A New Untold Story - A New Untold Story: Ep. 302 - The Roast of Will Compton

Episode Date: July 28, 2022

A New Untold Story: Ep. 302 - The Roast of Will Compton -- Enjoy a divine riff from Nick, Kyle, & Will Compton: live from the bus in Nashville, TN. -- The boys discuss many, many things -- Full episode also available on YouTube!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, A New Untold Story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad-free on Amazon Music. untold story. A new untold story. It's a fresh, big untold story. A new untold story. No shampoo? No, it's more like go a couple days in a row without showering. That's another talking point I have because I don't know what's happened to me. Are we recording?

We are live. Oh, hell yeah. Have we been? I've just started. No, not a big deal. We didn't say anything in note. What episode number are we on? 302?

300 episodes you guys have done? We started on episode 212. We thought that was a good launching point. I don't think so. I don't like this. I feel like this societal pressure to start at one.

We start at when? 212. I'm going to say I'm fucking honored to be on this show this is going to take a major hit to everything you've built thanks for tolerating our invitation yeah because we invited Kyle and myself here

and we you said you texted him like see you tomorrow man and he said what so first of all I DM'd him because I didn't even have his number Fasoli was texting JP your guy. Which is a bad look on us because we're teammates. We're huge teammates.

Yeah, yes. We love each other to death. I've had your number for a minute, literally. I've had your number for 60 seconds. But no, I was very embarrassed yesterday, and I had horrible service out in the woods because I was trying to be really cool. And I DM'd Will. I said, see you tomorrow.

Purple devil emoji. That's not cool at all. Enter, enter, enter. Three spaces. Rest up, period. He sent that to you? He sent that. And you just said a question mark?

No, no, no. He said, what you mean, LOL. Oh. I know. I wanted to. We shouldn't be here. We don't have better. Do we have better health as a

sponsor today no no no i wanted to kill myself listen listen listen so what confused me too is i saw that you guys are going to be in in tennessee because i i think i saw sydney or one of you guys we don't we don't post and so i was like are you guys going to be in nashville yeah and she's like no we're going to be out and wherever you guys were was like two hours away so how long are you guys here and she was like until wednesday so really all i had was like yesterday i was like okay i'm not gonna make it out so then when you messaged me and said see you tomorrow with the devil face and then rest up purple devil face i personally got excited because i'm like am i gonna get to see the boys no that's why i said what do you mean because i

had no clue whenever you said jp that they'd been talking i took it as okay i'm gonna have to discipline jp now because he didn't tell me this good news yeah yeah you're gonna have to and actually before you got here he was a tremendous dickhead to all of us i believe he did not outwardly an asshole he was just rude yeah also please explain because general demeanor energy um you know i think he assumed kyle was gay and we thought he was he called him yeah yeah did he say hey it's not june anymore you're not allowed in here he said oh i bet you that bus looks long to you um yeah that's been a theme all week so we've been doing outdoors stuff and when you know like when you go to the country and then like you're not an outdoors guy and they treat you like you are a a gay person no no no no that and

that yeah like us holding guns like they were just i've lived in i've lived in new york for two years and i lived in west virginia my whole life before that and then they but they treated me like i've never stepped outside but you probably know the right like sentences to say to let everybody know, like you're part of them. I played it up and I think it's cause I work, I'm like, I wear glasses and I'm like frail. It's just like, they don't, they're ready to bully. Yeah. And you have like a build, like, okay, we're going to bully this kid. Yeah.

Like we were shooting ARs and I was hitting giant targets with them, just giant targets. They're like, Oh my God. I was like, are you kidding me? Like, yeah. I mean, honestly, some of the dorkiest guys use ARs. Yeah. Yeah. I rolled out of the table when I was like,

you have a profile. I look like the guy that paralyzed Drake. He looked exactly like him when he came out of the shower professionally. Like for the wet wheel. Yeah didn't i've never seen him come out of his home shower you haven't he looked just like the the boy who killed drake or killed jimmy yeah but they can kill him put him in a wheelchair yeah shot on him so we start every

episode i guess we already we're pretty much in the episode now but how's your how's your little one oh god she's just uh you talking about cerulean little cerulean bell kb has his master's pretty much in the episode now. How's your little one? Oh, God. She's a stud. You talking about Cerulean? Little Cerulean Belle? KB has his master's in early childhood development. Yeah. Yeah. Give her a little eval.

An eval on what? I would just test her skills. What skills are we going to need? If she needs additional work. Like, what would you start off? She's about to be four months old. And I take you to KB's about to be four months old and i take you and i take her to kb's buffet style child development yeah what what's the assessment you're taking every time i meet like we're we're tight but like we don't know much about each other every time

he gets past that threshold of not strangers anymore he asks to eval a child oh yeah and it burns every bridge we've ever had parents never like that because it assumes something that is wrong with the baby's itching to diagnose eval all types of kids well i was at the typical typical yeah but my thing is i did that for a living but i couldn't manipulate i couldn't hold babies told babies what's the phobia of holding babies hold babies i can't pick them up i can't play with them so why did you go into that career path only let me do like the kids who are like 20 months and up because i can do the toddlers i just can't wait if you're afraid of

like holding babies you you spent seven years in school i am autistic and i'm afraid of babies and my two jobs are talking and handling babies. And diagnosing autism, which is the ultimate pot meat kettle. I know, they just let me do it. It's so easy to get a job in like the most important fields in the world and just not know what you're doing. So what is the first thing that you would do in this? Again, I'm walking in. We bring a kid of toys a pamphlet put them on the floor you think kind of your little girl on the floor and we would do different four months is we would just test her like mobility see if she can flexibility a range of

motion yeah little they have all the range of motion yeah let's see if they get her all over me see what she does she's got very good like back strength she can hit the superman oh it's very well time is very important we're trying to get her to kind of like roll over we can grab toys and kind of like you know what i mean you guys put in front of her and she can kind of reach for it now you guys are under the sports podcast genre right yeah we're under parenting yeah no you're, you're not. We're top 100. We're top 100 in parenting. Not bad.

Not bad for guys that don't know what it is. Are you actually in that genre? No, we're under improv, which is like, we don't even chart on that. And there's like 12. We hit number two. We hit number two in the UK once. So the lads are, that means one person listened over there, I think. You hacked the algorithm.

There's something to celebrate about. You hit number one on sports. That's what I'm saying. All I'm saying is if you get on those charts, it's a reason to celebrate. You know it's going to be short-lived. We don't touch, pardon my take,

we don't probably touch spitting chiclets like because we're still like i guess growing i heard there was a metaphorical uh torch passing though yeah but you know how those boys are like they uh pft and big cat awesome dudes love them they're one they're all we're all on the boys team but they're some of the very flawed yes they are very smart at their craft they they're playing the long game as they're trying to pass the torch because they're trying to get it to a way where they can kind of a reach around yeah like a reach around yeah kind of bully you a little bit like we're gonna pass the torch we're gonna be condescending about this we're gonna make you still seem like you're inferior even though we're passing the torch i think you know what i'm talking about you guys

are never what is this torch passing? I don't think big cats ever felt threatened by us for a split second. I still don't know. So here's what happened. You guys have sponsors. We lose. We've lost. I think 15 sponsors. Well, they we cost one of our

sponsors was another podcast. They gave us another comedy podcast. It was like, come listen to Smartless podcast. They gave us another comedy podcast as a sponsor. The ad read was like, come listen to Smart List Podcast. It's the funniest podcast where they're ad-free. It was just... We had an ad on our comedy podcast for an ad-free...

