A New Untold Story - A New Untold Story: Ep. 269 - Little Blouse on the Terry

Episode Date: December 16, 2021

|| A New Untold Story: Ep. 269 - Little Blouse on the Terry || The boys discuss the root of KB's EDM persona, Nick's weekend from hell, taking bass lessons in high school, building a hypothetical roster of Terry's, & much more || Full episodes also available on YouTube || Thank you guysYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, a new untold story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcast, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad free on Amazon Music. Now we're back. Not doing the PG-13s this week. I think that it should be like a Christmas week thing when we're apart, because that'll be a more visual thing anyway. We do it over Zoom. And plus, the people that we wanted to be on have are either sick or just don't really want to do it. And the PG-13s is an annual event we do.

It is. It's an awards ceremony. Yeah. It's the Pussy Gitter 13s. The top Pussy Gitters in 13 different categories. That's right. Last year was Pussy's Pussy, I remember. There was Pussy's Pussy and Pussy's pussy's pussy that's how the pg-13 started

we realized grammatically pussy apostrophe s pussy pussy's pussy can mean two different things exactly yeah it's plural or possessive right yeah it's like one could be like man's man yeah pussy's pussy yeah but it would be the and then one is the pussy pussy apostrophe s pussy is pussy that's right pussy pussy uh that was one that was two of the categories yeah um we'll bring back some new categories some brand new categories that you haven't heard or seen before and some of the old ones it will probably bring bring back Harry's pussy. We'll have to bring back Harry's pussy, which was won last year by Best Truman, Harry Truman's wife.

One of our personal favorite first ladies. Yeah, so we're really excited for that and we're going to have some guests come in. Yeah. Yeah, we'll have some guests come in and guest present. Yeah, it'll be fun for everyone.

Yeah, it really will be. But this week, we're just going to do a fun little episode, us three. I'm Nick, Kyle, and Owen. Today's episode is brought to you by, any guesses? Dudes. Yep, of course. It's Dudes Wipes. It's time to have a serious chat.

Dudes Wipe. Boys, I don't like toilet paper do you no never have it's a burden it's a real burden because it's just a big role it's an eyesore when you see it in a bathroom our job is getting tougher because we're at a point where people yeah like the average person isn't using toilet paper anymore so how do we even sell dude wipes further like how do we take it to the next level so everyone is everyone's using wipes but how do we make people use more dude wipes well dude wipes has the ace in the hole if if you will yeah the mint chill the mint chill and a fun little d i hate like going off in tangents but

a fun little diy hack are you about to stress something enough i'm gonna i will stop me when i stress enough tell me when okay um a fun little diy hack especially during the holidays with your mint show wipe you take one out yeah you fold it up i know exactly what you're going to do with this you fold it up like like a like you're making a play-Doh snake. Uh-huh. Yeah. I didn't want to say blunt. Yeah. And you just dab one tip, one end into peppermint schnapps or whatever your go-to holiday spirit is.

And then this is pre-shit. This is like... Did you just fart when you... I didn't fart. I didn't fart. You're stressing. I didn't fart. I didn't fart. You're stressing. I didn't fart. This is pre-shit. And you just tickle, tease the perimeter.

Tease implies no contact. Tickle. Tickle. Tickle with the peppermint schnapps. Lathered. Lather is a strong word. Dude wipe. And it will, two things.

It will give you a nice buzz. It will give you a nice buzz. It will give you a nice buzz. And when the shit does come out, when you take your next poop... When you take your next poop. The acidity and the toxicity of the alcohol will help deteriorate the feces faster. So it's less work for the wipe,

even though the wipe gets the job done but it'll just make the process that much easier go on and it's a nice holiday it's a nice holiday flip and you guys can do that at home uh when you check out dudewipes.com with code anus15 a-n-u-s-1-5 for 15 off your entire order yeah get the mint chill dip it in some alcohol. A tiny bit. A tiny bit. Lather. Less is more. The rim. And experience a new way to poop. And let us know when you do it.

Theme song. Is that your reply to what I'm going to say? No, you're just going to say like, no, that's a new untold story. Hey, is that story old or told? No, baby. That's a new untold story. A new untold story. It's a fresh, big untold story.

A new untold story. Kyle, you've been a little DM machine over there. What do you know? Uh-huh. We had to delay the show because you were DMing. You would have done the same. Were you DMing on your account or the Yak? I thought it was my account. I guess it was the Yak. It's the Yak.

Somebody sent a DM to the Yak account, like personalized to me. I'm always on both accounts. I thought it was my personal account. Yo, I think this is the porn that KB was talking about today. You were very, very general

with your porn. On the Yak, I described a pornography. Not well, because I mean, I've been searching for this for years. With those keywords for years. And I haven't found it. And I've tried... What were the keywords? I think it was... You were looking up candy necklace.

