A New Untold Story - A New Untold Story: Ep. 246 - KB Gonna Have That

Episode Date: July 9, 2021

|| A New Untold Story: Ep. 246 - KB Gonna Have That || The boys discuss fat asses, Rube Goldberg, Good Burger, twins, Hitler, male strippers, & more || Produced.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, a new untold story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcast, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad free on Amazon Music. What is up? What the fuck is a star like that? Welcome back to a new untold story. And if that ass fat canb gonna have that you just can't ever let me just well that was a well how are you gonna start you're just gonna welcome back to the podcast um a lot's been going on lately we just got back from boston well that was a you know it was a time and a half. Why do I talk like that? Yeah, that's how you talk.

What's wrong with starting a podcast with, if that ass fat can't be going to have that? I mean, I guess. It's just out of nowhere. It's more natural and authentic than you're like, oh, welcome back to the podcast. That's more natural? You've never said that. What? If that ass fat can't be going to have that?

Yeah. It's been said. You're not even assertive when it comes to women. What? What? more natural you've never said that what if that ass fat cape you don't have that yeah you're not even assertive when it comes to women what like you don't see a fat ass and I've never seen you just be like call your shot what are you talking about I mean I see you I see you lustful all the time

obtaining and acquiring doesn't require calling a shot or being vocal or assertive. But like, it's going to be mine. I mean, if the ass is within one degree of separation from me, I will have it. I'm not going to seek it out or sabotage it. What do you mean by having? I will obtain it physically.

Right, you're just saying a synonym for have. What does that entail? What do you mean? What does having that mean? The ass will be mines. What? The fat ass. If the ass is fat, I'm going to have it.

One degree of separation? Yes. What do you... Like if it's in my circle. So if I am with a girl that has a fat ass, then I will get that ass. But what do you mean by get?

What do you think that means? I'm going to snipe it out. So you're going to snipe it out. So you're just going to point it out from like across the bar? Yes. I'm going to lust over it. Is lusting the same as having? Lusting is the same. In my book, yeah.

So you go out. It's like marking your territory. So when an animal marks its territory, it pees on a certain area of the ground. Right. When I have that ass, I'm lusting over it. I'm seeking it out. I'm pinpointing it visually, mentally, and I'm lusting over. I'm seeking it out. I'm pinpointing it visually, mentally,

and I'm lusting over it. So you're saying when you lust over something, it becomes yours? Yeah. Wait, wait, what do you, yeah, what else? So when you go out and you're just like, oh, I got it. Well, that's KB's now. KB got a lot. I got some last night. That just means you looked at women?

I, no, I didn't. No, I lusted, I pinpointed which one I want it. I picked one from my, the pick. I had a whole litter and I was like, that's the one I'm, that's the one I want, but it's mine.

But you're, you're, if history proves itself, you don't like fat asses. What do you mean? You like, what are you trying to do? You like smaller women.

No, don't even start. You can't go back to my childhood. Pre-adolescence. You were obsessed with petite women. No, I wasn't. Yes. It was the first woman I jacked off to was

a petite petite. You don't have to say it. She was the first cover of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit. But you don't have to say petite. You said petite petite. She is a petite petite. No, you don't need to say it twice. What do you mean?

What do you mean? Petite petite. Why can't you just say petite? Because she's not busty. Right, but then if she's not buxom, she's not shapely. She's a petite petite that why can't you just say petite because she's not busty right but then if she's not buxom she's not shapely she's a petite petite no but you don't need to qualify her if she's just petite yes i fucking don't need to qualify petite with petite then why do people even say busty petite because if you said busty petite that implies that she had tits but you if you just

said petite it doesn't mean it means she's she has little small boobies. No, no, no. If you just say petite, it can mean tiny in any way. Height, stature, physique, weight. No. That's what you need to say. If you just say petite, it means she's not buxom and she's small and short and tiny and minuscule. But, okay. Okay. So a busty

petite is an oxymoron to you? No, no, no. Why wouldn't you just say busty? Let's be hypothetical. Okay. Let's say I bring home a busty petite. I'm not going toon to you? No. Why wouldn't you just say Busty? Let's be hypothetical. Okay. Let's say I bring home a Busty Petit. I'm not going to go to you the next day. That's very hypothetical. Borderline fantastical.

