A New Untold Story - A Very Bad Idea - A New Untold Story: Ep. 369

Episode Date: November 9, 2023

the first 12 minutes we recorded in section 225 of the wintrust arena and the rest is recorded from nick's couch 0:00 at the stadium 12:27 nick's couch Ads: Gametime - Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code UNTOLD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). Factor - Head to https://FACTORMEALS.com/kb50 and use code kb50 to get 50% off. Be the Hoss - Go to https://bethehoss.com check out their athletic line and leisure wear - Use code “BARSTOOL” for 20% off the whole store and Be The Hoss TodayYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, A New Untold Story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad-free on Amazon Music. Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light Is that your reply to what I'm going to say? No, you're just going to say, like, No, that's A New Untold Story. Hey, is that story old or told? Fuck no, baby!

That's a new untold story. A new untold story. It's a fresh, big untold story. A new untold story all right welcome to a new untold story episode three three six nine overlay of northwestern california we won't get into that. We're here at the Wintrust Arena. Before we get into that, we just got the news that the grandpa that accidentally ate the paint

that thought was ice cream died today. People are shocked. Why? People thought he died much earlier. Can you believe the grandpa that ate that gallon of paint is dead? That's motivational. Today's episode is brought to you, ironically enough, by GameTime. Kyle, you know about GameTime. Rudy, Mook, you guys know about GameTime.

Of course. Eagles and Steely Dan tomorrow featuring my GameTime purchase. Wow, that's not too shabby. GameTime. GameTime is a fast and easy way to buy tickets. You guys know that. You could use them to go to this game right now.

Browse through the game time app and talk about upcoming events in your area. The sound quality in this stadium is really good. Last minute tickets, flash deals, zone deals. Game time is the only ticketing app that allows you to complete peace of mind through your purchase. You can see the view from your seat before you buy. You're not going to get stuck in the nosebleeds. Buy tickets in seconds with two taps.

Take the guesswork out of buying tickets with GameTime. Download the GameTime app, create an account. Terms do apply. And guys, check out Redeem Code Untold for $20 off your first purchase. I can't stress this enough. Once the weather gets shitty, you have nothing to do. You've got to buy tickets to an indoor event.

Yes. You're going to get seasonal depression. Indoor events, go to arenas, see your favorite bands, teams, acts, comics. You have to use GameTime. That's right. You do. Download the GameTime app. We're appreciative of them.

Let's take a tiny little break until these introductions are over. Yeah, we're good. Alright, all those pre-game festivities are good and out of the way. We're here. I don't know if this is going to work at all. We may have to delay the podcast

or do half of it from the studio. Are you watching the game? That's not what we may have to delay the podcast or do half of it from the studio. Are you watching the game? I'm watching the game. No, we're doing a podcast. What two teams are playing? We've got the Loyola Ramblers and the FAU Owls

at Boca Raton. And who, any famous people in attendance? Sister Jean. Sister Jean is here. And Kyle, Sister Jean is so old, her occupation is how many days she has left to live. No. Her lifespan is a six-inch inseam Levi, jean short.

Her lifespan is a six-inch inseam Levi. Jean Short. It's funny that the opposite of Sister Jean is Brother Sweats, which is the number one liquid on a basketball court. Past the Rock is something she hears at basketball games and at the stoning of St. Stephen in 36 AD. Sister Jean used to date Methuselah, son of Enoch. Hearing her predominantly black team say they want to

go to the ship also gives her flashbacks. Sister Jean was born August 21st in San Francisco, Pangaea. Sister Jean could be killed by a cold shoulder. If you just ignore her when she's getting your attention, trying to get your attention, she'll fucking die.

Oh, man. That's it. Hey, but... Yeah, there she is. She's here. She is here. And shot. Not really.

Not really. Something. Yeah. We have some boys up here. We have some boys up here. Some boys. Fellas. 225 boys. Why do you mean we're actually going? I probably should have stated joke.

What's up Donnie? Chef Donnie. We talked about it on the yak. Chef Donnie plays war tunes for girls when he brings them back. He plays revolutionary era hymns. He was like, dude, every girl likes molasses. Every person likes this song, Molasses. The first line in Molasses is, oh, the African man was cutting sugar cane. No, dude, it was written a long time ago.

Was that it? It's, oh, the African man cut the sugar in his... That's what I should have said. Sister Jean would fuck with that. Sister Jean was the... Oh, the African man... Yeah. How does it fit?

Oh, my sis, he works in the sun and he works in the rain. And so wait, you bring girls back to your spot and pop that on? No, dude, that's not the first thing I play.

If I'm hammered, it's like, I can't help it. You have to get it off your chest? I have to play it. And what's the success rate of playing that? I play, uh, it's not good.

They're confused, but I usually wait till after if you've hooked up, like, I don't know. That's like admitting you have an STD afterwards. Yeah, it's not good, dude. Hey, I have to tell you something. I have molasses. Oh, no. It's good music, though. Nobody makes songs like that anymore. It's too bad.

Yeah. Dude, do you think this is a good or a bad idea? What, the war tunes? No, that's a bad idea. That's a bad idea. I don't know how it's going to sound. I don't know how your audience is going to like the sound quality. Yeah, probably not. We might not be able to put this out, but that's okay.

It's funny. That's okay. Chef Donnie, can you go grab those other guys for us? They said they had something for Kyle. They have something for me. The guy's right there. There is a lot of white men on this court. Yeah? those other guys for us? They said they had something for Kyle. They have something for me. The guy's right there. There is a lot of white men on this court.

