A More Civilized Age: A Star Wars Podcast - 30: The Battle of Mon Cala Arc (Clone Wars 67 - 69)

Episode Date: March 2, 2022

The fourth season of Clone Wars is here, and unfortunately, it kicks off with a bubbling whimper. On the watery world of Mon Cala, the already fraught relationship between its two key cultures is in crisis when the planet's king dies. Now, his son, a child with no skill in command, leadership, or much of anything, is due to inherit the throne despite the anti-monarchist protestations of many of his subjects. Where do the Jedi fit into this? Well, they're on Mon Cala to protect the monarchy of course.  NEXT TIME: Episodes 70 - 72 ("Shadow Warrior," "Mercy Mission," and "Nomad Droids) You can support the show and gain access to a monthly Q&A cast by going to patreon.com/civilized Show Notes     Ahsokaverse AU by @Letoscrawls Hosted by Rob Zacny (@RobZacny) Featuring Alicia Acampora (@ali_west), Austin Walker (@austin_walker), and Natalie Watson (@nataliewatson) Produced by Alicia Acampora Music by Jack de Quidt (@notquitereal) Cover art by Xeecee (@xeeceevevo)

Let us return once more to a more civilized age, Clone Wars podcast. I'm Rob Zackney, joined by Ali Akampora, Austin Walker, and Natalie Watson. I've been struggling how to introduce these first three episodes of the fourth season because just trying to give an outline of their themes, and I'm explaining an awful lot of context, which is interesting for a trio. of episodes that are really more on the bombastic military sci-fi adventure end of the Clone Wars Spectrum. It's about ethnic resentment breaking out in civil war. It's about treachery within the royal court of a weak monarch. It's about the Republic member militaries and what it

actually takes to get them to come out and fight the separatists and what it takes for the Jedi to even ask. And it's about our primeval dread of sharks. So powerful, so remorseless, Shark Anyway, I think we'll get more out of analysis in summary so let me just set the broad stage for these three episodes When the ark opens, the two races that share the water world of Moncala,

the Quorin and the Montcalamari, are in the midst of a succession crisis. Padma is there to try and settle the issue along with Anakin and a small band of Jedi and clones, but the Quorin have called in a full invasion from the separatists. The Republic Force ends up up captured or in hiding, along with the young Moncalamari Prince, and the Jedi Council

cast about for allies and land on the Gungans, who absolutely wreck house. But ultimately what turns the tide is the fact that the Quorian realizes the separatists are here to subjugate everyone on the planet. The Montalamari prince implores his Quorum counterpart to turn his coat yet again, and when the forces are united, the Quorin and Montalamari win a bloody, like, shockingly bloody. battle against the separatists that culminates maybe the most violent

90 seconds of Clone Wars I've seen yet somebody in Clone Wars watch gangs of New York and they liked what they saw and it all comes to a head around the leader of the separatist forces on Moncala

Riff Tamson who Austin and I were sitting there last night being like, we know this voice and it turns out it turns out it turns out Tygin from XCOM 2 The head of evil science for ex-com division. Yeah.

So, um, y'all, I had a bad feeling from, like, not a Star Wars bad feeling. You had a bad feeling? Tell me more. Tell me more, Rob. I had a bad feeling about the way this episode opened. Yep. How did this portrayal of Moncala politics and the, all the exposition that's front-loaded into this, like, opening act of the first episode, Water War? How did that work for you or not? It didn't.

Most of this didn't. We were watching a cartoon. This is the most I felt like an idiot for doing this podcast in a year of doing this podcast. It's like to really, really set it up in just like the rawest terms. This show, this episode opens with Padamay and Anakin with their little helmets on because they're all underwater for this whole art. So anyone, scuba suits. They're all in scuba suits. They're all in like a mix of.

of scuba and, like, deep sea diving, because they have the whole helmets. I don't know why they have the whole helmets. In a Phantom Menace, remember, they just popped on those little mouthwreath breathers and were, like, dive in, no big deal. Yeah, but they couldn't talk. I guess they couldn't talk. They couldn't talk. That's fair.

Yeah. There's a comfort thing. They got dry faces now. They got away the Jessons bubble. And, like, the core premise of this whole arc is, and I was laying out just the just the facts, just the details. on Mount Moncala there are two races

They're two species The Quorans and the Montcal The Montalamari The people the people in Admiral Akbar are They have had Tension for a long time And what gets unrolled Is a sort of

A classic ethnic conflict Quote unquote Where two people share a same region They have that tension The king is killed Slash dies The new king is a little boy The Quorans all

say shit like down with the monarchy no more kings their beef is one why the fuck should this 12 year old be our leader he doesn't know anything understandable and that means too he's going to be king his whole life we're not going to get

if you're alive and you're like a 40 year old quoran you just have to admit I'm going to live under another fucking Moncal for the rest of my life because he's a little boy he's going to live until he's 90 I know what medical technology is like in the galaxy it's good um and so they're like, don't do this.

Then what happens is the Montcalamari go to the Republic to call in Jedi. In response to that, the Korans call in the separatists. They ask, it's the most like, we got to call in, we got to call an American observer to make sure this is a fair monarchy election. It's not an election. It's not an election. But they call in the Jedi to try to ease tensions, which leads them to, which leads the separatists the calling on Count Duku.

And so we get a three-episode run that is like the most reactionary of the show has been, both on the textual surface of the Jedi are here to restore the monarchy of a 12-year-old boy who is no right. Maybe he's 15. I don't fucking know.

Also, he's named after the fucking tuna fish. He's named after the tuna fish cartoon. He's Charlie Tuna from the Sun Kiss Tuna, but he's a lead charred. That's intentional. Don't vote him to be king. He's not allowed to be king. You can't name, you can't make a little cartoon.

He's a tuna fish. He's a tuna fish. That's legitimate. That's so fucked up. Why? Not only on that level is it this like weird thing of like, oh, the Jedi are here to save the king and like played completely straight. There is no irony. There is no, none of our delicious.

Yeah, of course the Jedi would be there to help the little boy king stay in power. But two, at that second level, it's also just the most. like ham-fisted version of this conflict that of course, you know, the whole thing is a Cold War thing, right? The whole thing here is like here's a proxy fight between the Republic and the separatists in which they're fighting over the future of this one location, this one, this one, you know, nation. And each of them sides, you know, backs a different side in the conflict. Each of them has a different vision. But the separatist side of this is just to enslave the whole planet, which is like the sort of propaganda that comes out during the

Cold War about what will happen if you side with the Soviet system. You know what I mean? That like, this is what people said was happening in Cuba, you know, this is what people said would happen in Southeast Asia. And so, like, to just play that completely straight and have Rift Tamsom and Duku be at their most like boilerplate cartoon villainous undercuts any of the kind of delicious, the little bits that we like to get to get here, or a little snacks. And so it was just like, also, here's my last complaint.

I know I'm just venting all of this, but like, it's three. It's three episodes. They made this three three episodes. This should have been one episode. This could have been one fucking episode. Two max. One episode and the end of episode one, you do the call in. You call in your pals, the Gungens.

And that's episode two. You're done. You're out. Three episodes. That's who. There's different stakes in the third one. Anakin and Padme are in trouble. You're right.

Anakin and Padmae are in trouble in the third one. There's not even like a good like, like the, The Anakin and Padmae stuff in the third episode isn't even justified because, like, there's nothing that, like, happens between them that's, like, right. Anakin should, like, you know, showing up for Padmae when nobody else could or whatever. No, Jar Jar takes care of that real quick. No problem. No hesitation. We'll get there.

We'll get there. But, yeah, I agree. I thought, like, there's nothing. like there's nothing even it's like everyone is is in a different story like everyone is in a different episode arc like the Republic and the separatists

are in the episode arc of we can't let the other person get more territory and fucking Prince Charlie Tuna is in I don't even know what episode arc of just he's like I got to become a real boy

I got to prove that I'm a good leader by repeatedly letting my people die. Repeatedly letting my people die, going, he consistently, every time somebody, every time Admiral Akbar is like, the prince must decide what we will do. And then he, the prince is like, okay, so what should we do? And then one person says something, he's like, all right, we're doing that. Like he has no, he has no influence. He's a little, Natalie, he's a little. little boy he's just a little baby boy is out of his mind he's like he must be the one

to inspire him that's what modern he'll do to a motherfucker this is what it means to want a divine king oh my god it's so pain it's so like the fact that also it's the fact that we consistently have like Every single time Charlie Tuna would just do whatever the last person said. Yeah, yeah. Just drove me so fucking nuts. Like if you're going to at least do the thing where, okay, he needs to prove himself. He needs to lead the way. Yeah.

At least let him come up with some material for himself. Like, he's got no material. He's got nothing to show. There's one time when he's like, I know a short. I know a shortcut. And he goes through the shortcut. and then they blow up the shortcut and the shark almost eats him. So it doesn't really work.

The shortcut is an extremely visible tube through the battle? Like, what are you doing? It kind of is a water slide underneath the water. The like tension of this dynamic, there's like a really good microcosm of the like attack of the clones, Jango Fett situation where Anakin tells Assoca what to do, who then asks the prince what to do, who responds. And then Akbar's like, well, wait, no, no, no, you're wrong about that. And instead of being like, here's my suggestion, he waits for the prince to say the right answer. And then it's like, oh, okay, yeah, let's do that. Instead of just like being a leader the whole time.

This should have ended with Akbar becoming the de facto leader of the Moncal. I'm getting rid of the monarchy. It's wild to me. The end of this wasn't the end of the monarchy. The good, happy end of this is the corns don't mind having a king's now. So the things that get passed over here Is just like So you both share this planet

Yes Why is the ruling family Calamari? Why is there one nation? Why not? Why is there a single? Is this? Did these borders get redrawn

After a big galactic war? Where they're just one planet You've won you've won senator whatever? It's a whole ass ocean Like, bro, just go to the other side If you, like, I don't know Like, why, why? I don't know, if the beef

In my mind, there are Man Calamari cities And there are quarantines, again, it feels very It feels actually less like a political conflict And more like an ethnic conflict arising from the fact that these people Despite the fact that they both are from this planet Historically forever as far as I know no one like emigrated to this planet no you know what i mean like they've had the lifetime of

the stars to work this shit out and and come to some sort of i don't even necessarily know how they both evolved on this i guess star wars evolution who the fuck knows the fourth does weird things so was it clear so i remember in old source books yeah it was clear the corin and the calumari didn't like this was a classic this was known i did not know for certain that they were on the same planet Yes. Okay, they're always on the same planet. The Mon Calamari, the Coran Mon Calamari War was like a 1980s West End books, like Star Wars RPG classic.

