A Lot On Your Plate - Side Dish: When the past comes back to haunt you…

Episode Date: September 29, 2023

This week on Side Dish we discuss what’s been a lot on your plate with some juicy dilemmas and dive deep into the recent news on vapes! Enjoy🐷 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Happy Friday! We hope you had a wonderful and amazing week. You're ready to fuck shit up this weekend? Oh yeah. We are back with another bonus side dish episode where we're going to talk about what's been a lot on your plate and then we're going to talk a little bit

about some stuff that we've read in the news this week. Who don't do that often, to be fair, but there's been a lot going on. I don't listen or read the news very often. I don't. It should just be like neggy news because all it does is make you feel like shit. And a lot of it is all just completely over the top. However, TikTok, Instagram streams the stuff and it's unavoidable half the time. I know, and I just think people might think it's an ignorant thing,

but seeing it on social media platforms is just the way I digest it better. Oh, one million percent. Daily Mail is actually the most toxic, awful. I remember when Daily Mail used to be seen, not maybe in the same category as Telegraph, but when I was young, Daily Mail was the paper that everyone bought. It was just the news to me. The sun was like trash, but now the sun is really, really trash. And Daily Mail online has now become the source of just bashing women, bashing every single thing online.

Reality stars. Yeah, making... and everyone feel like crap. So, not a big fan. However, what do you want to start with? Let's start with what's been a lot in a couple of our list of play. Okay, let's do that.

Okay. So this person is looking for advice. Persona. Changed my career a few years ago. I love my job and the staff. However, a new staff member is starting and it's someone I know from the past. Ooh.

Long. story short I had to cut them from my life due to them not being a nice person and having a negative impact on my life. It took me a while to pluck up the courage to do this as I had been friends, quotation marks around friends by the way, with them for a very long time in brackets too long. So now I'm in this predicament where I'm going to have to work with this person and it's a position I really do not want to be in as it took me a long time to remove this person from my life in the first place. I can 100% be a professional at work and I've started to look for a new job now is this how strong I feel about being around this person as my well-being is 100% my

priority but I do love where I work would love your thoughts and love the pod well there's a couple things here how long ago would this have been so has this person grown up and changes the person you know people can be bad and they can be they can be different yeah like are we looking at almost like teenage early 20s to maybe late 20s early 30s exactly there's a big difference and the workplace environment is it a really small place or is it big enough where you can avoid them and you may just cross them in the corridor or the staff room yeah so let's just pretend it's let's say it's the size of what office shall we say 100 people yeah and also i guess it depends on if they're coming into your team that would be awful for you so what how i would see it as it sounds

to me that this person did you wrong and you kind of fear them in some sort of way because if it was the way around this other person are they aware that you work at this place for a start maybe they feel the same way maybe they're a bit nervous to start as well

and maybe they'll reach out to you or meet you in the staff room and you can know bygones be bygones and you can just move on from this and be professional maybe your job like you say you love it don't really think it's worth you leaving just for this person

when you've been there the longest like you were there first I know that let's get paid here but I also do think why are you this person's already affected your life right you've like felt shit about however they've made you feel

they've not been nice to blah blah why I just don't think you should then have to lose out on something because of them again yeah do you know what I mean? Why are you letting them affect your life yet again and I understand like some people

you just do not want to be around you. You would rather literally miss out on the best night of your life if that person's going to be there. I get that. But I think it's worth a shot to see how it goes. Oh, 100%. Even if it's your team, you've got your reputation there that if you love it, I'm assuming your work love you too

because you don't love a job. Yeah. If they're not loving you working there because you get the vibes. I wonder if there's someone that you could speak to as well. Like maybe your boss or HR. and just say not being like a big snitch like oh I hate this person from whatever

but just raise your concerns that there's somebody joining the business that you really have a pass with and you don't want it to affect your work but you just want people to be aware of it in case you seem different or I don't know because if you say she's already applying for another job it must be pretty serious

for them to not want to be there and I think if it's not if you work in a business where there's loads of different teams like let's use a call centre for an example you're in teams but it's nothing to do with your job role there's just teams for all job roles if you get me like it's to do with your shifts or whatever if it's like that and there's just a way that

regardless of anything you can just never be in your team then definitely voice it because then how often you actually cross past yeah exactly but if it's like your immediate team and you just know it's going to make you miserable then if it's the industry you've now got a job in that you love, then yeah, find another one.

