go! An ex said it was in. his DNA because his dad cheated on his mum. Sorry, shut up. I know I'm sitting on a podcast and the point is to discuss things, right?

But I actually have no words for these. No, we need to discuss that further. So my mum and dad have split up means that I need to split up with every single person that I go with. Words fail me. Men, you fail me. This one's horrendous. Do you know what's actually failing me, though?

It's not the fact that I'm not saying that women don't cheat. It's the excuses they're so bad. They're so dumb. Yeah, there's no brain cells put together. I feel like if we cheated would at least come up with a pretty... I also just think you do it, you need to own it, and apologize and deal with the consequences. You don't talk shite. That's just life.

And then, like, everyone's just like laying on their issue onto the woman. This is because of you. Yeah, it's projection. It's giving narcissist. I think, oh, man. Who? All men. He sound brilliant.

Brilliant. Go. Her dad had... No. No. Say it. Say it. Suzanne, close your ears.

No. It's the C word as in cancer. Oh. You thought I meant cunt. I thought you meant cunt. I'm sorry. Her dad had cancer and she needed a shoulder to cry on. An addict to fall on.

An addictive fall on, shut up, Murray! That's the second thing I'm over here. That is disgusting. This wasn't me, but it still makes me low. My stepbrother got caught by a pub camera coming out of the kitchen and a pub with a girl. And when his girlfriend asked why he was in the kitchen with her, he said he was doing the dishes that were left over.

Obviously she didn't... Obviously you didn't believe it but he was sticking to that story hard It's like it was doing the fucking dishes In the first place Oh no In a pub Oh

I quite like that one He didn't sign up to Tinder The activation code he received by text Must have just been for a friend Sure Sure thing, hon Oh my God This is a great one, quote on quote.

And she just started having sex with me. Your dick just miraculously went hard, did it? I just wasn't thinking about you in the moment. What the fuck? I was his girlfriend for over a year. He cheated multiple times at this point without me knowing and then proposed in his Corsa. And I said no and fled the scene.

Left all my stuff at his place and never saw him again. got messaged and called by his mum who was claiming I was a horrible person and ungrateful laughing so hard shut up that's given boy mom if you propose to me in your course I'm saying no yeah bye told me he was mess with another girl on Snapchat

because she wanted to know where he got his Chinese from they were in a relationship a matter of months later there's plenty of Chinese take who he's kicking about like you don't need specific ones you know what I mean this is good Skiving me. I had a baby and became boring.

Honestly, see if I was in your possession and... Let me think of the way to say this. But that's what he said to her. No, I know. And then I think she bought something like, oh, they, she's mentioned again after saying, his baby, FYI. I'm keeping your baby alive and I'm boring.

Go on safe. I was honestly safe. Go fucking. do it if it means you stop asking me on you go. Honestly I couldn't agree more. Like go getting to somebody else and get off my back. Do you reckon you know how you hear of these stories right when women are getting

older? You do hear of it where they sort of give permission to their man they sort of turn a blind eye. Guys want a younger girl? And the husband is not necessarily younger but the husband is still getting his end away because she can no longer be fucked. She's done with it. She's like bye and I know we're all about keeping the spark alive in a relationship and I

know it's not healthy to be that way but But I actually can understand probably why some women do it because they probably don't want to just have sex or keep up with their man's needs when they're 60-70. They've got a big family unit, they've got everything that they could possibly want, but that's just something that just can't be asked with anymore. I think Fear Fats.