The difference, one of the big differences is that all of the Moncal and Quarons had like medieval weaponry in those books for some reason. They had like little shields and spears and javelins, tritons, because they have a boykin. You're not wrong. But also, I never made sense to me for the same reason of the wookie thing, making ships make it made sense because this is the opposite which is like they had they make the ships from star wars they're the ones who make uh those big montcal cruisers so the ships look like whales and it's why their it's why their city looks like that their city in this is

based on the design of their ships the kind of bulbous long oblong you know shapes is rounded that's like their cities just look like ships that have been made vertical basically um but like well why the fuck are they fighting with tridents so they got rid of that for this at least i'm I'm glad they updated the Moncal Armory, but yeah, it's always been that, Rob. It's always been those two species fighting, has been, like, in the, in the EU, that has always been the thing. So, like, I don't know, thanks for throwing us a rope, people who, like, liked that RPG, I guess, but. There is, is it, go ahead. Is it the thing of, like, the Republic census is, like, well, there's only so many folks on this planet.

So we're only going to listen to one representative. So you pick And that's it I mean it's called the Mon Calamari planet It's like the planet itself is named after Only one of the people there Which is fucked up Like how did we get here

Yeah I have to think that like It was the case of like one One group discovered weapons First and or like invented bigger weapon first and then the Quaritan did have a representative right like he's the one who gives that really cynical

he's the cynical guy yeah totally and in the pre in the prequels there is another different quran senator so there are corn senators yeah so they do have some sort of political existence independent this is it's just a weird setup because uncritically it's supposed to be like oh no we need to get this child on the throne

and he's not even a good child he's not even cool like this isn't this is not one of those like he's no J-bo hood I get it but he's not he's not a Padmay do you know what I mean like Padmay

yeah he's got no position whatsoever it's bad it's not great and so then it does appear that so the quoran we know that the quran leadership doesn't have this is the weird thing we're reassured like the quran leader no sir nasaree nasorri yeah it's it's a kind of hard one to say

he was friends with the old king who was assassinated so this is the other thing hanging over this is there's uncertainty as to like what happened to to the old ruler but right before the civil war begins he does have a sort of like compassionate moment with Lee Char where he's like, you know, I did really like working with their dad, respected him a lot. But in the meantime, everyone is getting ready for the fact that this war, this conflict is about to turn hot. As always, the Jedi Council underreacts to an extent they send, they're like, we're going to send a couple Jedi and like a small group of dudes

and clearly take sides in this dispute but in the meantime the quoran have actually had sort of smuggled on the planet for a while a huge separatist like infiltration force

and so we get we get sort of a street fight in the cities of Moncala I will say this like you know production values have gone up throughout the series everything in these these episodes looks i think like in terms of the water the play of light the way things move looks pretty cool um like it's it's it's it's well done in terms of like making it not just

look like they've just like put a blue tint over space yeah uh i would say oh yeah i don't know that the cities themselves to you hear to allie to your point earlier where like the shortcut is a tube the tubes are full of water everyone on this planet is some kind of fish Or, sorry, marine life. Yeah, I would expect the tubes to have, like, extra oomph, like, maybe the water is going a little faster. Yeah, it's like a race of birds building stairs. Yeah. You know?

Yeah. Yeah, I didn't get the tubes because they were really going at the same pace in the tubes. And it didn't help their cast. It wasn't like, this is how, like, the humans can, like, get around the city. You're still full of water. You still got a swim. No, and they have cars in the water. They do have water cars.

You're not wrong. There was something I wanted to ask about, because I'm not like a tactics war guy. That's not something I think about. But if you're a fish and you're fighting war in the water, you're still just going to have two groups of people just come towards each other. Yeah, just line up. Like you're not going to play the field at all there.

Sometimes someone like zips in a little bit from the pile, but mostly it's two armies swim right at each other. That's how planes fight, too. You get into a line at the same height level, and you just fly towards each other's shooting. Sure. Yeah. It's bad. Like, I, I, it's, it's, I'm stuck in this zoomed out view where I'm, like, I'm just thinking about season four at this point.

Like, this is a bad start to season four. I don't even want to zoom in enough on these episodes to, like, give specific complaints, which means I'm just doing a bad job as a podcaster, because what we need to do is zoom in to talk about the episodes. And it's hard. I was to say real quick, I like it when the ships are not in the water and they're landing, like Asoka and Kit Fisto are there and it's all sunny and like the sun is setting and everything is cast and that glow. That looks real pretty. Yeah.

Is the Filoni zone about Kit Fisto? Because like, what's the point about it? We got to talk about the Filoni zone. Because the phoony zone's changed. Before we get there, I just want to say one thing. I have one question before we go to the phoony zone because it's not about Kit Fisto at all. The Austin Zone is about Kit Fisto Welcome to the Austin Zone

Here's my question Does Kit Fisto not like wearing a shirt? I don't think he likes wearing a shirt Okay The people who live in the C 24-7 Are wearing clothes Like lots of clothes They got shoulder pads on

And he's also in a battle Like he doesn't need a scuba suit He should be wearing a shirt He could have armor on to block the laser boots He's sexy I don't know if y'all noticed that but I missed it did you see his um you see the art on the side of his ship I don't think I remember it no it is it's a picture of him oh my as a bomb wow diving with a big smile and it has some orabash underneath uh-huh alley defender of peace question mark wait what

does it say that what well he's a Jedi yeah yeah no he's a bomb that Susan gets It's the rules. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah, you're right. The thing is... He knows what galaxy he lives in now. That's right.

Maybe the clones drew this on, and he had to be like, oh, I like it very much. It's very good. Very good. It says underneath, it says, service with a smile is what it says. Oh, my God. It's a nightmare. Kit Fisto, you're the best. Kit Fisto and what's his name, hang out, like, every weekend, right?

Plow or... Quimlin Voss Yeah Quimlin Voss Like they give me They're the boys They're the boys

They're Plo comes through This close To turning into a full metal jacket Like Plow used to hang with them

But then Plow had That that phase Where he grew up You know what I mean He became a Jedi He became He got nominated to the Jedi Council

Now he can't do that He's like I can't do it anymore Bros I'm sorry But he still But I'm still with you Yeah exactly Save me a cold one He says

He goes to the first two spots with them And then the rest of the night Is between the boys Yes Where are we dropping lads He uh People who don't know Kit Fisto is another underwater alien

Maybe people just don't know Kit Fisto He's a big green underwater alien With like tendrils behind his head He's a different type of sort of Immediately in Revenge of the Sith Yes

But he has been he has one hottest Jedi of the year in Republic People magazine with that that 100 watt smile let's see on it It's 100% true

His smile is legendary People are just charmed instantly I hope we get more Kit Fisto I'd like to see more Kit Fisto I'd like to see more of Kit Fisto Not much luck to see if Kit has anything to say about it You're right, you're right Anyway that's my Kit Fisto zone

My Faloni zone is The Faloni zone changed They're not doing episode by episode Breakdowns anymore They're doing arc-based breakdowns Oh So this is Do we want to go?

It's long So this is I have to rethink about How we're going to do the Faloni zone in the future Okay But I feel like we should We should

Experience one full length Five minute plus Philoni zone Just so that the readers And listeners Can firsthand understand the dilemma because the next one's longer than this. So what I might have to do is

excerpt a Faloni zone versus give the whole zone. You know what I mean? I think we need to like we we're about to have the whole season of arcs right and we have to do the best felonone zone. You know what I mean? The thing is there is

there is something about this big Filoni zone. The energy is different because the format is different. This is not he isn't okay old Filoni zone. What happened? He would get invited in, clearly. It thinks we don't know the actual answers to, but I'm going to hypothesize anyway. They would call him up and be like, hey, Dave, can you come into the office?

We're doing the DVD special features. Can you just sit in front of this camera and say something this episode about the episode's production? And so sometimes you'd get gems like, you know, deep conversation about the techniques they use. And other times you'd get real diamonds, like when he talked about circles versus squares and how you cut a hole in the wall. Because he's just extemporizing. This format is different. going to spoil it, but you will understand it in just a moment. Okay.

Also, I should say right now, he's recording this in the middle of this season. He references an arc we have not seen yet. He doesn't spoil it, but he references it happening and the mood around it. And then he says the name of a character who shows up at the very end of this, which I think is not a spoiler because I already knew and they kind of already teased this character. If there's any question about whether the previous tease was legitimate or not, it is no longer It is no longer There's no doubt

So I would say if you really want zero spoilers Jump ahead by like six minutes From where we are now But it's also not a spoiler Just fucking listen. All right Ready to click? I'm ready I'm ready. Okay

I'm now ready Three, two, one, go Hey, I'm Dave Floney Supervising Director of Star Wars The Clone Wars and I hope you've been enjoying Season 4. I know things have been pretty extreme with General Pong and now you're in the middle of the slavery arc and to get you through it to get you through the lean times here

I'm going to answer some fan questions I know you guys got a lot of questions and I love answering them so let's get started it will help pass the time help pass the time let's get started with Darth Reaper 29 Darth Reaver 29 you would like to know if anyone know why they change the planet name from Mon Calamari slash that to Mon Cali Well, I mean, the very simple answer for that is when we are in the writer's room with George Lucas and we talk about making the episodes and what the planet names are, George actually has a very big binder of all the planets and planet names of aliens, and he's a bunch of names that he's created over the years. One of the names he has in there is now Moncala. Moncala Mari George always refers to as the people, not the planet. So we decided that Moncala would be the planet. It's one of those cases where I know certain EU material will say. say it's one thing, but then, you know,

George Lucas will say it's another, and we tend to go with George Lucas because he created Star Wars. So it's a pretty easy decision to ask for the way and as long as the writers all- Dan, a little shrug. Back with that, we're fine. As far as DAC City, does that exist or not? In the production of Clone Wars,

you see a big underwater city. Yeah. At one point in the script, I believe, it was referred to as DAC City, but I think we cut that reference, if I am correct. And then there are also in the EU, you'll see certain above-water cities. Those cities are still existing on the planet of Moncala.

It's just that we couldn't show them in our effort. We didn't have the need to show them or the production. They weren't important strategic frontiers. Right, right, so we didn't see the above-water stuff. So I hope, but Darth River 29, that answers your question. So a question from Darth Cherbs. Was Nina Till's from episode three? Darth Churbs?

If so, why the gender changed? Yes, Meena Tills is in episode three, and she is now in the Clone Wars. And Mina Tills, the name, is based on a Lucasfilm employee and friend of mine, Tina Mills. And Tina Mills happily was in the Clone Wars. I thought that, you know, her namesake, the character in Star Wars to be a lady. That's a Star Wars name. Frankly, to be honest, to be that Mina Tills was a lady. When we looked it up and saw that it was a man based on the fact that a male played her,

We thought, well, Grito's actually also played by a woman. Most of the Cantina aliens are played by women. We just saw Grito with some high heels. And they're actually in the EU male. So we thought, well, this is just, this has precedent in Star Wars. It's just some people got it wrong. Mina also is a very feminine-sounding name. So Mina and Tina, and we thought, well, it'd be nice to Tina for it to be a female fish.