That was in the same genre of podcast. That's all they can sell it to. The language of our ad that was printed and given to us was, drop what you're doing right now. Pretty much. And go listen. You can tell the copywriter.

You have the biggest beer in America. We got another comedy podcast. Why are you barreled out? Hang on. Are you not a Cracker Barrel fan? The food is beige. What does that mean? The food is literally everything on the menu is beige.

There's no colors. Yeah. Monochromatic beige. But the breakfast is literally all everything on the menu is beige there's no colors yeah monochromatic beige and the breakfast is solid right the breakfast is good yeah especially you know did you go to college what the fuck yeah you didn't play a sport you didn't go to college that's what it is he thought only athletes go to college like the biggest dorks in the world. I always forget you're dumb as fuck. You're awesome. You're awesome.

That's what makes us different. No, no, that's the thing. You have the personality where I can forget, but every once in a while. Yeah, I went to WVU. Okay, so you went to West Virginia. But you know those weekends when you finish it up and all the boys everybody hits Cracker Barrel like on Sunday or something. No. Yes, I did.

Those are good times. Yeah, you go get dumplings. That's why you're you-need-up. That's why I'm barreled the fuck out. You wouldn't understand. Yeah, it seems like you don't get it. I apologize. The people that aren't listening, that are listening and are watching, barreled the fuck out means I'm head-to-toe in Cracker Barrel merch. They probably assumed.

They have a great merch store. A little merch store. Good Rock Candy. Yes. Racist. They're very racist. And Cracker Barrel clientele, a Cracker Barrel 10 is an ogre. Oh yeah. The ugliest people.

I don't know if it's the lighting, but if you ever walk in somewhere and you're like the most, I'm talking to him. Have you ever walked in where known you were the most kind of hard, like the dynamics sitting on here, but yeah, no, no, no, no. Because like, you're a handsome guy. You've probably been the most handsome person in a lot of places, not the mouth, but it's new now, but this is newer. Yeah. But now you, you can do it. I walking in somewhere and knowing you're the most handsome is a, is unbelievable. Yeah. I worked in special education knowing you're the most handsome is unbelievable. Yeah.

I worked in special education and I still never accomplished that. You were the most handsome person once at the board game. I went to a board game convention. I don't believe that. Yeah. Did you really? I used to go every year. I used to want to be a board game designer.

Designer. What are your board games? What are your top three board games? Ever? You wouldn't know them. I feel like clue fanatics are hot. I promise you wouldn't. Okay, probably not.

Are you saying that and then comfortably sitting up to deliver those? That's the most confident I've ever been in my life. Like, brother. No, you've never heard of these games. Trust me. But we can play if you want. What are the games? My favorite game ever is called Seven Wonders.

Yeah, I've never heard of it. Yeah, yeah. Okay, let's say mainstream. I played it. It was like doing schoolwork. It was like doing textbook schoolwork. There was not a fun part about it. It was doing homework.

I like it. It was like doing a capstone. What's the goal? What's the goal of Seven Wonders? It's a lot of work. You have to build your Seven Wonder. You have to accomplish. It's a victory point based game, Will.

Kind of like Risk? You really know how to piss me off, man. I knew that across the line. Risk is a good game. Fasoli, where do you go? Is he your first person of color to be on the bus? No, we actually

our director of production is Blas Hernandez. Hispanic. Military guy, too, been over in Afghanistan. Oh, okay. They check Caucasian, I think. What's up? They check Caucasian. But they get to say the N-word. Yeah, they do. They all get to just say it. I was in San Antonio. They were just ripping it.

Dude, and when you're a white guy sitting there next to a Hispanic saying the N-word, you're kind of like, what is he saying? You're pretty uncomfortable. Has anybody ever said the N-word on the bus? You guys ever have Morgan Wallen? Maybe. I mean, he's right here. He's right down the street. We invited him on, but he laid low. I guess he was in therapy.

Okay, yeah. Going to N-word rehab, dude. He went to a facility in Clearwater. Six-month one. It's exposure therapy. you just watch quentin tarantino movies hey this is a great podcast by the way yeah yeah don't worry you guys should be way bigger than what you guys are portraying now i don't know if i fully believe you yet but also what you guys budget you guys want to advertise on bust with the' with the Boys? Oh my God. We can sell an ad right now and run an ad of your guys' podcast. I like you too much to ruin. You don't want to be tied to what we do.

I disagree. I promise you, man. Nothing, nothing. All we do is lose sponsors. We lost Felix Gray because of KB. We had them for like 15 minutes. What do you mean by losing sponsors? You probably just say shit that like in the ad that they don't

want you to say. We tell people what they shouldn't say about the company. I think the best ads are ones that they run through the pros and the cons. KB does. They let you do the math. That'll do it.

So what you called Felix Gray? I said, I told the fans to not refer to them as feel dicks gay. They still did. And we lost them. We lost them real quick on everyone. You can't just keep it tight for just, you know, a minute or two. No. Cannot read an ad.

No. We have game time today. Will you do game time? They're not. We make up promo codes. Game time is not a scam. Game time is not a scam. KB made up their tagline, game time, it's not a scam.

Yeah. But that is actually our sponsor today, Kyle. It's not quite a scam. Yeah, no. But I think that now, outside of the sponsorship, though, like, your guys' audience and stuff, I mean, I would assume you guys seem very beloved from what I see. By, like, a very small group of incels. No, Nick.

We were beloved. Mm-hmm. Except the case race. Yeah, my God. That ruined my life. We talked about it. You were the only one that came out unscathed from that. Yeah.

The case race? Yeah. Except the tiny dick thing. I was going to say, what do you mean by that? That made you all the more relatable. Uh-huh. But also, it's tough to come out with that label. You know what I mean?

The tiny dick guy? You came out as the tiny dick guy. I was just too drunk, so. You came in with a vibe about yourself. That wasn't the KB that I recognized. You blacked out during the case race, right? Yes. I made the mistake of blacking out before the case race.

A premature blackout. Why would you pregame that? Because I know everyone of blacking out before the case race. A premature blackout. Why was you pre-game that? Because I know everyone's going to be drunk and having fun. I can't drink beer. I didn't want to be sober and nauseous. So I got down to bottle. A bottle of liquor, right? It wasn't a whole bottle. It was pink

Whitney too. It was probably half a bottle. That's a lot. It's vodka. It's not just a cocktail. It's pretty much a cocktail. That's a lot. It's vodka. It's not just a cocktail. It's pretty much a cocktail. But it's not. I guess I was talking about scholarships and football. That was the first sentence

of the show. And you were a little late. I kind of delivered the soliloquy in the bathroom before and I was like, this is going to kill. It's funny when i get mad and passionate and it didn't whatever it's right out of the gate that's how you were uh trial and error but at least he sobered up your dick hasn't grown has it however however however not that you

know the boys the boys not packing heavy no matter what but you get behind the eight ball when you take adderall yeah yeah i did give willis first Adderall. Yeah. You were on Adderall. We thought it would be a little bit of a PED. And we performed very well. I mean, bro, we lost by 30 seconds. Yeah. Adderall's tough because you're having a blast and you think you're killing it when you're talking, but you're covering topics that no one

gives a fuck about and you're rambling like a madman. I did see that we were watching highlights of like Nebraska games at one point. I don't remember. Dominick and Sue, the Texas game. People would tag and say. During the case race?