Do you think they get to a point where they're just like, you know what, if that's what you need, go and get it elsewhere, but don't come and ask me for it. I think it would need to be you either get it, elsewhere full stop we never do it again yeah yeah or you just accept

that I'm not doing it very often yeah but I think at that age like you're doing it that often anyway I don't know I'd love to know that you know I would love to know everybody want to ask your mum da how much is shagging

I don't think a lot no surely not old folk swams are known for being full of SDIs I'm sorry apparently fair fucks I like that Go and I'm actually being quite on horny in your old way

Go and get a lot of shag before you're dead Yeah Wouldn't you go? Put work in there though That'd be a nightmare He felt I was too good for him So had to cheat to make himself feel better Seriously

But he was Sorry she felt he was too good for him He felt that she was too good for him So he had to cheat to make himself feel better So I'm guessing then you went and got with someone That's technically better than your girlfriend then Obviously not like how would that even make any sense

she's diabetic like me so we just related to one another oh my goodness christ you were going to leave me anyway oh that's a classic that's a classic you're too nice yeah another classic drunk and the reason it happened so many times is due to the alcohol problem

in brackets but not the him problem Oh, of course not. Why would it be answered with him? No self-control. Listen, there's no denying it that alcohol absolutely makes people do silly things. Of course. I do think you should still be fully aware of crossing that line. Absolutely. I don't think there's anything wrong with a good old flirt. I'll be the first to say it. But no further. Thoughts?

Absolutely, why not? I haven't cheated, but you have evidence of him hanging out for the back of an old goat. A what, sonny? An old goat. That's another thing. Imagine actually being said cold, hard proof, and then still denying it. Do you want me to tell you what I would do in that situation?

AI? No, I'd print it out and I'd stick it all over the flat. I'd get my things and I'd leave now and I'd never speak to me again. Right, I want to know, right? How many girls is listening to this? Oh, guys, if you were told information, I think we may have discussed this very early on, season one and two. And I think we're quite different here.

Maybe in my older age, I've probably matured slightly and would deal with it a bit differently. But if I got told my partner was cheating on me and I had the proof, would you wait for them to come home and discuss it with them? Tell them, you know, you've been caught right-handed. Would you leave there and then? and never speak to them again,

or would you text them or phone them a hell of abuse to give them time to think of an excuse or whatnot? Like, what would you do? I'm talking if you had the proof, what would you do? I would do what I just said. You print it off and leave and never speak again. What more questions have you got when you can see it? Yeah.

I think it's maybe different if you've been told something. Because it's kind of like you want to find out more about it potentially. even know if I would wait around for the answer to that either because I'm like you've done it, I'm off. But if you had something, I would do it so they walked back to like the realisation that you now know you've found out and you're already away. Perfect.

What is it to talk about? Nothing. I just think people would probably want answers. They would maybe want to know a reason why. But people want to know reasons so that it helps them but you don't need to know anything other than... Or see them beg? You don't need anything other than that. What they've done is enough. Yeah. Get out of there.

I think for me I would... the old me wouldn't have been able to have waited and probably would have phoned or texts. But the me now would probably, well, I wouldn't be able to leave and never speak again because I've got a child. But I would like to do that. Yeah.

I also think it would just help you. Like see their reactions to, if you were then to have them come home or whatever and you had the conversation about it, the reactions and the excuses and the next. would just piss me off even more. Yeah. But nothing can make it better.

Because I reckon what they would do in that situation was eventually it would be like all these excuses where it's like, yeah, but you made me do this. Exactly. I did this because I don't feel like you love me anymore or we've grown apart. Exactly. She was diabetic.

Her mom annoyed me. No, your mom annoys me. She works in eight shifts. So what do you expect? Oh, fuck off. I was told I didn't do the dishes enough we have a dishwasher honestly that could be me

that could be me and rich why is that getting to do with cheating I don't understand it's his excuse isn't it it's a terrible excuse as to why he did what he did I haven't paid her for the protein prouder she got me so she's making up a lie

that I slept with her that's another thing being told that your partner's cheated and then them saying that the girl is lying and she's a psycho I bet you so many girls believe that still because they don't have anything they don't know this or the person

I think if any guys are saying that like all of their exes were psychos and I quite like that about women I'm like it's given that you're the problem yeah I do always think that I think if you're with someone right and they are always slagging their ex

and saying that she's an absolute nutter unless you have cold hard proof that she is I would take that with a pinch of salt Me too. Honestly, I really would. Someone said, was telling me about what his ex did to him, but it was actually what he was doing to me. What do you mean?