Candy, edible, bikini, holiday, rave, foursome, one black, one white. And I was typing all of that verbatim into my search bar, like hoping and praying for anything, never found it. And this guy just finds it. And he sent it to you. Yeah.

So I'm, so of course I'm going to respond. And is it in, first of all, title mofos, beer bongs and dirty teens. And the tags are anal and absolute babe. So I did not, I did not search anal or i don't remember the anal remember i never got to the anal you used i i in my head i thought this was like a mardi gras or saint patrick's david what was it was just neon green like they were like playing like makeshift beer pong in like a hotel room and when did you first watch it so many years ago are you going to watch it again before it

was like right after i finished summer heights high are you excited are you embarrassed that like now that we know the i don't know it's a weird what did he say what did he what did the guy say oh well now i'm looking at the comments on the video there's there three. It's a re-upload. I'm sure there's thousands on the original. It's made my day. Nice direct action. And please DM me the name of the

tattooed busty. The tattooed busty, yes. The tattooed busty. Was that you? That wasn't me. Five years ago, Dexter067. Oh, fuck. You have used Dexter as accounts before.

I have. I would remember. I know I have a lot of aliases. You actually used Dexter? Yes, I have a lot of... I was obsessed with the show Dexter a while. When it came out. Please DM me the name of the text.

And everyone was like... Everyone said I reminded them of Dexter. Not important, but... What part? Okay. But what was I getting at? I was trying to... Okay.

You were trying to find more of this video because you had no idea you would lose it forever. Were you into EDM when you found this video? What? No. So did this get you into EDM and raves? I don't even... This video has molded your entire life. The worst part is I did...

I made a burner Reddit account. You posted on tip of my penis? It's r slash tip of my penis. And no action on it. I think one guy even replied, this man down bad. On r slash tip of my penis. And what was your burner name? I'm actually getting roasted by a moderator of R slash tip of my penis. That was just a commenter.

I got to do an AMA on R slash tip of my penis. Why? That's what like micro celebs do. Wait, so this is what got you into the culture of EDM? No, it was insane. He found it. Yeah, it had to have. Candy necklaces.

This is five years ago. When did you start going to concerts? Snake Pit 2017. 16 or 17. This video shaped your entire music taste. Were you hoping to find

this anal babe at the raves you were going to? An anal awesome babe. I figured she would be at some of them this exact one i don't want to talk about porn because it's not like a problem for me it's not no it's not no no but it's edm is oh the guy said though my ex-girlfriend went to school with one of the girls in this video and when he described it should just hit man and what did i say and he kept going he said i hope this is the video for real because this is already weird and i'd be really hate to be weird and wrong and then you flirted with him

i didn't flirt with him what no fucking way man this is it i don't know who should feel weirder between the two of us i don't know who should feel weird you flirted with that guy and then he said om OMG, let's go. It's not like a flirt. It's like a... Why did you think it was a holiday? Because they were in like neon green costumes. The men and the women? Costumes.

And they're like playing like... It's an anal foursome? That's what I'm saying. It's straight to... I never made it to the anal part. Owen, it's an 8 minute video forget about it this timeless classic

that you've rewatched a million times you've never made it all 8 minutes no Owen turn the volume down and just start it and see where no have you have you watched it since no i know i haven't got this is this just happened like just now yeah we can you do a live as we were starting to but i mean if this guy is

tangentially related to this girl, then I don't know what he could do for me. So I'm going to try to get on his nice side. Is that girl, how old is she now? I watch this on my PSP. So she Oh. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, I get this.

You get why? Yeah. Flip it around. That's cool. So they're they have big tits and they're playing beer pong. It's all neon. One of them has big tits. What's the other one have? I thought you were accusing her of being trans.

I thought you were accusing her of being trans. Yeah, she probably is trans now. Alright, so we have a minute. Yeah, the way this world's going. A minute of beer pong and then we're getting into tits. There's no real

anal yet. Is this like strip pong? Is it just two girls? I think the beer pong really enhanced my suspension of belief that this is a real video. Oh, I think this video is a teaser for the anal. You only get it for the last 24 seconds. Thank you.

In my head, I was like, when did they... Yeah. Wait, there's a full video waiting for you somewhere. There is a full video. Okay, but yeah, so 24 seconds left. You get that. Okay. So you've never made it the full eight, but maybe seven 30,

even seven 30. Um, your whole entire life has spawned from this video. This was the only video on the tip of my penis. Every other time I've like tried, I've've i've found something i've been looking for what website was that on uh this was bang bros is that how you know x hamster x hamster yeah i forgot about it and you found it like i can't look at x hamster why you know like when you like think of something a certain thing you you can like smell it even if you're not around it yeah i just think of like the hamster cage smell just because the name hamster i can't do x hamster yeah okay yeah

you smell hamster bedding you know like the you can you know it's a distinct smell like wood chip the wood chip yeah all right yeah all right. All right. Yeah. All right. So be it. Today, we also have a great sponsor that we love. Amazon Music, Kyle. Amazon Music. It's a good place. It's a great place for podcasts, especially ad-free podcasts.

