A New Untold Story - A New Untold Story: Ep. 234 - Live (Sort Of) From Florida

Episode Date: April 16, 2021

|| A New Untold Story pres by Dude Wipes: Ep. 234 || The boys take part in the Inaugural PG-13's Award Show! || Producer: Tyler GoochmanYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, A New Untold Story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad-free on Amazon Music. A new untold story is presented by Dude Wipes. Dudes, we need to have a serious chat about your bathroom habits. It's time to quit shitty, scratchy toilet paper and switch to dude wipes. Dude wipes are an extra-large, flushable wipe made with plant-sourced fibers designed to give your anus a cleaner, more refreshing finish than TP after dropping a deuce out of said anus. Think about it.

When you wash your face, hands, or body, use water to get yourself clean. So when it comes to the dirtiest thing we do, taking a big poop, why don't we use dry toilet paper? Not any longer. Use dude wipes. They'll change your life. Your butthole will thank you. You'll never look at an empty toilet paper roll the same way again. Be prepared for any situation with dude wipes. They'll come in at home, on the off, they come in all kinds of options. At home, on the go options, you can find them on Amazon, Walmart, Target, nationwide, or you can go to dudewipes.com, and that's what we recommend, because you can use promo code ANUS15, the number one five, A-N-U-S one-5 for 15% off your entire order.

Quit having a dirty asshole. This is me, genuinely speaking, off copy. There's nothing worse than having a dirty asshole. Girls hate it. You'll hate it. Don't do it. Get dude wipes. Have a spotless, spotless asshole.

I personally have the cleanest butthole out of all my homies. And they clown me every once in a while, but when it comes to getting girls, guess what? It works. Trust me. Dude wipes. Anus 15. So Donnie, we're here with you, the wonton Don. You said we could ask you anything about your travels. You've been

all across the world. You've lived in China for 8 to 10 years. You've lived in China for 8 to 10 years. You've been to Asia. China, yeah. It's a big part of it. Tajikistan, Thailand, Cambodia. Central Asia.

Laos, Philippines. Colombia. We're going to ask you about pussy, probably. Nick's going to start. Yeah, I'm well-versed. You said you were an open book i am people you've met the cuisine you've tried i just have one question about uh about pussy uh how how'd you get it in like such a language barrier um yeah um so i mean my first six months in china did not get laid um and it's

yes that's like nothing yeah i've done six months like back to back to back without getting laid yes but you know there is a stereotype that oh it's so easy to get laid in china if you're a white guy you'll just be rolling in pussy. Yeah, that's why there's all those... All the Asian stereotypes. The Chinese stereotypes. Yeah, you just slip and fall into some Chinese... If you're white, you would...

No, no, no. There's a stereotype for white people in Asia that they go there because it's easy to get laid. That's why there's all the sex pats in Thailand. Sex pat? Oh, okay. Yes, yeah. There's quite a few.

Normally, they're like 40 to 60-year-old British men. But yeah, you meet a lot of those types in Thailand just with like 22-year-old girlfriends. So you went to China. You were there for 10 years. Yes. I've heard you speak Chinese. It's rudimentary at best. Yes.

I've heard you speak Chinese. It's rudimentary at best. So it would be like a preschooler in a man's body trying to get laid by talking at a bar. Like I kind of want to do the Billy Madison thing where it's like when I arrived in China, instead of teaching preschool like i was if i could just start going to a chinese preschool and do like a month in preschool a month in kindergarten a month in first grade a month in a second grade class i feel like i would learn chinese because like i could i can speak probably chinese at like a second grade level math so you discovered just the school system the school i could learn a language i started but i think it would be... Wait a minute. I have the best idea.

Why don't we do that for learning everything? It would be a funny... I didn't want to just go to... At the easiest level, maybe even when they're kids. But I didn't want to take Chinese classes with people my age. I think it would be very funny content-wise if I just like... Because you could put me in a Chinese kindergarten and i could talk to all the chinese kindergartners because i probably know around the same amount of chinese as them so i would just learn i would i would grow with the

kids it'd be like billy madison you know except in china it would be the exact plot of billy mad except instead of learning all the subjects you're just learning how to speak yeah yes um but yeah back to pussy. Yeah, please. What the fuck happened to us? How did we get sidetracked? We talked, we got into the education system from pussy. Yes.

