A New Untold Story - A Moan & Pumbaa - A New Untold Story: Ep. 377

Episode Date: January 4, 2024

the boys are under the weather, sorry for the short pod. be back strong next week Ads: Hellofresh - Go to https://HelloFresh.com/anusfree and use code anusfree for FREE breakfast for life! One breakfast item per box while subscription is active. BetterHelp - A New Untold Story is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/NEW today to get 10% off your first month.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, a new untold story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad free on Amazon Music. Let's do you, you, you, you. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Nice. Trace dos uno. 3, 2, 1. Do it in Spanish.

Trace dos uno. It's Trace dos uno. I was trying to do five, but that's too much. Trace dos uno I was trying to do five but that's too much Tres dos uno Cinco Cuatro It's too hard no one can do that Ocho nueve diez That was in order?

From ten to one That's your reply to what I'm going to say. No, you're just going to say, No, that's a new untold story. Hey, is that story old or told? No, baby! It's a new untold story. A new untold story. It's a fresh, big untold story. A new untold story. A new, untold story. Can we start the show?

We're just, no. Oh, okay. No, we're good to go with a clap, though. Anus episode 100. I have the fucking sniffles. I don't feel good at all come on it's episode 377 377 should we thanks for all the eyes and ears in 23 yeah big shout out to all the eyes and ears um and thanks to everybody who watched that last winnowley episode. He crushed. Yeah. I appreciate that. He appreciates that. Yeah.

Yeah. 377. The first episode of 24. Yeah. Oh, here we go. No Sutherland, but we're about to give you an hour of Bauer. It's the KB year. Yeah.

Yes. Yeah. Kobe Bryant, 24. Or the Bauer year. So it's both of you. Balls in my court. K the Bauer year. So it's both of you. Balls in my court. KB Bauer year. Yep.

What's going to change about you this year? Well, if you thought there was a lot of Keefe in 23, 24 is going to be even Keefer. No Sutherland. Yeah. Yeah. Should I talk or are you sitting on some stuff my goal for

2024 is one of these 12 months I'm going to be white boy of the month and I am ashamed to admit I know what you're talking about I want a gay dude to rank me gay men who rank the top 10 white boys of the month. Yeah, and I've been watching all of them,

just these gay guys, and they're just like seeing that guy from Normal People or they're seeing like the guy who wanted to send the Snapchat about making the girl squirt. Noah sent... Noah sent... He's still on the list?

He's on the list, but he's always ranked 9 or 10. But I want to pop up above a gay guy's head and I want to have him say, who is that? And then put me at like, I mean, the ideal goal would be is he's waiting for Jacob Elordi and he has his one spot and it lands on me. And then he'll he'd do something real, probably fucking gay. Yeah. No.

Like that. You wasted Elordi too early. Yeah. so i've seen people throw a lordy at two put them at one put them at one just because you might you might end up with me i'll if somebody could remake that filter just have me i would really love that all the same just you replacing the the we are the millers guy yeah the one that had the fucking glow up. He's this generation's Neville Longbottom. Yeah. Even a bigger glow up than Neville.

Don't say that. I haven't been hip to what Neville Longbottom got sexy. Yeah, I get that. This guy's name is Will Poulter. Yeah, but he was a dweeb. Yeah. He was a bigger dweeb. And Neville could do magic

oh no he could hardly do magic he had a fucking toad i think his power up was just being anxious on camera current day neville longbottom i wonder whoa yeah he's i want him on the list with me that's like british hot though it's different british hot is different go back to that british hot is regular grotesque dude that's all uh torso like i don't know if that is that a good face but the the hair oh we're being i've been watched too many of these the chest hair distribution is phenomenal oh that's what he came from good for him yeah i still can't see and this is the i lost my first of all fuck this though because yeah, that little boy wasn't sexy. What a glow up.

No, that's just regular. Yeah, that's weird. Damn, who thought he'd be a man? Yeah, British hot is regular grotesque. British ugly. I can't even... What's British ugly? It's almost hot.

