A New Untold Story - Angels In The Outfield - A New Untold Story: Ep. 340

Episode Date: April 20, 2023

Baby Jeters, robbery, suck it, radio shaq, and r/showerbeers. Ads: Gametime - Download the Gametime app or go to https://barstool.link/GametimeApp, enter your email, and redeem code UNTOLD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply) Barstool Store - Shop now at https://store.barstoolsports.comYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, A New Untold Story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad-free on Amazon Music. untold story I knew untold story it's a fresh big untold story I knew untold story you doing the clap now? I just did it right? I just did it, right?

I've done it, I think, for over 200 episodes. I waited three seconds. Three seconds? I have a gas bubble that needs to fart pop. I need to pop it with a fart. 48 hours. You said you need to fart pop? You know, the gas bubbles that you have to fart to ease the pain.

Fart. It's not like that. I don't get to control. Today's episode is brought to you by Game Time. We love those guys to death at Game Time. It's the exclusive ticketing partner of Barstool Sports. You knew that. You knew that.

Malasek knew. Mook knew. I think everybody knows the exclusive ticketing partner of Barstool Sports, and they all know that we love it. Created by fans for fans. It's a ticketing app that makes it easier than ever. Did you just fart? No.

I thought that actually helped. If I fart, it won't necessarily cure this gassiness, this pain that I'm having. I could, but it's not necessarily. Yeah, I still feel it. Damn. Well, if you want to go to a Yankees game, Mets game, it doesn't matter. It's possible with the GameTime app. The biggest last minute price drops can be found on seats you thought you could never buy.

The purchase process takes 10 seconds. What is that sound? What's the noise? I think Billy's working out in the PMT studio I hear music should I go talk to him and you film me and then we can see what happens

that works I'll do the ad Malisa can you follow him you're going to go work out aren't you no I'm going to see what he's doing see if he needs help with anything to stop the noise

as soon as possible give him a spot we can't podcast with that thump it's a loud thump and it's the spot. We can't podcast with that thump. It's a loud thump. And it's the base of... I can't tell the song. But the purchase process just takes two taps,

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Enter your email and redeem code UNTOLD, U-t-o-l-d for twenty dollars off your first purchase of course of course terms are going to apply but yes code untold twenty dollars off your purchase i know kyle's going to be lifting yeah we we might not see him back here for sure the music's just going he's going to turn up the music yep oh wow i just heard a weight drop yeah big thump i can see him back here for sure. The music's just going to, he's going to turn up the music. Yep. Oh, wow. I just heard a weight drop.

Yeah. Big thump. I could see him going in there and like sarcastically lifting with Billy. Like, this is awesome. I'm glad you're doing this during work. Yeah. And then sarcastically lift. You think he's going to sarcastic? Kyle won't sarcastic lift.

He'll try to pass it off as a sarcastic lift, but it will just be a regular lift. That'd be like my favorite kind of dude, like a sarcastic lifter. Yeah. He's like, Oh, did I push this up? Oh, I didn't even realize I had a pump in fucking.

Yeah. Just to teach all the jocks a lesson. I became better at lifting and being an adult and just be like fucking bunch of jocks. Yeah. What'd you do. You guys. I've got so fucking smacked.

Were you like smashing things? Like there's loud thumps. What? There's loud thumps. You trying to wrap them no what was making the noise goes this it was this making a note that didn't make noise gotta do like 20 what is our business starts creaking yeah huh was it this that might be it yeah yeah sorry sorry about that

i was gonna i was hoping i could bench unless you missed that portion no pump yeah you can tell right yeah a little bit i don't know how they were You got it. No pump. Yeah, you can tell, right? Yeah, a little bit. I don't know how they were making that much noise. They're doing pull ups. Pull ups? Yeah, body weight shit.

Calisthenics. I finished the game time ad. Yeah. Great. Great app for tickets. Well, it's done. Yeah. What's going on?

What's up? It's Tuesday. Yeah, it is Tuesday. So. What's going on? What's up? It's Tuesday. Yeah, it is Tuesday. So, you know, we're rushing this. I gotta go to Savannah, Georgia, which... You deserve the vacation. What is their weed laws? It can't be good. Can't be good. In the South. But they have Atlanta juxtaposition.

You think Georgia politics. Well, it's like Houston and Texas. Yeah, I guess. You guess? I'm trying to think of how and Texas. Yeah, I guess. You guess? I'm trying to think of how I'm going to smoke weed down there. You don't have to smoke weed. I don't. Possession of one ounce or less of marijuana is a misdemeanor punishable by up to one year imprisonment and or a fine up to $1,000. Dude, if you go to prison.

Are you addicted to weed? Yeah, I want to sleep on vacation. So are you excited or dreading this? If I can't smoke? No, I'm kidding. I'm very excited. Very excited. What are the chances?

I don't want to jinx you. I'll put some in the suitcase. Okay. Stizzy 40s. What are Stizzy 40s? The glass tips that I've been smoking. Okay. They're stronger than the Baby Jeter.

I walked past a baby jeeter store i didn't know it was a i didn't know that either i didn't know they were brick and mortar store it's a baby jeeter and lights i thought that was like a cool nickname i did too joint i did too and i like saw people smoking and i was like oh fuck is that a baby jeeter like what are you i don't know what that means like very genetically gifted baby jeter yeah like the offspring of it's a baby that fucks only models yes damn he's got he's got a little baby jeter over there get him molested we got ourselves a little baby jeter on our hands yeah um yeah dude do you remember when derrick jeter was playing and they did the graphic on the screen of like the starting lineup

of the women he's dated and they put that on ESPN and it's phenomenal yeah his like right fielder was like a 10 yeah no that would they would have been awful at baseball I don't know why they just didn't throw the pictures of their hot bodies up there

oh yeah it's been terrible do you want to go through it? Yeah. And Mook, I want you to tweet out yours, but I want you to fill out an offensive line. Oh, Jesus. All my Shrek fives. Oh, my God. I think my first pitcher, catcher, and first baseman would be tough.