Okay. All right. I go. Why are you trying to mouth the words I'm saying? In some type of shadow facts land, you bring home a Busty Petit. Where were shadow facts from? From the land of the witch and the war. No, it was from Lord of the Rings.

In that scenario, you bring home a busty petite to your hut. Sure. To my hut. I go to you the next day and I say I brought home... I would say I brought home a busty petite. I wouldn't say I brought home a petite. You don't leave out I would say I brought home a busty petite I wouldn't say I brought home a

petite you don't leave out busty when you bring home a busty that's dumb that's nonsensical I get that fully but she was she was busty in the sense that she had big titties you're actually really pissing me off and she was petite in the sense that she was short

and lighter weight so when I say petite petite I mean she's not but she has petite in the sense that she was short and later weight. So when I say petite, petite, I mean she's not, she has small tits. You just say petite. But then a petite can be busty then. Right, then you say busty. So then if I say just petite, then it can be assumed

that maybe she was busty. You don't just assume busty. Why would anybody leave out busty if they are busty? You're not assuming, you're assuming that it could be busty. No, if it out busty if they are busty? You're not assuming. You're assuming that it could be busty. No. If it is busty, you say busty. If you just say petite, you...

That's illogical. How is that more illogical than saying petite petite? Because petite petite drives home the fact that not only is she a tiny girl, a tiny young woman, but she has no titties. That's just what petite means. You don't need to repeat it. You sound dumb. Okay. Okay.

Okay. So a busty, why even say petite if she's busty? Why even? Because if she's a busty petite, you say busty petite. You just don't say petite. Why would you leave out busty? In some cultures, it's the best part. That completely negates

the whole point of a petite you're saying if a petite can be busty obviously there's a whole term for it busty petite so that implies that a petite can be things other than busty and that's where petite petite comes in why do you have to repeat it

you can just say petite because then someone might assume we're not doing this okay large Why do you have to repeat it? You can just say petite. Because then someone might assume we're not doing this. Large pizza. I ordered a large pizza. If you got a small pizza, if you got a pizza that wasn't large, would you call it a pizza pizza? No, I'd call it a jumbo

or a mini. Let's skip the middleman. Alright, what were we even getting at? The first girl I jacked off to was the first cover of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. 1964. Babette. Marx. German.

Not particularly buxom in any way. Was she boyish? The cover of the photo, the cover of the. Are you sure you wasn't? I thought I had to go in chronological order. You jerked off chronologically. Because I had all of the covers. So you didn't want to get the...

I thought you had to start in order with 1964, even though I thought I had to unlock 65. I just thought you would not understand the story. No, it's not about the story. If I'm going to jack off to swimsuit issues, I have to start from the beginning. A man of culture.

It took me a while with her. The first thing I would have jacked off to was similar to you. It was in the pages of literature. It was the Guinness Book of World Records either 99 or 2000. The silver holographic cover. I think it was 2003. I think it was 2000, 2003.

It was the Indian man who had the record for the longest nails. holographic there it was like uh i think it was 2003 i think it was 2000 2003 i think it was it was the indian man who had the record for the longest nails well i mean he should just not be in it he wins every year no one's gonna no one's gonna pass at you yeah i don't know i i jerked off to the most expensive swimsuit it was like a bikini yeah what made it expensive i think it was like made of like something like some sort of rare mineral. So what did you jack off to? Was it on like a buxom? No it wasn't but it was like

it was loose. It was a big cup size. So you just jacked off to the material, the fabric, the clothes. No I jacked off more to the shape. It was the idea of what could fill it. That did it. There was no human wear there was no model wearing their person wearing that it was like on it was like just laying out

oh boy but my first bear tits jerk off was um bear tit no no like bear as in naked naked well you questioned it i'm just thinking not allowed bear okay questioned it. I was just thinking out loud. Bear, okay. Yeah, it was BS nude. What is that? The fake celebs. What was it? I went to celeb fakes battle on my PSP before that,

but that was not it. My first battle. I don't want my... No, because you would vote. I'm not trying to do anything other than look. I don't want to... No, because you would vote. Like, who... I'm not trying to... I'm not trying to do anything other than look. I would open up a million... I don't want to vote or battle. I would open up a million tabs and vote for the fake Ashley Tisdale. Oh.

And she never loaded, so I never saw her pussy. Oh, because it went top to bottom. I never had a micro SD. You got to, like, her navel. Yeah. That was all I needed. Yeah. No, the first...

