A New Untold Story - A New Untold Story: Ep. 263 - Ben & Alice

Episode Date: November 4, 2021

|| A New Untold Story: Ep. 263 - Ben & Alice || The boys discuss kratom, bison, sopranos, barstool bites, call her daddy, sketch ideas, & more, and we finish the show with some prank phone calls || Full episodes also available on YouTube || New merch is out now!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, A New Untold Story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad-free on Amazon Music. It's a new untold story. A new untold story. It's a fresh, big untold story. A new untold story. Today's episode of A New Untold Story. Kyle, you know what it is. We're just going to go right off the top with an ad? We have five this episode.

People are going to just click right out at the here and add first. No. Off the top? You have to. That's what the job of a presenting sponsor is. And wearing. Corduroy pants. What brand?

Amazon. But they look like Volcom stone amazon pants they're amazon brand amazon brand yeah got them from amazon and they fit me well you're jeff because i have a regular shaped body yeah it's by bezos all right is that enough banter? Your ass looks like Jeff Bezos's forehead. If he got sniped in the middle of it. Is that my butthole? His bullet wound? It's bloody because you haven't been using dude wipes. You've been using toilet paper.

Okay. You're off to a hot, hot start. Yeah. My ass does look like. Wait. Why his forehead? Why not his own ass? Because you don't have an ass.

I have an ass. Stand on the table. Why would I have to stand on the table to show my ass? And turn around. You're so used to being short. For people to see your ass, you have to stand on a table. All right. You want me to stand up?

You're talking crazy. Shit. Yeah, it's a divot. Not a divot. It's just higher thighs. Okay. Girls, every time I'm laying on after i fuck their brains out i lay on my stomach and i let them tech deck in it sick they're like a regular bucky lasik in

there yeah name a skateboarder okay we already said tony and. Yeah. The big two. Sheckler. Okay. You got Sheckler. That's a cop out. Anyways, today's episode is brought to you by Dude Wipes. Chris Millville. Who?

The guy from Wheeling? Yeah. He was nice. He was just a guy that wore like Etni's shoes to school. He was nice. Was he nice on escape or just nice no he was sick with it with what i don't know but he was i don't know that dude was so sick with it he like wore a camera around his neck that's that just is a testament to how sick i've never seen him take a photo he didn't

he just wore it he just he would always draw like smashed Red Bull cans. Yes. He was so sick with it. He was sick with it. Never knew what he did. Dude Wipes Kyle, you use the product, don't you? You quit shitty, scratchy toilet paper, didn't you? How are you not getting this by now? Because I fucking hate

giving you layups like this. It's not giving me to sell the product sell the product on your own if you're so good at selling products i never said i was good at selling products dude wipes are an extra large flushable wipe made with plant sourced fibers designed to to uh give your butt a cleaner more refreshing finish than tp after dropping a deuce be prepared for any situation with dude wipes. They come in at home or on the go. Options, Kyle.

Which one do you prefer? I want them in my home. Yeah? Yeah. I want them on the go. Okay. I prefer it just in case there's an emergency. You're afraid to shit anywhere else besides your home.

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A-N-U-S-1-5, for 15% off your entire order. That's code ANUS15, A-N-U-S-1-5, at DudeWipes.com for 15% off your entire order. Kyle. Right. I feel like we should. You're done playing your little straight man character. I'm the Jason Bateman of this podcast. And what are you if I'm the straight man, Kyle?

You have 13 out of 10. What? Oh, Fajrino. Yes. Okay. I feel like because of recency bias, we have to address this from the last episode. Last episode. Last episode, if you didn't tune in, go ahead and do that right now so you're not lost. Or I'll just explain it now.

You've been taking vials of Kratom. You've been shooting them back like a shot of Rumpelmann's. And it turns out you didn't read any label. Sorry, first off, I cold turkey Kratom. I. First of all, I cold turkey crate them. I'm off it. Did you cold turkey bison? I'm tapering off bison. I'm not quite off bison.

I'm delving into like experimental alternatives to bison. I don't want to do fucking straight bison. Experimental meats? What experimental meats are there? The dark web. Yes. What experimental meats are there? No, the dark web. You can get like these vacuum sealed, like freeze dried, like swamp buffalo lard.

Why don't you just eat lean meat? From like the Yangtze Valley of China. Yeah. So I'm trying to gradually get off bison. Because you're going to swamp buffalo lard. Did you actually buy some? The next step is water buffalo. And then i'll get off water buffalo eventually and then i'll be completely off the bovine family but right now i'm trying to get off buffalo the bovine's a big family you're

only scratching it off after two well i want to well bovine is you know that's ambitious i want to get off buffalo yes of course so i'm not. There's the very common red meat that's available everywhere, though. Yeah. So I'm going to get these dark web swamp. Are you honest to God? So now I have Bitcoin now. I'm becoming a crypto guy. To buy your meat.

Because that's the only way you can buy them. Are you into crypto or finance? No, I'm bison. That's why I have Bitcoin. So you have to buy that with crypto? Yeah. And you're getting water buffalo lard. Swamp buffalo.

Swamp. Freeze dried lard. Like astronaut food. It's freeze dried. Freeze dried. There's no way that's ever going to taste good. Anything you do to that. Well, we're going to try it out and see what happens, right?

No. Okay. You're going to hate. out and see what happens. Right? No. Okay. You're going to hate. Why don't you just eat beef? Yeah. I don't know. I'm done with the kratom. It turns turkey, the kratom, which is tough because that's essentially heroin.

I retroactively decided to research the safety of the product I've been doing for the past 50 days. A product that you have been buying from 7-Eleven? Smoke shops. Yeah. From this like 50 days. A product that you have been buying from 7-Eleven? Smoke shops. Yeah. From like this like Turkish kid. A boy. Yeah.

For $20. A vial. And like I researched the product. They're OPMS. What's that? That's like, I don't know. They're like little vials. Are you sure you're not just saying opium?

