A New Untold Story - 20 Days In Bangkok - A New Untold Story: Ep. 357

Episode Date: August 17, 2023

Pilar joins the pod to review some merch (visual pod for first 39 mins), KB delivers an unreal heat check & unveils plans for a solo trip, Nick finally interviews Quagmire, Mook calls his mom, and Rudy Zooms in from heaven. 0-39: Pilar Merch Submissions 39-End: Podcastin' Link to Quagmire pod - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAYU-7u43p4 Ads: Gametime - Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code UNTOLD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply) BetterHelp - A New Untold Story is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/NEW today to get 10% off your first month. HelloFresh - Go to https://HelloFresh.com/50anus and use code 50anus for 50% off plus free shipping! Rough N Rowdy - Witness every second of the action by ordering now on BUYRNR.COM or buy the PPV on YouTube for the 1st time everYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, A New Untold Story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad-free on Amazon Music. A New Untold Story, episode 572. Wait, wait, real quick. Yeah. Rudy to clap as well. Rudy to clap as well. Ready?

Three, two, one. Clap. That good? That's your reply to what I'm going to say. No, you're just going to say, no, that's A New Untold Story. Is that good? it's a fresh big untold story a new untold story a new untold story episode 5 70 72 no episode 357 i swore we were in the fives. No, you didn't. 357 is not an area code. We've been in an area code doldrum. And we'll revert back to one today. But 357 is a model of handgun. Yeah, that's right.

Now, if you will, I'll bow your heads in steadfast memoriam as I read a lengthy list of American children who were tragically shot dead. Oh, Kyle. No, Kyle, dude. By a Smith. Isabella. No, stop it, dude. No. No, dude. This is so.

Shot dead in 2000. Stop, Kyle. Dreamt of being the first female vice president of Southwest Airlines. Madison Eubanks, nine. Manassas. Nobody wants to hear this. This is really sad. Maude Apatow,

my lengthy, my fucking abs. Okay. That was a joke. Were those real names? Those were not real names. You just said Maude Apatow. So I got too ambitious with the list

and Maude Apatow spotted at Jack's wife, Frida with Glenn Quagmire. You can get to that later. We're here with Pilar at jack's wife frida with glenn quagmire you can get to that later uh we're here with polar she's gracing us with her uh presence for the first little section of this to do uh more t-shirt reviews uh sorry for the audio listeners we'll try to be as descriptive as possible before we get into that uh today's episode is brought to you by Game Time. Kyle? The Eagles featuring Steely Dan. My parents are getting their dream vacation in their early 60s because of me,

because of Game Time, because of the discount that afforded me to buy them that gift. I use Game Time with Rudy to go to the preseason Bears game. And boy, preseason football games worth every penny yeah but i wasn't spending too many pennies it's fine you're seeing guys that might be cut the best

football players still in the world playing these are front of your eyes playing for their careers it's the modern day coliseum um but anyway yeah game time created by fans for fans it's possible to get any ticket you need and want with the game time app uh the biggest last minute price drops can be found on the seats you thought you could never buy skip the hassle and enjoy the moment download game time or go to the website enter your email and redeem code untold u-n-t-o-l-d for 20 off your first purchase terms do apply untold polar yep welcome back thanks for having me. This is probably the this is definitely the last one before we move away.

Yeah, I'm really sad. Are you guys excited to move to Chicago? Very excited. You're sad. What? What are you doing? I'm talking to the mic. There you go. Okay. What did you say to us before we started recording? I don't know. Something

about MOOC's really good idea. Oh don't know something about mook's really good idea oh yes what was mook's really good idea it's a really good idea what could this be it's like alexander's really good day yeah so we've had a site-wide sale for the past two days on the barstool store 20 off it's over now it's over now um but mook had the idea great idea yesterday to turn the until this bitch shirt back alive idea not my idea nick's idea did mook claim my idea did mook claim my idea level good idea you couldn't even get to that no let me take a moment it was selling like wildfire why was it taken off the store nick came up with the idea because it stopped selling and we have to keep the store

clean for skew productivity did it restart for skew productivity right um it did i believe yesterday ended the day selling over 50 units does that just mean 50 shirts yes oh okay yeah we don't unit unit was a bundle of shirts. Yeah, I thought one unit was 100. 50 is a lot. 50 more. For that shirt, it's a good shirt, though. Did you guys just hear that siren?

Yeah. Okay. What? Yeah, of course. It was loud. You're the furthest from it. I don't have my text with Mook anymore. What?

Oh, wait, I found it. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You don't have his number saved? No, I have it saved. Okay, okay. Oh. Did you say, good. You don't have his number saved. No, I have it. Okay. Okay. Oh, did you say good idea, Mook? And he said, thank you. I said, or he said, hey, Polar, it's Mook.

Any chance we can get the until this bitch shirt up for the 20% off sale? Think people would buy it. I said, even though you put my name on the internet. Yeah. Oh, she wasn't happy with you. And then I said, tell them it's only available during the sale. So also by the time this comes out, it won't be on the site anymore. Gone forever. We'll have some new ones potentially. And then I hyped's only available during the sale. So also by the time this comes out, it won't be on the site anymore. Gone forever.

We'll have some new ones potentially. And then I hyped up his promo for the sale. Oh, his promo was good. Okay. No, it was a good idea. Not my idea. No, I brought it up, but I would have never thought to text you. Why?

You're a mean texter. I'm not. I don't think so. Okay. Anyways, let's get into these. How many can we put? So the last one we did we asked for kyle face i never got a great picture of kyle's face so we couldn't make it so that's my one thing is if we want to make shirts from these what do you mean we need like usable artwork yeah we have i have it all perfect what do you mean a great

face it was too low resolution that's that's the point of it but it was like it was too low like it wasn't would have just been like a beige shirt with like a couple squares okay that would have been awesome but like if people saw it from afar it would look like kyle no yeah okay um well these we're more excited about have you you seen any of these, Kyle? I've only have heard about them. Okay. That's alarming. Something happened, Mook.

Hey, we're getting there. Wait a minute. Something good. So what we're about to see, from what I know, is the BDDB, the black. Well, some of them. Some, some, some. Yeah. And are you familiar with what I'm about the BDDB the black some some some yeah and are you familiar with what I'm about to say your face has become a reaction on the discord

you can react with your face which is crazy because you're like if you're I have a private Instagram I don't know how people found you oh what screen just like glitched out Rudy are you thank you for joining us from, I guess, heaven.

I guess. Wait, my mic. I guess. Rest in peace to Rudy. My mic keeps cutting out. That is. We can't have the TV and the mic going at the same time. Where'd your pores go?

I don't know. I think I did almost die last week. I almost accidentally suicided. So think i did almost die last week i almost accidentally suicided so maybe i did actually die accidental suicide is just dying what you do i was taking my vitamins and i guess that i must have bumped my stove and for about four hours i was trying to sleep and just felt really weird turns out i was the weird feeling was dying and you turn your stove on unintentionally yeah do you think that since you're in a handicapped equipped apartment um unit that it it just requires a hand clap or a

a motion sensor to turn it on i don't know I think it must have been them being lower and my hip hitting it. Not totally sure. But then my entire apartment filled with gas. My windows were fogged. Nothing fucking works in this fucking office. Sorry, we're working on this television. Especially the people. Is that why you're moving to Chicago?

