A Lot On Your Plate - Top 5 Horror Stories, Spice Boys & Navigating Heartbreak

Episode Date: May 26, 2026

Hey piggies 🐷💖 This week we’re catching up after Jess’ holidays, from a girly trip to Barcelona to her first-ever all-inclusive family holiday in Zante ☀️We share our favourite spots and travel highlights before chatting about Zoe’s exciting new business launch and what we’ve been watching lately.Plus, inspired by a TikTok trend, we reveal our top five horror stories and pet peeves 😭 before helping a listener navigate a heartbreaking breakup.Got a story or dilemma you’d like to share? Pop us a DM on socials or email [e-mail]!And remember you can sign up to Patreon for extra episodes every week plus bonus vlog-style content, competitions, group chat, early access to tickets and looooads more! See you there piggies 💖 patreon.com/ALotOnYourPlate Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Bye. Bye. Hello guys. We're back in the studio. We're back. How are we? It's been a long time and I'm bloody glad to be back, Zoe.

Are you? A couple of weeks. You're feeling a bit down in the dumps and aren't you, I look, sound and feel like artful. You don't look any of the above. Backs under my eyes. Do you think it's that norovirus

because I've seen a lot of people are getting that again, you know? Is that sickness, though? Like, you vomiting? I'm not. Oh. But is noravirus sickness? Not sure, maybe.

I've just got what I would describe as a cold. Yeah. But I blocked and runny nose, itchy cough, throat situation, heavy-headed, a bit achy. Ooh, that's giving flu. I know. But a lem sap helps. Right. But then see when you start to feel it wear off.

Yeah. Because it's bringing your temperature down, isn't it? Oh, God. It's not what we need when we're coming into summer, but where's the sun? No way to be seen. No, it's coming out. This weekend's it not? Is it? I think so.

Oh. I think so. I think it's getting hot. And steamy? I'm sure it said 20 something. Peak summer. That's like get the pad and pull out for the reins. Yes.

I'm back from my gallivanting, but before we tell you all about what we've been up to, our wellness event. It's close. It's in a few days by the time this episode comes out. It's this weekend. And as it currently stands, Reform a Pallarion.

is sold out. Matt Pilates session one, I think has like four spots left, so that probably will be gone. So the second session of Matt Pilates with I.L. Lucy is available and paddle or general entry tickets where you can just come for the crack, come see us and watch our amazing panel and shop or small businesses. Also, if you do have a ticket, just so you know, you don't need to come just for your class time. 11 until 2 is basically like an open time.

you can come for your class then leave or you can come an hour before your class do your class then hang about or you can just hang about the full time just quickly up to you you know what make some time to explore some of you the shops that are in the building where the court is because it's really cool

it's a really good unit isn't it with lots of different shops and coffee shops pizza places yeah it's cool so we can't wait to see lots of you there this Sunday dress code just as if you're coming to a gym class we're just going to be wearing like trackies and a nice tracktop or something like that. Just casual vibes.

A pleasure, yeah. Anyway, so on this week's episode, I'm going to be telling you all about my gallivanting. You, Missy Pants. What? Have launched a new freaking business. Oh yeah, I have. I'll tell you about that, if you're lucky.

Yeah, can't wait to hear. And we've got, honestly, so many dilemmas, which we need to save some for next week's episode because we've had so many emails. I actually went into our junk on our email, right? And there was more. And there was so much more. I love the emails.

Same, easy to find. Yeah, it's good for us as well. It's actually helpful for us to find. Along and I just think it's still so, so sick that people are confining in with their dilemmas. Me too. Also, I want to ask you,

have you seen the new trend on TikTok? Top five horror stories. Yes. So I'm going to ask you what they are. Okay. And I want you guys to write and tell us what yours are. I love reading them. Same.

It's fucking funny. It basically can mean something that you've kind of gone through that's like a horror movie or just something that you really fucking hate. Yeah. I was really overthinking it though when I was thinking about it because the hate thing, I can do no problem. But I wanted to make sure some were actually relevant to me and things that have happened to me.

So it's a mix, I would say. Okay, cool. I love that. So I went on my first girly trip to Beth. Barthalona. Paya, yeah, yeah, and Batalona. Not again. What was the place we've seen it from before?

It was Barthalona. Was it always Bartholona? I think it was Bartholona, yeah. Anyway, so I went to Barcelona with my two friends for my first trip. Girls trip. Guys, I flew a Ryanair. How was that? Flew a Ryanair.

from Edinburgh. I feel like this has become a Ryanair, hate podcast. Awful so, eh, awful. Worse than I even thought, the anxiety are having that queue. Everyone's looking at you in the queue, looking down at your suitcase, like, oh, is she going to get tested? Yeah, what luggage does she got? And I genuinely don't think my little wheelie would have fit

in there, you know, so I was like, I'm glad. But I did have just my handbag and my wheelie in the end, which I told you about last week. But, yeah, it was crazy. A bit of pressure. Crazy, you feel watched. And even just the staff as well, they hate their They hate it

and they I think the anxiety that I felt is just I thought this is not worth it but anyway I'm flying with Ryanair to Bartholona also Barcelona from Edinburgh

No Oh Oh from Preswick Will I be allowed I'm asking You are gonna burst into flames when you walk in there

If I make it to Barcelona The people of air Haters No I know I shat all over their airport I really did. Oh my. Do you know what it was though?

