A New Untold Story - Arnie Grape, Forrest Gump, & Dusty Frisbee - A New Untold Story: Ep. 343

Episode Date: May 11, 2023

London, Arnie Grape, a new tik tok trend, conjoined twins, a heat check, and a man with no nose. Ads: Betterhelp - This episode is sponsored by Betterhelp. Go to https://barstool.link/BHStory for 10% off your first month. Gametime - Download the Gametime app or go to https://barstool.link/GametimeApp, enter your email, and redeem code UNTOLD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply)You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, A New Untold Story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad-free on Amazon Music. untold story. I knew untold story. It's a fresh, big untold story. I knew untold story. all right welcome back anus episode 374 or 334 343 okay uh yes one of our first palindromes cool uh this show's sponsored by better help may is mental health aware month may is also a trainer in pokemon chick uh but anyways oh it is so easy to get caught up in what everyone else needs from you never take a moment to think about what you need from yourself but when you spend all our time giving it can leave us feeling stretched thin and burned out therapy can give you the tools to find a more balance in your life and you can keep supporting others without leaving yourself behind if you're starting of thinking there if you're thinking of starting therapy give better help a

try it's entirely online you guys don't have to go to an office uh you could find more balance with better help visit betterhelp.com slash NEW. That's new today to get 10% off your first month. That's 10% off a doctor. That's crazy. A higher up doctor, a psychiatrist. Yeah. That's betterhelp.com slash new. NEW.

Thank you, BetterHelp. Thank you, BetterHelp. KB, what up? I haven't used them. Thank you. Better help. I haven't used them. And right now, luckily, I don't need them. I'm averaging about a 7.0, 7.2. On the dopamine scale. Which is insane. That is the equivalent of later in my Adderall abuse.

That's what I would feel. I would feel less than that. And I'm completely sober. So you're completely sober. I've been for like 10 days. No drinking. By day four, I was into the sixes. This is my scale, my baseline dopamine.

Sure, yeah. Baseline's five. I've been one and a half to two points above baseline naturally throughout the entire day with no falls. You would have been a 10 in the United Kingdom. I can't imagine. Yeah. Is it that depressing? What do you mean? Is it that depressing? is it as depressing as i think it is you would be the hottest man ever on that soil there's not a

chance everybody there is shockingly grotesque i thought i saw mook i'm kidding i'm kidding i am i am part english are. I am part English. Are you? Yeah. What part? I have no idea. My dad's side. Okay. Yeah. The other side's very Irish, but. That ugly.

No, yeah. No, no, no. Yeah, I don't think they're, they can't be that bad. Tommy, Tommy, like how old at a, uh, like a, uh a like a hostess like that was her scale of like if she had to use her looks to get an end goal she was a hostess on a scale of

that what's an ugly profession animal shelter do you think that's really yeah I know it is you had so much from man from animal shelter to dental hygienist flight attendant bartender bartender bartender yeah i think the model actress yeah the median there was the hottest there was hostess the snack cakes

yeah it was shocking and it's crazy how everybody's one stacked bird in a viral video flappy bird in a viral video she was trying to put gas gasoline in a tesla and i'm like immediately radar set up yes set up the super hot girl with cleavage and she wasn't she was all right cleavage but an ass big ass and big tits all right isn't just doing that and it's on camera no chance yeah i hate those videos when people are in walmart's and they have like the model with them that just has a huge ass and huge tits you ever see those and they do like pranks in there it's like she would never be in a walmart ever oh yeah big ass big tick girl in a walmart yeah wearing like is that a genre have you seen

infra bren you would i think you would like him infra bren he's yeah he just he wears like a sunglass cameras and just talks to people it's very funny no i just like james chapeski chapeski who are you on well james chapeski is that in the world of shirts realm uh but diagnosis wise yeah yeah yeah but they don't know each other he just put out a musical called the darkness i bought it for 20 bucks on dvd full things on youtube uh but it's it's good and uh no i should i misspoke it's really bad yeah yeah um no london was sick i wish you could have come i was with fucking tommy which sucked um as per uh people think that that like the two and a half minute man on the street was like the full video. They were like, these guys flew 14 hours, put out 88 seconds.

We have a we have a video. There's a vlog on the anus channel. Not yet, but it will be. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I have to edit it. We're just pranking cops.

You're not afraid of cops over there. Campy. They don't have guns. They just have big ass hats. It's like Disney World. People will take pictures with the cops. We found a tall ass cop too. Probably tallest in the city. What else?

My mom was super scared the whole time. I'm like, Mom, I live in New York. I'm going to London. Give me all your quid. Give me all your Fucking quid boy And then like All I have to say is nah

Imagine getting jumped by that accent Oi Get back here Feel their teeth With my lips Dude I have like I have a i have a like a uh uh baby gap if we want to assign a store to the in my teeth and um that's that's where the accent comes from

i could do it way better if my teeth were jankier oh that's what it is yeah yeah that's how you do the accent that's why i won't get lasik what because people look so much more beautiful oh yeah poor eyesight yeah i'll be walking i'm like 10 9 8 7 6 yeah and it's and even in my own self i remember i put glasses on and smiled in the mirror i was like no i'll never get these because you saw yourself it's just like the it's weird you see everything would you want me to tell you if you if your girlfriend was ugly see that that would be yeah i don't know maybe so i'm not gonna i'm i was gonna get lasik but that's gonna be one of my few flaws i'm gonna get lasik i no i'm gonna get it are you are too your glasses you kind of want the glasses right me that's Me? I got small eyeballs. I look grotesque without glasses on. It's just different.