That's all anyone needs with Ashley. So, before I had a PSP, you had to use the, like, the family computer. And I was so afraid of getting caught. or naval yeah that was all i needed yeah no the first anyone needs with that actually before i had a psp you had to use the like the family computer and i was so afraid of getting caught that i uh i think it was like e-bombs world or new grounds i think it was e-bombs no i was a big e-bombs world head e-bombs world head there was no porn on e-bombs world so that was like new grounds and it was like not safe for work games and like i would like it was the first tits i jerked off to bear tits was uh it was like a brick breaker game and you had to like move the paddle and i was like i had one hand on the mouse one hand on my

it could have been like a sport you had what you had to it was the break that is that is the order to show the visible tits it was like The background of the map was like a woman, a naked woman, and you had to break the bricks to get her to see more. And it took a ton of skill to jerk off and still... What happens if you have one hand on your dick? I get that. And one hand playing the game.

On the mouse. Yes. What happens if it fails? Does it just all go away? It all goes away. So you have to really dial in hand-back coordination. You have to hit the space bar to use the power ups to like bust more bricks but bust yeah yeah were you ever like i was having i had to beat the game and my scenario did you ever like get to jack off to like a full pair like a visible pair of tits or were you just there was all just trying were you going for quickness? What was your strategy?

I tried to go for accuracy. I didn't care about, I wanted tit. I didn't care about anything else. So like I, I was fine just like getting the ball and like a loop of straight up and down without face. So it was like in the top right corner.

Yeah. It was going paddle corner, paddle corner, straight up and down to go angle. So I just had to get that like set up. Um, yeah. And it was just, I think that straight up and down you had to go angle so I just had to get that like set up yeah and it was just I think that is like the epitome of male

that's what being a man is about it's competition it's setting a high score and masturbating and looking at women it's the ultimate combination no no it can't be what was your first bear boob?

Bear boob? Shut the fuck up. Don't say it like that. I wasn't playing strategy games in order to achieve that. That's very asexual of you. How? You don't have enough testosterone to even get horny from looking at naked women. You need to be playing like a...

It recreated the same chemical in my brain. The thrill of sex. There's a risk when it comes to sex. There's a risk when it came to brick breaker porn. What's the risk? Losing brick breaker porn? Yeah.

It's the same exact thrill as sex. No. No, that's not it. It's, it is, it's, I might do it again. I might make a whole arcade website for just porn. No, that's just, you just like the, you like the games. Like you're, you'd probably be the type that would like do a whole Rube Goldberg just for the quote unquote reward like do a whole rube goldberg just for the quote-unquote reward of seeing a

breast imagine like rube goldberg like his being his mom like explaining what oh so what is what is rube doing it's tough for us oh i heard rube's an engineer yeah he moved back home okay well can i see his can I see his lab? Yeah, and it's just like a messy room. It was like candle wax and plates and mugs broken everywhere. How's Rube? How's Ruben? How's Ruben doing?

Oh, we're going to go over to the Goldbergs. Oh, fuck. Last time I slipped on a fucking domino on the ground. Yeah, I tripped on a marble. I asked for like to pass the salt. We were like at the dinner table and I had to wait 45 minutes for honey. I'm going over to the Google with the Goldbergs for lunch. All right.

I'll see you like tomorrow, I guess. Yeah. Like I made the mistake of asking Rube to like hand me a napkin and i had to wait for like a fucking teapot to boil and then i had to wait for a candle to like burn through a piece of twine yeah that's your reply to what i'm gonna say no you're just gonna say like no that's a new story. Hey, is that story old or told? What? No, baby! It's a new untold story. I knew I told you your story. It's a fresh

big untold story. I knew I told you your story. I think if you mention a chick being exotic And then just say she was Aspergian Wait wait wait Where the fuck did you go? Where did you pull Aspergian? No it was me and Greer

We're talking about the movie Good Burger And I was saying Carmen Electra was getting that Aspergian dick No, it was me and Greer were talking about the movie Good Burger. And I was saying Carmen Electra was getting that Aspergian dick. From Ed? From Kel? From Ed. Who's Ed? The head of Kel.

Oh, yeah, yeah. He was. OG artist. He was the OG OG wasn't he? it was like groundbreaking there like this dude is so wacky and funny like he just had special needs I mean you were disgusted

that he was like special needs getting with Carmen Electra you forgot that he was black black. Yeah. That was like faux pas at the time. All right. Owen, welcome back. What's up, boys?