I mean, we can't have an HDMI that works that works what the fuck oh wait mook is back except yeah it's back mook i'll just be really gentle yeah why don't you put your laptop flat on your lap okay all right so we have the new untold submissions pilar i'd like to apologize for the technical difficulties. Don't apologize. First up, we have the Polish collection. As you know, Kyle came out as Polish. A couple weeks later

he said that he's not Polish at all. As a matter of fact, fuck Poland. It's a three shirt bundle okay uh it comes with perfectly polish yeah i lied about being polish and i don't give a fuck and then just a not polish who made this i don't know that's amazing so it's a three shirt bundle okay so you have to so that's already three units when you buy one right yeah and then you it's

like for people to prank like you walk in it's like damn i didn't know you're polish i'm like yeah i'm proud of it yeah and then you wear that the next day i lied about being polish and i don't give a fuck and then they're like okay weird and then just for the rest of the time for the rest of your days you wear not just to firmly cement that they have been successfully praying yeah yeah it's like okay wow and yeah what do you think has anybody ever sold a three shirt bundle before yeah zbt actually did last fall what do they just sell um they're like shirts with their logo on it that are in colors that uh like army people can wear and how did that do well it's sold yeah so so this would so my one thing on this one is it's probably gonna cost like a customer 75 for all three

yeah well everybody but the polox have money okay so this is fine 75 for like two days of prank wear one day of in your or one like infinity days of in wear, one day of in your, or one, like infinity days of in your face. Right, okay. It's not Polish. The third, so these are, here's what, here's the catch. It's two shirts you only get to wear once, but then the last shirt is a shirt you never have to change out of.

Not necessarily, because you can prank several people. Oh my God. Yeah. So that's a more, a bigger bang for your buck. Right, exactly. 75 seems reasonable okay so we could have a not polish collection or polish what would we call it on the store it's the polish collection and then the not polish shirt should kind of be hidden because you don't want to ruin

the prank oh you're right okay cool so potential yes okay boy big time not a big time? Not a big time. Just not a hard maybe. So this next collection, it's crazy. Me and Kyle have been on the show the entire time. Hardly any shirts with us on it. But I had to narrow down all the fucking MOOC shirts. I had to cut like 50 of these. Let's go, Beast. So there's some really good ones. I had to cut like 50 of these.

Let's go, Beast. So there's some really good ones. So this one, the first one is Mook when he was a fat child over, I think, Humpty Dumpty. And it said, I had someone tell me I fell off. Oh, I needed that. With a fat baby Mook. I really like this one. Mook with a picture of Dave Portnoy underneath. Yeah, that could cause havoc. Yeah, that could cause budding fans um this one is syndrome from i think the incredibles

yeah and it says when everyone is mook no one will be what the fuck does that mean we have the baba mook okay the mook of non-king so they were so this one's a historical one yeah I think we skipped this one can you describe this so it's MOOC over an atomic bomb blast

but it says the MOOook of Nanking, which was a horrible, horrible tragedy. But it is a really clever play on words because Mook does sound a ton like... And it's a V-neck. Okay. I think we skipped that one completely. This one is predicting when Mook will die.

It's forever in our hearts, Connor Mook, October 31stst 1991 to march 1st 2037 gone but not forgotten i feel like your mom would really not like that one no for sure not so it's bank is that your actual birthday not a chance not even close it's not 30 years on you'd be 32 yeah 31 yeah i'm not in what 96 97 2001 oh my god no no i've just been that's my i just tell people different birthdays now that's what i'm doing so this one is october 31st 91 but it's predicting your death yeah how do you think i'm gonna die i don't know because that's not like too young to where it's that's at age where it could be anything besides SIDS.

How do you feel about that being the best picture of you? The one that will be used in your obituary? I'll take it because there are a lot worse. I think. Yeah, I think that's all for the MOOC collection. Oh, man, I really. We'll get these up. Humpty Dumpty.

So if we had to choose any of these, what do you think? You have to pick three and two of them you can't choose. Are you speaking in riddle right now? You have to pick three, but two you can't choose. The one with Dave is a no. The one in the bottom right is a no. The Mook of Nanking is a no. Nick and KB, you have to ask Mook's mom's

permission for the forever in our hearts. I would like the forever in our hearts. I like the memorial. I like because like, but they could wear his death shirt to his funeral as a vintage piece. What if that's never been done? I was just going to say something kind of dark. What? What if he dies before? Yeah. I guess free returns. Yeah, this is

fine. Fix the birthday. I'd have to ask our customer service department, but. Fix the birthday and maybe instead of gone, but not forgotten, just gone. Gone, but dot, dot, dot. Wait, why can't we use the Dave shirt? Do you want to ask for approval yourself? You think Bossman would give me copyright clearances? I think Bossman would give you some flack.

Some flack? Ask him for a collab tee. Okay. Please don't do that. you some flack some flack ask him for a collab t okay please don't do that yeah no do that ask him for a collab t we'll film you i'll hit him up yeah please don't do that what about gone or not forgotten yeah one of the two yeah it is true it's either or death shirt all right yeah so i think i really like the MOOC death tee. Yeah. People have been clamoring for another MOOC shirt since it's been taken out of the store. Yeah.

So I think this one's probably pretty good. Would your family all buy this one? Dude, my family came out strong this weekend at stand up and wore like 11 of them wore shirts. But they also were wearing the fake nose mustache glasses. That was their disguise. Eleven? You brought the extendo pin? Who was in that bunch? We had eleven mom, dad, aunts, uncles, cousins.

And then we had another six or seven of just random bulls. Okay, awesome. So they had to wear disguises. Who's that huge group of redheads in the MOOok shirt we could never tell who those guys are yeah oh man did they laugh in front of you or did you did you bomb i didn't notice they were there thank god yeah what because you can't see anything okay and would you have changed anything up yeah did you say fuck or pussy on stage yeah did you talk about fucking pussy yeah oh no yeah i talked about a lot of stuff that mommy and daddy weren't happy

quit saying that all right uh next up we have the grinkus collection okay so it's a menu item we have some of these are actually really good wow those look official the untold restaurant pizzeria biggest grink biggest uh gartuzzo on the menu. Oh, that's sick. It's really sick. Wow, that looks good. I think that's awesome. Okay.

The only issue is our white t-shirts might as well be clear. Okay. We have a portly fan base. This next one's like kind of Asian-y with a wheat drink. It's like Cooking Mama. Did you ever play Cooking Mama on your Nintendo DS? I didn't have a Nintendo DS. What?

How'd you game? I wasn't really allowed to play video games. Where are you from? Philly area. You weren't allowed to play video games? Yeah, what?

What'd you do as a kid? Was that like a religion thing? No. Play outside. Do sports. Read. Yeah, but like... I played the Wii.ii okay that's a video game undeniably uh if you can't amish country no lancaster okay if you can't handle me at my grinkus then you

sure as hell don't deserve me at my gartuzzo the words aren't there the words aren't there it's just two pictures of strange foods i think this one's pretty cool whoa curveball okay um we'll trade sister for wheat grinkus i like that one pretty good um cool cool untold story babe now make me a weak rinkus oh oh oh oh yeah i think that one's pretty good because it's a play on like the cool story babe yeah make me a sandwich but this one's like and i like where it's placed on i guess this football these football pads it's a practice jersey it's a practice yeah so i think we can we put out a practice jersey um we can do basketball jerseys. Oh, that changes everything. It does.

A mook death basketball jersey. You know, that's the one that's going to be in the store, right? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know how to feel about it at all. You have a lot more time left. Yeah, but not that much. No, but it's not like.

Yeah, no, it's not morbid yet i'm curious whoever made it how they think i'm gonna die we should reach out to them yeah um next up we have just other pod references so i really like this one this is a play on acdc but it's a chris d chris a for those about to ch we Chris you with the ACDC cover sorry I'm just getting an email that's good this is pretty cool right what's the backstory on Chris it was a summer of Chris

at okay I trust you wow you got it faster than most people we had 3000 words of explanation I think I'm better yeah alright are you sure you get it 3,000 words of explanation. I think I'm better. She just got it. Are you sure you get it?

I should explain it to you. You can really explain this to me. I don't understand at all, but I don't really want to understand. I'm sure. All right. This one's pretty cool, too. I think it's the same guy that made the other one. Untold Pizza and Seafood, and it's a shark eating...