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Just go to amazon.com slash ANUS. That's amazon.com slash ANUS or just search ANUS in the search bar of amazon um now are they doing their own music or is that they crowd sourcing from other artists you think amazon is music maybe um no no i think they're crowd sourcing amongst artists um yeah but that's uh that's go to amazonmusic.com uh renews automatically cancel anytime terms do apply there were like companies that were starting to do music wasn't um who's the band that did say gatorade kind of red bull a sale was um a wall nation a wall nation

yeah they did uh they were red bull they were sounded by red bull oh so that's something interesting sorry i'm sick i was fucking miserable these past few weeks we got days what you had like the flu real bad really fucking bad and uh i was debating way worse than covid maybe yeah i mean in the history of it yes um i have a question did you ever did you tell somebody did somebody ask you what was wrong with you who did anyone text you and say what's wrong yeah did and did you ever reply i just have a run- the mill flu. No. Okay. Yes, I have once. That's happened before?

Yes. And what was their response? What's the mill flu? Is he happy? I got a text from somebody like, what's wrong? He said, I have a run of the mill flu. This person isn't smart. And they said, what's the mill flu?

Yeah, it's funny if you let them know it was a girl. Yeah, it was a girl. it was a girl yeah yeah it was sorry i didn't know where you're going with that um no i was down really really bad you did did you shit your pants uh worse what's worse shit the bed with pants on oh with uh tommy john underwear real real tight real real tight real real tight and it was like i had not slept i bet it was a hot poop so if it was real tight then how did it escape flattened i was like it was it was just like um you know play-doh snakes you move in your sleep just like a plate damn okay now i can only metaphor now i can conceptualize the yeah how it happened i've realized you make a ton of play-doh references for things like the play-doh haircut play-doh spaghetti i think you bring up play-doh a lot more than

an adult oh you just shit your bed so the man this was like the worst how does that happen you're just i'm so sick i'm my my fever is like 104 and yeah cold compresses around me i just close my eyes and it just happens i don't feel like i have to shit. I had not, I hadn't had a solid food in three days. And so gross. No, it gets worse. I get up and in New York city, when you shit the bed, I don't know what you do with it.

You have to just throw away the underwear and the sheets. You can't bring that into like the cleaner. And just be like, by the way, there's a turd somewhere in the whole bed. There's a turd in here somewhere. And so I, um, threw it all away

so that would apply to all cities not just new york now it's a new york thing yeah it's a new york thing it's like it's you can only shoot yourself in new york and have an issue um i threw it away i go to the shower i just stand in there close my eyes i'm like what like i first of all i've looked myself in the mirror for some reason. I'd like two lazy eyes. And I was like, Oh God, I get in the shower. I close my eyes. I turn the shower on. I close my eyes, like fill my mouth up with water, spit it out. And I look and my water's just pitch black. And there was a water line broken outside. Jesus.

And so I'm covered in dirt and my own poop there's no way for me to get this off my body and i can't brush my teeth because there's no and so i'm just for the entire saturday i'm burning up 104 degrees laying on a bare mattress covered in dirt i'm like visibly dark and i just shit myself i'm trying to think of a worse scenario yeah yeah that was the lowest point of your life maybe shitting the bed well somebody shit your pants in high school yeah my second my second day of high school public high school buddy buddy varner yeah yeah fuck it i'll say the name yeah he's a good guy i love him to death i always have My second day of high school, public high school. Buddy. Buddy. Varner. Yeah, fuck it.

I'll say his name. Yeah. He's a good guy. I love him to death. I always have. Can't say the same for you. He did shit in your... He didn't... Yeah, he shit your pants.

Yeah. I went to... So we went... Have we talked about this on the podcast? This is a gym class. Yeah, so... Well, this was just before or after you skipped the mile? Let me...

Shut the fuck up. So you didn't... So this was just before or after you skipped the mile? Let me... Shut the fuck up. So you didn't... Oh, this is like your first day of school, right? No, second. You skipped the fitness gram pacer test. Because you were afraid. But you skipped the mile, literally. That's how you ran it.