It sounds like you're just breaking apart the word opium. It's OPM. OPMSms i think that's what they're maybe going for but i researched it i went on like subreddits and forums for kratom so these people who belong to the what's the kratom subreddit like they're people who are just addicted to kratom okay some in denial some not but i looked up like the specific one i was taking yeah what did they say i was first off i was taking way too much second off wait a minute the brand i was taking is so much stronger than like the herbal tea kratom that like you were taking too much of the strongest and it's not like you were an advanced addict you just just started no i went in wrong how were you ingesting it so at first i was i was

just drinking it all is it a liquid yeah okay it's a liquid it is it tastes what color it comes in a vial it tastes vile it's brown it looks like mud you've tasted it water yes so i'm like screwing into the smoke shop buying a 20 vial and before i even like i like immediately rip off the lid stab open open the seal with like my lucy apartment key and i'm like gagging down a vial of basically like primordial uh dirt juice and like the the literal tweakers who are having crack withdrawals next to me are like are you damn are you good slim yeah yeah yo slim because that's what they call you yeah do you want to hold a dollar slick are you get back on your feet those these bums are trying to help you out i think i was like downing kratom like under like leaking scaffolding and like this finance guy

in fight i like walked by him and he was like he like handed me a dollar he was like wait are you the guy from friday night pines what happened what happened man they You're doing so well on FNP. The OPMS brand Kratom. And this was one of the posts. Former heroin addict here. Daily user of Kratom for eight years now. This OPMS stuff is the real deal. Oh, my God.

Only need half the tincture and I'm on my ass. Kind of defeats the purpose of quitting heroin, but oh, well. You win some, you lose some. Cheers, fellas. Half? Kyle. I was doing the whole thing. This is a guy that was doing heroin for years.

This other guy was like, yeah, I did the product for like three weeks. Half my hair fell out and the remaining strands are the texture of asphalt. His hair was the texture of asphalt? It was like the ones that did grow back were like cracked sandpaper. Dude, why didn't you do research before doing this? I don't know.

And those are $20 vials. And like the Persian guys who work at the counter are like three for 55. And I was like, yes. And he was like, what, are you having a party tonight i was like yeah now it's all for me and so how did you feel this dude i had so an advanced heroin addict was doing this guy was addicted to heroin he was a former addict intravenously doing a drug the feeling of shooting age and so he went to crate him he was like and half a vial puts him on his ass a heroin addict and so you coming in the strongest drug you've

ever done is cocaine all i've ever heard was like this shit is like this shit is herbal it's like it's more like like beneficial it's like more of like a medicine okay so i think i had the reverse placebo effect which is what the oba call but but like i convinced myself that what i was feeling was like a normal human organic sensation what did you just call the reverse placebo i'll try to spell it backwards like read it and you said oba call that's not even fucking close oba call to be clear we don't want to push the kb is autistic narrative he could just say words in reverse i didn't nail that at all yeah like i was like oh yeah this is like a normal feeling i'm not fucked up last episode i pushed people we called it the kb challenge to do an entire vial of kratom

so let's not do that i don't know it's funny that nobody reported back from that i know why they're fucking dead so i'm like loopy as hell like tripping into the subway and like walking barely walking down the sidewalk i'm like this is not the crate and this is like i'm just a normal human feeling also i want to brutally murder the family of five central americans who are making me pause for five seconds so they can take a picture together that's the class and memorialize their vacation that they all worked 15 hours a day for two years straight to afford that that's classic oba call symptoms my friend i was in rage mode um before you get in, we do have to do an ad. Is that okay?

Is that all right? No, yeah. We have five, right? Yeah. No, not yet. We're really popular. We'll do a two-hour pod. We'll do a two-hour pod.

All right, keep going then. No, I don't have nothing else to say. No, I want to know, because you took it. Yeah, tease it, tease it. I was doing $600 of Kratom a month. My Kratom budget, I could have like two guest rooms you could have a bismarck north dakota my parents were like are you gonna like buy a plane ticket to come home for thanksgiving in a few weeks i was like no i'm just gonna do kratom every single day instead you were doing it early and often you weren't an addict to anything you just did it nobody

fucking does that there was no like psychological dependency nobody fucking does that keep doing it early and often. You weren't an addict to anything. You just did it. Nobody fucking does that. There was no psychological dependency. Nobody fucking does that. I'm going to keep doing it. You need to get HelloFresh. Yeah. Gets meals delivered to your door. Healthy.

Healthy. Meal prepped. You could save a lot of money by doing that. You ever think about that? The holidays are getting hectic. Use HelloFresh. They offer 50 menu or market items to choose from every week. The ingredients travel from the farm to your door.

And, you know, I make the salmon probably every night. As opposed to what, Nick? The farm. No, I love this product, but how else would they travel from anywhere to anywhere? The farm to the grocery store, or maybe the farm to the packing plant to the grocery store to you. HelloFresh has over 20 bison recipes. It does have over 20 bison recipes. And you can also mix that in.

Yes. They have 20 bison recipes. I had a lot of their products and I was always satisfied. You always were. And you can swap in the swamp buffalo if you want to put that in instead of the bison, which is nice. Bison sloppy joes. That's, oh my God. Wait, swamp like the Yangtze River Valley swamp bison for the Punjab Indian River Valley swamp bison?

That very one. That very, very one. And people at home can go to hellafresh.com slash story14, S-T-R-Y-1-4, and use code story14 for up to 14 free meals and three free gifts. So that's awesome. It's America's number one meal kit. Kyle. I was asking you, like, I was concerned a little bit. How are you doing this?

How's this making you feel? And you said bad, but you kept doing it? Were you addicted? No, I wasn't addicted. It didn't feel that bad. Sometimes it did. What was the best high you got off doing it? Were you addicted? No, I wasn't addicted. It didn't feel that bad. Sometimes it did. What was the best high you got off of? I would do like two straight vials.

Wait, with it, separate it, separate it. Have you ever done two vials a day? I may have. No, just be honest. You can just tell me. $40 a day. What are you motherfuckers are going out to the bars getting like service tables and shit? I'm only paying 40

dollars for kratom a day and going out to the bars and getting you guys getting like you're getting steak dinners your bill is like 300 i'm only spending 40 on kratom a day that's it that's that is completely it that is it but did you feel high yes but what was the high i honestly did feel i i had the reverse placebo effect where i was like i did this isn't that the the okapal no i don't i don't have it but i want to hash this out i just want to i want to i have a ton of questions why did you start doing it why didn't you research it why did you do the whole vial because it's so small it's like a cute little it's a cute little like knickknack but why did you even start doing it looks like it belonged in like a spy it looks

like it's just a run-of-the-mill tchotchke yeah no it's like what are you supposed to i guess you're supposed to like do like a droplet in your morning coffee and you're just shooting this is right yeah maybe not i'd like people to get back to me if i had heroin right now you could do a lot i was essentially a heroin addict is that why your body was looking so great was it yeah yeah you looked great but you were like the normal like you had an existential crisis no at the peak of your i did not have an existential crisis because that's when you're like you don't that's when you had your drivel right that's when you don't know the meaning of life i'd get that i don't care about life i was just yeah what we're doing is drivel.

