A New Untold Story - A New Untold Story: Ep. 286 - Off a duck and a bean

Episode Date: April 7, 2022

A New Untold Story: Ep. 286 - Off a duck and a bean -- The boys discuss KB on the roof, Nick off a bean, KB off a duck, KB's raspberry drizzle, & much more -- Full episode also available on Apple/Spotify/etc. -- Yo! Can I Get This On Barstool Episode 2 Also Out Now -- & Another video (nottt a vlog) dropping Friday :-P -- Please check out the HelloFresh website and Gametime app -- Thank you guys #anUSYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, A New Untold Story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad-free on Amazon Music. untold story. A new untold story. It's a fresh, big untold story. A new untold story. A new untold story, episode 286. What are you doing? What? It's the same intro I do every single time. I know. A new untold story, episode 286. What are you doing? What?

It's the same intro I do every single time. I know. It's the same intro that's arbitrary and stupid. You've already gone. You've already gone. You want to be a broadcaster who hosts. Why would I? I've never said I wanted to be a broadcaster. You want to be like, I from blank.

Here we are. You think I want to be that? You know we're not on 286. What is that? What? What's 286? What did you just say?'re not on 286. What is that? What? What's 286? What did you just say? We're on 286. Yeah, you know we're not 286. The last one was 285.

You know that's not true. Right, we started on a number to be goofy. We just kept it. No one gives a fuck. That's just doing nothing but losing us listeners. You think that loses us listeners? You've been so on edge and I even want to.

You've been off a bean. You're a Zanny now. You're a Zanny head now. You're a barb. All right. I don't even know what to call them because I've never done them. Yeah. If you guys notice my voice is like a little like deeper or like I'm like my sounds like my tongue's too big is it

is it called slurring am i slurring right now you're not slurring no but that's what it's called when you um yeah i'm off a fucking bean i get nervous for flights and i ate some beans like a british breakfast and uh you wait the one i have a peach you even you don't don't act like you don't act like you go in that lane because you don't i'm prescribed beans i took some you know you're not you're not you have zero xanax prescription you're afraid of taking off you're not even afraid of flying i am horrified you just you every time i look over you you're timing it to see if you can get to three minutes okay as soon as planes take off i start my stopwatch because I've heard that the first three minutes of plane travel is when most accidents occur.

And so I wait. I start the stopwatch. And when it hits three minutes, that's when I can chill. You're shakingly afraid of flying, but you'll get in the car with me. You'll get in the car with others. You are the worst driver. You'll get in the car with Owen. Owen is the worst driver. You'll get in the car with Owen. Owen is the worst driver.

You'll get in the car with Carter Huffman who Carter Huffman's flipped his car. Like he has to blow and he, he like jail broke his larynx so that he can beat the DUI blow. Yeah. He could have just taken the batteries out of the blow and go, but he jail broke his larynx. But I was afraid that,

you know, we got off the plane and i'm all i have three beans in my system you don't have three beans i do okay like can't you tell i'm chill as fuck i'm acting like a rapper you are actually like little skies yeah i'm actually like little skies and so i was afraid to get uh a drink who from Chambersburg, PA Or Mechanicsburg District 3, PA Yeah, Nico's Don't bring Nico into this They don't have much rap representation

That's a wrestling town That's a wrestling area Is that really wrestling areas? Or is it just an overall town? There's going to be like 27 people who really fuck with what i just said and they're all gonna like let me know in 27 positive feedbacks is better than whatever else we'll get sorry man i'm off the shits right now you are i was afraid to drink

i was afraid to drink after the beans that's the beans that's the only time to drink is when you're on pill Jesus Christ that's how people die and so over time we went out and got like a late lunch time elapsed and I just got a water but then we saw a margarita stand and they had

these novelty cups that are just big ducks and now I'm three beans in a giant margarita deep. And I bought you and me. Don't act like you're off beans and booze when you took the beans at 4 a.m. Eastern time. No, so you don't understand how my body. I take beans so much that like they're always humming my system.