Yeah? I did not bet on this game. I bet on the next game. And I think I'm... So many white men on this court. What is it? Supreme? Loyola Ramblers. What is a Rambler? I would settle for that. A Loyola Rambler. A a rambler? I would settle for that A loyal rambler

A girl that's chatting your ear off What about an owl? A hoo-hoo motherfucker? No You don't like big hoo-hoos? No, someone who's always like Who, who, who's on your phone? Bring all of them Bring all of them

I'm the Mohawk guy in France. That's Cliff DeMartino. Today's episode is also brought to you by Factor Meals. I'm sure a lot of these athletes on the court eat a lot of Factor because their bodies are rocking. It's holiday season. You might be looking for nutritious, convenient meals to keep your energized days jam-packed. Or your jam-packed days energized. I'm sorry.

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You can barely find a parking spot. I was at the grocery store. You look bewildered. You don't look natural. I was at the grocery store, and guess what I saw? Dude with a parrot on his shoulder. Won't have to see that. Won't have to see that.

That sucks. Yeah. Pardon me. That seems like illegal. No, man.. Pardon me. That seems like a legal. No, man. I think it was a service parrot. But yeah, go to Factor. Go to Factor.

Factor can't be beat. Cannot be beat. I thought HelloFresh couldn't be beat. They got beat pretty considerably by Factor. So Factor is the top dog. Head to FactorMeals.com. Again, don't go to the grocery store. They're raising you volume on this music KB50 for 50% off.

That's code KB50 at factormeals.com. KB50. Mook, how we doing? We're doing good. We're doing fine? Reid was just in 204. He's walking around the stadium right now, our pre-cam shooter. I literally can't hear you from here.

Now I can't hear a thing. He was talking about how far away Reed is. Reed's right there. He was just over there. Oh, hell yeah. That's going to be good. It's going to be a good podcast. Boys.

All right. How we doing? You're going to have to get pretty close. We're doing fantastic. How are you? I don't know if this is going to see the light of day. Ambition is what gets me. It will not see the light of day. You don is what... This will not see the light of day.

You don't think so? No, absolutely not. And introduce yourself. Wait a sec. My name is Sam. I am in the Skylight area. I've been a schoolie since 2011. I feel like this is like an AA meeting,

but that is my short resume. Thank you, Mook. What's going on, man? Thanks for coming up here. I'm just here to see a fight. A fight up here? Anywhere. Oh, there man? Thanks for coming up here. I'm just here to see a fight. A fight up here? Anywhere. Oh, there'll be one.

I'm sure. I'm sure. Oh, Jeff D. Lowe's doing trivia. That's okay. Wait. I heard one of you guys has a gift for Kyle. Yeah. Seriously, it's not a gift of Perth or anything, but I was at a conference in Idaho, and I

was visiting a customer, and I was driving by a town called Shoshone Falls. I am smitten. It is a podunk town. It's lovely, I'm sure. I'm smitten because I know where this is going. I was driving past. Go ahead, Nick. What in your history?

Why Shoshone? What? Shut the fuck up, Jeff. It's my favorite movie quote of all time from a movie that has maybe 10 more famous quotes. I would say 50 more. It is Napoleon Dynamite on the farm when Napoleon's working with the farmhand. He says he can't pay them, but he can. Or maybe he just mentions,

And I always thought it was Sharp Stoney. Someone corrected me. They were like, no, that's a tribe in the Pacific Northwest called Shoshone. And they do have arrowheads. Is that what you have for me? So that is. I stopped at a little gift shop

inside a gas station and they had them there. They had Shoshone Arrowheads right there. I had to bring one back home. I didn't know if I was going to be able to get an in-night, but thankfully the security was top-notch. I don't know if the metal detector is going to get an Arrowhead. Kyle, by all means, this is yours. Oh my fucking God.

It's a piece? Oh, it's a full piece. It's a full piece. Oh, the Arrowhead's at the end. I was like, oh, maybe he forgot the arrowhead gave me a chain. I would still be thankful anyway, but you gave me a chain with an arrowhead connected. That's a win-win. That is incredible.

Holy shit. What a piece. Throw it on. Thanks, brother. I think it's intended for ladies. That's a long ring. You did not have to unsnap that. That's one of the longer necklaces.

Oh, my God. Yeah, dude, this is amazing. And I wanted to wear a chain tonight, too. And it's sharp and stony, too. And I've eaten so much caffeine. Oh, I think it's on backwards. Kyle, you look sick. We're close.

It's on the tightest setting. What about it? Yeah, like dual-wielding credentials, like all-access. All-access credentials and a sharp stony arrowhead. Shoshone arrowhead. What a fucking gift. That's amazing. I love you, man.

Yeah, man. I have no gift thank you so much you're welcome bro that's amazing I love you man yeah man I have no gift unless you want to trade for a Pokemon oh yeah Pokemon Go yeah I miss Shiny Wooper well I got you

a Mexican Lucho too yeah I would like that a lot and that it's a it's a thing it's a thing here yeah

snag me afterwards because I don't have the dust I don't know if I have the dust I'm hyped that was a good gift. Yeah, that's fucking awesome. Those guys are cool. You look good in that piece Okay, no, no, I'll see you yeah We cool Are we cool?

Go. Cool. All right. We had to pivot to my apartment. We're here now. Post-Yak basketball, how are you feeling, boys? Awful. Yeah?

Why? I can feel a deep, deep hurt in my chest. Buddy. Jesus. Before you sat down, you were just like, guys, just a heads up, I'm cranky. I'm cranky as hell. Thanks for the heads up. I'm super cranky. I just want to let you guys know. Do you get cranky? That just killed the mood.