That is how I ran it. Buddy Varner... So, let me preface this. I switched from a private grade school eighth grade we went to k to eight saint vincent's and then i switched to uh public school and i was really excited my mom took me shopping and we didn't really have too too much money and so uh she tried to revamp my wardrobe but i could only get two pairs of jeans we got from buckle and i was super excited wore my first pair the day. Second day I wore the second pair and,

uh, I put them, took them off, put them in the locker. I never knew you needed a lock for a locker cause I was surrounded by good Catholic people. And in public school, that's not the case.

I go and I do gym class, um, come back and there's just a turd in my pants. Yeah. But do you think that's, but did he, how did you know it was him said it he said he was like he told you yeah you're shitting your pants yeah

um and he it wasn't like he was he like he was handicap himself later on oh this is before he got shot yeah yeah he got shot himself in the leg shattered it but i did like a little tiger was tiger woods fist pump on that me yeah i smirked yeah um no uh he like got mad at me like i remember i was such a sheltered not like push over a little pussy that he shit my jeans i put i like ball them up and i'm like my hands are over the garbage can to throw him away. He's like, you're fucking throwing him away. I'm like, I'm sorry, man. I apologize. I can put myself in his shoes.

Yeah. The prank works if you fulfill it by putting on the shit. I can understand his frustration. Is that what he wanted? Yeah. He's a very successful electrician now. You're who else? We got bullied by a lot of people yeah but no but that might have been the lowest maybe for my dad and my mom when i came home they were

like there they were really excited my first week of high school like nick how was like how was your second day how was gym class they looked down i'm still in my gym shorts there's like my dad's like oh somebody's shitting your back they knew he knew this kind of son he raised yeah it was a real uh i'm still um trying to get healthier from all that but no more no more shitting myself i didn't think it would ever happen to me but i guess it can we're just going to put this here it It's going to break immersion. This wasn't here before. We broke continuity. Yeah. Kyle had to go get a drink.

He needed it. We're doing an ad for them. Not yet. Yeah. You just asked me six minutes ago. I'm a role player. What does that mean? You're like the main character.

It's a good team win. What? This. We're not doing this yet. It's a good team win. What does that mean? That is a Paranormal thing? No, that's what people always tweet that.

When the team wins, they say it was a good team win for some reason. You ever see that? No. It's not like a, yeah, sure. Yeah, you have. That was a good team win as opposed to like, I don't know. But this has nothing to do. When one player carries the whole team,. That was a good team win as opposed to like, I don't know. But this has nothing to do... When one player carries the whole team,

that's not a good team win. A good team win one is the whole team comes together, kind of performs equally. So this episode's going to be a team win. Good team win. Okay. It's all of this.

All right. You don't know about teams. You never even had it. You want your whole life... You got your pants shit in and then you want your whole life no what you got your pants shit in and then you went your whole life without a teammate jesus christ i mean that's something you have to think about at night i've never even had a real teammate i think the closest you never had a coach you you had like a base coach that's not a coach it was an instructor you're getting base lessons

yeah i got my that was the closest thing you've had to a teammate or a coach. I'd argue I learned more from my base instructor than you did any coach you ever had. Counter argument. Okay. No. You did base lessons in Wheeling, West Virginia? A Gerrero music. Like it's closed.

Okay, yeah, that makes sense. So I'm sure you learned a lot. I did. He taught me more than... I like to make this little joke. My second bass lesson happened the first time I walked in there. He skipped all the syllabus? Taught me how to fingerbend. What?

What do you mean? Second bass. This dude was obsessed with pussy. His name was Zaxxon. Zaxxon? Yeah, he was a rock star. his name was zaxon he was zaxon yeah he's a rock his name was zach probably he told me to call him zaxon i think i know what okay yeah yeah you know him he gave you okay he gave you bass lessons yes and he was he was obsessed with pussy oh it was the cool i sat down there and i was so enamored by him. I was so enamored by him.

He gave you a second bass lesson. He was just like, you're playing bass, huh? And he was like, it's going to strengthen your finger banging pussy. And I had a pick. He was like, no, you need to learn how to finger pussy. This is creepy. No, this was like, in my head, he was like this old weathered rock star. He like sat down there, crossed his legs, and he was like and on top of his amp, he had a can of Mountain Dew.

Was he even good? And he was just like, that's been out for three days. You mind? I was like, what? He was like, you mind? I was like, no. And he just took a sip. What do you mean?

He asked you, do you mind if I take a drink of my? He asked if he. Yeah, he was the coolest guy. His Mountain Dew. Isn't that the coolest thing? No. No. He taught me everything I need to know. If you're searching him, it's Zach Schmidt.

Zach Schmidt? Yeah. He was in my class. Yeah. So your bass instructor was younger than you? He was teaching you how to finger bang. Yeah. So your bass instructor was younger than you? He was teaching you how to finger bang? Yeah.

