A New Untold Story - A New Untold Story: Ep. 297 - Pokémon, Sopranos, Bieber

Episode Date: June 16, 2022

|| A New Untold Story: Ep. 297 - Pokémon, Sopranos, Bieber || Nick, KB, & Owen prep for the IBM interview, take another crack at some update jokes, talk Pokémon, the Sopranos, gay cities & much more, Cheers! || Felix Gray: Check out Felix Gray Glasses at https://barstool.link/FelixGrayStory || Gametime: Download the Gametime app at https://barstool.link/GametimeApp and redeem code UNTOLD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply).You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, A New Untold Story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad-free on Amazon Music. It's a fresh, big, untold story. A new, untold story. Kyle, what episode is it? Are we starting? No, that's just how I typically talk to you. Yeah, you would be like, all right, you ready? You ready?

Get your mind right. Get your mind right, Kyle. That sounds like something I'd say. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You ready? You ready? Yeah. I'm going to crack your back.

That would be great. It's 2.97. 2.97? Yep. Getting closer and closer to our Indian guests. yeah yeah you ready you ready yeah i'm gonna crack your back that'll be great 297 297 yep getting closer and closer to our indian guests a lot of people guessed it who it was out of all the options out of all the billions of options billions that's right it's sanjay gupta uh off the top i was trying so hard to think of another one besides Maresh Patel. Sanjay Gupta. Frida Pinto. Yeah.

Dev Patel. Yeah. So the segment was polarizing the weekend update. So I think they don't like pre-planned stuff. So I think we should do more like improv weekend update i'll go first same joke again i'm going to do that every week breaking news kyle oh and former trump lawyer michael avenatti pled guilty to stealing 10 million from five clients, including a paraplegic man. Avenatti's life has really gone downhill since 2018.

We can only hope the paraplegics life goes downhill, too. It'll be easier that way. You hear about this, Kyle? How to murder your husband author sentenced to life in prison for what? Murdering her husband. If stuff like that comes true. I thought for sure that that headline wrote itself as a joke, but let's see what you add. Yeah.

If things like that come true, look for my new book hitting the shelves. Dude gets his dick sucked. You weren't even bragging about a good blowjob. You could have said dude got his dick sucked by a 10 out of 10 model excuse me i'm talking a handful of arab countries have banned buzz lightyear for having a same-sex kiss scene pixar shouldn't be too shocked though based on their history last i checked cars bombed over there. Wait, wait, wait. Let me go off that one. These guys are trying to

get a fictional toy out of here. They're worried about catching the wrong buzz. They don't even drink alcohol. They're so boring. They should go drink some booze. There we go. They're worried about a same sex kiss

scene uh the sunnis are always kissing other weekend update they're worried about a same sex kiss scene i thought sunnis were allowed to kiss other sunnis yeah good work man an ex nypd cop fired a gun into the atlantic ocean he got six months up to or four years in prison uh when uh asked the officer pled ignorance and he said he thought it was the black sea that's okay to shoot if you're a cop oh fuck you're gonna like this one uh when inflation rose 8.6 percent in may it's the highest it's ever been since 1981 who the fuck gave this economy an everlasting gobstopper that's the candy violet beauregard ate in charlie and the chocolate factory that's right that's right that's right a major tampon shortage has struck the u.s

women are enraged men are disgusted and sharks are fucking stoked when women swim there'll be there'll be blood in the water yes yes yes uh an elephant killed an elderly woman and then went to her funeral and trampled her corpse. You know, Kyle, in some cultures, that's considered good luck. Yeah. Feel free to piggyback off of any of these. I also read about

that article. You read about the article, so you read the title like i did yeah i clicked for the second line of the article she was tossed out of an open cast yeah flung yeah by an elephant that originally killed her there's always like other cultures like you know in some cultures that's yeah yeah uh trans jeopardy winner amy schneider throughout the first pitch for the san francisco giants for uh for pride month one commenter said uh it was one of the bravest things they've ever seen looks like there was a first inning stretch that game too kyle i didn't finish this joke i I'll let you finish it. Happy birthday to Kevin McHale.

You may know him as the gay glasses wearing wheelchair bound singer from Glee. You. Is Kevin McHale you? I was going to go something like while some people wanted an actual gay

wheelchair bound Glee Club member to play the part, they've all killed themselves. Bullying. But again, we're both going off the cuff there. I don't want to assign a winner or loser. Owen has them too. You can go next, Kyle. No, you skipped again?

Chuck. No, you skipped again? Fuck. Barstool Sports headed to Sonoma Raceway for one of the biggest NASCAR events of the year. Fans, this was over the weekend, fans got a chance to meet and experience the race with Barstool's very own Casey Kelly, cons large and spider.