Kyle, you there? Nick, why are you wearing Well, we're on Zoom right now because we're in three different cities nick you're wearing like a lacrosse penny you never do that what are you talking about i'm wearing like a long sleeve a t-shirt that's from the rainforest cafe it's also clear you blow-dried your hair i thought you were just trying to cosplay as a former high school athlete which you weren't okay what is on your shirt you're wearing a shirt with like a is that a bespectacled it's like a young asian girl it's a oh she's not asian but she's dead why are you wearing why would i be wearing a shirt with a toddler on it? A toddler's picture that's grainy from clearly the 90s and it not be a dead friend.

But is that a dry fit? Yeah, it's dry fit. So it's a recent shirt. It took them a while to capitalize. Like a rape scandal like she they finally her family finally realized that they can make money off of her likeness off of her death by turning it into

a drive. Did you know her? Yes I went to preschool. I went to we went to the same mutual friends that went to preschool together. Wait who's on your shirt? Honestly, it doesn't fucking matter. Oh and you're not wearing a shirt. Oh andless um i was wearing a gray shirt nothing to comment on so i wanted to feel included pop it off yeah um how how did you confuse me for a lacrosse player you were you're it looks like

you're wearing a lacrosse penny a young sam adams did you play in high school we didn't have a team yeah i did i was the captain of the indoor team we didn't have a team the indoor team yeah it was during the winter what was that that's like a club that was like that was like a club that like met in the classroom were there chaperones yeah there you did you were not an athlete that didn't even go in the back of the yearbook. I can go get my jersey. Were you like a lax bro? Yeah, I had long hair. Anybody can have

long hair. And I played lacrosse. What else do you need? Did you have lead? You see somebody's been replying with an old picture of you nick no what is it of it's like you with like a cute without the e like pixie cut oh i uh is that real i let my girlfriend at the time straighten my hair and i was just like yeah this

won't ever be used like on the internet yeah Yeah. I don't know how they got that. It's kind of eerie. Yeah, Kyle, you didn't play lacrosse because you couldn't have the lettuce. Yeah, I could. I think I did. I did at one point. I grew it out.

What did everybody call you? It doesn't fuck. It they they were they called me the asperg lettuce and like with a west virginia draw that just sounds like they're saying iceberg yeah i did asperg lettuce no it was because i i was dieting for wrestling and i had a healthy diet and i was always just eating plain salads. That was the reason. It was not because of my hairdo. You are so paranoid about

getting any flip of hair in the back. They called me Asperg lettuce because that's what I would eat for lunch because I was fucking cutting weight to be a state champ. So yeah, it was just a fucking nickname.

Then grow your hair out. Oh, then let me guess. You and all the yak guys will call me Asperg lettuce. No, we won't. I don't eat that anymore. I think you're afraid of that happening. Okay.

I'm not afraid of anything. As far as my fashion and appearance goes after this last week in Boston. This last week in Boston was the most embarrassing thing. Uh, for those listening, we were just going all around new England, Rhode Island, the Cape. Um, I had a very thin chin strap, which is all the more embarrassing when you don't have a jawline. It was just like, I was wearing terrible,

terrible. And they're like, I was looking at YouTube tutorials of how to do it. And they're like, just follow the jawline. Just like find the corners. And I was like, I have none. You're just like,

like a sound wave. Yeah. He has no angles. Um, just a blob from the social clips. Like it, it got worse and worse every day. You would think it wouldn't because the hair around it would grow out

but no it just made it worse progressively worse I think worse and worse and worse every day and I we drink every day on those trips so my face gets like pudgy from yeah I was getting puffier and puffier redder and redder and puffier and puffier

and it especially didn't and puffier, redder and redder. And puffier and puffier. Mm-hmm. And it especially didn't look good because we were surrounded by a lot of BSHs, like some really big sexy hunks up in Provincetown. Okay. In Provincetown, there was

a lot of BSHs. But that was because... We were the only ones that weren't. It was for Fajbash. Weshs um but that was because we were the only ones that weren't it was for fosh bosh we went to a place that was the the gay slur that started with an f followed by bash uh we went to so we were in provincetown very gay area as is but we went on the last weekend of pride which makes it gayer time out that's and then we went to Time. Yeah. What was that? Awesome name for a bar. Continue. Fosh Bosh. Well, no, that was the event at