And Tina was very happy. So we put boobs on our eye. I exaggerate the tithes on that fish. our friend who played Mina in this is you know you look at a fish it looks like a female fish You're still going Dave A large mouth bass

Which one's a male and a female I know what are we Dave you just What we do you want to Her name is Tina Mills I wanted her to be in the show Done out we don't We don't need the solo shot of the fish

kids They're so big Bang and Rag and a Rack A bit of a gray area there In the fish world of Star Wars So don't always assume because the actor is a male that the alien is going to play.

I can't believe we're still here. It is a galaxy far, far away, and very different sometimes. But thank you, Darth Cherves, for the question. But thank you, Darth Cherbs. Here is yet another question from Darth Neomalus. Do you think, do I think,

that Carpherodon's can go out of water? Or are they like fish, and will they die out of water? Well, since they're kind of space alien shark people, they absolutely can go out. My mom, Kala, and the foreign above aquatic species out of the gondon, they were just above water and below water. So we did the same things with the Karkadon, and we made sure that when the soldiers were rigged and Riftamson that their feet could bend, their flippers could bend up to be active feet.

So you will see this season, actually, some Karkarodons out of water and happily running around in bare flippers. So that's going to be something exciting. I'd like to see him walk around. Look for, but for Dark Nimalis, your wishes come true. There are quite healthy shark people walking around in Star Wars, the Clone Wars. Well, thank you so much for your questions. I really enjoy answering. Like I said, you guys, ask great questions. Never be afraid to ask questions, you know. But for now, look forward to the rest of season four, and keep checking Star Wars.com for

updates. We'll have new material here for you all the time and get you ready for the second half of season four and the coming of Darth Mall. See you go. Let's go. Unfortunately, it just mean that happened in the second half of the season, so we're far away. Well, that makes me feel a little bit better about the start of season four, knowing that we're going to get there eventually. Well, did you like the, whatever the, he said the name of a general, and then immediately after he was like, I know we're right in the middle of the slavery arc. So I missed that Yeah

Uh huh Yeah The Republic wants to address this issue By defending these slavers It's This New Flonie zone format is so hard I guess I could just pull a question Maybe

Going forward Right But then you miss that great build Of three people with bad Darth names It's so good It's so good I mean, I hope that everyone has Darth names from now on going forward. Also, I enjoyed when he just grabbed the shovel and started digging about the weird gendered fish people.

Dave Filoni, you are not the expert on gender, my guy. I was like, I feel a little weird if I were a woman and my coworker's like, I'm putting you in the show. And it's like, cool. You remember one of fish people? Cool. And then it's like, but the fish ladies have them titties. And it's like It's

It's like it is like it's like it's like the Xcom thing right When the snake people Like the new the new model snake characters In Xcom like also had boobs It's just a weird thing to do How could you know there's how could you know You just couldn't know so Quality means giving the fish men packages

We should like like Dave I want to see Dick bulge I mean honestly Riff Tampson should have had a big old bulge, I think. Oh, 100%. The way he, I mean, he's also just in a skin, tight, white outfit. Uh-huh.

Right? Yeah. Yeah. I just think he should have been bulged up. I agree. I agree with that. I have to, I have to give him his kudos for how well he plays the room in every room that he's in. He's like always moving around.

I thought you meant Dave Filoni for like half of what you were saying. Same. Same. Well, Dave Polone's wearing that hat. He has a smile. His hat has a new little charm on it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, Riftampton plays the room. Yeah, he's always like bumping into people intimidatedly. He's always like making sure he's like in someone's face or like circling around them. He's like, I, we were talking about how the city was like not very well designed for fish people to live in. But like he was like, he was a. fish living on screen. Yeah, yeah, actually, like, as it goes on, like, later, when he's firmly, like,

got the upper hand over everyone, the way, like, his aides do the, like, the circling thing in, oh, yeah. It gives things, like, this really antsy, like, the, like, shark circling is a scary fucking thing, you realize, like, wow, that's a really powerful creature. And the way they just start doing that once it's full mask off time, and it's kind of of they're, like, pacing back and forth and, like, getting amped up to, like, do their shark thing. like Tamsin and the shark people

kind of cool I think the coolest like new addition that and the I'm basically not sure how I feel about the jellyfish robots I guess they're cyborgs right because they're half machine half organic or something

So in this battle they're the closers like the Kalamari and the Jedi do an okay job of like sort of fighting this thing up to almost a standstill And then these giant like cyborg jellyfish show up And they're like the walkers and Empire Strikes back Like they're just unstoppable

There's nothing Not only is there like just by occupying space Their attack is like irresistible But also like all weapons are just shrugged off of them Okay cool so this is the heavy It doesn't seem to be relevant for the rest of this arc That these things are like a new and terrifying enemy The Gungans show up

and like those little balls of energy we saw in the first of the prequels turns out that that is just like that thing has the explosive yield of whatever the plot requires it is the most powerful like munition in the galaxy because the gun is just like

boop and the jellyfish just below the fuck up so they have to repurpose a different separatist robot we've seen and have it do something really cool but But, like, they completely forget that in the first episode, these jellyfish, the Hydroid Medusa's. You seriously called them Hydroid Midas? It's my due size, you're out of a bitch.

You know, I need to get in here and edit this. Anyway, they forget the Hydroid Medusa is, like, the final boss of, like, the mechs they've deployed here. Yeah, they're cool as hell. And you should say them to blow up for the third, that had season. season three. God, imagine if this whole show was just

what I was trying to be guys, there's a show about just this one war in Star Wars and it's all

underwater and it's seven seasons long. But no, they should have saved them getting defeated for the third

episode. That, that to me feels like the place for it, right? That's, like,

they're on screen for maybe five, well, five minutes seems generous at a 26-minute show. It does.

Because like, literally what happens is like, they're like, oh, it's a majestic creature.

They're invincible, And then they float up a little bit And they shoot the bottom of it And That's about it Is that what happened? Am I missing anything? Do they attack?

They just attack by being electrified, right? They just flow towards Like I have to go back to Allie's earlier comment Of swim up Like swim down Swim around Like there's so many

There's so much water You can go any direction you want. There's a wave of jellyfish coming No, that's the way of the jellyfish Is when they show up, there's no more like It's like being under a giant like super cloud of like Right, you can't get up anymore You can go down still

Until you're at the bottom Why do you go left? Go down and then around They're slow as fuck You can outrun them Grab on the, get on the fucking car You can get out of there Yeah

I just think, I don't know, if I saw a big floating jellyfish coming towards me, I would simply swim away, is just what I'm saying. And I think there might have been a chance for that as well. RIP to all those divers, but Natalie's different. Natalie, I also want to thank you for your swim up, swim down, swim around, which is certainly going to be sampled in some upcoming electronic songs, some sort of 90s throwback, you know. I'd love to hear you're going to be on the next happy hardcore disc for sure

also in all of this episode like yes this is where there is no point at which I'm like I hope this Lee Char kid can really come into his own as a leader like Akbar comes across as a fucking rube who's like it's like being a good loyal czarist officer in like the 1910s where you're like no no Nicholas like it's all about you you got you know what you need to do direct rule And it's like you were going to get that man in his family killed. Like you telling this man that he has qualified to do this rather than just a schmuck who is here by an unfortunate accident of history is going to get all these people killed.

Leachar is telling you he can't do this. And that is the last bit of self-awareness he's going to have. Like in his life, if you surround him and coddle him as your monarch, like, let him tell you who he is. They don't even, you know, there's a world where Akbar instead is the one who's like ushering him into like, you know, it's. you can serve your people as a symbol and not only through directly ruling them

and like slowly ushering the nation into constitutional monarchy or something. Let me tell you about head of state versus head of government. Right, exactly. And he doesn't. Like, it's wild. I mean, the end of this is not Lee Char being like,

and we need a unified people where everyone has a voice. And instead he's like, I'll be everybody's king. Anyway. There's no one in this, there is not a single person in this episode arc that is like, except for Kit Fisto being hot. Okay, so only Kit Fisto.

I guess even Asoka is like medium for me. But nobody's like, I'm looking at them and being like, wow, they're really killing it in this episode. Like they're really like, they are doing the thing that they should be doing. Like Padmay off jump, big L plus ratio when she enters, when she's in the fucking. Seaweed. Go touch seaweed. She literally walks out and she's like in the fucking round table of all the quorum and the Mon Calamari. She's like, what can the Republic do to help keep the peace, guys?

Like, what can we do? And everyone's like, boo! Cut the fuck up! Like, leave, leave, leave. We hate you. We hate you. Like resounding booze from everyone in the room. And then she just, like, swims back to her little seat, I guess.

And then, like, and then, and then, uh, uh, Akbar and, in Prince Lee Char have a little exchange where Prince Lee Char is like, they're cheering for, for them, you know, they're cheering for the Jedi. They're cheering for, for other people. And Akbar's like, then make it for you. Like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Does it work? No.

Also, the funniest thing could happen at that moment is he goes to leave from the front and just gets murked by a straight shot. Oh, I wanted that so bad. That would have been the best. That would have, because this is how that goes. He has no business doing anything. But instead, it's like, no, we're going to turn you into a figurehead.

But, of course, you actually have to be at the head of all of this. Even though you, like, are a child. Sorry, I just remember the thing that he does right before this. just remembered he gives a speech there's just like working through this is like being in therapy like truly where i'm like remembering things i meant to bring up and then we move you know what i mean like oh wait sorry i have to go back to last monday i'm sorry i'm supposed to be done with that stuff but it's contextual it's relevant it's contextual it's super super super super super relevant bro when he is like i don't think he has a big speech and he's like and i want everyone to know i believe in peace

and that we're going to achieve peace in our time between us and the quorum and I don't believe that they'll attack us. And it's like, beat, boom, they attack. Can you imagine being in the room and be like, this is our king? All right, well, we're going to fucking die.

We're done. This is the guy we're going to die for. This kid who said three minutes ago the quorum weren't going to attack, and then they attack immediately. There's nothing. There's no distance. There's not even like,

no one could even, lie to themselves and be like, well, he bought us a week. There's nothing. The fact that not a single person is pointing out, I mean, except for Anakin. Like, Anika is the only one that's like, has any sense in the show.

And it's like, hey, guys, we need to get the kid to safety and get them the fuck out of here. And let's do war. And we'll fix it. And then, you know, we'll leave. This is one of the most, like, this is almost where it's like, okay, I can see where some good, some good comes from

the Vader side of him. He is so visibly pissed at every moment of this arc. He is so like, okay, fine. Let's see what Lee Char has to add this conversation. You're right, Captain Akbar. We should wait for Lee Char. Lee Char, what do you have to say? Okay, great.