It really wasn't, well, it was the fact that it was shit in there. But it was, there wasn't the same as the W. H. Smith means. It was that, but it's also the fact it's long. It's long. It's not Glasgow. That's not Glasgow. I'm sorry. It's not.

Anyway, I stayed in a place called Graf. So I didn't actually stay in Barthalona. I stay like, I'm going to say a good 45 minute drive away. Right. On the beach. Mm-hmm. In, it's actually in an area called Sinchez, which was really nice. It reminded me a little bit of San Sebastian, actually, the sort of town.

Not nowhere near as big in like the back streets of like San Sebastian, but just the vibe of the coast. Really lovely beach hotel. So it was nice and quiet with my two mates. So we just drank cocktails on the first day. Then there's also a train station right outside the hotel. So you can just go in if you want to. Handy. Which was quite handy.

We went to a place for dinner on the first night called Cagnetti, which is one of the oldest sort of a traditional tapas-style restaurants in Barcelona. Love. Sat at the counter. You could tell all the guys in there were like all older guys that have worked there, probably their entire life, in like white suits. All the girls in the kitchen had like high chef hats on, open kitchen. And yeah, he just took the menus offers and was like, leave it to me.

And my friend Harriet was freaking out like, no, no, I hate this. And I was like, look, listen. He's like, darling, I've worked here for 20 years. You just tell me a few things that you like. Leave it to me. And they did a great job because he just took, basically just gave us all the bestsellers.

No, I enjoy that. It was good. Because it's quite a lot of pressure when you look at a huge menu. Like, oh, you know, I'm only here once. I don't want to miss out and all the good shit. Yeah, exactly. So small plate vibes.

Just honestly, just so beautiful. Really great wine. So we stayed there. I definitely recommend that you book that. It was a recommendation for my friend Rebecca and she always has really nice recommendations. Then the next day we went into Sinchairs and had lunch at a place.

I can't remember what it was called but there's loads of places you could find if you do do that as a day trip. And then I booked us, sorry, my friend Alicia actually booked us a place called the Paella Club. Paella club. Paela.

And when I'd seen some of the girlies in Patreon write and ask about Barcelona recommendations like months ago, I'd seen as some people say you have to go here. It's quite touristy. It's in a quite unsafe area as well, I will tell you that. But it's great if you're going to Barcelona on a hendo or like a big trip because it's such an amazing group activity.

They play like Bad Bunny really loudly and you're all making a different paella each. I think we did the meat, the chicken one. My friend did the veggie and then this other random couple did the fish one. I love paella by the way. So good. And then you all sit at the end and eat it. It's like a two and a half hour. And they gave you so many great tips and things that you can do to make a really good one.

It was about 150 euros per person, but obviously you get a three-course meal with that. You get unlimited Carver, which is why I think it's so good for Hindus and stuff. And then the last day, itinerary was all purely down to me. I was like, let me just let's explore. So I will share that more on just just like a day on what you can do in Barcelona. And we're squeezing so much stuff. Went to a really nice tapas bar called Bar Pimental matches, really nice frozen yogurt places, vintage shopping, saw some of the usual tourist spots, lots of walking, beaches,

and then went to the best, both of the best bar in the world called Paradiso. I have actually been there before, but it's a speakeasy vibe. It was voting number one, I think, last year, but it's still in like the top 100. And that's in the Elbourne area, which is an amazing area to go. When you go for your hendo, you'll probably be going there a lot. Okay. It's where all the fun bars are. Nice.

Some of my favorite bars are in that area where they swing the lights and stuff and they play like, flipping shan de paul all that stuff shandipa so good so anyway really recommend it and I'm sure lots of you wondering like how I was obviously my first trip away yeah

absolutely fucking fine absolutely brilliant I don't know that anyone's shocked but um I knew I'd be like that though yeah I know I knew I would be listen I miss him when he's asleep

but I needed I needed that And I do think it's so important to have time for yourself because it definitely makes you a better month 100%. Oh yeah. Like if anyone listen to this is thinking about it, I promise you. And I guess what I kept telling myself as well when I was there is and I had my room to myself, just soak up this moment.

You're never going to have the easy just lying and get up whatever you want, even though I was still wide awake at bloody 7am because that's my body clock now. But that's quite nice. It was. But you're not a week, but you don't have to. do anything. I woke up to the sound of the waves, not a bellowing child, which was just gorgeous. And he was fine, which his mum came up and looked after him.

Listen, it's so important, I think, for him to have quality time with his grandparents and other people as well, because I spent a lot of time in my grandparents, but two or three times a week. He's now every few months. So from him, it's just so good. It builds that bond. It means so much to our parents as well. So it was lovely.

And me and Richard could still work And then when I came back I just couldn't wait to see him But I knew it was fine Me FaceTime He genuinely couldn't give a flying fuck When I came on the screen Yeah

So girlies do it Do it for yourself Go and have an overnight I can do it I promise you it's not as bad As you're probably thinking Don't leave it too long either Just do it

And that was me He's 15 months now So yeah Just do it And listen I've had We went to London together To do some podcast stuff A few months back

But But yeah, it was honestly fine. I was still breastfeeding then, wasn't I? Oh yeah, I was, yeah. You can just drive home from London. Oh, that's the difference, isn't it? Yeah, we needed to. Like if you really needed to.