I'm only having a lot of errors after that e4 e5 you know how the mlb has the rule that one has to make the all-star game i'm having one appearance they're getting one at bat just for the the crap the fan service i don't know what you're talking about but i got angels in my outfit you got bulls in your bullpen don't lie on pussy oh my god i'm trying to think of more baseball references nah um bach i got heavy hitters in my dugout. Heavy hitters in your... That's not bad. Don't practice swing.

Yeah, those are baseball terms. Sunflower seeds. I got donuts on my bat. Okay. What the fuck does any of this mean? Yeah, I get it. If you say it with confidence, people are like, oh, fuck, that was a bar.

That was a fucking bar. Pinch hitter pinch runner yeah pinch runner just a prostitute dude derrick jeter's catcher was minka kelly jeez that was his catcher catcher i have the picture if you want to see it i think mook's looking at it too yeah what is it do you want to pull it up we could pull it up on here if you guys want this is the most dated reference ever minka kelly Mika Kelly? I know the name. I probably know the face. From Regis, right? From what? Regis? That's Kathy Lee or Kelly Ripa.

Mika Kelly was on Regis and Mika Kelly? Mika Kelly from Regis. I mixed them up. She's from... No, she's not from anything like that. No, Mika Kelly's Barbie's little sister. I didn't know that.

No, Mika Kelly's that pro surfer man oh no micka kelly is uh a brunette uh baddie was she um friday night light friday night light oh they were up yeah they're like oh everyone every everyone was like oh i hope she uh fucks this 15 year old. Rooting on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe we can't pull high school dramas are weird like that. The shows. Yeah. And I've had this taken that shit off.

You got shit on. I don't get people getting invested, even if they're older actors getting invested in teen relationships. So we got left field Mariah Carey. I don't know if I put put her in left why is that because you got Tyra Banks DH yeah man

Scar Jo Adrona Lima Beal they gotta do like Jared Fogles and he fills out a minor league team Adrona Lima, Beal. They got to do like Jared Fogles and he fills out a minor league team. Oh, my God. This is insane. This is just on ESPN.

Just like hot girls. He's fucked. Yeah, it's not even he didn't even date them all. No, a few. He just fucked. That is so sick. I wish I was a baby Jeter. Walking in on an infant fucking Tyra Banks.

An infant. That's bad. Yeah, ew. Yeah. Well, I mean, baby's bad, too. Yeah. You ewed infant. No, dude, it's baby.

Don't be fucking gross. Yeah. No, dude, it's baby. Don't be fucking gross. Yeah. Oh, man. But no, do you think I remember, you know, you're doing a couple's trip. Are we allowed to say that? Yeah. And the last couple's trip you went on was with that the other girl a long, long time ago. And it was to Hershey Park and it was bad.

Oh, we're not talking about that. Yeah, we did all the rides without uttering a word. Simple as that. Whole day at the park, no words spoken. This is a little vacation for me, though. Not comfortable. I get to watch Kit Kat. Well, I hid seven clues around the office, varying levels of cryptic. Are you serious?

Those clues will lead to a key, which is also hidden in this office building. Dude, I just won't feed your cat. I'm doing you a favor. Whoever discovers it, it could be anyone can play, gets access to my home and gets to feed my cat, play with my cat. What else can they do? Take whatever's in the fridge. What's in the fridge? They can play with my dual sided axe.

Whatever they want. Whoever finds the key first gets to feed Piper. I bought an axe. Gimli's. Recently? Yeah. Dual? Yeah.

Why? Gimli. What's that? What's a Gimli? You're making a fool of yourself right now. That's like me asking you what a tech fall is. Like, it's everybody should know. What's a tech fall?

Isn't that a wrestling thing? Yeah. Yeah. Gimli is Legolas and Aragorn's boy. He's one of the Fellowship. Did you really get it? Yeah. Not in yet.

Okay. What else have you guys been buying? I mean, I bought a sword from Lord of the Rings. Nowhere to be found. Swords are in right now. All the guys are buying them. Nowhere to be found as in... Kyle, buy a sword right now.

No tracking. I'll buy a sword. You're going to buy a sword right now? No tracking number, nothing. Here we go. You played World of Warcraft. Why don't you get a World of Warcraft sword? I'm looking up swords for sale. Search like uh crazy big swords or something or wild ass swords and what's your limit

400 bucks yeah i guess crazy big swords and we're back to buying things it's what happens when we don't have the one more day to prep. We're just like, oh fuck, might as well spend might as well spend half of rent, not even third of rent. What's the craziest, biggest one? You didn't go to Amazon, did you? I just found one called

the Big Gay Swords, $3,000 out of stock. Out of stock. It's a cool ass sword. It's got a rainbow on it doesn't sound that cool in the meantime what else is going on mook how was nashville oh nashville was awesome dude the the club was great queens uh what what kind of answer is that i got robbed by a queen on friday night you get robbed by a queen robbed by a queen i don't know if i should be talking about this but we hit a gentleman's club after our show after we went out on broadway because we still wanted to drink yeah so we hit a gentleman's club yes yeah byob okay great got a case of beers worst strip club i've ever been to they were fully clothed