Is that pumpernickel? Why eating is that pumpernickel? why is there a pumpernickel? could be Gartuzzo $5 mini or jumbos every Thursday New York City's largest Gartuzzo that's a fuck ton of references on one tee and it looks good it's spelled Gartuzzo

oh it's different oh with the arm oh Garm Tuzzo that's cool this is like referenced out that's a reference ass shirt that's sick um cool what about just a hat so no wait a minute so the one of the best sellers in the store is the girl dad hats yeah right over and over number one seller that um that bustin with the boys sells right they've hit merch bonus after merch bonus sure why why don't we have black uncle hats right uh should it just say unk

black unk would you rather just say black unk i think maybe just unk would suffice i think that's i think they get that it's black if it's just unk but no so like a girl dad it's a dad of a girl and a black uncle is an uncle of a black boy could be any race and that's me and i would like to my family extended family would like me to uh and them they would like to rock it themselves okay um so once someone on this podcast becomes an uncle kyle is. Kyle's a black. He just said. How did you not understand that but understood Summer of Chris

immediately? Black uncle is pretty straightforward. Do you have a photo of you? Well, I'll look into it. Seriously? No.

Why? Yeah, why? This is pretty. Is the word black daunting to you? No. OK. Can we just have an unk hat then?

UNC? Tarheel on the top? Maybe. Can we put out an unk hat? Maybe. Reid, I know you'd rock the unk hat. This would mean a lot to Henry. Henry.

That would be his nephew. Oh. Yeah. Okay. His middle name's Jasper? Wait, so would you get that for your nephew or would you wear that? That's something I would wear his nephew. Oh. Okay. His middle name's Jasper? Wait, so would you get that for your nephew, or would you wear that? That's something I would wear. Okay.

Yeah, he's the black uncle. At birthday parties, yeah. He would just have a hat that says nephew. Got it. Now, this one has never been a pod reference, but I thought it was a funny shirt. This one just says free UTIs. That's a great boardwalk shirt. Justis yeah uh no okay i understand that's not like a pod reference like the black uncle hat um this one's sick follow protocol protocol

the quest for perfection um sure we could get rid of the cock and balls or keep if we and that's my face on the Vesuvius man Vitruvian Vesuvius was a ball the Vitruvian man so it's the perfect man I think this one would sell that's cool and artsy

what could we do about the cock it's up to Kyle wait you're fine putting a cock on the store um i need to ask my boss can you call them right now she's not here can you call her no just be like hey like the anus guys have a really good sure idea but it does have a cock she's out of office a realistic cock it is to size um okay yeah that wasn't i didn't know that was funny yeah i thought that was kind of uncomfortable i thought that was kind of a break wait we all think it's small and you don't yeah that was it going past the balls

no it's not damn it was the same length it's almost taller than the ball it's uncut there's enough length for a taper yeah your dick's not long enough for a taper i apologize oh yeah it says kyle it's awesome that shirt is perfect okay this one's cool uh it has a surfboard on the front that's bitten out but the blue raspberry surf club yeah it's a little late for out of season right nobody's gonna it's should we try like a ski club and get it ready for winter we have we have we taught is there any skiers that have other arms bitten off by like a yeti um and now i think we have to do this surf club okay so maybe next summer okay that's fine because i like out of this batch i like kyle's cock yeah kyle's huge fucking cock anything else blushing all right the next one is okay so right we have a saying on the pod that

it's black dick don't burn okay um but But so we, you know, you can't really put that on a shirt. Yeah, I agree. So just BDDB. BDDB. Okay. But what the fans have decided to do is they're all fans of the pod, but there's like

a rivalry between cities who has the strongest blue raspberry guys. Okay. And so these all have city additions so the people of their respective city would have their black dick don't burn shirts okay and so you understand do you understand the saying like a black cock since it's nope we can keep going though okay um so um we have new york oh my god yeah and run of the mill run of the mill just the skyline of. Just the skyline of New York. The Statue of Liberty.

And then the sun. And then the two black dicks. So pretty. It's a really cool design. It's comfort color. So that's the brand. So this person, I think this came from,

the call's coming from inside the house. Okay. I agree. The next one is like, so we're our hometown. And that's like the colorway and like. It's kind of, yeah,

it's good colorway. It's cool looking. It's sleek. I think one of the cocks is coming. Further proof that it's not in the process of burning or sweltering in any manner. If a dick was burning, it certainly couldn't come at the same time. This one's wheeling, so it's repping me and Kyle.

I'm going to be in Wheeling, West Virginia in a couple weeks. The flag of rowdy? No. What are you going to be there for? A wedding. Who's getting married? One of my best friends from growing up. Is getting married in Wheeling?

Yeah. Is her groom a Wheeling? His fiance's from Wheeling. You're going to a gay wedding in Wheeling? No. Her friend is the man. Yeah, my friend is the groom. I forgot girls connect. We probably know the groom. friend is the girl. We probably know the girl.

We 100% do. Or know the bride. Which is dangerous. Yeah. Say who? No, I'm not going to say her name. After the pod. So this one's just me and Kyle as the heads of the dicks. Which does make sense because we're not black. No. Two pimples.

White heads. And not burning. But they Two pimples, whiteheads and not burning, but they're at the top of the Cox. I'm on the left. He's on the right. Wheeling has a great flag, by the way. One of the best. One of the best city flags. Better than most of the state flags.

Continue. Thank you, Kyle. So some people we have international. So, you know, land of the rising sun. This looks really good. Yeah. So black dick don't burn Japan. Yeah. For all, Land of the Rising Sun. This looks really good. Yeah. So Black Dick Don't Burn Japan.

Yeah. For all the guys in Japan that listen and believe in the motto that Black Dick Don't Burn. That's the best design. You think that's the best design?

I like it. I don't know the design that much. Wait until you see Dubai. Okay. Next up is Philly. Okay. Look at that.

So we got Philly fans. Yeah. Go Birds. So it's just the Statue of Liberty. Black Dick Don at that. So we got Philly fans. Yeah. Birds. So it's just the statue of Liberty. Black dick. Don't burn. It's not the statue of Liberty.

Uh, that's the Liberty bell. Thank you. Sorry. Um, yeah. And it's pretty cool. It's just got like the, you know, the bell ringer down here is the, can we put that in the store? That one?

Yeah. I guess you have two, you might need to call your boss and just be like, Hey, there's like eight cock shirts. Yeah. Yeah. I wouldn't like sugarcoat it in the email. I would actually say there was 10 cock shirts. So she's like.

And I would almost force her hand metaphorically. Let me text her a picture right now. Force her hand metaphorically. Just be like, hey, like the guys have 10 cock shirts. Maybe we just pick out three. We can give a presentation to them too. Yeah, I would gladly do that. It doesn't even have to be filmed.

But I'd like. Can we make it filmed? Yes. Okay. So wait, can. Yeah, I would gladly do that. It doesn't even have to be filmed. Can we make it filmed? Yes. Okay. So wait, can... So yeah, so you don't get in trouble. I'm asking my boss right now. Can you tell us what you're texting? So they want to know if they can put Cox on the story.

No, we have 20... Say there's about 20 shirts with a Cox silhouette. And we can make more. And we get to narrow it down to three. We don't have to use all of them. We're not narrowing the cocks themselves. I would like them to be the same width they are. Could you just do

voice to speech and we'll say it? Here, do you want to just do a video? No, no, no video. I don't want to think we're joking. Is this Allison? Allison. no no no video i i want to keep this i don't want to think we're like joking who is this allison allison um we about 20 cocks uh 20 total cocks over about 15 shirts we'd like to have them on the store um just need your okay you can pick out three of the shirts you get to decide how many three is the limit so like one two three which one how many three is the limit so like one two three which one how many yeah uh we if you like them all they're all 20 up fuck it who cares just tell us if one two or three cool uh next is black dick don't burn denver for rudy rudy what building with this big black cockpea this color palette's

great that was great but i think they use the this the bddb looks like the uh flappy bird font or maybe crossy Road font. Don't love that. I can't see it that good, but it's like an 8-bit. He's saying it's a good shirt. He said it looks like Denver. The cock's taller than the mountain. As it should be.

Which is very far. Deceivingly flat city. Yeah, it looks good. I think it looks damn good. The color scheme looks nice. It would go well with a Patagonia vest. I feel honored. That's nice.