Yeah. Or if you felt panicky or whatever, you could just get home. Yeah. But going abroad's a bit different. Fucking good on you. Yeah, really loved it, guys. And then I went, came home, we had a very exciting shoot for... We did.

Spotify Podcast Awards. Yeah. Which we did vlog. so you'll have seen that if you're on Patreon or side dish was a vlog last week yep to spice it up a little and then I went on my first

all-inclusive trip with my family how is it all-inclusive it was chewy it was chewy from East Midlands Airport my dad was like don't worry it's so easy in and out of that airport now Zoe the queue

never ended it never ended to the point where it was nearly outside of the airport for security no for your your luggage. And what had happened was their systems went down so they were having to put everybody in manually. So our flight was massively delayed because it was their fault.

It was delayed throughout the whole of the company. So anyone that was flying with Chewy last week would have been fucked basically. So that was like, I was like bloody out. But I'm going to be honest about this. It's the whole getting the coach when you get to the other side and waiting for everyone and stopping up, stopping off. at every airport. Snobbing me that. No, me neither.

I'm patient. Why did I need to drop you off? I don't fucking know who you are. He was like, get me fucking off. But like, I don't even know who you are. Why am I fucking escorting you to your hotel room? Next stop, Hotel Aqua. And it's like, oh my days.

I'm like I'm on coach trip. No, I know. It was, that part could be messed out. I feel like, come on. I do know what? It was like a 10 minute ride from the airport. We could have just got a taxi. Yeah.

but listen I get it and I understand a lot of people do that I'm just telling you package holidays have never really been my thing I've actually take quite a lot of enjoyment out of doing it all separately I know that you've got loads of perks like I keep being atoll protected

and things like that which is so good but chewy yeah toy, chewy, tooie am I saying that wrong? I don't know why they changed from what was it Thomasons or Thomas Cookisham

it was just easier right too yeah it was Thomas Cook wasn't it yeah very Jet 2 vibes I've never done a Jet 2 holiday but I love a Jet 2 flight Yeah.

So I can imagine it's similar to that. Darling home my hand, yeah. Darling home. Took me a while there. So I stayed in an area. I think it's called Chilli. It's in Zikintosh, right? And the hotel was called Aqua Deluxe.

It says it's five-star. The watch sounds quite promising. Yeah, it did look five-star from the images, but you know when you're there, it's probably Greek five-star. It's never quite the same as the AI image you said it. It's not, yeah. But listen, it was lovely.

The food, I was really impressed with the food. I can't imagine if I was there for any longer than, like, that I was, that I would have, I probably would have got a bit sick of breakfast, lunch, dinner, the same sort of buffet style thing. But it was actually really nice. The offerings were good. Not bad for an all-inclusive? Fear not.

The deal was really good, hence why that's why we went. My step-mom got like a really good deal for short breaks. It was very, there was a lot of Germans there. The hotel was full of Germans. I thought it was quite Brit abroad at first, but then everyone sat was just. German. Was that a German

school holiday or something? Maybe, but you know what's interesting you know a bikini hotel before Scotland

completely took over that was mostly Germans so yeah was mostly German. It's strange how places

have like a majority yeah like an area that they go to so it's the typical when you go around all the hotel

when you walk out is all those tourist shops and all the tats it was just very Brit of broad but

I'm going to tell you now as a whole, as a kynthos as a whole island is absolutely beautiful. I am one million percent going back next year,

100% and I'm doing exactly what I did with Kefalonia, I get in a car, exploring the island. My dad said the exact same thing, just wish we could have a bit longer and done that. And you know I said last week

that I hope that they eat out and let them explore a bit. They were well up for that, more so than me. I think when you do breakfast lunch, you're up for going for a dinner. Yeah. Like your bored of being in the same place

the whole time. And the rooms were massive. It was okay for kids. You got free access to the water park next door, which was brilliant. It wasn't busy. I think Greece as a whole in July and August is so hot and packed with tourists. So take that consideration if you're going with like a new baby as well because I did that last year. It was way too hot.

Too hot. Way too hot. What was the weather like? Was it nice? 22. Perfect. Nice temperature. You think it sounds cold, but I think the UV was quite high, so I was still tanned.

And yeah, I went to some nice restaurants. I will share some stuff over on my page on exactly where I went. I can add it to the monthly newsletter on here if you guys want that. But yeah, I would say I'm not like wowed by my first or inclusive experience. But I do think it was great. You'd also not traumatised? No. Which is something.

And another thing that, you know, when you got there and you got off the coach, you have to bear this in mind that the swarms if you go into the reception to check in at the same time. And the lady comes out like the rep of the hotel. And she's like, everybody sit down and have a drink and I'm like, nah, I've been up since 3am. I'm checking in, love. I'm checking in and I'm getting my baby upstairs and getting him changed.

So that sort of stuff, I think, I don't like that organised, all-inclusive life. Yeah, it's more, I think it's like an older thing where, you know, like, I think parents treat their holiday really starts on the way at the airport. Yeah. Whereas for us and like our sort of generation, I feel the holiday starts once I'm in my hotel room.