that's not a strip club it wasn't there was like some rule in nashville that like they had to have clothes on at a certain point i think you went to a club it was and what were they doing they had poles they were they were doing the thing but they had those at like club kryptonite in myrtle beach they had little underage girls in cages dancing in poles okay that okay we didn't do that but what were they wearing we were under age two it was a under 18 club oh foam and all that oh under 18 clubs always had fucking foam yep always sweaty you can't drink but you can get like slick but uh we hit this strip club and uh we all pulled out money just to have it i wanted to like throw it and then when nobody was naked it was like this is terrible this is

boring so i went to get a dance 40 bucks from a clothed woman from a clothed woman yes i went to get a dance 40 bucks i handed her 40 bucks end of the song comes whatever and she's like end of the song comma yeah comes comes the end of the song goes what sorry i'm my brain's foggy yeah i'm sick um song ends she's like you're not going anywhere and that's awesome she picks up my wallet and she pulls out the rest of the money that i pulled out from the atm and go sit back down and i'm like hammered i'm just like okay and that just worked and it just worked so what happened if you said no i have no i tried to say no kind of so you just forcefully

grabbed your wallet she took my wallet i guess that was like they're allowed to do that yeah and she was like you're not going anywhere reaches into my wallet pulls out like 120 bucks and i just and you got a fully clothed dance fully clothed dance like what was she wearing like a bra and uh like a thong i guess and you paid how much for it 160 dollars hell yeah for like seven minutes you get hard did you talk don't ask him that i mean what what is the point of doing that did you get hard uh i don't get what people want i don't get it either i don't get it either that's like the same as i want to get really hungry but be uh not be able to eat yeah yeah well she was offering like private rooms to

people i was like no fucking way but um we started talking she needs help with her taxes so she gave me her phone number no are you gonna help her today's tax day i might help my queen out i don't know i got uh i got i got robbed too uh two days ago. Really? Yeah, I was walking home past a cemetery right where Alexander Hamilton's buried. And this man comes up to me and he's like, hey, he has a box of Gushers. He's like, hey, can you give him some money for my son's baseball team? And I try to, like, be playful with this older black man. Who do you try to be playful? I was just like your kids team any good

yeah I thought that was cool yeah and he was like what and I was like are they good and I started getting meek I was like I was just I want to know if they were like you know like are they playing well and he was like why does that matter I'm just like oh fuck

and so he has he has this box of gushers like if you give me 20 bucks for their uniforms uh you get three packs of gushers and i was like i don't have any cash he's like my boy over there can venmo and this other guy comes up to me and now i'm like there's one in front of me one behind me and they're like one of them smoking a blunt and then like he hands the blunt to the other guy and then he's like yeah i got a venmo uh and i type in 20 he's like you know 40 would get me a little come on he said you know 40 would get me 30 minutes of studio time and i was like i can't do 40 man i'm sorry i just want to do it for the so he's doing it for his rap career and not as not as fictional kids baseball yeah and so i was

like and he was he was just like well then i mean what's 20 gonna get us and so i typed 20 and he's like nah he takes my phone hits back hits 30 and then sends it to him and i was like and then i was like can i dude i wanted the transaction i think he probably regrets trying to even haggle he could have typed in whatever he could have typed in whatever he wanted but then i was like all right and i put my hand out for the gushers and he's like nah yeah right right in front of alexander hamilton's corpse yeah damn yeah at least i got a fully clothed lap dance. Yep. I didn't even get gushers. Yeah. Didn't even get fucking gushers. But I, you know, if that if the team is real.

Yeah, but I have it's my most recent Venmo. Oh, it's on there. Yeah. Who's this guy? I'm going to fucking give him money to give him money. I'm like, actually, I'll send him a beat. Send this guy a beat. Oh, for real.

Better than money. Priceless. How do I see where I've sent my money? It's an impossible app to navigate. What an impossible app to navigate. I just got to figure out the guy's name. I almost accidentally robbed you too. Oh yeah.

I gave you 300 bucks for a tattoo. You were like, here, I got you. And you Venmo me 200 bucks. Yeah. I totally forgot about the fact that it didn't cost the full amount you gave me. Yeah. Well, yeah. Yeah. Right there.

What's his at name? Here. You could probably say it. i don't anyone else wants to give me i don't want to or they will not know how to trust me 20 tries they won't get it but look other people uniforms suckers oh man oh i don't know if you should pay this guy. Yeah. What does that mean?

Well, that first one was that Coke. Yeah. Coke chocolate. It says yak. Yak is what I. Oh, is it? Oh, it's cognac. Or is it cocaine?

I don't know. Or is it the fellas? It's a lot. A lot of this. Oh, yeah. He Oh, it's cognac? Or is it cocaine? I don't know. Or is it the fellas? It's a lot of this. Oh, yeah. He's a drug dealer. Bleep out his Venmo. Just so, because I know people listening are going to be like requesting him to pay Nick. Oh, yeah.

This could end up getting us killed. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Bleep end up getting us killed. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Censor that. Leave out his name, man. Do like three sensors so they know. Three different sensors at once.

They really shouldn't be able to hear that. Oh, fuck. Three different sensor sounds. Yeah. Wait. So there's a siren going on right now. The siren or the sensor hasn't been updated in a very long time. There's only one sensor.