the bar. It was the event at the bar. So we went to Provincetown, which is a gay area. We went. It's like a predominantly gay resort, like the gayest resort. Yeah. And then it got a location called Boys Beach, which ups the gay a little bit a lot

of it a lot of it we were right above dick doc we were on the dick doc we were on the dick doc gay slur bash below the dick talk the dick doc is where like it's like the last chance university for the gay guys in Provincetown to get sucked

yeah you can you have all weekends to try to get sucked and if you don't, you go there. It's like the gay guys with low IQs and no abs. They have to resort to going under the dick talk to suck. Yeah, last chance blue.

Last chance blue, yeah. Yes, fuck yes. But we were in Massachusetts. I'm not a seafood guy. And so the cuisine there was something I didn't really gravitate towards. But Kyle, Kyle, buddy, we went to this restaurant and you had the most embarrassing order of all time. No.

OK, well, OK, I got the mudslides. You've got a mud slide, which is an embarrassing drink to order. It was like 95 degrees and you were like, so I'm going to take the mud slide. You didn't even check and see if they had it on the menu. And they did. So I got the mud slide. Well then the, no, my order wasn't bad. Then I got seafood. I got a stuff. I got a stuffed shell. What did you, it was a, it was a clam. It was a really big clam. It was called a fucking stuffy with two

exclamation points. So I had mudslides and stuffies. I get it. This waitress came up. She said, okay, what about for you, hon? And he said, so I'm going to do the mudslide. And how are your stuffies? Mudslide and stuffy sounds like a Pixar spin-off movie of two lost teddy bears. I didn't order it like that. I was Mudslide and stuffy sounds like a Like a Pixar

Okay like two lost teddy bears I didn't order it like that I was way more Assertive I just I pointed I don't even think I verbalized mudslide or stuffy Yes you did I didn't say I'll have them I know I'm going to get the mudslide But how are your stuffies

Nah I was so embarrassed for you but then I got distracted At that very restaurant Where I was so embarrassed for you but then I got distracted because we were at that very restaurant where I was clowning you a fucking set of twins walked in two fucking twins both equally equally hot

see Owen you fell right into our trap whenever you talk about twins to a man yeah they assume you're talking about girls fight or flight yeah they get horny they get horny they get excited horny. They get excited. They start dapping you up. Men shouldn't allow to be twins. They're male twins.

They're male twins. Nobody sexualizes male twins. No, people do. People sexualize twins as a whole. They don't even think about the fact that they're boy twins. It's super weird. You could go home with a girl and have never met her sister, and then you'd go

out to your boys and be like, yeah, and she's a twin. It's like, what the fuck? So what? Yeah, yeah. If you're like, yo, boys, fucked a twin last night, you're getting extra daps. You're getting a round of applause. You're getting a standing of extra daps.

And it wasn't like you had a threesome. It wasn't like you had a threesome. It wasn't like you had a threesome and there's another dude out there absolutely just beating the brakes off of somebody that looks exactly like your girl. It makes it twice as less impressive. Imagine like, yeah, like, oh, I got like, what a good catch.

No, there's statistically the easiest type of person to fuck. But they should start sexualizing male twins, in my opinion. I mean, you pretty much were. We were. What did you say? I was devouring my stuffies.

You were done with your chowder and then you started fucking looking at the twin, the male twins, the boys. I've told you guys, I have a set of twin twins, the boys. I mean, yeah. I've told you guys I have a set of twin cousins, both gay. So take that as you will

in the nature versus nurture argument. Sure, certainly will. Yeah, I'm going to think about that. I'll consider that. You also have two twins friends, like your best friends, and they both are diabetic. Yeah. And which is not hereditary. Not hereditary. The type one diabetes is is nature or is that

nature or nurture um that's got to be nurture their mom it's got to be i don't even know what nature and nurture means yeah i'm trying to think of the difference they seem pretty much the same but but uh i don't like girls should start or guys should start sexualizing twins, just like walking up and just being like. So it was like, is every bit of you identical? Are you guys identical in every way? Yeah. Am I seeing double? Yeah.

Two for the price of one. All right. All right. Who yugs quicker? Two. Yeah for the price of one. All right. All right. Who yugs quicker? Two? Yeah. Oh my God. Can you ingest at the same pace?