Yeah, it was cool. But I remember as soon as I... He did go by Zaxxon. Like, self-proclaimed. No one ever,

like, called him that. Z-A-C-K-S-O-N. Yeah. Yeah, I remember I sat down and he's like, don't put on the bass yet.

Took a sip of the mouth. He got to do the SATs twice. Yeah. He was on the scantron and he, like, bubbled Zaxxon and it was a constant error He's like, don't put on the bass yet. Took a sip of the mouth. He got to do the SATs twice. Yeah. He was on the scantron. He like bubbled Zaxxon and it was a constant error and like helped him out a lot. Yeah, he got a lot more done. Was he actually getting pussy? No. He was gay.

Shut the fuck up. No. Who is the best bass player? Who's like regarded? Bobby Guy. Paul McCartney. Oh, ever, ever. I'd like to go to school. Bobby Guy. I was like the fucking Bobby Guy. Paul McCartney. Oh, ever, ever. I thought you meant our school. Bobby Guy. I was like, the fucking Bobby Guy.

Bobby Guy. Yeah, he had an ant farm. I saw. That's sick. He didn't know. Who is the best ever? Victor Wooten. I don't know.

Claypool. Yeah. Wow. McCartney. Not really. What's Claypool's name? That was, I think you're Geddy Leaf from Rush.

Who's the Claypool guy? I know who you're talking about. Les. Les Claypool? Okay, yeah. Why? We call it Zach. Zach's in gay Claypool. And he didn't teach you how to... He taught you his second base lesson was more of a handjob. No, no, no. He was like, no. He was upset. He gave you a handjob lesson. He wanted a handjob no no no he's like you know he was upset

he gave you he wanted me to get pussy so bad there was more pussy he wanted she wanted you to talk he wanted you to jerk him off yeah that was yeah no it was a nick nick can i call you nick playing the bass is just like stroking a dick it's not at all so he said it was like fingering a pussy but he's like but you're never gonna get real pussy wearing that and he pointed my live strong bracelet and he just put his hand out, gave it to him. I think I saw him wearing it at school like the next day. Told me not to look at him. Dude, that guy was a fucking legend.

Zaxxon ruled. But like in my head, he was like a 48-year-old weathered rock star. He was, he like skipped, he was my age. He was younger than you yeah so be it i think he does drugs now like you he's a moderator of r slash it's on the tip of my penis he is he might be now he got very big into like role playing when you're playing when you're playing bass you gotta let the song breathe when you're giving me a hand job, you got to let the dick breathe. Nick, can I call you Nick?

You're suffocating the shaft. Meanwhile, the balls are down there. Like, hey man, what's up with this? I'm here too. You know? Yeah. Those calluses, you can use a pumice stone on them. Get them from Amazon.

Precum isn't the boogeyman, Nick. It's actually the perfect lubrication. He wasn't gay. Trail down the tip. No, I think, no, no, no. I remember him being tall as fuck, too, but I think I was taller than him as well. You made me call him tall man. You went by tall man.

I know. I didn't know if that was an irony thing because wasn't like short enough for that to be ironic. No, he was like 5'10". He was probably like 5'11". Yeah. Call me Tall Man. No, he's an odd guy. Could really play the bass.

An idol of mine. We got to get him in. No, but I don't know. He's like a druggie now. Like you because I'm disappointed in you. Mr. Rasta. Well, first of all i'm gonna talk about black rifle coffee that's my drug wait what you relapsed oh hold on well black rifle coffee is

a veteran-owned coffee company serving premium coffee to those who love america brcc is continually committed to supporting veteran law enforcement and first responder cases they import their coffee beans from all over the world and roast five days a week. You can go to black rifle coffee dot com slash and U.S. to use code and U.S. today. Get the freshest coffee in America shipped to you. That's my drug of choice, Kyle. Yours. Black rifle.

Yeah. Mine's Kratom. You fucking relapsed and you told us right before we started and I can't get it out of my head. It's so good jesus dude it's good the worst part is so i the first time i relapsed i didn't actually relapse i unrelapsed immediately i went to wait what i went to like i went to a smoke shop in fideye and it's it's humbling to i just point to it i'll get the vial and the guy behind me i laughs and he's like i've never seen anyone buy those from behind the counter

and that is humbling he looked like a ai composite of every barstool fan so i don't know i don't know if he knew what he was doing but i was shamed to a point where I just threw it away. You didn't have him. What? You didn't have that one. Went back later. The same place. Got the same one. And? I did it. And? Full viral? There was. Yeah. Full viral. There's the magic. Yes.