Yeah. During the case race. No, no. I thought we went home early. We went home. You just decided to go home. I thought it was over. You forgot we were at work. Yeah, that was tough.

I guess that makes sense. We were drinking. And you took your face paint off, which I do not agree with. I threw up. And I got the cold sweats and it ruined the alien. So I think that makes it even funnier. It's looking back. It's like you want to keep that. I should have kept it because when I smeared it, only the black smeared.

And I was looking like fucking prime minister of Canada on Halloween. Yes. But that was like I was bummed, too, because we didn't I didn't I don't I don't remember anyway doing the trivia. I was excited to do the trivia, the twister at the end. We didn't i didn't i don't i don't remember anyway doing the trivia i was excited to do the trivia the twister at the end we didn't do that did we i don't know i didn't know that shane and steven chay was about to throw down a little bit i didn't know it got serious i did not pick up on that i'm just housing popcorn and i'm like fuck it's one of those things you don't want to watch whether or not people's giving you love or not you just horrifying wake up never watch that it's horrifying the amount of people who watched it but don't watch

anything else we do like it attracted all like the college kids they love that shit yeah and everywhere i would go since then i would get chirped about the case race which is whatever but um one kid was like yeah me and my friends we had our whole we did a case race for your case race and we ended up just turning yours off and just doing our own because it was whack yeah i was that's tough to hear i was at the beach with my family and uh i was like walking down the beach you know just trying to unplug and this dude came up to me he's like nicky case race and then he's walked away i was in the airport and somebody's like hey man i'm listening to the case right now you guys are and then he's walked away I was like fuck did he say anything else? I was in the airport and somebody was like hey man I'm listening to the case right now

you guys are crushing it so I think it's a mixed bag you're just listening to the case where he's at the airport I mean you know so Will on a new Unsold Story we do this segment called the news we usually lead off

the show with it it's like a direct rip off of weekend update from SNL and we write jokes we take the week's headlines and we just read them and we it's like a workshop we workshop each other's jokes with each other okay I'm already getting nervous no no no no you'll be participating

you'll be participating we wrote you some jokes do you want to text him to him or do you not have his number i don't know you don't have your phone with you so the running joke is that i never prepare so like it's been a busy week actually this week so i haven't done anything for it yeah um catfish no i didn't catch shit did you get your your daughter like a little straight out of Compton shirt? Oh my God, from your wife? That's something you would do.

That is something I would do, but we have not done that yet. She's got a little For the Boys jersey, of course. Okay. And then she's got like Star Wars apparel. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, I'm all about Star Wars. Are you?

Yeah, we're a Star Wars family. I have no idea. I'm a Star Wars guy. This is great news. Are you a Star Wars guy? Number one Star Wars, not number one Star Wars guy, but I a Star Wars family. I have no idea. I'm a Star Wars guy. This is great news. Are you a Star Wars guy? Number one Star Wars, not number one Star Wars guy, but I love Star Wars. Would you say that the Clone Wars, their animated series on Disney Plus is probably their best content? I liked the first Clone Wars they did, the 2D animation over the CGI one.

You're talking about seasons one and two before they started to get a little bit better? Yeah. You would probably like that. Yeah, that's... It's a good vibe. Yeah, it's a good vibe. Yeah. No, but I actually went to go get a Star Wars tattoo.

Ben Quadraneros, the pod racer whose thing blew up. No shit. And I brought it into the tattoo shop and the guy was like, you know this looks like a clitoral hood. And I was like, shit, I guess he does. And I just chickened out of getting it. First of all, what is a clitoral hood? I don't know't know dude i think it's like the thing that protects the clit yeah

like i had the i'm assuming the b is kind of the you know the end and then the rest is like the hood look like i guess like it doesn't have like a little like uh maybe the design he had was like a clitoral google clitoral hood yeah you guys keep talking i grew up in the clitoral hood. Google clitoral hood. Yeah. You guys keep talking. I grew up in the clitoral hood, dude. The mean streets. What are you, a virgin, dude? Actually, show it to me, because I just know what an obscure

pod racer looks like over a pussy. I could identify Ben Cuadroneros and his pod racer over alright in your defense I don't know who's identifying a clitoral hood

that was a cool tattoo artist guy yeah I mean it was at a tattoo shop yeah tattoo guys love eating pussy I guess always have

alright they're not prude no no they're not Kyle do you want to start off the news or do you want me to or do you want me to

text Will and have him start us off alright Will you don't have to just read these like you would let's see oh I told oh fuck I told you I was going to text you when we were headed up here

and I just I didn't it's all good alright Will why don't you read the first joke episode two of three is the news read it like an anchor yeah okay an Illinois French cafe was vandalized First joke. Episode two of three is the news. Read it like an anchor. Yeah. Okay. An Illinois French cafe was vandalized with hate speech ahead of a drag show. If they can't spray... Hang on.

Sorry, boys. Let me start that over. Yeah, yeah. Of course. That's how it works. Maybe slower. An Illinois... Enunciate the syllables more.

Yeah. Okay. Okay. An Illinois French cafe was vandalized with hate speech ahead of a drag show if they can't get the spray paint off i guess they can become a french cigarette store yes that's right yeah we can guess what the spray paint said that was a good one good one well that was a good one it was a decent start but i was i was really hitting the ground landing the plane, I feel like. No, you really did.

Here's one. If you're not comfortable doing this one. If you can't get the spray paint off, I guess they can just become a French cigarette store. So a French cafe becomes a French cigarette store. Because that's how the French would say cigarette was what the spray paint said. Okay. Okay. We can't.

See, this is how it is. It's a joke workshop do you mind if I read through it first no we do mind if you read through it so just go ahead and go don't do that a Pennsylvania state trooper has been charged with felony animal

cruelty after hitting a horse with his patrol vehicle cops will truly kill anything that enjoys doing the nay-nay. Will! That's a little that's a little fucked up, man. Will, chill out, dude. I'm one of the boys. Good God.

Hey, you! Clip that, clip that. Chat, clip that. Hey, I don't know if you saw this, but I improvised right there. I added an A in between hitting horse. That's great. I don't know if you you saw this but i improvised right there i added an a in between hitting horse that's great i don't type well i don't these are just my thoughts when i read the news in the morning hey that's a funny fucking joke do you guys do stand up no yeah no no we know no you you tried it yes very nerve-wracking i can't imagine that's the reason

we don't do it or i don't do it i was up there for like 12 minutes though that's a long ass time well yeah yeah and how how did you prepare like did you write it for months i'm like i know like uh probably four days in advance three days in advance and i'm just like going through it but i had a couple people help me like steve burn he's a comedian oh yeah burt kreischer had just came on the pod. So I ran a couple of jokes by him. Of course. Yeah. And like great.