How did I get so lucky? Two for the price of one. What does that even mean? Like, no. Like your price of one? Oh. No. There's no like transactions happening.

Oh my God. I think I'm seeing double fellas dude dating a twin would actually suck like it would suck so bad you'd be self conscious about your girlfriend and your girlfriend's sister so like sister's not getting fucked

either what if like you're dating an identical twin and her sister is dating like a much hotter guy or yeah that would no that would be a confidence boost but what if she was you're dating an identical twin and her sister is dating like a much hotter guy. Yeah. That would know that would be a confidence boost, but what if she was, no, no. Cause then she'd be getting ideas.

Getting ideas. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Your girl is going to start thinking like, Oh, her worth is higher. Well,

she knows it's a catch 20. It looks like her could get a guy like that. Or she'd start thinking about like a middle of the night swap, like slip into bed. Yeah. And how could you blame her? How could you? How could you?

You got to fuck the boyfriend at that point. Maybe. Can you do like a funny sound effect? Um, Michael Jordan. Um, it was this crazy thing. I don't know if you guys remember this. It's just like came from the back of my mind. It was this crazy thing. I don't know if you guys remember this.

It just came from the back of my mind. It was a commercial. I'm thinking mid-aughts. It was made before an airplane company, and they put him in a Hitler mustache. Yeah, you're referencing what we brought up on the Yak a couple of weeks ago and mentioned about bringing up on the pod, right? Yeah. It just came out. I don't know how I remembered it. It was in the nooks and crannies of my brain, of my cortex.

And I just remembered, I thought that's the funniest topic to bring up because Michael Jordan, the star basketball player, the quintessential athlete of our generation. He's everywhere. He's the he's on posters and this and that. And he had a Hitler mustache. Yeah. And nobody like you can achieve a level of fame, I think. How did he get away with that?

Is because he's Michael Jordan. I think I mean there's there's got to be a scale of fame of like things you can get away with now because I I guess I feel like Michael Jordan

maybe like a like the Chadwick Bozeman could get away with it yeah Michael Michael B Jordan that's the B like the Chadwick Boseman could get away with it. Yeah. Michael, uh, Michael B. Jordan.

That's the B tier. Michael Jordan is the A tier. Michael B. Jordan is the B tier. Yes. They could both get away with it. Right. But like without an apology,

without a notes of apology, uh, Michael B. Jordan could, would probably, people would forget about it, but he would would get he would get chirped on like twitter but he wouldn't have to say anything that's b tier michael a michael jordan he's fine he's infallible across the board but then there's like the tier below that michael c oh michael

michael the michael c hall um he'd be fine because fine because he's got the suave Dexter reputation. He's the type that would get invited to the barbecue. You think Michael C. Hall is invited to the barbecue? Yes. I just think he's creepy enough to people would be like, I think that plays a factor because he

was going down South Florida, Dade County, and I think he was appreciated serial killers yeah um then is there a mike is there mike d is that um michael d tier mike dernt from the basis

from the green no he'd be fucked he'd be fucked um no he wouldn't be fucked he would have to put out not a notes app screenshot but like an actual designed like in courier narrow or courier like graphic like no I think I think

Mike Dern would be fucked I think Mike D from the the Beastie Boys would be on the D tier okay then Mike Dern he was a Beastie Boy he was a barbecue guy too okay an invite he was there the Beastie Boys was their catalog controversial at all I'm thinking it was hella anodyne a barbecue guy too. Okay. And invite. Um, he, the BC boys, was their catalog

controversial at all? I'm thinking it was hella anodyne. What about, but again, do you have the, do you have like some sort of thesaurus up right now?

Nah, I'm just thinking it was anodyne. Yeah. How so? Fuck. They didn't, they didn't really, uh,

they didn't rap about anything too vulgar or problematic. So I think he'd get away with it. No. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. And Mike,

then what? There are definitely levels of fame for just like taking responsibility. Like you see like KFC posts a picture on Twitter of his kids and all the replies are making sure the car seat's facing the right way, etc. Emily Radikowsky just palms her child's head while posting swipe ups for tummy tees.

Did you see the dad that dropped his baby midway to go for the home run ball? Baby? And caught it. But then then everybody's like this dad's a hero no he should have just got out of the way of the ball yeah yeah

people shouldn't people shouldn't want balls hello Kyle you were supposed to say fresh and a funny boy hold on I have to report again I'm looking for it hold on I'm

downloading the VSCO app I guess you have to fucking have the app to look at girls links now Jesus Christ this wasn't the case a few months ago they also get a notification who views it. That's perfectly fine.