Cons large and spider sounds like me describing a tarantula in my home. Cons large in spider. Cons large in spider. Sounds like me describing a tarantula in my home. I skipped through the, no prose to that. That was the biggest cons about the tarantula in my home. You're at one? No, no, I think that was pretty good, man. You win again,

dick. This is my favorite thing we do. Let me go to the news. Oh, no. So, wait. Brazilian police have denied reports that bodies were discovered in the Amazon belonging to a journalist and an indigenous expert. If you want to deny an Amazon search, you should probably delete your search history first from the website because it's right there. It's very easily accessible. It's one of the

most popular websites in the world. Hard to deny if it's right there. So don't deny that. Weapons, explosives. Wait a minute, I got one. Amazon is the longest river. It's the shortest river. It's River Phoenix is River Phoenix.

Phoenix. He's five, eight, six feet under. Under. That's right. He's negative six feet tall. Yes. He's the shortest. He's the shortest river.

Not the other rivers that are in contention for shortest river. Certainly. Yeah. Not the Amazon. They're merely creeks. Tributary. That's right. This is good. Yeah, it's good. I think it's a good brainstorming.

Should we do Mount Rushmore's shortest rivers? Yeah, it's got to be. Weapons and explosive found in Michigan home after bomb blast. What do you think? Pretty bad. Par for the course for detroit

that one might be on snl i actually wrote one one dead one critically hurt in shooting between family members outside atlanta hospital knowing those dumb motherfuckers in atlanta they probably were waiting for an ambulance and then he bled out. He got shot outside of a hospital. Probably waiting for an ambulance to arrive. That's how he died.

Do you have these written or are you just reading headlines? I'm reading the headlines. Gasoline glitch. California station sells gas for 69 cents per gallon. The joke writes itself in here. I have one I didn't say if you want to read the top one. The Rolling Stones had to postpone some shows because Mick Jagger has COVID.

I wonder how he found out. Maybe he couldn't taste the brown sugar. He could no longer taste black pussy. You have a few. What is it? Which one? What is the Pentagon one? Oh, yeah, read that one too.

The Pentagon has ended the long-standing restrictions on service members with HIV. Looks like the spy who shagged me can be rebooted as a horror now. That's a good one, Kyle. Fuck, I want to play too. You had all week. A group of men disrupted a drag queen storytelling.

You just can't do it off the top. A group of men disrupted a drag queen storytelling at San Lorenzo Library by shouting homophobic slurs. Maybe they should have whispered them. Got the point across better.

It is a library. That's right. It really drove home the point that what they were trying to make. It would a library. Yeah. That's right. It really drove home the point that what they were trying to make, it would have been more efficient. I'd argue whispering that to somebody is way more offensive. They just want you to hear it. People should start, yeah, if you

have to say it, you should whisper. You should whisper. Use your inside voice. What's up, Nick? You wearing any band t-shirts of rapists? Wait, Owen has some. Yeah, you are. Have we discussed this in any format? No, no, no.

Let's talk about the t-shirt. Alright. Monday. Let's set some history. I like music. I like bands specifically. You said last episode you like band t-shirts. Yeah, I did.

And I have bought an influx of them. And, uh, I bought one of a band dance, Gavin dance band. I've liked. And you had no, like,

maybe you didn't have any like hint that they could be rapists. They had to throw a guy out once, but they, they took the action and they threw him out this is what the history of all rock vocalists are that rock yeah okay so you wore the shirt on monday wore the shirt on monday uh he was accused of uh some things with some or third it was thursday yeah that's right yeah Yeah. And he was accused. So I wore it on Thursday. And you were in a lot of content that's publicized. I was in the Yak, the Rundown, a lot of stuff.

And he was then accused of doing some things to some people or person. It's, you know, I haven't delved too deep. Wednesday, the day before before so that's a pretty bad look on my part so the next day you were there you support it there and i got like a dm many many views a lot of eyes on that shirt a lot of eyes on the shirt and i got a dm that was a lot of nicky clickies want to know what you're wearing what your interests are i got a dm it's just like weird hill to die on i'm like what are you what you didn't get enough shit for that i got a lot of shit i was searching no one gave you enough shit i got dms

you should you should have been canceled i got one my dad used to tell me that the most important day of the year to wear your yankees hat was the day after they got eliminated so in that same sense after your hero i like the band that's not the um that's what you're doing not the singer i don't support the singer but's what you're doing. Not the singer. I don't support the singer, but I got a lot of shit and I almost wore another band shirt the next day, but I didn't want to roll the dice. Pop punk music. Yeah, it's all.

It's a roll. Dance Gavin dances in pop. What are they? Rock? Yeah. Sounds like math. Rock sounds like. Pedo rock.