Yeah. Whoa, don't do that. Don't put that. Who would they do that announces they're like, hey, dude, by the way, I'm cranky. Yeah, just so you guys know. I just wanted to, I'm cranky. I was sitting... Yeah, like, just so you guys know. I just wanted to give you a heads up. I was sitting here doing the impression of a British dwarf, and you... Dude, it was killing us. We were laughing our asses off.

Oh, yeah, down here. I was laughing, too. Woodwick. Yeah, his name was Woodwick. Yeah, you do Woodwick, it sounds... How did Woodwick come up? I'm burning a Woodwick over there. Can't you tell the crackle doesn't feel homey?

It sounds like a... Oh, also I changed clothes. For the podcast listeners, think of a big shirt. Stand up. Sure. Yeah, let's get a visual on this. Yeah, that's... Yeah. You look like you're on your way to the Yeezy fashion show.

That is... What is that? An eight? He looks like like a nine yeah yeah a dementor from harry potter that wasn't even the highest number though no no i there was 10x and it was cheaper but i thought 9x was funnier can you like uh plie stand up yeah can you twirl and like oh you dance after this after this verse like yeah what dance after the verse. Yeah. What? Dance after the verse. What verse? Get up, stand up. Where are you now that I need you? Is it sick?

It is literally sick. You look like a patient. Yeah, you look very ill. Yeah, which side of the fence do I look on in Germany? Wait, why is the 10x cheaper? Is it because they feel bad? I have no idea.

I'm pissed that it says 9x on the tag. I wanted 9x's and an L. Yeah, that would have been cool. This place is phenomenal. Thanks, man. It's a weird apartment. It's really it's like an old factory it's cool thanks dude yeah glad you like it i love coming here i don't want to talk about my place but you don't have to in a chest oh you just want to yeah so we walked in and we were just going to immediately go and record the podcast and i just

heard you upstairs yeah i went upstairs immediately there's a spiral staircase yeah gone i didn't even notice yeah we walked in and we all went straight he turned right your room is huge and this is the fact this is besides the fact that it is two stories one man one man biggest city in the second third biggest city up a spiral staircase big bedroom bed drowning in carpet that's how much carpets in there like it's a big ass bedroom you could fit another bed and then like a third and then this is this okay man um this piece is like this is pro day cool this is hgtv this is christopher myself in that that took a long time that looks right um if nick was doing an mtv cribs in the early 2010s what song or beat would be playing um your lipstick is cold and i don't bother rachel don't yeah it would be some alti shit for sure

you make more than me. Whoa. Buy me out. Yeah, I was trying to hype you up. Yeah. This is shit, dude. My two-man crib could fit in this four times over. You live in a safe area. Look outside my window. Tell me what you see.

Don't tell me numbers, but tell me what you see on the road. This is not a bad area. Tell me what you see. Don't tell me numbers, but tell me what you see on the road. This is not a bad area. Tell me what you see on the road. I see a blood splatter. It's not bad. No, what do you see? There's a perfect circle from those donuts that the street youths do.

Oh, yeah. Your apartment is closer to David Beckham's than mine is to yours and that's facts no it's not yeah i live in a weird area this is incredible all right man i don't want to make the episode about this at all no no it's fine i just don't want i'd no um cool what else do you want to talk about isn't uh brandon sleeping here brandon's staying here tonight an incredible couch rudy you have the

miniature version of this you have the tiny little version of this no i have a perfectly normal regular size version of this this is regular size this is not regular size yours is like the um kind of like yeah yours is like a kind of like. Yeah, yours is like if a kid did a science fair on my couch. Yeah, yeah. His model. It's like the Westworld town of his couch. Do you think they shrunk people in Westworld? Fuck.

I've been reading plots on HBO. They don't shrink you in Westworld, do they? In the command center, they have a hologram of the whole map. So you could say my couch is the hologram version. I've been doing a lot of references lately. You've been doing a lot of size comparisons, which is cool. I like those. I like when they do it

with stars. No, this is like an overgrown tumor version of my couch. This is a runaway terminal illness. Your couch's end table is the thing that goes in the middle of pizza boxes to keep it from collapsing. Yeah, yeah. Jokes on you, I don't have an end table. I don't have an end table. Your couch is so small it can't have a beginning table.

Not even an end table. There's no beginning, middle, or end to your couch. This is like an architectural digest video yeah like jeremy allen white would show this i swear if this was in manhattan he would be showing this good ass place i feel i feel i respect you more i've never respected you until now. Love a good place. It does make me respect a fellow man more.

Yeah, this apartment is so cool. He invited me over to play chess. Yeah, and his chess board has AI. What does that mean? You touch the pieces and it tells you the best move. Fucking Westworld shit. It is Westworld shit. That one is Westworld shit yeah uh basketball is uh the

hardest thing in the world humiliating yeah and i was chatting up the the seven footer he's a cool guy ah fuck that guy yeah yeah fuck the heart dude he went way too hard i told him like hey like he asked me like man to man what should i do like should i go hard should i go soft i was like the funniest possible scenarios if you went hard as hard as possible so here the funniest to us that know like the behind the scenes of like okay the game is this and he's like guys i won't do it this time i won't do this time he comes out and does it 10 times harder that's super funny they made me so angry though i was pissed it makes you feel less of a man. I want to come show him my apartment. Yeah.

Well, he would actually. You could fit a couple of people. Yeah. Your ceilings are made perfectly. You could just get him over here. Yeah. Should we hit him up? Yeah.

He's smaller than my couch. I have an eight foot couch. No way. He couldn't. I have an eight foot couch. He couldn't sit on your couch. He absolutely could sit on my couch. He's not two of us.