Yeah. Is that it? No, there's the one that's electrical. Yeah, I've never heard that. Who gets censored that way? There's a... Yeah. Wait, honestly, even since we have two days

for the edit put the black bar over our mouth so they can't wait the black bar over our mouth people will censor with a record scratch on songs they do kind of funny okay yeah so do a record scratch the electronic and then um then the regular sensor we need we need three levels of security on that um now can't do this out on youtube so let me talk to you guys about three chi all the things in life one of the best has to be getting high wherever you want whenever you want without paranoia, consuming some sketchy black market bunk. What's the best way to do that? With 3Chi, of course. 3Chi is the highest quality cannabis products, from their delicious Delta 9 edibles,

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premium THC products. Go to 3Chi.com. That's the number 3-C-H-I dot com. Use promo code ANus15 to take 15% off your order you must be 21 or older to purchase please use responsibly i just scooped some i'm very excited oh hell yeah getting back i like the comfortably numb ones oh they have so much good shit yeah do the vape every night they have gummies brownies drinks drink mixes good ass shit yep all right i'll clap again because i can't have it on youtube you're about to clap no i wasn't yeah you were

you definitely were about to class what was that what was this i was like what the what does that mean clap there we go all right back on youtube we had to just uh rip an ad that we can't say. We just got to text Kyle. Should we announce this? That's real. Beginning of May. Kyle and I are getting sent for man

on the street again. Yep, we're back on assignment. No, we are not doing man on the street again. Oh, damn. Yep, we're back on assignment. No, we are not doing man on the street. That's what we told them we're doing. But now that it's official, we will not be doing that. We convinced them to let us do man on the street for the king's coronation in London. You're going to Britain. What?

Yeah. And we ain't doing no man on the street. We're finding the Queen's big fella. So this is insane. The big fella who just has an email and we talked. Yeah, we talked to the big fella. He denied us, but it was still so cool. And we talked to the guy directing it, John Kelly, and we're going to stake him out.

You know who we're talking about. We're going to lay down stakes and he's going to run out and get him. The massive guy. The unit. Can you pull up the big guy, Rudy? Yeah. British unit should pull it up. That's all you need.

It should be every single O of Google. Wait, so you guys found his email and reached out to him? Yeah. And he wasn't like, he didn't ignore it. He was like, well, it wasn't probably him. And then we were like, hey, I think this would be a once in a lifetime man on the street to go get some lads for the king oh my god what's his title his exact title besides uh he's like a secretary yeah he's the queen's big fella he knows how she likes her tea is the article i read this man knows how the queen likes her tea not not doing so great. Well, it's on my screen.

It's on my screen. It should be up. But it's not. Yeah, so we're going to be gone the 4th to the 7th, I think. Do you have a passport yet? So, yeah, I'm waiting for them to call me. I'm on hold right now. I pressed 1, and they should be calling me soon, and I will have a passport. That's not her. That's not her.

That's her. That's the guy. And we're going to go. I need to get one. Wait, you don't have one at all? It's coming. We have the tickets to go. I know, no. It's just I have to pay a lot to get it.

Yep, I did that too. That seems impossible. Look at him, look. Kyle, for the listeners the people not on youtube can you describe him no i wish i could no ad there's no adjective what would you even be you'd have to use like four new, like brand new adjectives. I think you could only make like the best way I could describe him in an audio format is like a slide whistle. Just like. But I don't even know what that would. He's a.

I don't know what it is. It's like you inflated. It's a different type of size. Yes. It defies size. It seems impossible. Now, that's got to be him as a teen. 14 years.

So he is the secretary of the hotel next to the palace. Dude, I want to smoke salvia with this dude. Do some balloons. my god um yeah that's crazy so there might be some dudes that listen from london yeah maybe but uh yeah other than that i don't even know what we're gonna be there for three days uh gotta figure out what to do. So if anybody has any ideas. Yeah. I initially wanted to just like do it and not say anything and just like put out a London video. That would have been funnier. But yeah.

Fuck. Maybe try sensor that. No, people will find out. Yeah. You're going to post on your Instagram story. Yeah, I'm going to have to. You should ask Riggs for advice. He did the Brexit video. Yeah, yeah, have to. You should ask Riggs for advice. He did the Brexit video

a while back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe I will ask Riggs for advice. Nah, I fucked it with Riggs. I drunk what you do. Did you again? Yeah. For the last time?

I say the same thing over and over. What do you say? I say I'll take a bullet for you, Sam. Over and over. No, but he did throw me up on his story. I don't think you could if you even wanted to. I don't think anyone could actually do that. Take a bullet? did throw me up on his story. That was, I don't think you could, if you even want it to,

I don't think anyone could actually do that. Take a bullet. You'd have to be so, you'd have to be so fast. Yeah. Yeah. Lucky. Oh,

if you wanted to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If you want it to, if I was just standing in your way and assassin came and shot you and missed and hit me, I'd claim that I jumped in.

Yeah. You would have to respect that. Thank you. I appreciate that. What else? Oh, well, we do have one more ad today and an ad we got scolded for. Now, so, I mean, we can talk about it now, but I have to be clear when I'm starting the ad. And we but afterwards we could say whatever we want.

OK, let's do the ad and then get into the discussion. All right, I'm officially. Starting. The ad. Guys, guess what? It's time to talk about Barstool House, our favorite, favorite merch, the Barstool in-house products. That's what that means that's what it is uh guys you got to go to the barstool store there's a ton of new hats patch hats retro

snapbacks dad hats trucker hats a hat for any style um you know i like the yak patch hats i like the uh i like the son of a boy dad the boy dad crew i like the um i like the which wow man there's a lot that i really do like up get the dozen card game on there too hell all the questions you could play as us you could play as the teams we all both have cards with power-ups in there it's really cool go to barstool sports store.com or store.barstool sports.com buy some merch the bar if you support i guess the company not necessarily us or necessarily us yeah if you support the company merch to talk about during the ad. Rudy, can you pull up our merch page? Sure thing.