Pedo pump. No way. That look at the name. Dance Gavin dance. That's an awful name that's like what that vine guy was doing to that little five-year-old oh he's making gavin yeah get bit by a lizard i have no like moral hiccups with that but it is it's whack to like make a five-year-old famous oh yeah there's a new guy on tiktok that's making his daughter famous like just they have a

podcast together oh i've seen that yeah he's like the surfer yes he's a surfer guy but their audio is better than anything barstool's ever done ever um i got one it was a really really awful unhinged dm trying to find it uh i've been getting those two tough times to be a dance Gavin I don't follow him that closely to where I knew that it was just bad luck and it also sucked it was the first time I ever wore the shirt so it did look like I was making a statement

like I saw what happened and I went out and bought it overnight shipping overnight shipping paid extra it was bad and i got one that was just like oh where is it here like sorry there's like a lot of a lot of dms to go through guys acting asking for my pokemon go trainer code that's on the subreddit it leaked my fucking trainer code leaked um it doesn't matter but they were saying that i

that i was getting a lot of shit yeah but you wanted me to get more shit yes it's too late now it's the windows it's not the windows already passed the windows already far far past but speaking of getting called out you got called out And I don't think you know it. How's it come? Why? Where? Well, first of all, let me read this ad for Felix Gray.

While I pull it up, why don't you... Well, it's already pulled up. Kyle, you and I love Felix Gray. You had that phase where you were wearing them constantly. I just ordered another pair. Yeah?

I lost mine that they sent, but I'm willing to pay for those. Yeah, exactly. And you didn't even use our promo code, S-T-O-R-Y. I didn't. I didn't. Story. I'm going to say that.

These guys should, the viewer. They make prescription, non-prescription glasses. They filter out 15 times more blue light. You got some, did you get tortoiseshell this time? What pattern? You don't know what tortoiseshell is? Green. No.

It's like the brown with the speckle. Yeah, that's what I got. Yeah, I figured. And it's helped you out a lot uh stylistically um you don't sacrifice style for function check them out at felixgrayglasses.com story f-e-l-i-x-g-r-a-y glasses d-o-t-com s-t-o-r-y free shipping free returns love them over there you got called out you can't you can't call someone four eyes for wearing those no you can't you can't you know what else has four eyes i'm probably going to do a word that has four eyes but go ahead civilization availabilities those are two

good things availabilities and civilization. Yeah, that is good. What did I get called out for? The ref called you out. The ref that you said you don't like on ref. The umpire. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He called me. He made a tick tock saying

Barstool Sports calling me out or keep my name out your mouth or something. Oh, you suck, dude. You're an umpire who's trying to put braggadocious videos of how fast you throw the ball

back to the 10 yearyear-old pitcher. That's your thing. It's... Dude. Yeah, I got a DM. I got to find it. But yes, he called you out on TikTok. On a TikTok?

On a TikTok. On his page. Let's see here. Kyle's reacting to this for the very first time. But I've gotten a lot of DMs because you guys were like, you sound like you're overreacting. Everyone hates my response.

I don't like watching myself in any way. You know what's going on, y'all? I want to say, Barstools, thank y'all for... Don't take this route, pussy. ...thinking of me as a legend. I never thought of myself as a legend. A lot of people say... It's always... It sucks to have someone do that and he bodied you no he didn't he

awkward no bodies you just thanked me for calling you a loser you don't actually feel grateful you're upset so i saw vice versa come back at me it's fine i don't have anything against you i think you're doing what you're doing is very whack but there's people on tiktok that are doing much whacker things this might be a not much whacker but this might be a kyle centric episode because i have a few things i have a lot of your funeral slideshows as well you can react to if you want to see those i mean oh you last episode we asked about people making you funeral slideshows we can pull those up if the internet works not like any like funeral-esque pictures of on the Internet or anywhere. So they sent me some. I got like six.

Two of them are to headstrong by trapped as it should be. No mutual followers. It's two people that have headstrong. That's fine. Yeah. So I guess that's the vibe you put off. And then we can get to that. You've had a ton of trouble sleeping lately.

Horrible. You've been no one cares you're on the press people do care people do care because there was a thread on our subreddit i haven't i've i have not checked i've there was a thread on the yak subreddit yeah i haven't looked and they were like how the fuck has this moron not thought of jerking off before bed that's yeah that's their option everybody's i saw so many people i got dms are like tell kai he's got a beat off i'm like i'm not doing that that doesn't do anything sometimes it like makes you a little more tired it like makes you feel like relaxed and relieved but i don't even know every time i do it i don't know problem it was ever since i started we started traveling a lot

it was like a it was we weren't we wouldn't travel and stay at the same hotel for a week straight it would be a different hotel every day. It takes a toll. I don't know if that did it or the drug usage. I don't know. It could be either or, man. No, you're right. It could be.