You and me sat comfortably and watched Starship Troopers. Were you touching? Yeah, our thighs were rubbing. Not a big enough couch. No, we were not. I have a bigger couch. Yeah, you do. I have a bigger couch.

You have the biggest couch out of all of us. In the closet of this place. Enough. Your apartment's like an insane asylum. It's like 88% padding. Yeah, that's true. It's a lot of comfy stuff. It's an insane asylum. You can like 88% padding. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. It's a lot of insane asylum.

Like you can't, there's no tank on your toilet. Yeah. Wait, there's no top on the backside of your toilet. Just see where does the water come from? It's like a cool, like a fascinating thing to witness.

There is no inside. Look at plumbing or it's like an industrial plumbing system like I mean water come from when it refills dude you got me I got no idea send us a video of you flushing your toilet yeah I might have one what I don't hope you don't

don't want to see this at all I said my mom my shits love you mom what I told you I gotta leave him alone man he's cranky this at all? I sent my mom my shits. Love you, mom. What? I told you. Leave him alone, man. He's cranky. He's cranky. Yeah, dude. You are. I need to get on my

Wi-Fi. It's Nicky's Cribo. I've been trying to call it my Cribo. What's your password? I don't want to say it right now. It's going to be like Bazinga. Shut the fuck up. No, no, no. It's not Fortress of Solitude 1.

No, no, but there's some like-minded folk in this building. Republicans be tripping guest. And then there's also... Republicans be tripping. And then Philly John. I mean, Democrats be tripping when they're walking down the steps of Air Force One. Yo, guys.

Moosey B. Dude, do you think we could just start a branch off podcast where we go to different buildings and read every single Wi-Fi name? Easily. Yeah, it'll go crazy. That's going to be like the new how much do you pay in rent? Yeah. What's your Wi-Fi name? What's your Wi-Fi name?

Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of leg room on that. Nikki's Cribbo. Mm's cribbo you have a guitar this is built to fuck no this is built to fuck before we started recording you said everything i've ever bought is to try to get laid that's not true you literally said that what what about that big ass sword that's cool wait you have wait a minute we have the same sword as well but yours is tiny no that was a consolation sword that a very nice fan sent me because i spent six hundred dollars on a replica sword that didn't it's the same model sword it just just it's our swords are

the same as our couches either i got duped or it's still being welded and crafted but it's been six months how you like that kyle and also i got us some new decorations i got a new weapon i got life-size blades of chaos from god of war for the studio i want to fill up yeah so our studio is not quite there yet no. All of them kind of look the same right now. Rudy brought in Blades of Chaos. Kyle, you bought a weapon? I bought a needler. That's the most disappointed anybody's ever seen.

Zach Wilson under to 15 and a half. Zach Wilson's under bought you a needler? You were sharp on Thursday. Why are you disappointed? Nobody's ever been sad. Let's not start the narrative that I think Zach Wilson is a bad quarterback.

You just said he sucks. Yeah, I think I took one to the face and then said that. I think he sucks. What do you mean you took one to the face? I took a sip of booze to the face. Oh, okay. Yeah, you were ripping nicks.

For mere 10 to 20 minutes before. And I said that Zach Wilson sucks. He does not suck. He sucks compared to Jalen Hurts. Okay. He sucks compared to Patrick Mahomes. Yeah. He doesn't suck compared to...

Brett Ripien. Josh Dobbs. He does suck compared to Josh Dobbs. Oh, you're a Dobbs guy. Yeah. I love Josh Dobbs. He does suck compared to Josh Dobbs. Oh, you're a Dobbs guy. I love Josh Dobbs. He sucks compared to... He doesn't suck compared to Baker Mayfield.

Whoa, yeah? Yeah, they're closer in skill level than... They're pretty close. Can you put out your quarterback rankings? Oh, can we tier quarterbacks? The fact of the matter is, which quarterback hasn't looked like dog shit in one to two games this year?

Zach Wilson. Yes, he has. He's a good... Oh, he's looked good in two games. Hasn't looked like dog shit in one to two games? Played perfect football. There's not even perfect. There's not. Very good. Mahomes has had dog shit games. Burrows had dog shit games. of two games. Played perfect football. Not even perfect. There's none.

Very good. Mahomes has had dog shit games. Burroughs had dog shit games. Jalen has. Jalen has. Dog shit for Jalen? Weirdly, he threw three picks

and lost to the Jets. Josh Allen is at dog shit games. Allen is at horrible games. Burroughs is horrible. Russell Wilson has not had two dog shit games. Russell Wilson is underrated, which is crazy.

Jared Goff maybe has had one. I've been betting on... He had a really bad two interception. Against the Ravens? Yeah. Dude, you're a big football guy. I love football. I'm done.

You got to get back on betting. No. Oh, my God. It's like discovering MDMA. I went like... I went like 0-30. That's not the... Losing the parlays, these crazy parlays. Yeah, that's going to... You know... the part losing the parlays these crazy parlays yeah that's gonna

you know when you know you're gonna lose but there's an outside chance that you're gonna win the excitement the thrill is worth every penny do you regret getting into gambling after like it could have been lucrative for you no because i exhausted all my options i see this as a drug that i haven't tried yet i haven't built a tolerance for. So what's next after gambling? That's the problem. Yeah, that's why I'm like, am I done at 33? Am I done for it with pleasures and euphoria? No, you already tried

to give up pleasures and euphoria. You even tried that. You tried to give up pleasures and euphoria as a drug. As a pleasure. Giving up euphoria was a drug for you. Right. And I exhausted that because that my tolerance for that is too high so this is yeah i'm like this might be my final ride with pleasure this is your last pleasurable thing do you like puss sex i didn't want to be crass