Embarrassed. So the first time I got laid, it was due to a little trick. Do you want? What? Just tread lightly. Did you trick her? No, no. Well, a trick means. Oh oh you meant like a signature move

yes a move saying trick implies oh yeah the worst yeah and then i realized that you can just pay for pussy in china it's pretty cheap yeah start to get laid all the time um but you're a man of honor so no no so there was so there was a bar called perry's they had all sorts of fun deals there they had um they literally had free cigarette sundaes and you just show up on sundays they had platters of cigs that's the place to fuck yeah yeah yeah yeah um but uh what i did you know it's very played out to buy a girl a drink like say if you see a cute girl and you're like hey hey waiter send her over a free one and tell her it's for me i switch it up every girl is expecting that i started sending girls a free cup of cream of mushroom soup um and yeah bar that that people are all just drinking cocktails probably. Yeah, well, some people go to have a meal.

Finger food. They had a food menu. They weren't known for their food. Most of their food was very bad. But, yeah, they boiled up a mean vat of cream of mushroom soup. Yeah, yeah, a mean vat. The first few times I tried it tried it didn't work well but i would just be like hey can you send that cute girl over there um a bowl of soup and then uh and and

here's the thing that for the listeners who our listeners don't get laid you want to fuck a girl with a belly full of maybe the heaviest of chowders just you could talk that it gets them it gets to break the ice, you know? Maybe it's so she knows who I am. So then the next time she sees me, like, oh, that nice man bought me a bowl of soup. I want to have sex with him. Yeah, the first few times I did it, it did not work out well. Like, I sent them the soup, and then I looked over, like, after the waiter awkwardly hands her the soup.

She's like, what? And then the waiter points over at me, and I'm just like after the waiter awkwardly hands her the soup. She's like, what? And then the waiter points over at me and I'm just waving across the bar. Ni hao. Is that ni hao? Yes. Ni hao. Ni hao. And then I walked over afterwards and I was like, so how'd you like the soup?

Wait, how do you say that in Chinese? Ni xi wan sopa. I don't know. That's soap in Spanish. Yeah, I don't know. That's soap in Spanish. Yeah, I don't know. I know how to say mushroom is mogu. Yeah, and the cream of mushroom is like the bottom of the barrel of soups.

Whoa, no, no, no. It would be at the back of my drawers growing up, and you would consider it at your hungriest, but it would be after. I don't know. I feel like a good cream of mushroom soup is far superior to most soups. It would be below the thyme and nutmeg

on the hunger hierarchy. No, wait. You're saying you would rather eat just thyme and nutmeg than cream of mushroom soup? I think it's definitely a step below lobster bisque, but it's a step above... I'm with Kyle.

If I am in an empty apartment and all there is is the spice rack and a cream of mushroom soup, I'm going to be shoveling cumin down my throat and just be like, Damn, Nick, you want some cream of mushroom soup? No, I had a bunch of turmeric. All right, that's low. I mean, you're not a big fungus guy. Yeah, so you said the first two times it didn't work. Yeah, but then it's just a

very endearing thing like that girl is never gonna forget you because you're like she's like that's the first man that has ever sent me soup sent me com yeah oh shit i didn't even realize that calm calm calm calm calm com but it could it sounds it sounds a little bit like cum. So have any of these girls eaten the soup graciously? Not that I saw her. No, there were some people that tried to be polite and took a few sips. Okay. I mean, soup is not far removed from a cocktail. It pretty much is a cocktail with chunks in it.

And no alcohol. And hot. with with chunks in it and no alcohol but yeah hot a bloody mary is pretty much and an alcoholic soup but but cold and with alcohol yeah so yeah so it's like alcoholic gazpacho is what a bloody mary is right if you think about it yeah bloody mary is alcohol but then again we're talking calm we're talking cream yeah yeah we're talking calm. We're talking cream of mushroom. Yeah, we're talking calm. Yeah, booze wouldn't go too well on that. It would be like a white Russian with shrooms, right? Yeah, I guess.

And alcoholic cream of mushroom is, yeah, it's just a white Russian with a little bit of fungus. But yeah, so it's a good way, like way like the girls would know me and they're like okay he's got a wild side so that's not like you could still do that here i know i've never tried it in the u.s i really want to i think like i don't want to give you guys homework on your own podcast but i think if you guys could just each send uh a bowl of soup to a girl over the weekend and let me know how it goes. Yeah, I think that works. And especially if you don't want to buy her a drink because she's wearing a mask, you don't know if she's cute. You send her over soup.