Black Dick Don't Burn Boston, of course. That one's more realistic, Dick. That's like their Godzilla. Yeah. Yeah. We have a huge boston fan base yeah but luckily like that's we're good with the black dick don't burn okay move on yeah all right so we have black dick don't burn city additions continued and this one is saffron city from pokemon which is sick yeah it's the same cock from boston game the same cock from

boston for sure that sounds like a like an old-timey song same talk from boston sing it it really pops compared to the boston skyline definitely there's a pori gone there sylph co we get so scopes so you can see ghosts in there shut the fuck leave it to me okay um black dick don't burn dub. Look at that. Because we have a ton of like oil barons that listen to the pod. Really? Yeah. Yeah.

Exciting. And this one, you don't even have to make the dick black because the shirt's brown. So it's kind of like, I guess, saving money. Yeah, you could say that. I did. Do you want us to stop showing you these ones? No, it's okay. All right.

Sicko. Luckily, Enrique is HR. Yeah, it's okay. All right. Sicko. Luckily, Enrique is HR. Yeah, thank God. I don't see the issue. Oh, and the classic Miami Vice color palette. Don't burn Miami. Lame. What?

All right. We'll use Miami. That was cool, I thought. Can you wiggle the cord? Oh, Zimbabwe is the one I love. Nice. They already know. So I don't know if this would be redundant. Yeah, no shit.

Can you stop leaning on the cord? Oh, is it making it go crazy? Are they making a move? The cocks are moving. It's 3D. Whoa. I don't know what that is. Maybe we can get Zahn here.

He's probably seen this cock. I think that might be all those are all the cocks and then finally some blue raspberry guys what'd she say if the Pilarmi wants it they deserve it wow we did put a cock on the store I was not expecting that answer we're not gonna

who's buying these if we sell 10 I'm floored I think we can sell a lot what the fuck there's actual cocks on but some of them are like vague enough for it which one is which one is vague enough dude japan people don't look at shirts i think the philly one there's yeah there's a japan is vague japan oh man um all right the next one's just the blue raspberry uh there's a girl's chat there was in our in our group that they want to have a girl's blue raspberry girl shirt so i think that's a

pretty cool graphic like this yeah i think it's pretty cool and then somebody had ai recreate a blue raspberry guy and what it was the result was so haunting that I thought it was fucking awesome so sick look at him I think that's sick it's like a fleshy berry but the blue arms and legs it's holding I think a part

of itself baby looks like my grandma does it looks like an odd future shirt it does look like an odd it looks like something from the stinkyinky Cheese Man. I think that's sick. I'd rather do the girl one. We'll do. Okay, let's do the girl. They want it on a crew neck.

That's a full design. We'll put that on a crew. And I think the last one is just the Pilar me shirt. Look at this. Look at that. Come on. None of us made these. Wow. Pilar, please put the shirt in the store. Thank you. None of us made these. Wow.

Pilar, please put the shirt in the store. Thank you. Well, you can spell my name right. Oh, double L'd. The few, the proud, the Pilar-my. Look at that. No. Okay.

What about that middle one? No, definitely not. No. I'm talking to Pete, actually. He needs help. All business? Yeah. Well, that was the last one so can we just pick out yes we'll do blue raspberry gal yes do you want to which one which black i think philly was sick and it was like the most subtle i do like philly i think philly would sell

the most i like japan the most but like i like japan a lot i like japan a lot but what are we like that's a really big cock on the shirt but i don't know i think that's do you think you could wear that shirt for a day and people wouldn't know it's more subtle than the untell this bitch with a gun yeah i guess you're right let's uh Let's let the fans decide. Okay. I also don't think people will see that shirt and be like, why is there a cock on a shirt? I think they're just going to be like, what is that? What's the shirt? And then I think as awesome as this one is, I don't want to do a white shirt.

So I think we do Mook Death. I'll redesign this to be a little bit cleaner and we'll do a Mook Death shirt. So can we send you those three? Yeah. And this HDMI just died. So I think we're good. What about the first ones we looked at before Mook death shirt. So can we send you those three? Yeah. And this HDMI just died. So I think we're good. What about the first ones we looked at before Mook? The Polish.

Oh, you like those? Yeah. Oh, the Polish bundle. The Polish bundle. Yeah. One unit. All right. And then we can maybe redesign these.

So maybe it's just the Polish flag. And so it doesn't have to be this big dip of red. Okay. And we can keep the cost down. Yeah, that will help. Okay, cool. I'll redesign that. So Polish bundle. Yes. Mook dying. One black dick. You have to get the approval from Mook's mom

from Mook dying. Mook, can you call her right now? She's going to be down for that. Mook, can you give her a call right now while Pilar's in the room? Pilar, we've taken too much of your time already, I'm sure. Yeah, it's okay. Okay. Didn't have to say yeah, then. She might be bartending. What?

What? What a twist this is. Hey, Mom, you're on anus. What? You're on anus. I'm on what? How do you feel about merch being made of me that says, like, RIP MOOC? Hold on, I'm going out back.

Hold on. I can't hear you. Okay, she's muted right now. You're live on Anus. Hi. Hi. Hello. Hi, everybody.

How do you feel about a death shirt being made of me? A death? Yeah, can you describe it? It's a picture of Connor's's face and it has his birthday and then it's saying rest in peace and it's having he dies in 2037 no no no no no i think that what about a mook's mom shirt okay what should we put on it uh how many would we sell probably 10 i think 11 to the fan yeah i think the in memoriam shirt would would sell a lot yeah i think we're gonna move units with the in memoriam mom so it's about moving weight in memoriam for you from 2037 yeah just realistic enough how old will you be? I don't know wait do the math

that's like an omen 39 39? yeah no 40, 41 sorry 41 we shouldn't do it why?

are you going to have eyebrows and eyelashes? okay I'm going to hang up now mom it's been real thank you for answering down have a have a good uh love you too bye nice lady wow now now now yeah she said it like mayor of east town died at 41 is the best age to die ko Kobe. Alan Turing. Chester Bennington. Amelia Earhart. Jane Austen. Richard I. Magellan. Magellan. That's a good crop, yeah. Nate Dogg.

Nate, oh. Yeah, that's a good, okay, so Patrice O'Neal. Yeah, I'm down. Yeah, he's down. These guys are immortal. Big boss man. Alright, so your mom was cool with that no she was not i respect moog's mom your mom's a bartender yeah she does it for fun what the fuck she was a bartender like growing up and she did occupational therapy for a while and then

you know my dad uh came through with the bag and now she was a stay at home mom. Daddy came through with the bag. Now she's bored. I get it. Bartending would be pretty fun on some occasions. I think so, too. Where does she bartend? You can bleep it out.

In Philly. Where in Philly? Like northeast. Oh, OK. Yeah. The parents live in Drexel Hill. It's like a VFW kind of situation. Yeah.

Cool. Very cool. She's a hard. I'm going to bleep that. Jesus Christ. What the fuck? Called her a hard. Can we bleep that again?

Wait a minute. Who calls their mom a hard? What's that mean? It's a good thing. It's a good thing. I know. That's what makes it weird. No.

She grew up tough. She's a tough. Yeah. Yeah. She's grew up tough. She's a tough. Yeah. Yeah. She's a tough lady. She's a tough lady. I respect her too. Well, Pilar, thank you very much.

You're welcome. We're going to really, really push these. Okay, great. When do we want to go live with them? I'll make the graphic this week. I'll finalize all the graphics this week. Okay, cool. All right.

Cool. Thank you, Pilar. Until next time. That was exciting. Oh, rookie. We're keeping that in. We're keeping that in. Big thank you to Pilar. Be sure to add her on LinkedIn. Add her on LinkedIn and Instagram, Facebook, all socials.

If you want to DM her, just submit a shirt. That felt a little HR-y. We were just like, hey, come in here. We're going to show you some stuff. It was all cocks. It was all black dicks. That might be a bad look. Can we show those on Instagram?