It's been awful. It could be sleeping in a much larger, nicer, well-made bed with cleaner sheets after an exhausting day of work. That could be it. Or it could be ing ingesting drugs it could be either of the two yeah so i've been doing one of those things and i'm sleeping okay no no it could be it could be either of those things dude that's not it's not drugs what are you doing i'm fucking sweating because i'm withdrawing i'm finally sleeping

that's all it is Because I'm withdrawing. I'm finally sleeping. That's all it is. So I was like, put your phone in another room while you sleep. I was like, okay. Or I could just stop doing amphetamines right before bed. Are you on the precipice of a meltdown? No, no. I was yesterday. When you're sleep deprived, it truly does suck.

And I don't deserve any sympathy for it. But there is a one good part is after a while, it's your sleep deprivation and your delirium adopts a euphoric. It's a third gear. We talked about third gear. Did we? In private. Okay. we have conversations like obtaining to our own like personal lives yeah well i do with you guys all the time yeah for sure yeah yeah

i just i sleep well tell them about it you just say i'm in the cadence of like a snl segment so we don't know if you're genuine or not that it's a curse that's the way i speak i can't tell if you're being serious or not. I'm breaking up with you. So I don't think we should see each other anymore. Ever again. Okay, weird brain. Oh my God. No, you're going to be, you good now?

Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I got it. I got five hours. That's enough. No, I'm good. It's not anxiety be, you good now? Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I got it. I got five hours. That's enough. No, I'm good. It's not anxiety related, which is good.

My anxiety reverse skyrocketed over the past few months. I had a panic attack last night. I'm sure there's a word for reverse skyrocket. No, there's not. You know what it was? And I'm, I've been embarrassed to admit this,

but it was starting the Sopranos. I started wanting to be like one of the characters on, this is pathetic but you didn't want to be one of them you just wanted to be i was an original character i never really watched shows and i started watching them and david chase is so good at writing the show that like and james ganolfini is so good at acting that i truly believe tony soprano was a a real person during the 50 minutes in which I was watching it. And I was like, I when he was like, I just wanted to adopt his mannerism. And you're watching it on your tiny ass phone, too. And it worked.

I started stepping out more confidently in public. Started like I stopped doing those little quirky cowers that you do to people in line or what to service workers. I stopped cowering to people to service workers you know like you do it like oh i'm sorry you apologize for just something you don't even do that's wrong yeah it was it was the sopranos really i want it to be like them and do you think it's true really yeah i was expecting you to make fun of me no no i'm always shocked like when helter skelter drove uh drove uh what's his name uh chapman to kill john lennon i was like how could that affect somebody in that way but i guess in the worst part is like the characters were written to be like glorified losers with extreme flaws yeah and i still want it to be just like them sans like the the mafia shit right so that helped stopping watching it helped or watching it watching it helped yeah yeah

yeah so try it so it's you liked the sopranos without the mafia stuff so therapy no i hated the therapy scene i just wanted to see the characters interact with each other like boys, like when they were at the restaurant or the strip club. Okay. I just wanted to hear them talk. Yeah. Help me a lot. Fucking therapy. Okay.

No, that's good to know. That's why I'll never go to therapy. I'll tell that story and then I'll get that response. And then I'll, what response? I gave you a good response. You should have either really made fun of me or really. I'm trying to,

I'm trying to sit, sit down and listen, man. Okay. I'm sorry. Well, what's been your tactics? Cause you have to have struggled mightily in the past.

Yeah. Yeah. No, I just, uh, I'm more of a, I, I, I result to being a hermit and, uh, I've done about four times in my life and I was, uh, I was tiptoeing the line

as of late. You told me there was a point pretty recently where you were in Columbus and you, you wouldn't even, you would put, you would hang up towels on your bathroom mirrors. Oh, I told you that in confidence. Yeah. Yeah. You would hang up towels on your bathroom mirrors. Oh, I told you that in confidence. Yeah. Yeah. Are you laughing at that?

No. That's the darkest place I've ever been. I never resorted to towels, to veiling the actual mirror, but I would just refuse to like, I would do it with the lights off or brush my teeth. Brush in the shower. Sometimes you just don't want any reminder of you. Yeah. And you're always stuck in a reminder of being you. Always.

