A New Untold Story - A New Untold Story: Ep. 242 - T-Mobile

Episode Date: June 10, 2021

|| A New Untold Story: Ep. 242 - T-Mobile || The boys play a movie guessing game, discuss terms for genitalia, pooping in relationships, & more! || Producer: OwenYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, A New Untold Story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad-free on Amazon Music. one really, really, really fast. If they promise to use promo code ANUS15, check out at dudewipes.com. It's an ultimatum. It's an ultimatum. Or if you don't do it, I'll just read this really, really slow. It's up to you. I'll give them time to

decide. The choice is theirs. The choice is theirs. The ball's in their court. The choice is yours. What are you going to do? Are you going to buy the wipe? What's the most you've ever lost from a coin flip? It's either you buy the wipe or you listen to this long ad.

We'll wait. Buy the wipe. Go ahead. Do you think they bought the wipes? Do you think they bought the wipes? What are you thinking? Shut the fuck up. Let me think.

I'm crunching the numbers. Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up. They bought it, they bought it, they bought it. Brought to you by Dude Wipes. Dudes, we need to have a serious chat about your bathroom habits. It's time to quit shitty, scratchy toilet paper and switch to Dude Wipes. Dude Wipes are an extra-large, flushable wipe made with plant-sourced fibers designed to give your anus a cleaner, more refreshing, and TP finish

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at dudewipes.com. Use Go to Anus 15 for 15% off your entire order. Dude, did you just fucking fart? Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up.

Is that your reply to what I'm going to say? No, you're just going to say like, no, that's a new untold story. Hey, is that story old or told? No, baby. It's a new untold story.

A new untold story. It's a fresh-baked untold story. A new untold story. I'm giving the hints. So, bad news. I read the ad too fast. You did read it. I just got pushed back. The show isn't even out yet.

You read it inconveniently fast. Nick, you read the ad too fast. Dude Wipes, they're out. In real time. Yeah, real time. I read it so fast. As much as I know this sucks for us, I get it. Yeah, I read it so fast. We've never even mentioned the fact that I started Dude Wipes.

You started it? Yeah. You started the company. That's your company? What the fuck? Why didn't you ever tell us that? I don't know. Should I apologize? Or you apologize to us? I don't know. Give us like a one pod suspension and then pick us back up.

Because we just got movierankings.net. Jeff just texted us. He said movierankings.net, his movie website, can be our sponsor. Let's give it a try. I'm on it right now. The random movie generator. That's what I'm on it right now. The random movie generator. That's what I'm on. We'll turn this into a game.

Randomize a movie, and I'll guess it. It's really user-friendly. Oh, my God. Is it user-friendly? Just easily. Lone Survivor. What about it? Oh, I can't tell you the title of the movie.

I have to give you hints. Yeah, yeah. That's a fun game, too. You just name movies. Lone Survivor. Is that Chris Kyle? Yeah. Cooper played Kyle.

Just like you. Alex did to me. Played with your emotions. Yeah. Okay, I get it, though. I'm going to do another one. Yeah. Let's cut that part. Yeah, for sure.

Give me 10. Randomize it. I got the random generator up. Yeah. All right. All right. So I'm giving you hints for the movie. Right.

That I get. Yes. You guess the movie. Okay? Yeah. Yes. Yes. All right. Why are you explaining this to me? Let's do a test run because I don't think you get it. I get it easily. You probably get movie. Okay? Yeah. Yes. Yes. All right.

Why are you explaining this to me? Let's do a test run because I don't think you get it. I get it easily. You probably get it. Okay. So not... So I got one. I'll randomize.

Okay. Randomize. Okay. So not the Georgia Project. Jesus. What did you get? You can't say project. No, it's the Florida Project. Right. But You can't say project. No, it's the Florida project.

Right, but you can't say project. That's too much. Nothing in the title. You can't say anything in the title of the movie. Okay. Like you just did. Okay, I was just seeing. All right, so you can't say any of the words or names.

