A New Untold Story - A New Untold Story: Ep. 289 - Live from Nashville (ft. Elon Musk)

Episode Date: April 28, 2022

|| A New Untold Story: Ep. 289 - Live from Nashville (ft. Elon Musk) || The boys discuss Sarah Fuller, Sofia Franklin, Swaggy Filipinos, & much more || Episode available on Apple/Spotify/YouTube/etc. || Thank you #AnusYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, A New Untold Story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad-free on Amazon Music. What you got there? Let me get a little taste here soon. Well, it looks like you already drank some. Don't you? You can see. Yeah, you can see how you look on there. Oh, and maybe you sit way on the bed behind us. Oh, Tyler, what's up, man?

Is he in here? I would like that. I'd also like him to do what he wants. Yo, yo, yo. Test, test. Boy. Is that your reply to what I'm going to say? No, you're just going to say,

no, that's a new untold story. Hey, is that story old or told? No, baby. That's a new untold story! A new untold story! It's a fresh big untold story! A new untold

story! Some of the ads yeah oh my god i always forget a lot of ads well they suck dude they suck i'm regressing to a 12 year old with this job. Why? What are you doing now? Cause I just like only do what I want. When there's something is like slightly like off my radar of something I enjoy. I'm just like, nah, like an ad because I just hate reading them because I love all the products that we advertise for because it's a collaborative process.

That's right. We choose them and us and them. We talk to them back and forth. But it just, it just unnatural having to read their script and specs. Yeah, you're right. Speaking of though,

uh, did you see, did you get any new Instagram followers? I've been getting, I've been getting more girls than guys lately. No, no. I got followed by dude wipes yesterday.

Ooh. Uh huh. I think the time is comingipes yesterday. Ooh. Uh-huh. I think the time is coming. Yeah, go to Dude Wipes. Dude Wipes? Because if they follow me and not you... Dude Wipes doesn't follow me still. Still, still. Okay. Go to their

follow... Yeah, they'll see me on there. They're following me. So that's odd. I wonder if they're going to try to get a one-off collab or maybe a Nick-scented Duke White. Let them know. But you're telling them to let them know? Yeah, because we have an army.

Do we? No. I think the army is against us. Dude, look at the drive-thru line at the Wendy's out the door. We're in Nashville, Tennessee. at the drive-thru line at the Wendy's out the door. We're in Nashville, Tennessee. It's, they're famous for their chicken

and it's 14 cars deep. Yeah, and it's 930. Yeah. That's what's wrong with America. That is? You're gonna wait 14 cars to get a baked potato?

I'd get the spicy chicken. yeah anyway new untold story episode one sponsored by game time kyle by game time and that's an app we met with them we love them so much and we really bargained with them said hey we'll do the ads because we love the product but we'd like to do it we actually talked to not them but him it's one person yes one guy yes um that and that makes it all the more amazing of a product that one guy is able to do all of that yeah what's his name shane it was it was shane something i don't i know he's the game game he's the game time guy um uh, they're allowing us to do a PG 13 PG 13. So,

uh, it's created by fans and we can say fuck game time. Is that our created by fans for fans game time is now ticketed. You know, you can, you're allowed to say it once. What was the F word? You've, you're allowed to say it once. Say what once? The F word.

You've really backed me into a corner here. Okay. They cracked the code on how to score deals last minute tickets. Kyle went to go see the Book of Mormon last minute. Use the game time. My parents took me, and my mom bought the wrong ticket. So we had to buy a second ticket. And those are expensive, like hundreds of dollars.

And then somehow she took it out on us. Yeah. So we didn't even get to enjoy the Mormon jokes. Yes. Anyways, the purchase process just takes two taps. First off, don't see Book of Mormon. Just go watch a comedy movie. Skip the hassle.

Enjoy the moment. You are right. Plays are... Plays shouldn't be a thing. Plays aren't edited. I don't know why. Like, that takes... The whole point of a comedy anything is that you can edit it to make it way funnier.

That's right. Actually, plays, like... Plays are just, like, regressive humor. Right. Like, if you're looking to laugh, don't go to a play. I'm trying to think of like, the only people that should really go to a play are people who like are experienced in theatrics,

like a wrestling tournament. Don't go to a wrestling tournament unless you've wrestled and know the sport. No, plays are different because they invented a better all around thing in a movie. In the movie. It's cheaper.

