A New Untold Story - A New Untold Story: Ep. 278 - LIVE FROM HOLLYWOOD... r/Rickets

Episode Date: February 11, 2022

|| A New Untold Story: Ep. 278 - LIVE FROM HOLLYWOOD... r/Rickets || Nick and KB recap their weeks in LA & share a few belly laughs || Full episodes also available on Apple/Spotify || Thanks for watching/listening! #anusYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, A New Untold Story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad-free on Amazon Music. It's a fresh, big, untold story. A new, untold story. Are you serious? Are you serious? Are you serious? No, no, we're keeping this all in. Because he just said, alright, let's go for it. We had like two hours.

I got shit to look at. While you talk. You got puns in your notes. Fuck you. What am I supposed to do when you're talking? Engage? Yeah, you should engage. And when there's a back and forth and I feel like there's a good one, sometimes you stop talking.

This is not. I don't want to look like an alcoholic. One's enough. Damn it. Welcome back to a new untold story. Episode 258. Yeah? 259? 258, boys. 274ld story. Episode 258. Yeah? 259?

274. This is live from pre-recorded from Los Angeles. The city of motherfucking angels, man. You enjoying it? Not like what we're doing. You've taken on an entirely different persona. I feel like I don't even want to beat around the bush.

Yeah, no. I've been doing that all. I'm glad you noticed. I've been doing that for like a couple months now. So you were the glasses guy. I did that for a little bit. But now you're something completely different. You're a monster.

I am a monster. You, uh, I don't even know where to begin. That's a lot has happened. You're tan as fuck. For those of you watching on YouTube, you can see it. I think you like it. Yes. All of my challenges I loved.

And to be honest, we've talked about this on the Yak a little bit. How much money have you spent on this trip? I can't be honest. Why? Because it'll make you sick? Yes. You know how much I spent on this trip? How much? Probably like $ Because it'll make you sick? Yes. You know how much I spent on this trip? How much?

Probably like $40. Yeah, you don't spend. But I'm going to a Pokemon card shop Saturday. There you go. I've been dying to go. And I probably, not kidding. See, this is where you zone out, man. I need my phone to look at while you talk about Pokemon.

No, this is the perfect time for me to talk about it. Oh my God. I've been wanting to go to this shop for a long time. Yeah. And I'm finally going. I might drop a fucking rack. Where is it? Inglewood?

Thousand Oaks? Simi Valley? Might drop a rack. Rancho Cucamonga? Are you trying to overpower your hobby? Ventura? On over mine? Yeah.

Yeah. Naming off suburban cities. Yeah yeah um no and i'm going up you're gonna drop a rack i'm gonna drop a rack i know i'm gonna drop a rack you don't even fucking how what do you mean what rack what rack i know you gotta you're exactly right because i look you have to locate and obtain a rack i know i know i ask myself what rack when I'm looking at all my racks. I look at my back and I'm like, which one? Which one are you in? They're just like, no, no, no. Please.

You got to find. No, no, they want to be spent. No, the first one's the hardest, brother. What are you talking about? The first rack. I drop racks all the time. I've never even seen you like misplace a rack. No.

Drop. Yes. You never even fumbled a rack. Are you kidding me? Are you going to start making... You have the tightest grip on whatever rack you might have. Are we about to have a rack

roast beef? Uh-huh. Fly. That was good. Yeah, but I'm going to spend a lot of money on Pokemon cards. I'm doing no wordplay today. You're out on the wordplay? We've been going hard all week. Yeah, I'm exhausted. I am exhausted.

These live shows are taking every ounce of everything I have in my brain out of me. So you did black out for one show. I blacked out. Don't know what I said. I legitimately blacked out. So you said some really problematic shit right before. What do you mean right before the show? And then you had to go throw up.

You're trying to gaslight me. So I think you vomited out all your slurs i did not say any slurs i did not say any slurs let's just say that you were not a fan of uh a country no i did i did no geographic roasts i was it was about the people in that place jewish people no no no no I don't know what I, I can't think of what I. It doesn't matter, but you showed up to the show Blackout Drunk

and you've had a very weird relationship. You're not a fan of the live shows. Hate them. How do you guys not? No, I appreciate them. I'm glad we're doing them,

but in the moment, when I'm, if I'm not blacked out, then I, I shut down mentally. And it it's it's hard because it is so hard to uh do that and then you like glance into the crowd and you see like a sea of apathetic faces yes the first day was completely destroys me so i went off on the crowd yeah monday was very demoralizing and i was like yeah it really a man. Because that was a very, there's BFF's central podcast, central crowd.

So it was like people who are fans of TikTok teens. And they couldn't give less of a fuck about us. Right. And so. So when you're like talking, telling like jokes and like, it is completely quiet. People aren't even, they like, it would be better if they were like enjoying a meal and like drinking, but they were on empty tables looking down. Yeah, they didn't want to make eye contact with us.

It was the worst feeling. Yeah. We were all miserable. And day two got a little bit better. Day three is when you blacked out, correct? Day two was I blacked out and went off on the crowd. And I think you were happy to. Oh, no.

When we did mystery balls for our punishments, and it was revealed to me at 9 a.m. TJ texted me. He said, hey, your mystery ball is to black out before the show. I was at Planet Fitness. I did a set of dips, like 40 or low 40s. Do you think these details help the story? I remember I just finished repping out 80-pound dumbbells on the incline bench. I think I did either 10 or 12 so is

this like foreshadowing does this come yes because i just finished that and i get the text so like you have to black out so now i'm like in my head did you finish your workout i'm like i have to like i don't know how it's hard for me to black out because i'm such a picky drinker and i have a high tolerance you're not a drinker you either drink a beer that's like 58 alcohol that's called like skull fucker juice skull fucker juice which isn't it is the name it's it's 12 but i can only drink three of those like if your beers you should be embarrassed saying them at the bars that you go to but yeah like. Like, oh, do you have this like monkey ass? Like monkey ass is fine. Like I'll go to a bar and I'll get like a Bud Light.