Oh, yeah. You can always look and down and see your fucking hands um which sucks you know that's always my hands are a constant reminder to me of me um but if it weren't for that i'd be cool i'd be chilling okay yeah no i lived when i was in like my last year of columbus i didn't have like you, but I also didn't have phone service in my apartment. And it was it was a shitty apartment. And I was going to bed like every day, like as soon as I got home from work, which I left early from. Yes, I was chilling. That one was your valley. My valley rock. Oh, bottom. It's going to be one of those episodes yeah uh probably yeah taking a few years let's go to the news app and like alcohol probably that yeah uh news app you want to do what was the worst part was it did you like what was the worst part of that um after you quit

were you suffering like the immediate week like the first week yeah i would say because that's like physical when i was at my peak drinking um yeah that's the first week was especially after like a bender what was your drinking probably uh 2019 like uh you weren't here yeah when i was early into barstool and i was like riddled with anxiety like terrified of everything and then i started being on the yak and i just started just blacking out all the time no your mom said i saved your life she told me that what do you mean i'm not i'm not claiming anything saved my life no your mom said i did i was killing my no i was trying to you just fucking slowed down the not so fast it's not true i wasn't blacking out all the time but i was trying to you just fucking slowed down the not so fast it's not true i wasn't blacking out

all the time but i was drinking too much and not doing anything healthy you'd wake up with like a film of sweat on your whole body not like you're hot sweat yeah no it's just like you can tell it's bad it's bad it's the bad guy yeah it's like i'm cold anyways tell a joke bad it's bad it's the bad guy yeah it's like i'm cold anyways tell a joke see what i have on notes app any jokes in the notes app all it takes is one horny night to completely change my tiktok algorithm not a joke i was just i was just thinking that wait wait yeah do you get i don't get girls on my tiktok my shit was things i liked like people explaining geography and now it's titties and i had one hoarding night where they know like if

you spend extra time on one like titty video then all you get and then you just keeps feeding them like all right more more more more more and you like go to their page and they know when you like spend time on their page so that's all i get now and it sucks so wait pull up it's just girls with it's girls with big tits and ass and they're just doing nothing in particular and that's all i need that's all you need it they don't do it the worst is when they try to do something either do nothing at all don't try don't you prefer it to be a photo at least learn the choreography a lot of them are just like doing half dances that's the gayest thing you've ever said ever learn the choreography if you're going to be a titty poster on tiktok and do dances at least learn the choreography for what you're doing don't half

ass a dance okay just stand there and show your tits if you're going to do anything does it does it turn you off i'm sure guys are worse does it turn you off yeah when they do the dances horribly it didn't it's yeah whatever uh i just took a picture picture of chase crawford and i'm trying to ironically post it but my you just asked him for a picture oh yeah the boys is awesome what else is he in gossip girl what what does he look like uh he's what are you gonna do with the picture well so when i took a picture with neve i wanted to post it but i wanted i had to do it ironically so i did the friendship ended with kb neve is now my best friend i'm just gonna do the same fucking thing people will fall for it hook line what do you mean fall for it kyle not everything's a ruse

no people just take everything literally they'll think like oh nick is actually best friends with chase crawford yes it's believable no it's not it kind of is no it's not believe that you fucked katherine heigl and i hated it yeah that that was the pit most pissed you've ever been at me i was like kyle what you didn't talk to me for like four days i was like what's matt what's the matter and you were like people people just are asking me about you and fucking they were they thought you were fucking k, Katherine Heigl. Which is me. Which is probably realistic. It's not realistic at all. Once you realize your worth,

you would, yes, you'd be a danger. That's what I wish you would do. You think I could I've been slowly trying to pepper in me being really attracted to you. I started two weeks. Did you notice?

I've noticed a handful. Once every three days, I'll pepper in a comment how sexy you are. With the ASMR? You didn't remember that? That was true. That's what I'm saying. Making my work easy.

Do the Game Time ad for me so I can uh upload this photo funny thing about chase he spells it c-h-a-c-e that's that's the funny thing about him it's actually the scary thing his name isn't a verb um it's a ticketing app that makes it easier we already know what it is so i'll skip all the talking points you're right the best ads no words exactly at all yeah it's like it's like mom and pop shops and like family-owned businesses that don't have to advertise because everyone word of mouth they know how good it is it's like a cheddar's casual but yeah all right um just point it is

a ticketing i'm gonna put the overlay on the screen yeah it's a ticketing app to it it does it oh what about the listeners, though? It is a ticketing app, and it's very good. You can use it to go. Fuck yeah, dude. You're crushing it right now. What do you want me to say? You want me to use like a synonym for good? Yeah.

It's an excellent ticketing app. I think you just try to use a synonym for synonym in that first sentence. I said thesaurus. Thesaurus eyes. You were going to say thesaurus eyes. I was. No, this app is like, I feel like we're scamming them. Maybe because we work there and they give us free stuff.

And it'll be different for you, but they crack the code on how to score deals on last minute tickets. If you're in a pinch and you want to go to the concert in 10 minutes, you can make that happen with game time. What's the best and you want to go to the concert in 10 minutes, you can make that happen with game time. What's the best concert you've ever been to? Mine was probably Third Eye Blind the weekend. What about you? My first concert ever, 98 Degrees.

Was your best? Oh, yeah. Because you were young. It was my first. They came out of the ground in like hyperbolic tubes. That is cool, yeah. And I had NI on one cheek and CK on the other. What was the one you put in? It was for Lachey, not myself. I had NI on one cheek and CK on the other. What was the one you pretended to have?