It's almost like a spectacle. Yeah. All right. Yeah. Alright. Yeah. Yeah. Glow ups are just boys becoming men. Just be like, damn, yeah, I didn't want to fuck that child. It's crazy what happened.

Now I want to fuck that grown child. Wait, that would be the funniest thing to say. Just like, I want to go fuck that grown child. Oh my god, yeah, I can't believe that he aged. He looks exactly the same. He looks like how you would expect him to look 15 years later. Oh my god, I can't believe his glow up. That looks like the same person because it fucking is.

No, I put... Yeah, I put. Yeah. Same guy. Same guy. Yeah. I want to be white boy of the month. I just need to figure out my best pick.

Rudy, you're fucking seething with jealousy. I was just thinking about my goal, actually. I was like really thinking about goals this year because I haven't been on my goal shit. Yeah. And then. You didn't get it done in the Jordan year? No, no, no. It was a lockout for me. But I realized I only have one thing that

disencompasses everything. What is it? My goal this year is to be lucky. You want to be lucky? That's a good goal. I just want to be lucky. It's actually the opposite of a good goal. How do you progress toward that? Exactly. You're on pace. I want to get to 90 pounds this year i just want to be that's that's the whole thing is i just be lucky like it's the ultimate goal the hardest goal to attain you need goals need steps of progress where you know like oh i'm getting better at this i will have all if i'm

lucky i will have all the white boys of the month are just getting down to double digits that's what i'm going to do they're getting getting lighter yeah i want to get i want to get to double digits. That's what I'm going to do. Getting lighter? Yeah, I want to get to double digits this year. You want to be in the same weight class as Timothy Shalab. Yeah. You should get down to 90 pounds. Can we check the BMI chart? What's 99.62? I think I'm getting a fever.

I'm losing it. Could I survive? That's fine. Kyle, you lost all your cheese weight didn't you holy shit that i'm still uh internally goofed from the cheese yeah you were just in the bathroom for a very long time it's my stomach are we going to talk about my gut health is so poor and it's affecting my mental health and it was all the cheese and i know it was all the cheese and i know and i knew immediately i knew like 10 into my cheese run that oh this is too much cheese and i you knew 10 in it was one of those 10 was too

much cheese i was at 10 of all the cheese i ate that day and i was like this is disgusting yeah yeah this is past the point of no return too much cheese in the jordan year you got a joke for that no no but i remember um it's like a cool thing to call like age 23 jordan your jordan year yeah i remember we were at kansas the university of kansas March Madness. Yeah. And I was playing beer pong at Sigma Chi. This was a year ago. Yeah. Against like pledges.

And it was, I was having the time of my life. I think like an EDM remix of, what is it? Glass, Heat Waves was playing and I was in like i was so happy i just celebrated hitting an island and i think i made a joke i'm like i'm too old i'm too old to be hitting islands like word to epstein word to epstein i don't think anybody got it no i turned to the dude i was like i'm too old to be here he's like what are you is it oh is it your word is it your jordan year no i'm 29 and a half but luckily we left there and just went to another house party yeah yeah just lived it up just refreshed yeah no oh my god oh yeah i'm embarrassed for myself for doing that sure it a lot have we i look back 100 episodes ago episode 277 oh interesting what were we title was you nutted 93 we were so much better back then we were you nutted 93 was that about

jerking off i'm trying to think jerking off was it on the hijacking Yeah. That you nutted 93. Boy. Or was it my cons like our conception? Yeah. Cause you were born in 90. Oh, I was, I was born early 93. So I was conceived in 92.

So that wouldn't be that. Well, you could. Yeah. Any, you not at 93 babies. You, you not at 93.

No, I'm a 92 nut. Yeah. I'm a 91, 91, not mook. 95. He's a everything bagel conception what's that what's that mean it's poppy c1 everywhere all over the hole all around the hole not in the hole not in the hole. Not in the hole. Yeah, so is your nut year the same as your December? My nut year? I don't fuck with people whose nut year is the same as their birth year.