I like emailed my material to Steve Byrne and then he would write back to me on some stuff that I could look at changing. OK. And then I would just stand up. You actually really a lot of people will go in just thinking that they're funny without any prep work and then bomb. You actually. Yes.

I mean, there's no I would I would be up there bombing and then I would get extremely nervous and then feel shitty. I'm not up there. I'm not confident enough to do like crowd work. So I would just be like, Hey man, get off the stage. Yeah. No, if it went like that way. Yeah.

Will you do it again? Yeah, I actually am at the end of August here. Yes. Brian Callen wants me to do five minutes during his set. It's a big comedian. I know. I know. Dude.

Hell yeah. That's awesome, dude. You know. I know. Dude, hell yeah. That's awesome, dude. You guys should come. Okay. Would love to. And you guys can actually, you guys can come on the bus. Like we can do a bus in with the boys pod. How do you guys hang on now?

How do you guys feel about that? I feel like it's kind of rushing into it. Yeah. It's over a month. I think you just got excited. Yeah. And you just. Yeah, you got excited.

I don't know if you quite mean that. Let's on it yeah i'll go on the bus once but i won't go back like the rosa parks of bitter podcast what if we did what if we did the podcast outside of the bus where you don't have to come in yeah okay yeah yeah yeah we'll just kind of situate the couch and stuff like right over here yeah yeah yeah think, yeah. Think about it. But we'd love to host you guys. We have time. We have time. I appreciate it. We're going to think about it for a while.

Run it by Taylor. Taylor's going to be in camp. Okay. It's me trying to figure it out. Oh, yeah, no. We would. Yeah. We'd love to.

Fantastic. I have one more joke for you, Kyle. Did you write any jokes for Will? No. Okay. So we have our own news, but then you'll finish that one off. Brittany Griner will testify in Russian court as trial continues. No. Okay. So we have our own news, but then you'll finish that one off. Okay. Brittany Griner will testify in Russian court as trial continues.

With advances in gender reassignment surgeries, I'm surprised she hasn't already been testified. Testified. She's gotten a ball sack. Wait, wait. Run that back. One more time. One more time. All right, all right, all right.

I see it. Brittany Griner will testify in Russian court as trial continues. With advances in gender reassignment surgeries, I'm surprised she hasn't already been paused after the first sentence and then give it a little more yeah a little breathing about we'll think about that headline okay okay okay this is how we do it we're not critiquing you we do this to each other this is to improve our craft camera on me yeah is that Is that camera? Brittany Griner will testify in Russian court as

trials continue. With advances in gender reassignment surgeries, I'm surprised she hasn't already been testified. Did it?

Like testify? Yeah. Oh, like a ball sound. I said the first one, then you said run it back. Yeah, that was

funny. That's brought to you by GameTime, guys. GameTime is a ticketing app that makes it easier than ever to score last minute deals. Kyle, what was the last ticket you got from GameTime? I went to...

You went to go see Dear Evan Hansen. I went to see Dear Evan Hansen. That's right. And you loved it. Granted, GameTime gave it to me for free. But you... Come on, dude. You won't get it for free, but you'll get

a hell of a deal. Untold 1.5? No, just Untold. Just Untold for $20 off. That's a GameTime app. Go to the Account tab, create a login, redeem the code. Download GameTime. Alright.

I got some news jokes here. Before I get into this one every i gotta do something else no no you're good i just need a we are like a top five uh podcast when it comes to violet beauregard references the girl that chewed the gum and willie wonka and got very big okay so every episode we do a joke and we try to hide a violet beauregard reference in there. It's getting nearly impossible with the phonetics and words. There's only so many jokes. We're running out. So they're getting very bad.

So let's just get that one out of the way. Do you have a Violet Beauregard one as well? I have a fan submitted one. Okay. NFL season is coming up. Isn't that right, boys? That's right. Yeah.

And the NFL shop has said that Aiden Hutchinson, his jersey has not only surpassed as the most popular Lions jersey, but it blew berries away. Barry Sanders. It blew berries away. Who has been rolling as their best seller since 1989. Blueberry rolling?

That reminds me of Violet Beauregard, Kyle. Ten-year-old patron of Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. She's from Atlanta. She ate so much chewing gum that she inflated. She turned into a very big blueberry. All right, we got that out of the way. All right, we're climbing up the rankings of Beauregard podcasts.

You guys hear about this is bad news. Time out, time out, time out. May I ask is that true about Aiden Hutchinson no he is the number one selling lion he passed up DeAndre Swift Barry is still number one

no no no right now on the lion store Calvin Harris is number one Calvin Harris is a DJ your drug riddled brain dude can only think in terms of EDM you know Calvin Johnson. Calvin Harris is a DJ. Your drug-riddled brain, dude. Can only think in terms of EDM. You know Calvin Johnson, right? Joey Harrington.

John Kitna. Okay. Okay, so you're aware. Okay. That was a good save. I know the boys. I know the boys. You know players? Bad news, guys. Shopify. Unfortunately, they will be laying off 10% of their employees

in the coming weeks. Since it hasn't happened yet, experts are scrambling to find a way to prevent this. You know what? I think Shopify should hire Will Compton as CEO, because then nobody would be getting sacked. A British term for

being fired. And being bad at football. Let me do one more. Can I do one? What i do one yeah go ahead what am i an offensive lineman global tech giant stripe which is valued at 70 million dollars has plans to merge with square and acquire goldman sachs by 2023 wow that's a tall task you know who spent a decade trying and a failing trying and failing to acquire sacks? Former NFL player Will Compton, who only had one in his career.

All right, all right. That is true, and I did a dab. Oh. One good one is better than five boring ones. Sacking and doing a dab, we can triangulate that to the exact month you did that. Because that was like a popular for... Right. Yeah.

December of 2015. That's right. We can overlay that clip. Yeah. I think it would probably be a vine. A gif. Who was the quarterback? Sam Bradford.

Oh, wow. Big one. West Virginia boy. No, West Virginia beat him. Oklahoma boy. Oklahoma boy. Yep. The FDA.

The FDA. You drank one of these, right? I had a red lime before this. He bought like a generic. Did you drink out of any of these? I didn't drink. No. So that one,

that one, that one's probably his, uh, bad news for, for the vape guys, the vape, the guys that vape. Tom,

he smokes. The FDA announced yesterday that stores must stop carrying jewel carts, pods, and juices immediately. Immediately stop carrying the pods. That reminds me of when Taylor goes to training camp. It's in the news. It's just in the news.

After a recent Treasury amendment, Fannie Mae tightened standards on investment properties. Wait a second. Tighten standards? I didn't think they had any after they signed Will Compton. Nice one. This is a roast. No, no.

These are good comedy news, so this is a good time. The jokes write themselves, man. It's just in the news, and we had a little bit more to piggyback. Target is raising minimum wage to $24 an hour. I'm just telling you that to help you out. Wow, that's good for them. Who's doing that? Target.

Comfortable living. Just in case you need that. You ready? I'll do one. That was the joke. No, that wasn't a joke. I was just letting you know. Just in case, you know.

I need something to do. There it is. You have time. Bad news again. The news is just filled you have time. Uh, bad news again. The news is just filled with all, everything bad. That's the news these days. More than a thousand monkeypox cases confirmed in New York city.