And now I'm on the fucking, I'm off the fucking duck juice. But first of all, these are already super gay. And we got them and I was holding mine coolly. I was holding mine like walking down the street. You were trying to hold it coolly, which makes it so much more gay. No, I was holding it. Because everyone were holding you were trying to hold it coolly which makes it so much more gay no i was holding everyone everyone knew what you were no everybody thought i was holding mine for my girlfriend which i was you were drinking with two hands like that's the guy who's owning the fact that he has a duck novelty drink you were trying to like let it like like you were like the guy eating like the plain lace chips at lunch's the cool guy. I was carrying it and like they were

trying to make people think that you were bought. You bought that for a girl. You were delivered. People saw me and they I'd never let anybody catch me sipping. I want anybody I won't ever let anybody catch me sipping and you were holding yours with two hands glugging. You were glugging. We're in San Antonio.

This is on the Riverwalk. Dude, you were doing five milligram concertos at Sigma Chi, Kansas. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. So we did just come back from Kansas. You were like, I need to pick me up. And you got a concerto. Kansas is so lame that like the top frat guy, like the, I'm trying to think of who's, who's the top, like the, it's like the, the chair.

Is that the top frat guy? In the world? Like a comparison? The Mike Studd of Kansas offered you Concerta 5 milligrams. And you were like, you looked at me and you were like, should I? Dude, I don't know. Do you want to

blink for three seconds? And you thought you were the man in Lawrence, Kansas. That's not true at all. You told everyone you're a bean head and like you're and you got a little drunk i was drooping my eyes down no so lawrence kansas um that one street was fun mass ave but we lost you filming that man on the street um and our cameraman saw you like as far like right at the horizon line like right where you can see you were just far enough to where the naked eye could still see you and you were still interviewing people with a camera nowhere near that honest i won't be shy about silent i had

i was carrying around the barstool camera and the cheat code yeah the microphone yeah and everyone was just like wanted to talk to me and it felt good yeah and we didn't see you until the next morning where were you i want to lie so first off there's no cell service in lawrence kansas but see the thing is everybody else in our group was able to stick together. Yeah, I was doing my thing. I was trying to be the outlier of the video and be the star. Do something that's something better than what you could have done with me and like stick out.

That was my goal. Where'd you end up that night? I ended up with my phone dead at like 3 a.m. And I was on a sidewalk with four girls who were born in the year 2004. And I offered them $40 to get me an Uber home. Because I didn't know how to get back to the hotel. How long did the Uber take? And so these four girls, they were like, yeah, we can try, but we don't have service either.

So they were downloading the Uber app. They were creeped out by me. I wasn't talking to them. I was just like, just $40? Give me the Uber. And they did? They mentioned somewhere along the lines that they were born in 2004. But how did that come up? They said it organically.

I was never like, how old are you? If they were 10, I would have been like, get me an Uber. I just needed an Uber. Your phone was dead. So I'm sitting on the sidewalk, like on the sidewalk, you know, when you're leaning against like a building and there's these four freshmen girls next to me. Okay. So I'm sitting there at like 3am. Did you approach them?

What did I text you? I said, please give me anything. And I gave you an address. For two hours, you guys were out trying to get your own content and you didn't want me. Shut the fuck up. That's not true. That's not true at all. That's the case. That's not true at all.

I was fucking stuck in a mob for two hours. And I had to ask these girls, these teens, to get me a ride home. And they couldn't. And this man and his girlfriend passed home and they couldn't. And this man and his girlfriend passed me and they knew me. Flex, I guess. He asked for a picture and then afterwards he was like, what are you doing?

And I was like, I'm sitting with these girls. They're about to get me a ride home. They're like, oh, those girls are freshmen. I'm their RA. And I was like, yeah. But, okay, so you came home and you you brought all your stuff home because you brought a backpack out the ra line was a joke but he um i had to like pay his girlfriend to call you an uber so i've wasted 80 bucks to get one uber because i didn't want to ask the 40 bucks back from the freshman girl. I wasted 100 bucks on two

oversized fucking duck drinks. $55 each. Yeah, they did cost a lot. I'm going to write it off. You think I could? Where's your backpack, Kyle? It's at SIGCHI.