We're on our fucking. All right. Go to brands. Not. Yeah. All right. So let's talk about five of the shirts we have up here we have the uh the untold story black shirt tommy pickles one shirt that's it and this is the worst part is this is an older shirt and this is the one of the only ones that did break. Yeah. And this one shattered into a million pieces.

Shattered into a million pieces. But yeah, we do have a deliverable that we have to do a tick tock of promoting our merch that's available in the store. Yeah. So we'll do we'll do that to one shirt in the store. But but if you want a lot of shirts you could go to um i guess click on any of them and we'll have it okay let's just pick a good one here any of them yeah no you know don't do that okay well i guess i said any click another yeah that'll do a lot yeah wait scroll down scroll down scroll down scroll down can you scroll down please i'm scrolling okay okay 25

that's not bad yeah yeah yeah alright yeah so we had shirts I don't know what to yeah what can you do I want tea

but no we'll do the TikTok and we'll we'll sell the fuck out of our one shirt I guess no no no it's fine it's all good perfectly fine I don't know where they all went but that's okay

that's okay that's alright just make more, I guess. Why? I don't know. Nah, I'm chilling. What you got? You got a gas bubble?

No, just gulping. Alright. What are we doing when's that deliverable due we're gonna have to do it after this uh yes all right that's fine we just need better merch we need a sticker pack up there why i guess we don't need anything. Yeah. I don't need people repping me.

I would... I guess, yeah, buy a lot of the shirt. Buy like three of them. I don't know. That was a good pitch. Guess how many put-ons? Any put-ons? I think you have the same one that I might have.

You guys have the same put-on. I know who you have. Finally, after such a long drought, I've been finding some good shit. And this guy is one of them. What's his name? BLM? BLP. BLP Kosher?

He's fire. Come on. I know about BLP Kosher. You do. He looks like Angelica's doll kosher. He's fine. Come on. I know about BLP kosher. You do. He looks like, he looks like Angelica's doll, Cynthia. He does.

Yeah. And his flow is good. And his lyrics are, his pen is impressive. Dude. I love, he like kind of, do you feel like you could speak for the culture?

With? Yes. I'm just a guest. Yes. Yeah. What do you mean to say? Are you a part of the culture? Are you a guest?

I think. We write in the same style. But is he a guest or is he a part of the culture? He's a part of the culture. Nate Burleson almost got Macklemore. But Macklemore said he was a guest. What is that? Of the culture.

Oh my God. He linked with, he collabed with Babytron. Yeah. He's a part of the culture. Oh my God. He linked with, he collabed with Babytron. Yeah. He's a part of the culture. A guy like me is a guest. He looks like a pogo stick. His look is just, it's not working. It's like one of those fake, the prank arrows going through your head.

But it keeps your eyes glued to the screen. Yeah. Is his flow crazy? Yeah, that song specifically, specifically i think that's a picture it's called mazel tron no that one's not even his best his best is um jew in a canoe oh yeah it's so good uh but actually good this guy this this dude knocked two out of san diego he does like drum and bass, like trap EDM, but oh my God, he's next up.

He's next up. And officially? This dude. Go to his shows or go to YouTube, watch his shows. Best crowds, hype music. He's next up. Knock two.

Dude, Ebony got thirsted after in the comments. Oh, yeah. Too much. Too much. It went straight to her head. Game. She's been sucking better than ever. All those comments went straight to her head.

She sucked everybody that gave him a good comment. Your mom listened to that episode, didn't she? My mom did listen to the Ebony episode. Oh, Jesus. And she loves Ebony now. Really? Yeah. She was like, I love Ebony.

Aren't your parents pretty conservative? Weren't you keeping away comedy? Yeah, my mom's cool, though. Okay. She can be cool like that. She's cool. So wait, do your parents know that you do comedy now? Yes.

Yeah, yeah. Okay. They've just never been to a show. Okay. I'm trying to keep it like that. Cool. So wait, do your parents know that you do comedy now? Yes. Yeah. Okay. They've just never been to a show. Okay. I'm trying to keep it like that for a little bit. What do they think of this whole transition you did? Yeah. That time when you were going to like Texas and places for comedy and you didn't tell

them, do they now know you did that? They don't know that I traveled that much before. Okay. Still. But my mom's now like an anus fan. Oh, she knows if she's listening. What's up? Okay. But my mom's now like an anus fan. She knows if she's listening. What's up? Okay.

But my mom texted me after the Ebony episode and she was like, I love Ebony. Who is she? I'm like, she's a security guard here. She goes, oh my God, she crazy. Wait, did your mom code switch after the episode? I think she did. Your mom text you, I'm crying, C-R-I-N-E. Mom, what?

It was like the black prayer hands emoji. Cry. Cry. Your mom just called you the N-word. But then she goes, does she really have plastic chairs in her living room crying face emoji? No, she cried face though. I was like, no. And then I was like, no, but like it was just a bit they were making fun of her and then she just goes

she loves sex no doubt i was like yeah she does who did she say does she imply that we love sex too just she yeah she loves sex probably for the best i go yeah she knows ha ha and she goes maybe she'll suck it what your dick yeah she talked about she's sucking your mother referred to she has a pronoun for your dick she says it's your dick for your dick she hasn't she like you would know all she said was maybe she'll suck it what did you say i said oh my god maybe she'll suck it and that's it that's all that implies that you had been talking about your dick if she said it. For sure not. No. You could have just been like,

text her right now. Just be like, what was it, by the way? I don't want to do that. You have to. If they're on vacation right now, she's probably like kind of boozed up. She's boozed up. Yeah.