It's a new hotspot for the virus. Most commonly spread from men who have sex with other men. You can identify the disease by its scarlet lesions on the skin. Sleeping with men, red skin. Hmm. That reminds me of somebody. Former gay Washington linebacker Will Compton. Will Compton wants to

Will Compton wants to fuck David and Derek Carr. That's a good one. That's a good one. He's a couple tweets about Derek. I want to fuck him again. A Chinese court ruled against a single Beijing woman who wanted to freeze her eggs. They wouldn't let her freeze her pussy.

Freeze pussy is also what cops would say if they were about to arrest Will. Actually, they'd say, Koffinga pussy, because if Will were getting arrested, it would be in Cameroon, where it's illegal to be gay. That was what I'm trying to keep up with.

Koffinga. It would be K kafinga, which means freeze in Cameroon. I think that would be buntu. Buntu? Yeah. Oh, fuck, man.

What are we getting into? That was a good time. Here's the thing. Me and Kyle did not cross wires. We both just wrote those unknowing that. I didn't know you were doing Will-themed ones.

We never tell each other. That is amazing. That's why you guys are talented. You brought us together, man. What was your last one? He wants to fuck David and Derek Carr? He wants to fuck Derek Carr. Is that? Well, that was just, yeah, I read that

somewhere. Oh, man. I've had a couple tweets like, you know how I am. I promote the boys. Derek's one of them. He is. Yeah. So he probably saw that and just You played with him. Yeah. Is he top eight in the league? Quarterback? Top eight quarterback?

Yeah. I think that's hard to argue. I think it's hard to argue that he is just because they haven't, the Raiders haven't advanced in the playoffs. How is everybody just exiting out of our podcast as soon as we started talking about sports? That's on me. That's on me. But Derek, I got a good story about Derek.

Right when I got there within the last five weeks last year for the season, I didn't have a vehicle. I didn't want to rent a car because there was. Well, you didn't want to rent him? I didn't want to rent him. And we're right back into it. I didn't want to rent a vehicle because it was costing too much money. Derek, within 10 minutes, drove from his house.

The day was over. I just said to him, hey, do you happen to have an extra vehicle in your garage? Because I'm thinking like, you quarterback he probably does within 10 minutes him and his wife drive down uh there are two vehicles so he can drop off his truck oh that's very nice good good so yes christian boy a lot of cars yeah what else we getting into we're in nashville do you go out in nashville like do you do the whole broadway scene there's no way i really know that looks like i will i say like i've seen clips of it the whole street just being on dana beers's twitter it looks that looks like he only comes here after tragedy yeah he's like the

moth man um he's yeah he brought a case of beer down here to during the tornadoes the guys just lost their you know their entire neighborhood but yeah they probably wanted 24 beers i thought i went with him to that house too do you bring vrabel no he saw vrabel a time before that okay like a day or something before that okay but yeah and then he obviously partook in the covet celebration down on broadway you guys don't shower? We were talking about this before the podcast. I just turned 30. When?

End of June. Happy belated, bro. Thanks, man. Enough time has passed. You can probably wish me a happy early 31st. I'm not going to do that. It'll be at my next party. Oh, you were at my birthday. You're a dickhead. The case race was my birthday.

What a birthday. You're a dickhead. The case race was my birthday. What a birthday. We were here, though. You wished him for sure. Oh, and what I was going to say was we actually win that case race because Shane was bullshitting because he was just chugging for Roan. Yeah, there was a

you were supposed to be like yucking it up. There was a no chug policy. Three seconds before he downed a beer and we'd try and yell to get him to stop it. It'd be aucking it up. There was a no-chug policy. It would be like three seconds before he downed a beer and we'd try and yell to get it to stop. It'd be a waste of breath. Yeah. Anyway, yeah. We should have won that.

I think we did. You sure as hell didn't. No. No, but I loathe getting wet. If there was a pill I could take... You wish there was a pill that would like... I would self-clean myself like a pill I could take. You wish there was a pill that would like, so I would self clean myself like, like a vagina,

I guess. If I could, if I could turn you into a giant vagina in the sense that I would clean myself, you wish you were a giant pussy, I guess. No, but I hate,

I hate shower. You take days off. Is that, is that bad? I mean, like I'll take, I've gotten to the point to where I take a couple days off now, but usually I shower every other day.

Yeah. And if I'm playing, you're obviously showering every day after playing. Playing? Oh, I thought you meant with toys. No, no, no. Legos. We're talking about playing some ball. But I go every other day.

But I've gotten to the point to where I go two days now, maybe three if my head doesn't start itching too early. So it's not that I don't want to like clean myself. I would love to, but right before bed, you're kind of just ready to get in bed. So I'll wash my face, brush my teeth.

I leave my contacts. You guys wear contacts? No, I'm afraid to touch my eyeballs. Yeah, I can't. I can't touch my eyeballs. I need them badly. You can't see anything. And I like it. I kind of like it.

You like not being able to see? It's mostly just like the things that are a problem are like faces from afar. I can't recognize someone, which is fine. It's a huge problem. No, because I remember putting on glasses. You also can't see televisions or read beer menus up. Yeah.

It's bad. I remember getting glasses and looking in the mirror, and you could see all of... Everyone's face looks worse. When you have terrible eyesight, everyone looks more attractive. That is true. You can't see any of their little facial flaws.

Are you implying that women that you meet out... No, no. They're looking at themselves in the mirror. It's across the board. It's myself. It's everyone. I think that's a move. if you want to feel less insecure self-conscious and find other people hotter go blind go get toe the line a little bit yeah a little bit going out with paltrow like shallow how yeah yeah no kb you could still feel weight

yeah but not until the deed's already happening yeah yeah you're right and at that point once you're in it's a sin yes so yes it's over it's a wrap it's curtains yeah you might literally you might as well have a blast you're right it's already happened you might as well have go balls you might as well have a blast you're right it's already happened you might as well have the funnest time of your life you're fucking right oh my god um how long have we been doing we're a short podcast 40 oh really that's like the longest episode we've ever done seriously it's a director's cut so i would like to say the moment i got put on you guys i was like who in the fuck are these dudes was the bit you did pro like i'm sure that thing went viral what you did with erica nardini oh we called her a cunt yeah yeah

that was your stupid cunt yeah man i know like it was i guess ironic but i can't believe we did that that's that was hilarious we didn't tell her we were gonna do that they got a podcast called anus right on my anus. That's that's, that's all time. Yeah. From that moment forward. Actually, we horrible decision on our part.

Our podcast started out as a fake podcast. We just put out clips of a show that was never a thing. Like in a podcast studio, like we were a podcast. We would just put out clips of like episode this. And then, and that's how we got to episode 12. You would advertise like dumb things.

Were they even real no no no we would have fake sponsors do all kinds of yeah um yeah and we would just we were a fake podcast and our goal was we found a website of like where barstool's patent lawyer where barstool patents everything it was like during the call her daddy stuff we're like oh like barstool just re-up the patent on the name call her daddy so we're like how funny would it be if barstool had to pay like a lawyer 20 grand to patent the word anus so we kept on refreshing the page boom anus was patented yeah it's trademarked i mean by barstool no yeah and so we're like fuck now we have to you know we sell zero merch no merch yeah we have never been close to a bonus once we put out this do you

do you sell merch we have it but we're just saying you don't push you don't you don't like you know like there's that you know there's like a saint patrick's day push yeah like you have to put out green stuff and like themed like instead of kiss me i'm irish so anis stands for a new untold story yep and so our our saint. Patrick's day merch. Yeah. Yeah. To think a little cerebral, huh?