We don't have the good mics. What did you say? It's at SIGCON. We don't have the good mics. What did you say? It's at Sigma Chi at Kansas U. You left your backpack there. I did. And you knew it was there the next morning. You guys knew it was there the night of.

And we didn't get it back. Wait, wait, wait. Because I was not going to bring myself to the level of shame to go walk in the next morning to Sigma Chi to retrieve my backpack. My Europe is a good brand. Yeah, it was nice. And I like it. What was it called? The worst part is I'm trying to think of what was in my backpack because they those guys knew it was my backpack. It was if you open up the backpack, it was it was melted. I know I know it was melted chocolate shrooms, which it was it was melted i know i know it was melted

chocolate shrooms which i'm fine with they might not know it's true so like it might just they might open up there's a bunch of melted chocolate what else is there's definitely like old empty kratom vials which i'm fine with as well but i know there's something i'm not gonna say it yet that could be in there there's a 50 50 chance that something could be in my backpack that i left at sigma kayak kansas where i the i the the guy a few of the guys know me one of the viceroys i think lives there goes there a lot they know it's my backpack there's one item that if it's in there, they could ruin my life. If they wanted to.

And one of them might be hearing this right now. And I'm off a duck juice. And if it's in there. You want a bean to calm down? I could also call somebody else right now to confirm if it's not in there. But that would make it worse somehow wait these clues i'm not getting this is my first time here tangible item that could have been in my backpack that i left

at a college town i'm 30 it doesn't matter i could have been 21 it'd be just if this if this item is in my backpack that i think it might be 50%, then I'm rude. And that's why I've been so distant. You've been so cunty. You've been an absolute fucking cunt. I know. I know. We were walking onto the airport in Kansas

and I was disheartened to release this. Brianna Chicken Fry did it last night or whenever. I'm doing it now, except it's open-ended with her. There's a gray area whether she's a bitch or not. For me, if this item

is in my backpack and now I know for a fact they're going to scour it, I'm ruined. It is not in an illegal way. Just in an embarrassing way. I was trying to make small talk with you at the I'm ruined It is not in like an Illegal way Just in an embarrassing way I was trying to make small talk with you at the Kansas airport

This morning and you checked your luggage And I still have my backpack That's where you fucked up Why do you still try to make small talk with me When we're doing inopportune and annoying Like mundane activities I don't know it was weird It's 5.30am.m. You're dying.

It's the... We're like taking a shuttle. I just drove an hour in the dark. I could barely see. I'm not trying to make small talk with you while we're shuttling to the airport and going through TCSF. You snapped at me though. I said, yeah, because it's annoying.

You checked your bag and I was like, oh, you don't have any carry-on luggage? You go, I told you four fucking times that I left my backpack at fucking Sigma Chi. Was your brain fucking turned off? I did. And I was just like, oh, Jesus, man. I'm sorry. That's why I believe that you're off a beat. You're probably off a fucking whole bar. And you're probably gonna fuck

it's gonna kill you in three to five years. That's why I spread out my addiction. Wait, can you give a hint of the tangible object? Is there a price point you could say? No, it's not like a cost. It's not a cost. I legitimately can't.

Dude, I'm going to throw up. I've been nauseous for two days. I'm 70% sure it's not in there but the 30 is lingering have you ever had like a panic feeling like that like all the time dude no like something that like this could like really like hurt my life yeah not ruin it but hurt it, mar it But like, how would it get out? I trust those boys That I met, they were real cool They loved playing pong with me And like shooting the shit, but

It's still, I don't know We reverted back to our college days Because you were inside playing pong And I was out alone on the deck You were on the deck Yeah, alone But I I just need to know what this item could be out alone on the deck. You were on the deck. Yeah, alone. Yeah. But I just

need to know what this item could be. Does it have a color? You need to give me and the people some sort of hint. No, because this is, I'm like, I'm off a duck right now, so I'm like spilling.