Yeah. And I do think it's really, you know, I appreciate what she's saying in the sense of she's putting her mental health and her priority. She's putting herself first because she knows she can't go through this again. It must have been pretty bad. But to wrap up, we think that you shouldn't give in the giving just yet. You were there first. You like your job. Don't let this person make you feel like shit again. Like you wouldn't be questioned leaving there if this wasn't happening. So you shouldn't be the one to have to leave.

Right now, give it a chance. And also, playing devil's advocate here, this other person, if they are aware of what's gone on, which I'm sure they are, they may be different. They may have changed, they may come up to you, apologize, and they may say to you, actually, I was a dick in the past, and I want to make this work, I want to work here, and I'm not necessarily need to be friends, but let's be civil,

and I won't get in your way and you won't get in mine. Absolutely. We've also got a bit of a tricky one here, right, because someone has wrote in to say that their boyfriend's been on holiday and it's given them a lot of thinking time and they've got a scrambled brain. Who? Sorry, the boyfriend or the girl

while she's been away? While he's been away. For example, you, right? Your boyfriend's away and in that time she's been thinking a lot. The mind is going. Oh, what? Like she doesn't trust him? It's here. We've not got the details.

She just says, She's got a scrambled brain. Oh, we need more context in that? No, I know, but initial thoughts for me as distance makes the heart grow fonder. It definitely does in my case this week. And her heart has not grown fonder. Or she could be scrambled because she's wondering what he's up to because she doesn't trust him.

Which I'm sorry to be this person, but both are negative. Both are negative, yeah. Hmm. I mean, with the small information we have, there's not much advice we can give but I do think when your mind goes to these places I just feel once it's been there it's not coming back you say that

there has been times where people can work through things a lot of times actually but I think she should wait let him come home she might see him and be like wow he's got a sexy tan and he's like and they may you know she might feel different but maybe the house is really spotless and she's loving her own space

which could be an indication of maybe they're spending too much time together so when he comes back she needs to make more time for herself if this is what she's saying if it's the other scenario where she's scrambled because she doesn't trust what he's up to then you've got some things to work on with each other you should have 100% trust in your relationship

there's also a little sprinkle of jealousy is sometimes good but you shouldn't be sitting at home worrying what your man's up to and if you are then he is not the one couldn't have said it better myself, Jess, to be honest Dee-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-st stay toxic someone messages something the other day and I replied to him to stay toxic

and I just thought I'm what's wrong with the world You are See you on a TV show, reality show fiction, non-fiction, anything The Bad Boy, the Toxic One The Bad Boy, it was about actually It's the Maritime Pretty

Everyone likes the bad boy, I'm sorry I'm sorry they do Bad boy, though. He's just not sickly OTT, like, what if he was called Jemaya or whatever, what's he called, what's he called, Jeremiah? I loved Connie Kahn. Do you know what is really hilarious to me

and you will find this funny as well when I say it? I thought with Jason, that that was me giving it in the nice, the nice boy. Boy, was that wrong? Yeah, he's feisty. I'm really true. Like, see, for the first meet while,

I was saying to people, you know what, I'm the prime example here that one day the nice guy always wins. And the nice guy wins. Fuck, where was I pulling that from? Yeah, I do agree with you actually because Richard's the same. He's such a nice guy and so many things are nice by him,

but boy, oh boy, if he is, he puts me in my place. Or I've seen it. I've witnessed that. I will never ever agree. Never. Never. Allow him to know he's wrong. Never.

But, yeah, he can put up a good fight with me. And I'm, you know, it's tough. I agree with you. I feel the exact same. Who wears the trousers in your relationship, G-Dog? It's J-N-O-Wise. Depends where we are. Depends if you can get your angry voice on or not.