It was for Lachey, not myself. I wasn't going as a Nick head. I was a literal Nick head, but for Lachey. Yeah. And I had a bucket hat on that also said Nick. I was double Nicked up. I was gay. I was a gay boy.

We know. We know. What was your best concert or favorite? The one where you pretended to have Down syndrome? Yeah, it could be the Sammy Adams concert. I pretended to have Down syndrome to get back into. What was that? I got kicked out for being too drunk,

but I flipped it back on them by pretending to have Down syndrome and claiming not to be drunk at all. And it worked. If you can pull that off. Alright, yeah. Yeah, this is all part of

game time. He just walked out of the event and then he put his shirt on backwards and then just walked right back in. Oh, this dude has Down syndrome. Put his shirt on backwards. My buddy Marcus Black. Misconception. They can dress themselves fine. My buddy Marcus Black went to a wedding reception

and he wore a polo shirt. Should I finish the game? They already know what it is. Give them the promo code. Download the Game Time app. Go to the account tab. It's up in the corner.

Create a login. And then you can easily redeem your code. Use the code UNTOLD, that's capital U-N-T-O-L-D, for $20 off your first purchase. Download GameTime. Last minute tickets. Lowest price guaranteed. Fantastic deal. The best deal.

It honestly is. It is. And the Ticketmaster and those other ones are scamming people. Yeah, I don't get how they get away with that. Got a monopoly on it. I don't know what Game Time's doing. They may be there. Some type of scheme.

What? Either way, you might as well. Kyle, they're paying us. Why not be a part of it? They're the last ad we have. In a good way, dude. No, you can't. In a fucking good way.

I want to, one time, I'll never forget this. You just, you have to self-sabotage. I'll never forget this moment. Things are finally going good for us. I'll never forget this moment. We're finally getting some respect in the podcast community. It was the Sheetz in Kent, Ohio. There's two, the one by Holly Park.

The ATM malfunction, it was just spit it whatever you said it would spit out 20 like so many 20s we all just got a bunch of money and um went on went along with our days the the staffers that she didn't care and that was that that's that's a scheme that was good okay well somebody loses in the end if something good happens to somebody it's kind of like full metal alchemist it's like alchemy kyle there can't be good without bad there can't be creation without destruction all right i knew that would shut you up uh yeah can we just be quiet for a second i need to upload this picture of me and chase being dead serious onto what flicker

yeah dude okay what was flicker flicker it was a photo it was just a standard photo sharing website that

took a dark turn at least for me how did it take a dark turn the wrestling community took it over and we would use it to trade and sell wrestling gear.

Didn't you buy a Scooby-Doo? That was mine. I sold it on Flickr. You sold your Scooby-Doo wrestling? It was a grand system. Everyone followed the honor system. No one got scammed. Wrestlers don't have the ability to scam.

I don't know what that means. They're dumb. Yeah. Now, Flickr. Oh, wait. How did it take a dark turn? I don't know. that means. They're dumb. Yeah. No. Oh, wait. How did it take a dark turn? I don't know. I just said that.

All right. I need to pee. I got to shit. Go shit. Take a little break. I don't. The other day, I opt on Photoshop, and I forgot how to fucking use it. And I'm getting old. Like, I can how to fucking use it. I'm getting old.

I can't learn new technology anymore. It's getting bad. You've given up? Television. You can't use televisions? I can't turn on. They are so ridiculous. You can't turn on.

Wait a minute. Roll. What do you mean you can't turn on TV? You can't turn on televisions? Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Roll. Roll. Roll. What do you mean you can't turn on TV? You can't turn on televisions? What? Are we back on? Yes.

I. No, I gave up trying. You can't use TVs somewhere. I don't know. In the mid aughts late aughts they televisions took a dark turn then they fucking because i didn't have i never had one throughout oh it did i never had my own i'd use my roommates everyone has like three remotes that's not anymore now it's like one

time now it's and you have to figure out which remote oh it's not that one it's a smaller one you have to push the top right button and then hold it down and then configure uh you have to also configure the other button you're right and then you turn it on and it's all like static and you're like how do i get to the tv guide and then you have to oh you have to use the other button to get to the tv guide is that that's how it was for a while when i was growing up when i was growing up you just hit one button it's not like that anymore now it's just like a smart tv what are you doing man i don't use televisions because it's they're so fucking hard to turn on it's one little remote and it's just so intuitive now just get it's they're all smart tvs well

that's not everyone my parents still have the old one with two remotes that you have to figure out which one to get the smaller the bigger and then what button to configure and what button to press i don't fucking care is that why you're afraid to start i don't from your phone and i you know what fuck you guys for guilting me to get a new phone your phone was dying no i didn't plus it this this phone is still always dying it's always dying it died on my because you don't it died on my flight to pittsburgh because you don't charge it died when i was at the wedding um and it's too big my hand's too small for it my hand always cramps up and i can't i can't like use my thumb to press top buttons at the top of the screen so i have to use both hands so when

i'm holding a rail on the subway and filling out a crossword so that the girl next to me can see me. I always try to get seen. Yeah, but I can't use one finger. So now I have to like try to balance. Get a pop socket.