That's more than a hint. That's just giving the name of the movie. Okay. Obviously, that's more than a hint That's just giving the name of the movie Okay Okay, so for example The longest yard I just got Yeah This is The biggest lawn Ever

And I've seen every single lawn in the world This is the biggest, that was my clue That would be great, yeah, but why didn't you do that? Yes And I've seen every single lawn in the world. This is the biggest. That was my clue. That would be great. Yeah, but why didn't you do that? Yes. Okay. All right, so no, you can't say the word.

Okay. The capital of Tennessee. Okay. That guy is dressing up as an old guy. You can say Johnny Knoxville. You can say the actual. Johnny or Knoxville isn't in the title Bad Grandpa. So what, okay, I don't know what I, okay. Johnny Knoxville.

It's Bad Grandpa. Yes. Good. All right, let's start for real. All right. Three, two, one. Don't, why are you counting in British? We're starting.

Okay. Three, two, one. You can't just splash. See, this is what you can't do when we play the game. You have to, because the speed matters. We want to see how quickly we can get through these. Right, but you can't just give me spurts of England and not expect me to say anything. Are you ready?

Yes. Okay. Daniel Radcliffe, The Wizard, the sequel. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Yes. Are you ready to play again? I think I know what you're doing. Are you ready to play again?

Remember when I flashed you in the locker room before home ec? Yes. High school. Yeah. Did you see one of my balls? More than that. Did you see one of my balls? No.

When I flipped my penis up, you couldn't see my penis? Both. Yeah. So you didn't see one of my balls? No. Saw two of them. Saw two, yes. Do you think Jigsaw's British?

What? Did you think? Why do you British? What? Did you think? Why do you keep doing this? This is his signature line. Are you ready to play a game? He had that baritone voice. Are you ready to play a game? It's do you want to play a game?

Yeah, I should have said sequel. Do you want to? Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Okay. Fuck! I keep... I can't remember. What's her name?

What's her name? Sarah Marshall. You can't... You can't just whisper. Okay, so give me more hints instead of just whispering. So instead of forgetting, I said I can't remember. Yes, but then you just said her name. Yeah, it was Sarah.

How am I going to give a hint for Sarah Marshall? I don't know. It's your job to give the hints. The guy from Superbad defending the U.S. Yes, that would have been awesome. That was forgetting Sarah Marshall. Yes. All right.

Okay, randomize. Women can't do this. Drive. No. Pitch perfect. What? Like, Monet Davis never had a, like a, she had, like. Oh, she never had a perfect game.

But the boys did. You're right. Okay. No, that's not it. Women, chef. No, it's not it. Women, chef. No, it's like they're not strong enough to do this. The cap's too tight on the Dasani. Oh, Kai.

Open water? Yes. Since when? I've never seen the movie. No, it's a shark movie, but how often do women? They can't twist the cap off. Most of the time.

You've had that experience. I bet. do women they can't twist the cap off you've had most of the time experience i bet all right go randomize right um ah cloak cape fear yes um okay denzel washington's in it okay um my dick is this inside man no no fuck um little things no it's adjective then length fantastic four no erect No, erect. Magnificent seven. Yes. Decent dick. Black, C-, Hispanic, B+, Pacific Island. I already reported. Yeah, D for Pacific Island. Oh, you didn't.

You didn't. Were you actually grading them? No, no. What were you grading them on? It was like a report card. What were you grading them on? I kept saying A would have thrown you off. Why?

It would have thrown you off. Why? You would think easy A. Oh, you would have just been saying A, A, A. Or the perfect score. Yeah, it would have been redundant. Differentials. I had to do miscellaneous grades, hypothetically.

But Pacific Islander would be a take in that. Because I did C and B already. Okay. What was your thought process miscellaneating them? What? Yeah, why? You can't. Okay.

Next movie. If I would have said A, it would have confused you. Next movie. Okay. It's the guy who plays the woman. Okay. I think. Yeah, Tyler Perry.