It's cheaper. And it's pulled down that mask. And it's like if you send her over a drink, the girl's like, this guy is trying to get me drunk so he can take advantage of me. But if you send over soup, you're like, this guy just wants to take care of me and make sure I'm not cold or starve. Yeah, so I mean, hey, I don't think it's a move that like would only work in China. I think it's pretty much – yeah. I don't think it's the move that's doing anything i think it's just like that yeah like if it worked one in four times it was one in four

women that just were attracted to you that wanted to sleep with you yes i think actually the whole just like being tall and white thing uh oh so back to what you said it's just yes the stereotype actually is true i just had to work up the nerve to talk to girls so yeah um yeah it's not too hard to get laid there and it's not just it's not it's not because you're white it's because of the like it's it's like it's the same reason why people in the u.s want to bang a foreign exchange student or like someone who's not from the u.s it's seen as uh very very exotic and unique so when you're out in china you're like oh it'd be it'd be cool to bang a white guy the same way you were fine being fetishized yes i was fine with that but it's like i mean it's like you know like, oh, I want to bang a chick with like a French accent, you know?

Is that, are you fetishizing the French accent? Yeah. If you, is there a certain, is there a certain foreign accent that you're the most attracted to? Huh. There's, I like, I'm into like craniofacial anomalies. You mean the people who get a horn added? No, like disorders and defects. The artificial.

Ah, yes. I think that's a prized kill. Cleft lip? He's been fucking around with a girl with just a cube head. Okay. She looks like if Casey Neistat was born in the 1800s. Never had a sip of water. Yes.

Her name is Diana. Is it Diana? We just call her Di, which is hilarious because she's a cube. And her life expectancy is significantly lower than the average person. Having a cubed head is not good for you? Princess Di. I think it's regional. There's certain things you have to do in a specific region

in order to give yourself the best chances. For instance, we're in Florida now. I have a gator tooth necklace on. Nick has a puka shell. You have a gator tooth necklace on. Nick has a puka shell. You have a fake shark tooth. Yeah, and no one really cared about us until we put these on. Yeah.

But if we went to Wheeling, we would go, we would plop D's. I mean, that's just that's like a fun way to meet chicks. Plopping D's? Yeah. Yeah, so for the listener, we would go to to the Ohio River, bring a girl and just be like, hey, do you want to go plop D's? And the girls were always like, ah.

And I was like, I'll do it. You can watch. And then we just would go plop D's, which is you go to the river bank and you have just a bag of used, for the most part, D batteries. And you just throw them into the river. Yeah. It was like more progressive towns would go just to the driving range. But we would fill up a bucket or a knapsack with D batteries

because they had the best plop in the river. So you wouldn't even try to skip the batteries? It was more about like who... No, skipping stones was for like the private school kids. So this was about who could get the best plop. It was, yeah, you would fill up your knapsack with D batteries. You would raid like the flashlights and the air mattress pumps and what have you in your house.

My mom's rule was like, don't use your father's Ds. Don't plop your father's Ds. And wait till they're dead because we could use the D's. Don't plop your father's D's. And wait till they're dead because we could use the D's. But the poor kids, they would bathe A's. Yeah, so like

everybody wanted... D's were hard to come by. They were the most expensive battery. And the best splash. The poorest of the poor kids would bathe A's. So they would go to their little brother's Game Boy Color and take out his four single A's and try to come up... Triple A's, actually.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are the really small ones. Yeah, and they would come up with us and be like, hey, can I plop? And we're just like, yeah, okay. And they would throw their uh you know uh triple a triple a batteries and they would they would they would just bathe them it wouldn't make a splash not not a plop to be heard they would just float down the river uh but i remember i got in huge trouble power went out in our house and i was like oh fuck

my dad went upstairs to go get the big police mag light. It was like a 12-pound flashlight to illuminate the whole house. And he picked it up because it was heavy with a lot of force. Hit himself in the nose. Started bleeding. I took out the Ds. I snuck the Ds out. I just heard my dad yell.