And what'd you do? What? What did you do on it? I couldn't move. You were texting us last night like, I am so high. Remind me I'm... What? I don't have a kratom problem. I never said no. Okay, I don't want people to

think that. I didn't do the whole vial at once. You used the term relapse. Did you do the whole vial? No, not at once. How long did it take? Twice. I did it that twice. It's disgusting. It tastes like primordial dort it's the worst tasting thing like dort what's dort i don't know i was gonna say it looked like the tastes like dirt but it doesn't it tastes worse

tastes like some dort it's the one thing worse than dirt. Wait, what day was this? This was like two weeks ago. Okay, you're doing fine. Last night you texted us though. Yeah, you wanted us to remind you. You said remind me tomorrow how high I was. That was bad.

I was in panic attack mode. What happened? I took just like four, three cheese Skittles. And. What did you do? I was freaking out. You texted.

I told myself not to text you guys. It's not funny. He texted me a screenshot of his notes app. He texted me individually and it just says, man. No. And then I like like i had like a crisis like that wasn't funny i don't want like i don't want to tell nick and owen because i don't want this to be like it's not funny to get too high but your only note is man what it is well i had a bunch of notes i was freaking out my like headline my notes app is highest i've ever been and i couldn't spell

i kept spelling highest with an e-i-g-h i documented that and then heist not high was my mistake in the title and then i started like doing like a log um no it says don't worry i kind of didn't remind myself don't worry because i was, I don't want to go to the hospital again. So I kept reminding myself, don't worry. But I couldn't think. 1.15 a.m., don't worry. 1.16, this panic attack is better than the last. 1.16, but way more confusing.

1.16, time's moving so slow. I just want this high to be over. Wait, how many minutes was that in between? 1.16, 1.17. Oh, no. Can't get over how confusing this high is. Can't even put it into words. Way more intense than acid and shrooms.

117. Can't fathom how slow time is moving. 117. Wait, this is all the same minute. Don't test Owen and Nick about this. 118. Panic attack minor. 118.

Keep fading in and out of reality. 118. Fuck. 120. No longer panic mode zen 120 come on so you found zen at 120 in the morning it's so long kyle dude i couldn't think it's like every every thought i had i immediately right after, I couldn't remember what I just was thinking. I guess an emptiness in the head is a strange feeling. I get that they're doing this rote memory thing of don't worry. Don't text Owen and Nick. Don't worry.

No longer panic mode Zen. That's 120. 120. Come on. 120. How is it still 120? Time was moving so slow. So that was when you were already in zen mode you still couldn't believe i was going in and out of i was having my zen mode lasted just 30 seconds and my panic attack did too i was going and then i had like

varying crises and i would look at the clock and time didn't change 120 how is it still 120 120 you wrote 121 wait wait oh then i oh yeah because as i was typing 120 it turned to one what time did he put in his notes don't text us uh this was 117 okay 113 was when we got the man. I said that to you. Yeah. Oh my God. And then finally. Oh, whoa.

Oh, you have way more than I thought. Holy shit, Kyle. I was keeping a log. Just to keep my mind working. 121. Fuck this. Don't worry. 122.

Panic is going away worry 122 panic is going away 122 time is moving too slow 123 screenshot 125 depressive episode what happened there i don't boys it was more it wasn't like a whole episode though it felt like a full depressive episode. Too high to even think. Can't get over this. On the verge of panic again. Mental anguish. Too stupid to think. Keeps going in fever dream-like circles.

Don't worry, this will pass. Meta thought jumble. Deja vu type feeling. 131 mile panic attack. This is all just one panic attack,yle it's within 10 minutes uh time is still moving mind wrenchingly slow you're great use of words mind wrenchingly slow wrenchingly it's not a term it's got wrenchingly mind wrenchingly don't worry don't write anymore 132 this is hell you were using your mind wrenchingly time way too slow and way too high 132 how is time going so slow don't worry my mind is never broken like this i'm amazed 136 times still too slow in mental hell and then don't worry now what were

you trying and then you were trying to just log through it yes i had i had such little control of my own thoughts in mind that i had like in order to like stay alert i had to just keep but why did you why'd you have to stay alert couldn't you have like zoned out i was like trying to sleep and i it wasn't working. Okay. My mind was fucked. Yeah. But the day that happened, you text us,

you're like, I'm a weed guy. No, I finally achieved. Yeah, I thought I was, I thought I was, and this is just three cheers.

It's still, it's a good product. Yeah, it's a good product. It's helped your life for the better did you did you hear how i was in zen mode how many people can fucking accomplish that for at least 30 seconds it was it was probably not its own law seconds zen mode began and ended in the same minute as two panic attacks. Yeah, 120 was a big minute for my life. The best is 122.