I'm not going to miss out on this. Like if it's the links there, I'm gonna look. I know who you're talking about too. You probably do. We are now if I have to create a new account. Are you on my burner I for sure already created one but I forget what it was yeah yeah

where'd all pm you fuck I need to fucking can you get blocked on VSCO because I think I may have oh yeah Jesus another day in the shop

sign in with Nick what did social media do the geezers you hook up use the geezers what none of them you still on that 40s kick Visco is like a

cataract medicine Jesus Christ alright my hoes are on it can we count down for me Owen? 3, 2, 1 display name I have to fucking make a display name just to look at hoes

downloading VSCO yeah apparently you need to have the app in order to look at girls VSCO links now which wasn't the case a few months ago at least display name KB no swag oh you're making a VSCO you gonna be

posting on it no I just want to fucking look I want to peer. I want to fucking ogle. You're thirsty as fuck. That's not even thirst. It's social media. Or some hella fresh, Kyle.

Yeah, I guess I am. Not a lot to think about it. Are you saying, ah, it's good that we have an ad? No, I said, oh, yeah, because I wanted to look at some hoes, but now. You sound stressed. Now I'm fucking, yeah, because I don't want to fucking go to the fucking Whole Foods. It's 15 minutes to walk there. Then it's the who knows what line it is.

Well, HelloFresh cuts out stressful meal planning and grocery store trips, and you can enjoy cooking and get dinner on the table in just 30 minutes or less. I recommend trying HelloFresh's quick and easy meals, five 15 to 20 minute dinners, breakfast on the go and more easy options to perfect our busy lifestyle. Kyle, any dishes you like? Somebody,

somebody used KB notes. KB knows who I guess taken as a username on VSCO. Nah, I'm fucking starving. I made a pork chop the other day. Fantastic. It I'm fucking starving. I'm fucking starving. Fantastic. It's easy for me. I can't cook. And I feel like a chef when I'm using it. I recommend

going to HelloFresh.com story14 and use code story14 for up to 14 free meals plus free shipping. That's HelloFresh.com story14. It's Americafresh.com slash story 14. It's America's number one meal kit.

I love it. I love it. But back when I was fucking growing up, I just had to click one link. I can see all the VSCO picks. Now I got to make a, make an account, get, go to the email to confirm the password, look at more options is it even worth it at this point are they posting

better stuff on I got a buddy who will just just data scrape it I'll just send you a file if it's who I'm thinking of just give me his yeah just do that I'm done I'm done

we got in trouble for using saying the ad at the very end of the podcast. So anything else you want to talk about? Okay, we have to just let's continue to riff for 15 to 20 minutes.

Okay. Okay. You were just at a bachelor party no no I'm trying to pry something out of you I was at a bachelor party a couple weeks ago I mean that I think just would suffice for

a couple weeks ago well not when you somebody that I talk to every single day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you do? What is it? A stripper? Yeah, strippers come and they just take their clothes off. I get that.

I get, I've always understood female strippers. I have never understood why bachelorette parties order male strippers. I was waiting online the other day don't say that were you on a website in a queue I was waiting in line

the other day and there was two bathrooms and one of them was stinky I didn't want to go in it you waited for. That's a big cock move. I waited for the non stinky bathroom. That's a cock move.

So you had it. You got a quicker wait to get into the stinky bathroom, which is redundant, but you decided to wait longer, hold, hold whatever longer to go into the less stinky one? It was disgustingly stinky and a line built up behind me because they saw it was so stinky, I wouldn't go in it. So they look at you and they're like, oh, if it stinks for this guy.