He just like yelled my name. My mom looks at me. She's like, you plopped your father's D's. Yeah. He can relate, though. He probably used to plop D's back in his day. He still does to this day. Okay. There was the kids. You wanted to just throw them

because there was always the try-hard who would throw it as far and high as possible in the air to try to get the best plop. His arm would be worn out by the fourth D. He's the same to try to get the best plop. His arm would be worn out by the fourth D. He's the same kid who sprinted the first lap of the mile and then ended up vomiting strudel cream by the end. Yeah.

Kool-Aid stayed on his mouth. You have to be strategic when you're plopping Ds. Dude, you know what a solid business would be if you threw on a snorkel or if you just got the full-on scuba gear you started collecting all the d's oh no no you could sell the d's you can't you cannot you cannot replop a d that was like rule number one i remember a kid someone gave you like a rusty battery you'd be like no way yeah i need like a fresh one his name was rusty battery and he'd be like, no way. I need a fresh one. His name was Rusty Battery.

And he came up with, like, those aren't new D's. He was like, yeah, they are. Look, it's starting to corrode. Ah, yes. You know what is a good business idea, though? Pre-measured ingredients, mouth-watering seasonal recipes

that are delivered right to your door. Skip the trips to the grocery store and count on HelloFresh to make home cooking easy, fun, and affordable. You know, Donnie, you like to eat, right? Yeah, I like to eat and cook. Yeah, well, you know what sucks? Meal planning. It's stressful. Grocery store trips suck, too.

Well, now you can cut both of those out and you can enjoy cooking and get dinner on the table in 30 minutes or less. How's that sound? Wow. How's 25 plus recipes sound to choose from each week? Vegetarian meals, craft burgers, extra special gourmet options. There's something for everyone to enjoy with recipes designed and tested by professional chefs and nutritional experts to ensure deliciousness and simplicity. I, uh,

I remember I use HelloFresh two weeks ago. Uh, it was a cutlet pork cutlet, I believe. And I had a girl over and I know she was like, how'd you make this? And I was just like, it's just a,

like a family recipe. She was floored. It was incredible. And, uh, you can use Hello And I was just like, it's just like a family recipe. She was floored. It was incredible. And you can use HelloFresh now and use code UNTOLD12, UNTOLD12, for 12 free meals, including free shipping.

HelloFresh.com, UNTOLD12, one, two. So at the time of recording this, we were doing a trip in florida uh we just left a spiritualist camp this is a town what was it called donnie casadega casadega yeah it's the the largest concentration of mediums in the southwest mediums uh profession not like body size wide oh yeah they would be larges yeah they tended towards

the large size yeah there weren't many yeah um but we went there we've got uh got all kind of psychic readings done got our chakras realigned and uh there was a phenomena there um aside from us all women women love psychics uh it's like the fishing for women is going to psychics you go there and you sit and you waste time and uh similar to horoscopes in a way how like i feel like the most of the people i've met who love horoscopes are women as well yeah yeah yeah Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Vegetarious. Yeah, but we were walking around this community and it was all women. Yeah. The people who were having their fortunes read and the people dishing out the fortunes.

Yeah. So you guys got read? Yeah. Me and Nick did a reading. You did a healing. And this is a bit of a video spoiler, but this woman immediately just assumed I was gay. She was like, well, yeah, you're gay. And I was just like, oh, please. What?

And then I looked at myself and the way I carry myself. And aside from enjoying sleeping with women, she was right yeah i mean she assumed my grandma was dead so you don't have to take it too too hard yeah i mean i don't think i don't think she knows something that you you don't know yeah that's definitely right yeah i mean it would be tough to to go to a reading and just have her drag you out of the closet no and like i was just like no i'm not she's like oh yeah you are yeah you are i mean that was like potentially spurred on because i told my psychic that i was in love with kb but i didn't say i didn't say i was what was like her other reads were like just like oh you're disorganized and should take more notes yeah i mean i mean to be fair that's what my mom says I mean, you came in like an absolute slob.

Adderall juice dripping out of your nose. Like, that wasn't hard for her to... Yes. And I mean, we were all dressed very gay. So that probably... We were in neon H&M. Yeah. You had a couple flamingo earrings, I think.