Maybe she'll suck. Is she trying to like boost your optimism? Was she talking to your dad? She's like, I'm listening to Connor's... I didn't want to say it. I almost said your full last name. Mr. and Mrs. But no, I'm listening to Connor's new episode

and this black woman on here seems like she could potentially suck his cock. Maybe I'll ask him. Maybe she'll suck it? Yeah, she hit me with that. That was at like 2 o'clock today, maybe. Wow. Yeah, she had a boozy brunch.

Boozy brunch, yeah. Wow. Where are they on vacation? Hilton Head. Nice. South Carolina. I was hoping you'd cross paths with them. That's close, yeah.

Very close, yeah. We'll link up, maybe in the middle. Maybe she'll suck it. Shit. You're the one who should be uncomfortable with that. No, we'll link up maybe in the middle. Yeah, maybe she'll suck it. Oh, shit. You're the one who should be uncomfortable with that. No, me, yeah. What the fuck?

Your mom was trying to get you. Was she trying to get you some breezy top or like finally to get you to finally get some head? I love Mook's thought process was like maybe this is

getting awkward like them bringing to light my mom talking about my dick so I'll make a joke about my mom sucking your dick. That was your ammo i know it almost worked on me i was like getting mooks the type of guy to like play on the second controller when he's alone he's on the mad cats alone plugged into the second

port oh my god yeah i don't know i told you my brain's foggy dude i feel it i feel it um that was your put on do i have a put on i might lazuo oh um our one t-shirt that's that's gonna be that's gonna be mine our one chef's kiss our one single team oh i did i did the one um if we do want to do new merch, there's probably, like, I think we just have to go broad with it or just make them ridiculous. What should we do? I don't know. What would sell? What would you rather have in his clothing item or a sticker, a poster?

I want to do a shirt that has, like, we make Shaquille O'Neal look like he has i guess down syndrome and then it says radio shack and i think that would be a good ass shirt that's that would be good yeah that's all i got can you do that with ai pretty quickly yeah can you can you do i mean rudy can you millions of people had to try this already i mean i'm so bad at photoshop i could probably make that happen on accident on accident yeah yeah it would look like radio did it yeah um i don't know what's the face face smash shack and this is a personal take but sydney sweeney well no you brought it up on the case race you think she does look that way but it is it's the perfect amount she's a hot woman yeah but what else do i got the zoo oh i'm not l-a-s-z-e-w-o till you hate me

what it's like electric indie pop indie electro pop like uh passion pit oh i love yellow claw did you really the female vocals on the bridge are good um put off so we have any put offs i haven't heard a yellow claw in a minute he's not really my style it's a little too intense but yeah uh do just down syndrome shack i guess put off this might rock and we'll just throw whatever this is on a shirt and it'll say radio chat and you guys have to buy this you have to we need it fine okay now can you try that I like that

a lot but I'd be remiss not to request the Sweeney mashup oh Shaq mashup with Sydney Sweeney yeah screenshot that but I'd be remiss not to request the Sweeney mashup. Oh, Shaq mashup with Sidney Sweeney? Yeah, screenshot that. I think I want to... What is... Is that like a Down Syndrome spelling of a team?

Yeah. It looks like hieroglyphics. Old guy. So what do you want? Sidney Sweeney. And Shaquille. But we'll keep that one. Yeah.

Well, that might just be the two together. Yeah, I don't know the best way to like phrase it for the AI. I thought there was like an app for FaceTime. Oh, goodness gracious. It's pretty good. It's odd they've never crossed paths and they just couldn't pull the photo. Oh, yeah.

Get that out of here. Get that the fuck out of here. That looks like... That's horrendous. Is that Sidney Sweeney in CeeLo? I CeeLo when I look at her. I'm not looking at her face. Yeah, I was looking at it too.

Potentially unsafe content. Okay. Sidney Sweeney face on Shaq. What was the unsafe content there? This is what Elon Musk is afraid of. This is kind of fun. We're so late to the game to everything. We just talked about the Jeter graphic who is that i guess that's sydney sweeney shack i'll put that on a shirt

that could be our rapper too yeah that could be our rapper too okay and then just go to like a radio shack font okay Radio Shack font. Okay. I almost just spelled it. I know you did. I saw the pause between A and K. Or A and C.

Yeah. Oh, that's going to be so sick. But, like, we got to spell it like Shack. Oh. Yeah. I get it. What do you mean? I didn't even put together that it was Radio Shack. I want the, Maybe the old logo.

Oh, fuck. Wait, it's been a thing. It's done. God damn it. No way. Wait, did they make him radio-ish? No. No.

Hold on. There's a radio. I guess that makes perfect sense. Shack loves being in commercials and the company has Shaq in the name. Huh. What else you got, KB? This is episode 340. That is the area code of the U.S. Virgin Islands.

Okay. Chain of Islands. Shout out Tim Duncan. Yeah, he's their star and kawaii leonard where's he from i don't know not there i just assume if you play for the spurs you are from international at least or from not the continental he's probably from cali is he okay um maybe i confuse him with borisw. Mount Rushmore. Ayaz. Kelsey Grammer. Yes.

Okay. Kelsey Grammer. Kelsey Grammer's from the first? Yeah. Frazier? Yes. His apartment's so sick. I haven't seen it.

Oof. You guys probably know it as the vacation resort spot. St. Croix, St. Thomas, St. John. You're right. I do. Only about 80,000 people. Pretty hilly. Vol, St. John. You're right, I do. Only about 80,000 people. Pretty pilly, volcanic.