yes yes um that's that's evergreen yeah but there's like things that boost it like is sex better after a big parlay win no that's the thing about parlays the win is is completely irrelevant it's it's the fact that you get the root for it when i talked this, the two for three on a parlay is a better feeling than hitting the parlay. No, dude! And this is where the... This is where humans are a little bit

in denial. The sweat is more up and down, so you feel more. But hitting it, hitting like a first touchdown... I hate the sweat. Before every movie, I look at the plot synopsis. If you're gambling for the wrong reason, that is you need the money and the money changes your life. If you have a set budget for gambling

and it doesn't change your life drastically either way if you win or lose, watching the rest of the game when you're two for three on a touchdown parlay is better than just hitting it quick. I get what you're saying. Excitement is a better feeling than victory. That's true.

You've been on a take hot streak. What's a better feeling? I've been on a take hot streak. I agree with that. The excitement is better. And we all know this. The idea of something is always better than the real thing. Right.

I do agree with that. This has been tried and true. Yeah, it is better. And we all know this. The idea of something is always better than the real thing. Right. I do agree with that. And this has been tried and true. Yeah, it is true. You're right. You're right. The pursuit is where the fun is. You're right. Neglecting the importance of excitement.

I'm betting for my life, which is not great. That's not good. But that's your fault. That's what I'm not counting the people who are betting for their life betting it's not for my life but for to keep money in my account like i hit a parlay sunday where it was like if i didn't hit that i was probably off gambling for a few weeks you know what i mean but i hit it and that sweat was spectacular so you're betting monetarily he's betting for the thrill i'm not like betting you said you're betting for your life well my livelihood is betting i love betting on sundays like there is no better feeling than placing the parlay how much have you been to

like oh shit i'm going to get evicted if no it's never been that okay but it's been like i might have to take two weeks off okay that's fine which in my opinion is like sundays are my favorite day of the week which is my life yeah all right fuck it i'm back in yeah let's get back in and you didn't leave i've never overlapped oh my god you you looked at us as one you started fucking with me more he respects you yeah he respects you this is the time yeah and i want us to start betting together sharing our picks i want to see it like freaky with it too. I'll send you 10 parlays.

You send me 10 parlays and we'll both send at the same time the response, I'm going to tell yours too. And then we're at 20 parlays deep and I'm more excited when yours hits than when one of mine hits. And then this is, yeah,

then we're fucking inseparable. The parlay swap. Fuck. Damn. For the podcast viewers, Kyle and I just became friends. Holy shit. All it took was a big ass apartment. And three years. I was like, yeah, this is a sick apartment.

I'll fuck with this dude. I'll fuck with this dude, Nick. Yeah, you got to start putting me on. You fuck with my hat? The Haas boys. Haas. That's right. Whether you're hitting the gym or going to work out in the town,

it's time to gear up, step out, and show the world what it means to be the Haas. Born and raised in Chicago, Haas is an athleisure streetwear brand that has something for everyone. Rudy, you were wearing the Haas sweatshirt yesterday. So were you. Yeah, I still have the sweatshirt in my bag.

I was wearing the hat. I got those shorts. High praise. Yeah, it's phenomenal. Every time. Every time. No, but everybody looked good in it. The hats are sick.

I love these hats because I have a big ass head. And this actually, I like the shape and it doesn't, you know, it helps. I can't wear the little guys like that. They have sweats, joggers. They're coming out with flannel soon too. We really like those guys over there. We met them.

They're anus guys too, so support them. They're the dudes. The sweatshirt, I wore it last night, so I'm not going to wear it two nights in a row right that's how good it is yeah support them

local business Chicago and they're awesome really really their product isn't local though what's that mean product is fucking damn

it can take off it's international yeah that's mad yeah it's a Hoss the vision's borderless go to bethehoss.com check out their athletic line

and leisure wear use code barstool for 20 off the whole store be the hoss today 20 yeah that's a good deal pretty good pretty good store you get that saves you money for uh parlays in the future that kyle and i are going to be betting can't wait um what else we got boys oh you got rekt on twitter again you're not huh yeah i got what what you got wrecked on twitter again at what point is this guy gonna get left by his wife this is my favorite thing in the world it is great but it is he's one away from using the kid as a scarecrow like a problem oh literal scarecrow yeah to just to dunk on you uh the guy that tweeted the guy that tweeted um his son in the wheelchair has thicker legs parentheses and he's never walked which i said no shit um was back yeah so so it's a it's a dad it's a hot

it's an attractive dad dad his son was so an adorable it took a while to realize how hot the dad was it did yeah because the the theme of the the post was how his wheelchair-bound adorable son had thicker calves than you which was and it was very funny um it was funny it got a lot of likes something you wouldn't expect from a wheelchair bound little boy will compton bumped it will compton retweeted it it went crazy it's funny as fuck this guy tweets a picture of his son nfl player retweets it. You think it's done. Maybe the wife is like, okay, honey, maybe lay off. No. He tweeted me last night.

Yeah. He tweeted me his son lying in bed. It's one of the two things he could do. And his son was under a blanket because winter is approaching and on the blanket was the photo of me dizzy batting which is my legs over top of his covering the boy so see the outline of his legs eclipse beyond yeah his legs are in like the background of the photo dude and his son is just like you could tell he's fucking annoyed it's like dad please stop me is that is that available in the

in a store no no it is not that's the thing that's a one of that's a one of one yeah wait is that a blanket or a towel and this is he followed that up? But he tweeted the league best of Rafi right after this guy rocks. Wait, best of Rafi? Yeah, the best of Rafi. So this guy's like, you guys, wait, if this blows up, you guys got to check this out. Best of Rafi. Oh, Kyle. Another photo just dropped of you.