Right. For a living. But do you blame the kratom? I was, no. Yes. When was the last time you did it? I was filled with rage. Are you an addict?

No, because I stopped last week. And was there any withdrawal symptoms? No. Heart palpitations. But that. Cold sweats. Cold sweats. That could be anything. Maybe that was too much bison.

You could be confusing your kratom withdrawals with too much bison. My fits of rage, I don't know if that was kratom or what. I probably kratom. You just became the equivalent of somebody that did heroin for years

in one day. i was very frustrated you were miserable yeah you're walking around with like your fist clenched like your palms there was like people in line standing in a single file line to take a picture by the uh wall street bull yes and i was it destroyed me and i was like i like, I walked by and I just let out an audible fucking A. So there's these people that are on a trip and all they want to see. It's a weird thing to go see. But that's also stupid. Yeah.

I want to go see the Wall Street Bull. They're these very, very poor, you know, Hispanic tourists. Yeah, mostly. And they're going to see the thing that fucks them over. Right. I get it. But that wasn't your thought process. They get raped by bulls? No, no. Wall Street. Oh, like the

money, not literally bulls. I can see that happening to you. You wouldn't believe what happened at the running of the bulls this year. This dude just got fucked by one. That was your first thought process there whatever i feel like we i'm not mad anymore you're not or sad you're not straight down the middle what is that what's the term shooter i don't know you're a straight shooter right now i mean you're not like you're still like your skin

looks good are you on a regiment i do do a a daily regimen what's your regimen tige hanley what is that what is t i got a new skin and hair regimen i started i bought a giant bottle of neem oil n-e-e-m and uh they're like it's it's it's a a miracle cure-all for everything it's like it's a anti-inflammatory antifungal anti-depress everything anti and i got it and it is the worst fucking smell ever and it's so viscous and i've been putting it in my hair every night your hair yes and my apartment smells like fucking ass i've been having dandruff and i don't yeah and so i've been putting neem oil in my hair to sleep and it is the worst smelling fucking thing uh but it's not as bad as just doing something stronger than heroin yeah i'm trying to make my hair have less flakes while you're no what what's what is your

routine because you do honestly you're not as sweaty you're not as shiny you're not as red the normal routine when for a heroin addict is um no i'm it is vikes perks oxys heroin suboxone kratom narcan or heroin narcan that is the owner of operations and then suboxone again then heroin the narcan then heroin then formaldehyde yes that is how that is how that's the i started with kratom you started with like the 11th step right into it too. And you didn't even experiment. No. Is there, did you look up if there was any dangers?

People were DMing me like, yo dude, like you got to stop. It's like, you know, when it's yo dude, they actually are like, yeah, they're like serious. Like people who like, and I like scrolled like a year ago, they were like, you're a pussy. Oh, it's like the people that were calling you a pussy for some other things are like actually concerned. That's how you know. Yeah. That's a big deal. Yeah.

Do you think your drug use is, do you think your drug use is the reason that you don't have a menu on the Barstool Bites menu? Well, yeah. First off, what the fuck? Dude, I've been around. This my three-year anniversary today three years wow congratulations thank you what was yesterday okay three years like what no man who had a menu item for barstool bites uh should i pull it up yeah pull up the barstool bites menu item item. Did you? No. That would have ruined me. What?

What are you talking about? There's some serious KB Nick Erasure going on. Don't say that. Why? Nick Erasure. You can't say that. There's some serious Nick KB Erasure. I agree.

Oopsies. I had the same thing. The first episode of BSNsn our barstool shopping network video i said bsn what's that stand for big stinking noogiers what did i say i don't know but it sounded like i said it sounded like i said a hard r and word big sexy nick big sexy nick or yeah that's what it was yeah and uh it was like the we're premiering a new series and within five seconds i said the hard on genetically you said the n-word if i was like a speech pathologist transcribing a two-year-old during like a speech like session i would have wrote the n-word and i would have been like oh

racist baby yeah you have a racist baby yeah but it was like the first four seconds and they were like we're gonna do a whole big premiere for it. And then people were tuned in. And I just said, yeah, that was not great. Who has menu items? Keegs, Mush, Casey. Oh, you want the full names? Yeah.

The full names of menu items. Keegs, Sweet Bites, Mush's, Mott's, Curd's, Casey's, Spicy Cauliflower. Cauliflower's with a K. Oh, that oh that makes yeah franz frickles what's a fuck what the fuck is a frickle sounds like a skin affliction it sounds like that one book what was the book with the redhead kid holding the pen frindle prindle oh you were i thought maybe freggly Diary of a Wimpy Kid. It's a combination of the two. Yeah. What's what? What is that?

Oh, a frickle. It's a fried pickle. It's a fried pickle. Yeah. Nate's three stacks of high society. What is what is that? Is that a burger? Potato chips.

Hey, is three stacks of poker reference? I think it is. Then why did. And they're what? Chips. No. OK they're what? Chips. Okay, let's run that back. Three stacks being like... Alright, so three stacks of high society is a

rounders reference. But the food is chips. The food is chips. They're damn good. They are delicious. I wish they weren't. I wish they weren't, but it pissed me off. They're they're great kettle cook old bay chips lou will tenders well no those are lou will is just a basketball player yeah just an nba player but he's just on it yeah okay um kfc's skinny fat wings. Wait, so KFC has chicken? That's like false.

Never mind. Pardon my biggie. What's a biggie? What is a biggie? I think somewhere in America calls heroes or subs biggies. Okay. I don't know where.

Okay. And then there's Biggie by Smitty. Okay. And Bree's Grilled Chicken Fry Biggie. Oh, okay. Pardon my Biggie. Could have been like pardon my shake and lettuce tomato. Shake.

Chocolate or vanilla shake. Oh, pardon my shake. Yeah. White Sox Dave's Big Name Tender Bucket. White Sox Dave's big name tender bucket. White Sox Dave has one. And he has a what? A big game tender bucket. Okay.

Okay. What would yours be? Eddie and Co.'s bang, bang wing bucket. All right, we've heard enough. Glenn Ball's Long Island Sliders. Clem Swish's fight. Saturdays are for the dip. Donnie Bear's dip.

Wait. Saturdays are for the dip? So that's quite obviously a play on. Saturdays are for the boys. But they... Okay. Yeah, that's good. Why would they waste a...