The acting's better. And it's edited phenomenally to a point where there are no dry or bad points. It is the best product. I'm trying to think of a comparison. What is something that's been invented but the old thing is still used? And still used, like, pretentiously. Like, rich calls and texts. Calls and texts.

I think texts are less advanced than calls calling technology is astounding texting makes sense yeah texting should have come before calling exactly we technically should just do everything via audio yes it's so much more efficient since the last podcast uh we filmed that we recorded that the day we had to get dinner with our parents. Kyle, your mom sat down right across from my mom. What was the first thing she said to her? My mom gets frantic and she acts differently when she's in a new city.

She's used to West Virginia, so don't judge her. She was being very morbid and it was embarrassing. She was only talking about death and people, mutual people that died. We had three different families, most of whom, like most of the parents of whom like never talk. It's a rare occurrence. So this was like one of those like on edge dinners where you just be normal. And your mom sat down and looked at you.

She just kept talking about death. The first thing she said to my mom was like, have you guys bought a plot yet? I know. I know. But is she a morbid person or was that her go-to? She looks at the glass. What? She looks at the glass. What's the glass?

It's a saying. It has to be half after your full. My mom knows. She won't stop looking at it and she won't determine which one it is, which is worse than saying it's half after your mom no she's like just we just won't stop looking at it and she won't determine which one it is which is worse than saying you can't say you're that's a saying looking at the glass isn't a saying she yeah she's like an indecisive pessimist where she's not she's not even ready to be pessimistic but she's not optimistic no she's not all right let's look at the positives we were on a we're on a we on a game show, which is my dream since I watched Richard Hatch,

Tina Wesson, Bucky Covington. As a kid. Even the singing ones. It's amazing. Yes. In a way. Yeah. Now we're in Nashville.

We got lucky enough to be in Owen's 10th floor suite. You sit in the 10th floor in LA too, right? Yeah. Yeah. I have an aversion to low floors. Nah, you got a penthouse on both coasts. Jeez. That's a pH balance.

Oh my God. You can see, you had 11 hours on an RV. It's a childish Gambino bar. I'm not going to claim that. You had 11 hours on an RV show. It was a childish Gambino bar. I'm not going to claim that. But I was in Nick, one of the camera guy's rooms, and he has a perfect view of Vanderbilt's football stadium.

Okay. Which was surreal. Surreal in a good way? Yeah. We got to see the Power Five football stadium. Yeah, but they're kind of – But here's the kicker. Okay.

Sarah Fuller is here. The quasi-semi-star of the 1-11 Commodores. A little callback to our first ever video. Remember that? I feel like you're doing... Is that like a move when I say something boring? No, I just thought it would be

like a little Easter egg for the fans. What are you talking about? I was thinking you were going to keep going and I can do that as a little Easter egg. Wow.

Like in a Marvel movie or like the Prince's Boner. But I feel like it's like when someone bites into an apple mid-conversation to tell like subtly or not so subtly tell them that they're being boring. You were talking about a female kicker.

It's the most obnoxious food to eat. Don't – yeah. No, continue. Sarah Fuller is here. She's in the bathroom right now. She's our first celebrity guest. Sarah. Sarah, don't be shy

is that all you had not all you had there you're 11 hours on a rv you think that was pre-planned yes i know that was that was not pre-planned no you can see the stadium here's the kicker wasn't planned here's the kicker and then saraher shows up. Pull up your notes app. Oh, you got a new phone. I did. Um, back to our parents dinner though. Your dad kept on going to the bathroom not to piss, but he would hide. Don't talk shit on my family on this dude. They all listen. Your mom consumes everything. Your dad won't care. My dad does listen. Yeah. But what? Um, he would come out of the bathroom with a huge bulge in his pants and he'd go to me and reach in his pants and pull out. He just stole rolls of toilet paper the entire time we were at the restaurant. Yeah. And he kept putting it like he was like planting them in your mom's purse. Yes. We ended up stealing like 11 rolls of toilet paper. And, uh, we didn't know the restaurant. It was family style, but we

had like eight people with us, so we ordered two of everything. Our bill ended up being $1,500. It was so much. My mom cried. Did she? No, and it made me feel good. I was like, welcome to New York.