No. Oh, my God. it's you my penis is there a picture of your dick out there no this isn't always on the forefront of my frontal cortex it's my what is it i think i've oh Adventual. You're older than him. Yeah, that's... That is... Yeah. Oh my God. What an adventual. No, it's so dude.

I saw that. I'm the one saying that's mad funny. Yeah, you saw that? You didn't tell us you saw that. I'm willing to concede that's this couch versus my couch. Yeah. Nick's couch, Rudy's couch. Pull that up. Is that

manipulated? No, it's a screenshot of the video. That's natural, baby. No tampering. He's jacked, too. Kyle. I've been waking up at six every day, burning out my chest, my traps, my delts, my thighs, my tris.

It doesn't matter, dude. It's all for naught. What do you mean? It is all for for not what are you talking about dude you have a you have an awesome cool job you're happy you have an awesome beautiful girlfriend you have a cool apartment you have a cat i'm saying like i'm i'm lifting obviously for for vanity reasons sure to look better in front of compared to my fellow man where was that that put? In the chat rooms? It's in the forums. Yeah. Yeah, that's something.

I mean, that guy's 7'1". Nobody's looking tall next to 7'1". He played at Boston College. Yeah. Power 5, D1. He's closer. Oh, dude. To the 7'1"? I think it was the Brian's

Wait a minute so I'm 6'2 He's 7'1 Am I closer to him in height Than you are to me in height Wait a minute No He's Is he 7'6 or 2

He's not 7 seven six or four what does he seven four seven six those are the two options yeah which one is i don't i don't even know how i just searched the hut pulled up like a natural geographic photo. Yeah. Oh, man. How much time have we been going? We got 25 on here. Okay. You think we're good?

I am nervous about what's usable. Hey, listen. We'll just delay the pod if it doesn't work. I mean, I'm down to keep going. I'm in no rush. No, same. I have nothing to talk about, though. I don't know if you're too cranky.

Yeah, are you too cranky to keep going? I'm not cranky. Okay. I meant to say tired. I'm in no rush. No, same. I have nothing to talk about, though. I don't know if you're too cranky. Yeah, are you too cranky? Keep going. Okay. I meant to say tired. I'm not cranky. I wanted to say cranky because just in case I was being irritable earlier. I didn't think you were irritable. That's a synonym of cranky. Yeah. You were doing it as you were running defense for maybe possible future issues. Yes. Yeah.

I just wanted to give you guys a heads up. I might be a little bitchy. You're still doing it, though. I know you're doing it. I just want to give you guys a heads up i might be a little bitchy you're still doing it i know you're doing i just want to give you a heads up um do you think you'll ever interact with dave portnoy again yeah i need redemption eventually but at the moment i think you give it up at the moment right now i don't want i don't look at him in the face like we entered the me and reed were in the green room early and it was like an intimate like only a few people were in't look at him in the face. Me and Reed were in the green room early, and it was an intimate, only a few people were in there. Dave was in the corner holding court. I went right to the back of the room.

I think you did good. I think you did good. I mean, if you rewind the tape, KB, one of your first interactions with Dave was brutal. Dave was so brutal to you that you gasped live on the radio. Yeah, it was a weird noise you made. Right? Yeah, I made like a crazy guttural noise.

Yeah, so I think you did good. I think you actually did good, but yeah, you don't want to talk to Dave. Talking to Dave is not the goal. Yeah, I have no, like, I need to speak to him right now, but eventually, hopefully, I make another impression, and it's better no that's your problem yeah no what you did was best case scenario because i've seen him in so many

interactions just outright brush the person off you're right there were some people that were coming at me they're like how could you not handle that So your options are what you did. Like pretty mild. Yeah. He made you look a little stupid. A little stupid as hell. And then just a little stupid as hell. A little stupid as hell. And then people thought it was funny.

A little stupid as all hell. You're searching for an unreachable goal. When would he ever be like, oh, Mook's the man? He's not going to say anyone's the man. Yeah, you're right. In a casual conversation, he's not going to be like, oh, let me give props to this random dude. He doesn't do that. Ever.

Does he? Yeah. Unless you're Doug Flutie. You're thinking of it like the Joker. Doug Flutie. He loves Doug Flutie. Oh, I didn't know that. it like tom brady the joker flutie he loves doug flutie oh i didn't know that we're tight like that and so i know that shit about him he you're thinking about it like if in the joker when he has that like 30 minute sequence where

he's in a relationship with his neighbor and he's like oh this super hot uh african-american chick wants to fuck me and then you can say black later in the movie later in the movie you realize that he fantasized about the whole thing he's saying after okay it's the super hot ebony black chick is is not gonna fuck him and it's a whole fantasy that's the world you're living in don't live in that world yeah i i was just myself i wasn't trying to force anything and i think i think it was like embarrassing but it also like was a moment. So I was happy about it. Right. It was funny.

I guess. But I also felt like the biggest idiot. You posted the clip. Yeah. Because I got to wear that. Yeah. You got to wear that one. I think you did good.

Right? Yeah. You got to wear it. Nick told me immediately. I said that was good. I said you clip it and tweet it. Did people come out of the woodwork? You could do the yak every day, but as soon as you interact with Portnoy, it's motherfuckers

from Montgomery County. So many people I haven't spoken to in years were like, why didn't you call him a strap job to his face? I don't know what a strap job is. What does that mean? A guy in Philly, notoriously, I actually know him, shout out Tony Trent, called Dave a strap job across the street while Dave was doing a pizza review. What is a strap job? A strapper?