Yeah, fuck it. Get a pop socket. Fuck it. Yeah, yeah. Try mine. Try to hold it. I don't, I don't like these. You're just holding it

like you typically would without it. I don't, yeah, this is kl holding it like you typically would without it. Yeah, this is klutzy, yeah. It's not klutzy. That's a bad hand feel. They're the best. I can't live without it.

And when I'm watching shows. Nice. Is my hand cramping up because it's too small for the, or am I dehydrated or something? I don't think it's, how do you hold your phone you put your pinky underneath like this and i almost got the mini version and i was checking out with the mini at verizon and then i i was like let me search what is it called what is what call what is the iphone the smallest iphone i don't team call that's the mini the mini i searched it on twitter and like it was all like trashing it so i so you got the zumba i don't team call that's the mini the mini i searched it on twitter and like it was all like trashing it so i so you got the zumba i don't like dude you don't charge your fucking phone just charge it at night in a separate room so you can sleep it wouldn't work i told you

i'm different i'm mobile i'd get to it easily if i wanted it i would get to it like another room isn't stopping me i was like oh i want to go look at when you're in bed you don't want to get out of i want to go browse that's why i'm trying to figure out are you browsing before i'm trying to figure out the most remote uh city in west virginia it is what i think it's elkins really i've been well elkins is two and a half hours from the nearest city with 100,000 or more. It's like an hour and a half to the nearest city with 20,000 or more, which is probably... That's how I'm going

off remoteness. That's fair. I'm sure they have like Walmarts and Starbucks. Doesn't matter. That's not very remote then. If you're on a remote island and they have a Starbucks... All you got on your mind is just remotes. Yeah, dude. Oh, is remotes bigger than this remote? I'm worried about the wrong remotes.

It's a good meme. Start that up. This dude is worried. You're talking about smart TVs living in Elkins? Dude's worried about the wrong remote. I could be wrong. That was just the... I didn't finish the research.

If someone else wants to do that for me... You gave him a great launching point. I'm going off of how far you are from the nearest cities with a semi-significant amount of people. Okay. That's fair. And if you can find one in a different state... You are so bad when it comes to technology.

You are too. You can't even figure out the new Photoshop layout. You probably get... I'm working on it right now. I'm crushing. But it is... No, I couldn't... I i tried to photoshop that pokey reese thing and i just gave up i'm kind of shook at that umpire i feel he bodied you he didn't body it was sad no it wasn't do you want to just are you trying to start beef with this dude no i just don't that was just feel kind of bad um how long we've been rolling for i went two three hours

45 yeah boys we're getting good at this podcast shit incredible you just watch the tape of this podcast and realize we're getting really good at it from start to finish it's been good it's been good well the thing is like we've been what the what's been separating us is uh we've been taking time to like pre-write segments uh or just read headlines off how did that work yeah why don't you read your best one i already i've read them all i think i read them all sorry man oh you have some yeah you want to help me with mine oh here's one yeah let's actually let's use it as a workshop. Yeah, here. Give the people a peek. Texas pastor says gay people should be shot in the back of the, oh my God.

Yeah. Shot in the back of the head in a shocking sermon. If you think this guy is mad now, just wait until he learns about the church. Fucked in the back of the ass what part of the ass did he fuck you the back I guess the back I don't know dude I ass fucked this chick I fucked the front of her ass

oh her pussy hell yeah what are yours 101 year old Dutch woman was reunited with her painting originally looted by nazis i am amazed she said i've wanted this for so long i will cherish this every day for as long as i fuck honestly yeah they should have just given it to a museum like yeah cherish it every day you don't

you can't cherish a painting every day i don't know if you're that age what what do you have you wake up and you cherish your paintings i mean i'm being serious like what else are you gonna do yeah you start them i would like just gawk at something and then you cherish paintings yes oh dude until your nighttime cream of oh my god when we did that cereal bracket or the cereal thing on the brandon walker show barstool main had the audacity to tweet it that's the only time they promo us when we're on brandon show they know well they know what it would cause yes and people were up in arms and it's like that's the thing we make fun of the most is having super opinionated takes on cereal yeah and we were we were just, we were just tearing this.