You always shame me for my spending. Like, this is what a dinner costs, $1,000, $1,500. Every time. Every time. And she cried? She cried. Did you let them see your apartment? No.

And that made her cry too. So my options were, you can come see my apartment. They were staying in a hotel near mine. You can come see my apartment and then you would just instinctively start cleaning it and crying. Or you can avoid that and nope no tears will be shed and that wouldn't be an issue that's a that's a net positive i don't know but she cried anyway she did did you apologize for like she cried because the bill was a thousand dollars and she cried because my dad was being a hooligan and she cried because, well, I don't know. I told her you got arrested in New York once.

No, yes. So she dropped me off at the hotel in the Uber and then I did a second one because your apartment is closer to their hotel and you apparently told her that I got a... You subtly said it in a way that was very... You never said you were kidding. And you know my mom is very gullible and naive,

and you didn't budge on that. You never said, "'Ha-ha, I was kidding." You never even hinted at that, so she thinks it's real. So she pegged me with, I forgot to tell you about this, because I'm just so sick of a... No, so...

No, I can't even, like, tell you anything. I played it so well. I played it so well. Yeah, that means you played it poorly. You just fucked me. Sarah Fuller's here. She's still in the bathroom. I like referring to someone who's fat as full.

She was on the Fullers. She wasn't fat. She was so... Speaking of fat, you guys had a B the fool. She wasn't fat. She was so... Speaking of fat, you guys had a Vandy versus Vanderbilt episode. Oh, yeah. We've talked about it.

Yeah, picking up a girl in a Vandy shirt, waking up to a girl in a Vanderbilt shirt. I ate the apple. The apple, no one knows. That was a throwback.

To what? Our first video was sponsored by apples. Oh, that wasn't even... That was pre-podcast. I know. Our first video. No one sponsored by apples. Oh, that wasn't even, that was pre-podcast. I know. Our first video. No one remembers that.

All right. We'll see. What did your parents say to you? It's just pink lemonade. It is. It's pink Whitney. So I had a stomachache, so I opted out of dinner. And my, like, strategy for tempering it was pink Whitney mixed with pink lemonade.

It's a double pink. Yeah. It's a double pink. Yeah. It's not. Yeah. It's like a double pink. Yeah. Like what? Like shuffling your music and hearing money. I think Charles is going to be on an Ariel

pink double. I was thinking like the singer pink with the exclamation point and then pink Floyd back to back. We had a Pink Floyd joke. We had a Pink Floyd joke as well. It wasn't a joke. He was our real. And he was always sunburned.

I was one of the challenges that we were on this reality show. I don't want to say anything, but one of the challenges we had, I had to go down a ladder. And the whole time I was prepping on trying to, trying to go down this ladder coolly. And, uh, I did it very, very poorly.

And I realized, you know how you said this was the least masculine thing you could do. The, the heart with the hand. I can't even do, I tried to do it and it looks, it looks still like kind of cool. I can't do it.

Owen can do it very well. Owen. You're still directly on the lamp. That was way too good. That was way too good. And I like Owen. So that worries me. The least masculine thing a man can do

is descend a ladder poorly. Because I went like and then I tried to jump the last two. Descending a ladder is the hardest part. Especially when you like... That's the hardest part of what? I would climb the high dive at Settler's Cabin. And that was fine.

But then when I got to the top, I was like, I have to get down. And then I couldn't get down. Wait, you wouldn't jump off the high dive? I was idling on the top of the high dive. And there's always a gap between the last rung of the ladder and the actual high dive platform, which terrifies the fuck out of me.

How old were you? I don't know if I was a... I was wrestling at 10. So you were like in college and you got afraid on a high dive? It was like one of the biggest in like the fucking... Oh, was it like one of the diving ones? Yeah.

Why did you even try to do that? That would hurt. I'm fine with jumping into water. Okay. I'm just... I am not fine with risking... The hardest part is climbing the ladder, which has no safety nets.