It's just they have a weird That's most people. I might have been a 96 nut because I'm September 15th. So I could have been the same year. As who? as the nut oh yeah dude you were born the same year as your nut

that's crazy my nut was born a year before me my nut would have been a great ahead yeah same wow that's why we're so wise right yeah same wow that's why we're so wise that it right this is what a bad show we have

truly awful yeah um what else we got going on all right whether your resolution for the bauer year is to save money eat better or stress less yeah of course it is no one is to save money, eat better, or stress less. Yeah, of course it is. No one wants to lose money, eat worse, and stress more. So here's the deal. HelloFresh is here to help you do all three of those things. Say hello, yeah, to your most delicious year yet with fresh ingredients and chef-crafted recipes at a price you'll like, right to your door let's talk because you know about convenience you know the delivery to the door is the epitome of convenience and you know about the price we'll get to that later but it's cheap it's valuable let's talk about the quality each hello fresh box is packed with farm fresh ingredients and

everything arrives pre-portion right yeah yeah yeah you get it you get it uh farm fresh ingredients and everything arrives pre-portion rate yeah yeah yeah you get it you get it uh farm fresh ingredients don't let recipe boredom strike but here's the deal they have so many options i think it was 50 the last time i heard it's probably 75 plus now and i'll be honest i got my picky nanny. I got my grandmother. The fact, Mook, the fact factor in HelloFresh are directly associated. Yes. Okay. HelloFresh bot factor.

Yes. I got, I made her year in Christmas by getting her, the factor set. Her response, she texted me this factor and then must have hit the enter key like 20 times and then l and i was like oh shit and then she was like kyle i'm so excited that i can't message right it came and i love it i just had the green peppers and beef so far. So good. Taste high fiber, which I need and veggies. That was a winner. Lucky pick. I would have this again.

She reported back a week later. I am factored out. 60 meals were delivered to me in three days. Your father had to call them to stop. I have no room left. So I had to give a box to Brian. Thanks so much. I have enough for almost two months.

Very much appreciate it and now her favorite is the shrimp um as well as the green peppers and beef so if that's not an endorsement i don't know what type of person you are so make saving time yeah make saving time your breeziest resolution with quick convenient recipes recipes delivered right to you. I'm telling you guys, check it out. Go to HelloFresh.com slash anus free and use code anus free for free breakfast for life. Free breakfast for life. One breakfast item per box.

That's free breakfast for life at HelloFresh.com slash anus free with code anus free. Kyle, I don't want to talk about it oh we talked about the cheese i faced that shame i didn't see i didn't want to talk i didn't see you fucking kiss i kissed i didn't see you kiss i kissed you were in and out like a bandit i kissed you you what are you jacob Larson with that kiss. If you kissed, what song was playing when the midnight struck? Celebrate good times. Exactly. I don't fucking know.

I was kissing. I don't know what song was playing. You don't listen while you're kissing? No. Oh, I do. Oh, the contraire. What are you talking about about i'm locked into the stimuli of the kiss where were your hands i saw i'm a wrestler no they were behind your head under

you kiss with your hands behind your head i saw you go like this like an odell be Beckham pose from 2015. I saw you kiss with your hands behind your eyes. I did, yeah. That was for the one time. Yeah, man. That was wild. It was like you were on a pool float. Who's that guy lounging? And then I go to the front of you

another head you did and i knew you'd be watching me regardless and you were yeah were you sitting down or standing up uh you were sitting she was standing that's actually pimp as fuck thank you rudy thank you yeah i picture nick running his own hands through his hair when he kisses yeah you ever do the uh kiss and look oh yeah what's the kiss i get reckless with that you ever get scared you get reckless with the kiss and look like open your eyes yeah i take a peek but what if what if the peepers are looking back at you man that's the thrill oh my god so wait you just do it for the gamble yeah yeah yeah if you both lock eyes it's like you guys know you register oh we're both freaks yeah your eyes were closed as fuck like too tight Your eyes were closed as fuck.