That was worth hearing, wasn't it? Literally the exact thing that happens to that exchange is Admiral Akbar gives the suggestion. Anakin's like, no, we should not do that. not do that. We should do anything else. Like, we're not doing that. We should not. And then Admiral Akbar is like, well, the only person who can tell us what to do is Lee Char. And then Lee Char is like, uh, what Akbar said. And Akbar is like, the prince has spoken. Oh, it's so fucking glad. Like that's, that's the exact thing. And I was losing my mind. How is, oh my God, how is, whenever Lee Char speaks to a civilian, how is not a,

single one of them like Natalie is making a face Natalie is making a very big bulging eyes confused are you for real also I mean part of the problem is that I don't mean to paint with a broad brush this is just how they're drawn all the Mon Cow constantly look like

they're smiling they all have the little turn up at the side of their mouths so even when they're like flying into war they all got that little on their face Hey, yeah, it is like a dolphin smile, exactly I was like, y'all are about to die They're like the Quoka

Have you seen those like the happiest animal? They are like the Quoka They're like the Quoka, yes I think that was an inspiration here I think so But here's my beef with Anakin this episode Is halfway through this episode He loses his helmet

Begins to suffocate Does not have a backup I would at least keep one of them Little Reathers on me The little ones that they have in them Just in case And he's like drowning and getting like overwhelmed

and Asoka shows up in her little sea car shoots the dudes away grabs the helmet before it floats down into the fucking abyss where it would be gone forever gives it back to him

she says you called for backup his puts his helmet back on he does a big gasp and he goes I had it under control Snips fuck off bro you walked into the light

like a minute ago y'all are supposed to be tight from here on out y'all are back to this immediately Madalie was right it's about to be battle stations between the two of you.

It really is. It was. It was Allie. That was Allie's point. Sorry, it was Allie's point was the name of this season is not battle stations. It's not battle sides. What is the name of the season? Who remembers?

It's battle lines. Battle lines. Oh, sure. That's what it was. So, yeah, like the thing that goes horribly rye is they try to escape the planet in the next episode. and I will say Riff Tampson is very funny he hath a sense of humor

he's like let them get real close to their ship there's no reason to do this there is zero reason to do this he's like let's let them see their shit and then blow it out just before they get there not wait till they board it he could have waited

till they're like in the blast radius no no no no no no no no he has to like break their spirits and I was like this is the funniest guy we've met on the separatist line yeah He could have killed everyone. He could have just ended it right there. And he wanted to do a funny little game first, a funny little silly thing.

So is that the point at which the Jedi convene their counsel of deciding who gets to be in a fucking war? Yeah, I think that's, yeah, I think it's after that they make the call. It might be before. I think it's actually pretty early. Yeah, it's pretty early, actually. So they gather in a room. They gather in their Jedi council. quarters. And you know, the whole crew is here, Yoda is here, Obi-Wan is here, 80

Gali is here, Luminar is here by hologram plow is here, Mesa's here. And they're looking at a map of the Moncal City. And they're like, all right, we're going to need someone who's good at underwater combat. They don't even, they don't even like start with the premise of like, we're going to need to convince someone to go to war. They start with, it'll take us a while to get some clones up and running. Let's find a different speed. to jump in here. Yoda specifically is like perhaps you should not use clones. Maybe we should find something else.

And they start going through the galaxy. They pull up the whole galaxy map and they pop up all their filters like they're playing EU4 and they're like, just show me underwater kingdoms real quick. We need a suitable ally. An underwater race says our guy with the big horns whose name, I don't remember what his name is, but he showed up for the first time last season. an underwater race that has a standing army which is

I don't I didn't know that the Gungams had a I guess I did I guess they did in Clone Wars They rolled up with an army They just are sitting on those troops all the time I guess so Those guys do how to march and how to fight a war And maybe there's that a national guard situation Is that a have they just go through training

When they're 20 you know what I mean But yeah they're just there So they we get the Gungan We get the scene We go to Gunga, we go to whatever the name of the city is. And I thought it was going to be boss NAD again, and it's not. Boss Nass, boss NAD. Does this name really boss NAD?

It's boss Nass. It's boss Nass. Incredible thing about this conversation is how quickly Eota pulls the Padmaid card. You're right. There's not even like there's people dying. You've been such a good help to the. Republic. We want to help you. It's just like Padme's dying over there and we thought that that would be important to you. And the leader was like, I have to think about this because I'm

an entire leader and you're talking about one lady. And Charter is like, no, Padme would save us, which isn't true. But he's so sorry. I've never seen it. I guess is the Nouveauvindi her? She goes down there herself in the Nouveauvindi arc. That's up with the galaxy. With Asoka and a bunch of clones. Yeah, yeah. And that's not really about saving the Gungans. I mean, it does save their water supply eventually. Oh, sure.

But those are at topside Gungons. Those aren't even water gungens. So I will say, like, the thing that cracks me up here is that, one, it is so clear that, like, the Jedi's absolute last resort is to ever ask any member. group to like fight and it's like oh it's just so easy just like cook up more clones and send them out and so when they have to go make this appeal it's very clear they don't even try to play the card of like hey this is going to be a pivotal battle in this ongoing civil war the implication there is that's not going to move the gungans like this war again has no constituency outside of like a narrow group of people at the top of the republic the gungan army

is not rolling out to like stem the tide of separatism but yeah when they can make it local politics where it's like hey your buddy padmay who i agree like her interactions with the with the gungans extremely self-serving she took a need once for like 30 seconds right to like get your army to like launch a counter coup and that was it that was the last time she was like and respect between our two peoples that was that was the end but nevertheless the gungans, I got to understand where, like, the gungans are coming from, where it's like, you know what? Compared to the garbage standards of Nabu-Gungan relations, Padme is actually a pretty valuable person to have around, so we will roll out for her. And it turns out that the gungans are way better than the clone army.

Like, maybe it's unfair comparison. It's an underwater battle. They, like, they rule at this shit. But they set the clones out with their little 40K helmets and their little, like, like little underwater ski-do type things, and they just got, like, rolled. Meanwhile, the Gungan show up in one of the coolest sequences in the show where they do a fucking halo drop out of the whole of a ship

and, like, into the water, and you see them falling, like, raindrops through the sky into the water, and they show up and just, like, demolish the separates. And I'm like... And they just got sticks and bombs and gritting them blue grenades. Are they straight up? They sent them down there.

I don't think they are. If I was a clone, I'd retire after this. Right. And apparently the clone armor that they had was the only shit that they had on hand. They only have 30 underwater gears at a time to give to the clones. I guess. I guess. What is?

Mace Wendy says it's going to take multiple days to get that, to get them out. So the issue with the clone army is that the Jedi refused to make mission-specific clones. You're right. Like, they're just, like, their cookie cutter templates for units. Like, even Arch Troopers are, like, they're just better clones. But, like, the clones probably need to be, like, specializing a bit more. Some of them should have gills. Yeah.

You know what I'm saying? Webbed feet. Or some should at least. Yeah. Just be, like, little units of dudes who are like, you know what? I really rock with a little submersible vehicles. I'm really good at, like, surviving on ice planet's fighting Yeti. Like, useful skills.

But the Jedi are like, eh, clones are cool. clone. Clone to clone. Deploy them wherever. Is this what they should be doing? Sorry to interrupt. No. We had an art.

We had an arc a while back ago where they were like, we're running out of cloned DNA. And should we be doing like a, like a, like a. We should fit in mantaray DNA where Janeofetz DNA is disappearing. But not even that. Like one of those like Coke freestyle machines were like, you have Jay Gapent the base. And if you put in other races. row the clone army in the galaxy

like right now to win this war? Is this not the bad batch? Is the bad batch not about they're not all friends? I guess so. I don't know. But you could do that episode. You could do the episode where you find like a collection of clones who've been like half you know, half anthropomorphized

animal. Yeah, yeah. Propatine doesn't want to win this of war. He wants to turn clones into dinosaurs. Okay, but here's the other thing. You just made me remember something, Rob, which is imagine you're the Gunkins, right? You've done this, you come in, you save the day, you're big heroes. I bet this happens one more time in this Clone War.

I bet it at least one other time, you know, the Jedi come calling. A thing that's just so important to remember is, okay, under the Empire, I believe stuff goes bad for the Gungans. I believe the empire comes into boo and fucks up the gungan shit. Yeah, of course it does, right? Yeah, Gartre becomes a little clown. Right, yeah, yeah, we know this. This is Deep War. For the Gungens, the empire is the, are the people who called you for help in war like three years ago.

Like, I think it's super easy for us to forget that the empire and the Republic are the same institution. So imagine being a Gungan who served here on this fucking planet and was like, I died for those little squid motherfuckers and now you're going to evade my planet. I died for you. it's so wild to me how the republic becomes the end. Not wild. Like, this is what the whole thing is about. But to really get into the brain of someone who lives in this world and is like, got deployed to go do this and then has to live with the fact that the group that they are

working for turns into she's evil empire. You know, it's great. I love it. It's fantastic. It's weird the way that that's set up in this episode, though, because when you have Asoka and Kit Fisto and the Gungan's landing, or whatever they're doing the like red team blue team they are thing which was a rebel thing I bet that's a thing that's just a thing people no sure what it's like when you

when you think about how often Star Wars wants to draw the line yeah right when I initially watched it I was like oh that's empire but now thinking about it I'm like wait that's actually rebel stuff so like is it they're just repeating they're just repeating things because they're And they're like, are the good guys to say that I'm red leader, you know, or whatever, right? Like, that's just, but again, I mean, I didn't think that's based to how these episodes are not particularly interested in these larger questions of Republican Empire, you know, political meaning and stuff like that. They're mostly about helping a little boy become a little king. They do, but like for me, like, like, the way this sort of skips over this does imply an awful lot. like what like the the republic never goes asking for anyone to go like put skin in the game never right

and this time we see them do it and one it's like wow that turns out like free people with like an actual stake in this are really good at fighting this war i don't know it's just something to think about um but like two yeah it is just the way that they get completely rolled up here and how they end up having to bail themselves out uh which is via the It's not that it, so in the end, this attack doesn't, it basically works, but then there's a final Trump card that Riftamson has to play, which is, have you seen the movie Twister? He basically, so remember those big squid ships that we saw in the assault on, um, clone planet for, uh, Fortran, for, yeah, what's, no, that's not, that's not it, uh, clone planet.

It's all rainy, it's where Django, it's not Forniere Ney, eh? I'm going to take off my headphones for a second Just think Clown Planet It's all rainy It's all rainy there, Django Fet And oh my God It's rainy in the in the

It's water Camino Camino Camino Camino I am the Star Wars expert Wow The Key Blade Master and the Star Wars expert We're truly honored. But, yeah, it's, we saw these big squid ships on the assault on Camino.

Turns out they have a different mode. They can spin real fast and create an underwater cyclone that just demolishes everybody. But also doesn't? Like, mad people were just standing very, like, still in the middle of that. twister. Well, no, they were in the eye of the storm. No. I saw, I saw this motherfucker on the edge

swimming in without any problem. I swear to God. Was it a shark? It was not a shark. It was just a guy. It was just, I think it was the fucking little guy, Charlie. This, Lee Char.