It's such easy of a pun word as dip on Saturdays are for the blank. Yeah. Donnie does dip. Dana Beers dip. So three dips. I had the now it's going to get extremely veal for lunch today. And it was tender. It was good.

It should make headlines. Yeah. The portions were too big. But other than that, I don't know. What would your menu item be? You should get like. KB would just be like KB don't know, KB toys. So they'd get a toy?

That's literally not the point. That is just so off base. No, it would be KB. It would be a Kratom pipe and a bison prod. Okay. Why just not bison? You want to give them items? You know, because I'm thinking KB toys.

It has to be a toy. Okay. What would yours be i don't know i have literally haven't thought about it nick nick nick sausage nick muffin yeah that's pretty good any yeah any of that i was a really cocky eye roll yeah i was like that was that like that much of a gimme it wasn't a cocky eye roll have i like praised that i love sausage you said it was pretty good and i was like it wasn't and you're lying okay we go let's brainstorm this we're not doing a nick pun why not you got one i didn't do a pun i won't owens uh street talk goings

street talk like he gets frickles to know that turkey ass Saturdays are for Owens dip yeah just combine them just combine but the food is like it took yes I'll get tossed around you heard it pissed me off that the food was good Stuart Manor East

Queens what are you talking about away chill chill on me yes yes are you talking about? From around the way. Chill on me. Yes. Yes. Are you like from East Queens? It's the first town after Queens. So yeah. So I'm the cusp.

It's kind of hard. That's kind of hard. It's a stark difference. It's a stark difference. Are you, is that a color palette reference? Yeah. I like how like Queens is like this really hard queen it's called queen yeah that's yeah from fucking queens i've been inside queens my whole fucking life queens um yeah what else i'm gonna do an ad real quick because we have a lot. Jared Karabas. Jared Karabiscuits and Sasha Gravy.

Is she an employee? He's like the Vincent Chase of Saugus. Yeah, he definitely is. Coach's Caesar salad. Wait, Coach has something? Duggs? Okay. Nah.

Duggs. Coach Duggs. First piss. First brisket. Ah, fuck. I. Doug's. Coach Doug's. First piss. First brisket. Ah, fuck. I don't know. Oh, well. I guess it takes a little bit more thought.

Add. Kyle, why don't you do this one? What is it? I don't know. He texted to both of us. Your phone. No, my phone's all cracked. You're not gonna be able to read it.

Plus, I have to go pee. Where do you like to wear your Cuts clothing, be able to read it plus i have to go pee uh where do you like to wear your cuts clothing kyle yeah kyle i have to go pee just answer these questions and then i'll say the code i wear the they sent us free products i wear them everywhere the shirts fit well they look expensive they're not that expensive people have been complimenting you on your body composition it's not the body it's the it's the clothing so i have like a lot of t's i have the pants um the shorts oh have you ever been complimented yes um cuts just released their new always on joggers they're designed to never take a day off what was gq well GQ was saying some shit about them. They are

the premier men's fashion magazine and women's in the world. And they said some shit about Cuts clothing. That they're the best at what they do. And... Open-ended? No, they said the only shirt worth wearing.

A tee that GQ calls the only shirt worth wearing. And you can see it on the world's elite athletes like Patrick Mahomes, Damian Lillard, Tim Tebow, and Bryce Harper, just to name a few. And some of your favorite podcasters like Nick Turini and Kyle Bauer. It's not just a lifestyle. It's not just a clothing. It's a work leisure apparel for the sport of business. Get 15% off your first order at cutsclothing.com slash anus. A-N-U-S.

That's cutsclothing.com slash anus for 15% off your first order. Okay. Oh, and then can you ad lib? Can I ad lib? Mm-hmm. Boom. Boom. Now, I wear the product a lot it is comfortable it does look good i don't know how else would i rhapsodize about shirts and pants like i'm telling you to buy it's good shit yeah

what else are you gonna do you're gonna go to h&m you should watch nick and kyle on youtube and you could see how good they look. The fuck did Nick go? He's been pissing you off. He has been. I might do like a full turn on him. Yeah. Turn him into a heel.

Not even that. He's just a cunt. Lately. Yo. Yo. Yo. Get out of the way. Owen killed it. Owen killed it killed it yep you didn't miss shit

fuck what you guys talking about it's not bad as a producer right who owen yeah he's the best we got you should get to eat his cake right yeah i'm sure it'd mean a lot to him to hear that from you know the people he works for i compliment him all the time i thank him okay i'm probably the most appreciative guy. Just making sure. Why? Am I not giving you your dues? I don't believe you. Owen, look at me. Do you love me? No.

Kyle does. I got... You got the ad out of the way? How'd he do? Did he take it seriously? You love Cuts Clothing. GQ said it's the only clothing company worth wearing. The only shirt worth wearing.

The only shirt worth wearing. Mahomes wears it. Damien Lillard wears it. Kyle wears it. That's a big three. Did you do the joke? What joke? Breaking.

Oh, no. The joke about the shirt won't break. I think I actually do that with bare bottom. You think I should get that out of the way for bare bottom? No, no. I'm saying I think that was the joke. We've done them for two different clothing companies. We did the ad, so then we're good, right? Yeah, I'm just talking about it.

We did it for our clothing, too. Yeah, we did say that. So I guess there's three different shirts that are unbreakable. All direct competitors. I got a letter today. Enrique brought it over. I don't want to flip it around because it has his address. It's just to me. It's from a guy named Doug Crispy

in Sacramento. He said he calls me quick. This is a handwritten letter? Yeah. Quick click Nick. If this makes you chuckle, that's tight. You want to do a dramatic reading? I add some music there aren't words yeah oh it's just it's i cannot there's not words not a there's a voice it's a drawing and it's like a weird it's a guy in a backwards hat

and a guy with like shaggy hair across the street and it's uh the guy in the backwards hat is yelling to the guy across the street saying half fuck you pussy and the guy is taking garbage out and i don't know have i made a reference to that i'm so confused by that but he did give me a coupon as well it's one free gimme that so i can take something from somebody and just say gimme that and I give them this coupon but I don't understand that letter at all and it's been I got it this morning and it's been keeping me up I don't know that was never a reference

I made was it? Is he gonna assassinate you when you take your trash out? I don't know my tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all the morning rain clouds up my window and I don't know what this is a reference to. I don't either. And is it something,

is it a joke I said in the past? You said, which one is me? Cause they both look like me. Well, the one guy's, yeah, the guy in the hat's probably you.

Cause you are always wearing a hat. So you switched it up. Someone must have been getting on you. I don't know what this is. People say I'm bald sometimes. No, I don't know. What I don't... You're not bald.