Yeah, I agree. Like, I'm not bothered about a drink in the airport. I'm not bothered about a drink in the hotel, like, the hotel. I'm the same as you, actually. I'm not excited until I'm in my room and I'm getting changed. I think that tends to be, though, because you're always getting, like, early flights. If me and you went away with, like, some of the girls, we probably would, we would be having a presacki in the morning at the airport.

But I still wouldn't want waiting around. No. I still want, like, urgency. I just want to get there and get started. Yeah, I want rid of my bags. I fucking hate wheeling my bag around. Yeah. And having like a bag on your shoulder, a handbag.

I hate it's too much. Too much, yeah. We did want to get a boat one of the days, but it was too windy, so that was cancelled. We wanted to go and see there's something called Shipwreck Island, which is beautiful. But we couldn't do it. And there's lots of turtles there, so we wanted to go and see them. Turtle is nice. And like I say, some really nice restaurants and things like that.

So, yeah, really liked it. It was really good. Had a lovely time. Yes. Love that. Anyway, how about you Zaz? You tell me about what you've been up to. Busy pants?

Well, I was in London at the weekend. Yes. And I went to see Le Miserables. And this is the musical that you've wanted to see for so long, like one of the most classics, but you've never been? Is that right? Never been, and it's on my 30 before 30. Was it?

Tick. Right, oh. That was the best thing about it. No, it was so good. I loved it. Oh, was it bad? No, I'm kidding on. I loved it.

Did you? Did you? Tell me why? I think everyone needs to go and see that. Why did you love it so much? Great singing, great songs, great production Everyone in it was 10 out of 10 unbelievable Wow

Everyone is an unbelievable singer in that show And have they been in the cast for a long time Probably a lot of them because it's the longest run in musical ever Right How long is the actual musical? How long is it on for? Just under three hours So it's quite long halves

But it didn't feel like it Yeah It didn't feel long And is it a storyline or is it all just singing? All singing. They sing the words to like the responses. Oh, I'm not sure how my brain could deal with that, Zoe. Right.

What I'm going to say is I find that hard as well. Like for a musical lover, I don't love that. I like a bit of chat. But I actually think it's worse when it's cheesier shows. Right. I think they're communicating through song when it's like, say like Hairsby or Mamma Mia when you've seen a film with talking. It's a bit cheesier.

Yeah. But see, because that's quite a serious storyline. What is it about? The French Revolution. The what? French Revolution. Oh, right. I've said the Friends.

It's like serious show. Okay. There is some comedy in it though. It makes a bit more sense because they're kind of speaking in that sort of opera style singing anyway. Yeah. So it doesn't feel cheesy at all the way they respond. And I wouldn't say it's like it's not question and answer. Yeah.

It's just a storyline. Loved it. 10 out of 10 for me. Probably top 5 musicals. Wow. Big statement. That is a big statement. I know.

We'd recommend everyone goes to that. And if it ever comes back as an arena tour because it does arenas like hydro, et cetera, I'll be going. It does hydro? Is it the hydro a couple years ago? It's quite a bit more like... How would that feel, though,

watching a theatre show in a big arena like that? I need a bloody binoculars. The production is just bigger. So like it will just all be like wider out on the stage, probably down and out. Yeah. Rather than just on like a rectangle stage. It's a bit different, isn't it? Interesting.

Yeah, but it was amazing. We'd recommend the night before I went, I had my launch event for QC Collective. Can we know a bit more about this please, boss bitch? Yeah, you can. It is basically a UGC talent agency that me, Quinn Management and Alison and Roslund, who own colours the modelling agency have done together. Yep. So they're my business partners now.

Amazing. It's a genius ideas, I mean. It's brilliant. So it's basically for UG creators. So it's basically like similar to model management, which is what they do, similar to influence of management,

which is what I do, but just for UGC creators. Yeah. So just for people who are creating content for brand purposes only. Yeah. And is it good for the people that are on the colours books as well,

like all the models that want to maybe Yeah, so the reason we've done it is basically to give models the opportunity to move into like social media content creation. I hope so it's the way it's put it at the camera as well and gets them seen. Yeah. Because see if you think about it when you follow brands, they're maybe doing like a photo shoot which used to just be a model stood in silence behind the camera. But it's like the social media girls like do you want to do like a outfit off the day with me or whatever and the model's probably like, no, like I don't speak to camera or like I don't feel comfortable like doing that sort of social led. content so it was kind of to try and help them do that but it just kind of progressed into a separate business. I just think it's amazing though like as a brand right any brand out there that probably

wants to get somebody as a model for their business. Yeah. Rather than scouting someone they could go straight to QC and be like right let me have a look at the models on your books. All these people are going to be comfortable in point of a camera. Yeah. They're probably going to be quite attractive and I don't know I just think it's quite a genius idea really It's a mix we've got models And they get paid as well don't they? Yeah they get paid

Yeah So we've got models from the colours books And then we've also got content creators slash influencers who are already Yeah Out there in the world Yeah So you would like additionally sign them onto the books as well

Yeah So it's a nice mix of people Who we're kind of working with for now And then we'll grow it as time moves on hopefully Yeah that's so good So we had to be launch night And a studio called Studio 93 In the West End

which I'd actually never been to before can't believe it like the amount of photoshoots and things we've done over the years we've like our old jobs hadn't heard of it hadn't been and it's amazing it's kind of like a wee house yeah it's got an open kitchen open studio space

and then like a courtyard so we had a guy making pizzas in an in the oven we had beseco wine tote bags it was just a really chill night and did you have to do a speech I didn't do a speech well we all stood there but Alison and Rosen spoke a bit more and I just said

you make sure you get your tote bag before you get out this door because I worked hard on them. They were really nice. Where's mine? I asked you for one. No, I will get you one. They're gorge by the way. They are so nice.