I don't want this to be a thing um i know the vice is trying to get a job here so let's see what let's see what you do yes if he can retrieve the package or he has this incredible blackmail he could use yeah either way you're hired um kyle before we talk more about kansas can we talk about hello fresh what do you want to talk about about them talk about their their um it's it it is unreal to me how people will go pg pg it's crazy to me i'm yeah like, yeah, right. Unreal. People will travel to like 15 minutes drive to a grocery store, go through the hassle of the carts and like the spatially unaware,

like mutants that are at all times, picking everything out, waiting in that line, you're getting Faygo moon mist, having to carry their own bags out to their car, load them up in their truck room. You can just get it delivered to your door. it's not it is not more expensive that's right if it is it is like five dollars more expensive it's not more expensive five to thirty dollars

more expensive and that's nothing the service fee it's cheaper you guys gotta start paying for convenience even if hello fresh is more net than like traveling to the grocery store. Like, why would you want to travel to the grocery store and do all that pay for convenience? I can't stress this enough. Yeah, that's right.

The grass is always greener, Kyle. And you can go to HelloFresh.com. HelloFresh.com slash story one, six and use code story one, six for up to 16 free meals and free shipping. That's right. Hellofresh.com story16.

In Kansas, we also did a little bit of retail therapy. We were supposed to buy Kansas apparel. So if you watch the Man on the Street video we did that Dave Portnoy tweeted out, our guy, that Dave Portnoy tweeted out. Our guy. I'm wearing a Kansas crew neck and you're wearing what was your shirt? Just had a fucking gun in the middle.

That was cool. But then you also bought this one. The King of Prussia Mall Apple store. And what did the girl say when you bought that? Well, first off, I pay for this because it's so stupid and obscure. Why are you stretching it so much? Some specific people I know live in the area.

So that's why I got it. And then she was like, it's $65. Yeah. Not in Kansas. Not in Kansas. Not in Kansas. And what she said was, well, it's rare. She said it's rare.

Well, yeah, it's rare. Any shirt that's made is rare. The thing is, I disagree wholeheartedly. There are no rare shirts because you can just make another one. Anyone can just make. There shouldn't be such thing as a rare shirt. Anyone can make a unique, exclusive shirt one-on-one. Right.

But then they see that and you can just make another. So don't tell me I bought it anyway. Well, no, because you said I have to get it because my ex-girlfriend works at the king of prussia apple store and she'll fucking flip yeah she might like you know i posted a instagram story wait does your ex-girlfriend actually work no okay no um i don't know if some doyle's town hoes come across this they might fuck with it um we came across uh a paradox when it came to like women as well. It's the Usty paradox. Do you recall?

What? The Usty paradox? U-S-T-Y? Or do you call it the Usty? It sounds like you just invented a paradox, which is fine. No, I didn't. I feel like paradoxes are, should be invented. Everything's invented, Kyle. You're off the fucking duck right now. No, I didn't. I feel like paradoxes should be invented. Everything's invented, Kyle.

You're off the fucking duck right now. No, you're the one talking about how you invented an usty parrot. What is that? Would you roll a six-sided die, a regular die, a septahedron? No, is that it? Is it? Yeah.

Yeah, might be. If one of the faces, you would get a busty girl but all the other faces are different forms of a rusty so crusty words that okay crusty musty dusty dusty three horror rusty rusty's fine you'd be fine with a rusty, dusty, musty, and crusty. Crusty especially. That might be the worst adjective a person can be described. But if you roll the die twice, would you roll it twice so you could get a musty busty? But then I

could get a crusty busty. Or you could just get a dusty. It negates the purpose of being busty. If it's covered with crust, then I'm not sure why it'd be busty if you're covered with crust. Yeah, yeah. Then I'm not sure. Then why it'd be busty if you're covered with crust in the chest area. I would have a flat uncrusted,

a flat uncrustable 10 times out of, 80 times out of 80 before I had a crusty busty. Right. But there's a chance you could roll lusty busty. Well, yeah.