And I enjoy it. And then you'll go up and you ask for like a Blood Fart 780. Yeah, the Blood Fart 780. But it's so hard for me to black out. And I'll have one Bud Light. Okay, yeah. And you'll have like three Blood Farts. Three Blood Farts.

But that doesn't black me out so my problem is i can't drink hard liquor okay and i can't drink light beer so i can only drink things that are very hard to consume in mass okay so black so at 9 a.m i was like i have to get home and start blacking out if i want to achieve this and granted i didn't have to no one would have checked me and it's hard you can't measure a blackout you can't like test it but i think you kind of want i know i 100 wanted to after the first day i went in like maybe a little bit buzzed and i was every it was the longest two hours of my life yes so i did black out i uh and we've we've had love hate relationships with the crowd mine's more like why do you do this why are you why are you

here to watch us this is like a podcast where we we don't plan for it yeah um we're we just ramble about inside jokes that you like even the people who listen to us on a regular basis don't know yeah our inside jokes are so inside that it's only inside to us that's really it we'll just ran about that for 10 minutes and I'm looking in the crowd and I'm like, god damn it. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. But they were giving us nothing. And here's the thing.

You can say your thing. Here's the thing with me at the live shows. I don't think we deserve it. Imposter syndrome. And here's the thing that pisses me off the most. Yes, I drove two and a half hours here to see you. Why? I go off in the crowd like, this crowd sucks.

They're giving us nothing. They're not engaging. They're being dead silent. You told them to fuck themselves. Fuck themselves. And then afterwards, they come up and they're like the nicest humans in the world. They're like, hey man, I love you. I drove three hours. Yes. And I'm like, oh, fuck. Like, I really love you, man. Like, you've helped me. And then like,

sometimes they're like shaking. I'm like, dude, you man like you've helped me like and then like like sometimes like they're like shaking i'm like dude like you're so much cooler than cool yes i got much cool i got like 12 numbers from dudes this week i'm that wasn't your flex but it kind of was but it kind of was yeah that's a flex dude because i have no numbers from dudes. Yeah, they come up, we shoot the shit, chop it up. And I'm like, yeah, you drove however many hours or even minutes to see us live. I'm going to fucking get your number and we're going to like maybe chill.

But I think this way, if I like, here's my number, let's like grab a drink. They're going to like me less. I don't care about that. Right. But you have this weird relationship. You got 15 numbers from dudes. We're staying in this hotel. One girl.

But that's not here or there, nor there. It might be there. Where's there? It might be there. You're going to go there? Go on. 15 and 1. That's not a bad ratio.

That's a better ratio than our podcast audience. It actually is. 15 to one. So that was shocking. I don't know what she knows you from. She doesn't. Okay. She was just attracted to you like your body. I don't think that either. I think she just felt bad. A dude came up to you, right? Yes. Let's get him. Let's get

him. Why do you keep standing up? What is this? This dude comes up to me. I'm soaking wet in Osiris shoes with the big tongs. The giant tongs. He comes up to me and he was like, hey, man, what's your shoe size? And I'm like, nine.

Or whatever my shoe size is. Could have been bigger. Hypothetically, I said nine. And he was like. Wait a minute. Your shoes aren't nine, though, are they? I'm a nine and he was like wait a minute your shoes aren't nine though are they i'm a nine yeah i'm a wide nine what's that mean that means like sometimes i struggle to fit into a nine because i'm so girthy okay in the foot sure he's so i he

i said nine he said i'll be right back don't move did you move i may have like i was like shaking i was like holy shit um comes back what did this dude look like he looked rich he was like mid-30s he's a dentist um what the fuck and he gave me uh this box of air maxes did he but like and i was like holy shit man thank you so much my guy i appreciate you you. This is huge. Thanks for coming out. Where are you from? And he was like, man, I'm sorry. Don't have time to chat.

Gotta run. I don't think he liked me. I think he saw that I was wearing like whack shoes. You're going to be like on a viral TikTok. Also, like, what if I said size like 11? Yeah. Does he have like a if I said size 11? Yeah. Does he have a van filled with shoes? Yeah.

Is this a thing? I think he was gone. Is this an LA thing? He had no desire to talk to me afterwards. He just gave me the shoes, and he was like, I can't. I would love to say it in chat, but I got to run. See you, boss. I think you're about to be on a viral video. It was the most condescending gift I've ever gotten.

He didn't know you. He saw you, and he was just like, this dude needs my help. Needs new kicks. Yeah. I thought the Osiris's were crispy. I thought they were too. I swore they were crispy. They are crispy.

The Oreos? What do you mean by that? Are they called the Oreos? I think they're just black and white. I think they're just black and white. Okay, but you call them the Oreos? The Oreos. You want me to tell you about Hydrox?

What? It predates the Oreo? The generic. No, I don't want you to where's my phone no you're boring me to death no no i'd rather you talk about like the deal to invent it like the snorlax who invented the snorlax i'll tell you the first american pokemon designer was the guy that did the ice cream cone pokemon amer Americans stay losing when it's designed in Pokemon. I'm checking the weather app right now. That's how bored I am.

You're not planning on going outside for another 16 hours. Checking my email and my weather app. I want to talk about another fan interaction you had. Okay. It was a dude that came up to me. Here's what people think of us separately. Same kid. He came up to me. Here's what people think of us separately. Same kid. He came up to me.