Yes. Statistically, there's a 1.1% chance. I remember Medea goes to jail. Yes. Okay, Roy Moore. He's trying to get Mexicans out of Alabama. Actually?

What? Alien vs. Predator. Yes. A lesbian soccer player loses 2,000 pounds. Megan Rapinoe? No. The other one.

Yes. Abby? Yeah, yeah. Downtown Abby. Magic penis. Johnson's? Like AIDS? Dallas Buyers Club.

No, no, no. Like a Magic Players penis. Like the card game. No, no, no. like a Magic Players penis. Like the card game of the Untouchables. No, no, no. 40-year-old virgin. No, like the Orlando Magic penis. Why didn't you say that? Where's Ali with the motherfucking dope?

Are you Shaq-wessing? Shaq? His penis. Shaq's? No, not Shaq. No. The center for the Orlando. Mo Bamba.

Mo Bamba. Shorten it. Mo. Mo B. Mo B. Dick. Mo B. Dick. Old. Old?

Fuck. I said it. It's Old Yeller. Elderly. Old Yeller. Yeah. Okay. Elderly Old Yellow Yeah Okay Really hot blue bitch

Avatar No Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory No How many fucking more blue people are there? X-Men Mystique No

Sad Like depressed Why didn't you just fucking say sad because blue means sad right but when people say blue they automatically think the color how many

how many women are the color blue I just named three pretty easily okay it's she's depressed perks of being a wallflower yes I've never actually seen it She's depressed. Perks of being a wallflower. I've never actually seen it.

Is she hot? I would imagine. It's a high school girl, right? Yeah. Okay. Why do you keep making a choo choo choo? It's not like you're Reading a movie title Some of these I don't know

Okay Line for a port-a-potty Line for a port-a-potty There's a long line for this port-a-potty That's John Q Yes, yes, yes Why is your British voice so soft? line for this port-a-pot. That's John Q. Yes, yes, yes. Why are you... Why is your British voice so soft?

They don't enunciate. Do that again. Why is this line for the port-a-pot so long? Why is it so long? I have to whiz. You think they say whiz? Your British voice is like a little

rippy. I don't get it. I don't understand your British voice. But I hate how you knew that immediately and you just get it out immediately. Just say the answer because you understood it. Yeah, but I just, I don't want you. Okay, go. Okay, it's a movie. No fucking shit. Okay. Then answer it if it's so obvious. No shit what?

You said it's a movie for a hint about a movie-based game. Simmer down. What were you going to say? It's a movie about, I think it's like the black guy in the plane crash. United 93. American black. Sully? No, Michael Rapaport was, he was just an extra in that.

Denzel Washington, I think. Denzel Washington, it's six letters, it begins with F. Fences. No, the other one that begins with F in six letters. Fallen. No, I guess the third one. Flight. Yes, it's Flight.

It's an airplane movie, it's Flight. Yeah, I got it, one. Flight. Yes, it's Flight. It's an airplane movie. It's Flight. Yeah, I got it. Go. Randomize. Okay. Fuck. Rosa Parks on the bus before 1955.

Back. The way back. Much further. The way, way back. Yeah. That was with Steve Carell. He played a villain. That was a good movie.

Sam Rockwell. It was a good movie. Then why didn't you say that? Say what? The people that were in it, you've seen it. It sounds like you haven't seen it. I haven't. Then, yeah.

Then you wouldn't have known. But you assumed that I didn't see it? You would have guessed three billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri Maybe And that's a mouthful We would have lost a lot of time Randomize Got it

What is taking so long? Got it. Why is it taking so long? I keep getting like Swiss Army Man and Barb and Star go to Vista Del Mar and death becomes her. Then why aren't you giving hints for that? Because we both don't know these. Alright, this is a popular one. KCA, The Dead Kid. there's not a movie about that what casey anthony casey affleck he killed why did you say killed the kids manchester by the sea yes why yes okay go i forgot i couldn't remember if it was affleck or affleck i didn't want to

embarrass myself i knew it was ben's brother or Affleck. I didn't want to embarrass myself. I knew it was K... Ben's brother, dead... KCA, dead kid. Multiple accident. Go. Manchester by the sea. Okay. I've seen this one. Fat security guard.