This, you're talking about the scene where like, Annika. Assoca and him And Assoca and him are in the tunnel And she's like, go into the middle You'll be safe there But he's able to go from like

The blast area into the middle And it's completely fine Yes, yes It makes no sense And it even like This is another point that makes no sense To me where it's like Why do people who are breathing air

And walking around on land Keep telling this guy what to do Like there's never been like There's no storms on the the, like there's never like a tsunami upstairs and downstairs is a big storm and he should

know how this shit works like it's fine, don't worry he just has no shit about that. So the other thing that happens in this episode is yet another step in our Prince's hero's journey which is the worst thing I've seen

in Clone Wars ever which is his delivery of an inspiring speech to the prisoners And because to be clear What Rift Tamsin has revealed to the Korn is like Hey we're just going to like enslave them on Kalamari And the Korn's got the

The Korn dude is like Uh we just wanted a political settlement And he's like nope, slavery And fuck you for asking And the Korn dude's like I don't know This bodes well And spoiler it doesn't Um

But Lee Charney needs to inspire the people And what is more inspired then the young prince emerging from a stand of seaweed blowing his little conch and then being like people of Mancala

I am with you you will be free again not right now but later goodbye and everyone's like it's the prince the prince is here

yay And then they just, like, get the ship beat out of them by the guards. And, like, that's the end of that. But it seems slain the groundwork for, like, being the effective figurehead. And I was like, I think that would have backfired. Like, me just looking at that scene, I'm like, the moral authority came into that moment with. It was actually lessened, like, a minute later. I was like, here he goes.

He's going to, like, lead a riot of the prisoners and, like, free a bunch of them. No. He is going to appear in a seaweed grove. like keep his little face out peep his little face out of the seaweed grove and then disappear that's it yeah

really weak morale boost IMO I mean would have been so much cooler if that was like okay we've started okay so they fought back and there's like a small

you know resistance now we have like a couple more right if he freed a handful of them at least yeah like shout out so that would be that would be like really impressive but he just blew his little do to do horn at them and then was like okay I'll see you later like he's just so he's the most un like he's the he's the least compelling political leader I think we've seen in in all worse than when what's her face hadn't stepped up yet uh the pantoran oh yeah

Why do I Why don't I remember Nouveau Vindy and not We talk about Nubo Vindy every week We find a way to bring up Nubo Vindy every week Bring him back We want more Vindy More Vindy now What's her name?

Joni loves Chachi What's her fucking name? It's Pah Pop I'm just going to look it up It's fine, don't worry about it I know I wanted to be

the Star Wars expert again. Oh, I see. It has it like Pomona or something? It's Ryu Chuchi, it's Choochoochee. Choochee. Choochee. You were close to Shachi. I was close to Chachi.

Yeah. Anyway. But yeah, he, Lee Char is just like so uninspiring. So just like there's nothing going on here. He's giving nothing.

He's serving. Do you think part of the problem is this all happens in an hour of time that all three of these episodes basically seem to happen the same day. I know. Part of the way.

In other words, my point being, not that these episodes should be longer, but that like, in real life, what he would do to earn this would be like build a resistance over the course of a month. You know what I mean? Right.

But he would, that wouldn't occur to him. Like, these ideas are not coming to him. Like, he's not, there's never a point where he's like, yeah, there's no, in all three of these episodes, for what it's worth, there's never a point where he's like taking an action that someone else didn't tell him to do. Like, even when he's making an announcement, Assoc is standing behind him in case stuff pops off. Like, he's never, he's never like, oh, I'm going to make this move for my people because I believe in myself and I'm going to do this. and like it becomes such a weak plot point because like all of the characters are buying into this like even ducu is like you gotta go find that little boy because everything is riding on this because he's gonna be the hope to his people it's like no he isn't what is god what are you talking about i also feel like tamson could have just awaited until he did become little boy king and then just like become evil advisor and usurp him and do it that way.

I feel like Tamsin gave up the plot like way too quickly. But again, that's like my biggest problem with this is like this is the most cartoonish we've seen evil since the George Taked Merecat Napalb character. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like normally our separatist villains

are not this obvious when it comes to what they do to civilians when it's like, not obvious, but just like one note. like oh we're going to turn the whole planet into slaves to mine kelp or whatever i guess i don't i don't know what they're slaves to do uh but something and it's never set up why and ducu is never like we really need the resources buried deep under the seas of montcala do you know what i mean like there's not even a utilitarian claim here it's just a win and it's like who cares about this fucking one planet

in this war right and now in the expanded universe the way they always answer the importance of this planet is like they build the ships they're so good because they're a boat planet uh sorry but that's the thing it's always weird they're not they're all fish so they wouldn't build boats but the point is they do they build the best ships in the galaxy rob we're people we still build cars we walk around we still build vehicles to get us places faster without us fucking yeah you know what i mean really inefficient at like traversing land in a way that fish or not you know what i mean it's like i don't know if you were fish you might feel really inefficient You know what I'm saying?

We don't know what the phenomenology of a fish is. That's true. A fish might be out there and be like, damn, I wish I was faster under water. Fuck. It's fucking flippers. I need a propeller. Right. I need a propeller.

In fact, one of the, there's a character who has a walking stick. There's an underwater character who is a walking stick. And they're like, well, why would he have a walk? Like, we're trying to communicate age and seniority with this. I think it's in this third episode. And so they were like, well, what we should do is make the fish look like it's an eel. It moves, so it's a swimming aid. So it helps propel, theoretically, the person who's holding it, which I think is, like, awesome.

Like, that's the sickest idea. And it's like, yeah, they would totally have mobility aids and would totally have little vehicles to get them around. It's, you know. Yeah, that's a really good point. The ocean's big. That's the other thing. So big. We only got to walk mostly flat surfaces.

Sometimes a hill, sometimes stairs. But all the ocean, roo. That's true. I was analyzing for, like, humans is like, what's solving the immediate problem of, I can't can't swim infinitely. But if you're fish, the problem is, I can't swim fast enough or far enough. Yes, that's exactly it. So I think they probably built boats early for that reason.

And then they build... With that know-how, they build the sickest spaceships in the galaxy, even better than the big Corellian ships. Yep. And, like, so in the EU, there was always sort of... But none of that's here. None of that. There's no strategic importance to this.

It's like... Yeah. And I think that also speaks to, like, when we saw the city. and it's just kind of like a generic underwater city and like at no point does like there's no sense of geography or like location like these two cultures are intermingled they clearly can't just separate in two separate states but like there's no sense of how they live together

or like the way they coexist in this planet it's all very abstract and it makes it a really unsatisfying arc and really does reduce the stakes for it reduces it all the importance of these twists where it's like Rift Tanzan blows it by being like, ah ha ha ha, you're gonna enslave all of you now to his ally.

He still out numbers him. Yeah. Yeah. If he just doesn't enslave the quorum, he wins. Yep. Or it just doesn't tell them yet. Just like.

Yeah. Just wait till this thing is, I mean, not to be evil, but not to support evil. But if, but Tansen, I feel like,

could have just been like, yeah, Yeah, yeah, you're going to have, you know, your rightful thing or whatever. And then just loaded, you know, like, yeah, yeah, we're just, you know, putting our separatist bases here. We're just going to load this all up. And then you just become the king and take it. And then you have an entire fleet of separatist droids and stuff like that to support you. And you can do whatever the fuck you want.

I think he blew it as an evil person. Oh, for sure. for sure. And I'm with you even too that he should have just embraced the fact that the kid is really dumb and just been like, you know what.

That would have been the easiest solution. Yeah, like, because Lee Char is the most like begging to be a puppet like roller I've ever seen. Like the psychic relief that will be brought

by not ever having to make a choice just having to like sign the paper in front of him. Like this man is just dying for somebody to come along and tell him he doesn't have responsibilities for this. all he has to do just stand there in ways.

All he had to do is say, like, yeah, we'll have peace, but you have to make me the advisor and overseer between the two groups forever. And that would have been it. That's all. Easy, easy, easy, peasy. We're all so much better at being villains than Tampson, is what I'm... And why is Dukun not making these decisions?

And, like, we always see Duku in these positions, too, We're like, what he wants to do is go to a place, make people feel some stuff, and then be able to take advantage of those feelings. Like, that's Jedi shit one or one, I guess. But, like, that's always his plan. Like, they're going to be mad about this and then we're going to do this and because they're mad and it's going to work. And it's like, so you kill the king and then everyone's pissed about the little boy. And then you kill the little boy and then people are still pissed. Like, what is going on?

What step two? The, like, Clone Wars cartoon ducu is so much less interesting than the implied ducu of the movies, and that's frustrating. He get, like, here, he gets on, you see him in holograms, and it's either to psychologically abuse his closest underlings. Like, here's, here's Mad Daddy, he's been drinking, and he's on the phone. That's, that's, like, mode one. Mode two is him being like, and I'm telling you, just put the fucking boot on these people's necks right now. Don't even wait. Like, boot, neck.

Do what I'm saying. No subtlety. Yeah. And like, even in the movies, a lot of the way he operates is by sort of like masking intention or at least reframing it in his own terms. And it would be cool to see that rather than having him encourage Riftamson to just blow it here with two minutes left in the fourth quarter. We've talked about Count Dugu's being like the chess player of the separatist movement. like he's the one putting all the pieces down he's the one thinking of like wider strategy whereas palpatine is the chaos agent that like flips the board at a random point and you know

just starts a new game somewhere else not even chess now we're playing checkers um and very rarely does does that calculation come through from i feel like the the arc that we had with count dugu where he was in prison with Anakin and Obi-Wan. Our first Honda episode. Yeah. Like there was some good plotting there, some good little chess kind of chess vibes. But often, yeah, he's just the guy on the phone.

That's like the number one way we get to see him in so far. It's even like back when we have the, oh gosh. the savaggio press thing having him sort of just in this hermetically sealed world of his palace with nobody around him like it's frustrating the degree to which he is just like sealed off from the events of this cause he's leading a cause that what is implied is one of the thing that makes them effective is that they have a good sales pitch and are doing a good job of building a durable coalition the way the republic is not and there's just no vibe of that but what does have cool vibes is the giant eel torture device which is one of those things where I was like

is that what I think it is and it is it's extremely fucked up at first I was like it was a torture machine no no no no no no no no what Rift Tamson brings out to interrogate the Jedi and a comrade prisoners he's taken is like a chain like a girl like a collar that's wrapped around four freaked out giant eels you were placed in the middle of it for torture and then to torture you he just beats the shit out of the eels and the eels already freaked out it triggers their defensive response and they electrocute the person in the center uh and it's extremely fucked up and like it doesn't call a ton of attention to it but like you just stare at it and you're like that's like one of the worst devices ever because it's like four creatures being the five creatures

being tortured for like the price of one. It's it's a pure nightmare machine very fucked up very fucked up oh god and when he goes like when he does the chomp on Padme oh my god

why did he have to go mouthful mode on Padmae I need to know he tried to he had to run the clock it was it's a great strategy I think where he's like I'm gonna I'm gonna pierce this she's going to have the five minutes to live and in these five minutes

somebody's saying something like but why do you have to do it like that like he could have flicked it really hard he's a shark he's like his whole thing is about being a shark he loves being a shark and like he loves it

I really like as down as I was on these episodes I was like Rip Tamson should be like a long-term villain I agree like he should be Duke's new apprentice Oh, well. May he'll coming back after the end of this one. He's the most not coming back character we've ever seen in Star Wars.