For you, maybe. Why me? That's redundant if it's with me. You make all women busty? Luster. If she's busty, she's going to be lusty. That's not true at all. A lot of the most modest women are busty

and they don't want to show it. Jane Navar. Who's the girl from the The commercial Ellie Kemper What no She doesn't have heavies But she is She was sneaky

Lifted Do heavies have to be natty Heavies Don't have to be natty But Trust me They're gonna be natty Would you settle for a musty heavy If they're not natty, but trust me, they're going to be natty.

Would you settle for a musty heavy? They're still beans, but a musty heavy? I would settle for a musty heavy, depending on certain circumstances. Being what? I don't know, the must? Yeah, I guess the amount of must.

But crusty, I think, negates all things. I think we're both off this duck. Yeah, we're both off the fucking duck right now. You're off a bean and a duck. You never mix a bean and a duck. I just drank too much of this duck. I mean, yeah, these things weigh like 15 fucking pounds.

This is bad, yeah. We're just saying shit. I don't know how long we've been talking. We've said nothing. I don't think we've said a single thing this episode, but I think people will be curious as to what's in your backpack. Mr. Kyle, if you finish the duck...

If I get duck deep, no, I can't. Oh, when we were in Kansas, we saw the biggest slob. We did. It's hard to verbalize. It's hard to verbalize, but we were off a duck. Don't verbalize the humor that ensued from seeing the slob

because it won't do it. We had to pull over. We were like, look at that. We had to pull up. That might do it. Just he was throwing a Frisbee up sideways to himself. Kansas Kansas is not flat. First off. Yeah, they were not flat. They were steep hills, which destroyed my you were furious. But Kansas has no identity. It's completely cultureless. They have no which is like fine to a degree because a lot of places have cultures that are negative. Like what kind of place?

West Virginia, Mississippi. Yeah. So it didn't have that. Like they weren't like overly conservative, overly gross, overly racist, overly ugly. But they were all of the above. But to like a very flat extent, you know what I'm saying? No. You're off the duck and the bee.

I'm trying to describe the, like you could have just said, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now elaborate. Okay, elaborate. You elaborate, because I just did my talk. Kansas isn't flat. That's all I have to say. We got in there.

We saw Rockfish. This type of, like, it felt like a little watered down. It's a major college. Yeah, it's a bean. You're off a bean right now. Maybe you are off a whole bar i'm not off are you fucking addicted no dude i'm just afraid of flying and i have to do we've been flying non-stop for the past two years and you have more flights coming up like an exponential amount of flights coming up in the next six to eight months yeah i got it so you are preemptively

addicted to xanax no because i only do it when I fly, with the day up. And we've been flying so much! Okay, I just have to call Bean Man! Okay, so just tell me you're flying. Because here's the craziest part, and you don't know this. I'm not prescribed. Yeah, that makes it a little bit worse. Are you zoinked?

I'm not zoinked. At all. You don't have the wherewithal to, like, elaborate on what I'm saying. I'm trying to, like, agree with you for once. What? I'm not off it. You're off it. My beans are this big, and they're specifically for flying.

I am just not prescribed to them. I'm not trying to have, like, an intervention with you. I would love for you. You need a fucking intervention. I'm saying I'm not trying to have like an intervention with you. I would love for you. You need a fucking intervention. I'm saying I'm not trying to have intervention. I would love for you to get a little worse. Yeah, I think I probably should.

I think I probably should. What are we doing in San Antonio? You tell me. I think we're just doing a video tomorrow where we have no real plans. We have plans. I'm we're just doing a video tomorrow where we have no real plans. We have plans. I'm going to figure it out. This duck on me. I just heard your stomach make a horrible, horrible noise.