He gets accused of murder. Jon Hamm fucked the hot brunette from House. Olivia W... Into the Wild? No. No. It's like a giant dick piercing like a dick piercing

being a Prince Albert fat Albert no giant more of a gemstone Richard Jewell I've never seen that I think it was up for Oscars so can you imagine you're fucking a girl

And she's like yeah daddy fuck that slit Are we supposed to be imagining you fucking a girl I'm imagining you fuck Oh no Let me stop you there Anyone else You're fucking destroying my clam Do it again You're fucking destroying my clam Wait

Yeah, yeah, yeah Do it again Keep fucking my gash Run game on my slit Emmett Smith in my slit The only thing you could actually say is pussy Yeah, girls should only say pussy During sex at least

Pussy's fine, I guess. I guess. I don't know any... There's no alternatives. Fuck my gash. Especially gash. Oh, Nick, you're destroying my coochie. Oh, my coochie is sore from your big dick.

There's no way coochies are a big ass dick. Your big ass dick destroyed my cooter. What about box? Box is overweight men from Pittsburgh. Or you're like an imprisoned rapper from the early 2000s. That's the only two things you can get away with. You can't be saying box. Let's go get some box tonight. That's the only two things you can get away with. You can't be saying box. Kyle, can you

in five to eight sentences talk about fucking a twat in an English accent? No. What's your favorite thing to call a pussy? What? What's your favorite thing to call a vagina? I don't think I've ever labeled it verbally.

Snatch? None of that's good. But the breasts have no viable option. Tits. Tits maybe, but everything else is bad. Saying boobs

during sex. Boobs is bad. Tits isn't great. It's phonetically very unappeasing to say boobs. What else could you say? Knockers. Milkers. Terrible.

Terrible. Memories. Terrible. Breasts. Terrible. Coming from me? Nah. You're getting fucked. She's riding you.

You're so fucking stacked bouncing on me. You're bouncing. You're so stacked the way you bounce. She's on top of you. I love those big boobs. so stacked the way you balance. She's on top of you just, I love those big boobs. I love the way your boobs. What about dumpers? Dumpers for butt.

That sounds like an ass. Dumpers are tits and poopers an ass. Dumpers are tits? Dumpers are tits. I've never said that. That must be a Long Island thing. That's got to be a Long Island thing. No, it's a regional thing.

Dumpers an ass. It's like a bubbler water fountain thing. I think very specific. What about axe wound? Here's the worst. You guys say online instead of inline. Yeah, that's weird. You say you're on slit.

I'm on slit. I'm on gas. I got on some slit last night. I got on some pussy. I got on some clam. What? Yeah, on some pussy. I got on some clam. What? It's in. When you have a tiny cock and they're like, is it on yet?

Yes, it's on. Bitches from Hempstead be like. Oh, Owen, you turned me in. Have we ever talked about there's no good word for underwear, any undergarments? Yeah, again, I don't say it. There's words that you don't have to say. A guy like me can't say panties. If you say panties, it sounds like you stole them.

That or just sniffing them. Hey, like, pull your panties to the side. You cannot say panties. You can't say panties, but I can't say underwear. Can't say undies. Thong is weird. Get your thong. Move your thong. Take your fucking your thong. Move your thong.

Take your fucking thong. Just move your... Hey, pull those draws down. Draws, you can't... I don't know what to call them. Again, you gotta be plies to say draws. I've decided on fabrics. Move your fabrics to the side.