People aren't used to it. Dude, with glasses, hat, beard, I'm always incognito. Glasses, hat, beard, yeah. Yeah. Long hair. Sure. Yeah. Fuck.

Yeah, so that new video is coming out. We did some stuff. we bought some suits we went to a tea time tommy has no fucking shame but is also a huge pussy at the same time like there was a really drunk guy in a cat a coffee shop and uh he was he jumped to the front of the queue which was what the fuck and he was trying to order beer and he was like screaming at the person and like the barista barista looked at me was like hey like we might I might need help and I was like all right and I look over to

Tommy and Tommy's is just looking at me through the window outside already already fucking out someone wanted a free or wanted to cut the line someone cut the line and he ran away Tommy had his phone out ready to call the police. Someone broke the rules.

Tommy ran. No, but I conned our place of work because I just wanted to go there because it's the only place you can catch a sock on Pokemon. A sock? SAWK. That's a type of pokemon you can get throw here t-h-r-o-o-h and but england is the only place you can catch a sock and i was just frantic my battery was dying by 11 o'clock in the morning because i was just trying to catch a sock did you catch the sock i caught two socks so i caught a pair and how do you flaunt that is there like a do all your

pokemon go friends see that you caught a sock yeah that's the you can set them as your buddy i always like whenever i go somewhere cool like when we went to alaska i was like hey can you take a picture of me in front of this mountain but you took the picture through the pokemon go app so i could show off my shiny side duck so i use the background as an excuse to show off the pokemon i catch i yeah i'm getting into that i mean i'm liking more things yeah it's crazy how miserable i dude i genuinely like wrestling now that's cool i think we're both on the up and up we're about to we're enjoying more things maybe what did you like about britain that more so than america meals were super cheap um my confidence was higher i like rainy weather um yeah uh i think

um they their exit signs instead of saying exit they say way out which is kind of sweet way out that's how i read it like a hippie guy way out what? Obviously, man's going to go quite for a mucky's ting. So yeah, you would have been saying that you're not doing bits. You would have, you would have, that would have crushed in the Piccadilly Circus, which is just a place. I was like. Piccadilly is a place? The Piccadilly Circus.

That's like their time square. I was expecting, you know, like seals with like a beach ball on their nose. That's my first thing i thought of the circus jesus christ they were doing that shit they were doing that shit in the depictions yeah yeah i never saw it i don't know if we're seals ever doing that for real for real i don't know i don't think for real for real but um no i went there to play pokemon go really and then i just had to bring tommy which was the biggest. But while I was there, I was feeling down and Pokemon Go tweeted

this. Remember, trainers, a heroic deed is honorable and recognized. Check in on your friends. So Pokemon Go just told people check in on your friends. They must be killing themselves en masse. But also, if you're playing Pokemon Go,

what friends do you have to check in on? Yeah, none and then you you know what you have to do again thank you better help so the so tiktok has data they can tell which children are gay before their parents yeah because they can see which like children are viewing gay tiktok and it probably tracks your eyes too if you're watching like a big cock bounce so. So what could Pokemon Go do along the same lines? What behavior would be... Installing it, probably. Spending money on it. You can add little stickers to your GIFs.

I guess what stickers you send and stuff. Yeah, there's a lot of signs. Like who you said is your buddy, how often you feed them berries um you can feed your pokemon berry i feed my probopass berries pretty much every morning oh my god have you ever seen my my main buddy i haven't seen your page is there a way to look scroll through your profile page no you'd have to add me i'm nick derulo um Um, but my I'm pretty sure my Pokemon is anti-Semitic, like the design. My Pokemon is very Semitic, but the design is very anti-Semitic. Have you guys ever seen Probopass? Probopass is a Pokemon?

It evolves from Nosepass. I'll tell you that. No. That's my buddy. Oh, I didn't know. My dumbass girlfriend said that about a French dude. I was like, that's a Jewish word. This is my buddy.

Probopass is my... It has a Yamaka. That is... That's the Pokemon? Yeah, that's mine. That's me. I have a... Did you feed it? No, he's hungry right now. You want to feed it?

No. Okay. Alright. I gotta become best friends with him for a mission. Jesus Christ. What's happening to me, man? Oh my God. Was anyone rude to you in England?

Or did they treat Americans like... Yeah, how did they treat Americans, if at all? We really didn't come across... I thought there was going to be a ton of Americans. We heard a couple in our hotel. Like, heard their voice and we could tell. But they were rude to Tommymmy because he was trying to do an accent to people the whole time he was trying to tell people he was from essex

um and he was trying to like prank kids with that and so we have all these videos of him pranking pranking kids but they were just alphaing him like he walked up and he was like hello i'm from the essex and they're like okay and then like he walked up and he was like hello i'm from the essex and they're like okay and then like tommy's like you guys get that some dude coming up to us and being like yo i'm from chicago yeah i guess you're right but uh but if we were like seven and eight respectively um and then like we said that was tommy's contribution to the man on the street and then there was like yeah you can't film kids we're like oh fuck so if you watch the man on the street tommy his questions that he has to adults they never answered him so it's just tommy asking

questions i deleted twitter but i have to watch the man on the street was like uh we were expecting rowdiness we went to a park that had a million people in it at the time which was insane just to watch a screen that they could have watched at home so the coronation was so silent you went to the coronation which was just a watch party that could have been anywhere in the world yes but so we tried to go to like the palace grounds like through like a three mile radius around the palace these giant green metal walls um and then we were lined up all around the outside and there was a there was a field there was a single file line for about three miles that you had to wait in to get to this field and we got there million people but nobody was like drinking or rowdy i thought it would be like

that but then i realized like try to put this in perspective for like what imagine like people i can't what could you compare this to the united states um i can give a few things uh like the state of the union address yeah probably that's boring as fuck yeah right and i went there with the idea that like these guys are gonna be fucking partying i thought that's what the case was for sure yeah not even kind of why i didn't want to go not even in the slightest bit. And I was like, yeah, it's boring. So, all right.