So he's been telling his new missies that his ex did like all this stuff to him, cheated on him, how he'd done it, blah, blah, blah, I'm imagining. But actually that's what he was doing to her. I wonder how that came out. Tell us more. Did the girl message you and say, what would you do if I get a question said

I'm really sorry to tell you this but I've been sleeping with Richard send me proof for a start Would you ask her to send you the proof or would you ask him first Oh right Yeah that's a good one I would do all my homework in silence How would you get proof of that though I would ask the person

Oh you so you would ask her first yeah I think because naturally you're going to go to the guy and nine out of ten times in that situation are going to say so I I don't know though because they would know that she's got proof so I don't know because if he knows that she's messaged you

he could then I suppose go to the girl and be like what are you doing yeah I love you I'll leave her for you and then she'd be like oh I take it all back I don't know him at all I don't know I really don't know what I would do I'll be honest if I was put in that situation. I think my heart and from my ass off.

To be quite honest. I would not be shy of cutting a guy's dick off. He did that too. I would love to do that. Big mass of bread knife. Yeah. Chop. Good luck with that in the future.

That's a very difficult one's actually. I think I would like to message them back. But what I love what some women do is they stay silent and they stay with someone. for a good week or two afterwards and really assess the situation and look and observe a bit more because if it's really not been on your radar for so long,

you're probably not really looking at the obvious signs that are in your face. Like with them, like their phone or whatever, I think you could be, you could, if you're aware of something, it then becomes quite obvious. Yeah, and what you mean? And then you could catch them out red-handed there and there.

Without having really been a other person at it. Yeah. You could, if they say they're going somewhere, you could follow them. You could put an air tag in their car. Oh my gods By the way You know if you do that

Don't you get notifications on your phone That there's an air tag following you Because my sister My little sister They probably do by the way Because people would just do that to fork all the time Yeah I think they do Because my stepmom put one in my sister's bag

She knew about it Right So she could track her Because she got the train up here on her own And all the time she was with me I kept getting a notification on my phone Saying somebody around you has an air tag And I thought

That Because my air tag in my makeup back, I thought somebody had, it was, I'd lost it. Prioris. Yeah, I know, lol. But the makeup bag is usually in my big suitcase when I got on holiday, that's why. So, yeah. So I bet you, I wonder if anyone's ever put a tracker in someone's car and been caught.

I've heard of that before. An old friend of mine did it to his ex-girlfriend. He bugged her car and then listened to a loud speaker who's speaking to another guy and then caught a red-handed. No. Yeah. I think I would definitely be like a silent doing my homework kind of person. And if I got the proof

I would instantly go but if it was like someone told me about it I would do what you said I think I would assess the situation in silence but I would be the 10 out of 10 girlfriend for that week

You'd be sickly over the top Yeah like I would be twisted as fuck Yeah I like that Zoe And I'd make digs and all that I mean I'm cheek as fucking an argument anyway You are I really think this

will open a conversation for anyone listening to send us in more We need more more more saying this in-depth, long, toxic, twisted things that you have done. I know a story about a couple who'd got recently married. They were just in bed as normal at night and he was feeling suspicious and looked through her phone.

And he stayed up all night reading every single message between the two of them. She was meshing the other guy on her wedding day, said, I shouldn't be going through with us. Like, I love you, I want to be with you, blah, blah, blah. Right. Dad paid for the whole wedding, of course. typical situation she then got up that morning

he got up as normal made her breakfast took her breakfast to bed like basically what I'm saying I would do and then she went to work her shift and she came home and he'd written her a massive letter laid it on the middle of the floor

wedding pictures on it wedding rings on it and was gone oh that's a shame for him that's terrible isn't she end up with that man yeah she did I'm not condone and cheating right at all but the only time

I know what you're going to say you might as well make it worth it yeah at least if you end up the person it's worth it for you that you fucked up for at least a reason yeah I mean it doesn't help the other person you still should never have done it

yeah there is no denying that there are times where you are with someone else and you met someone else that sweeps you off your feet and that will probably be a slight crossover I mean technically people would say there's a crossover over if you've done something or not anyway. Yeah, because if you've got someone else in mind, people would class that's cheating.