How about if it's to do with the gym? Jen is a boss. Really? And at home, I think she's the boss too. Yeah. So you don't, so basically she does wear the trousers, not you. we've got that answer yeah we've got that answer that was easy

I just think even at the times where the boy thinks to do right we say boy like we're adults men men which is worse you just don't know like whatever you're saying even if I eventually go right fine I'm sorry whatever I don't actually believe that you're right

and I never will my apologies are empty yeah you are bad like that those are we apologies aren't empty yeah she is bad like that well I would never give you an empty apology no I mean

oh of course not no but every other apologies I'm talking about like to Jason but I am always like you're quite wholehearted in that way yeah with our situations like I am just right yeah I will agree you are quite diplomatic in that way where you

there's a right or wrong with me but I'm the opposite where sometimes I can say things that I really actually don't mean I mean I've been there a couple of times which hasn't been an empty apology Yeah. Like, don't get me wrong. The thing is, see if I actually need to say sorry,

you will get a heartfelt apology. But see, sometimes it's like, if you say sorry, we can just put this by as I'm like, sorry. Do you know what? It really reminds me when people... And I'm still annoyed because you're wrong. Scottish people say sorry. It reminds me of that TikTok.

I'm really, really sorry, Nikki. What does she do again in that video? Does she kill a cat or something? In them, Nicole? Oh, but I feel like I'm pretty. And she's like, say sorry. And she goes, I'm really, really sorry, Nikki. And she just pisses herself.

It is something to do with cats or dogs. There's been a cat's shit in her garden or something. I can't remember. Oh, it's something like Judge Rinder. What a classic. Anyway, speaking of, let's chat a bit about the news. Yes. So this week, there's been a couple of ban things.

There's been ban on disposable vapes. And has that happened yet? No. So I was trying to read this actually before we started the podcast. so I could actually understand funny what is going on. And also I want to know how you feel about this. Well, I have said this a few times, but I'm actually going off vapes a little bit.

Still want to have a little few puffy puffs when I've had a few drinks. But hand on hot actually, I've now don't even like it. I used to quite like the taste of it, because I would smoke like a fag back in the day, like a menthol fag. But then when they banned them,

I know you can get them in some different ways now. there's ways you can make a fagamenthal or you can buy them, bring them back. But it genuinely did make me stop social smoking. I didn't have a cigarette. I still haven't had a cigarette for years and I actually hate them. This smell knocks me sick.

But then vaping came in and I've got a few friends now. Well, we've got a few friends that never even social smoke before but now are addicted to vaping. Yeah. My sister, she vapes. I think she does buy the 0%

one but it's still not you're basically inhaling a liquid battery it can't be good for you um i was ill a lot wasn't i um earlier this well whenever it was i was ill all the time and i do think that was a knock on effect of covid and just my immune system whatever but also never ever felt good after a night of drinking and vaping my voice went i felt like i was really like when i'd cough i could it sort of sounded like bubbles there was an issue that there. There was definitely an infection of something. Popcorn lung. And I don't even vape that much, but there's people that actually

have it attached to their hand. Yeah, like, we're still talking social for you. Yeah, I would never smoke it sober. E! One puff of that and it would give me ripping anxiety. Which you also hear people say from, I'm assuming it's the nicotine, yeah. And also, I think what

tipped you over the edge was when it made... Oh my God, so we were in Ibiza and I left, I got a cheap, vape and I left it on the side and then as I took it was like 30 fucking 2 degrees left it in the sun and then I took a puff and the whole liquidness

went into my mouth it was awful I mean your tongue was burnt you were like my tongue's burnt I basically drank the liquid that's inside it hot I'm dying slowly I think at this point we're lucky to have you here

I know so that really put me off what is so funny for me is I'm very like... Can we just say this is only disposable vapes that are being banned? It's not the vapes to actually have... Everyone will just be getting one that charges. Well yeah exactly. And you put the thing in it.

And also... But a lot of the kids might not because one, you might not be able to buy them underage or anything and two... True. Where you're charged in it without your mossy in it. True. I mean, I'm sure you could find somewhere, you know what I mean? Do you know what I'm concerned about... Well, I'm not concerned, I don't care. But all these shops that have, that are solely vape shops

what are you going to do do do your business is fucked they'll find some but well they will of course they will but also do do you want to hear a conspiracy theory about vapes yes of course we do about this a lot of day was that let's just say china or where most of them come from or that side of the world is where the majority of the world's lithium stores are so they make lithium iron batteries and that's what's in disposable vapes but it's rare in the western world So as the Western world's like falling out with China and all that, they were allowing vapes to happen, even though they were really bad for your health.

Because every disposable vape that comes from China over here has got a tiny little bit of lithium in it. So they're basically killing us? No, they're trying to collect the lithium because it's valuable. So what's in the batteries of them is lithium and that's what they want. So they were letting vapes happen to allow all the lithium to flood into this country. Right. And now they've got them all here.