What were you expecting? You came here for this. And that's part of their attitude is like glooming. And what? Grim. Yeah. Gloom and doom. Yeah.

Gloom and grim. But yeah, it was it was really cool. Easy. I'll be going back for sure uh probably to live um forever gotta get away yeah yeah um what else what did what did i miss here i got a computer and i got internet you got a computer what the fuck it's a loner the internet isn't on yet okay but we gotta start what do you got yeah how is it working um i gotta set up the fingerprint thing What the fuck? It's a loner. The internet isn't on yet. Okay. But we got to start. What do you got? Yeah. How is it working?

I got to set up the fingerprint thing, but it's just nice to have. I need you to, I'm nervous calling people. I think like a lot. That's like, you know, I'm a typical millennial, you know, very fucking nervous calling people, making an appointment. But I need your help too oh but i'm working on it okay exposure therapy so i need to do this so i want you to call some new york dentists for me mine just called me can you call them back yeah because i want to know

if they sign off on it i'm officially going to beat Violet Beauregard's Chewing Gum record. Now everybody knows she beat Cornelia Prinsmetal, I believe was her name. Did Violet Beauregard beat Cornelia Prinsmetal? I never consumed, I don't even know who Violet Beauregard actually is. I never watched any of that movie or show. I mean, you know it's a

movie. Yeah, I know, but there's like a few. She beat Cornelia Prince medal. She did three months same piece of gum. I want to do three months one day, same piece of gum three months one day. Yeah, I want to be there, but I want to chew the same piece of gum all day every day for three

months in one day. What the last one day is throwing me off that would beat her violets was three months. Are you following? This is pretty easy. Her record is three months. She went three months without spitting the gum.

Right, and if I want to beat her record, what do I have to do? Oh, three months and... Yeah, I get it. Is it because I didn't say and? I thought you wanted to do the three months in one day. Oh, yeah. OK, so you want to ask you want to ask a dentist. I want to call some dentists and see if I could do that.

But yeah, if we could do that, I would really appreciate that. I'm not going to ruin my relationship. You have a good relationship. You said what you said. Well, you said this is that this says to stock. You mean? Well, Mook, you said this says Tooth Doc. You mean, did you forget the word? Or is his name Tooth Doc? That's just one.

If you want the best dentist in the world, Dr. Michael J. Way, I can send you his number. No, I want to prank a girl. Well, it might be an assistant that answers. I don't think. Okay. I'm just going to pick up the phone. I'm just going to put the number there. You want to, okay.

Three months. There we go. And Kyle, while you're calling and asking, just like if you could just be like, hey, I work, this is from the office of Nick Cerrani. He's trying to, you may have seen that he's trying to beat Violet Beauregard's record for chewing the gum, chewing the same piece of gum for three months

straight she beat Cornelia Prince medal Cornelia Prince medal you want to say Violet Beauregard they might know you're joking yeah you're right he's working on a Guinness yeah it is it would be yeah I want to know the risks of chewing the same piece of gum

for three months straight probably sleep with it packed like my lip um and i want to know like what type of gum i should use i bought an aspartame free sugar free but i'm afraid it'll dissolve i think we need some sort of fake thing i don't know uh but yes uh today's episode's also brought to you by game time what you know about game time you know it's created by fans for who? Right. For fans. Yeah, that's right. It's a no-brainer

because you're not going to get a cheaper ticket and you need tickets. It's the summertime. You're going to go to an event. Why not use GameTime in our promo code? That's right. Yeah, that's pretty good. That's damn good. I think I'm going to go see the Yankees with my old man the day this releases, which is

Thursday. It's possible with the Game'm thinking I'm going to go see the Yankees with my old man the day this releases, which is Thursday. It's possible with the GameTime app. The biggest last minute price drops can be found on the seats you thought you could never buy. Skip the hassle. Enjoy the moment. Download the GameTime app. My mom used it to go see Life of Pi. Sit right in the front.

What? My mom was in town. 10 years ago? No, the play. the play oh the play how did they do like the water scenes i don't know he was on a raft for damn near the whole movie yeah i know that was probably a shitty ass play is the stage gonna be a pool if not then that's not life of pie yeah you're right if the stage isn't a pool that's not life of pie at all uh download the game time app or go to the website enter your email email redeem code untold u-n-t-o-l-d for 20 off your first purchase terms apply um i almost put out a solo tiktok where i'm playing a

character what does that mean you should put it out should i put it out. Should I put it out? Yeah. What is it? It's like me shirtless. Oh. Like wearing glasses. Dahmer glasses. Okay.

Major life hack for you parents out there. If you have a pesky boy that's always asking to play games on your phone, there's a way you can limit their screen time. You just have to open up the settings and click notifications right there at the top right there and you're going to scroll all the way down and all parents should be doing this down to government alerts and just switch right so that's me telling parents to turn off their amber alerts which is an option. I guess. Yeah, I'm going to do it. Yeah, it is annoying.