You're a fucking strapper, dude. Was it like a successful own? It's like calling someone an idiot. It's like a jabroni or a strap job. Okay. It's a classic clip. Did Dave get fucked up from that? He was just so confused.

Hey, you're a strap job? Yeah, fucking strap job. It sounds brutal. Like, is that like an insane asylum dig? Like you're strapped on? No, no. I think it would probably like... It's more of just, look at this asshole.

Okay. Fucking strapper. Yes, yeah. I'm more confused. Yeah, me too. That's Philly, I guess. Yeah. That's Philly.

Mm-hmm. Philly, yeah. What? What's that? What's that mean? You guys have it like that? Yeah, we don't speak English. Are you guys the toughest town?

Are you from the toughest town? No. I take pride in Philly, but there there's really things are the toughest town yeah there's guys that are like i'll die in philly fuck you dickhead philly might be the thing i think it might be i think we're more ride or die philly than you i'm not i don't want to be the guy that's like yeah fucking fuck with philly we'll fuck with you dickhead because that's not like i'm not that outgoing guy but there's guys that are like die hard on that shit i'm afraid of philly i think it'silly. I think it's the town

with the biggest heart and hustle. I don't like that. That's not tough. Having a big heart isn't tough. I like AJ Brown and Devontae Smith. It's a blue collar. I like those dudes a lot. They're awesome. How come I'm the only one that can say

Donovan and spell it? Yeah, I can do it too. Donovan? You said Donovan. You spelled it wrong every different way. I said it wrong? Donovan? You said Donovan. You said Donovan. How is it?

Donovan. That is open for interpretation. My dad calls him Donovan. And my pop-up. Wait, it's not Donovan. It's D-O-N. My dad calls him Donovan. And my pop-up. Wait, is it Donovan? It's not Donovan. It's Don.

It's Donovan? Yes. Nah, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. You're usually good with pronunciations. No, I fucked up Arnold Bidham. Really? Is that not you? No, no, no.

Oh, no. My mom did text me this morning and she said, do you still have a job? Portnoy was pretty mean to you. And then I didn't answer and she followed up with, you okay? Oh, no. Answer your mom.

I did respond. I said, yes, haha, I'm good. And then she just said, wasn't a good podcast for you. Ooh, Jesus. Mama. God damn, mom. So does she consume everything? I think so.

Say hi to her. Hi, mom. Listen, embrace it. Oh yeah? Yeah. Embrace it? Yeah. Because they have good points moms every time my mom hears me say fuck my dad says she goes she doesn't like it and i say i use it as a crutch

my parents haven't given me shit on anything besides me saying jesus christ like yeah don't take the lord's name that's it my mom didn't like my busty Britney tattoo no yeah I'm sure she hated that did not like it Mook what can we do how much money can we raise to get you to convert to Islam salas alaykum

oh man 50 dollars sure no 3000 fuck Man. $50? Dollars? Sure. Yeah. No. $3,000. Fuck. I meant $50,000.

Yeah, I know. No, not $30,000. $10,000. No. $15,000. No. What would be bad about it? I'm just, I'm a Christian boy. Yeah,

but you got, how bad would your parents be? They would fucking kill me. But it's like the same starting point. Are your parents awake right now? Maybe. Can you call your mom and just be like, Hey,

it's nine. I just left this ceremony. The guys pay me 10 grand to convert to Islam. Okay. Yeah. We'll do that. And we would too. Yeah.

I left a ceremony. I just left like this ceremony. On Islamic now? Yeah. We'll do it. And we would too. Yeah. I left a ceremony. I just left like this ceremony. On Islamic now? Yeah. I, the guys, like I lost a bet, but they ended up paying me.

Like I could only get the money if I converted to Islam. Okay. Like I don't have to practice, but technically I am. Wait. So I lost a bet. So you lost a podcast bet and I have to like convert to Islam. Like I don't have to go to...

Should he be leaving the ceremony now? I don't have to go to Mecca or anything. No. But I have to go to Minneapolis. Yeah. Yeah. Minneapolis. To get the conversion cloak.

Yeah. And then say honestly they had some good points. No, no, no, no, no. Act like reluctant. Just be like, I I just gotta do it it's like a stupid fucking podcast prank and uh they're doing it to me again mom

mommy don't say I don't know about that hey mom what's the matter how'd you know Hey mom What's the matter How'd you know You lost your job Did not lose my job But I lost a podcast bet

A podcast what A bet On the podcast I don't get it We made a bet on the podcast if i couldn't make a half-court shot tonight oh i didn't see that you're not going to want to watch so what happened i just left a ceremony um i am converting to islam to Islam. That went well, man. I don't think we can keep that.

I don't think that can stay in the podcast. Oh my God. If we cut that out of the podcast, the listeners just called his mom, told her he was converting to Islam, and it went really, really, really, really badly. She acted like I shot someone in the face. Worse. Sorry we made you

do that. You didn't give up. You did not give up. Yeah, you kept going. I was in the pocket. I was good. That was good work by both of you. That was very genuine of her. You heard the feeling

come out. I don't think it was too, it wasn't embarrassing by anyone. That was an appropriate reaction for a mother. She's a godly woman. She doesn't want her son to convert to Islam. Oh my god. She called me a clown. I tried to make myself fucking miniature in this corner. Dude, I was shrinking.

At one point she just said, fuck you. And then you try to speak and she's like, no, fuck you. That's the Philly dog in her dude. That's the dog. How often does she say she loves you?