Like too tight. All right. Come on. Whatever, man. You did good. You did really good. Sorry, I had to get out of the way. I'm not meaning to air you out.

Everybody listening, KB your girl this weekend. Just go in. KB the M. That shit's a moan. Are you trying to get slang to take off? I feel like it's easy. It's a moan. Are you trying to get slang to take off? I feel like it's easy. It's a moan. That's a moan. A moan can be a bad thing.

That shit's a moan. I don't know. Maybe not that. You know what I liked today was belt to ass. You like belt to ass? Belt to ass. That shit's a moan. I heard that.

I heard Patrick Beverly use it. And I was immediately, you know, when you hear something for the first time, it doesn't even register it, but you know it's a hit. Yeah. I don't know when to use that. Yeah. Belt to ass. I also don't want to take it.

I think we should get catchphrases. We're a catchphrase-less show. A lot of people we work with have them. Yeah. I guess mostly sports as like family. And then they also have, what should we talk about today? Eddie has bang bang. That might be it.

We need a catchphrase. Or just like a slang. We need our own slang. I could get used to a moan. Yeah, I think that's easy and it's cool. That shit's a moan. A moan in Pumbaa. What can we replace with Pumbaa?

That shit's a moan. A moan and a glide. That shit was a moan and a glide. Next time we're out at a bar, Mook, I'm going to introduce you as Pumbaa. Pumbaa. That shit was a moaning. Next time we're out at a bar, Mook, I'm going to introduce you as Pumbaa. Wait. I think Rudy's, one of Rudy's people thinks my name is Oscar.

Yeah. What? Yeah, I introduced him as Oscar. Rudy's people? One of my peeps? Yeah. What does that mean? One of your peeps.

Oh, in real life. Yeah. Oh, okay. I introduced him as Oscar. But I'm going to roll with Pumbaa now. Yeah, Mook's Pumbaa. Yeah, I was named after the fucking Warthog. That's a cool nickname, though.

Not a nickname. Legal. Yeah. I don't think the movie came out yet. Yeah, it did. You're named after the Broadway play. Yeah, it freaking did. The nut existed.

Yeah, it did come out. Okay, yeah, you were named. Your parents were watching that. Your mom was rubbing her was rubbing her belly she's like wait that's a beautiful name for my boy Pumba Pumba yeah dude I like the spelling too

spelled exactly like the character I didn't know there was two A's that's like the exotic Afrikaans yeah amon and pumba oh yeah never mind what was um pumbas what was his legacy i don't even know anything yeah what is pumbas lasting legacy yeah thank you exactly that, what is Pumbaa's lasting legacy? Yeah, thank you. Exactly that. What is Pumbaa's lasting legacy?

Hmm. Pumbaa is a major character in Disney's 1994 animated film, The Lion King. Wait, what's that term? Durantagonist? Duterantagonist. Duterantagonist. Oh, it's probably an antagonist

part of a doodle. Most animals are dismissive of Pumbaa due to his repugnant odor, but the remains happy-go-lucky by following a philosophy called Hakuna Matata. What is... Yeah, is Hakuna Matata his legacy?

What are you laughing at? It's just so... I felt bad for Mook. It makes sense. Pumbaa had problems with gas when he was younger. But it's like every reason to be depressed but remains positive. Dude, you're very Pumbaa.

They mention that Pumbaa once went to a water hole in the savannah, but let out a very smelly gas causing monkeys to fall from trees to the ground. Yeah, but I want to fall from trees to the ground. Yeah, but I want to know Pumbaa's lore. I need a Pumbaa prequel. Yeah.

Google Pumbaa like nudes. That's an important part of the lore. Wait, what's that one website, Rudy? Yeah, click that top one. DeviantArt. Click that. I can't see.