Fuck this. Oh my god. So you were just staring at your clock? Well, the notes happen. The clock they kind of go hand in hand. Sure, yeah. I guess so. Oh man, not a weed guy any anymore

nah that's still fuck with it would you do that again do you want that again it was fun yeah yeah you said it was it was mind right yeah you got to take the good with the bad what's the good when's the last time you were in zen mode oh what long time yeah there we go so you did you do that all again for fuck this let's prank call somebody a pizza shop we've tried to get ebony in here like three weeks in a row now she's she's yeah nowhere to be found i think she's sick flu like me she's sick yeah well no wonder what thanksgiving holidays being around like so many all those terries you're gonna you're bound to catch something from one of the terries you think one of the terry which terry which are the six terries the six terries she has six relatives

named terry yeah well no it's like all her brothers. Direct relatives. Like, immediate siblings named Terry? Yeah, she's six. In her family? Yes. What? You don't have six Terrys? You don't have six brother Terrys? If somebody's, like, icebreaker at the beginning of a class in college

was like, I have two siblings named Terry, I would be like, oh, fuck. And I would go and I would like tell my roommate and I'd wake him up and like hey like something funny happened in class this is pre social media yeah like where that would have been like a good tweet no it'd been like something like interesting to

tell a roommate oh yeah but six it's too many you don't you don't think it's as weird as I think it is I definitely think she has six siblings named Terry. I only know one person who has six siblings. And they all have different names. She has enough Terry's in her family for like there to be multiple Terry crews. Like two different crews of Terry's.

Yeah. Rival gangs. How do they differentiate? Terry's. Yeah. Rival gangs. How do they differentiate? They probably, yeah. They go by metal names or. It's probably how many different Terry's are there? What,

what do you mean? There's probably like different Terry's like a loud Terry, a quiet Terry. I'm trying to think of the, at the cookout and you got the grill master. The grill master is Terry. One of the, is Terry a grill the cookout, you got the grill master. The grill master. Is Terry a grill master? The grill master Terry.

Vegetary. Call him Terry Shivo. Who else? Violent Terry. A violent Terry? Oh, battle rapper Dysententery that's a good one or he no one of the terry's the one is uh died of dysentery yeah oh yeah he called violent terry told violent terry is his hairline looked like the mcdonald's logo and then violent Terry killed him. Now he's died a disincentive

cemetery. Cut him in half. Cut him in half. Semi Terry. Yeah. Who else? Sanitary. Sanitary.

Santa Terry. OK. Yeah. Yeah. That's one. Yeah. That is one of them. I'm going to bring yeah that's one of them that is one of them she did bring that up that one of her siblings is santa santa claus

trans terry what is that one little blouse on the terry she's wearing a little crop top a little house on the prairie yeah little blouse on the terry. Come on. Yeah, that one was right there in front of us. I don't know how we didn't think of that one.

Terry with a P. Devin Singletary. Like a pterodactyl. Yeah. How's he doing? He's extinct. He died of dysentery. He died of dysentery?

The one Terry hates getting diced. They just keep dying of dysentery. The one Terry hates getting dicked. They just keep dying of dysentery. Dysentery is a menace. What else is there? They just can't help themselves. White Terry. What's he? He's just their friend.

He's a lefty. Yeah, it's a white Terry. Statutary. Statutary. he's a white um statue yes statue terry how did what happened why did he get that how did he earn that name it was a dual dual meaning there yeah this isn't dead terry they do they didn't

make like a memorial no no i think he statue in a concrete factory terry was um he slipped and fell into a vat of cement while he was fucking his high school girlfriend yeah at the concrete plant yeah that was the only place they could get away and no there were no security cameras it's crazy how like perfectly they're all the different terry's like how their nicknames like fit yeah Yeah, it is wild.

Statue Terry. Yeah, it is crazy how that worked out. Yeah, good gang of Terry's. We should. I want to talk to them. The Terry's. Yeah. I want to like say what I just said to them.

No, I don't. OK. At least tell me in front of Violet Terry. You guys remember the Firecracker video, Back It Up Terry? Yeah. Oh, shit. Was that one of the Terry? Yeah. I don't know if you could speculate on that, but it's got to be.

Oh, not even like playing that. I'm just thinking like, yeah. Yeah, not even playing. It probably was. Not even playing. Terry was in a wheelchair. Terry with a P before. That could have been cemetery.

Semi-terry. Semi-terry. Now he has legs. Tributary. Terry's. Well, I just like, dude, they could have like a Terry pickup game. Shirts for skins. Just Terry's.

Playing basketball. A dick measuring contest what but you would do that right a dick measuring contest terry potter and the order of the penis terry potter and the goblet of fire no sorcerer's Stone Half Blood Prince Got any? Half Blood Prince Yeah

It's funny like your bulge and sweatpants You're kind of cheating You're kind of hard That's a half blood prince Those are half blood prince You have a big bulge But guess what you're half erect Those are half blood prints. Yeah, I mean, yeah. The belt. Yeah, yeah. You have a big ball, but guess what? You're half erect. That's half blood prints.