Every time we talk on the phone. Did she end up that one with that? No. Are you in trouble? Yeah I think I'm gonna be in trouble. She just said you're gonna regret what you just did. She just actually threatened you you oh she's pissed about the fact that you even joked about it i well you did say they got the only time they've been mad at you is just when you said jesus christ and then you just called her and renounced their

religion yeah oh my dad's gonna be so pissed oh he's gonna be so mad at me. Why did you do that? I didn't know it would be that bad. No, that was good. I thought she would have known that like... That was funny. Apparently she thinks I'm just a fucking absolute jester. Dude, I mean you are a professional clown. We all are professional circus freaks and clowns.

Yeah, but she thinks low of me. Oh my god. That'll change oh my god she was dude that was uh she'll come around are you getting yelled at right now she said well you had me saying fu to you not a good look for me as it's not going in the pod i was thinking it might i don't know i was thinking that that should probably stay in can you guys say you love my mom? Yeah, we love your mom.

She's fucking awesome. Yeah, that was hilarious. She's great. That was amazing. And guess what, Mook's mom? I'm a good Christian boy, and I always will be. I'm sticking to Catholicism specifically. That's fine.

I went to a Catholic school. So you're the only outlier. And a Jewish preschool. No, she's a great lady, good sport. We're sorry that we asked him to do that. We didn't make him do that. He kind of jumped at the opportunity. Yeah, that was...

You kind of went... What? I'm just telling her she reacted appropriately. Yeah, tell her you're also a little cranky. Yeah, let her know you're a little cranky. Oh my god, dude. That was brutal brutal reed how are you feeling over there yeah that blew my hair she hated you for a split second yeah it's a lot it's a that's always fun

to do with your family and the person that loves you unconditionally yeah publicly you know what mom's probably getting pretty tired let me go give her a jolt yeah what's the one thing she loves oh yeah god yeah dude you sold it so well with the i told you the minneapolis thing was selling that was crazy yeah and then you're like yeah some conversion the cloak yeah that ship she that set her off you were fueling the fire knock on my door yeah can you grab that that's odd odd. That is super odd. I've never had anybody knock on my door. What if it's the hut? It's the Islam guys. Oh my God.

What if it's the shirt? Yeah, what if it's the shirt? Child Protective Services, you're in that shirt. I feel so bad. Oh, fuck. Mommy, I love you. What's happening? This is Reeed's responsibility yeah

you should grab the door just leaving it to reach fuck nixon the 9x wait nick you gotta get over there yeah you. Yeah, you gotta take this home. I don't know. Yeah. So someone came over at 845 on a Wednesday to tell you they're having people over. Yeah, that's nothing then.

Yeah, I did too, but he didn't know my apartment number. I just had to scramble because someone knocked on the door. My first impression of my neighbor can't be in a 9X. Yeah. Thanks for handling that, Reed. Good job, Reed. He's a really good neighbor.

Party in two weeks. What's going on, Mook? I just feel like a piece of shit. No, you... Why? Let me... Here's the deal. I just feel like a piece of shit. No, you, why? She, let me, here's the deal. She, she's proud of you.

She knows it's a joke. Yes. She's more worried about how she looks. Your mom loves you. She was like, this was recorded. All the boys heard me. I almost gave her a heart attack,

dude. Yeah. And she, she resents you for that. And she will. And that resentment will linger. If I go home for Thanksgiving, she is going to hold that over my head the entire time. That will linger. I'm going to have to buy her flowers.

That's a memory. You have to buy her flowers and just be like, sorry, I joked about converting to Islam. Put that on a cake. Yeah. If only I made that $500 from the act today. Oh, brutal, man. I'd send her a fucking giant bouquet. Why'd you do that?

What's your government name? What the fuck, man? What are you trying to get at? What's your government name? I want you to leak it. I don't want to. He says it's not leaking. I don't want to leak it

because I don't want people finding my mom or my brother or my dad okay fair yeah i think a lot of people your venmo name is your government and i wanted to hype that up i don't yeah so that's like an issue if i ever i don't change your venmo name because you could you could have made bank yeah yeah but i also like i can i say something honestly yeah i appreciate all of the listeners that support and have been nice to me because i know the internet is a bad place sometimes yeah but we're very lucky and i'm very appreciative because they're incredible people enjoy all the listeners you guys are fucking awesome yeah thank you no i'm very appreciative it's awesome so like i don't want to ask for anything else i'm just happy to be here happy to be like in the mix yeah and plus

once you there once we hit our 20 parlays exactly i'd rather can't wait to share the parlays i want to earn it on sunday on my big ass couch sweating out bets you do have a big ass couch how would you have a big couch no i'm very curious to see your home how's the piper's room um it's good we got the the things hung i got it right yeah i got the pain you got the art mounted i guess and then uh she has her pictures she has her own uh jets jersey oh Oh, that's cute. What number? Wait. Doesn't it? P. Jones.

Just dropped. It just dropped. Just dropped? 20 minutes ago. Jets jersey. I didn't. Let's check that. Are you high right now?

No, but when I smoke in the morning, it just doesn't leave yeah you've been high all day a little bit that's fine a little bit that's fine we're gonna test new kush yeah oh tomorrow we have a creative kush coming tomorrow i was talking to hank he requested to be on if we do a podcast where we test the kush. Of course. Of course. Hank comes out of the woodwork. Yeah. Anything else, boys? He's got the weirdest DM.

Yeah, that's all I got. What'd you get? I'm all set. The weirdest DM? Say no. No. There we go. Yeah.

All right. God bless. God bless. God bless. Love you guys.