You guys are both hairy boys. Yeah. You have a lot of hair too. I don't have a lot of body hair. Oh, no, but like... You have hair like... You have nice hair. Yeah, you do. You have a nice wave to it. Do you have product in of hair too i have a lot of body hair oh no but like you have hair like you have nice hair yeah you do you have a nice wave to it do you have product in right now it's especially nice considering all things considered what's the all things considered the crate yeah

you could have been like asphalt kyle your hair your hair is like can i feel your hair because it's changed consistency as i know don't don't touch it? Is it falling out? Honestly, it has been kind of falling out. Can I feel your hair? No. Please. Just like one graze? I won't pull. Oh, no, don't pull.

That doesn't look good. Oh, you see? I barely grazed it and just came out. So I've got a really quick cradle. Yeah. When I watched 13th Year, I was afraid to drink water, though. Because he went bald when he drank water? No, he was a mermaid.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That could be happening to you. That was dramatic. His arm grew a fin. You could go bald, but at least you're not on heroin anymore. Let me feel your hair, because I'm curious about the asphalt texture.

Has your texture changed? It has. It's gotten drier, because it used to be smooth. Also, I would prefer casual heroin use with a full head of hair definitely guys guys that do heroin have the best guys in the kratom forums and subreddits are like yeah like i my hair is falling out even like the women like yeah i lost half my head no we'll not quit doing kratom but they convince themselves it's not bad. They are staunch proponents. I think that's like the whole... So you said it's healthy, it's organic, it's herbal. I hate to keep harping on this. It's funny.

How did you even hear about Kratom? And how did you decide to do it being so uninformed? I honestly don't know. Somebody said they did it. Don't want to throw them under the bus. They have a wife.

Somebody here? Yeah. They have a brand new wife. I don't want to get them mixed up in any like substance abuse issues. Okay. So I just like, I don't give it a try. They're like,

it kind of feels like opioids. I was like, I never have done even Vicodin, but I'm going to give it a try because I'm sober. I don't want to feel something. Okay. You something. Okay. You never. Okay.

You guys breaking out in a song reminded me of an unreleased episode we did when we were first trying. We've gotten better at podcasting. We're not good by any means, but we've gotten better, a lot better. We were so busy on the Rediscovering America trips. This was like the back of our priorities. We didn't give a fuck we and it was bad half of it was you know ads and stuff but one of the first episodes we did you two convinced me it would be funny if we brought people in here to sing us a song well it was pompeii by bastille that's what that was the song but you guys were like nick it would be a funny way if we just had

people come in here and sing bastille and it was and i was like guys this is going to be cringy this is going to be bad we said like 15 people you got like 15 people like big t who else a ton of people that were not really that close and it wasn't funny and i just they sang it like standing right there and it was the worst idea ever and do we have that it's got to be deleted right oh yeah thank god because that was like what what was the what was the point of that i've been sitting on this for a while you guys forced my hand there i thought it'd be like absurdist comedy for like, you know, a room full of people to sing that song. Sure. It was hilarious when me and Kyle were doing it.

Yeah. You guys were best stealing me. Yeah. When we were best stealing. Yes. Whatever. It's over. I don't know.

No, I just, that's something I think about every once in a while. Like we weren't even recording the pod. So you would just like faintly hear a choir of, of barstool stores, sports employees singing that. Yeah. Just curious. Just curious is all curious about what the thought process there. I don't know. I'm airing grievances right now.

Yeah. Do you have any, how about every time we like say a diff, a new sentence on this podcast, we first be paused the recording and then explain to you our thought process, what we're about to say so then we're all on the same page you can't this you can't compare the two you had to go around and asking people i was like i'm not sure if it's worth it

it wasn't like a spur of the moment thing that 15 people were walking by singing that we're like hey come in here it's a good song y'all fucked up fucked up big fast forward it is weird how like songs have a skip button um but podcasts have like the plus 15 second button like who would ever use that the plus 15 second button like what is that even what are you doing i don't me yeah well no we're like why yeah why would someone who presses that button be doing i don't think i quite understand why it exists uh like uh what what is happening within 15 seconds that no they hit it three or four times but yeah but why what what is it's like it should just be skipped to like the next podcast like why do you want to scrub through the episode that's yeah such an arbitrary amount of seconds

like 15 yeah anyway i'm gonna pause this conversation hold on 60 let me do an ad really quick while you guys are talking about that particular button i have a new idea for a sketch i've been writing down a few if you want to try to knock those out too this week maybe not this week which one do you want to hear sketching sketch comedy is just so uh you miss more than you hit risky yeah so i mean i know we've like discussed like doing the sketch show uh at least like a minute videos a week like a minute long sketches a week and then throw them all together at the end of the month in one whole show um being a like a four minute show i guess pretty good show um i was like watching dave

chappelle who was like his show was like the all-time sketch show it it misses more than it hits but like the ones that hit are like iconic and i don't know the best sketch shows that's why the probably hit rate is probably like 52 maybe the's less. I did 30. I think you should leave was probably like... 30. You think it was 30? Actually, no. I think you should leave. That's a shorter lifespan.

It's way shorter. It's only two seasons. I did all of KMPO a couple summers ago and that's like 20%. Yeah, they're also safe. They had boundaries. True.

They did have boundaries. Help them or hurt them. But like Chappelle, there's like four iconic sketches that people talk about and it made it is true but i don't i'm afraid because i have some written and i think we all do but i'm afraid to uh do them because i don't think i have the mental fortitude to have these horrible misses like remember when we did the pork off video? Big miss. It was. Yeah, agreed. So we were going to do it.

I want to do it. Let's just talk about the idea. And if it is good, we'll like guilt or like we'll forfeit. We'll fish for. Also, you got to think, though, if we're packaging them as a full episode, even if it's four minutes. though if we're packaging them as a full episode even if it's four minutes but if it's somewhat longer like some of the more misses get lost if they're packaged with like good ones yeah yeah that is true i guess that is like the fail safe of like a sketch show but i was thinking like for social if we post it doesn't snl misses a fuck ton yeah but someone commented it was like these guys take themselves too seriously us Us? Yeah. Who?

Someone did. Over what? What was the comment on? It was one of our podcasts. We take ourselves too seriously? That ain't true. That ain't true. Goofiest guys I know. But also, how else would you take yourself if you're going to take anything

seriously? I don't take myself seriously. Myself? What? What do you want me to take anything seriously, I don't take myself seriously. Myself. What? What do you want me to take seriously? If not myself, honestly, how do you take yourself? Unseriously?