Ever. Yeah. I thought it was Darth Mall, but apparently not. Hang on. They made like five jars. Jaws movies. They made like five Jaws movies. George Wars.

So maybe he can go back himself for him. Son of Rift Tamsin. Rift Tamsin. Yeah, yeah. Oh, give him some cyborg parts. Bring him back. Oh, my God. Cyborg, Tampson would be.

He's so fucking cool. He's going in my Hall of Fame of Dead dudes who I wish wasn't dead like that big spider guy. Yeah, the Taranch, the guy. Trench, tarantch, tarant. Is he dead?

I'm pretty, like, he died in that episode. I'm the one who's holding that. But he's died before and come back. That's what I said. That's what I said. That was four years ago. That was four, yeah, see?

But maybe this time, maybe he'll come back in four years in season seven. Also, he's good. Yeah, Riff is great. pro riff. Yeah, that whole like chomp moment was so startling because it was like, it was leaning into the fact that like,

yo, they're all animals. And it's rare that they do an animal thing in Star Wars. Like it's, sorry, I'm in Parison. One of the funny jokes in like a show like BoJack, for instance, is that they do people things, but they do animal things. It's also like the Wes Anderson movie, a fantastic Mr. Fox, where it's like human

like, it's a lot of like anthropomorphization but then also like instinctive, like iconic animal behavior sort of whipped like thrown in there generally star wars doesn't do that but yes like riff is into being a shark in a way that like other creatures are just not into being whatever like animal archetype they are and so when he just like gets in her face and with no warning lunges for her and like oh there's warning he slowly runs his clawed fingers along her her helmet in a very aggressive

way. Yeah. It's great to be evil. It's very evil. It's very evil. Anyway, don't worry. She finds a solution to that in the funniest place. It's good to have friends.

They're going to have your back? Jarja spits. Who? Who? Who? Who? What are friends for if not to spit on your face? But, okay, so this, let's set this up.

Okay, please, I'll let you handle this whole situation. Kit Pistow and Anakin are in the aforementioned eel torture chambers. Yes. Padmae is not in a torture chamber, but is like locked up in some sort of way. She's in like a, she's in like a arms spread out. Yeah. She's a claw grabber. Is there a fourth person?

Is the senator there too? Oh, Jar Jar Jar is duh. Yeah. Sorry. My bet. Come on. We have the two Jedi. Water is coming into her helmet.

it's mouth level now. Kit Fisto, who is the only person that we've seen do any force stuff underwater. I was thinking this the whole time. I was like, you're underwater, you're in the force, you should be grabbing the helmet. I don't know how you can't do this.

You should be force pushing the water. So all of the like drone guys just go that way. Like what is happening? What is going on? Anyway, Kit Fistow is like, we can move the water around her helmet to create air around her face. We just have to think about it really hard

and we didn't think about it until now. Sure. They do that. Anakin gets hurt by one of the eels or something. And then there's like in the point two seconds that he's looking away, Jar Jar Big Spits like a big luggy on two. bad vase helmet which seals which seals the hole and is like visible

there it gets through the bubble yeah uh huh yeah yeah yeah this is a power for sure why don't you ever see yeah he's like you know it's gungin waterproofing that's why we can swim so well and then there's a zoom in on kit fido's face where he's like yeah wait does the judge actually say that yeah he says it's a gunggan waterproofing so why we say swim so good.

So what do they do before they get in the water? Are you just spitting all over each other? Cinesuses freak me out. I have like a legitimate sinusophobia, but is it like do you like There's no idea

Is there like a little sack? Do you like Orgian sack that like has the waterproof? Right. Or is it like Hocking a Lugie? I think it's like Can you like seal the like upper part of your face with your own

But then you got rid of the boogers, you know what I mean? No, you got to breathe through there. I guess you don't, I don't. But the point was, it's waterproofing. So now what that begs me to ask, but, okay, there's two points. It's one waterproofing and two, swimming good. What constitutes swimming good? Going fast, swimming for a long time?

Like, is this like, just like they're getting lubed up with their own? thing and that gives them like speed abilities to swim fast or is it are they creating some sort of mucous layer that like allows them to retain oxygen for longer I don't understand it is this what they use in their buildings to like like is there's a crack in a gungan window is it just everyone's this is the strat everyone knows this I want to say While you're looking this up Jar Jar Biggs has a better fit

To go underwater to save Padme Than he does go into the Senate He looks so good He has like a A scuba suit that also looks like Like a just like a nice night out suit I need to remind myself Of what this looks like

He looks like a cool assassin Yeah I think that that's right That feels right to me The water is where he shines Yeah Yeah, I'm trying to find There is a source

That I don't know that I trust I need to confirm it with my own two eyes That says if this is a legend source An EU source This is a Star Wars role-playing game supplement That was published in 2003 So a while ago Way pre-Disney

That says that they do in fact Seal their situation up With the mucus And that's why they are able to swim better because of it it's not about looming it's about it's about it's about like how you wear a swim gap and shave so you can swim faster you keep talking let's resist it i guess is there not a this isn't a searchable pdf unfortunately so i'm just gonna struggle here just trust me they They block up their own shit with, with, uh, goo.

Yeah. And that lets them be able to breathe underwater. But the Wikipedia also just says that they have good lungs, which I didn't realize. They're not an aquatic species. They're an amphibious species. So they're holding their breath. How are they talking? Yeah, this makes no fucking sense.

I'm looking at Jar Jar Jar right now. He has nostrils. You tell me, I don't see mucus on him. I'm looking at him. Where is it? It's in him. Right. He's just like, you know, in Star Wars world, what is the most powerful way you can be amphibious?

You can breathe equally well in water or air. Yeah. And that's just, now, so why do they have their cities remove the water? I don't know. They just like it. They just like it. Are they underwater in those cities? They're just in the, they're in little bubbles, right?

Yeah, they're in bubbles. So they're not actually underwater in the same way. Why would you call these people? You just ask them to hold their breath and fight a war for you? They swim like crazy, though. They do. But Jarger's in that chamber for so long. Just chill and talking, breathing.

Like, I'm so confused. But this, okay, so this is also a fact that because we're seeing two different underwater races, right? Underwater, domes, underwater, tubes, tube-based. cities. The Mont Kalamari people have tubes full of water. The Gungans have tubes with the water removed.

Am I correct on this? Yeah, I guess so. I think that adds up. Gungan names consist of a given name, a given name and a surname taken from the father's side, though a Gungan wife retains her own father's surname, even after marriage. The meanings of Gungan names and Gungan

surnames are rarely linked, and because of the regular contact that Gungans have had with Naboo over the centuries, Gungan meanings have become mingled with basic words. Gungens select given names for their offspring based on the names of friends, relatives, or even just famous figures. Note that names based on the heroes of the Battle of Nabu became quite popular immediately after the event, Obi, Quigon, a misspelling of Jedi Quigon Jin. Annie and Ruger, boss Nass's given name, are popular names for male Gungan children, and Amy or Amidali, another misspelling, are popular for female Gengen children. The name Jar Jar never becomes terribly popular.

To generate a Gungan name, roll once on either Table 420 or 421, depending on whether the character's male or female. Then roll once on Table 422 to generate a Gungan family name. There's nothing here about nostrils. They're dragging Jar Jar Jar even in the source book. Even in the source book. Like in the Gungin Baby Boom, where everyone is naming their kids after the heroes of of the battle of

Jar Jar's Fields or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everybody give me two numbers from one to 100. Oh, are we rolling on this 420 chart? We gotta see. We gotta see. I want to know your Gunnian names. Oh, are we? 21 to 100?

1 to 100. So you're rob. What was yours? 2284. 2284. 22 is your first name. You want that? Yeah. Okay. Faddo? Which means arrives early, and then 84. Tarples, Fado Tarples.

Tarples means fast-moving river. Tar-P-H-R-P-A-L-S, Tar-P-A-L-S, Tar-P-A-L-S, tarpals, tarpals. All right, yeah. That's your Gunkin name. Love it. I need numbers. Nice to meet you. Give me 24-89.

24-89. 24-89. 24 in women's names. Feph, which means sugar True And then TENCO F F-T-T-O-T-N-K-O Sharp weapon

Ooh, sugar Oh, that's good F-F-E-F-F-F-O-L-S I'm like an extremely good Destiny gun Like it's called F-Tenco And then you read the Description

and it's about two lovers who fucking snipe together or some shit 100% Shout out Where are you said going Natalie Um

4269 Oh, okay 4269 Of course Your K-U-T-S-I Which means Dark-Colored ear flaps Considered boyish among Gungens

So that again K-C-C-C-E-N-N-N-E-N-N-T-E-N-N-E-N-S-E-N-S-E-S-E-9, right? Yes. yeah please uh ross which means hunter gatherer could see ross could see ross could see ross not betsy rossed that i want to change my first name wow and my last name

this is your fake name what about what about 6942 what's that one i will see the other way here that's radasa which means twirling radasa that's kind of nice Radasa hoaxi Hoxi H-O-X-I-E means Meaning unclear, archaic Literally, laughing king

may refer to some sort of court jester O-D-4 H-O-X-I-E which means H-O-X-I-E A laughing king So I can either be a twirling little jester or I can be

a little t-he-he-he-he-he or I'm a flappy A flappy eared Something I figured the last one meant Me too I'm Betsy Ross Yeah you're Betsy Ross It was like a boyish hunter right Oh Hunter Gatherer

That's not bad I like the hunter gatherer that one's cool I'm gadneck which means blessed And I'm gonna roll again Gadneck Oh, 88. That's a bad one. Tenko. Oh, we already got this. This is

a sharp weapon again. Oh. I'm going to re-roll. I don't want to be the same. Wait, I was 89. Yeah, but it's ranges. It's not 100. Okay, yeah. Sadly. 23. Dopp, which I mean skilled Diver. That's not great.

Gadnik Dopp. Yeah, you know what? I'll roll with it. It's fine. I'll live with it. All right. That's it. There's nothing in the section about Gun Gets. Nostles. Well, we're all glad it was there. You didn't know you needed it until you did. You're right.