Yeah. A little, um, our merch was for St. Patrick's day. Instead of kiss me, I'm Irish. It said,

untell me I'm story. The worst shirt of all time. And it was green. And we got an email. They were like, Hey, can you push this? Oh,

sorry. Am I veiled by his leg? Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Anyway, we ended up selling two total shirts. KB has been smaller than ever. Our Airbnb yesterday had a crib in it. We were like, KB, go in the crib.

It'll be hilarious. We didn't. We were drunk. We used the photo that went out says this is who big cat refers to as his son how small did he look in that crib oh that is amazing insane i was it's not funny babies babies fill out cribs why was there so much it was camera trickery no who wasn't dude i stayed up all night just looking at that picture trying to find like and i what was going on hold up the blanket in that bed no it was uncomfortable it was big this had to be new yeah

this was the biggest crib ever made goldilocks that bed was broke a record it was like the world's largest chair rocking chair in casey illinois i think this was the world's largest crib in some town and then they took it in it was a regular there was no way that was a regulation crib and then he was so like snug under that blanket. His feet were tuck. You know, you do the foot thing where you tuck the blanket under your feet. He was like,

that was a big quilt. I picked it up. It looked like I just had a loincloth on dude. I'm like a contortionist. I'm close. You're a small guy. You're a small guy. That is the smallest.

I'm more of a contortionist than I am small. You look small in a crib. How tall are you? Five, six, five, seven, five, seven, AKB, five, seven. a contortionist than I am small. You look small in a crib. How tall are you? 5'6"? 5'7". 5'7"? A.K.B. 5'7"? No, I'm not one of those guys. I tell the truth because you're going to see it and know what it is. You can't tell the difference between 6 and 7.

Yeah, you can. You might as well say 8. And what do you mean by you're going to see it? It's like... I should start saying 8. Yes! You think that'll work? Yes! Okay. Because here's what has to happen. Somebody has got to get a tape measuring bag. All right. Measure yourself.

KB bought lifts. No one ever does that. He was walked in one day. So I went and bought lifts too. He's not catching up. That's son of a bitch. It was the day after I got my lifts. I came in strutting, looking leggy as all hell.

What were you going to say? You said time out. How's my breathing? Because last episode I got destroyed. Yeah. Breathing. You couldn't hear a word we said last episode. That spiraled me into like a constant state of like health anxiety.

But the video still did well because people had it for Darth Vader ASMR to fall asleep to, dude. Now I'm hyper fixated on my own breathing. And that's the only thing I can think of. And every time you think about it consciously, you think you're doing it wrong or poorly so now i think i have like some type of pulmonary issue okay okay do you got all the dms so you do you read uh you see this stuff in dms do you guys read your guys's comments on your show and stuff like that we uh we read our subreddit the anus subreddit and yuck it up with those boys. The subreddit. I'm very good at it. We have our own like anus subreddit. I'm good at avoiding something like a comment section that I know might be negative.

So if I think it might be negative, I won't look. But you already put you in a bad mood. Just think I've already assumed the worst. I mean, I know when you put out like something that's not your best. Yeah. I don't like usually if it's a video, we just won't put it out. But with a podcast with ads and like you know the schedule you have to yeah so that's just i avoid i avoid the internet the week where i feel like one's not good enough

yeah i get that for sure but yeah you respond to dms though you pick fights i i get in moods remember we were in put in bay and you were like one of my meanest trolls is here and i'm going to go fight him what was his name mean peter did you find him he wasn't there just his boys his boys were awesome mean peter's boys were awesome yeah were you gonna fight him no no well for a second were you thinking about like no he i'm kind of joking but if it goes that way like a long time like so he'll dm me an insult like once every two months he's been doing it for like five years. So I respect it. That's his thing. He's mean Peter. He's mean to me. That's fine.

It's classic Peter. It's amazing like how angry people get at me over just like breathing on my podcast. They're like calling me an asshole, a douchebag, kill yourself. Like if you're listening to me, you like, did you like me up until that point? And then I started breathing wrong and then you're like, fuck this guy.

I think I lost a lot of listeners. Before that, our guest, my buddy, Maresh, brought us into Slim Jims. And I ate one of the Slim Jims. They're like, you're fucking chewing the whole time. Made me fucking puke. And I was like, dude. It is weird how extreme some of these comments get off the smallest.

And that's like a minority of it. So it's not crazy. I'm glad we never did people have never done that get much worse oh yeah what did your voice you sound like a movie trailer yeah other people are hate it more than us yeah hell yeah but

I was gonna say I'm glad we never did like the reddit thing like I've never been on reddit yeah that's good smart that's I hear reddit's pretty dangerous yeah it's a good way to like catch up on things going on. Yeah, if you're out of the office for a little bit. They know before we do. They know more than we do.

Definitely. About stuff in the office? Yeah. Yeah, and I don't know how they do that. They are angry people, yeah. Because people create burners, right? They treat barstool... That's the rumor, right?

Nah. The rumor. They treat barstool sports like it's a curriculum that they have to follow and consume everyone. Yeah. they'll get like so angry about like a like a video or a podcast that they don't like they don't have to listen though i don't get it the barstool fan base thinks they have to consume everything so that's it's a minority i think definitely i do think it's a minority if there there is a crop a large Boston cream you think so no i don't know no they no i will say that's not enough cream five daughters bakery that is not enough cream for the inside of a boston cream that's just a

boston pie look at that that's not that much cream that's you got to fill that up you got to fill that up cream pie kb and i are most heated debate almost came to blows uh kb we did this draft with the chicago guys of best feelings and he wanted to draft cream pie and i talked him out of it because i don't think it's worth the fear you wanted to have a child talking about cream pies um it's just uncomfortable but i i would consider it the top human sensation. For like feelings of like your body? You're talking about orgasm? Everyone says that orgasm is the best feeling, right? Yeah, it's a good feeling.

So the best type of orgasm is the cream pie. No way, dude. Because you're instantly hit. I'm not starting this up again. You keep talking about what happens afterwards. That negates that. No, it's an entirely different sensation. You threw in you wanted to have a kid.

The sensation of a cream pie last 10 seconds. Sensations can be a millisecond. I'd rather take a longer sensation than a fleeting one. What's a longer sensation? I like double Q-tipping after a shower. Q-tipping is a great sensation. That is a

fun sensation. That's the one time I get why a girl would enjoy that. You'd rather Q-tip than orgasm, though? You're talking to... Yes, yes. People will... Yes. People will what? I'm damn near asexual. It's vaguely...

If getting fucked in your pussy was like Q-tipping, I would not be a complete bore. What do you mean? I would probably moan a little bit. I wouldn't have to fake my moans. It feels damn good. Do you Q-tip better do you mean? Like I would like probably moan a little bit. I wouldn't have to fake my moans because it feels damn good. Do you Q-tip better than you fuck? I'm getting very good at it.