Do you want me to, uh, take myself satirically and write my suicide note? Like it's a Jonathan Swift chapter and then blow my brains out in the name of irony. Like I'm in my, I'm in my apartment alone and I accidentally burned toast. I'm like like this is a fucking bit isn't it this is that what yeah whatever fucking weird brain over here it didn't

like linger with me yeah it no of course not you forgot all about it until you brought it up yeah verbatim no that wouldn't bother me at all someone someone also said some sideways shit to just me what did they say i didn't like that what did they say dm me on instagram this is when i was still in rage mode so i scrolled i scrolled down to like 2015 and double tapped his his brother's rip post oh no you didn't kyle that's fucked up that's fucked up that's funny and it wasn't even memorializing him like talking. It was just like, yeah, my my brother passed. That's all you're a monster. It already had like one hundred and seventy five likes. OK, you're adding to it.

I mean, what do you what do you do in there? If the post is just my brother died, R.I.P. Why are you liking that? Yeah. Why are you like you're liking the sentiment of resting in peace? You're supporting. That's how much the guy sucked. It was 175 people.

That was one of his most liked posts. That he was sad. Yeah. He had zero likes when he posted it. They were liking the fact that his brother died. Us having a semi-public job is nice because our most liked post will not be saying that a family member died. Never. That's one of the hidden perks of this. One of the one

perks that we have. Somebody commented today on the Yak YouTube that they said Nick reads all the comments. Fuck you. No, I don't. I saw that too. And it was probably the furthest down. And you don't.

What is the shame of reading the comments? If I don't read the comments, it's be like nick doesn't take feedback what do you want the worst is when the reddit will just be like sassano and i know you're reading this and the thing is you can't deny that you can't deny that i literally threw a wrench in that denial yeah no comment back didn't see what this said but no that is bad yeah you just can't win with these fucking people right i'm also tired of being called a lesbian you get a lesbian a lot what do i need to do to show that i'm not a lesbian fuck a dude that would be one way that's like all right fine you fucking win that's foolproof because that's

the only way you could yeah no uh nick's not a lesbian he got absolutely fucking ravaged by a man that is the only thing that lesbians objectively don't do i know so yeah i know it's been weighing on me you get it a lot can you guys just retell kyle's joke from right before we started recording we walked into this studio and uh out and about with pat a funny podcast pat and joey yeah um a gay podcast and i don't mean that in the derogatory term i mean in the literal term there yeah a little bit a little this little that yeah um and uh pat has his like feet up and he's they're not recording and he's talking about this cis presenting low t guy with a ponytail and kai winner obviously like yo you're fucking talking and wing they were using like a fuck ton of like vernacular yeah just jargon jargon yeah pat was like oh he's like a cis presenting uh het presenting low t

high e but he's taking t post-op uh ponytail guy that's coming to my place and kyle looks at him he's like yo yo yo you're talking to wingdings right now it's a good line. What the fuck is a ponytail? Which is, it had me tickled pink. And you're so straight, you don't know what a girl hairstyle is. What the fuck is this? You're so straight, you don't know what a pussy is. That's what it goes into. I've been watching Sopranos, obviously. Yeah, very quite obviously um

and yeah like they like convinced me that he like eating pussy is gay the sopranos have why his uncle jr was uh munching on bobby san felipo's box ad nauseum in boca on vacation yeah and like they were taught they were like bedside chatter and she he was like, you cannot tell anyone about this. Was he just eating her box? He was doing it well. And she was like complimenting him on it. Okay. And he was like, nah, you can't tell the guys.

If you suck a pussy, you'll suck anything. It's a sign of weakness. He said that? You said this on the yak? You've only been speaking in Sopranos. I think the yak list. Yeah. Oh, that was on the Yak? You said this on the Yak? You've only been speaking in Sopranos. I've been speaking in Sopranos. I think the Yak list.

Yeah. Oh, that was on the Yak. And then like Tony finds out and he's like just destroying him. He's like, he calls him like, what are you? Uncle June's whistling through the wheat field. He's a Bushman of the Kalahari and everyone's cracking up. They did a good job, a stellar job. So this guy is giving women orgasm without his penis and it's gay yes well troop says eating box is gay does he say that yeah he does it twice a year anniversary

valentine's day tony does it once a year once tony do it i've that the wife just made a good friday you only do it once a year and okay left to interpretation it was but it wasn't literal i bet it was just like rarely you rarely do it so it wasn't a literal once a year my tiktok has been gay wait what do you mean my algorithm my twitter algorithm's been gay really yeah i'm not liking the videos i'm you just follow gay man i'm not liking the videos or sharing them to anybody but i might be lingering i guess okay you're staying just long enough. It's becoming gay. Yeah. What, like, in your face gay?

Like, thinly veiled homosexuality? No, just most of the content. But, like, what's the gay content? I don't know. No, what's the gay content? Tell us. What? It's just, like, normal content, but they're gay.

It's so graphic, you don't know what's going on. Oh. Oh. Oh. I guess that counts. It's like, yeah. It's the gay algorithm. And foreplay.

Yeah. That's your algorithm? Yeah. Okay. What is your sketch? I have a couple. What do you want to hear? Please, please, keep it to one.

Pick your best one. The one I have a couple. What do you want to hear? Please, keep it to one. Pick your best one. The one I have is like... We're not on Shark Tank. Owen isn't Mark Cuban. Why don't you get one out of the way? I crave your guys' approval. I respect your opinion. Alright, alright. Dickhead. I don't think you do.

Yes, I do. I think you just want to hear outsides out loud. No, no, no. Because I take feedback well. And I also ask for help all the time. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Yeah.

Huh? All right. That's what I thought. Give us both. Both. I have a bunch. Um. Oh, gee.

Do you dislike me no i really want people to believe i do because i i'm very curious much like someone is like they want to know who shows up to their funeral or who like wouldn't uh mourn their i'm all for rotating the boy i uh i'm curious who would take my side and who would take your side. I would have Owen and everybody else. Okay, who would I? Without doubt.

I'm just nicer and more personable. You are. You might have... No, I take that back. No, it's me. It's you versus... KB versus everybody. Like Detroit. You'd get your dad. Nick would get the rest of your family i would get the rest of your family it's your sketch um do you remember when people did think like we were beefing and like somebody said like

trouble in paradise what was well i forget what it was People want us to have a rift badly. That's what people crave. Why? Yeah. I don't know. Come out on here. Hash it out. It would be good for us, probably. Probably.