Why did you say it like that? Fabrics. Fabrics. I don't have a lisp. Yeah, but you said it in the same cadence as a lisp. I might have a less spitty lisp. Fabrics. Well, you said Nassau a second ago

as if it was a port you were bringing your ship into. Nassau? What the fuck is that? How do you get an O in for backup here? Nassau County? Nassau. Again, it doesn't matter. You guys live in your own world. You guys are on pussy. You guys live in your own world. You're on pussy.

You guys are on pussy. You guys live on your own world. You're on pussy. You live on. You live in your. On your parents' basement? Yeah, you live on your. Motherfuckers.

I watch Onside Amy Schumer all the time. Onside Amy Schumer. the time Onside Amy Schumer She's from Long Island She's from Rockville Center Yeah That's where all the dumb You're from Long Island Ken Jack

I am But you live with your girlfriend now Yes Do you ever hear of poop Poop like Oh That's a good question You guys live together

You live together In a Manhattan apartment How long did you date Before you lived together We were together Throughout the entire Quarantine plus probably six months but you were like together you were living with her you were sharing a bed during quarantine yes exactly but now you have your own place yes she pooped half a term i've never i've never physically seen any of her

shits have you seen skid marks well she's seen mine as early as this morning and it horrified her that's as late that's more late recently wait did she see the first skid mark today i think that was actually her first because it was laundry day and she looks at this picks up a pair of my underwear oh fuck i was talking about skid marks in the toilet you're talking about in your panties in your panties in my own in youries. In your fabrics. So to speak. She was horrified. She dropped them and went and washed her hands in the sink. What did she say? She said, like, there's poop in your underwear.

Undeniably so. I was like, yeah. Very pragmatic about her approach. It's true. But never has seen you even in the middle of pooping. Has she seen you shitting? No, she's never seen me shitting.

I've seen her shitting. What is the unwritten rules about pooping with your SO? You can say you're going to poop, door shut, but she can't hear plop. Yeah, no plop. No plop. Plop is like, if my girl had to go poop, I'd plop. Yeah, no plop. No plop. Plop is like if my girl had to go poop, I'd be like, oh, that's cute. But then if I heard a plop,

out. When you said pooping with your shout out, I thought you meant like you're pooping at the same time in the same toilet. With my shout out? Esso is significant other. You gigantic. Bleep this. Get the bleep ready. You gigantic. Bleep this. Get the bleep ready.

You gigantic. Retardant. So you go back to back anyway when you shit. That's how it works when you're in a relationship. I like to call them a relationship. Shit. We'll cut that. That's a Dane Cook joke. That's a Dane.

That's a Dane. Through and through, that's Dane. Is that an actual Dane cook joke? I'm actually agreeing with Nick for once. You can't hear plop. I used to do it in the middle of the night, like actually. Wait until she falls asleep. I dated a girl for three years and I never pooped.

I believe that. In front of her. Okay. Or like while we were together. They were the biggest poops of my life. You spent a week with me. You said you were in front of. You closed the door.

No, I wouldn't go You wouldn't even go While she was in your radius If I ran to pick up food I would poop there If I ran to like a coffee shop I'd poop there Never with her present

Cause usually you can't poop In public But public was better Than private with her It was always an emergency When I had to poop During those three years Yeah

I was I never pooped Because it was convenient I always pooped because I was on the verge of shitting myself. Kyle, do you take logs or just little pellets fall out when you scratch? When you scratch? When I scratch? Is that a term for pooping?

My rectal itch? No, it's clean. Generally. We use dude wipes. I had a war of attrition. No, we already did dude wipes. I don't. I had a war of attrition. Are we starting to do wipes? No, we already did do wipes. Thank God. I had a war of attrition with somebody in the bathroom today.

I went into shit and there was someone in the other stall. And I sat down and I'm like, all right, he's going to get up and leave before I get up and leave. And neither of us got up to leave and neither of us shit. So I ended up actually leaving. You beat him? No, he beat me. I know who it was, too. Well, yeah, he destroyed me.