He dapped me up. He was like, yo. He just had his Pokemon Go open. He was like, let's swap Shinies. I was like, for sure, for sure. And I sent him over. He didn't say, let's swap Shinies. And you didn't say, for sure, for sure.

No, he was like really shaky. And I was as well. It was not that clean of an interaction. No, it wasn't. Even though Shinies isn't clean. That's that's not cool slang shinies isn't slang shinies is a rare pokemon like one in 2500 holographic kind of they have a different color way okay so i said let's swap shinies and you said for sure for sure i said i'm a spheal a spheal yes it's a sphere spheal shiny what are you looking at now um you're googling a spheal yes it's a sphere feel shiny what are you looking at now um you're googling a spheal

you're kind of interested no i'm on seamless looking for restaurants and um and he sent no this irvine and uh he sent me doesn't matter i want to make people jealous match cart that's the fish um so and then he immediately went to you and he offered you lean the lean kid? yes and so what did you do? I said

yes and I gave him my number and then not to throw him under the bus this is more throwing me under the bus he sends me links to Apple music Not to throw him under the bus. I mean, this is more throwing me under the bus. He likes it. He sends me like links to Apple music songs, Yeet, Love and Drugs, and Free Hot Sauce. And he was like, this is another low key artist.

I'll bring the juice if you want some. I text it back. Big bet. Yeah, I think I'm down. What time are you sending this? Do you want to go to the- Wait, what time? Read the time. This is when I was blacked out. Read the time.

7.25pm. He said, do you want to go to the trap in South Central? This is a very skinny white boy. Young, too. I don't think he was 18. I had not a chance. I'm just texting him. Do you want to go to the trap in South Central? What does that mean?

I'm texting a 17-year-old kid about getting lean and hanging out in South Central. What does that mean? I'm texting a 17 year old kid about getting lean and like hanging out in the trap. But this is the same kid. I think he just like found two things that he thinks we'd like. But he also sent me a shiny. What is South Central? Like a hood? That's Calpton. He said, do you want to go to

the trap in South Central? To pick up lean? It's a real guy with only real shit. Up to you if you want to go that route. What'd she say? And I said, the biggest of bets. I said, fuck it, fuck it. And he sends me a picture of his

lean and cup and his whatever medicine that is. Codeine? Props. And then he sends a picture of a stuffed squirtle. That was probably for me. And it was like, if you're next to Nick, ask if he'd want this This dude's just us combined dude And that is a sick ass squirtle That I woke up hungover as fuck

And I was like never did lean So not sure where my tolerance is And he like told me gave me the whole run down He said don't drink Like liquor Weed can be a little much since it's a psychoactive With lean you pour He gave me the whole rundown. He said, don't drink like liquor. Weed can be a little much since it's a psychoactive. With lean, you pour usually one or two lines in a medicine bottle in a good soda. So as you're sipping, you can just tell when you want to stop.

What did you say? First time would obviously be one. But this kid's like super nervous and shaky when he comes up and talks to us. But he's inviting me to the trap in South Central. He's he's a 17 year old boy. Yes. And I was like, yeah, let's do lean. Today's episode is brought to you by Cuts Clothing.

The best. There's a lot on our minds right now. We've been busy. The last thing we want to do is figuring out what we want to wear. Yeah. And so Cuts makes that easy to perfect is figuring out what we want to wear. Yeah. And so Cuts makes that easy. They perfect the art of science of men's shirts.

So you can throw one on and look great without ever thinking twice. Cuts, they've revolutionized the single outdated T-shirt. It's not traditional anymore. It's modern. It's tech. You could drop one off the Empire State Building and it would kill a man. That's right. If it hit them in the head, but it would not break.

No, it wouldn't break. It would break their skull and remain intact. It would have to hit them in the right spot. It's not a guaranteed death. But it would change the course of their life forever. That is without a doubt. They also have long-sleeve Henleys, Kyle. So they have short-sleeved crewnecks. They've got it all. The material is amazing.

I have some of the t-shirts that have like the saddle stitch on the side. Fly. Fly and comfy. It's easy. They are steezy. They are steezy. Before we move on to anything else, I want to bring up a few more fan interactions. This is making us sound like we have a bunch of fans. We don't. These guys, they just heard of us via Big Cat and just.

They're not our fans. They're not fans. They just think we're attainable as friends. That's right. And like we could get're attainable as friends. That's right. I don't know. That's right. We are in a hotel right now. I had a couple black dudes.

What do you mean by that? Interactions. Did you just have interactions with black dudes? The baby boy had one. I had two and you had any. No, you didn't. No, I didn't. No, I didn't. That was by choice.

But no. You had someone with albinism. I did. Not a black guy. He was a white guy with albinism. Maybe negative one for you? I had two. That dude fucked with me too. I'm stacking. You're stacking. My portfolio. Diverse. Two, one, zero. You're stacking dubs. Try me too. I'm stacking. You're stacking. My portfolio. Diverse.

Two, one, zero. You're stacking dubs. Try me. Maybe get one tomorrow. One more day. Sure, sure, sure. For sure, for sure. For sure, for sure, for sure.

For sure, for sure. The biggest bits. You've been calling everybody baby boy too. Just Owen. The bartender downstairs when you're blacked out. I was blacked out. When I'm blacked out, everyone gets the baby. Listen, listen, listen, baby boy.

I'm going to tip you like a Qatari oil baron. That's the only clip I saw. Here's the thing. If you were to tip him like he were a Qatari oil baron, you wouldn't really give him that much. I was implying that I'm going to tip you like I'm in a Qatari oil baron. Yeah. It didn't come off that way.