Who's Cooper? Who's Franklin? I don't know what the reference is to. I just said reference wrong. Referrence. Call her daddy. I'm Ben. You're Alice.

Ben. Ben who? The inventor of electricity, Ben Franklin. And you are the Alice Cooper. I don't even know who she is. Alice Cooper is a man. Is it a rock star? In my head, I thought I got you.

I thought Alice Cooper was a woman woman so you're a nerdy ass scientist and i'm a fucking rock star alice oh fuck i knew that too i was thinking no i was thinking of alice in chains okay oh yeah fine i'll still stand by that. I'm Ben Franklin. One of the most famous people of all time. A dead, maybe

virgin. No, you can't claim that. And I'm a rock star at saying school's out for summer. Oh my god. Idiot. What's your sketch we're regular ben and alice on this show oh yeah i'm ben you're alice nice title

nice title we're not scientists in rockstar we're ben and alice you still have to hold that label of alice what alice did you mean i'm sorry kyle alice is such a dominantly female name but yeah you still gave me a guy the one man alice couldn't think of any other fucking cooper that's a woman and i thought i just came out it's still fun i'm i feel like i'm still winning this you're not you're alice no kb's right yeah kb's right um you want to know about my sketch yeah um the one i really tease it one more ad talk to me about quip is that what we're talking about i swear to god i use my quip every single day i love it no it guilts you into lasting or doing it longer yeah

time two minutes is so fucking long do you need help lasting longer at the sink i've been yeah i've been spitting too early at the sink. I leave the sink. I do fucking laps. Yeah, I hate the bathroom. I clean the house. Since I got the quip, I started doing laps. I can't stay at the sink. Was that on or off the kratom?

This was on the kratom. I haven't brushed my teeth since withdrawing off the kratom. KB's hoping to find some krat withdrawing off the crate. KB's hoping to find some crate. I'm like a residue with the brush. Um, no, I honestly,

uh, this is, I love the quip. It's sick. I have it stuck to my mirror. It's like the all black quip. It's stealth. It looks like a fucking stealth bomber.

It's not a bit much at all. It's stealthy. It's sleek. And I have so many quip points because it rewards you for brushing your teeth. And I found out I brush my bottom way too much like 60 of my uh no 70 of my brushing is on my bottom no way because i think that's what's visible i think that's where the food gets stuck though okay but when you i i brush my bottom more way doing it mentally my first time i did i brushed my bottom 90 more but now i'm now I'm damn near close to 50-50. And I wasn't brushing fast enough either.

It is fun. I was a lazy... Yeah, it is fun. 7 million mouths, people too, have used it. The Time Sonic Vibrations with 30-second pulses to guide Dennis recommended two-minute cleans. The reusable handles. So I've signed up for every three months I get a new battery and head and toothpaste. So I never have to do that shit again.

It has everything you need for a complete routine. It has the anti-cavity toothpaste, the refillable mouthwash. It has the brush heads, the floss, the gum refills. So they have it all. And you guys can get it. You can go to getquip.com slash untold right now to get your first refill free. That's your first refill free at getquip.com slash untold g-e-t-q-u-i-p

dot com slash untold Quip is a good habits company. That's what you need more of. Good habits, Kyle. Let's hear this sketch. What's the sketch? This one is like there is a murder, a brutal, brutal murder, but there's no evidence and the case

has kind of gone cold. There's nothing. And then they run into the detective's office and they're like, detective, we have a lead. And he's like, show me. It's like, it's on video. We have like in the top corner of this video. It's like you can see the shadows. You can see a little bit of the guy's face of who did it.

And they're like, show it to me. Where has this been? And it turns out it's like a youtuber's prank video and he's like in like walking around like a big ass he's like farting on people and so like they have to keep like rewinding the video while this murder is happening in the top subtly in the background turn up the volume on here see if i can hear screams then just like there's like big ass farts coming out of a big ass hole. Yeah, like Lance 210. It's like Lance 210. What if pretending to be dead for his girlfriend. Farting to death in front of his girlfriend.

I'm dying. I think it's my farts. Oh, he's the one who just beats the shit out of his grandma. Yeah. Good dude. No. Nico, our friend Nico used to be a grandma viner. Oh, I remember. Yes yes he went viral on vine he was good at vine yes really yeah he was a grandma viner um what if the zodiac killer is

in the back of uh the star wars kid video just watching you never notice yeah just like yeah we're so fixated on that sketch it would be funny it's funnier i think visually definitely that's what sketches are okay you think. Imagine a stand-up comic describing sketches. It's like, yeah, it's Prince and he's playing basketball, right? I guess that would be funny. I shouldn't have used the best

sketch of all time from the best comedian of all time. That's on me. That's a real Alice move. Kyle? Wait, still the goat? Yeah, I think so. You promised a prank call i said we i could oh sure let's do it and i think we should do a new thing a lot of podcasts do segments and it seems to be a good thing so this is our segment to get people involved you can tell the you can uh comment on the instagram or our Twitter clips of what place you want Kyle to prank call.

And he'll fucking do it. That's a great way for interaction. Or I could brainstorm it myself. No, because you're much funnier when you're given a task. Sorry. That's not how it works, pal. I will. Prank calling is tough Is it?

Takes some Do you want to do one right now? Let's end off the episode I'm better, I'm funnier when given a task So give me the prank You have admitted that you're better when you have Some restrictions Call a library

Yeah have i am i am uh call a library yeah you're ready to get a twist a lot but oh nick give him a twist oh god damn uh it's about uh you're returning a book that you didn't get from that library oh my god pretty good huh pretty fucking twisted huh book that you didn't get from that library. Oh my god. Pretty good, huh? Pretty fucking twisted, huh? Alright. What size is the book, Owen? Um...

I don't know. Probably either really small or really big. Yeah, it would have to be really small or really big. If only we have a crutch. That is our most popular podcast bit. Okay. What book is it? Tucker Max.

I hope they serve beer and help. No, no. That's too pranky. That is? Okay. Just give me a run-of-the-mill book. Just any book? A jumbo Quran or a mini Bible? Do you want to go religious with it? Nah, because that's too pranky as well. Okay, you just want a book. Just any book? A jumbo Quran or a mini Bible. Do you want to go religious with it? Nah, because that's too pranky as well. Okay, you just want a book. Yeah.