And it's like such a downer, dude. Dude, have you... You're like about to like hook up with a chick and you hear the Amber Alert. And you're like, fuck. Yeah, post that. She makes you wear a condom after hearing the Amber Alert sound. Nobody should live with that fear. Oh, fuck! Yeah, should I post

that? Yeah. Do you have an account? No, that would be from the anus account. I don't have an account. I don't have an account at all. Are we calling the dentist? Oh yeah, you want to call the dentist? So I'm just pretending like I'm your what? Husband? I don't want to call the dentist? So I'm just pretending like I'm your what? Husband?

I don't want to say that. His agent. Just be my secretary. Nick's straight secretary. You'll be my straight secretary. You want me to say, you want me to say this is Nick's secretary and they're like, who's Nick? Nick Duraney's office? He's like, someday.

Yeah, what do you want me to say? Or maybe you're like my parent and my son is adamant about beating this record okay and he is my son maybe it's my science fair it's a tiktok trend they're chewing gum for three months the newest trend is a short-lived trend you shouldn't be able to turn off amber alerts that's insane that's that's missing children yeah dude everybody should be anti-missing child and it's like beep it's one beep but it's so annoying this is such a downer yeah yeah um i think there's one more is there another tiktok oh do you guys know how um i have a nick museum in my apartment and i put a i have a u.s map and every time i do a

video in the u.s i put a pin in that map have you seen that yeah yeah well i went to london so what do i do and so i just like i have my map right and then i just have a pin but first of all what is this video this is me explaining it but what is it my boy nico oh but it's me and then so i had i have the map with all the place i've been in the U S and it's in a pretty long hallway. And so I just put the pin like where London would be. So I just have a pin in my wall. I think that works.

That works. Yeah. Tommy watched bros three times on the flight. He said he kept falling asleep, but he wasn't. It was like the Billy Eichner movie. Oh, yeah. I've been watching movies like every day.

They're so good. Yeah, dude. If it's a good movie, then it's amazing. Yeah. And I've been falling in love with movies. I watched Dungeons and Dragons last night. I don't know if I could do that.

Okay. I'm in the same phase. They have to be pretty non-fiction i mean how non-fiction well i watched palm springs i thought that was awesome but that's about what the fuck that's so fiction i know which is like yeah palm springs is good i did air the social network is phenomenal and i guess it is ranked as such. Yeah. Then Tetris was all right. We're still good. It's still like, I'm still loving all these decent movies.

You know how I'm kind of speaking of movies. I used to just find weird correlations and tweet them out and like, act like it's like the fill in Lil from Rugrats. Yeah. Yeah. So I found one, I was like so jet lagged and just couldn't sleep in, in London.

Um, when I went there I found every time an actor who's played a mentally challenged person is nominated for an Academy Award a Ford is the best selling car in America

or give me an example starting from the chronological 88 the Fordd escort the best selling car in america damn right what else was 88 88 was uh forrest gump rain man rain man 200 toothpicks uh 93 the next time a ford was the best selling uh i am sam nope gilbert's great yep yeah wait a minute wait a minute his he doesn't have a grape his name's gilbert great oh that's so that's his last name in the movie that's way more realistic than having the last name great

did daryl strawberry have a cameo but i didn't know that for real gilbert's great yeah he's just obsessed with this way more realistic that a special needs kid was obsessed with a little grape than having the last name grape and gilbert is not the special needs boy his name is arnie you're kidding me arnie grape is so leo didn't play gilbert no leo played arnie arnie grape no shit he's like that you named him arnie arnie great he should have been way worse yeah that was his ceiling yeah arnie grape given his circumstances that his name's arnie grape he's doing the best he can.

He's doing the best he can. Alright, we gotta make a very severely mentally challenged character. What should we name him? That's like one step above naming him Chucky Umbrella. Arnie Grape. Okay. Dude, wait a minute.

We should get a job just naming mentally challenged fictional characters. Dusty Frisbee oh shit yeah anyway okay that was 93 and then 94 for tourists again 96 for tourists it was that was the end of the ford reign but then uh 93 gilbert's grape um 94 forrest gump gump uh and then 96 um mystic river 904 mystic pizza sling blade sling bay yeah and so every time I didn't even know you have to get nominated so every time they're nominated the Ford will be selling so

if you if you pull up to the movie theater and there's a ton of Fords in the lot prepare for a lot of laughs and no yeah but that's that's my correlation of the week we'll keep that going so i'm trying to think of just like if we do this is gonna be our next tick tock i want you to do

like you're a correlation of the week you guys know every time a simple way to remember that is a lister playing to say wait playing disabled and winning award people are buying the ford and that's it's like a quick way to remember that and if you're an actor out there and you're seeing a lot of escalades on the road start practicing you know start practicing in front of the mirror get that drool tactic jeez good god that's like all of the movies of that category yes

did anyone just absolutely flub a role a special needs role which would be hard to do yeah no because the more they do that, the better. They're like, wow, this guy's good as fuck. Who played one

terribly? Hello. Yeah, he just speaks like Obama. Damn, this guy sucks. I just wasn't put all together together I was put together a little differently are you sure you are so bad at your role right now you were talking phenomenally

hello I'm here to audition for Arnie Grape Gilbert why is mother not breathing next oh my you see jennifer um life is paradoxical and tricky sometimes what can i compare life to that would make sense let's see let's see um life mere existence is analogous with um let's see let's see um life mere existence is analogous with um let's see what's more on your level a box of delicious chocolate uh before i give you this metaphor do you have a sweet tooth per chance okay yeah that's that's like a shitty middle school performance that's how that's how they act that That's them doing it. Damn, this guy sucks at acting. Forrest Gump production.