Majority black. Vast majority Christian. Okay. I tried to look it up on Reddit to see what's in the news. Yeah, what's going on? And the first result was r slash shower beer which is a treat is it sexy it's like it's a naked girl with her she posted free for all friday from the u.s virgin islands love city hard seltzer it's like a very it's the community is like they're very into shower beers okay the top comment not fair you are in la croix and i'm sitting in four degree michigan yeah that's

la croix isn't a place but go to shower beer it's a collection of probably the biggest losers that exist r slash shower so it's like girls like decently attractive girls are posting their naked shower beers and like the guys are like giving them like IPA recommendations. That's probably Rudy in there. Okay. One thousand seven hundred. There's way too many. Oh, the guy.

I just got this guy. Who's that? I don't know. You don't know. Guys are on the... Wait, this is a guy's dick. This is the first one I pulled up. Yeah, the guys, I didn't know they were participating too.

These are all just guys' dicks, Kyle. Yeah, I didn't know it was going to be sexualized. But the girls post on their... The dude appears on his dick. The beer's on his dick. The beer's bouncing on his dick. I haven't seen a single girl. Who are these girls that are posting their naked pictures to r slash shower beer? This guy had like five different beers in the same shower.

Five different posts. Yeah, dude. Long ass shower. So this girl who posted, I went to her page to see what else she posts. Yeah. And it was under no, no stupid questions. And she, she asked how to actors slash actresses, not get addicted to cigarettes when smoking for a role.

That is, that is the only exception to no stupid questions. That is the dumbest thing. They're fake, right? Yeah. And even even like they wouldn't just get it down tony would tony would yeah i got yeah did people answer no answers it was that stupid fuck or they perplexed and then she posted to r slash casual conversation. I just had an exhausting dream. r slash ADHD. Is anyone else constantly exploding

drinks in the freezer? This is the lowest level human in the world. And then she posted a naked pic to r slash shower beer. Guys just commented, oh my. Sweet pic. tan looks good and reds is always a solid cider oh my god oh my god wait a minute i don't see the reds oh this is so fucking funny i think i searched by top top posts yeah

wow glass and shower risky business magnificent this girl posts her tits and the guy's like if you are into ipas but are new to beer and try founders all day ipa is it's a good one to try if you are a real hot pet and like hoppier ipas then try some west coast ipas stone is an old reliable imagine being this guy it's like i'm i'm not gonna horny respond dude that's always like whenever like a girl posts like a hot selfie on twitter there's a guy that like brings up something in the background same type of guy yeah yeah love that brand of pen he's i'm not horny and perverted he's like doing that while grinding his teeth because I'm not horny and perverted. He's like doing that while grinding his teeth.

He's so horny and perverted. That's the most. He's an hour slash shower beer looking for pussy. Oh, my God. I'm excited. You're taking a vacation, man. Yeah. I.

It's feeling better, though, so I could have used it months ago. Well, no, but like, I don't think you would have enjoyed it if you went when. Right. Yeah. It's feeling better though. So I could have used it months ago. Well, no, but like, I don't think you would have enjoyed it if you went when. Right. Yeah. And I'm excited. You should take one too. A lot of weight.

A lot of weight just dropped. Oh, here's a put off. Stop doing abs in the gym. Why? I don't get why guys over. Stop doing. That's the one reason to work out. It's for abs.

If you want a six pack. stop. That's dieting. That's it. Maybe they want. And if you're lifting weights, you'll get more than enough core exercise from squats. You don't need to do 20 minutes. I've seen people taking up 20 minutes on the ab. Stop doing abs. Thanks, Kyle. Did you buy your sword? No. Buy your sword, then I'll let you go on vacation. Oh, wait. I have to do the scavenger hunt that you were for sure lying about, and the keys are probably still in your pocket. Yeah. Okay.

Are you out tonight? KB? Unless someone else wants to do it. I want to do it. I'm allergic to cats. Malisa, you live close. You don't want to do it. I'm allergic to cats. Malisa, you live close. You don't want to. I want to take care of your cat. I might take it home with me.

She's a blast. Let her bite you. It's fun. All right. Not your fingers. I'm going to get all scratched up. She had trimmed her nails. I don't know if that's inhumane or not.

No, just declawing is right because it takes out like the piece of the bone yeah what else was that an ordeal to declaw her she did cut her nails yeah no she hated it but i was it was time yeah what are you supposed to do they're supposed to like grab by the back of the neck yeah is that the thing that's what their their mom oh that's a good tip yeah like i think they like it like paralyzes them because they're What are you supposed to do? They're supposed to grab by the back of the neck? Yeah. Is that the thing? That's what their moms do? That's a good tip. Yeah. Try that.

I think it paralyzes them because they're used to being picked up by their parents, by the fatty of the back of their neck. Yeah. Their moms do it. Yeah. I love a cat. I recommend one. It's a huge endorphin boost.

Do you guys have any update on the studio in Chicago? We have a meeting tomorrow. Meeting tomorrow. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I think what we should pitch is what I said. Everything brown. Just the same exact shade.

Yeah, I would love that. Everything brown. Everything brown. I'm trying to think if I've ever been in a brown room. No, you never have. Never. just the the same exact yeah I would love that everything brown everything brown I'm trying to think if I've ever been in a brown room no you never have never and so I want people

when we have guests because I'd like to get a few more guests come on um there I want them to be shocked yeah

who I see but relaxed by the brown room because I think it would be like the least I don't

I want it to be the least stimulating room of all time. Like an interrogation room. Yeah. That would make them feel very uncomfortable. You think an all brown room? If it's straight brown and not like mahogany or coffee or chestnut. What's straight brown? Like the one we do use.

That's what you're talking about, right? Yeah. Yeah. You want to use like a... I don't think that's going to make anyone feel better about themselves. Are there brown light bulbs? Probably.

Okay. We'll brown light it. I would like that. Yeah. It'll be really nice and brown. Neon brown. Can we get neon brown? Neon brown.