I mean, on YouTube? I might have to do a little blur job, but I think we're fine. I think you can definitely do artists renditions. That's what those were. That's what I'm saying. You can't do actual penises. A drawing of the t-shirts. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Forget everything I just said prior. Besides that. Oh boy. But BetterHelp. sponsored by better help uh forget everything i just said prior besides that oh boy um but better help sometimes we're stressed overwhelmed too much going on in our lives maybe you're thinking about a career change feeling like a relationship needs some tlc whatever it is therapy can help you map out your future and trust yourself to find a way forward um everybody i talk to everybody has a therapist no matter if they're a podcaster, if they're a garbage man, if they're a pro skateboarder, everybody I know has a therapist and it benefits them in different ways. If you're thinking about starting therapy,

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Thank you to those guys. Yes. What else going on, KB? What do we got? What do we got? Better at hacky sacking than you. Well, no. Yeah.

No. I am. I think I got 40. I will be. I could be 40. It's already too visual of an episode. We can't have you hacky sack. No, I won't hacky sack.

Oh, yeah. 357, not an area code, but it's time to revert back to the beginning numerically. And that puts us at 216, which is Cleveland. Cleveland. One of my favorite cities. I do like it. I've always not in my head. I went to my first bat mitzvah in Cleveland. One of my favorite cities. I do like it. I've always not at my head. I went to my first

bat mitzvah in Cleveland. That's the girl turning 15. Bar is guy. And then B'nai is twin. B'nai mitzvah? John B'nai mitzvah.

Yeah. Interesting. What's a triplet? Are there Jewish triplets? I don't think I've ever met Jewish twins. Good point. I know a couple of Jewish twins. Oh, yeah. You know a couple?

Like, the one pair or two pairs? Two pairs. Two separate pairs. Yeah. I went to, like, 50 bar mitzvahs growing up. Speaking of twins, the 216 boasts the twin festival in Twinsburg, Ohio. Really? Part of the 216.

So mayors can get dry. So, I mean, high school football coaches are on the table, especially with September and the fall coming up and if you want to look at the best programs in northeast ohio in the 216 you probably think saint ed's saint ignatius those are private schools who recruit from all over the state and country we're going to honor today glenville high school out of east cleveland they're the they are the Blooders. What? That is their nickname. That's a slur. Their teams would whack the tar and blood out of their opponents. So that's the type of team we're dealing with.

They combine tar here with mud blood. It's cool. Yeah, it is cool. Eastside Cleveland. They've been a local juggernaut for decades. And they finally had a state title this past season. 15-0. Division 4 state champions. for decades and they finally had a state title this past season 15 to no division four state champions and their head coach is ted gin senior whoa so we're going to take a look at ted senior's

instagram they have the coolest logo i've ever fucking seen this is it's a robot inside of the georgia g yeah that is uh a spoiler alert for the heat check oh Oh, I'm sorry. No, that's just like a. You know, you know how it's going to end. And his Instagram name is Coach Ginn with two N G I N N Coach Ginn. OK, let's get everybody a time to. Oh, I mean, this guy is. And we're looking at the fourth most recent, the one where he's posing in front of tribal tapestry, like a little native slut. What the fuck?

Forgive me, Coachkin, because I'm about to praise you. Trust me. His outfit as a package, it works. It's cool. It's overwhelming to my brain brain which means it's good yeah and we're going to start down south in solon and make our way up to cleveland heights uh apologies right off the bat i'm skipping the shoes i'm skipping shoes i don't know what they are i couldn't id them they look like they're cool i don't know what they are, but that's a plus one. To the pants.

Burberry London, black and white, plaid print, lounge bottoms, $125. That's a porterhouse at Marble Room on the low limbs alone. Again, that's the black and white berry. Hallelujah. Batman pants. He's got Catwoman on his dick. London bottoms. He's laughing his arse

off at you bums. Crisp white tee in the pajama waistband. PJ Tucker with the heat. 21 22. Let's power forward to his jacket. It is a Sebastian

Cruz couture black luna dinner jacket with the silk pocket square that is $1,395. This man's got the mayor of Mentor's monthly rent on his back. That's a penthouse in Parma on his person. Four beds, three baths in Berea on his body.

A black man's thriving in the Sebastian. Y'all just flounders. Wet-ass jacket, he'll steal your dame. Y'all can't even afford this blazer. What's on neck? What's on neck? What's on neck? The chain, it is a 16-millimeter, 10-karat gold Cuban link,

state of Louisiana chain, at about fifteen thousand dollars. You po boys don't got enough bread for all those carrots. Bon me swag. Fuck out of here. Trying to compete with a veteran. Ho Schemen City. These bitches Hanoi. Ho Schemen City. ho scheming city these bitches hanoian teddy senior 15 bands on the pelican state chain that's a louisiana purchase he could

buy you white boys if he wanted where's thomas jefferson because that's a mount rushmore chain and buy george's Lincoln. To the shades, those are the Horse & Boo Model X Black Tokyos. $945, and they're with the Tortoise Temple. That's the Model X Black Tokyo line. Naomi Osaka Vision. You'd love to see it. I don't know. I could not identify the watch.

I think the hat is his own personal logo, maybe. Okay. But I know he is doing the, what is that with his arm? The lightning bolt, I think. Okay. He's got all five fingers extended to the sky. That's a PowerPoint. Ted, talk to him.

Heat check, Phoenix in August oh he passed like river oh not even including the green suit whatever i couldn't identify any of that but um yeah the easiest pass of my career my god ted ginn senior that was hard born in lou be. That's why he reps the chain. I think his son played for the Saints briefly. Briefly. Yeah. He's doing the Omega Psi. Oh, it's a fraternity thing. It's a fraternity thing.

Okay, cool. Yeah, he's with Anthony Anderson of Kangaroo Jack. Oh, that's who it was. Okay. Oh, shit. And various scary movies. Yeah, so Cleveland, nothing bad to say about him today. Yeah.

Shout out Machine Gun Kelly. I guess. Yeah. Halle Berry, Drew Carey. The Paul Brothers. Kid Cudi. Kid Cudi.

Me. What? Kid Cudi's from Solon and I worked at the Jimmy John's in Solon and was all around the whole city with my car. Okay. So yeah, it counts.

Yeah. Counts, counts, counts. Um, this is our second to last episode from New York city. Crazy, crazy,

crazy feeling. How, how have these last weeks felt um going to chicago was weird it was like you know we've been anticipating this for like over a year well over being there this past week kindly kind of felt like it was set in stone it's been like looming for a long time because i remember when i first got on the yak full time big cat was like get ready to go to chicago i'm like holy shit okay but when we stepped in the office got on the yak and like these new unfamiliar like seating

arrangements i kind of kind of hit me like a ton of bricks like i was anxious like a new school boy yeah i was so nervous right down the whole like it's just everything felt new and i felt uh like weird imposter syndrome kind of yeah yeah i'm excited but nervous and then i also like everyone is like everything about chicago was great it was perfect almost and everything is so exciting and everyone just raves about it and And I kind of don't like that. Yeah. I need some negativity. Download the Citizen app. I downloaded the Citizen app because my mom made me do it before I went to Chicago. Wasn't really that much going on in my area.

I got some scary notifications that happened. Like it tells you like months prior, like those dots stay on the map. Citizen app is just a large. Yeah. Yeah. And then I came back home and i didn't delete it i came back here and there were like three stabbings outside of my building in the past week my building that's on wikipedia that somebody found all around us yeah like

outside of this office like probably one death a day yeah i almost had a death i almost died today when i was walking out today for lunch this shirtless shoeless homeless man i don't know i don't know if he was homeless maybe he was a shirtless and shoeless man of course and he's came up he's like i want to stab you and i just ran right back in the office yeah they're getting and the noise i made i was on the phone with my buddy nico and this guy came up goes i'm gonna stab you and i went oh and i ran that's fair that's a problem yeah that's fair what else are you supposed to do yeah yeah you didn't see some crazy shit on the on the citizen app i remember i used to look at it a lot and one time at tompkins square park i

saw an alert that said man assaulting people with a fish with a fish yeah you see like every variety of people like i saw men fighting with sticks men fighting in an elevator shaft yeah there's there's a ton of sharp and in your head you're like these people have been homeless for however long like they couldn't their life couldn't get worse which is sad as hell well jail is a roof and i'm saying like what's like If they stabbed me, I wouldn't even know if that would be morally wrong. They're getting a better life. It would be morally wrong if they stabbed you. They stabbed me to death.