Holy shit, Simba's fucking him. Oh, he's doing the goatsy. Look at that. Wow. Hmm. Wow. We can't show any of this. I'll blur it.

Oh, my word. Oh, there's the other on the side side kyle you kind of look like simba a little bit yeah a little bit you kind of do you really got to work on the pecs these are from flat ass nipples yeah let's i gotta work on the pecs to achieve that yeah yeah it's a flat fucking flat fast over there your chest? Yeah. You got to get down to 99 and work up from scratch. Rebuild. 99. Let's see if we can get that sponsored.

My journey to weigh 99 pounds. You can do it. I couldn't. Yeah, you could. No, we'd all die. Yeah, I think we all couldn't do it. A new untold story is sponsored by BetterHelp. All right, around New Year's, especially with the KB year finally upon us,

we get obsessed with how to change ourselves instead of just expanding on what we're already doing right. Maybe you finally organize one part of your space and you want to tackle another. Maybe you're talking out of your ass. Maybe you're taking your supplements every morning and now you want to actually eat breakfast too. Okay, yeah, good examples. Therapy helps you find your strengths so you can ditch the extreme resolutions. Yeah, you're nitpicking your daily schedule to try to make yourself happier instead of doing something that will directly make you happier therapy okay um

you benefited from it rudy absolutely if you're thinking of starting therapy give better help a try it's entirely online so if you're agoraphobic or just weird and you don't want your therapist in person to be like, I'm trying to help you, but I just can't get past your quirky expressions and your weird haircut. It's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire. flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire. You will get matched with a licensed therapist, and you can switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. It won't be awkward. You don't have to directly confront them to be like, I don't want you. I want someone else. It's entirely online. Celebrate the progress you've already made and visit betterhelp.com slash new okay today to get 10 off your

first month that's betterhelp.com slash new what else we got going on this has been a fucking hour i can't see the screen i lost lost my glasses. Last place they were seen was when we recorded our last episode. I must have taken them off right after. They're gone. They're disappeared. So it's back to this. Again, it's doable.

It's livable. The human face is more attractive to me on average. With the blur. Yeah. I might give up glasses this year contacts man yeah it's a big step thank you thank you have you been trying have you been going out with them no but i can't see for fucking shit what does that mean without with going out why would you ditch glasses? I don't want to be glasses guy anymore.

Take them off. I don't think you're glasses guy. You're just you're just a different person without them. And it's. Strange. Yeah. Thanks, man. That's the exact term I'd want you to describe my face as.

No, no, no, no, no. It's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Rudy? Yes? Fish tank still there? Yeah.

I've been... Has it moved an inch? An inch. While we were gone. Couldn't take it home with me. Exactly what we wanted. I'm doing the research. Have you picked out a fish?

No, I haven't picked out a fish. I'm focused more on the setting. And what I wanted to do. I'm doing the research. Have you picked out a fish? No, I haven't picked out a fish. I'm focused more on like the setting. And what I wanted to do, I mentioned it. What I want to do is I want to recreate Omaha Beach, Normandy. That's okay. Okay. Yeah. Right.

I get it. It's sort of a weird pick. Definitely. Super weird. One, it'd be metal as hell. Two, I don't think. Are you going to have like gore? With army men?

Yeah. I don't know about the army men. Or with fish. Fish. Fish, I don't think- Are you going to have like gore? With army men? Yeah. I don't know about the army men. Or with fish. Fish. I mostly just want to get the beach and the bunkers. So that's any aquarium ever then? Sand and- They don't have bunkers.