I was blacked out. You were. You got thrown out of our hotel bar. My semantics get all skewy. This hotel. I did not get thrown out. Did I? Yes.

I don't remember a single thing. Yeah, they made you leave. I just saw like people like comment and like, yeah, like I was giving off big incel energy. Really? In what way? First off, people have been shut the fuck up. Don't disrespect me on Twitter.

And I'm not saying that mean. It's like, what is your goal when you do that? Yeah. When you just insult me on Twitter. Yeah. Like, what are you doing? Yeah. And you're watching a very niche production of a live show. So you're very you probably watch every single one.

What is motivating you to talk shit on me online? I have the thinnest skin, which is like, why is that like a negative thing? To be sensitive? To be sensitive? To have thin skin If someone's just berating you And disrespecting you In the most inhumane manner They're going in knowing that you're not going to say anything back

Why would I not get pissed? You're not defeating me You only get pissed if you think it's true No For example We had Marlon Humphrey on the show really really good cornerback we've he fought with me he fought with me heavy what did he dm you afterwards or just me no he tweeted it and he tweeted my tweet with him okay okay and so like dm me i found my my face has

found its way over to black twitter somewhere i've narrowed. How? Marlon Humphrey retweeted up me asking, showing him fake tweets. And, uh. Yeah, that was good. And so. The way it is, he was a good sport. Orlando hated you. He hated me big time. Didn't mind me.

He hated me big time. It was cool with that one. Sure. Okay. Sure, sure, sure. Um. For sure. Three different black Twitter accounts.

Probably white teens with. They usually are. Yes. Uh. They all said. Digital blackface. They keep on calling me, oh, Ether, yes. They all said I, digital blackface. They keep on calling me, oh, ethernet legs. Like I have ethernet cables for legs. Three different people. They are just so much

funnier than us. Yeah, that's right. And it hasn't affected me. What do you mean? My legs have been getting roasted. Yeah, your legs. Since the beginning of time. But that's funny. That's a joke. People are just like, people are just DMing me. That's a physical thing about me that I can't really control. Can you grow ankle size?

That's not going to be a deficit in your life ever. Why? No one gives a fuck about skinny legs. Are you kidding me? Girls love skinny leg guys. You're not like this. They said I look like I have rickets. Rickets, Kyle. I don't know what that means, but it sounds like a disease.

It makes it sound like you're like atrophy going on. It almost sounds like, yeah, like you're withering to death. You do look like that, but it's not like they're saying if my role is, if it's funny, then you're good. Okay. If you're just tell if you're not even attempting a joke and just want to bring me down and I'm coming back.

And have you been? Yeah. And it's, it's, I never win. Do you want to read some? I never win. What happens? So you see a mean public tweet and you've been DMing the person? It's like a burner account with no avatar, zero followers.

Do they respond to you? Yes. And you can tell like they're like laughing at their phone. Like, look how mad he's getting. But I'm so angry. I'm so angry all the time. Why? In 2020, I didn't experience the emotion anger.

When did you start working at Barstool? I remember even like consciously like realizing I don't get angry ever. I don't. I was just like a fat alcoholic and I was never angry. And what are you now? I'm angry now.

I started lifting and maybe that's it are you taking any start like like after like an 80 pound rep on dumbbells incline press sure yeah yeah if i rep out like 10 to 12 easily not till not to failure um then yeah i think after that like that like testosterone adrenaline shouldn't that like calm you isn't that like people do that for like mental health exercise i feel better dude but i'm also getting angry do you like i think it's correlated with happiness i'm happier but i'm like anger is something that depressed people don't feel they're just apathetic and they feel nothing i don't know if that's true i think it is i think anger is a sign of happiness. Don't laugh at me like that.

You sound fucking stupid. No, no, go ahead. Give me an example of a DM you've sent somebody because this is all new to me. Okay. Bio, please. Yes. Do you want me to pick you up a Pokemon card? No.

Do you want me to grab anything at the card shop Saturday? I should be all set. All right, I'm looking at the health app now. Seeing how many steps I got. Probably a lot because we played basketball today and that was the most humiliating shit ever. I don't even bring it up. And I was in the top half of players.

You may have been. Well, I have an excuse. Wrestlers are like stereotypically terrible at basketball. It was the same as conflicting seasons. It's insane that wrestlers... Yeah, we are the most unathletic people at everything else. Right. You are the most one-sport person.

We are, yeah. You can't do anything else. I'll admit it. I'll admit it. You can't do anything else. But I can rep out like 80s on Incline, which is something. It's got to count for something, right? Yeah, it does.

It really does. All right. So this guy, he just texted me. What? You are such a F slur. He DM'd you that? Yeah. And it's like, you get that in your head.

You're like, you can let that go. Do you feel like this is going to open the floodgates for more of that? That's fine. I know you're kidding. I know you're a fanboy. Yeah, that's right. You're like, you just let you can let that go. This is going to open the floodgates for more of that. That's fine. I know you're kidding. I know you're a fanboy. Yeah, that's right. You know, and I said, go DM some hoes. I was drunk.

God, is this the night you blacked out? Yeah. I said, go DM. Oh, this is I said, go DM some hoes. And then I said, but anyway, fuck off. You're a gigantic loser. This is a guy with no avatar. And he said, at least I'm not a talentless.

I don't know. He said, I am DMing a hoe. You. Then I said, yeah. Oh my God. He bodied me. You put that on a T for him. That was the easiest comeback ever.