I mean, I know all the... You know the internet. I mean, your ear is like a labyrinth too. All those crannies. You gotta learn a little bit in those ears. How often do you Q-tip? I Q-tip every time i shower and then probably twice a day but i always double pleasure what do you mean double dual wheeled akimbo dual

wheel double q-tip every day twice a day yeah every time i like walk past my bathroom it's calling my name it is i feel like that sensation probably wears off after a time because there's times where you do clean it out and it's been a little bit, it feels extremely good. It's not the top. It's top 50, maybe. No. Physical sensation?

Yeah. Yeah, top 50. Yeah. The cream pie. That's a lot of feeling. Cream pie. The cumming in the vagina is number one. No, because sometimes you get the willies down your spine.

I like how he tries to whisper it. He tries to whisper it because he thinks it sounds more sophisticated. Well, the cream pie. Well, at least weigh in. Yeah, he's got a good point, though. It's the entire vibe of it, too. You feel like you're dominating. Right, but I can double Q-tip whenever I want.

No, when I'm cumming in in a pussy or when i did i don't feel like dominant i feel disgusting did you give it up for like lent or something i have a small size i thought we're talking about though like if you feel disgusting you just said it's the best feeling. You said you feel dominant cream pie-ing. Yeah, like, yeah. Okay. It's pie or be pie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Doggy, doggy.

Okay. All right. You're not doing it. It's going to happen to you, dude. Why do I feel like I'm being dominant? Or I'm being dominated when I do cream pie? When I cream pie, yeah. You feel like you're...

There's more happening to me than happening to them. I don't dominated. When you cream pie? When I cream pie, yeah. You feel like you're... There's more happening to me than happening to them. I don't know. What? Like, I'm a victim. I'm a helpless victim of their pussy. You're right. Yeah. Because you know, as a single guy,

the fear that comes post-cream pie, PCP. Absolutely. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can understand that part, but I'm just talking, we're just talking feelings. Right, but if he said... We're talking about the right environment, like, everything's set up. What are you talking about?

What do you mean? Yeah, but if she, yeah, say that's not an issue. What else? In today's political landscape? That's a post-nut rarity for me. Today's political landscape. Yeah, but it's like, you can time stuff up, Like, everything's scheduled out if you're, like, right before

the period or right after. We're having enough regular sex to where we can time it up. Time it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No. My wife and I would get dangerous before she starts

and after she gets done. Oh. Every time of month. Is that like a... There's no... The chances are, like, zero. No kidding. That's what I'm saying.

You look it up. You gotta ovulate to get pregnant right quit doing that we're i don't want to i don't want to look disgusting when we talk about this so i'm doing okay yeah let's all do this and talk about cream pot yeah i'm against it because i get that you're against it but the one thing that was holding it back not politically hear me out how does that I think her it from being a top sensation I think I even think it's a disgusting sight I don't

like ever seeing anything use yeah but oh yeah you have to sit there and watch what yeah you don't have to watch that's a slow process. Even knowing that it's oozing, even if it's there, if there's a monster in your closet, you're not going to ignore it.

Again, it's not a monster. You don't have to sit there and watch it ooze. You apologize and say, I wish I could have lasted a little bit longer. It comes out quick. I don't remember. It's a quick ooze. Is it a quick ooze? Oozes are inherently comes out quick. I don't remember. It's a quick ooze. Is it a quick ooze?

Oozes are inherently not that quick. No, no. What about... There's quick oozes. If they're on top and once they get off, if you're looking down at it. Oh, from that angle. That's it. I'm just saying the risk isn't worth the reward. But listen, we're

talking about the feeling. It doesn't negate the feeling. But listen, we're talking about the feeling. I would say arguably it doesn't negate the feeling of the sensation. You're talking about post-nut clarity. Right there, that's a feeling in itself. That's a separate feeling. Yeah, that's a separate feeling. That's maybe the worst feeling. Yes.

But this is the best feeling. All right, I feel like I'm being ganged up on, and I don't like it. All I'm saying is a cream pie is comparable to pulling out and busting on a back. No, brother. Is there a medical term for it? I don't want to hear is a cream pie is comparable to pulling out and busting on a back. We call something like more medical. No, brother. Is there a medical term for it? I don't want to hear you saying cream pie. Um, cream pie.

Have you ever done it? Come on now, Will. Come on, dude. Nikki. Seeding. Seeding. Okay. That's gross.

That's seeding. Yeah. What a gross word. Also, that's like a dominant thought. There's an actual Wikipedia article. On seeding? On cream pie-ing. Okay.

Yeah, you guys. Did it win any Forbes awards? What did it win? Come on, buddy. Go to achievements and critical acclaim. Go to achievements. Go to his and critical acclaim. Go to achievements. Go to his personal life. Controversial.

Oh, no. The controversy tab of cream pie. Health risks. HIV. See, you're a worrier, aren't you? Oh, yeah. Oh, big time. Because all we're talking about is feelings.

Everything you're talking about has... Is just the anxiety that comes with something else associated with it. Yes. I don't know. You're from the standpoint of choices have consequences. I guess we could call that responsibility. Yeah, we're in your...

Do you think it's an opinion, the thought of choices have consequences? Is that an opinion? I'm saying choices have consequences. It's an opinion. I'm saying that's the box you live in when thinking about these feelings. You are a warrior. Like literally, we're still trying to talk about it. And you Googled it and then found even more. Oh, you could get HIV.

I'm the biggest warrior. We have to fly tomorrow and I'm not going to sleep tonight. I get to the airport at least seven hours early. It's insane. Yeah. He's always don't have to no i know he's yeah as we're boarding as we're in line he'll come up and stroll up it's i'm i get more anxious like to walk because there's a better chance to get killed walking or driving or riding so you run everywhere so you're a warrior as well no just like in

general that's like the safest mode of transportation is flying yeah probably statistically yeah yes absolutely there's not there's if there were as many planes one mode of transportation that's uh safer than a plane wheelchair no no they die all the time because of other reasons okay the bound people are not risk takers so you're all about being in control yeah it's outside of your control your anxieties through the roof hence no cream pie no cream pie no flying yeah no no flying and i hate i hate everything about flying getting off the plane in chattanooga there was this woman who was at least 215 years old in front of me. She tried to cut through me.

I pushed her away. She was so old. You know when you hit that age of like supreme old age that you're racially ambiguous? You couldn't tell what she was. They always look like Mother Teresa, like vaguely Indian, but also white. She was vaguely Indian. Yeah. But she looked like an unwrapped mummy.

But I helped her open like her overhead. And she was so old that like her jaw didn't close anymore. She just had to keep the thing open. You just gravity. You know how that. Yeah. And she was she should not have been alive, let alone flying. Did you help her with her luggage?

I was like, which one's yours? There were two up there. I was like, which one's yours? There were two up there. One was a very floral, like pink, lime green, magenta, violet suitcase. And one was just jet black. And she just couldn't tell which one was hers.