They don't have- I want it to be an accurate German bunker. Okay. And one, because it would look cool and it'd be fun to make. Two, I want to conduct an experiment that the fish obviously don't know about yeah sure and the fish uh i want to see where their allegiances lie because if you think about omaha beach there's a very clear one side of the other right nazis yes so i want to see which one of them if which one of fish

which fish are naturally Nazis? If they gravitate towards the bunker, it becomes very clear and then I can... What kind of fish do you think that would be? I can do my part. I don't know. I want... I want you to really overcrowd it. I want there to be like 4,000 fish

in there. I want it to be almost a crime. I want there to be... if you took every fish out there would be like one drop of water right and then like my angle is that like i'm saving them from a fluorescent hell that they live there yeah just go save a bunch of beta fish and put them in one tank and then people are like wait that'll be a good troll tweet is there is just like save 90 beta fish from walmart and it's all of them in one tank. And they're just completely stuffed. Yeah, like a gumball.

And cannibalizing each other. Yeah. Wait, that would be a really good MOOCs Googling hundreds of betta fish. People are still like anti-abuse fish, just so we're clear or no? Or that's raps? I don't know.

I mean, it's weird to me that we can fish, which is like the ultimate torture to me. Yeah. To an animal. Just if you think about the process of a hook going through your mouth and then being reeled in. Yeah. Then suffocating while you're hooked do they feel that my dad is that like the argument yeah i think a lot of people can't feel my dad always told me they couldn't but i think he was saying that just because i felt bad

so i don't know if that's fish can't feel yeah they can respond to pain yeah yeah of course they can it's almost meaner to catch a fish and release it i've seen the origin yeah or just leave the hook in yeah yeah just like because if you're gonna inconvenience them that much you may as well eat me and get some sustenance out of me yeah there's some fish that get fucked up too like they get caught and released like do we have the unreleased video of you clubbing that fish i had no idea fish bled no no we don't we caught the biggest salmon in alaska and they handed you that club with a hook what an experience and you pulled back a little bit so you hit it more blood than i've ever seen and then it just started

flopping again and then you did it again and again and again, and it wouldn't die. And we filmed on a slow-mo 4K cam, and the blood was... And Kyle was smiling ear to ear. Smiling for effect, for the vid, because this is going to be like the grand finale of the Rediscovering America. Yeah, we couldn't use it.

We couldn't use it. Obviously, we ate the fish, and that's what you do. You club it, but you just couldn't get the job done. He made sure to tell me you have to club it to death to put it out of its misery instantaneously. It was more blood than I've ever seen. If you fail to club it to death, especially in repetitive sequences,

it is the equivalent of the the most inhumane form of torture yeah they were like this is like bamboo under the fingernails they didn't say that um yeah so i went halfway through your you're i'm a human this is a this is a creature i can't do this but and so i did like a 40 percent, then 50, then 60, then 70. Fish have nervous systems that comprehend to respond. Oh, I thought that was what they can feel. Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah, we killed Nate the fish.

It was not wasted oh the receptors are in their mouth too they feel pain when they're hooked it's exceedingly painful fuck who would have thunk that yeah you're right I guess

what the wool has been pulled over our eyes if we feel like that wasn't a thing yeah my dad lied to me I've never caught a fish. It's fun. Is it? It's really fun. The feeling of when you feel it catch on the hook is...

Yeah, I'm fine with that. Molly-esque. And I guess it's kind of like gambling. You don't know what fish you're going to pull up. It's like a pack opening. Depends, yeah. Depends. Mook, you were watching people open packs today,

and I don't get the rush of that. Dude, the rush is you can pull a card that changes your life you don't know what you're gonna get ripping open packs is uh fucking exhilarating honestly it's another form of gambling definitely everything people are indoctrinated in gambling so young with pokemon yeah or just like packs and games i got my uh uncle my brain damaged uncle i got him a pack of baseball cards one pack he fucked with it heavy did he did he open it and it's like honestly an infinite baseball pack why because he'll forget he's gonna forget and he's gonna see mookie bets and be like oh fuck oh he got mookie bets hell yeah yeah did he open the pack right then and there big time yeah yeah he liked it a lot and i got