And he obliterated you, dude. He's probably just cracking up at his phone screen. He probably doesn't even hate me. He's probably like, I want to like, just mess with this kid. He said, I am DMing hoes, you. Just them. Oh, no. And he said, at least I said, I called him a gigantic

loser. Clearly angry. Yeah, you're mad. I was like, gonna punch something. I was like fantasizing about beating him in a fist fight. I'm 20. I'm 30 years old. You don't know what this dude looks like. What's his burner name? It could be a girl. It could be a child. It could be a kid.

A child, yeah. It could be an elderly person. And I'm picturing like the same like kind of like vaguely Middle Eastern, like chub-eared 5, 10 guy. Yeah, street wear. Six foot maybe. Wait, wait. Wait, Kyle. Six foot?

So is it above my head so for those listening kyle has put his hand very ever so slightly above his head and said about six feet yeah wait do that do that one more time he was about i'm picturing a guy who's about six foot six one six i don't know maybe he's a very tall man. He's like 6'5". God. I was so angry. I wasn't even on Kratom. Maybe why. Maybe I was. That's why you were angry.

At least I'm not a talent. He said, at least I'm not a talentless, awkward twink. Like, that's a shot. Yeah. That's after I, I guess, stepped off the live show. The Blackout live show. No, this was actually the night before. So I wasn't blacked out. Oh, you were just mad. I was mad. Yeah. And then he said, I'mout live show. No, this was actually the night before. So I wasn't blacked out.

Oh, you were just mad. Yeah. And then he said, I'm going to be, oh, this is the day after he said, I'm going to be there tonight. I'm going to embarrass you. So he's obviously in retrospect and like messing with me. He's not going to be there. He's just trying to, this dude is laughing.

Yeah. And then I'm like, yeah. So I'm like, I'm so angry. I'm stupid. I said, you will do nothing and nobody will regard your existence. You are nothing. Which is embarrassing. This is embarrassing.

Then he said, keep an eye out, pussy. Clearly messing with me. And I said, just wrapped 80 pound dumbbells on an incline bench for sets of 10. You told that to me like four times. Then he got kind of like real. And then he said, doubt it. And then I said, what are you putting up, fat bitch? And he said, 305 pound bench without a pair of fake glasses like a douchebag.

I said, not bad. Any combat experience? Oh, Kyle, you're losing. He said, yeah, fucking little guys like yourself. And I said, you'd be less pathetic if you were an actual pedophile. He said, what I strive for and he just said for your information still a F slur

and I said you humiliating bitch I'm gonna do pull ups four sets of 20 plus and dips four sets of 30 plus tomorrow morning this is the next day when I was blacking out tomorrow morning and you're gonna have an emotional reaction to something Rico Bosco does online so that's what I checked his tweet tweets. Okay. Then he said, sounds like a plan going to

need a lot more than that though. Women love five, five, one 40 pound twinks just then I stopped. Then today he just said, just when I thought you couldn't be a bigger douchebag, you go and prove me wrong. So that was one of them them i was getting into it with a lot of blacked out me and what's your record against these guys oh and eight it's impossible to beat them and they know that is this fun i'm arguing with faceless anonymous people yeah is this fun for you no i'm just like getting pissed then i gotta go fucking stay on it like try to make jokes on stage while like the crowd of people like couldn't care less couldn't care less yeah but eventually you found some people that you did jive with a little bit because we're staying in this hotel it's

supposedly all barstool employees every floor of it where security but these two guys just got a room directly next to mine. Coincidentally, they just Googled hotels near our venue. Do you believe that? Yeah, they were cool guys. Yeah. They were in my room, okay? And it seems.

Here's what's happening. It's the majority of everybody's last night that here, like last night. We're having a great kumbaya sesh out by the pool, hanging out. We were at Del Taco. The energy was terrible the energy was i've never you guys i bonded with people i've never spoken to were being so fucking lame so i invite the two cool dudes you never came out i called you to come out you guys were we came out eventually and you guys were just lying down like whispering to each other in monotone voices we were like oh kyle must there was no playlist and then the two guys Not a single tune. The two guys that were so fucked up at the show

walk out of their room and directly into yours. I gave them my key. You gave them your key, Kyle. We were fucking chilling. But I tried to call you and you didn't pick up. Owen, were you ever in that room with us? The entire time. Yeah. The boy, the baby boy was in there

with us. And he could confirm there was no no funny shit going on was that what we were just we were just how late were you guys i respected them for making the trip so we i learned their life story like 40 minutes away that's i feel like that's respectable that's hotel worthy and they paid for that hotel yes that hotel is $600 a night. Yes, that's why. They went through that process just to see us live. So I'm going to invite you to my room and we are going to bond. That's the difference between me and you. And you got both their numbers? Yes.

And are you texting them? Kevin and Tim, we're texting. We've been texting. About what? We had a great night together. And then who else have you given your number to? Well, the lean kid Has he texted you anymore today?

Yeah, we've been texting too The most embarrassing thing I was like trying to be cool with this kid I wanted to impress him by saying You're afraid to do lean I was drunk and being like, yeah, I'm all about lean Let's do it, let's do it, double cup, double cup Type shit, type shit, big bag, big bag

I didn't say big bag You did say big bag? I did not say big bag and I didn't say big bag. You did say big bag? I did not say big bag, and I never requested a big bag. Did you say big bag to anybody? No. Okay. But are you texting? Are you having any more conversations with people you met in the past two days?