I did. But yeah, no, she was like, I'm sensing that you were closer to one of your grandparents. And I was like, well, I only met one of my grandparents. So yes, that's right. I'm assuming, yes, no shit you're closer with one of your grandparents. Everybody is. She's just saying things that is, it was ridiculous. But it made me realize like the amount of women there and there

was like a line there was a wait for our psychic like they people would travel for miles and miles and miles women would travel for miles and miles miles to get get their palms red get their chakras realigned get zen and uh it made me realize how easy it would be for a man there to be a male psychic that was just predatory. You know, just like, oh, yeah, you've been washing your hands too much. You're pruned. I'm sorry, and again, I'm going to have to read your pussy. I'm going to need you to take off your pants.

And then he's just like aligning the chakras of her pussy. Just, yeah, it's... Yeah, like this is... Believe me, it's going to sound crazy and I'm going to be just as uncomfortable as you, but in order for me to astral project you properly, I'm going to have to... Your pussy is going to have to...

To read your pussy. Yeah, I can imagine me... I'm just going to put my hand below your vagina, and I need you to drip onto my hand. Oh, jeez. Let's read the dripping. We're going to check out the patterns it makes on a white piece of paper. I notice you tense up a bit when I rub your clit.

Did you sit in the back of the school bus? I couldn't help but to notice your pussy gets wet when I'm around. Did you sit in the back of the school bus? I couldn't help but to notice your pussy gets wet when I'm around. I feel like this must have happened at some point. If we searched psychic who ended up being charged for sexual assault, I'm sure there'd be a lot of google results yeah i mean that's like the easiest like a yeah it's very easy that has to be the most predatory profession yeah besides physical therapist i mean i was a male in speech pathology and i felt like a predator just for the fact that i was a one percenter

the you were one of the one percent of males working in the speech pathology? Yeah, I've never met a male speech pathologist. Yeah. Damn. Could have been me. Fucking A. I didn't even, yeah. Yeah, so we did the spiritual camp.

I mean, what else do you want to say we did? I mean, we got up close and personal with some gators um we don't have to go we don't really have to go into the details of what that means um yeah yeah it depends like how much we want to give away i'm trying to think what were some highlights that we didn't capture on tape though that might be good to this is our seventh hotel. Oh, yes. We can say, because this isn't going to be in the video because the cameras weren't rolling, one of the psychics at the camp told you about when she lost her virginity. Can you share that?

This was a reformed accountant who became a full-on spiritualist. She was like 65. Yeah. And you guys were getting your readings in the home and it was just me and her and she was talking about like yeah like i was like is it hereditary your powers and she was like yeah everyone has them but especially my father and my sister and yeah my dad knew the second i lost my virginity when I was away at college. My mom called me up and she was like, what have you been getting into?

And she just dropped that. And then she read. Because your father is like, he's acting up. That is a curse for any father. I wouldn't wish that. Imagine being like, yeah, I'm a girl dad. Oh, that's beautiful. No. No. He's hanging out at the bar with all his friends. any father i wouldn't wish that about imagine like yeah i'm a girl dad oh that's beautiful no

imagine no he's hanging out at the bar like with all his friends and all of a sudden he's like ah shit ah they're like are you okay he's like yeah my daughter just got fucked you're like when people have phantom limbs he like has his daughter's phantom pussy oh my god oh no that's dark oh no oh god he has to tell his wife, yeah, she just got fucked again. Didn't she just get fucked this morning? Yeah, just... Oh, he's like mowing the lawn. Oh, no.

His ass starts to hurt. Oh, my God. My friend, he lost... Yeah? He lost his anal virginity on the same night he lost his vaginal virginity. This is 100% true story. You said his. He had vaginal sex for the first time.

Vaginal? Vaginal sex. Is that what they're calling it these days? It was his first weekend in college. A chick brings him home and they have vaginal sex Is that what they're calling it these days? It was his first weekend in college And a chick brings him home And they have vaginal sex And then she turns around And she's like, alright, now

Fuck me in my ass And he had been used to watching porn He hadn't really had a lot of experience with chicks So he was like, yeah, this is completely normal, right? Donnie, is this you? No, no, no, this was not me So maybe the psychic was right because when you said your friend lost his anal virgin i thought he got fucked and then

no no no no and then he lost his vagina when i was like oh you're right that does sound like he got fucked in the ass no but he just thought it was completely normal like he just one in the vagina one no no i think you're right i wouldn't say i lost my penile virginity yeah like first time using it yeah who knows yeah that'll that got off topic um we tried to link up with dave we were not invited to his house but yeah it's the attempt that counts i mean he did say just nah that was nice that was like nah is the nicest no yes yeah there was a second one i was like yeah like i went to vegas with him like you're you're you i think you're in decent standing with him nick nick yeah we could maybe hang out with him and then like i looked on twitter and he was

like yeah we just broke youtube from getting so many views on our TikTok podcast. And I was like, we're, there's no chance. We are small fries. There's no chance. Yeah. So he said, nah. And we left. Yeah. I mean, at least he was willing to do a FaceTime with him.