But you got to think, their moral compass, they have nothing carrying that. Then go steal something and go to jail. They have had the worst life possible all their lives. They don't have any reason to have morals or spiritual beliefs or have any qualms with killing someone if they especially if they were having a psychotic break which that will have drugs i think like

there is a chance always i have the cushiest life and i'll just stab once a year because of psychotic break my thing is i think i would kill them back i would be able to what do you mean kill them back i think i would you're already dead i think as i was bleeding out i would still be able to physically kill them with my set of skills what would you do to them which are what but you just said it's not morally wrong you'd want them to die they would stab me i would do a duck a duck under have control of their backside you'd have a knife in your gut dude you'd be no i think a lot of people when their adrenaline's so high they don't even feel the knife i think i'd be able to finish a kill before i died of the you calling it a kill is creepy

yeah i agree with kb here you try to kill i wouldn't be able to but kb could i think i mean the man's jacked the man's jacked but for what you could like kick it's the kick a guy to death with like two kicks like a homeless guy yeah i think i would just stomp on his face yeah then like what if you survived and he died would you live with a guilt no um i think if somebody broke into my place i would like be too afraid to stab them. Yeah, I know. What would you do?

Lock yourself in your room? In my place? Yeah. My studio apartment? Oh, yeah. Go under the covers? Right. No.

Bottom line is we're very safe people. We're going to be safe. We're going to be fine. Yeah. Yeah. The car is the only killer. What do you think about the atmosphere back here? It's got weird as fuck. Yeah.

They it seems like like a harsh, staunch competition now between the two cities. Because, I mean, we can compete about against the many many actual competitors yeah like media companies yeah comedy podcasts and but it seems like it's more of a competition competition between the two cities yeah that's odd because like co-workers it it was odd because like i'm sure there's a natural competition with amongst everybody even under the same roof right so i don't understand why it matters 45 against 45 every man for themselves pretty much that's how the landscape is here yeah we all do our own thing and hope i mean i don't everybody wants to be the biggest right so now it's just one verse one that's odd yeah well i don't think that'll continue i think no i don't think so i

think the more you mention how silly that is. We're the last people going to Chicago in the building. And I think we're that last. Once we go, I think things will just like probably find a baseline. Let's find it. You know, I'm ready to go. I'm very like my apartment's all boxes. How's the area?

Mine? Yeah, compare it to a New York City neighborhood. The chop shops around Citi Field. Oh, really? Yeah, it's just a bunch of bandos and, like. Industry and. No, it's, like, a bunch of places being built. I don't feel unsafe by any means.

And it's, like like there's a nice little market and stuff or walk around but it's just like uh it's still it's not it's not you won't see a single tourist that's good yeah i like my spot though it's cool it's all right rudy how's it been it's been good i just been moving in fucking sucks dude i still have so many boxes and i've been trying to build my new twitch setup so i'm like surrounded by wires constantly and putting together things below a desk is so dehumanizing yeah my knees hurt the second they touch the ground now like yeah my knees start to hurt and you're like hunched over in like a vulnerable position like you can't look swaggy under a desk no under a desk is where secretary sucking your

cock yeah we're columbine oh jesus christ yeah it's not i mean you're not you're not wrong it's swag that is a swagless yeah that was a swagless event yeah so yeah no it's good though man it's awesome i'm kind of sad like when you guys were here last week it was so fun and now um it's a little boring yeah but that'll be that'll change soon taking advantage of any amenities in your apartment um not really i swam i've swam once i get self-conscious about like swimming by myself oh yeah like being a just a dude in a pool is a single alone dude when you say swimming do you mean like actually swimming no like if i was in the ocean it'd be fine but just going to my building swimming pool by myself i don't know what to do in the water i don't know i don't know what you do i don't i don't get the appeal to be honest i would want to just simply

for the sensation of cooling off yeah like a jacuzzi is meant to be sat in but a single dude just in a pool entertaining himself is a bizarre concept that i don't think anyone does i wouldn't know how to do that yeah a swimming pool is like a fast break mini you that's the or like a little mini snickers that's the amount of joy you get from it yes you jump in you get refreshed no but when you're with friends or something playing chicken or throwing a splash ball but that's you could be playing activities with friends anywhere with the same appeal no not the not that you don't lay lay out and die for a splash ball. That's fun. Yeah,

I guess. Yeah, it's been good. What about the good? I'm excited for you guys to get here. Any work on the trash chute? Oh, yeah. Have you thrown any panties down the trash chute, dude? I've been testing it out. I've been testing it out with different stuff. You've been what would

you say? What would you say? What would I say? Guys, get to what floor are you on? No, not saying that. Nobody's that good. Dude, no, trust me. Listen, I know what people are capable of because I'm capable of it. I mean, it must be high up because you're in the middle of a Cirrus cloud right now.

Dude, yeah. because you're in the middle of a cirrus cloud right now. I got a new light coming and I'm really hoping that we can take care of this because this is it looks cool now but like look at my hand. It looks like you're in a music video. It looks infinite. I do. I look like I'm like in a P. Diddy Yeah. I think I would

blend in. Yeah, you couldn't handle that. I think I would blend in. Yeah. You couldn't handle that. I'd be camouflaged. Yeah. Hello. But no, I haven't tried the panty maneuver yet. Yet.

Yeah. Well, I mean, I think that my biggest fear is that it works. Oh, well. my biggest fear is that it works. Oh, well, cause then I would realize that I've been, I have a lot more rope than I've been.

I have a lot more leash than I've thought. You know what I mean? I don't never, I don't think it'll work. I think it would. Yeah. You think that would work? No,

no, no, no. Do you think, do you think MOOCs idea of inviting a girl over pre-date for before you've ever met her? Yeah, I think that's cute and funny. And it did work. Someone DM'd me, so they used it last weekend, and now he has a potential wife. So shout out to Evan Morris and my DMs.

What did he say? You're a real one. I'll pull up the DM. Oh, while we're doing shout outs, shout out. I think his name was Ryan I was walking down the street and he got my attention

and he was listening to Anus BRV yeah he was listening to Anus yeah that's cool I hope his name is Ryan

but he's a nice guy lives in the neighborhood he's like I'm listening to your podcast right now so shout out to him next time you see him he'll be in a mook death prophecy shirt

hopefully yeah so I got a DM on 7 a.m. on Saturday. Sup, big dog? Pulled off your move last night bringing the girl over before the date for drinks and it worked to perfection. Stay easy, beast. Have you created an army? People are allotting him as like a W-getter now, which is insane.

Which is fucking absurd people don't know how to just take one step up people really want to go from one extreme to the other Moog takes a lateral step and people are so used to these backward leaps that they're like oh it's a huge dub for Moog

who pivoted to the right a tiny bit I mean I don't know i got hitters you do have fucking hitters is it true that you run the streets of philly is sass was saying that you guys went to different establishments like vintage shops shoe stores restaurants and like all the like the owners like were like like talking about you like you were like a made man yeah those are my demons shout out uh my boys on south street we've been you've been their accountant like you do like dirty math let's let's back up on that we're we're on the airwaves but you know i help them out uh help them with their finances they're a bunch of south street guys so they deal in cash mainly

and haven't really you know they don't have have like a. Can you keep going and talking like a real Philly accent like your mother? Yo, dickhead. Good to fucking see you. Thanks for checking in. Cause you and Sassy anything or what? You want to hit Angelo's? I can hook it up if you want. Wow.

You got shows this weekend or what, dude? Did you ever have that accent? No, but it comes out every once in a while and like different words. She wolf. Yeah. But yeah, I just have a lot of friends in South Philly and they're connected with actual like bad people. Oh, but there are good people.

You're one separation. Yes. I'm like a few. Yeah. Nice. You do you like HelloFresh? I love it. Good.