Yes. I don't think that's weird. I mean, I wouldn't want to give my number out. Why? I don't know. It's so easy to ignore people if worse comes to worst that's worse than just not getting their number you think i say dm me and i'll follow you on instagram dude no i feel like we're on the same level we definitely as humans like me and these

people so i'm like yeah like let's i just don't like texting i respect people who like me. Say your phone number right now. I leaked it. I leaked mine too. I accidentally leaked mine. Mine's leaked as well. I loved the flooding of messages I got. Say your phone number. 304. Don't do it.

I shouldn't. No, that's dumb. I shouldn't. Uh-uh. But I think you were starting to say mine. I don't know. You think I know yours? Yeah, I think you do. to say mine I don't know you think I know yours yeah I think you do I fucking low-key love me when you blacked out you said you didn't fuck with me drunk words yeah what was I saying I don't remember anything I said you fuck with me so heavy no you were you weren't bad you're kind of cool You were kind of fly. You looked fly. I did.

I've been dressing. So you went to get a spray tan. The girl that works at the spray tan place? Did I say something about her when I was blacked out? Yes. We barely talked. We had like the most minimal of small talk sessions. I don't know what I said about her.

You said that she was an aspiring actress? She never told me that. She said she was a Barstool fan. She never told me that. She was an aspiring actress? She never told me that. She said she was a Barstool fan. She never told me that. She knew who you were? She never told me that. She knew what Barstool was, didn't know who I was. There was a lot of backwards things. Inverse.

Then you only had Apple Pay, which they couldn't take, but you were already covered in bronze. So what you had to do was Venmo her. That's also not true. I had to Venmo the cash bronze. So what you had to do was Venmo her. In that case, that's also not true. I had to Venmo the cashier.

Well, you said you got her number. I did. And so attached to the Venmo, uh, or the Apple pay, you said, hi.

And you were like, yeah, so I like, I'll be back to see her tomorrow. And you said she's not hot, but she's obtainable. No, I said that it was, she was, she was pretty hot, but she's obtainable. Oh, no, I said that?

She was pretty hot and unattainable. You said that there's nothing more you're into than an obtainable woman. I'm so good at lying that I subconsciously just lie to the fullest extent. Like I say the polar opposite of what happened. Yeah? Without even thinking. That's pretty impressive. It's a master. That's pretty impressive. That's pretty impressive.

Are you hungry? We got HelloFresh on the way. You finally guessed it. Now we have some boxes in our little mini fridges in there. What's in your fridge? What? HelloFresh, the company that delivers

pre-portioned ingredients to your door, including farm-fresh produce that arrives within a week. The sweet potato curry box. Yeah, the sweet potato curry box is very, very good. For sure, for sure. I love that it's 72% cheaper. And I love that you can go to HelloFresh.com. And don't be like, why wouldn't they just make it 75% cheaper?

To use code STORY16 for up to 16 free meals. cheaper it's that's not that you use code story one six for up to 16 free meals i also believe i forgot the cuts clothing promo code but you guys know it's anus for 15 off so go to cuts go get hello fresh and uh we lost felix gray uh we is a weird word and i can currently stop wearing them. So, yeah. That's funny. They lost you. Yeah. They lost you.

What else has been going on up here? What the fuck else? Anything of note? What have you been doing? What have I been doing? I've been chilling. Oh, you've been wearing a LeBron Lakers. I smell fucking awful. They're not fans.

Because these people hate us yes they're just like vigorously checking in on us to make sure like we're miserable and doing all of our punishments so we have challenges that we had to do and they are just checking in oh fuck i have a water right here yeah but oh yeah they're gonna like destroy they saw you holding a cup for a commercial that we filmed ad. I've been wearing the same thing every day. And they were like, I smell like firing. I've been embarrassing myself asking for s'mores. And I've been trying to keep up drinking in the bathroom, which has consequently ruined my time here.

That is the entire week. Who decided on that? You? After the first round of trivia, I went into the bathroom at the bar and Frank was blowing it up. Blowing it up. He's just taking a shit. And I was drinking an OJ Sour. It's been horrible. And I've been good about it.

People are getting mad at you on Twitter. They're like, this shit is ruining my experience as a viewer. I've ruined my trip here. This free flight in a nice hotel. For nothing. Just for people to do it worse. And I've ruined my trip because. This free flight in a nice hotel. For nothing. Just for people to do it worse. And I've ruined my trip because people are driving by beeping at me, calling me again. They must have confused me for you.

Gay slur. And then like this girl pulled over yesterday. She was like, hey, you were on Barstool yesterday and drove away. And I looked. I wasn't. I think that was like a jab. What do you mean? She didn't know I worked on barstool she thinks like

I was trying to get on barstool by wearing that and like jokes on her not really but yeah and uh yeah I've been smelling like shit we've been getting fucking wet every day and then like the one time I have a coffee cup

for uh an ad they wanted us to like be breakfast, like sitting there. Hold this. And now I have this water here because my throat has been hurt because Frank has a very, very bad cold. He's very ill right now. He sneezed directly into his microphone. He's a tough son of a bitch because he's still doing everything he normally does. Yes.

But he's very sick. He's right into his microphone at the because he's still doing everything he normally does. Yes. But he's very sick. He's getting everyone else sick. He's right to his microphone at the dozen. And he looked up at me and I called a timeout and everybody thought I was cheating. Frank had snots from the top of his forehead to like right here. It was somehow. He looked like the guy from Phantom of the Opera. It transcended how snot drips because it was somehow above his nose.

It was the entire western hemisphere of his face was snot. It was the northwest quadrant. It was the entire western hemisphere of his face. It was snot. It was the northwest quadrant. It was. How did he get up there? There was no snot below his nostril. His face has no gravity, so it just drips upwards. Frank's face has no gravity.