This duck on me, quack. Shout out to Barstool Sports, first of all, for hiring me and putting me in this awesome fucking hotel. It's amazing. It's like very modern. The headboard, I have a king-size bed, leather headboard, but like wood around it. It's all like modern cement everywhere.

Amazing view. I'm room, my room's five. I'm on the fifth floor, which is good view. Bar on the third floor. And then are you close? Are you on the, are you higher or lower floor than me? This is the type of single apartment that someone from Lima, Ohio,

would move to Albuquerque, New Mexico, to live in and pursue something he didn't get a degree. This isn't nice. It's really nice. Why are you so defensive? We're staying in the same hotel, aren't we? Oh, that's right they just put you in a different hotel they put you in a hotel down the street

why do you think they did that they know it that's that's a thing. Everybody else is in this hotel. When, like, Obama went to Camp David, like, Sarah Palin stayed in a nicer lodge than him. Obama and Sarah Palin? When they went to Camp David. Why would they go to Camp David? That is a very known retreat. Why would they be there together?

Higher political powers go to together. Why him and her? They were adversaries. Well, she was her role. She ran against. No, all of. Yeah, all of they bring them all together for one weekend in Maryland at Camp David well she's a lady

so like Colin Powell was there too Huckabee was there like all of the name two more Huckabee was there how the fuck did you know Mike Huckabee Palin was there Powell was there

Marjorie Mar? Palin was there. Powell was there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Marjorie. Marjorie Green was there. All of the... If you were in politics, you were at Camp David every May. And then you would assume the president would get

the nicest lodge? And Barack would get probably the third nicest lodge. Like the hotel down the street? Even if everybody else was staying in a really nice one? Camp David is like a suburb of Deep Creek in Garrett

County, Maryland. Okay. So like some of like Barack would stay way out in Garrett County next to Deep Creek and the rest of them would stay in Camp David. So you're comparing yourself to Obama? No, I'm just saying like why? Like the fact that you have a nicer hotel

doesn't say anything. No, it's not just me that's in this hotel though. It's like everybody else on the trip. Which is, there has to be. It's not because I'm dirty. Have you been? Why? Yeah, because Brandon Walker's sister

is here. Uh-huh. Corey's here. Yeah, Cody Lanza's here. Cody Lanza's here. Large is here. Large is here and then I'm in the Sheraton.ody lands is here cody lands large is here large is here and then i'm in the sheraton it's not like it's right across the street either it's a seven minute walk which is cumbersome and annoying when you're holding a big fucking duck drink and all the hispanic women are asking me which i didn't mind or how'd you get that how much was it i said 35 they said never mind etc etc down the block so it's seven minutes away and i and also you guys checked it and i had to wait till five right which is not a universal

time the universal time is four max i had to wait till five and so you just sat in this hotel's lobby uh-huh and i'm gonna make trust me'm going to make the next guest wait till six. That's how bad I'm going to do it. Is it because, has your hotel had a, since we've been traveling so much, staying in hotels, slow down on the duck. First off, this is a placebo. This is just sugar. I'm very drunk with half a duck. You have an empty duck. I think I am drunk. It's with half a duck and it's you have an empty duck i think i

am drunk it's just gross yeah it's bad it's gross in the sense of like a like a diet cranberry apple juice from ocean spray would be gross yeah it doesn't feel like i'm getting drunk no no it's just uh just it's not great but keeping keeping that, keeping the duck. Typically, you could have done the podcast from your hotel way down the road. We could have just zoomed you in. Stained it with raspberry. Not internally. Kyle broke his computer.

I had a case of raspberries that they got from the market down the street. Jubilee. And you packed them in your luggage. Somehow, over the course of going to Kansas and to Sigma Chi and winning all those beer pong games and getting on the roof, denying all the girls because they were much younger the raspberries melted raspberries don't melt raspberries melt because why did you bring my entire my entire backpack was filled with this red mystery juice that i didn't know until i actually pulled out the the dry raspberries. Yo, so I spilled raspberries all over my mat. Why did you pack raspberries? Forgot I had them from the grocery store.