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I like it. So it's an excitement. It's like Christmas morning every time I come home and I see that styrofoam box with like the dry ice inside. I know. And it's a delicious meal and it's cheaper, way cheaper than what you're spending now, regardless of its groceries or delivery. Yeah.

Yeah. So go to HelloFresh.com slash 50 anus. Use code 50 anus for 50 percent off plus free shipping. Big thank you to HelloFresh.com slash 50anus. Use code 50anus for 50% off plus free shipping. Big thank you to Hellofresh. Oh, my God. I'm flying to Columbus for a fantasy football draft. Tenth year. This is a big thing.

You guys put on due full festivities. Yeah. What are you going to do this time? So last year to get our draft order i i went and bought a bunch of worms and we did worm races so you had a everybody had their own poster board the worm in the middle of first worm to leave the circle got a pick oh that's sick yeah yeah and then the loser of our league we do the passing of the loser's trophy which i've talked about this before maybe on this podcast um it's uh if you lose the fantasy

football league you have to grow out your pubes for a year and if you come in dead last in our league you have to grow out your pubes for the year no shaving your pubes trimming or shaving and um at the draft you're allowed to shave your pubes and you put them into this glass box that we have it's like a box for an autographed baseball. That's the pube cube. And then that goes to the newest loser. So someone is about to deliver. Someone's

been going for a year. My boy Teasy is dropping off the pube cube. So this is like That's his? No, it's like seven years. Everybody puts their pube in the pube cube. Oh shit. You have to keep this in your nightstand or in your desk. Yeah, it's full. It's the size of a baseball right now.

But it did backfire this year because I didn't lose my league, but my dad did. And so if I lose this year, I have to have a box of my dad's pubes and you're gonna and all my other homies yeah you're gonna see them in there and this thing isn't airtight like there will be prickles that push out but my boy marcus lost two years in a row and this whole two years he's been dating the same girl she's never once seen his she was headbutting a Brillo pad every fucking night. But he finally, he filled up the majority of it. Shout out to Marcus. Obviously, you can tell our week is all white guys, but my dad will be adding a hint of

I was going to say, his will be discernible. And it's no offense to him. That just happens with age. Yeah. Any redhead representation yet? Fuck no. No fuck no no no no yeah so that's we're gonna have the passing of that which will be exciting my dad can finally i probably have to he's going he's gonna go to columbus for the festivities sure is nice

i just can't imagine growing them out for a full year. That would be uncomfortable. They have a stop. You're Irish. That'd be uncomfortable. What the fuck was that? That'd be uncomfortable. I'm stuck in like Philly and I just, I don't know where I'm at. He was from Liverpool. Mook has an accent when he has pubes, but when he shaves him, it's back. Oh, he nicked me balls.

I don't know what that was. You're crushing, dude. that was pretty good yeah um um yeah so i think pubes have a stopping point i don't think like if you grew for like four years they would go to like here right i don't know i think they just get bushier like i don't think it turns into like a beard no i don't i think No, I think all hair has a stopping point of growth, right? I'd have like Yosemite. Like your armpit hair doesn't grow down to your elbows. It would be cool if you had a beard and your dick poked out and then you braided it at the bottom of it like a beard.

It would be really cool. That would be fucking tight. It would be too heavy on your balls, though. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I like that's it's dude i went like my boys after two years a month a month i went like a month and it was when i finally put it back down to turf you go turf it was a lot of work what kind of turf uh the new age turf like not not not early 2000s turf new age turf with the rubber beads and you have the rubber pellets in your pubes yeah the ones that cause cancer yeah

yeah i get it and torn acls yeah i go turf i go turf on the main floor and then hardwood floors in the basement. You hardwood floor. How do you even get it to that? Is the basement your gooch? Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Boobs. Boobs. I mean, I'm boobs. Balls. Balls. I keep like a electrocuted mad scientist. Like it's just, but it's kind of smart. I'm saying like those balls like those like time

you touch yeah like the yeah at the science fiction museum or the science i have scientist hair what is happening right now i don't know i just said science fiction museum oh my god um what do you got going uh yeah nothing for months nothing till january what's january doing a uh solo vacation oh my god a 20-day solo trip to southern thailand how are you selling that to your girlfriend that is that is the worst she knows that she knows that i'm like i'm like like do fine in solitude and i could do like she knows i like geography and i've been always interested in travel in bangkok yeah there's a lot right i think you're not how is that my first solo trip to be immersive culturally and like have a good balance with but you understand you

understand what people are gonna diversity think. And diversity. No. I'm going to do river tours down the Chao Phraya. I'm going to do the flower markets, all the different temples. All right, so that's two things. What are you going to do with the 18 other days? You know exactly what people are going to think. What?

A solo trip to Bangkok for 20 days in a hostel. I don't need guilt tripping after that. I'm not guilt tripping you. This was a huge monumental decision. What did your girlfriend say when you pitched this idea to her? So 20 days is pending. It's so long. It's pending. But the solo vacation, I just have to do one.

Yeah, but your first one. The first time you've ever left the country for 20 days. And not even in an English-speaking country. You're going to Bangkok. You're going to Thailand. And you know the reputation that has. A single guy is going to Thailand. $1 is like 30 Thai bots.

And I will probably, I'll be traveling a lot. So you got to think like three total days of the 20 will be purely travel. That's still 70 days. I'm going gonna go down the Malay Peninsula and maybe sneak into Singapore I don't know a solo trip to Thailand is like something you see in an article right before someone is under investigation for like a

major crime yes you're going there to fuck bull no I'm not because you don't want to imagine if my first imagine if my first you knew about that no i've heard imagine my first solo trip was to somewhere like montana like that's boring you gotta go somewhere first you gotta do a happy medium with 20 days in thailand yes because it's it's a very good with the maximum it's a perfect balance of very culturally diverse and there's a lot of westernized

tourists there. What are the westernized tourists doing? I don't know what they're doing. It's going to be... I'm going to be able to communicate with new people. I'm going to spend a lot of it alone. That's the biggest thing. When I'm at the temples and the markets

getting the massage, I'm going to be alone. Typical thing would just be go to Japan like every other white dude from New York. Yeah, but they don't have enough tourists. I want to connect with other like Brits and Canadians. What are they all doing there? What are they all going to be doing there? I think that everyone, people backpack. That's what they do in Southeast Asia.

They go and backpack and they live life because they get to their 30s and they're like, wow, I can. I'm still young enough to have a lot of energy and pep to do these things. And I might as well live my life. Why don't you bring your lovely girlfriend? Because it wouldn't be a solo trip. The backpacking. All right. What about you guys go together and she does her thing solo

there and you do your thing solo i'm not doing this i know people are believing i went way too hard yesterday on the bracket they just we never told him it was a lie but he's not going to that would be the most absurd thing in the world to do also if you say you're doing 20 days in bangkok they know exactly what you're doing they know exactly what you're doing. 20 days is, yeah. They know exactly what you're going to do. That could only mean one thing. You're going to fuck these boys in a sauna. Best case scenario. Yeah.