They can take it out because lithium never dies. So even your vapes dead. you can take a lithium out of it. Oh. So they were basically getting it all from China, because China won't sell it to the UK if they fall out. Right. I thought you were going to say that China hates us,

so what they're going to do is they're going to be like, let's kill all these fuckers. I mean, there's that too. It's just as high a chance, I don't see. I just honestly I'm so proud of myself for not getting involved. You've had a few puffs here and there, but you've never liked it, have you? Of course, like, but I've never had a vape. Have you ever smoked, Jay?

Vapes? I've tried them. Have you? Have you? Shisha, I bet you smoked a lot of that in Qatar. I've tried that now. Because that's the same thing, no? No, I fan, that's like smoking 60 cigarettes at one day.

Yeah, I know. That either won't ban Shisha. No. Like, I have had the odd, like, we're talking, like, probably three puffs out of one out of 20 nights out. Like, there's an odd time I'm just steaming, like, fucking easy a bit. But I've never had a vape, like, that's mine. No. Or really, like, an Ibiza walk, probably touched it twice if you even.

Yeah, you didn't. I just think so you see something like seeing you talk about the ick I don't even use that word that doesn't even come into my vocabulary but that gives you the egg and just especially in the morning

it's cringy when I see people like holding a big fat bit of plastic and just sucking it I know what when I do smoke one I actually think I'd probably look far better with just a thin little vogue fag

puffing one like I might as well just have a fag because it's far classier now than a big vague maybe I'll go on to them just the only thing that was like I ever thought wish I was into that

because you just get a prop I like holding a prop and it's just a prop for people but the worrying thing is what as I was saying it was the fact that there's so many people now that are addicted to vaping or love a vap that never ever

touched a fag which would still never touch a fag that's the key thing here if you would never actually smoke why smoke that and kids in the kids part is worrying so yeah I don't think

it will change it. I think there'll be ways around it like everything in the world, but they just need to be seen to be doing something, don't they? Because I think in a few years' time when people start actually seeing evidence of what's actually doing to your body. And I think there has been a few things. There's been a few young kids in the hospital because it's... Popcorn on. Mm-hmm. Ugh. So yeah, I'm going to quit. She says. Anyway next. The problem is that nicotine's a powerful drug. Yeah.

Actually, like nicotine is quite similar to caffeine. It's just far more addictive. but see if there was a way, and there is ways, I know people who do this, but there's ways to actually get nicotine without having to smoke or vape or whatever. People use it as a stimulant, like you're up in the morning and take nicotine because it helps them study or focus or write books and all that.

Like it's not, nicotine's not terrible. It's very highly addictive. It's just that the delivery of nicotine is through something that's bad but it's a cigarette or vap or whatever. Yeah. It's just similar to caffeine. Do you know what I want to start drinking actually? I want to start drinking trip. You know the canned trip, the CBD, you know what?

Oh. Yeah. I think we've had it before, or not. Maybe, not sure. I'm not sure. Yeah, I've definitely had a few cans before, but I've been reading about it, and people that are, that do drink it, it's meant to be really good to obviously help you focus,

keep you sort of calm, but it's just CBD, basically, which is weed without the, what is it called? THC. THC, yeah. A bit that makes you have. But yeah, I think that's meant to be really good for so many things, actually. And not addictive, but like drinking coffee and stuff,

can't be good for you. I drink, sometimes, some days I drink, loads of coffee. Not a coffee drink, but only because it gives me heart palpitations instantly. Yeah, see, someone like that, you should never drink it. I can't handle it, honestly. I wonder if I've got a weak heart. Good Lord.

Maybe that's why I don't feel a lot of things. There's only so much room, it's small. And mine's just so big. It's full. I can't do it anymore. Okay. Anyway, another week done and dusted, ticked off the list. so we can enjoy her weekend

and we'll see you next week when it's a new week, new goals, new motivation Yeah, go smash it sisters You tell her I went to the gym this morning I know she's a new woman today Isn't she Jane? I know

She's crazy She goes to do more Energized Yeah Enogized, positive I've really I've really led you to this this past two episodes

and I'm so here for it Zoe Right well I'll keep up I'll keep up the good to that Good I'll see you in Tuesday See you Tuesday Bye

Bye!