It's like an adenola tote but with C C collective on. Yeah, so nice. Can any of my listeners get one or what? Maybe we'll sell them as marriage. People are after them. People are after a matte vote bags. They're nice. I'm not surprised, so yeah.

So yeah, it was like most of our talent came who could make it and then we had some like industry friends there. So a few people that we've already had meetings and stuff with about working with us were there as well so it was nice it was a nice mix my mom and Adam and Jason came along as well that's nice to support but it was more so that

because I work with the colours team in their office on a Thursday now every week obviously I talk about people in my life a lot so they were like bring them like we want to meet them so it was nice for them to like put a chat about all the time of course yeah definitely but it was a lovely wee night I wish I was there to support you too sis but obviously

I was aware you would have been if you weren't gallivatin I absolutely wouldn't but that's that but A busy couple of weeks. I think that's why I've got a cold now. Yeah, I said that to you. I think you've worked really hard that you just so catching up with you. I think as soon as I sat in that plane

and go to London and thought, fuck you, you've just sat down. Yeah. Here we come. And as well as prepping everything for our event as well. There's a lot going on. As well as your no job.

I know. It's a lot, but it was a great wee night. Yeah. And buzzing to get started with it because we've been working on it for about six, seven months now. Yeah. But I think because we both have businesses,

it's like we would never want to launch something that wasn't right. Yeah. Like we wanted the website to be up and running the time. We wanted to do it where we could have branding that was good quality, like not just bits and bulbs. Yeah, sure. I also made really cute, we branded matchboxes, which were so pretty. I saw them, they look lovely.

I think one of them I can give you. Perfect, just to like those bags that smoke. Yep. I know, all our lovely candles, been tea lights. Ah, your tea lights, you know. But honestly, that's all I've got to tell you. Oh, last thing, there's always something else. I watched Double Wears Prada 2 again.

Yes, yeah, you did. I loved it. I loved it the second time. And I'll tell you why. Less expectation. You're just watching a girly film. You're just there enjoying it. No pressure.

You're not like... You're not like, where is this going? And you're also probably looking out for different things now, aren't you? Exactly. And I actually enjoyed it. Yeah. So when I was listening back to the episode that came out, last week I thought,

I just don't feel like that anymore. Can't relate. I don't stand it. Shite! But I did after the first time I was impressed. But I think when you just are going in with less care, you enjoy it a bit more. No, I agree, yeah. I actually started a book.

I need to write this on our book to Middychat on Patreon actually. You do. I started a book called Yesterday and it is so good. Oh, that's right. How are you getting on with that? Well, yeah. I'm not going to give you the plot. No, don't.

It's just so good. I think a lot of you might have heard about it. In fact, you read me a chapter. Yeah, I did. It was so good. And it offended both you and me. It offended both of us. Shall I find it?

Yeah, in like the first page or something like that. It's basically about a woman that is an online influencer. Yep. Cooking online influencer. So you. That's you. Yeah. But she's heavy Bible basher, not me.

And she has four different kids called very strange names. And everything is, she's got like three million. subscriber she's got a whole team behind her she basically is very whimsical everything seems so perfect yeah but it definitely isn't okay and i think we're getting to the point now of where you the reality you start seeing the realities it's all coming out no sort of thing i think she i think the plot is where she starts having to live the life that she's portraying online in real life it's not all about with the team behind her and everything anyway the first few chapters i thought i can't get on board with this it just feels a bit too sorry the first few pages

She's giving way too much like she absolutely loves God. I'm not sure about I can read all of this. I didn't really know how I could relate to any of it, basically. She seems like so far up her and honest. It's almost like you like her, but the author is trying to make you hate her. She's not meant to be a likeable character. At this stage, yeah.

Okay. And then this is where it got my attention. So basically she's bumped into somebody in the supermarket who's one of her people that writes on horrible online forums about her. Okay. Who she knows hates her, but she's met her daughter. Right. And no amount of smooth-brained social acceptance could have gotten me to name my daughter something so toothlessly trendy, something that so desperately shouted, pick me as Zoe, cunt.

And then, that offended Zoe. And then this was the next one. She's also slagging off the girl here. A profoundly humiliating desire, as strong and confusing. an animal as the ones that inspired her to watch lesbian porn on low volume while her husband was sleeping next to her. She was definitely the kind of woman who watched lesbian porn on low volume whilst her husband was sleeping next to her.

Me! So yeah, that was literally on page 34 and 40. And she offended us both and I thought, fucking love this book. So yeah, that's a little snippet for you so far of the type of character that this woman is. I think I'll leave that after I finished one of my one. And apparently Anne Hathaway has bought the rights to make it a film. Oh yeah, she said that. Yeah.