Yeah, tell them the theme is just neon brown. Okay. In the meeting tomorrow, I'll say we want to go with neon brown. Yeah, tell them the theme is just neon brown. Okay, in the meeting tomorrow, I'll say we want to go with neon brown. Really? We have to make them invent something. My brain can't even picture that. Neon brown? Yeah, no. Rudy, can you Google that?

Yeah. That's, oh my god no no that's orange uh yellow even that's orange i think we have to invent it first yeah that's what we need them to do that's pretty sick how is your speaking of brown how's your shower and my apartment's killing me and there's nothing i still sound sick yeah i just every time because i'll like crash at my dad's um it's like when i need to shower or shit um well actually because i got a call two days ago from while i was in my apartment taking a shit got Got a call. They're like, hey, water's out. It'll be three days. I'm just looking

down at what I've done. That sucked. Scoop it out. No, I'm kidding. Dude, whenever I have my sink on, it just shoots up into my bathtub from the drain. And it shoots up like dirty, dirty brown. bathtub from the drain. Oh,

and it shoots up like dirty, dirty brown. It's not usable. No. And it smells like shit. Um, so that sucks. But also what sucks is a water line broke.

And so there was water running down the walls in the hallway. So they had to turn off the AC units so that wouldn't get damaged. So I don't have AC. Um, and I got to go to my dad's to shower i have to take a i have to take a 25 minute at least uber you still live with your dad no but i shower at his place so dude i've been trying to run and oh yeah i will run and then i'll go up to my dad's shower and then go home so it's like if I want to run,

I have to block off like six hours. God damn. And then I just go back, sleep at my place and get sick. Yeah, it's the best. You might as well ride it out till Chicago. Yeah, because like my neighbors

have these two kids and when they want to, when the parents want to sleep in, I'd imagine it's like 6 a.m. The kids are awake. They let them just scooter up and down the parents want to sleep in, I'd imagine it's like 6 a.m. The kids are awake. They let them just scooter up and down the hall. So they just like from 6 a.m. to 8 a.m. They're scootering up and down the hall.

Just like, no. Yeah. You have a truly hellish existence. Yeah. And then my gay neighbor, my gay neighbor to the right, it just sneezes. And he has the loudest, gayest sneezes.

I can see that bothering me a lot. Yeah. Are you still doing kickboxing? Yeah. I'm becoming aware. to the right has it just sneezes and he has the loudest gay i can see that bothering me a lot yeah how are you still doing kickboxing yeah i'm becoming nice you're becoming a weapon coming a weapon i'm like a dull butter knife okay i'd say and uh so is there a stage where you start kicking kick battling people or is it just so you need to be careful because there was that hey arnold episode where the guy took his bus money, 65 cents in his bus money, and Arnold took the karate lessons from his mom, went back and attacked the wrong guy, made the guy cry. And Gerald was even like, dude, you've become bad. So be sure not to like intentionally try to start fights.

Dude, watch that seven and a half hour Hey Arnold. Yeah, you sent a video rack and it was eight hours. Like, hey, real quick, you guys want to watch something good? People recommend shows. That's like 25 hours. Let me take a day off. I mean, I do want to watch it.

It's so good. It's a commitment. It's so good. It's an eight hour episode of Hey Arnold? No, it's a documentary. Oh, okay. Gotcha. It's so good. It's so good. It's an eight hour episode of Hey Arnold? No, it's a documentary. Oh, okay. Gotcha. It's good. And then he does like multiple spinoffs. So he has like a two hour episode of just one Hey Arnold episode.

The Haunted Train. We're on pace to be on our Gerald shit. What do you mean? Zero shirts. He just has a jersey. That's all he has. He has like a long sleeve. Yeah. So just a basketball jersey. Oh, yeah. He has like a long sleeve. Yeah.

So just a basketball jersey, right? Yeah. No, no, it's long sleeve. Oh, I think he wears 33. Number 33. He's deep. Gerald from Hey Arnold doesn't wear a jersey. He has 30.

I think you look like it's a long sleeve with a number on it. It's almost like a God. You're right. Oh, damn. why did i picture him in a michael jordan jersey i don't know the whole time he's wearing a hoodie no that's the new this is the mandela complex or whatever yeah you're a long that's what he always wore yeah it's the man yeah he used to wear a jersey you You want to see something crazy? Look at Arnold's wardrobe. Wait, where?

Arnold wears the same thing every day. The sweater with the flannel underneath. Sick-ass look. Sick-ass look. I used to think it was a skirt, yeah. No, it's his flannel. I think Iggy wears the same thing. I think he's copying.

No, Iggy from Hey Arnold. I don't even know what that is. Oh, Iggy Hey Arnold, yeah. I think he copped Iggy's style Oh A little controversy Where's he Oldest whole time

Yeah I think he stole Iggy's shit Is he What Who did it first I think Iggy Iggy's a cool ass guy Yeah

That's like a cool look now Yeah He looks like Oliver Tree Iggy would get Yeah Iggy would crush here ass guy Yeah That's like a cool look now Yeah He looks like Oliver Tree Iggy would get Yeah Iggy would crush here He does look like Oliver Tree Ears on the jaw Yeah so something

Like I I don't want people to think Say like Arnold's like a style guy No It doesn't matter if you If you're copying somebody one for one Anyways I had to get that off my

Just something I've noticed I'm glad you did you would have let that simmer stew it would have become like an ulcer you would bottle that up yeah until eventually I blow

that felt really good alright man alright enjoy your vacation thank you boys I'll see you next week when are you back

Sunday Sunday dude if I kill your cat