He's using extreme... Wait, his name's Forrest Gump, dude. This is a non-name. It's so iconic that we just let it slide, but Forrest Gump? Forrest Gump and Arnie Grape. No shit. And then Rain Man. Dude, it sounds like I'm reading fucking attendance to a bunch of 21 year olds in 10th grade.

Then there's LeBron Little. Dude, we, Mook reached out to him to try. You did? Yeah, he did not answer my email and then did not pick up my calls. So he did a podcast. A real estate podcast. With one of his coworkers. And I listened to the whole thing oh no it wasn't

good but the guy oh shit the guy was a real estate it was so boring the guy was glade the neck oh it's a he was sucking him the guy was obsessed with lebron and he kept going out of his way to say the name lebron oh yeah he's like le's like, LeBron, that was... Come on. I made a highlight tape. Oh, you have a highlight tape from LeBron? A quick highlight of the podcast. It was hard to do. LeBron, like, he actually, like, he is, like, an underdog

story in real estate. Like, he went out to Albuquerque or something, and someone told him, you're never going to make it in real estate like he went out to albuquerque or something and someone told him you're never gonna make it in real estate lebron i love that he's older than he's the he's the first lebron yeah well the podcast starts and he's like i gotta ask are you related to lebron james like that's his first name and then he was like only by name that's his first name. And then he was like, only by name. That's what related is. And LeBron, what I love about your story is you can speak to that

because you live that. Oh, God, go ahead. And I was playing golf with a guy that owned a real estate company there in Alamogordo, New Mexico. And I asked him back in the 2000, 2001 area, I said, how can I get into golf?

I mean, how can I get into real estate? And he told me then, he said, oh, you don't want to get into real estate. He said, there's just too many people in it right now. In 2010, I was the top producer in my office. And then in 2011, Nice fast forward effect. I got me the office manager's job. I always tell people I'm not a smart person, but I know a lot of smart people.

Wait, that's a Forrest Gump quote. You can say that again, LeBron. I could go into the Gadsden office and talk to anybody in there and they'd be glad to help me. If I was in Pell City, I could do the same thing. If I was in the Moody office,

all I need to do is walk in there and identify who I am. Oh, fuck. I'm just going to get lebron little the whole podcast just discombobulate it and reorganize um yeah but we're not gonna get lebron little he's no he's just not he's not getting unattainable dude avenge sevenfold's gonna be in the office and i want to get them but they would not like this no they would hate it i don't even know avenge sevenfold yeah you do they um m shadowsadows, Sinister Gates, Johnny Christ. Johnny Christ?

That's their bassist. Is that his real name? No. And I said the other guys, M. Shadows and Sinister Gates, and you were hung up on Johnny. Well, it was M. Night. Yeah, I got you right. M. Shadow makes sense. That's no... I forgot there's an M night

yeah they must be related oh my god we should I might just put out a blog on the barstool page just like any aspiring writer can use this just names for mentally challenged characters in movies

I want to start thinking of do you have one? If you don't have one, I think I might. What? Trent Booger. I was trying to think of a really short one. Okay. Yeah, I can't.

How do people just let that go oh shit and for those on YouTube sorry you're not gonna be able to listen to this ad but for those listening on the podcast you're in luck you get to listen to this ad in full three chi boys But for those listening on the podcast, you're in luck. You get to listen to this ad in full. Three Chi. Boys, of all the things in life, one of the best has to be getting high wherever you want, whenever you want, without the paranoia of consuming some sketchy black market bunk.

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i've been having a nightmare every night that somebody breaks into my house. And so I sleep next to a blade now unsheathed. Someone breaks into your apartment. Yeah. Yeah. Well, where, what do you mean? I have so many blades around my house now.

There's a newer one. They're just a bench made. That's sweet. Just a bench made. Okay. You can't call everyone sweet. Yeah, you can.

Are all. Yeah. Yeah, you can. I like the color um this is episode 343 oh shit let's get into some 343 facts you have any trivia for me ultra rare again a number that doesn't have too much headline significance um but i searched it and very lopsided on who was tweeting about it. One Barstool employee tweeted about it nine times in the last year. And I'm not talking about one of the baseball nerds tweeting about averages or war or something or ERA. Someone tweeted the number 343 nine times. 343.

Is that like maybe the distance of like a that's baseball again? Like what's the distance? It is a measurable. I guess all numbers are measurable. Whoa. It was Jeff Nadu. Do you know what that number was? Significant to him? Is that like the

his starting weight? That was his body weight in pounds at the peak of his then obesity. he is now down to 216. He's lost over 130 pounds, which is insane. So that 343 is also, on a lighter note, I guess, or no, on a darker note, is the amount of firefighters who lost their life on 9-11. And it's the name of the company, the developer who made Halo. Oh.

33 Industries. I thought Halo was Bungie. Me too. Me too. Actually, now I know for a fact it's Bungie. So what's 344? I don't know. I looked it up. I think it's something.

Let me... Yeah, use your new computer, dude. This is your... This is the... the last time you had a work computer last time you had any computer was when we went to lawrence kansas yeah it's been a while oh yeah okay it's touch id or enter password it doesn't give me an a text box to enter the password have you used the oh there it is yeah you have to just hit a key everybody's password is there we go whoa what do you got 343 industries is the american video game developer located in redmond washington part of xbox game studios they did create the halo series that was fun using my laptop to yeah you couldn't have used any other device that was all this shit on 343 boring ass no

actually no 9-11 je Jeff Nadeau's weight. Halo, one of the best video games of all time. My favorite. Today is May 11th, if you're listening. Yeah. And I want to do like what happened on May 11th. And I've discovered people that I didn't know existed. And I was enamored for about an hour. And I think you guys will appreciate if you don't know them already.