That makes me want to read it more as well. Yeah. So it's really good. Anyway, what I was going to tell you and what I really wanted to speak about is a couple of really good things before I asked you this very important question. Okay. I want to talk about how important it is and how fun it is when you go on girls' trips, when you get ready and the makeup bags.

That is where you discover all different kinds of makeup. New products. Yeah. And I just honestly, when I was on Barter there, My friend Alicia's, she gets sent so much PR as well because she does online influencing. And some of the shit that she has and we've got quite similar skin tones as well. So everything looks quite good on her. Sorry, everything that looks good on her looks quite good on my skin.

Yeah. And we were fascinated by a lip liner. Right. It's the Wonder Skin contour lip liner. Right. So you know the one that you get the lips and white. It's blue. It's that.

In shade saddle. Guys, it stayed on all night long. And I hate when people say, this lipstick said on me all that long. No, it didn't. No, it didn't. But it fucking did. I had so much wine, all the food. We looked at the end and I went, you are actually kidding me.

She went, I told you. It was amazing. Wow. Need to try that then. Definitely get that. And also the Knicks professional soft matte lip cream in shade Cabo with the lip liner. It was so gorgeous. Nice combo.

Yeah. And her and my friend Harriet were obsessed with the wire cell blood. in shade 37. It's like a powder compact blush. It looked quite nice in me too. It's quite pinky, like corally pinky. And the road cream blush in shade tan lines. So...

Tan lines. So good. I know we both use that, but that shade is... If it's going to be good for me, it's going to be good for you, sis. Okay. So I really want to talk about that.

And I want you guys to send in anything that you've... Like, on your girls trips recently, what have you found that you're like, oh my God, that's so good. Like, tell us. Let's share our makeup bags. Have you also ever been with friends and they're like, can I look through your bag?

Yes. One of my friends Louise does that a lot. Like she loves to see what's in everyone's bag but I'm here for that as well. I'm so here for that. People's perfume. When do you really go around the perfume halls? Because it all smells the same

and you're actually suffocating. It's overstimulating, isn't it? And you don't really know what's what. Also, you don't get ready we're pals anymore. No. So you don't see these things unless you are maybe on a holiday. Yeah. I honestly look forward to that every night

I was like I just wanted to rummage through both their makeup bags Yeah and see what else I've got you don't notice tonight before Yeah And then they loved lots of stuff of mine as well So there's so much out there Please let us know And another thing Have you seen

It was a girl called Natalie She used to work for PLT But she's now Radio 1 presenter Oh I know who you're talking about Yeah She shared a video on TikTok or Instagram About the new screenshot You know the horrendous screenshot

We have to go through about 5 million steps Oh, how you can avoid that. How you can turn it off. I saw that. I've done it and it is game-changing. I've not done it but I did see that video and I thought, you know when you someone annoys you and you don't ever voice it and you think it's just you? Yeah.

That was one of those moments. I was like, right, so this fucking annoys everyone does it. So to turn this off, you need to go to your settings. General, screen capture and turn off full screen previews. Just click off the toggle and that is it. Back to normal. Just screenshot on your phone. Straight end photo album.

Yep. game changing I thought I need to share that at the pod yeah that's a good hack the big question the big question tell me your top five horror movies ASOS back and stop notifications why is that so triggering

because you don't fucking get them ever in time but now they're sending us emails make it stop too much too much my teeth after whining them hell on earth the question what do you want for dinner hate

been stuck on a plane on the runway unbearable and people that say instead of I mean you'd say that my more serious one was losing

a family dog but I thought I'd keep it like hearties what are yours oh that's good sorry I think Ryanair Thick rimmed

Thick stemmed wine glasses As you all know Yeah Picture menus Yep Laminated 10 times worse And when they're hollering you into the restaurant

Waving it Hard not That's making that noise Boys with aesthetic Instagrams Stay it louder for the people in the back No guys Keep it for the gallies Zara

Changing Room Mirrors Yes And Oh I've got a couple Actually, a couple more I've made up more than five Phone calls Full stop

Don't call me Ever unless it's an emergency Yep I love a voice note though You can voice note me Someone's saying the hotel Doesn't matter I meant

No it's the one that's like When people ask me What my biggest feed is But I can't see Plastic blue sunbed So I just say spiders And finally, this is my, this is definitely a horror movie. Approaching 6pm freshly postpartum.

I thought you were going to say like a month, like February 24 or something. Yeah, I would think that was it. Oh, also people that don't take their makeup off before bed. I know, like we all dread it. But that includes myself. Like if that ever happens to me, that's my horror movie. When I wake up, I'm like, why the fuck do not do that? I've not done that for, I'm going to comfortably say,

years. Yeah. But it brings a lot. Sometimes I'm like, is it really that bad? And I'm like, Zoe, go and take it off. It takes time in.

And you feel so fresh. Especially, it's long. It mostly happens though when you've had a drink. So when you wake up. Or if you just get in really late and you're just like,

oh, can't be ass. Yeah. You hate it, but honestly, I would say the biggest horror movie there was approaching 6, 7 p.m. Postpartum. Fair.