That's like the one of the that shouldn't be legal osha should just shut down high dives yeah but like you're voluntarily they're letting like children climb ladders with nothing behind them no bungees no cords yeah no nets and it's concrete that's the hardest part if they if they like temporarily let go they can just fall backwards and die yeah they took down the high dive at wheeling park because a kid died i'm not like a nimby like old head but take down high dives nimby is that an acronym not in my backyard oh my god you like set that trap for me knowing i'd ask. That's like a thing. I didn't invent that term. Sure.

But like you said it, um, good. I'm turning into like in my thirties, I'm going to be the biggest con. Yeah. Yeah. I'm already turning into like a,

like a fairy douche bag where like, I look down at people for like going out. I drink only for personal pleasure and not for social gains. Like I would prefer to drink alone and just like look at Wendover YouTubes. Wendover? Like he's like the guy who like, like you, I think you showed me some.

They talk about like the old like Burmese cities. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's old news for me. That was just a phase. Like the Hawaiian highways.

Yeah, that was cool. The biggest fail. Yeah. No, I'm on, I'm on to Serpa Design. He makes vivariums.

Vivariums? Yes, vivariums. I'm trying to think what that could be. Using context. Terrarium is like a reptilian cage. Could be. What is it? Verarium.

Vivarium. Vivarium. It's like half water, half land. What is that? Like frogs or turtles. And they're like cages that you keep in your he makes tanks and he's the best in the world at it tiktok is the best app no this is youtube youtube is better than tiktok but tiktok is a great app tiktok i just use to discover things

on youtube if that makes sense i'll find something yeah when tiktok you see like the for people with shorter attention spans like like children, then the adults go to the YouTubers. Yeah. Please. What? Do we have a second app, AdOwn, or we just have that? We just have one. That's a good sign, actually.

Not a good sign at all. I've been hitting the pen. You've been hitting the pen? Come on. And it's been affecting your drinking. We had a little happy hour schmooze fest. Okay. With fans. Yeah. And the performance was lackluster of drinking. Yes.

You were drinking a Vegas bomb out of a straw. I hate it when you do the high voice to me. I know, but it pissed me off. Why? We had, like, genuine fans of us. Yes. I hate it when you do the high voice to me. I know, but it pissed me off. Why? We had like genuine fans of us. Yes. People who came to see us.

Yes. And I'm like, I'm ripping shots and they get you a Vegas, you drink out of a straw. Paper. A paper straw too. It was getting all soggy. Dude. It was. What was it? dude you it was

what was it there were no girls there to impress there were two right but there was swaggy Filipinos there I can't compete with swaggy Filipinos don't bring in swaggy Filipinos why you were nursing the Vegas bombs

there's no reason to impress girls with their swagger. The addict didn't die for that. For you to just drink a Vegas bomb out of a fucking straw. Oh, dude. Jesus Christ. You should get a job with the Raptors. Huh, Owen? Nick should get a job

with the Raptors the way Nick was nursing those shots. Or he should get a Hollywood role. But Nick notey instead of Nick notey. He should get a role in Parks and Rec

he would be Nick get off her man that's my girlfriend she doesn't want to fuck you I see what you're doing with the swaggy Filipinos you're trying to lure me in to talk shit on my cousin Jack who is a swaggy

Filipino but there is a true stereotype about swaggy Filipinos that he doesn't fall into I'm sorry you didn't want me to bring up swaggy there's a lot of swaggy Filipinos most powerful race on earth who try very hard to fit into the the cool NBA culture.

Yeah. They get girls. They do. Yes. I've had many a girl taken by an SP. They don't. Yeah, they do. They don't. They spit the best.

They're Game Boy SPs. Thank you. Thank you. I didn't check my notes out. I'm dying from this apple. Yeah, what are you doing? I'm checking on that. That's ironic.

Why? It's just like nothing you die from. An apple? It's like the old saying. That's what keeps you alive. An apple a day? Yeah. And I'd die from one?

You'd be dying. That is pretty ironic. But you've been doing sayings lately. I've been doing sayings. I've been happy. What were your thoughts? Well, no, you haven't been. You got mad at me for telling your parents you got arrested.