Yeah, I figured you don't have to tell me where you got them. Oh, is that raspberry? Raspberry damage. Like sliding into home. Hey, did you get it on your mask? Did you get raspberries on your mask? Oh, yeah. I can't wear it.

Came out of them. Why did you? My entire MacBook Pro broke. Three-dimensionally, not internally. You can see the... There's a drizzle. Yeah. It's covered in raspberry drizzle.

You open up, there's raspberry damage. Why did you bring raspberries? Because when you wake up hungover, you have a specific amount of thirst. You're dehydrated, but you crave sugar. And I always crave fruit when I'm hungover. I wake up 7 a.m after a night of drinking i crave a bushel of raspberries so i i came prepared i didn't know raspberries melted raspberries don't

they melted they produced a juice that got all over what makes you think that they didn't just smash so the sigma chi guys are going to also find if that one thing is in there, if that one thing is stained with raspberry juice, that might make it better. I don't know. Because it might blur out something that

can't be read. Is it a note? It's not a note. What is it? It may as well be. No, I'm not saying. Oh, fuck, dude. I don't even know if it's Sigma Chi. It could have just been a house. I think it was just a house.

Today's episode is also brought to you by GameTime, the app. That's how we buy our tickets. We're going to try to catch a Spurs game while we're here. It's the only app created by fans for fans. GameTime is a new ticketing app. It'll make it easier to score last-minute

deals on tickets to sports, Kyle. You eyeing up my wall art? Your hotel doesn't have wall art? Those look like originals, too. Those suck. No, they don't. That one's an O'Keefe. Anyways, yeah, we're going to try to go to the spurs game um if they're playing no

i don't give a fuck it's just like say you're gonna use it okay but you guys would do that yeah well you guys always go on these trips you're like oh it'd be so sick if we saw the spurs there's 150 games a year from every nba team nobody cares. But it's cool to go to the arena. It's not cool. Kyle, this is an app for tickets to go to the arena. This app is amazing. There's better events. There's a monster truck event. That's right. And you can skip the hassle to go see

Gravedigger and enjoy the moment. The best part? Right now? Well, monster trucks suck too. I'm trying to think of something that you... Bull riding. No No Concerts Some Okay I think Khalid is from this area

Okay, yeah, so if you want to go He's from El Paso Okay, so not really Guys, you can get $20 One of the big country singers is from San Antonio Luke Bryan? No He's obviously not.

Morgan Wallen? No. He just said the N-word. Yeah, that's right. He's not from El Paso. He said the N-word. Ah, shit. Once it comes back to us, we'll say it.

But you guys get $20 off your first purchase. If you download the GameTime app, go to the Account tab, create a login, and redeem the code UNTOLD, U-N-T-O-L-D, for $20 off your first purchase. Download GameTime for last-minute tickets, lowest price guaranteed. Tommy Lee Jones. Tommy Lee Jones? That's not a country singer. He's from here. Yeah, he's from Men in Black.

Michelle Rodriguez. Ooh, she showed tits on training day. Did she? I've only seen her in death proof i might be wrong she probably did she was in girl fight what's a girl fight oh oh man are you all right yeah let's call the episode you had you drank an entire two liter duck no it doesn't help that it looks like a cock. Show them how you were drinking with two hands. You see everything as a cock. This is undeniably a cock.

Remember, you would always open up those optical illusion books in the library. They were right next to the zoo books. Magic eyes. And you would mistake the old woman's profile face for a cock. It's a young woman or a cock. Why is it always a cock? This looks like a fucking dick to you. You just saw the appendage.

It doesn't look a thing like a cock. Look at the nuances of this duck and its wings and its belly and its septum. It doesn't look a thing like a cock. Ducks don't have septums. What is that? It's a beak. Oh.

All right. Ducks don't have be Oh. All right. Cocks don't have beaks. Never have. All right. That's a new untold story. Thank you guys for listening. No, baby! That's a new untold story.

I knew I told you. It's a fresh, untold story I knew I told you