And you know what else we needed? A prince leading his people to free. Well, a prince going to meet his people in their hour of need in their prison camp and then getting booked immediately by the cops and dragged off to an audience with the occupation authorities. But because Riff Tampson has not shut the fuck up about his obviously evil plan. when Lee Char talks to Nasiris

Nasiri Nasirai This is the thing It's Nasser And then Rye And that's kind of hard You kind of lose it In the mouth

Nassar Rai He basically tells him Dude like read the writing on the wall Look at the Look at where this is headed And he's marched off to an execution I do enjoy when the execution is about to happen And Jar Jar Jar talks to one of the evil, like, the robots.

He's like, where are you taking us? And the robots like to witness the execution. It's like, that was really polite. I think it was nice of the robot to like just sort of giving that heads up. But let me a little twist that this is public execution because it's not secure just by robots and shark people. It's also got a ton of Korin who are about to defect because Nasirai has been convinced by Lee Char. Although again, not really. Nassarai could see which way this was going.

So, like, Lee Char didn't even really do that. But, like, we're going to give him this W. That's how the show's going to go, where it's like, wow, you really made a compelling case about the obviously evil shark that was about to start. And so, they spring

their trap, and a huge brawl happens. It's all hand-to-hand fighting. The Republican Force is getting the better of it, and Rift Ham just decides I'm going to kill everything in my path. He has a little bit of a frenzy. And it's the first time he's done this. He's had those little like little devices on him the entire, the entire arc.

I wonder what those are. Yeah, what are those are those? The spike grenades. He is jamming them into people and like strapping bombs to people as he just moves through. And like he does it to a bunch of quoran gungens, just jams. just jams it in and they're all like oh no and then they all blow up behind him as he makes his way to Lee char it's fucked who then they're also beat the shit out of yeah go ahead but he can also use them to call like drones in right or drones fuck clones fuck uh droids

I guess so like isn't there an instance where he's like he he peep and then like a bunch of droids come swimming in? Anyway, I think they're multi-purpose, but they're, I think... They're just... Yeah. They're just technological devices that happen to also carry bombs. They're like iPads or iPod iPhones with a spike and a bomb inside of it. Yeah.

Yeah, something like that. We, a episode ago, it felt like they didn't want to show people dying, and now we're seeing people just get exploded. And I feel like, I feel like this is the wrong sort of grown up. Do you know what I mean? I didn't want the episode. I don't want the episode where people are getting, like, exploded graphically. I want the episode where any of these ideas are treated with seriousness.

And that is not what we got. So it is sick when he does do it. Yeah. And then he has the final showdown with Lee Char, right? Yeah. He beats the shit out of a child. Uh-huh. And Leechard can take it, I guess.

It's pretty impressive. I mean, maybe the Mon Calamari bodies are, like, nice and squishy, so they just, like, absorb damage. The head proves to be tougher than I thought. I thought it would just collapse inward, yeah. I, yeah. Here's the, I hate this resolution so much because all it is, the whole of it is the two of them fight while he's beating up Lee Char. Leachar, I guess, grabs one of those, the rifles, knife bombs. Well, he grabs the rifle, but he also grabs the knife bomb, the spike bomb, and doesn't stick him while they're in close quarters combat.

Just from like 10 yards away, he throws it at at Tampson, who has been just physically. You know, an incredible talent in combat. Just like super agile, super strong, super aware. And he just doesn't dodge it. He just gets hit with it in the shoulder. Can't pull it out for some reason despite being super strong. And that be his shit, right? Like, that's his equipment.

He should know that shit in and out. Yeah, he probably has. He must have a safety or like, like, I'll hold the pin. Like, I don't know. No, he doesn't. So he charges at Leachar to be like, well, if I'm going to blow up, you're going to blow up with me. and Lee Char shoots the grenade

so that it blows up before it gets to him. He misses like six times and then... He does miss like six times. And then he shoots it and the dude blows up into a billion pieces including his head

which gruesomely floats away with its eyes all whited out. And then the porins and then a bunch of other characters pop up from around him and they're like, we did it! The day is saved! It's very grim.

Oh my God, I didn't even realize that was his head. That's his head. I guess there's like some problem with liability that it's separated. But it's, that's his head. He's like, chunks of him are floating through the fucking water.

That's so fucked up. Okay, yeah. Now I understand why you were like, I don't think he's coming back. Yeah. I think he's dead, dead. Dude. It's part of what they're doing with RIF

though, right? Where they're like trying to have their cake and eating it too in terms of like having him be this political figure and he's talking to duku and whatever and then they're also having these like really like monster movie beats with him where like asoka and the prince are in the tunnel and he's like doing the like extreme shark thing and like trying to break the glass by swimming into it and then like we defeated the monster yeah even though he's like a guy like he's he's an evil villain who's trying to slave people but yeah

I yeah yeah and then everyone just like hyped long was the prince everyone's hype he did it there's a crowning ceremony

there's a crowning ceremony that has him there's some shit that there's a thing that happens here that I think I hate which is I think it's Minatil the the Montal we just learned about before is like your father would be so proud

and his response to that is I know and it's not cute don't just say Just say thank you. Just say thank you. When someone says your recently murdered father would be so proud, you don't have to be like a big shot. You're a hot solo.

Yeah. Not everybody's hot solo. People can't just be saying. And that has a particular context between two people who had a back and forth about how she is like, have I explained this on this podcast, my reading of that sequence. The I know sequence not being the thing that people think it is. Everyone thinks that that's a. sequence in which Han Solo is being too cool for school, is being like indifferent and being like,

yeah, I know. I'm not going to say, I love you back. Watch that fucking movie and pay attention to their relationship tonight. That whole movie is him being like, you want to, you want to kiss me real bad, don't you? And she's like rolling her eyes and being like, get away from me. You smell bad. I'm not into you at all. And so thinking that he may be about to die, she runs over and is like, I love you, like desperate to say this before he disappears, maybe forever from her life. And what he communicates back to her is like, you didn't need to tell me that. I already knew how you felt about me. Like, don't, don't stress. And, like, that to me is so much better than this indifferent, like, devil-may-care attitude that people think Han Solo has. He's extremely

tuned into what she is feeling at the time, which is regret. That was 100%. I don't fucking love Hans-Sov. He's great, 100%. And, like, it's infuriates me the way that that gets played. Anyway, likewise, this little kid should have known better than to tell this woman who probably just lost a friend of hers. Obviously, it's also his dad. I know. I know he'd be proud. And he says it in like, he doesn't say, I know. He goes like, I know. But like, fuck,

I just don't like Le Charmer. No, it's still got a little bit of a like, I know. Like, there's a little bit of it in there. It's such a weird response. His dad must have low standards then. Because Lechard didn't do shit. Well, like, people keep saying

this shit to him. And it's like, we've been hitting this drum of like people trying to put this kid on a pedestal but like even even when like they have to retreat the first time and uh admiral akbar is like your dad would be really proud of you and he's like no he wouldn't be we've lost the battle and akbar is like no no I mean you're alive and that's why he'd be proud of you which question mark so like is it supposed to be a turning of like oh now I accept my duty he is king and I accept my father's feelings about me I know that he would be proud It's like, no.

Nothing happened. There was like no progression of this character that like, by the end of it, I'm like, okay, yeah, he should be king. If anything, I feel like the prince is on, is just started his villain arc. Like, he's seriously giving like evil little king vibes towards the end of that. Like, he just blew someone into smithereens and is now the boy. king of a whole planet

and like in his just like his kind of his his irreverent attitude in this like final scene it just gives me

like I don't know I could just see him becoming really evil he's in a bunch of the Darth Vader comic apparently but not ever again in Clone Wars will never again be on Clone Wars and also I'm looking at his

the wukipedia for him has his dying quote which I guess I guess it doesn't go great I guess he's pro rebels which I was hoping that he would secretly be like down with the empire you know like down with the empire not like down with the empire no no yeah yeah I yeah that's the thing when Darth Vader come through and be like remember when I saved your ass like remember when you were like a tiny little boy the day that you became king

me and my crew were there to like make sure that that happens do people know it's time for you to watch my do people know that Darth Vader is Anakin otherwise people would have broken that to Luke probably people would have been like yeah oh yeah

this is the Obi-Man thing he knows and he's watching the news every day and he's like what the fuck that's my bro yeah that's fucked up Imagine if your bro was doing some... You're in a little cave and you deal with this every single day. Like, I can't think about Obi-Wan. And you're looking after his...

Well, we're going to learn that Obi-Wan's doing some other shit. Sure, yeah. I'm worried about that show. The fact that Vader's in that show, I'm not... Oh, and that, like, one of the, like, pre-like headlines about it was, like, they're going to fight three times. Like, don't tell me this. And don't, I don't want it to happen.

I don't want them to interact. it's important that Obi-Wan hasn't seen Vader for decades by the time yeah maybe there's I was just going to say maybe they like de-age them both a bit

and it's like not too long after the Clone Wars I think the Star Wars TV shows need to lean further into just the non-stop wins they're posting by de-aging actors artificially it's such a nightmare

so good. The influences are affecting. They are, like, dynamic. They're not creepy. The voices especially are just, they nail it. It's just, it's perfect. It's like, wow. We should record that Boba Fad episode sometimes soon.

Unrelated in this conversation. Anyway, getting back onto the Jedi and back on into the underwater zone that we're in, we've been spoken about Asoka at all. And, like, Asoka's a huge part of the third episode because it's like just, she's like so much a part of the push to like give him his confidence she says at one point this is like a this is a last conversation of the episode which is should be special should have important things happen and she like very she like holds his hand and very like importantly says to him if you make decisions out of fear you're more likely to be wrong like that means anything

and like i guess that's true and like that's part of being a Jedi but that's that's something you read in like a fucking like weird like self help book that's like the epigraph at the top of the episode crowns are inherited kingdoms are earned

oh shut the fuck up you know how you know that about bullshit because if you flip it it still sounds exactly as good and makes just as little sense like it doesn't like either one you either way you frame it is a statement with no meaning it just has a pleasing rhythm

um they're all they're all bad Every single one of these is bad. The entire arc here, for me, is like, I was thinking about there's an all-time retweet from Jackson Tyler, head falls off on Twitter. Me. I am fundamentally opposed to the monarchy in the church.