Who was it? He's the guy that wears plaid shorts all the time since March. Why? Do you just see him underneath the door? He's done the same thing to me. He doesn't shit. You can feel his presence. You know he's in the stall next to you.

You know he's waiting for you, and he will beat you. Are his pants down? Is he sitting on the toilet? He's definitely sitting down. He's going to get, and he will beat you. Are his pants down? Is he sitting on the toilet? He's definitely sitting down. He's going to get a hemorrhoid. His ass is going to fall right out of his ass. That's the thing about him. He doesn't give a shit.

He doesn't care about that. He doesn't take a meter. He doesn't use to give a fuck. He's going to sit there silently. Didn't make a noise. We glossed over your girlfriend pooping in front of you. Yeah. No, she did that

And it was while I was in the shower She's like, I need to use the bathroom And I thought she meant pee while I was showering You have an Asian girlfriend Up, yeah No bearing, but yeah I'm going to be the one to say it The poop scenario, yes

No, it does Do you have an opaque curtain, or is it You can't see it, it's completely blocked off Is it a curtain, or is it a door? It's a curtain So, did she announce it? No, she just, like, knocked on the door and said, can I come in? I need to use the bathroom.

And I was like, yeah, sure. I thought she was pissing. I've done the same when she's showering. Sure. And did you hear noises or you were just like, this is too long of a piss? I just didn't. I just like looked and she's like, yeah, I'm pooping. And I was like, I'm sorry, what are you doing in front of me right now?

And like that was a barrier I was not prepared for. I'm with you, but I think it's suspicious. Not because it's gross, but because of other factors. Like what? If your girl is shitting, what does it look like? What does it smell like? Is it my girlfriend? Right, right.

So we've actually had this talk seriously yeah um i was concerned this girl i was seeing uh was cheating and not because of any other factor other than our turd smelled completely different even though you're eating the same no yeah i couldn't the majority of our meals are together yeah are so are your turd should smell the same yeah so what what were you doing that it smells so differently than mine? You're right. She forgets to flush. Come here.

What's this? Yeah. Well, obviously, yes, it's turd. But no, why don't you close your eyes? Does that smell like mine? No, it doesn't. Not even similar. So what were you doing?

What were you eating? Who were you with? And where you eating? Who were you with? And where? Yes, I saw you eat. Your girlfriend's shit should not be that much different. It should be a thin margin. There's those guys that are hyper-masculine. Oh, my girl's not going to shit.

I'm fine with my girl pooping, but if it smells different than mine, I'm going to have problems. Yeah. Why? What were you doing? Give me one, but if it smells different than mine, I'm going to have problems. Yeah. Why? Why would they give me one good reason why it smells different than my turd? Because you're eating most of the same meals. It's simple science.

It's simple science. You're in a relationship. You guys are together for your meals. They should look the same, smell the same, and have relatively the same texture. Relatively. That depends on the the shape but especially if it smells vastly different vastly different is just blatant cheating yeah where have you been going it's like if you ran the same experiment twice and got different results

you'd want to figure out like what the variable is there right let's see what's wrong it's fine if she has the occasional like yeah we have snacks in the cabinet she can have a bag of munchos but you can yeah but that you can tell like that's fine but like if it smells a lot different break up boys boys now you ever fart in the shower it doesn't escape it's great it doesn't it's not great it's not great at all like your fart comes out of your asshole and immediately gets vaporized by the hot water. And you're in a gas chamber. It's horrible. It's like an echo when it's breaking through the wet cheeks. Exactly.

Dude, you're in the chamber. It's fighting to get out. No, why would you ever do that to yourself? I love it. I hotbox myself all the time. You've got to learn to love your own brand, so to speak. As we're talking about ass- You guys like pooping?

I'm not one of the people who enjoys sitting down and taking time. If I could take a pill and never shit again, I'd do it. Agree. At my old job, it was a good escape. Here, where it's like you actually want to do something, it's totally different. But I told my coworkers at my old job that I had IBS. I would just go into the toilet for like a half an hour. I wouldn't even take my pants off. I'd just be sitting on the top of the toilet seat.