him a book on jimmy hendrix he loves jimmy does he is he like at a point where he's like i know this is a this is a picture of a baseball player yeah yeah he uh so he's fine if anything his baseball knowledge was most unaffected it's this is this those synapses this was an incident yes he was a car accident yeah and but his baseball knowledge my brain damage uncle my brain damage uncle my BDU he was also

not born with it oh yeah incident yeah it's a matter of time if you're an unc out there listening buckle up or else you're just going to get a fucking pack of cards for christmas every year or a weapon that's an unc's worst nightmare imagine getting a pack of baseball cards and then just be like wait am i fucking brain oh no oh no what dude finding out your brain damage would have to suck

yeah for the for 10 minutes do you ever know yeah you do yeah it depends it depends on the person but yeah my uncle my uncle knows he's brain damaged yeah yeah but he moves on to the next thing pretty pretty quick yeah okay yeah that's kind of lucky then. Like a fish. Right. Like a fish. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

He's a chiller though. I want to do a Minecraft server this year. Yeah? Yeah. What are you doing it? I want to build. Is that what you do in Minecraft? Like I don't get it.

It's survival mode. I want to be like Frank Lloyd Wright. Nothing you said made sense to me in that whole sentence. I want to build a house over a waterfall and have all the furniture attached to the walls. It takes an insane amount of commitment and time because I've researched. I've seen a guy who makes entire kingdoms, mushroom kingdoms. From Mario? Something like that. That's exactly what that is.

Did you watch a video of a man making a mushroom kingdom and how high were you oh yeah yeah yes because you're not interested in mario or minecraft hate them both or kingdoms hate kingdoms yeah speaking of abusing fish and brain damage oh no he's not doing as bad as people want him to be doing yeah you know i'm talking about yeah he's living it up yeah what a life i watched his 2023 recap video and he just has like the dream fantasy life if you look at it in slideshow form just giddy as hell yeah traveling the world to like some of the best tourist destinations

on the globe hanging out with buddies drinking the funnest cocktails oh novelty drinks I was wrong what I thought you were talking about somebody who would go to a fish show That we know Wow it took that long

I thought you were talking about World of T-Shirts He like beat up a fish Yeah he stomped a fish But it was already dead a hawk dropped it Yeah he's Yeah photo wise Photo wise yeah he looks a little I think half of his face is paralyzed now

I think so yeah that's fine but he's not he's like so he's going to like Indianapolis and West Lafayette with the same vigor he put out a video he put out a video

saying oh I'm going to Indiana and you're not. Yeah, he's flexing that. Yeah, flexing going to Indiana. I've been enjoying the guy that's like his beat writer now. The one who tabulates. The guy who keeps track of his. Blood alcohol level and the amount of drinks he's had. That guy fell into my lap.

And that's a bizarre bizarre hobby when you really break it down like think about if your online digital footprint was tracking i think this guy is losing his sanity yes obsessively tracking every drink that shirts consumes yes to the point where he'll like look at he can own it'll be a veiled can and he'll look at like the rim and the the tint like uh reflecting off of it and like do a deep dive into what drink it could be just just so he could put accurate abv in calories but they did jerry just get a hole in one this would be i don't think so that sounded like a that sounded like a groan not not like a moan.

I don't think that was a moan. This has been incredible content. Our... Oh, my God. Is this the shot? Wait. Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh my god. Bro. Fasoli's looking actually vexed. Oh. No. My god. This has been incredible.

That is... I don't know how you don't... 28,000 people watching. You got to cry at that point, right? Yeah. 19 hours, 41 minutes. I can't even fathom 19 hours. Oh, my god.