Geniusly. Because I said, oh, it's so nice of you guys to support Kyle. I think you paid his bail. They were like, oh yeah, Kent. I was like, oh yeah. How did that happen? She explained the whole thing to me and it made me really want to kill you because I know exactly what you did and I know

you knew that my mom would believe you. She's like the most naive person in the world and my dad is the exact opposite so luckily she has that safety net of my dad to tell her hey like everything that everyone says to you your mom believe you fuck sophia franklin that was that was the one silver lining of my mom's gullible is that you told her i fucked sophia franklin and she didn't believe and what did she do like she got upset to cry so here's my thing i remember in high school when i was like i didn't believe me. And what did she do? She got upset. To cry. So here's my thing. I remember

in high school when I was like I didn't drink so I was never going out I was never hanging out with girls and like she like made me feel, she was like she like scolded me. Not scolded. She was like you gotta get out and meet people. And then finally when I start fucking ad nauseum

she starts crying. And then when I started fucking Sophia Franklin in her head, she cries. Well, your mom pressured you into getting a girlfriend. You chose a girl that just is like... She's now an HVAC repairman. Sophia Franklin?

I don't want to say her name. She's in a good way. It's a good job. Yeah, it's a great job. Sophia Franklin is stripping for Rudy Giuliani. Yeah. Yeah, so. But anyway, yeah. We were in the Uber just dropped you off.

She got like shit for that. If I was in a situation where I could get a picture of me taken on a stripper pole with Rudy Giuliani in it, I would have posted that too. Would you have posted that on Instagram? That would be my best post. People were like, like, yeah,

like she just, yeah, that's funny. It is funny. People is crazy how people like if anybody else did, if you did that, LMAOs, if I did that,

LOLs, if Owen did that, has, if Sophia Franklin did that, she's like this like whore who missed out on a bunch of money yeah that's just a funny picture it's funny that's really funny it's a good way to put it um anyways you have been you have not been happy or in a good mood lately you've been more angry than ever I've been I said this before and I'll say it again. I'll say it again now. Anger is correlated with a general good mood in life.

That makes no fucking sense. I said it before. When you're depressed, you don't feel anger. And you know this. How do I know it? When you're depressed, you just feel indifference. Yeah. You just, all you want to do is sleep.

Yeah. When you're angry, you have a reason to live. Anger is closer to excitement and happiness than sadness so you've been very close to happiness lately you've been angry we went to this like big truck stop today called bucky's is that what it's called yeah everybody was so excited for they're all buying t-shirts everyone's been raving about it for years. I pictured it as this wonderland emporium. Yeah.

It wasn't a wonderland emporium. It was just sheets intertwined with a shitty mall store. The food was good. And you bought how much? I bought $100 worth of shit. I've been spending.

You've been spending? You finally got a new phone? Do you have everything transferred over? Once you really set in stone your suicide date, you spend. Wait, what's your suicide date? I'm kidding. I spend money as if I had a suicide date. Your mom's going to... That actually had me worried.

I spend money very foolishly as if I had a suicide date in the next five years. I don't. That's just how I spend. I don't get the point of, like, aggressively saving. Why did you just choose five years? Because that's the frequency and the intensity in which I spend money. So you're all, okay.

So you, okay. I spend money not, like, I don't, like, I won't, like So you're all, okay. So you, okay. I spend money. Not like I don't like, I won't like throw it all at once, but I will throw away too much at one place. Like Bucky's. Like Bucky's. Cause I'm just like, yeah,

yeah. Just like that. Um, have you visited the anus subreddit recently? I actually got a new phone. Don't have read it at the moment. Um, I think somebody made a grinder profile for me

they are they're getting funnier they're getting funnier um for you not for me except somebody did get their ass beat uh crew dissing so send more of those crew dissing i can't stress enough that crew dissing is the best it's truly the best we like you have to try it and again you need it needs to be one person and it needs to be a group of people and all you have to do is pass them and look at them and say weak ass crew yeah that's all it entails and then what what ensues after that is, I don't know. It's out of our hands. Out of our hands. So, like, I don't know. Start, like, maybe work your way up.

Start with the schoolboys or something. I saw this one, too. A missed connection. I saw Kyle in the Lower East Side the other day and said, KB gonna have that. He did. I remember that. So, what did he say after that? I was very awkward after that.