I mean, like you can't get the full Floridian experience, but yeah, we're not, we wanted to go to Miami just to contrast it with all the other really cool places we're going to. We're showing people the other side of Florida, but first you got to show them the side that most people see, and then you show them all the other stuff that really contrasts with that.

I don't know what the fuck but for those listening tune in when that video comes out uh yeah that's uh that's our update on florida yes yeah um so you're gonna be seeing some gators you're gonna be seeing some some other animals uh mystical i don't know mythological mythological animals that animals that actually may exist. Creatures of a fake would probably be the best word, yeah. I mean, do we want to spoil KB? I don't know. KB has a love interest that's half fish. Bottom half.

Yeah. And you'll also be learning about another animal that's half ape. Yes. I mean, the audience is going to put it together that it's a mermaid that wanted to fuck me yeah and i don't i shouldn't be saying that but i looked up her uh the salary of the mermaids at that particular resort and statistically yeah i think she does want to fuck me people what's the this, though, are going to be so confused. You just said, I looked up the salary of the mermaids who work at that resort.

People who are listening to this and haven't seen the video are going to have no idea what that means. She's a glorified indentured servant down there. Yeah, but what does it mean? If someone is listening to this, what does it mean to work as a mermaid at a resort? They're mermaid shows. We went to see a mermaid show. It's a 30-minute show. We found out.

We looked on Glassdoor, the hiring website. It shows how jobs are. Average salary for a mermaid is $10 an hour. That means she made $5 the day we were there. That's, I mean, and... $5 to just spend 30 minutes underwater breathing through a tube. Yeah, she's a surf. She's below a surf, and she's literally below the surf, too.

Yes, she's a surf. I used to love fucking surfs back in the day. Man, I used to go home with a surf every night. I did. What about patricians? I hate rolling over in the morning and seeing you brought home a patrician. I did go home with a plebeian. Yeah, yeah.

I would never bring home a patrician. I did go home with a literal surf in China after the Red Sox. You was hooked up with a slave? She wasn't a slave. A serf is someone who makes a little money. She just got back from constructing the Burj Khalifa.

I hooked up with one factory worker and then one... You hooked up with somebody that works in a sweatshop? I went on a date with a factory worker that I just met. I didn't know she was a factory worker, but I just ran into a cute girl on the subway and we went out to eat. And she was like, yeah, I work like 12 hours a day in the factory. I could feel it in her hands. Did you pay – wait.

Beautiful face. Did you pay for the meal? Yes. But after the Red Sox won the World Series, I hooked up with a random chick. I met her at a bar. I was very drunk the next morning. We're talking. She doesn't speak a lot of English.

You woke up in Saugus, didn't you? And I go, we're having some pillow talk. She wasn't the most attractive girl, but she seemed nice. And I was like, what do you do for work? And she goes, I am a killer. I am a pig killer. And I was like, oh, you're a butcher.

And we got to the bottom of that. That's what she was? Yeah. She was a butcher. She was a butcher. And we got to the bottom of that. That's what she was? Yeah. She was a butcher. She was a butcher. And in a butcher's, did they do the priest up of killing the... Yeah, I think when you're...

That's your job, to kill the pigs and to prepare all the meat cuts. What do you do? I'm a slave. Is that guy that just force-feeds slaves cream of mushroom soup? What's his name? Oh, that's my homie Donnie.

You'll love him. All right, let's see. I've never hooked up with a slave. Who's that dusty guy with the cream of mushroom? Don't knock it till you try it. No, I'm going to try it, yeah. But yes, Kyle's in love with a mermaid and that's really all you need to know

until the video comes out. Not a real mermaid by any means. I'm in love with the concept of being a mermaid. She was hooked on that pipe, on the oxygen tank, yeah. Yeah. She had to keep doing it. I felt bad.