Do you know what else you said to me? Zori texted me yesterday saying, another really good topic that we can talk just off the back of this is the pettiest thing that you've done. I could carry the whole episode of my own. Between me and Jason Natchel, we'll get him on. It's the pettiest thing that you've done with an ex or with your partner,

but I've got a really good one. Or even just in life, do you know what? In life, like maybe like any relationship you've got. Yeah. Or if you've heard someone's doing something, on what you're done I'll tell you this one right you can start off

so a friend of mine I may have said this very early on the seasons but let's refresh it's just fucking too good to not say again she found out that her partner was cheating on her

and they had a house together and he stayed in the house and as she left she put tinned sardines hidden in the curtain poles in every single window of that I think that's iconic

the new girl that was cheated on he got with her stay with her moved in months past they could not for the life of them

understand why the house smelt rotten it was only when they did some deep diving investigating that they found

these rotten so they did find them yeah of course because it was that bad Zoe no I would have moved out that's a great tip guys stay toxic

that is a great tip or like shite in a bag and put it in your exes boot or something brilliant I'm all four stuff like that I think in a relationship don't play games but I think we'll see you once you're out

and they fucked you over we're playing games Yeah and she was fucked over by the way I'm egging your windows and all that I don't give a fuck I'm brushing your tyres but then would you say that that is just like a bit petty and you would just move on and just get over it and that would hurt them more

because I think silence is deafening no I think so too but I think wee things like egg in your windows is obvious but wee things like that even though it's not a wee thing they didn't know what that was for months that's perfect

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because to him, he probably, she still was silent. He didn't know it was her. Yeah. I like that. Right, let's move on to Patreon Neoni. We're a little catch-up and all the things we got up to. But there's one more thing that we should definitely say

because you were inundated with messages about your lip dilemma of your dry lips. Oh, so was. I don't dry anymore, by the way. Amazing, that's great to hear. But all the girlies came through. and pretty much every single one said nipple cream the purple lannison nipple cream

you said you've got some I've got loads by the way which can I just say I never had to use that because those silver aluminium nipple cups saved my nips from falling off I never had to use nipple cream you know a lot about exact nipples as well I'm surprised you were okay that's good

I never had any issues and I do genuinely think it was because it's like a natural it's like a natural healing thing these aluminium things apparently and yeah but the nipple cream I took it in my hospital bag because it said

the gas and air makes lips really dry that's why I took that but I've got loads and I might keep a tube myself because I've got really dry lips I don't know if anyone can tell me if that's a breastfeeding thing but I've never had dry lips in my life

and they are so sore especially at the bottom of here anyway the one other thing quite a few people mentioned about was mal and goats oh did they yeah that one you got me

yeah that's quite good actually I wouldn't use that. It's lovely that, isn't it? I think they just come and go, but see when you can and get in that, it's when it annoys you. Yeah. The most. All right, well, I hope you all enjoyed that, and I hope we've not encouraged anyone to cheat. I hope we've done the opposite.

Just all a bit of fun. But, yeah, please send them all in. All about a bit of fun, that your relationships felt, shit, I'm really sorry about that. I bet the last part of the episode more than that. The toxic stories. That's fun. That's funny as fuck. Before we go,

the newsletter will be out this week. our first monthly newsletters coming on Friday. Friday the 30th. Gorgeous. We don't know how we're getting it to you just yet, but it will be with you. And if we don't see you in Patreon, we'll see you next Tuesday. Goodbye.

Bye guys!