I usually poop naked. But sometimes I do want to keep my clothes on if it's bare bottom clothing. Oh, good point. Is that the shit that doesn't break? That's the one exception. And I can't... I don't know if I've ever... Did I ever mention... This is one of the products that I actually use

And like But wearing it, it's fine But there's something about it that just It separates it They do things differently They're founded on the principle that comfortable made to last Men's wear shouldn't cost In our world

They're five star rated shorts I remember the first time I put it on. And I put it on lackadaisically. And thousands of guys who have made the switch to the MVP of their closet. The way I put it on

was so clumsy. And it did not shatter into pieces. I remember I was like, I was scouring it. I was scanning it with a magnifying glass. I could not find a single shatter. I could not find two pairs of the best-selling stretch shorts plus their anti-microbial moisture-wicking tech tee

for under $100. Their price rate every single day so you don't have to wait around for a year. A single slit shatter. It did not make a single tee. I was like, should I vacuum them? What should I do? How do I put this?

The shirt was not broken in any manner. You could return it to a department store sustainably from a cycled plastic bottle. Right now, our listeners get free shipping on their first order of these super comfortable threads at barebottomclothing.com with code ANUS. A-N-U-S. Just go to barebottomclothing.com like the animal

bottom clothing.com and use code ANUS to get free shipping on your first order. barebottomclothing.com It looks like it is brand new. It's not even broken at all. Barebottomclothing.com. That you already put on, took off, not shattered in pieces in any manner. Barebottom. What do you have, AT&T?

Verizon? Singular? We don't. I think we can just bring this up naturally i know but thanks for the alley oop big guy yeah thanks over there appreciate that stud um we could talk about what our next topic just we hung out with ken jack this past weekend is that not where you wanted to go with this okay yeah this is gonna be made up this is gonna be Our next topic just— We hung out with Ken Jack this past weekend. Is that not where you wanted to go with this?

Okay, yeah. This is going to be made up. This is going to be a bit— No, this is just true. See, this is what I was worried about. It happened. I know. I was pissed when I saw it because it was so ridiculous that people wouldn't believe it. That was my first thought.

Nobody will believe it. It still sounds like we're making this up. I know it does. And I hate this. We've done this to ourselves. We haven't hung out with Ken Jack socially probably in a year. Yeah.

We finally did. And we're walking to his place in... Casa de Jack. Hell's Kitchen, maybe. Yeah, what is your neighborhood? It's in New York City. Say it. No.

Nobody's going to find it. No one's... People search every apartment. No one is... It's in New York City. Say it. No. Nobody's going to find it. People search every apartment. It's got a big waterfall inside in the lobby. It's very distracting from the exterior. Which was disgusting. Yeah. Rough neighborhood, beautiful apartment.

Diamond in the middle of a turd sitting in my toilet that my girlfriend made. Big one. Smells the same. Yeah, thank God. Does it? Yeah. It better. So we were walking there.

I don't even, like, it's so unbelievable. It's hard to prompt even without it sounding fake. We passed two very, like, elderly men, I would say. Yeah. 60s. Probably 60s, 70s. But they're, yeah. Twins. Yes. Same face. Same, yeah. At least. 60s probably 60s 70s but they're yeah twins yes same face same at least that's yeah there's not they're both wearing t-mobile shirts the same like pink it was a black shirt with a big pink t-mobile logo logo one was in a wheelchair one was pushing the other. Twins. Okay, you pass things way more outrageous than that on a daily basis in New York City.

But it was twins. But one was... Old as fuck, wearing T-Mobile shirts. Matching. One was bound. One was in a wheelchair. They were matching in every way but one. Were they identical twins?