He did this gimpy, open-handed fist pump and kind of laughed slash squawked back at me. I did. It was sick. What did you do? That is exactly what I did. Every time someone, it's always like a, I go to like, are they going to do a handshake or a dap? And then I fuck it up regardless. So what did you do?

And then I always like. What was your squawk? Then I always once I fuck up the dap up I always feel garbage like god awful and I always like do like make this like instinctive animalistic sound of pain

and then like get way too self conscious about how bad that went and then I'd over explain to the situation and then I was like that that was so bad let's do it again and they're always just like dude so he said then I'm gonna have that you just went he said that and I got excited your voice I know it was higher than I got high pitched and I tried to dap him up. Give me an accurate sound that you made.

Let me just do the situation with Owen. Owen's a great dapper, I'm not. wait okay don't say kb's gonna have that yo kb's gonna have that oh yo that's i'm usually better than that it was it was somehow it was worse than always. It was so bad. It was so bad. No, man, that didn't seem too bad. You want to scoot in? What else are you trying to do on this trip?

My voice is crap. I got to pick one. 18 or 30. I'm leaning into both. It's honestly, like, depressing. What is? What do you mean both? Dude, I'm fucking old.

Like, being in a college campus, I used to always, like, view myself as an extension of, like, what year of college I'm in or, like, I'm just this much out of college. Now I'm out, out of college, and I am nowhere near the realm of college. So when we're like near Vanderbilt and we're going to Madison, Wisconsin for a happy hour, I'm not even like – I can't even say I was just in grad school anymore, which I was like in for three years. Now I'm just like closer to 40. Yes.

Pretty scary. It's disgusting. I mean, yeah, closer to 40 than college i mean yeah that's not true but it's that's like i was in college 10 years ago yeah and you'll be 40 i was in college i was in college in 2011 yeah 11 years ago and i'll be 40 in 11 years dude that is that is destroying me because i we work at Barstool and we do all this. College stuff, yeah. And that's the thing. Kansas, you were just a shell of yourself.

You were not interacting with any college students. I was. No, no, no. Get me there and I'm there. I can flip the switch easily. It's just when I'm in a hotel room with just you that it really like hits home why just me just like being around you is just like what i wow this is i really should not be excited

for what aging just anything because you never feel excitement i don't and i still feel like semblances of excitement yeah i i think I need to work on that. No, I think we got to meet in the middle. You got to be a little bit more excited about things and I got to be a little less. Okay. I'll work on that.

All right. You need to work on tempering. No, you don't have expectations for things. No, that's good. The sooner you have stuff, I don't stress.

I have terrible anxiety, but I, I've never stressed about like what's in the future. Oh, I constantly do. Do you do? Yeah. I never think about like what's in a year because we still have 13 more days

of this, 12 more days of this. And then two weeks of rediscovering. Are you not like, do you not feel a sense of over? Like I, I love, I love the competitiveness.

I love challenges. What I hate is team things. That's why basketball is the ultimate sport team-wise. Because basketball, everyone, if you're in the game, you're going to get action. You're always going to be defending or in a position to score or assist. With baseball, I hated baseball. I love baseball, but I hated it because you never got a chance to perform.

I love playing second and shortstop, but I would go a whole game without getting a single ball hit to me. So I'm just standing there, and then you only get three at-bats, maybe two. Football, you stand at cornerback or safety, and you might only get one person in your position to tackle. Yeah, that's the best. You're just standing around. And then, again, on offense, like I never –

obviously I was too small to get that much running back play. And it was just standing – football was just standing around. Baseball was just standing around. Basketball was the coolest sport. I never played, but if you're going to judge sports on excitement, stop talking shit on basketball. Basketball is the one. What about hockey?

Hockey, too. I just don't know anything about it. So, yeah, this is a team thing we're doing. We can say that. There's a medley of team and individual challenges. Yes. How'd you do on the individual challenge? No spoilers.

I feel like that was a sufficient spoiler. We'll see. I guess you guys can find out. That's your reply to what I'm going to say. No, you're just going to say, like, no, that's a new untold story. Hey, is that story old or told? No, baby. It's a new untold story.

A new untold story. It's a fresh, big untold story. A new untold story. I knew I told you.