Grapes of Wrath. Grapes of Wrath. By Steinbeck. Yes. Yeah. Is One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest a book or was that just a movie? I think they should redo it. Have you ever seen One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest? Yeah, it's a great film. It's a great movie. It's about Jack Nicholson, who's playing a character. He pretends to be insane uh so he can go to an insane asylum

instead of jail i think that they should reboot that but it's a guy that's like just decides to be trans and goes to a women's prison it's like how damn you spent 20 years in the clink how was it dude just like it was the fucking best It was just eating pussy the whole time It was the best fucking He doesn't change his appearance I think that's a closed ass library You tried to call Minneapolis library

Yeah I'm starting fucking somewhere where the people are more pleasant Yep Sure It's the same voice It's the same fucking voice For two libraries I'm going down to fucking Tulsa The book's by Ken Kesey

Who? What book? One Flew Over the Cougar's Nest No I'm doing Grapes of Wrath I was just telling Nick Because he was curious Earlier in the conversation Quite

Jesus It is 8 o'clock You're gonna have to go west coast Is this every fucking library? You gotta go west coast Quite. Jesus. It is 8 o'clock. You're going to have to go West Coast. Is this every fucking library? You got to go West Coast. Is it on any receptionists? All right.

I'm going Bellingham, Washington. Yes. They have a good library there. A lot of bound books. I had a question about returning a book Grapes of Wrath it's the Jumbo Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck the jumbo sized one

would you return a book would I be able to return that i'm not understanding your question to be honest i have the the jumbos i have the the grapes of wrath book by john steinbeck and i was wondering if i could return it yes of course okay do they take the minis too? Now, I got this, I got this, I'm visiting cousins in Bellingham. I got this book at the Schusterman Benson Library in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Oh yeah, no, we won't be able to do that. I'm sorry, we'd have to pay the cost of shipping and we're unable to do that. Okay, so just, so if I do, I can return it for the shipping cost.

No, we weren't going to be able to do that for you. You just rejected that pleasantly, so I'm fine. Thank you. She was just nice. That didn't work at all. No, we'll cut all that. That could work, though. Hello?

Hello? Yeah, I had a question about returning a book. Yes, what is it? So I have the Grapes of Wrath, the John Steinbeck Grapes of Wrath, the Jumbo Hardcover, not the mini paperback handheld one, the jumbo hardcover Grapes of Wrath. So I had a question. What? What is the question for? We sold it at $8.45.

So I could return it by then. You can return it in the bin outside, or you can bring it in. All right, so I checked it out last week from the Schusterman Bensonenson library in tulsa oklahoma and now we only take nasa county home okay but i'm but i'm i'm not going back there anytime soon so i was wondering if i could just return the jumbo hardcover grapes of wrath to your library because that's the town I'm staying at indefinitely. You'd have to call tomorrow

and speak to someone here. Hold on one second, please. Okay. This might just work. You might just have to go buy Grapes of Wrath and just bring it to this library. That might be easier than I thought is she coming back she just really wants

to get out of there they close in 20 minutes ask if they'll stay open till like 850 stress that it's a jumbo. Yeah, just be like this. This probably will not fit on your shelf. That's what I'm saying.

You get to take out too many for returning a jumbo. They're going way up the staff. It might be like the CEO of libraries. James P. Library. Dalton Book. Hello? Hello? Yeah, hi.

So I understand you have a book from an out-of-state library. So it's the Jumbo Hardcover, The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck. I got it from the Benson Schusterman Library in Tulsa, Oklahoma, where I'm originally from. Right. But I'm in Nassau County indefinitely, and I need to get this book off my hands. Right. So the thing is, we don't have a connection to their system. So the best thing that I would recommend to do would be to contact them and find out what

they would like you to do. They may then ask, they may then contact us because they have to have some record of where it is. So if it just showed up there, you know, if we put it in the mail and you know. Yeah, completely understand. So contact them, see what they say to do, and then are you now an Elmont cardholder? Are you with someone who is? No, I'm just in the a door, a dumpster.

Unless we establish a communication with them because it's their book. They have to call the shop on what they want to happen to it. We can't assume responsibility until that. I get it. So this is the Tulsa Library's book. It's not yours. You can contact them. I'm sure they'll tell you what they want to do and if they want to contact us or tell you to have us contact them.

That's why I'm wondering if you're staying in Nassau, if you're going to get an Elmont card here, that would help. Then we'll have you in the system. You know what I mean? It's a question of the computers need to be able to talk to other yeah and document where this thing is and how it's getting there completely have that preference for what you're gonna do completely understand thank you but but if if we could rearrange or arrange something where i meet somebody somewhere like a staff member maybe like half the halfway point of my place to the library. I'm saying for this library, we can't move forward with anything from a library.

So some communication that if you want to come in and one of us will contact them while you're here, that's fine. It's a little late to do that tonight. That might expedite things. And so that's kind of what you're getting at. And then we can kind of just take it from there or they'll say you know absolutely not you're responsible for it I don't know what their response is going to be and I don't want to speculate as to that

I'm just not going to be able to get back to Oklahoma I can get there seven minutes tonight it's just too late because I just have too much to do before we close if there is a way If there is a way. If there is a way to help me get this book off my hands, I can make it happen.

Are you available to do it tomorrow? That's what I'm asking. Yes. Or during the day. Midnight. Tonight is a really tight call. Yeah. That's all I'm saying. No, I completely understand.

I'm here by myself and I have to close up in the next half hour. Yeah, thank you for your time. Tomorrow you have a full staff. So come in tomorrow. I appreciate that. Thanks for your time. Thank you for understanding. But if... You're so nice.

Oh my god. People are so nice. my god I know it's you almost have to go satisfactory prank when they're nice no but it's weirdly just it's funny yeah it's just yeah it's funny if but

all right so send in your recommendations back to Oklahoma also we have new merchandise out on the bar. None of us is wearing it. But the hoodies are champion. They're really nice. Worth the price. They are good, yeah.

The beige shirts are very cool. The black shirts are nice. So please, if you guys could get all three or get two of each, that would be really awesome. No promo codes there. None of that. I'm happy with them, yeah. i'm happy with them i'm happy with them yeah i'm plastering any receipt on the instagram story oh my god that'll mean a lot to them yeah it'll bring the community together it really will and that's what we want to do

uh but thank you send some uh recommendations to kyle send the receipts to owen and uh yeah that was this week's episode what do are we going to title this one? Ben and James. Ben and Alice. Ben and Alice. Yeah, it works. Yeah, that'll make you do that. Let's see what happens. Hey, is that story old or told? No, baby! It's a new untold story.

A new untold story. It's a fresh, big untold story. A new untold story. A new untold story.