Yeah. Wait, what? I think that'd be like the most, the best case scenario for a 20 day trip. Like the least incriminating case scenario yeah oh man uh guys be sure to download Rupp and Rowdy pay for it get it on YouTube join us

in the chat that'll be fun uh all kinds of fighters a lot of guys it's in Wheeling West Virginia so you'll see my dad ringside my dad is going ringside they got him a VIP pass yeah he's excited he's gonna be on camera you'll see nick's dad his reactions oh he hates fights yeah that'll be funny yeah um you guys have a bet we have our own bet yeah yak bet on wheels of death versus the popular i'm on team wheels i have no idea how it's gonna go i love how the the popular is such a bad name that you realize

you it makes you forget how bad wheels of death is yeah wheels of death has no implication fighting no no that's like a twisted metal name yeah you what you don't can't agree with that you don't know what i'm talking about no that's fine um anything else any housekeeping mook any dubs i got a lot of housekeeping you bombed the other night didn't you did we talk about that no when where i think you bombed you text us that you bombed one oh no no we talked about that you're walking in the rain i thought you were talking about when we did our sketch that uh oh no no out of order yeah we'll be in that that'll be that's out right now yeah so they'll already see it but we did a mime sketch and i thought i bombed being a mime you did not bomb being a mime

but it did make me we still have those mime costumes and i kind of want to do i kind of want to do a tiktok where if you have any hookups at a comedy club i'd like to film this it's like uh now introducing uh nick the mime and i go up there as a mime and then i just go what's up guys and then just cuts it just ends yes i think that's a funny tiktok i'll probably do well we could make that what was the pussy thing you said the pussy the hypothetical like oh i i i sent a snapchat to all the girls in my contacts of uh uh, just be like, I wish I could tell everybody how good your pussy was. I just painted up as a mime. I didn't actually do that, obviously,

but I thought that'd be funny. So hard. Someone's got to do that. I wish I could tell, I wish I could tell the world how good your pussy is. I need to see that image of somebody doing, I sent to my boy Nico. I don't kiss and tell though.

It was just a picture of me as a mom oh that'll be the tiktok oh yeah yeah okay was that the french is that their fucking thing they come up with the yeah um they wear striped shirts and berets but i don't know if they've worked yet on my arms i've always associated with french people it's a wild idea for it to be like such a popular like trope of entertainment yeah well when they look like they're there's you know they're stuck in a fucking cargo box it looks kind of cool for five it's kind of cool i think it'll be fun yeah it is cool it would also be funny to do a sketch with a mime with a sign language interpreter next to him just doing the exact same thing yeah yeah what else do we have on housekeeping uh gen

four kb we're in limbo between three and four and i'm not guilty at all i don't feel any guilt you don't have to dude you're the only person yeah everyone's trying to yeah i don't feel any guilt it makes me think you're very guilty yeah it destroyed me still working out the kinks yeah i went to tahoe for a wedding it was beautiful and i relapsed on 20 cocktails and in a stizzies and i did stizzies did you have the next day and i did stizzies yesterday and i love stizzies and i love the feeling of being high on cannabis and um i love being drunk as fuck yeah um it makes things a lot better it makes things a lot more fun it rocks so why stop has your have you been going to the gym less since you've been off the pro i haven't been going as hard in the gym it's just a slippery slope are you listening to music i haven't had a new song in years i'm too

lazy to find new songs it's kind of hard and daunting no i gotta planet fitness isn't for me i feel like i finally feel like i'm above it not based on strength or income but like the people there just don't like there was a couple making out right in the crevices. There's tiny crevices. I was doing pull-ups. There's a couple making out right on this little windowsill on the 27th Street Planet Fitness. You know, you read. It's tight.

And they're just making out. I'm staring them in the eyes while they're making out. And then the boy... That might be weirder of you. They were making out on the windowsill right in front of me. Then the boy gets on the hanging ab machine. The girl was behind him and keeps

poking him in the butt and laughing and looking at me for approval. They looked special. They looked like 1.5 standard deviation above Down syndrome. Not quite Down syndrome. Bunny slope syndrome. The point is, I'm not making fun deviation above down syndrome like not quite down syndrome bunny slope they weren't there but the point is i'm not making fun of them where i am because for not for their disability or lack

thereof but for the fact that they were making out at planet fitness and i can't have that at my gym it's fair yeah fair point um anus uh the roast of glenn quagmire oh play this shit dude somebody ai'd our podcast and they did the roast of glenn quagmire i'll link the uh youtube in the description i will play it yeah play that oh my god yeah it's crazy welcome back to another episode of a new untold story episode 401 we have a special guest today and for those not watching on youtube i'm sorry and but it's glenn fucking quagmire hello boys we got him this made me like i got starstruck hearing myself talking to Quagmire yeah

oh you listen to the pod no but I'm assuming it's about anuses right not necessarily I mean we've spoken extensively about Kyle's sticky shits and my ribbon shaped shits but anus stands for a new untold story oh for fuck's sake.

So let me guess, KFC Radio has nothing to do with Kentucky Fried Chicken? No, but some can say that would be better material. Well, shit, I'm already here. So let's get into it, boys. Giggity! I was out late last night. I didn't have time to write the news today. Looks like I'm the prepared cookie today.

The prepared cookie today looks like looks like i'm the prepared cookie i'm already here oh say i accidentally rewound i was out late last night and didn't have time to write the news today looks like i'm the prepared cookie today what the hell are you doing under my chin to ronnie oh for fuck's sake how the hell did you even hide it under there sleight of hand baby sleight of hand oh shit oh shit it got me once kicked a horse in the chin and the giraffe as we know it was born chuck norris once kicked glenn quagmire in the chin and he went on to lick mook's jumbo queen's pussy that was insane that was nuts oh we're gonna be out of a job that was so realistic yeah we're so fucked because like if if ai us can get quagmire as a guest and we can't get anybody yeah that was and that's exactly how we would

have responded i would have written that joke about oh it's also labeled as anus episode 401 so it's a future oh shit they're predicting we get we get quagmire have you bumped into him at all i just said i saw him at jack's boy frito with mod apatow what was he doing uh i just went right to dumois dms i didn't even get to take in what he was doing he probably had like a layover here because he's bj novak was i don't know if he was with them or just talking to them but i don't know were they like a couple mod was wearing headphones oh so i don't know if it was like romantic or what. Maybe business. Yeah, maybe. Yeah.

We'll get him. If anybody has a connection with Quagmire, please, I would really love to get him. Yeah. Yeah. Get him out of Quahog. We'd go to him, too. I'd go to him. We'd do a live show from the fucking clam, dude.

Right. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Any other housekeeping? Tonight, if you're listening to this right now, we're with maresh maybe oh yeah thursday tonight yeah okay and last but not least a little uh me check i was not allowed to talk about mobamba on stage this weekend but i came out to it the song every single time did it hit yeah yeah i was getting mooked very hard. Yeah. It was awesome. Did your parents ask why you chose that song? Nope.

Give me like, did you have any inclination your parents were going to go to the show? So what happened was Thursday Gardini was like, hey, I saw some older people that looked like you. I think they were at the show and saw your set. So I texted my brother. I was like, were they there? And he was like,

maybe yes, maybe no that means yes so i thought yes and then i texted them after the show and said how was the show left me on red for until four o'clock the next day so i finally called my mom and i was like were you at the show last night she was like no dickhead i was bartending and i was like okay are you coming again she's like i didn't know you had shows this weekend. So wait, you guys never even spoke at this show. So as of right now, in this moment, Friday afternoon, I think that they I thought that they were at the show originally that night. You don't it was like you just you you didn't acknowledge them visually. I didn't see you can't see anything.

So I got off stage Thursday, thought they were at the show. They didn't answer my text Thursday night when I said, how was the show? Friday, I call my mom and I'm like, were you at the show last night? Because I needed to know. It wasn't confirmed fully. And she was like, no, but do you have shows this weekend? We'll come Saturday. Which one should we go to?

I was like, early show. Expecting them to come Saturday. weekend will come Saturday. Which one should we go to? I was like early show expecting them to come Saturday. Friday night I get off stage and my mom sends me that group photo of 11 of my family members in shirts. So they saw me, but they wanted to make

sure that you didn't have that in your head. Yes. Dwayne, you bet. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, good family. Good family. It's heartwarming that it's gone from your parents not being able to know that you do comedy to them coming to your show in your merch. Yeah, that was cool. It's really cool.

Yeah. That's really cool. And a guy went to your live show, sent me a picture of him and your dad. Yep. Tyler. Shout out to Tyler from Wheeling. Yeah. Shout out to all the people that came out to Philly.

It was a super fun weekend. Oh, yeah. Felt a lot of love. That's good. Next week, last episode from New York City. Yeah. Is it? Yep. We have. Okay. Right.

Well, we have the week of the 28th, 29th, 30th and 31st in August. Okay. So maybe not. Okay. Yeah, maybe not. All right. Well, until then, God bless. Yep.