A fun game I used to do. I've said this on the podcast before was like if i when i was poor very poor now i'm just like run of the mill um and filling up gas it was like i would stop at like 13 bucks 14 bucks 15 bucks and a random number and i would look what happened in that year oh yeah that's cool yeah so there's so many years dating back. So many years. Dating back. You see, Jet A. Dude. All right.

May 11th, 1811. The birthday of Chinese Thai. They're Chinese of origin. Lived in Thailand. Conjoined twins. Chang and Ang, who gained worldwide fame in the 19th century. Why are

these conjoined twins significant? Why do you think? Chang and Ang? Yeah. First of all, don't name them. I know what you mean. They're going to have a tough enough go. No, no. These are one of the good ones. Like, they have both, they have two arms each yeah two

legs each they're just like wait let me see them just the ribs one of the good ones what are the bad ones the ones who just like one person one person is just ahead these guys have bodies why are they significant conjoined twins? 1811 from Thailand.

Are they the first photographed? Because it wasn't Thailand back then. It was Siam. They are the Siamese twins. And now the expression came to be. And what a life they have lived. There needs to be a movie about them somebody leonard nimoy tried to pitch a movie it got rejected but this is a what a story i'll deliver

the bullet points they moved to the u.s at age 18 or 17 to be like part of a freak show act um they successfully yeah no shit yeah they're the first time imagine like they're the first ever and like the freak show just like all right here's a woman that weighs 126 pounds what you're in who's next and then their jaw just drops yeah and it was like that they were successful immediately and they went independent they toured for a decade successfully and then fucked off to mount airy north carolina where they became U.S. citizens. Round of applause, boys.

Not so fast. They then bought slaves. The Siamese twins bought slaves. They're Asian Siamese twins with slaves. And then they married local sisters and fathered 21 children. Holy fuck. These Asian Siamese twins had slaves, 21 kids.

They were married to local sisters and their respective families lived in separate houses where they alternated three day stints. And then one day Chang woke up to Aang dead. And he stayed it. Then I'm going to and passed away an hour later, but he suffered the entire hour cold sweats rashes bubble gut i made the bubble yeah that's chang and they say that's the worst poor guy died with bubble waking up next to your a dead body attached to you and just like oh my

tummy hurts yeah so that i thought that was insane then may 11 1981 bob marley died i thought he died like 10 years ago no 80s 81 dude the first siamese twins and they own slaves i need to see how that worked did they each have their own dick yeah yeah and how the reproduction process we always say like how do time these twins like cook up or have sex how did these guys yeah with two separate wives that were they were sisters but not if you look at their bodies they have it so they could have a threesome or a foursome they could have a foursome without any like it wouldn't be too hard. Yeah. Damn. Dude, they look... You look like you could just, like,

do this with your hand and they'd come apart. It had to have been so... What were they sharing? It looks... This is... Doesn't it look like just part of their rib? Are you sure they have arms behind there? Look, that's an arm.

Oh. They have three arms. Three arms? Yeah. The one guy's lucky has a right and a left. I'd say neither are lucky. They were. They lived to like 60 something.

Yeah. Rich. Had their own slaves, which they wanted. So good. That's made them happy. So they lived a good life. I just can't imagine an 1811 like some guy and wherever he was from just like yeah come to america you're gonna be part of a circus and then they just pick up

and move well it sounds like they were the first conjoined twins ever so like what are you gonna do with them was the primary transport then when was the car like common i would say the late 1800s so if they were there in 1811 they would just have to like ride a horse, but with their middle acting as a lake. So it'd just be like each dangling on the side. That's why we need a fucking movie. That would be so funny. We need a movie.

I need to see how they, yeah, did anything. You should write the screenplay. And so it's like the one guy meeting the one sister. He's like, I think I know somebody. Is your sister single? Like there's somebody I want to introduce her to. It's like, let me fucking guess. Is it him?

Yeah. God damn. I would think that Asians alone, let alone Asian freak shows would have it harder than black people in the South back then. They just became slave owners. 343 is the area code of ottawa ontario technically the only small part of it is but we're not going to get stringent with

fucking ottawa i don't know shit about ottawa 343 is the ottawa metro i know snoop dog's trying to buy the senators has about a million people in the city. Okay. 1.4 in the Metro. Famous people, quite the list. Really? One of these is my favorite, one of my favorite, one of these is my favorite vocalist of all time, which you should be able to guess. One is a TV personality regarded as the greatest of all time in his specific craft. You know, one, one is a legendary pioneer of his specific sub genre of comedy. And one is a one hit wonder African-American public figure,

not American. Oh, fuck it. That one job. Okay. My favorite vocalist of all time from Ottawa. I'm thinking Celine Dion. Celine Dion.

I think she's from fucking Vancouver. I don't know. It's not her. She's. Oh, yeah, that's a good guess. Your favorite vocalist. I don't know. Oh, I said it before on this show, too.

And I've told you in private. It's Alanis Morissette. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. TV personality regarded as the greatest of all time in his role. Johnny Carson? Close. Alex Trebek. Oh.

You knew it? Yeah, pipe up next time. All right, one of the legendary pioneers. I don't know about legendary. One of the pioneers of a specific subgenre of comedy. Absurdist. Shock factor Tom Green Oh

The one hit wonder African One hit wonder black Public figure One hit wonder male or female Male Chameleon air Justin Trudeau. One of the breakout star in medical actressing.

Oh, the Asian girl. Sandra. Oh, I'd like to graze on her anatomy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, go a couple extra innings with her. I did write that down. Yeah.