What we need to say is Jess and I have decided that boys with aesthetic Instagrams are the new spice boys. are the new spice boys. It's this generation's spice boys. I'm sorry, why are you taking selfies and lifts? And also, like, why are you walking down the street and your mates are taking a photo for you, like all with your pals? No.

Like you're pretending you're on the phone. That's our thing? Yeah, it's a girl thing. Not even our thing. These, you're not great at it. These candid picks and whatever, like, the boy group aren't you doing that. Go and, like, build something. I know.

Stop. Go and learn how it use a fucking drill. Do something useful. No, that's a shame. We all want you to express your emotional ability guys We're not trying to take that from you But no There's just a lie

I think it is true that If you're like less you're in a dating app And you're looking at the guys like You're so obsessed with yourself How will you never be obsessed with me? Yeah because Jason's got like say pictures of him like walking I've taken them for you You've taken them yeah

So that's okay But when it's the groups of boys And like the adult love I've never loved a matter pick from a boy I've never loved that No Why posing? wipe outing. It's weird.

But if it's not like your girl taking the aesthetics picks then you don't need them. We don't need them. It is the new spice boys. Yeah. Yeah. But fair folks do you lads. Fair folks. But if I was single, would I appreciate it a wee bit more? Maybe because I would want to see your style. Yeah. Like I'm here for a dump.

And I like seeing there's, like, listen, the guys that usually like that do have really nice dress sense. Yeah. or they have good taste in things They're doing it for a reason Yeah, yeah, yeah They're with the times But it's just more so like

How I feel about us in a relationship And you're just doing that Whilst I'm with you Would be weird That's what I'm saying I'd be like, what are you doing? Anyway Sorry for offending

Another bunch of people In this week's episodes We've offended People who book package holidays People have aesthetic Instagrams People who go to fly fry in air. People who go at hotels

of blue plastic sunbeds. Presby Airport. Everyone who travels through Presbyairport. Listen, we're just speaking the truth. It's all lightheartedly. Let's do a dilemma. Let's do a freaking dilemma. Okay, so we have a dilemma that we're going to read to him right the new.

About a breakup. Yeah. It's a sad one, I think. Hi, girls, love the pod. Listen from the start and haven't missed an episode. I'm in the pits of a breakup. I was the one to break up with him as ultimately I realised despite how much I loved him we weren't compatible and I was compromising my own morals and ignoring red flags just to be with him. Drug addiction was a major issue. I decided for both of us it was better to cut it off rather than beg him to change as it's something I did ask for at the start of a relationship and never got anywhere with, so gave up trying and just chose to ignore the problem and do my best to stop it from effect to me. And despite everything, he was great to me and we had a good time. I just ignored and never commented on what he was. was taken and told myself it wasn't a fact to me, which I suppose cover for him when it did.

I'm so shocked to myself, as if my friends were with someone like that, I would be telling them to get out of it, but it's mad how much your heart can roll your head when you're in it. I can be so rational through the day and remember all my wives for doing this, but come night-time, I'm struggling so much and all I want to do is go back on it and talk to him. I know I can't do this is I've shared all the issues with my family and friends who all think I've done the right thing, breaking it off and just out of respect for myself. And not wanting to hurt him further by confusing things. my reason for emailing this is one, I can't sleep, lull.

But two, I wondered if a pod topic or side dish could be how people have got over heartbreak and your own experience or what you think you would do now to manage it. I know everyone says time, but I need some more practical answers than that as I'm a doer. I've got a group of really amazing friends who have been amazing through this, but everyone has their own life and can't expect them to fill and deal with every moment of loneliness and dread I'm feeling.

I appreciate it's not a light topic for the pod, but just in case there's any other heartbroken girlies out there and typing it out as being a bit of therapy in itself. That is so hard. Do you know what though? I think she needs to give herself some grace and listen to that because it takes a lot of courage to walk away from a relationship when it hasn't ended seriously bad,

where you still love somebody but you know something that's not quite right. You haven't left to get to that destruction point. You've been strong enough and realise actually this isn't what I want. So that in itself I think you should be really proud of yourself. Oh, I agree. Yeah. I think it's all fine for us to say like, oh, you would just get out, especially her saying I would if it was my friends.

Yeah. But you're literally proven that it's so difficult to do that and it is such a big deal to do it. I think you shouldn't, I don't think you should feel too bad or worried that you're leaning on your friends too much. Yeah. Like that's what they're there for.

And they will do as much as they can. And I know what you're saying, it's difficult because they can't be there 24-7. But I don't think you should ever feel that if you're maybe, you know, lying in bed at night, upset. But you've already spoken to them about it that day. like reach out again. Yeah.

I would never mind if my friend did that. I agree. They're probably like thinking of you too. Of course. And you know the evenings, that's when all of us sort of offload our thoughts. Sorry, sorry, Jesus Christ.

We offload our thoughts in our own head because that's when we're in our own time. Yeah. We almost, you've had such a busy day for like filling those voids and then you just sat there like, shit, what do I do now?

Yeah. And that's when, of course you're going to think about this situation. So what I would suggest is try and get stuck into something different, like maybe a good book or a good series or keep yourself busy, go to the gym, go for long walks, listen to podcasts. Those sort of things, as well with time,

will help you eventually just one day you'll wake up and it'll be like 1% less every single day. Yeah. I think what about could you try and fall asleep to like watching a YouTube or listen to a podcast so that you're not falling asleep with your own thoughts? Because even, you know, we just go through times and you really struggle to get to sleep.