It wasn't meant to be. This has been incredible. It's the best thing ever. Yeah. I don't ever want it to end. 2099 strokes. That's a lifetime. A lifetime of strokes oh oh we the how do i put this

we the men we have to change in the new year we have to be realistic with ourselves in our biology and we have to go down to three milligrams we have to make that i'm with you the norm i'm with you i've been uh i less as the as it's popularized i finding a three guy is so hard and i know you six men want to deep down want to be three guys i i can see it in your face in your scowls as you put on a mask to pretend to enjoy the the high of a six even though you're feeling more negative than positive the three would do you fine we got to become three guys i feel like you're talking directly to me i think i think everyone is a six man i'm a 12 people are upping i'm a 12 man and i don't see the tolerance isn't increasing for me so i think we just need to be three guys we need to as a society we need to be like oh

i'm a three guy just admit it to yourself i'm a three guy but why like what's the point to get a smoother longer lasting fulfilling buzz so you're looking doesn't have any you're trying to help it has nothing to do with yeah i think a lot a lot of people are trying to be six guys yeah is it nothing to do with the fact that you can't handle glistening i'm sweating yeah there's oh my god yeah i became pretty clear halfway through that so i put in a six and i'm like i'm demoing the flu at game stop did you ever use the demo games i love demoing the games dude did you ever use the demo games i love demo in the games dude yeah the do they still have those oh dude you feel me yeah the sweat is increasing rapidly uh-huh yeah you're in it you're in it all right you can take it out oh i did i pocketed it

that's sad it's bad it's still wraps yeah it's still wraps jesus um okay health-wise yeah i am even like i'm not a i'm not a 225 guy on the incline press either i mean maybe i can get it up three to five times but that i'm not getting the ideal burn i want the two plates and i'm just not that guy yet i'm not a two-plate guy either i'm with you i'm not saying i'm not a two-plate guy i'm saying for the for an incline press at the four and no i get what you're saying you're not a two-plate and me neither it's fine it's good you know what else i'm not i'm not a five milligram guy on the eddies on the what on the edwards on the on the three chi edible who's a five milligram guy i think a lot of people oh i thought we were in the 20s 30s

40s 50s no dude i'm hitting i'm hitting little little little like bb gun hits like six times a day just like little ones yeah okay that's that's only because i'm going sober for a month so now i'm going the pendulum swings i'm just awesome didn't you say your technique is if you want to stop doing a vice like edibles you overdo it overdo it to a point where you are so disgusted yes physically and mentally with yourself that you have to stop yeah it's sort of i feel that yeah it's like the heroin method like you never had like somebody like dabbled in heroin and then quit it's like you got to go all the way to the bottom yeah it makes it easier crises are a lot easier to handle than like inconveniences i know that's how i feel yeah

so you got to force yourself into a crisis and then over correct on something else because i went i went so deep on the edibles and then i went i went and then i jumped in the ipa vat uh-huh oh yeah all all booze and now i'm swinging back the other way so we're just going to keep doing this until i croak oh just dying here over a six over a six jesus this has got to be um this is this shit oh kb here come on come on no but you asked me earlier if i have any punishments lined up i'm trying to i'm kind of i'm kind of trying to get away from the punishment game like i think of a one that i find very funny and stimulating but i had a i sort of a grow-up

moment where i was like i don't know if i want to just keep being like i felt like a rodeo clown yeah which might be hard. It's the formula that works. Look at Jerry. Yeah, I know. But it, it, a certain like to be total, I just ran out of ideas. Like I did, I was streaming for a year and then I just was like, how many different ways can I just keep doing this?

So I'm trying to mix it up a little bit. The problem is that then I'm reliant upon my own entertainment rather than buffoonery yeah which is scary it's hard to do that consistently right both are i know yeah yeah and also it's like part of me was like i'm 30 right can I still just be this clown? I think that that's a cope like where it is a coat. We look. Yeah. Oh, you get nauseous.

Yeah, I'm sick. Sick. Oh, boy. All right. We'll give him five. Like, see you guys next week might be a wrap yeah yeah

oh my oh my goodness why don't you uh sign us off Kyle again thanks y'all for the all the ears and eyes

and and the 23 I swear I mean it's the most to us I swear we fuck with that we appreciate y'all so much um

yeah stick with us we'll stick with you it's all I mean it's all love mm mm mm mm