It was. I think it was a decent delivery. That was really good. I thought that was off the dome. Matthew Perry, Dan Aykroyd. All right. Decent list. The mayor of Ottawa is Mark Sutcliffe, but his Instagram is Z Quill. Really good. I thought that was off the dome. Matthew Perry, Dan Aykroyd. All right. Decent list.

The mayor of Ottawa is Mark Sutcliffe, but his Instagram is ZQuill. So we're audibling to the city of Orleans, an Ottawa suburb of about 120,000 people. They don't have a mayor, but they have the equivalent, which is an MPP, Member of Provincial Parliament. His name is Stephen Blaz. B-L-A-I-S. Maybe that's Blaze. Maybe it's not. 42 years of age. The MPP of Orleans, Ontario.

Instagram handle Stephen Blas. B-L-A-I-S. That's Stephen with a P-H. Is he the one with the most recent? I'm sure he has a penthouse too because he is making a lot of money. 1173 followers. Let's not get it confused with Stephen with a V because his post is just jelly beans. Nine likes. Wait, there's a Stephen Blas with a V because his post is just jelly beans. Nine likes.

Wait, there's a Steven Blas with a V who just posted jelly beans? Yeah. Hashtag jelly beans. Hashtag Easter. Hashtag yummy. One comment. Your Insta is 100. Okay, we're audibling again.

That's who we're heat checking. We need a... No, it's just his art and it's not good. Oh, I thought that was his only pick. no no see is he this is one of my favorites he might be because he said if you take a picture of jelly beans and post it on instagram yes but here's also some just like wilting limes oh yeah that's put the lime in the coke. Was this like 2011, 12, 13? Yeah. He's he's not.

He's not good. Here's a drawing of a hand. Oh, that looks. Yeah, it's bad. You don't you don't flaunt that. I walked past you draw. I was drawing Snooki and I walked past you in the office and I was like, what are you doing? You're like, I'm trying to get better.

I'm taking up new skills. I'm trying to get better. I didn't mean better at drawing. I mean, better at things. You also don't own. You don't. You didn't have a computer. You were looking at your phone.

It wasn't even your own paper. So I saw Ken Jack, which is like, who drew this picture of a woman on my shit? Did he know he's a snooki? He didn't. He didn't say it was. Do you want to go get it? Because I don't think it looks like. Well, that's why I'm so obsessed with the drawing now because the human face is so hard to reproduce no matter how well i think i'm copying and it's frustrating too because you're like i'm looking at it why can't i know that's what's that's why

i want to learn how to do it like a recognizable face so we'll get to that i'll get to that and you'll try to push me over okay those are our goals yeah we're doing self-improvement we're both fucking watching movies but i'm sorry steven blaze with a ph not with a v unless you want to see the jelly beans look at both yeah um don't like the picture don't give him any false confidence he doesn't need that as an artist he needs to to quit um what do we got steven blaze profile pic strong crumbly colored hair three on the size inch up top matte paste and slight part to stage left forehead is large

it looks like a piece of hillshire farm cold cut honey ham his north brows barely poke out from the guise of his sunglasses I think they're botega shade with the gray tint not botega and I don't think they're ray bands either they're prescription lenses those the dudes their prescription lenses

those are yeah zoom in on his face you can see his face goes in a lot that the raymond prohibits the goatee is enchanting it looks like he takes it off and wears it on his wrist like a bracelet before he sinks a cornhole neck looking like a half-finished clay pot gently caressed but what i believe is the banana republic had their pink polo 49.99 he dropped a grant like jada pink steven gloss next well let's scroll down he's doing something with trees and shovels but he doesn't have a shovel so i think he was just lollygagging and slacking at the shovel convention but the bright red columbia this is my favorite maybe one of my favorite pieces in the annals of the heat checks. Bright red Columbia Whirlybird.

And that's interchangeable men's jacket. The Whirlybird for, I believe, heat check Columbia is 100% fire. Like the space shuttle. Okay. But Houston, we have a problem with that denim and those kicks. I won't get into it because I like this guy. What was he doing? Great posture for a portly man.

Incredible posture. And we'll go to the weekend of March 20th. He's on a bachelor's. He was down on the left coast of Mexico in Todos Santos. He's on the Tropic of Cancer. So, you know, he balled. Look at that platter. Wait a minute.

That was the hardest bar i've ever heard in my life it's a paraphrase of drake's bar topic of cancer so you know he balled it was pretty good it's better than drake's what was his uh you know i balled chemo yeah yeah jesus christ that's just not even a that's not a joke um yes he's having a blast in Baja with his Cinnabon Delight H&M Navy Blue Anchor Pattern Polo. Only $14.99. He passes the heat check. We're going to leave it at that. Come on, come on, come on.

I didn't read the come on line right. But yeah, he passes. Wait, how were you supposed to read the heat check line? I was supposed to say, he passes the heat check. Come on, come on on instead of like I did I don't know why I wrote that that was stupid oh my god

what else I'm trying to deal with patience that's I think my biggest flaw right now patience as in like I am so impatient and it starts with I think my phone addiction may have started in like severe phone addiction where I compulsively check it. Why would you not?

It's the best. Right. And that started probably close to 10 years ago. Yeah. And I just realized that everything, if I'm waiting in line for five seconds, I pull it out. Like five seconds didn't pass.

So I had to dead that and it took a while to dead. And now can do things like watch movies i take this which is sad yeah because i would have i could watch a movie all the way through without ever pausing or even thinking about my phone dude now you just gotta i take a walk every morning without a phone on me and then you gotta take holy basil holy basil yeah buy holy basil capsules. It's a pill? Yeah. Trust me. And I started timing myself.