At one point in time not anymore do you think they still claim they are can you tell us apart yeah yeah i can t-mobile and t and yeah and that was another beautiful like factor like it was one was mobile one wasn't both t-mobile shirts they weren't employees i assume they were they just i'd assume they were homeless but it raises the question do you stop being identical twins if one can't walk one becomes a collegiate yeah one becomes any sort of collegiate it's like uh no you're not they still dress the same. Which one am I? You're the one that walks.

You introduce him to your twin brother in that scenario, and you're like, oh, are you fraternal? Mobility is quite an identifier. Yes. The second you lose that. And I can't stress enough how identical, how the same their faces look. They look like carbon copies of each other. But they were not identical.

Well, sometimes we switch places to confuse people. Do you? The person's moving their feet in the wheelchair, dragging the other guy, holding onto the back of the chair. Dead legs. No, no, no. Okay. No, it's me. No, yeah. Trade places, yeah. I have

identical twin cousins. One's gay, but so is the other one. So they are still identical. Yes, they're still very identical. I'm sure you've seen that story about the conjoined twins where one's gay and one's straight, but they share a butthole. So what do you do? Flip a coin? You have to be a top, right?

Siamese twins are like piranhas to me. I can't even think about them. Wait, why can't you think about piranhas? Everyone, you know, it's no one can visualize piranhas. I can easily right now. That's the same category. I cannot, like, it's skeeved out. Siamese twins are land piranhas.

Yeah, they're the piranhas of land. Siamese twins and piranhas. They're the same feeling that you get. Well, this is very localized to you. Thinking about them. I've never thought of a piranha when thinking of a Siamese twin before. Not at all because piranhas are more like Amazonian. And Siamese

Siamese is whatever like there's like some in fucking canton ohio is there some as in more than one there was two yeah two sets no twins okay two people i don't know people is a i'm using that liberally okay maybe one of you decide who's the people i read about these siamese twins once and one of them died because he was a vicious alcoholic and the other one was normal and not and when the other one died his blood toxified the other's blood and killed him oh fuck so if you have do they share a liver then no the other's blood and killed him. Oh, fuck. Do they share a liver? Did the other one get drunk without the work? No, so

they're split at the hip and it just wouldn't really affect the other one that much. When I picture a Siamese, I picture the head coming out of the neck. Really? Oh, I picture side of head to side of head. No, those ones are just fucked. I read about they also tried to do a trillion of those separations to cranial Siamese twins.

Like, all of them died. Like, almost every single one. No shit. This does not work. Piranha shit. Yeah, I can't deal with that. It is. It's, like, much like a piranha.

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HelloFresh meal? I love the Not piranhas The three course You got the You got the entree And the two sides The two sides Aren't as good as the entree.

They won't fill you up. But when you combine, when you have them both, it's kind of like a yin and yang. You get a little in every bite, right? Do you want me to talk about the ingredients or do you want to talk about the ingredients? You can puree them. Well, the ingredients. Yeah, but talk about the ingredients. The ingredients? What more can I say? You can puree them. Well, the ingredients. Yeah, but talk about the ingredients.

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Skip a week whenever you need Go to HelloFresh.com Who was that one girl telling me about it Wouldn't shut up about it She was raving, that Seltzer broad Jennifer girl, Seltzer broad Yeah, she was talking to you about it She cornered me at the

Where was it fort lauderdale maybe miami i don't know she cornered me talking about hello fresh that's her thing she can't get enough of it she was raving about it and i'm like i i gotta catch a flight in 20 minutes i gotta catch a flight it was at the airport that was yeah i'm like it's why it's 20 minutes from now But I have to Board the plane And like my section

Already They all already boarded And I got some luggage I want to get it in the Container And she was like I You know Kyle

I can't get I can't get in Go to Hellofresh.com slash Untold1212 to use code Untold12 for 12 free meals, including free shipping. HelloFresh.com slash Untold12 and use code Untold12 for 12 free meals, including free shipping. HelloFresh. Is that your reply to what I'm going to say? No, you're just going to say, like, including free shipping. Hella fresh. I knew I told the story. It's a fresh, big, untold story.

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