It's something not many people know. Nothing against him, but yeah, it's kind of a cool quirk. Yeah, it is. This is mid-game. This a mid-game and you see i call it time i'm like jeff like jeff like you want to like get him to clean this up i don't want to embarrass him and uh he was like no you just got to tell him i was like frank you're covered in snot your entire face is snot i don't know if you want to do anything about that or

i was like now listen to my voice right now like i'm sick and now i have to have this and now people are like it's like they're not even fucking trying yeah i like skipped this i couldn't book a spray tanning session and people were like kb doesn't look like he's getting any tanner wasn't he supposed to tan every day like do you there why do you want to look at me so bad and like somebody told me they shit on the Michael Buble star. They shit on the Michael Buble star? Whoa, wait, wait. You have to eat french fries and ketchup off the Michael Buble star. I fully believe that somebody went and actually took a shit there.

100%. They think that, yeah. They want to kill Brandon. Brandon has a very serious migraine issue. They hate him to death. And it's just like, No, he needs to be punished for taking his ankle weights off for when.

He walked to the convenience store across the street after a long day of working and wearing ankle weights for no reason. It's not like... These people, there was like a thread. Do you have a mic? Okay, I'm'm repeating you. Do you have a mic?

No. Okay. I'm just repeating you. The baby boy doesn't have a mic? No. Just repeat what he says. Subtitle. So yeah, it's like, what more do you want? We've ruined our trip.

But like, what difference does it make if he's- And I saw how the boys thought they were getting a free trip to LA. Yeah. Yeah, we did. Yeah, we did. That's so funny. We really did. Yeah.

Someone said that. Yeah, we did. Yes. Uh-huh. Yes. Guilty. Jesus Christ. Oh, man.

Yeah, and it's been driving me crazy. Yeah, we're going crazy. We are losing it. And I'm like, we've been trying to do it. Yeah. But it's just, it's- We're not the irony boys anymore we're like sensitive little

fellows with thin ass skin god damn it we are stop laughing baby boy it's quite obvious that we're sensitive little fellows we are bitches and it's a shame fellows

dude I had a comment I got a DM to me it was like dude your first month at Barstool was legendary every month after has been worse I've had these built up jokes for 28 years and I blew a load on my first month and now I'm just like what works

yeah and now I'm just every artist's first album every comedian posts one of my old tweets yeah everyone's like i missed the old kb yeah i missed the kb before barstool yeah even if i tweeted them while at barstool of course like your tweets would be good if you didn't have this you didn't have the yak you didn't have rediscovered i don't know we're being we're being we're complaining a lot complaining that sucks it does let's just not let just, let's be big fellows. And yeah, it breaks my heart that my heart goes out for like the girls and guys who like

came all the way to see us and didn't get fucked by us. What? Like there's like several girls who drove all the way from wherever, Sacramento. Yeah. Santa Rosa. Okay. like of several girls who drove all the way from wherever sacramento yeah santa rosa okay concord and you think they wanted to fuck us desto you think that you think they're disappointed that they didn't get to fuck my heart goes out to people who came to see us and didn't get fucked by us do you feel no semblance of like empathy toward them? You don't owe anybody a fuck.

If they're coming to see us, it kills me that they didn't get fucked by us. For sure. For sure. For sure. For sure. Big bet. Yeah, you're right. You've swayed me.

Biggest bet. So you want to fuck somebody? You want to fuck somebody tomorrow? No, I'm just going to wake up guilty as fuck. Dude, like some people have been calling us gay More and more And then we had to do like a sponsored commercial They went from like calling us gay

To just being gay themselves And they rebranded That's pretty awesome Here's the thing Here's my conundrum What a group Yeah dude it was like immersion therapy

that converted them to guy they type enough fan fiction about you and I fucking like the fifth one they do they get like oh fuck I wanna fuck but the thing is here's the issue it's an issue you don't have, but I do.

If I were to come out, nobody would fucking believe it. There's been no way. Like they would reject my come out. What? Yes. They would be like, no, not happening. Not possible. What makes you say this?

Just so unbelievable. It would be so unbelievable to the masses. They would just be like, no. They would reject your come out? Yeah. They'd tell me to go back in. But you, on the other hand, I think that's why you're so angry. My come out, let's say hypothetically we tweeted our come outs.

Sure. Mine would go viral. Yours would get like two retweets, 14 likes because people would be like, yeah. This isn't like this. Would you delete your tweet if your come out didn't go viral my come out got seven likes so i deleted it does that mean you're just not gay you're not gay you're not gay i think if your come out doesn't like get at least eight no 18 likes overtly gay men that come out don't need a long paragraph to come out because I read

that I see I just see the shape of the caption okay yeah yeah yeah okay it's just like I just need to capture like you were right you were all right this entire time the gayer you are the less you could

the more vague you can be with your come out if someone I knew was gay tweeted you were alright I would get it like that's his come out post but I would have to like really explicitly do you want to come out social experiment

no you get lampooned for a to come out and do a social experiment social experiment no because it would be funny to see lampoon for a fake come out i what that is cancelable has anybody done that a fake come out yeah yes there's so many people who want to be gay now yeah yeah yeah it is not like not me I'm just us. Okay. Yeah. Not you. Not us. What do we have for time, my boy? My baby boy? 43 minutes.

Jesus, we are fucking, we're beasts. We just spent a day fucking in the sun talking and now we're talking more. Were you impressed by how fast I was on that track? You were pathetic. No, I was faster than you. I think that can be proven. For every one stride I take. And I was still faster. For every one stride I take, it's probably eight of yours.

When you run, in my head, I hear the last two keys of a Xylophone. You run like someone who needs his rickets medicine before the shop. I just found out what rickets was. I don't know what it is. I know it's something that's not. What is rickets? I don't know. That is a bad sounding disease, whatever it is.