These half blood prints. It's not fair. You're not fully soft. I thought the Terry bit was dying and we caught a second wind. We caught a runner's eye with a Terry. Yeah, so I brought it back. We're back there. Half blood prints.

Half blood prints. We brought a runner's eye with a Terry. Yeah, so I brought it back. We're back there. Half-blood Prince. Half-blood Prince. That. Half-blood Prince has legs outside of the Terry bit because it doesn't rely on the name Terry. Yeah, you're right. It's nice. It's nice to have it involved. Remember when I said order of the penis?

Yeah. And I think I set that up decently well. Like they're like measuring each other's dicks. Their names are Terry. Like Terry Potter and the Order of the Penis. Yeah. So that one kind of worked. You thought so?

Yeah. Was it better or worse than a little blouse on the Terry? A little blouse on the Terry. What about Santa Terry, dude? You guys didn't even riff on that. Maybe one of her brothers is a fucking Santa. You guys skipped the riff on that. Maybe one of her brothers is fucking Santa. You guys skipped the riff on the sanitary.

You skipped the riff on the sanitary. Yeah, I guess we forgot. Now, I did like the silent P, Terry. Because like pterodactyl. I think we could have like, yeah. What? We could have what? I think you guys could have pulled your weight. What's a play of dactyl, Kyle? could have played your way i think outside of the box

dactyl i'm thinking tear p with a terror and remember when i said terry shivo vegetable that vegetarian yeah terry so you're just rehashing your jokes let's see how good you do it l you got your pants shit in someone shit your pants and your bass see. How good you doing with that? L, you got your pants shit in. Someone shit your pants. And your bass instructor was younger than you and molested you. L, you're addicted to Kratom. Yeah. Oh, man.

L, you have a communal shower. But we all love Waterbird. You like the product? You like the product? Yeah. You like the product a lot? I'm looking for the ad right now. So Kyle, why don't you riff on the product

from your heart? This is the Austin based company. Okay. We talked about the, like the Matt and Kim thing. Yeah. Oh, it was me.

Kim was me. Matt was you. Jesus Christ. Austin based ranch water. It's not like ranch dressing. Not at all. Not at all. It's not like ranch dressing. Not at all. Not at all. It's like a country ranch.

A sprawling ranch is what they're referring to. Like a one bedroom home. Yeah. It's made out of premium Blanco tequila. You can find these canned cocktails in a grocery store or convenience store or a liquor store near you. That's all I had to pull up the ad for. Oh, yeah.

It is a good fucking product you that's all i had to pull up the ad for oh yeah it is a good fucking product it's very good when it comes to products yeah um anything else you want to add today kyle owen what else do we got no i think this will be the last show in studio for a little bit damn yeah fuck don't fret good thing we took full advantage. That went out. Keep calm and keep calm and shy-vo. You've been on fire lately. Keep calm and shy-vo on. I know. Keep calm and shy-vo.

What about Hawaii shy-vo? Thank you. Hawaii shy-vo. Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Terry Crews. Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Okay. Terry Crews. Yes. Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Oh, you're still trying to bring this back to Terry?

Yeah, sanitary. They have so many Terrys. In their family alone, they could have a pickup game of baseball. Nine versus nine. Brooklyn Nine-Nine. And it'd be like a dick measuring contest. It'd be a dick measuring contest. Harry Potter.

Goblet of the Fire. Maybe that's a pussy um chamber of secrets ebony's hag ebony's real name is actually hagrid next time you see her be sure to call her oh yeah we forgot about that.

Ebony's real name is Hagrid. Hagrid, Ebony. Get in here. Oh shit. oh shit terry bonds worked on he worked on wall street what terry if you're doing a-r-r-Y. We could do anything. Anything. Anything? Terry David.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Terry Fitzgerald. Oh, shit. You could do anything. Uh-huh. Well, now we're running. We caught our second high. Our third high. Jesus Christ.

We're done on Terry. We're done on Terry. We're done with the show. Fuck. You want to get one more? Yeah. Terry Bradshaw. Okay. That's just the name terry bradshaw there's so many terry's in her family one of them is terry bradshaw

of pittsburgh steelers fame one of them is just terry and terry is like uh can be man and woman, and she's still got Hagrid. Yeah. What a raw deal. That was his wife. Walls are closing in. Yeah. All right, that's all.

Yeah. what I'm going to say. No, you're just going to say, like, no, that's a new untold story. Hey, is that story old or told? Fuck no, baby! That's a new untold story. A new untold story. It's a fresh, big, untold story. A new untold story. I knew I told you.