And so I was like, she had to feel them. I was looking and she was blind. She wasn't. I'm like, I'd imagine they looked much different than they felt. and she was holding up the whole fucking plane the same brand the whole plane thank shout out caitlin walker who gets our tickets the whole plane being me and her because we were the last row yeah um just waiting right

there and just being me and her and it was it was the most infuriated i've ever been yeah i would have but then you just like breezed past her. You're an asshole to the elderly. I'm deplaning. I'm at my meanest. Yeah. He rolled his eyes at this ancient woman. Don't fly. What are you doing?

Where are you going? Let's go to Chattanooga. You're going to be an angry old man. Yes. He has the shortest views in the entire fucking world. I was going to say, you get in moods, bro. It's moods, yeah. He stomps around the city.

Yeah. I'm going to cut weight his whole life. Oh, yeah. I bet its, yeah. He stomps around the city. Yeah. It's either like... I haven't cut weight his whole life. Oh, yeah, I bet it is. That's what it's from. No, it's from drug. Kratom. No, no, no.

You don't want to... I don't do Kratom anymore. I barely do drugs. And little man syndrome. Maybe. Maybe subconsciously. You get told that to you a lot? No, because I'm not the type that wants to fight you physically,

because I think that's more little man syndrome. I might have it, yeah. I've been wanting to fight lately. Have you? I'm 20, I'm 30 years old. I want you to fight Mean Peter. Mean Peter. No.

I want him to fight Mean Peter too. I was like, yeah, dude, let's go meet him. Yeah. I'd be useless. Was your... I never got to fight me and Peter too I was like yeah dude let's go meet him yeah I'd be useless was your I never got to the bottom of this was your top 10 rapper list that was fake

was it yes but it was it blew every like everyone took it seriously and everyone destroyed you I know that was the most fun day bro the best thing I've ever when I used to do shit like that was my the most fun day bro the best thing i've ever that was my like that was when i used to do shit like that was my my dream scenario it's the best man because then

it gets so far out there like so many new people see it that i ended up seeing like white nationalism at work right here oh it was all like it gets way too big to where now it's becoming like a trending for being racist yeah because you want it was ironic so you which is awesome which is awesome yeah but you weren't yeah and the best part was machine gun kelly yeah yeah the best part you see that and think like yeah yeah i know right but machine gun kelly was on it above j cole and there was this person who blasted me and that one was their thing was going viral for blasting me and machine gun kelly like comments under everything listen to this album listen to this album with the shrugs which gassed

it even more dude oh my god everyone he got his eyes on it yeah that's amazing everyone else saw it and just assumed he was a racist idiot yeah and then it gets to the point where people who people like oh just see who he works with like it all makes sense yeah they just dive deeper right right that that you struck gold with that yeah that was a good it was a good fun though do you have like the itch to do that again oh yeah I love it yeah I love doing

shit like that what's next it's not it's not that serious no it's not at all like trolling the internet is the most is the most fun my fucking dad is my 63 year old dad is addicted to it. Yeah. On Twitter. He's been,

he's been trolling the dozen. He's, he's, yeah, he's better watch it. He goes by Doug Winoi, his dad. And he just trolls.

He's made like articles and stuff. He's, he's. Cause he, does he get emotionally invested? Like he's actually somebody who writes like with, with emotion. Or is he trolling?

He trolls in the replies to like popular tweets, likeiden's tweets or anything yeah he said he said he stopped talking to his son because his son son's republican he hasn't talked to his grandson in five years yeah yeah so he's funny he's he's getting better at it good definitely give him a follow not love to no i would love to i noticed somebody was bullying me online um somebody it was a response to when you said made the wawa over sheets joke towards me um yeah yeah wawa under sheets yeah and he said like kb said wawa under sheets that's the sound nick makes when he's sucking a dude's dick in bed like under under sheets yeah and then this dude was like i always knew nick was like the gayest or something it was

like something mean to me and then one like your dad he hates you he does think you're gay he just needs it clean He just needs affirmation. Dude, a good move that you could do because you'll get fired up about whether it's DMs or comments or whatever that you specifically look at. You take him for a walk. Oh, those are

incredible. His walk videos. Let's take a walk. Yeah, let's take a walk. That's so good. You get to show that you're this is funny. You get to show that you're like this is funny yeah you get to show like you're taking this way too serious and like let me take you for a walk real quick i get amped up whenever yeah let me take a walk up real quick yeah and then you're you're you know you get this like freedom of like yeah i'm fucking cussing on the internet like i don't

give a shit and it just doubles up your content like the first thing that i did and then agree with the mindset that you should ignore the hate all the time i yeah i'm with that you that doesn't make you they think that makes you like a better person don't stoop to their level i mean i think if even if they're a burner account that's still another adult man that's my least favorite thing it's like oh it's a faceless this person anime picture talking shit on me it's a person'm going to respond and have a conversation. I agree with you. But to me, these are conversations that could be... We could play the circle game with these conversations.

This would be great when we do this again. Yeah. Let's save it for everybody. Everybody listen. I think we're done. This is like a post-show, a post-Yak show. Did you say?

People have been clamoring for that. They didn't're done. This is like a post-show, a post-YAC show. Did you say people? People have been clamoring for that. They didn't hate it. They didn't hate when everybody left because we were just talking the whole time. I was fired up. Yeah. Yeah. You'll have to come back.

We'll move to Chicago. You never know. Oh. That'd be nice. Are you guys going to Chicago? You're going to Chicago, right? I think so. It looks like it. It looks like it.

We'll see. I mean, a lot can change. Does that excite you? Yeah. I mean, yeah. I mean, you've been a Northeast guy. Have you been a Northeast guy your whole life? West Virginia is borderline.

Okay. Yeah. You guys are like the South. Yeah, I think it will create it. We're the South. No, no, we are not. We are in like the only undefined area regionally. Yeah. There's no identity or culture. It'sia part midwest part rust belt part mid-atlantic i don't know yeah yeah fuck man

no i don't know i mean nothing is like finalized yet i don't even think there's an office yeah like if there would be you know a new one So there's not an office finalized yet. There has to be. I mean, why, why would I ever know? We don't know. True. Yeah.

It's like, cause when is the move going to happen? Like when's big cat going again? We don't, we don't know. You guys might know, but I get it. No,

no, no. We'll probably find out on Reddit. We said ballpark within the next year ish. I don't know. That's what I'm saying. If you're, if you're within the next year,

it's like they, I'm sure they have their eyes on something. but we don't know yeah we would tell you i would and we yeah we it wouldn't matter i would say it but no not hiding anything from you well that's cool is there is there going to be like a divide do you think i think people will make a rift that changes up everything like the landscape of bar. I don't know if it'll be like controversial or dramatic, but yeah. I think it'll be like internally controversial.

It will be, yeah. Because you got people who live in New York that, you know, either don't want to move, about to make something work. Yeah, it's a big decision. We're lucky that we're not

tied down by anything. Just single boys, yeah. Yep. Well, I love it. Maybe as a kid. All right. That was the episode I appreciate that that was awesome just sitting there that was fun man

that was a blast bro sorry for the roast that was hilarious man that was a blast bro sorry for the roast that was hilarious you're exactly in reply to what I'm going to say no you're just going to say no that's a new untold story hey is that story old or told no baby

it's a new untold story a new untold story it's a fresh big untold story I knew I told the story. It's a fresh, big, untold story. I knew I told the story.