History is a record of their atrocities. My therapist, that's fair. Me. But I love it when the chosen king reclaims his divine sword and leads his army in glorious battle. My therapist, who doesn't? this story needs to do that like we all know this shit is bad

but we're all willing to ride with it if it's cool if the like Cali Young Prince is a compelling character like fuck it he does rule because he's got that bloodline and he's gonna be a good king I just watch Escafone

Escafalon they have a whole like the wild bloodline has to go fight a dragon if it goes bad I guess we're fucked anyway good luck little dragon born child and you're like yes King Van oh pull it off I hope this tween can like really learn to kill a bunch of people

and like bring back his kingdom and it totally works because he's good character his arc is good and you just kind of don't care about the fact that like maybe finalia should be a democracy who gives a shit the dragon thing the dragon thing tossed up King Von that's all you need

their political problems are solved for like 20 years uh-huh this guy they're not like I don't give it 20 minutes before fucked up shit starts happening. And, like, you just don't like it. You don't like to spend time with him. Like, if, if it was like, it's everybody who's like, we have to protect the prince, it's not just that, like,

he doesn't seem like a compelling character. It's like, oh, being tasked to be his bodyguard is such a bummer. You're going to spend this entire mission just hanging with the biggest bummer. Like, it's so bad to be, like, keep Prince Lee Char safe. Do I have to? Do I have to? Couldn't I would really, couldn't I go? like lead the forlorn hope against the separatist position, I would really rather than do that

than hang with this kid. Why haven't we talked about Asoka? Because those conversations are all bummers. It's all her being like trying to talk this guy up who like there's nothing to say. He's like, I don't know. I feel like shit. Well, you should. It made like a really big like Jedi aren't shit thing click for me because in the last Q&A we were like talking about like season three Asoka stuff and what do we want for Asoka? And I was like, I hope that what we get from it, like, Asoka keeps, like, hanging out with princes.

And, like, we, I hope we get the shoe drop on that as, like, what is her life of, like, having the power that she does and fighting a war and seeing these people in positions of power and being, like, these people suck. But, like, as boilerplate as this episode is, this is what fucking being a Jedi is.

You fucking go to a place. You're like, listen, your majesty. We're not going to use our political power wig, wig, to make you look better in this situation or clearly take your side or, you know, use our magic super powers to, like, swing the tides here. Okay, we've done that. Have a good time ruling.

And, like, that's what Assook is doing. She's, like, doing by the book Jedi shit. It's, yeah. Yeah, it's, I will say that she's fighting well. I love to see her doing good fighting, but, yeah, it's like, it's a weak-ass Jedi on Rando Planet vibe. For me, it's like, you're totally right. It was a pretty arc.

I was like, this is a fun, pretty cartoon playing out in front of me, but like, one of, like, pretty uninteresting. and like it's they just didn't like usually they can find something with some of the characters they introduced that just doesn't end up happening here yeah I mean that's

you know that's the start to season four kind of a rock this is this is like the most early season in terms of its storytelling even though I think it's visually has some really stunning moments

I don't think any of it rises to how well how good the stuff at the the um whatever the trans ocean arc where we called was um uh because that stuff is just so gorgeous i think the lighting effects here are nice and all of that but again you really get why they wanted to close off that last season with that asoka arc here i just we're gonna remain in this there's going to be more and more of this stuff i'm sure where we get the separatists on one side and the republic on the other and they're using a third party as a proxy like that is something that's been in the show from the beginning and and it's it's the much more of

that um 1980's vision of i mean it's not the 1980s vision it is it is this happens during the cold war and so i get that it's material for for people to turn over in their heads and turn in the stories you know i'm a storyteller i veer into that stuff often too but the thing that you have to do when you do it is to make both sides at least seem like they have objectives and seem like they have some sort of through line as to what they're doing in

this place um and the separatists just don't have that here out outside of vague territorial gain, but, like, you just have to make your villains have some sort of depth. And the show is really good when it does that, and I feel like it just wasn't doing it here. It's like Falunia left the Avatar series before they did that stuff with the Fire Nation, right? Like, it's, like, where Avatar, I think what elevates Avatar is when they finally, like, you know, the first half of the series is basically being on the run fleeing on the, like, frontiers of, fire nation imperialism. The end of that series is going into like the belly of the beast and discovering it's all really weirdly normal there. And like seeing how the world looks from that perspective, this show's not interested in doing that. And every time it has

an opportunity, it like kind of shrinks from it. Here's on both sides is probably the closest we come. And we get like, you know, a 10 minute glimpse of what's happening sort of across the lines. Last thing I wanted to say, by the way, also I feel like they did the same thing with Akbar that they did with Tarkin where it's like here's a character and he's just kind of an icon or puppet and it's like you can totally miss like I have a hard time explaining why is Admiral Akbar cool I don't know he's the he's the Admiral in charge of the Republic Fleet at Endor and like he has a it's a trap line it's cool but people are like on some level interested in that character and want to know more like with Tarkin they just have no idea how to like

there's no direction they're going with him. that. He's got less than Tarkin. Yeah. We at least can be mad at the Tarkin characterization, but like the Akbar characterization here is that he says it's an attack once, and he encourages his prince to become a king.

And it's like, all right, bye. He says that's impossible, right? Isn't that another quote? Does he? Yeah, sure. The old Akbar soundbite. Anyway. Yeah. Should we

leave it there? All right. Yeah. What do we? Okay, we have to decide a thing next time. I think we don't have to decide a thing maybe. Is it just the next three episodes? I think it's next two.

It's not because here's the thing. The next one is a standalone and then four and four is a standalone and then five and six are a duo. So on Wikipedia, it's a two-episode arc about the droids having an adventure together. Yeah, that starts at episode five. We have to do episode four first. Oh, okay. So it's going to be four, five, six? It's to be four, five, six.

Four is a Jar Jar Jar-Jank's gun gunman. Yeah, so we'll do the next three. Oh, before we finish this episode, I want to put a soak on the drip list. Everybody had bad helmets, but she had like a cool one that like, she did. Like clicked onto her face in between her face and the horns that we were talking about last time. Yeah. And I just want to point that out before we leave it. It's a good look.

It's a good look. I like it a lot. She looked great. So the next three episodes That is Shadow Warrior Mercy Mission and Nomad droids And I got to tell you

I think we're in for a doozy Because the The next one is a Jar Jar Jar Binks episode And the next two ones after that are 3PO and R2 So Let's go Get these guys out of here I was

I want to admit That when I was looking through The episode list On the season four I like went through on the Disney Plus menu to like look at the episode descriptions for the rest of the season. We've got some stuff coming up. I know.

They're very brief descriptions. Listen, the next, the two arcs after this next arc both go hard. And that's it. Again, I know I've said this a bunch, but we're almost at the cutoff point for me, which is this season, which is three episodes from now, three podcast episodes from now. That's wild. Wow. I can't wait to get into new territory.

I'm stoked No more princes Yeah so I think Watch the Gungan episode That's just my rule No more princes in general Get rid of him You have a prince or two

So yeah we'll be back In two weeks' time to discuss the next three episodes Yeah I'm going to say we should prepare for hijinks That's if I was putting If I were a betting man I would say there's going to be a lot of it's going to be a hijinks forward

set of episodes that we're in for however next week Patreon backers will get to hear us talk about the book of Bobafat I think we've all wrapped up the series or just about and we have barely said a word about it to each other so I am

really excited for this next Patreon episode if you'd like to hear that or just support the show you can do so at patreon.com slash civilized Natalie what do you posting in the chat. Yeah, what's going on here? What's going on here?

I don't know. I just found someone that only... That only... I just found someone that makes Assoca's out of other... Out of other... Oh, my God. Other...

Oh, sure. It's just, it's like there's Moncal, Asoka. It's Asoka's body with a Moncal head. It's Asoka's body with a Rodeon head. It's an Asoka body. I don't know what. What does all the lines? It's the guy who runs the, um...

Oh, is that a Watt? That's a, um... Oh, Kunt Tambor. Wado. Wado. Wado, yes. Ripped to King Ketunko. Yes.

The Trandotians. Nope. That's the lizard people who hunt. Dead it! The Toy Datorians. Toy Daryans. Toy Daryans. Yeah.

Is that it, what if Asoko was a Yoda species? Yeah. that top one damn she grinning she out here having a good time i love yoda osoka yota osoka might be my favorite of these i think it's i really i really like yon gogatosaoka gunga soka's good too where'd you find these natalie um i was i looked up uh kit vista mon calamari and then i clicked and then instead something came up that says mon cali how about a mon calomori or Chis Asoka. Wait, they got a Chis Asoka?

Oh, hold on. Let me go to the Tumblr. I see it here. I see it here. I see it. Now, Rob's in. See something else here. Oh, there's a whole thread on Twitter.

All right. Here we go. Here we go. Yeah, let's credit the artist here. Let's credit the artist. It's Lido Scrawls. L-E-T-O-S-C-R-A-W-L-S. I made Star Wars characters into,

I'm sorry, I made a Star Wars into the Asoka-V-E-U-U-U for no particular reason other than I love Asoka with my whole heart. We got Wookie Asoka. We got Chis Asoka. We got Iwok Asoka. Chis Asoka is just Harley Quinn. There is a Harley Quinn vibe there. I really like

Dathemerian Asoka. Yeah, with the horns. That's pretty good. What's Hondo species called? We got one of those. Are they Wequay? Wequay pirates? Yeah, they are. Oh, we got a Pantoran Asoka. Damn. Pantoran

Assoca is kind of serving it. Yeah. Yep. I... Got them Afro puffs. I like this lot. I like that a lot. Is one of these just human Asoka?

Yeah, it is. It's human Asoka. Yeah, two variations of human Asoka. I really love... I really love Yoda, Yoda Asoka a lot. That's very good. She's so cute.

I'll post some of these in the episode description. Which, by the way, if you go to the website, If you go to a more civilized age.net and click on the episode description, I think you'll be able to see all the images I post. Someone messaged us on Patreon. It would be cool if you posted some images in the show notes. And I was like, I've been doing that for us since episode one. I just don't know that it shows up if you just look at your phone. Sorry.

Natalie posted smiling. Oh, you found a smiling fist. That's how I got to. to all these Assocas is I was trying to find some thirst gifts of Kid Fisto

and Hey why did they call Kid Fisto species Well because they don't live nearby Oh right They did say that

Right And maybe they don't have Standing Army They were looking at The whole map Yeah Or do you think Kid Fisto is like

Can you not call my dudes I would like it If my cousin's didn't Yeah Look, that whole species is super busy with their planet-wide shirts and skins Beach volleyball league. Season runs 365 days a year.

You can't really, like when it's running, you can't really ask them to deploy. They just got to keep surviving. Is the planet that comes up in Jedi Lost? I don't think it is. It must be a different one. It'd be sick if it was this one. Oh, also later coming to the Patreon.

We've got to do that one sometime soon. All right. We need to go. It's happened. So yeah, once again, next week, Book of Boba Fett. Check it out. Go back us at patreon.com. So civilized.

I'll give you access to those Patreon episodes. They're a lot of fun, and that's where we're going to talk about Book of Boba Fett. Until next time, please rate and review us on your podcast platform of choice. Remember, the episodes are sometimes weak, but a more civilized age brings it no matter what, right? You can agree. You can agree. This wasn't a strong set of episodes, but we still five stars. We're still five stars.

with the episodes. I believe that. That's my, that's my thinking. Anyway, just remember, we're going to need a bigger king. Wow. It's just because of jaws. It's just because of jaws. I don't know. I'm going to be. I don't know. I'm going to be able to be. We... ...hean...

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