Yeah. I'll sometimes do that. Need something just to switch off. I'm thinking about everything I've got to do or overthinking a conversation I had with someone or worrying about something. You're like, I need my mind to focus on something else. Do you know what you could also do as well is,

you know how you said that you wrote this down to us and it made you feel better? Could you like make a list? I know a lot of people do this when they're in a breakup, but make a list of the things of why you left, the reasons why you left, why it wasn't working for you, and read it.

single night you're feeling this way, almost give yourself some reassurance that you've done the right thing and you're probably thinking of all the good times, which you probably had loads, but you've got to be in that mindset now. It's like, this is why I left, this is what I'm doing. Because you do not actually think of the good times because you're sad. Yeah. So you're trying to fight against knowing that it's right, but also was it really that bad? Yeah. Because actually we did have fun together. Of course. It's so difficult. And it sounds to me as well, like he needs some help as well, especially if he was all. always turn into drugs and you're making excuses for him. It's just not, it's not healthy,

it can end quite toxic. Yeah. It's not healthy in many ways actually. And he definitely needs to try and maybe by you doing this, you're also ultimately helping him as well. I know, hopefully it gets him a bit up the bum. Yeah. And you never know. Maybe he'll change and come back to you and say, look, I've realised now I'm out of that. Yeah. That's so difficult. But I think definitely don't worry that you're leading on people too much. That's what they're there for. And if they're not prepared to help you with that then they're not good friends but also as you were saying

look for things that can fill other voids but I think it's also important to learn to just like be with your own thoughts agree yeah because that's why night time's hard because you're not at work or you're not out for brunch your pals or you're not out of walk with your friends and family or whatever it's when you sit down with your own thoughts but you need to try and get used to being with them

but it just not weighing you down the same. Yeah, a lot of people don't like being in their own company, do they? Probably because of that reason. So they just keep themselves busy or they turn to alcohol and things like that to try and blur. But I do think a podcast or some YouTubers and or writing down your thoughts is a good way to fill that time. Yeah. But you're not like completely shutting it out. Honestly, one day you will wake up and you'd be like, bloody hell, I didn't even think of them.

Like, it wasn't the first thing you thought about when you woke up. And every single day, and then there'll be a day where it's like, I didn't even think of them yesterday. Yeah. And from that point on, you'll rarely think of them at all. And yeah, I definitely think we should do an episode on breakups. I think we should get all the girlies in that I've gone through it to share with us what you've done, especially in adult breakups. Like, I've only been through a breakup probably in my like early 20s.

Me too. So I know how I'll deal with a breakup now. I'll be very, very different. And I know a lot of people do go through it. So, yeah, any advice that you girls can share with us and what our listeners can do, let's do it. Let's do it. Let's get it all on. Yeah. Let's do it for the girls.

Because I know a lot of people would, like, they probably want contact or they would prefer no contact. I guess that depends on the person, doesn't it? I know. So you know your ex, of course, the most. But you've got to do what's right for you at the end of the day. Hard. Hard. And it also depends on the circumstances.

I know. Like she walked away, still loving this person, knowing this isn't going to work. if something changes and I'm going to have to make that decision for us. And that really seriously takes some guts, you know. Loads people staying situations like that because they're too scared of the what if. So I would honestly give yourself a pat on the back and tell yourself you're a strong-ass motherfucker and you're going to get through this. I think you've done the hard bit.

Yeah. Like it's just sad just now. Like it's just difficult because you're like grieving what you had. You don't know what to do with your time. You're watching everyone around you live in their life. but they're not all happy too. Like, it's going to happen to other people. Yeah.

It's just your turn to take it on at the moment. Yeah, and it will pass. It too shall pass. At too shall pass. Right. I'm going to go over to Patreon now because we've got a dilemma that somebody has emailed us

that wants to keep it strictly on Patreon. Love it. And do you know what else I think we should do? We should do an updated skin care routine, Zoe, because when we shared our wellness stories on our Instagram, the amount of people that DM does like, what's your skincare?

So should we do that? Over to the camera. Yeah, let's do it on there, shall we? Let's go. Okay, right, well, I hope you all had a lovely week and enjoyed this week's episode. Please remember to like and subscribe and get your wellness tickets to your assets.

And vote for us for the lesser choice award on Spotify. That would be bloody gorgeous. All links to all of those things are in our link tree on an Instagram. And we'll put it in the description as well. Yes. So there you go. Easy as pie. Easy as pie. And if you want some more of these juicy, gorgeous episodes,

as well as the group chat and lots of extras, vlogs, competitions, early access to event tickets, you name it. Please join us over on Patreon. And we'll see there every single Friday. And you've got hundreds of episodes to catch upon if you really miss us. And you're like, I'm caught up. Baby, you ain't caught up. There's loads. Also the giveaway this month on Patreon is a bundle worth over £150 from Space InK.

I arrived to my house, by the way, it's really nice. Picked by yours truly. Yeah. Paid by yours truly. Yep. So enjoy it. Okay. See you next week.

Bye guys.