We were just saying shit. We started just, I haven't had cereal. I've had like five cereals total in my life. None in the past 10 years. I was just saying shit. I said that the fruity pebbles is the equivalent of the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

Yeah. And people were like, Oh, that's fine. That actually makes sense. He's preaching. People were seething because we ranked like a fruity how we ranked fruity children's that's right but there was one dude up in arms he was like

where the fuck is dino crunch i'm like what the fuck are you talking about where's dino cookie crisp like yeah we were called racist this one dude was like uh the whitest shit ever there was one mean cereal on their. Gorilla munch. And this dude's like, no way. Gorilla munch is better than cookie crisp. And it was like, fuck dude.

Go check your like gas pipe. Yeah, dude, go check your fucking gas pipe. People were so up in arms. And then like, there were some cereals not on there. Like,

uh, O's honey O's. And there was just, those guys came out of the woodwork. Really? Yeah. Like there were some cereals not on there like O's, honey O's. And there was just those guys came out of the woodwork. Really? Yeah. God damn. Yeah.

But yeah, I guess if you want, if we want to clip something, just like have a take on something that's like. That's all you need. Yeah. Like when you're eating a PB and J. We definitely figured that out a while ago. When you're eating a PB and J, do you want, a while ago. When you're eating a PB and J, do you want your, does your sandwich have the jelly or the peanut butter on top?

It's gotta be jelly. 350 replies, all negative. You can never, you can never be right. And it's so awesome. I love it. It's that you crack the code on interaction.

Actually, I had a typo on our pokey Reese tweet and, uh, the first word wishing. And I said, wising's like wising huh that's a key to interaction if you have a just fuck it up tweet out an opinionated take with a typo youtubers figure that out early on if you like mispronounce a word you it drives the engagement oh yeah yeah oh yeah a lot of poketubers do that intentionally oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i think hundreds line the streets for the first ever athens pride parade the georgian city is embracing a cornerstone of its grecian namesakes culture but fucking men. That is like a cornerstone of their culture. It really was.

Oh, this is Athens, Georgia? Yes. Athens, Georgia. Justin, yeah, go. No, no, no, I didn't know Athens, Georgia had a large gay community. This was their first ever. Oh, okay. Some places are sneaky, sneaky gay.

Like, if you look up gayest places... Yeah, you tell me i'm interested it's all the way it actually almost traces uh everywhere what's a sneaky gay city albuquerque i can see that i'm thinking of like from like a conservative state okay oh no there's a country. Onway, Arkansas. So Fort Lauderdale is number one. Berlin, Germany. Amsterdam. Wait, Fort Lauderdale?

Fort Lauderdale. I wouldn't say. I would say. Number one. Very conservative. San Francisco, four. Fort Lauderdale. Brighton.

What? Madrid, Spain. I'm trying. There's one. Oh, Tel Aviv. Really? Yes. Very, very, very gay.

And very gay friendly. Huh. Huh. Yeah, I didn't think Tel Aviv would be one. Neither would I. New York's 11 on this list. Boys, we gotta do nothing about that. What's number one? Fort Lauderdale was number one.

No, it's not. Yeah, that's shocking to me. What is the metrics? Step aside, San Fran and New York. There's a new queen in town. There's over 100 LGBTQ themed establishments. Do you think they hate their lives? I'd like to meet the editor of this.

So Albuquerque is the new queen of gay town? No, Fort Lauderdale is the new queen. They have a gay mayor? College Kid USA? Yeah. Which I guess is gay. Can't. It's the new queen. Isn't it like... They have a gay mayor, Dean. College Kid USA? Yeah. Which I guess is gay. Can't get enough of the beautiful beach, golden sands, sporty tournaments, and flamboyant sunbathers. Sporty tournaments?

Sebastian Street Beach. That's a tough one for people with listens. Did they say tournaments or tournaments? Because tournaments is the gay way to say it. Tournaments. Yeah, it's gay. Why? It didn't say tournaments?

You want to say torn-a-men? Bro. Bro. Bro. And the pod. I'm pissed. Wait, you... Oh, no. I'm rolling in 4K, Kyle. Oh, when he got caught! I...

It sucks that we were matching this whole episode. It's a lot different when we're just on the yak and there's some beef to break it up. Yeah. Let's buy these because these are actually really cool. Let's get some more of these. Yeah. Justin Bieber announced he was diagnosed with Ramsey Hunt Syndrome.

And pessimists noticed half of his face was paralyzed. Oh, that's the best one of the day. That's actually very good. You wasted that at the wrong... That's the best one of the day. People exited out after Nick's Poketuber talk.

No one's going to hear that. That's the best one of the day. Add that to the fun. Dubbed Owen today. Goddamn. That's your reply to what I'm going to say. No, you're just going to say,

no, that's a new one. That's a story. Hey, is that story old or told? What? No, baby. That's a new one told story. A new untold story. A new untold story. It's a fresh, big untold story.

A new untold story.