It stinks for this fucking dude. If this guy's standard. That'd be a huge insult. Just be like, oh, if you think that stinks, we must think that's just dreadful. Yeah. So people were afraid were you like queuing were you like gesturing for people to pass you if they wanted to yeah i i was uh this was a couple weeks ago so i saw the mask so i would point to the bathroom then gesture back to me and do a little like stinky you did a little stinky did you just say it smells bad or did you do a you did it all just jurally uh this was all mime work um but eventually a line builds up and everyone's turning and

repeating my gestures to the person behind them and it builds up to like a 12 person line and then a really hot girl comes i think i know i think i know who you're talking about yeah okay yeah yeah somebody explained it to her and she just shakes her head and says who cares cuts the 13 person line and goes in the bathroom yeah she's she's wild like that um but what the what was it a djs or something was it like a jersey shore bar had to have been yeah because the music was too loud you couldn't

verbalize that it was stinky all right has it been long enough since that ad no uh i want to bring up uh kyle you brought up alright has it been long enough since that ad no I want to bring up Kyle you brought up strippers I'm still thinking about how I get like women strippers have a lot to do and men are easy

to please what like when you order a male stripper I'm guessing it's for an hour at least what do they do aside from that fucking they swing their dick like a helicopter which there's no way it's hard the entire hour right probably is but that's the only move I've ever seen

through film and footage footage yeah like I don't know from film I guess but what's the difference between film and footage I don't know footage is more like evidential there was a crime that I don't know like Like the Blair Witch Project?

No, but you know what I'm saying. Every time a male stripper is depicted, he's only doing that. He's swinging his dick like a propeller, like a mobile fan. I honestly don't know what you're talking about. What do male strippers do?

What is their routine? What is their routine? What is their choreography? What is their performance? I think they just dip. I mean, what else can they do? They just, or like, if it's, they flip their dick around in circles or they tap it on the

girl, one of the woman's cheeks until she blows him. He just taps it? He like knocks on her cheek like it's like it's like an old hostel like it's an inn women have multiple parts we're attracted to right orifices parts angles sides i guess like a male stripper could like spread his cheeks adjust his aperture adjust his aperture yeah just like wink his butt wink his butt yeah like spread his cheeks and just like

you know like a spaceship airlock door no no no I know now I'm more confused I'm just like he's like you talking about his asshole? He's shutting and closing his asshole? Yeah.

Like a spaceship airlock door? Yes. Do you get that reference? Owen? No, but I want to side with Nick. Sick. Some sci-fi shit. I guess they can do that and do the dick move too.

Do you think there's male strippers that just say yes to running errands without rolling their eyes? I don't know. I don't think I know any male strippers. No. No, I think they're rolling their eyes. And do they have like stripper

names like girls do? Yeah, they all have the word diesel in it. That is true. Or a form of gasoline. Any form, yeah. Unleaded Mike. 89. Premium Tanner. Mike 89 premium Tanner

$3 and 47 cents free yeah you just have to have like a petroleum based name yeah um one of my girlfriends

uh friends who was a girl she uh she used diesel when she was supposed to use premium she's still fucked like she put in her like she drank it no it was a cock oil Tyler um drank it. No, it was a cock. Oil Tyler. Wait, did you just add

the man named Tyler? Yeah, I think you need the gas adjective followed by their real name. Yeah, I guess so. David nozzle. No, I think you're not quite getting it like

Sunoco Brent Sunoco Brent is like yeah Sunoco Brent is fucking really good you're almost there I think but still not fucking quite.

Not fucking quite. Trying to think. What are some other gas station names? Marathon? That's one. BP Luke. names marathon that's one uh bp luke and bp is for like big penis yeah yeah no no it's not it's just for the the fucking british petroleum no that's the wait why did you think i had a big penis well your name is yeah no gasoline like centric words are more sexual than just straight up fucking dick and balls and sex. So, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. What is it like premium gas? There's unleaded and premium. What's the in between there? Y'all motherfuckers haven't filled up in a while, huh? I haven't filled up in a long time. I pumped gas today. Oh.

Okay. Well, shit. That really derailed us. Yeah, it did. What are the quick? Yeah, like Q-W-I-K. Yeah, quick stop. Some people like the smell of gasoline. quick yeah like q w i k

yeah quick stop some people like the smell of gasoline yeah that's yeah it's like an acquired acquired fragrance i feel like that ad was so long ago i just want one more male stripper name

okay um well let's think gasoline oil spills my mind's going to Texas to fish to Alaska to Valdez

come on Valdez Valdez Aiden oh man do we do anything with Exxon it was the Exxon Valdez wasn't it Valdez okay well you could have yeah that's what I was getting at

he's like a Hispanic man no yeah he is Exxon Chaz He's like a Hispanic man. No. Oh yeah. He is. Um, Exxon Chaz. Yeah. It's hard to get.

He is. He's a booked up for the year. Yeah.