R-I-C-K-E-T-S. It's a disgust. It's the weakening of bones and children. What if... Is there a Ricketts podcast? Are there Ricketts influencers? Ricketts podcast. Is there a Ricketts subreddit?

Let's see. The Ricketts subreddit might be fire. The Ricketts subreddit might be fucking awesome. Okay. There is no ricketts podcast um there are ricketts influencers i don't think there's ever been a verified person with ricketts never once no they're not giving that to you no what do you think the most obscure like ailment is that has its own subreddit or podcast? Um,

I don't like, uh, ulcers. Uh, you want to hear the only ever post in our slash Ricketts? Boy, do I subject?

Ouch. Body. Body of text. Dang. Show me, show me. That's true. read his username read his username you slash rickets hurt I promise you we did not we did not look this up beforehand Uh, you slash rickets hurt.

I promise you we did not, we did not look this up beforehand. I need the anus subreddit to blow up the rickets subreddit. Let's do a takeover. It's the only post. Ouch. Ouch. Dang. He's in so much pain, he can't even, like, develop nuanced thoughts. He just had to get that out of there.

To a crowd of nobody. The ouch was because it hurt him typing those letters. He started typing something else, but all he could think of was... Ouch. Ouch. Oh my god.

Oh my god. R slash Ricketts. Oh my god. R slash Ricketts. I'm a Ricketts fanboy now. I love Ricketts. I love the idea that he wasn't doing that with any shred of humor. He was just very in pain.

I just got fucking Ricketts. I don't know what else to do. Where do I go? I don't have anyone to vent with besides this empty subreddit. I'm just gonna type what I feel. I'm gonna say, I'm gonna spill my feelings out. Ouch, dang. That's all he could feel. Oh my god. Holy shit.

Damn. Fucking Ricketts. Ricketts hurts. Honestly, we need to start looking into some disease subreddits. It's awesome. What's like another good one? Ricketts hurts. Honestly, we need to start looking into some disease subreddits. It's awesome. What's another good one? Ricketts might be the funniest, man. I think Ricketts is the funniest.

I still don't know exactly what it is, but... I love that when you search for the Barstool one, the first result is barely legal teens when you start typing B-A-R. That's for you specifically based on your search history. Mine's Bart Simpson memes. When you start to see a, that's for you specifically based on your search history. Nice. Mine's Bart Simpson. Memes. You panicked. Cause you didn't think there would be a Bart Simpson subreddit. So you added memes.

Mine's Bart Simpson memes. Yeah. I went up R slash Bart Simpson memes. And then, you choked under pressure. You could have just said R slash Bart Simpson memes. You choked under pressure. You could have just said R slash Bart Simpson. That's probably a better chance. And then R slash Barney Rubble memes. Yours is barely legal teens first.

Mine's Bart Simpson memes, Barney Rubble memes. Wait, what's your favorite Bart Simpson meme? When you nut and she keeps sucking. What's your favorite Bart Simpson meme? When you nut and she keeps sucking. What's the picture? It's Bart Simpson's just general face with like really dilated pupils and

a missing front tooth. That's a good one. That's what I was told, Todd. He just came so hard. Your favorite subreddit is r slash bart simpson memes their top post of all time that's a thing what is it is bart sim, but the simp is in quotes, and it says, seems kind of beta.

And that's the best they could do. Oh, my God. Is that the only post? You've got to start somewhere. That's the only post? All right, we're going to take over that one, too. All right, boys, I need you to take over r slash rickets and make sure they know that Nick is their king.

Post me in there. Act like it's you. Post a picture of Nick with his skinny legs. I want to go to the Ricketts subreddit Saturday. I want to see like 18 pictures of me. Nick, yeah. Please do that.

And don't give it away of what it is. Just be very serious. I want Ricketts Hurts to reply and be friends with someone he thinks is you yeah no holy shit i'm losing it oh fuck oh what else we got hear me out we promised a two-hour episode here's what i didn't i didn't either i was like fucking i found you now by the pool and I like opened Twitter and saw that and I like got really pissed.

I was like, what the fuck? Are these guys like on Coke? Like, with big desires? Two hours. I wouldn't want to listen to a two hour podcast.

That's a fucking feature film. Good God. No, so you guys have tasks. Thank you for listening. I would be down to do a bonus episode. I will do that.

Yeah, because we're exhausted We've been miserable this entire time And my throat is killing me I'm filled with Frank's germs You're filled with Frank's phlegm Frank phlegm translates to what he was doing Yeah

He was phlegm-ing all over He was being very frank He was very bluntly The omitting phlegm. That's from the throat. He was doing that too. Phlegm all over his neck.

Phlegm all over his neck, snot all over the northwest quadrant of his face. Loved the guy to death. He did have that happen and he knew he didn't care. Yeah. Are we good? Yeah. Oh man. Nah, Frank wasn't that covered in snot it was a lot of snot it was it was more than a lot of snot but it wasn't like it was a in impossible amount of snot um but we kind of overplayed it uh sure yeah we made him look bad but it was we made it look way worse than it

was but it was a just almost animalistic amount of snot i don't even know if animals like could produce snot but it was not human it was like prehistoric or Or like... But it wasn't that bad. Extraterrestrial, yeah. But we made him look way worse. We made him look bad. Alright. Do you want me to reject your reply to what I'm going to say? No, you're just going to say like... No, that's a new untold story.

Hey, is that story old or told? What? No, baby! That's a new untold story's a new untold story. A new untold story. It's a fresh, big untold story. A new untold story. A new untold story.