Timing yourself what? I'm standing at red lights, standing at, waiting for the subway. I'm like, no one waits for the subway longer than me. I timed it. The first one was six minutes, 34 seconds, which is pretty long. Yeah, for the subway? It felt like 20. And then the next three, this might be a gift from the holy spirit look at that three straight zero seconds or i just want in the subway was there so that's golly does that uh factor into

your dopamine levels no i don't know what's going on i almost lost my cool on the subway two days ago i felt a hand on my shoulder and i turned around it was a guy without a nose how do you turn around like if you're a guy without a nose you're a guy you can't be approaching you should be introverted yeah but like at least like there has to be some sort of like before hey man behind you don't have a nose yeah you gotta let him know you can't let someone asking for money i turn around and just i did and i reacted how i'd have i think i reacted good good for that situation bad if you saw it

because I was just more of a yeah and like I was already startled by the hand and then you're just like oh boy who could this be maybe somebody I know yeah he's probably compensating by like hey I can touch I may not have a nose but I can touch

yeah you probably think that's his like skill my touching is like 10 times better now. I may not have a nose, but I can touch. You probably think that's his like skill. My touching is like 10 times better now that I don't have a nose. It's amazing. No, it's not. It still feels like a normal hand. Yeah. Yeah. But I like, you know, I follow the arm up and it was like pretty regular arm.

And then you got to missing a nose. You can't hide it. It's tough. You can't hide it. Yeah. And the thing is, like, you can't like, you know you can't hide it yeah and the thing is like you can't like you know i hide my face like you know glass it like can't wear glasses yeah what are you gonna do with it yeah shocked me there was a homeless guy on my flight no i'm kidding I'm going to buy them.

No, they don't have a delay. Buy them what? A flight. To where? Send them anywhere. A peach tree city, Georgia. Send them to Appleton, Wisconsin. They'd probably love it there.

They'd love Appleton? No, that's one of my places I want to go. One of the shortest flights. No, it's one of the smallest uh airports in the u.s shit i used to follow a flight attendant that was always going to appleton you would follow flight attendants it was a guy too i just thought it was an interesting life i was trying to get over my flight anxiety so i was just like i'm gonna follow this guy that's going to on these short fucking flights yeah yeah yeah is he like famous for that no i don't think he had like i was like i was definitely still like a double digit follower

dude you have to let me know if you see the homeless guy on the not the homeless guy the noseless guy i'll probably i wonder i bet you more noseless people are homeless than have homes but uh yeah anyway you if you see the noseless guy on the train you have to let me know oh yeah if i see the noseless i'm gonna let you know yeah you didn't have to tell me that i'm gonna let everyone know oh i think i saw him too uh yeah you you don't think you did if there's two noseless guys they might be You don't think you did. There's two noseless guys.

There might be. Yeah, it was jarring. How does that even happen? Cocaine? I think he was burnt. Oh. Ow. Get on him. That would suck.

What was that? Get on him. That would suck. What was that? That was like me picturing him burning his nose off. Can you call a dentist for me? Yeah, I have to. Yeah. And we'll call it. I also, in London, I got, there's like a poodle Pokemon named Furfro

but you can get him a haircut there that you can't get anywhere right on the diamond cut I believe is what it's called pretty cool hi my son has an upcoming appointment not scheduled yet but he is a member of your doctor's office

okay we had a question about the son has an upcoming appointment, not scheduled yet, but he is a member of your doctor's office. We had a question about the safety or potential risk of he's doing a challenge where he's attempting to break the Guinness World Record for the most consecutive days chewing a single piece of bubble gum. He's going for about three months.

Is there any real oral health concerns with this? Same piece of gum? Like, is it his mouth, or does he take it out, eat, and then put it back in, and stuff like that? He's just going to take it out at night, put it behind his ear, and then put it back in in the morning. But it will be the same wad of gum. Okay. So as far as just the germs,

is a lot of gum... We accounted for germs. We just wanted to know if his mouth would be at risk or his teeth. His teeth can, because since you're putting germs, like it's just nonstop the same germs that he's chewing

on the surface of his teeth could catch a cavity um the gums could possibly catch these are all possibilities okay um but as far as when it comes to like something yeah because um it's just i basically think about um not brushing your teeth for a long time. You're still putting the same thing back in his mouth. But for something as significant like a... He could get cavities from it. Understood.

What if we washed the gum on a daily basis? If the gum is washed, I don't see any concerns for that. That's all we need to hear. He could to have a cavity because it's still chewing gum and then his jaw because the gum does get hard um his jaw could get like you know some people get tmj and that's like a lifetime issue from that um the guinness world records it would be his it's his. It's just three months.

That's why you're doing it. It would just be three months. Minor injuries or concerns wouldn't be an issue. It would be soreness in his jaw, which will cause TMJ and TMJ is like a lifetime thing. It's worth going viral.

It's worth going viral. It's basically like, think about working out and you're just working out your arm. Hey, Nick, you're good to go. We're going to do it. Thank you. Much appreciate it. Yeah, alright, so I'm going to go.

I have aspartame-free, sugar-free gum on my desk. You're going to try. I'm going to try. You have to. And I'll just wash the gum. I guess I'll mouthwash with the gum in my mouth. You're going to try. I'm going to try. You have to. And I'll just wash the gum. I'll just, I guess, I guess I'll mouthwash with the gum in my mouth. Yeah, then you're good. If you wash it, she said, if you wash it

every day, it's not an issue. She wasn't caught off guard. Why was she so prepared for that? She's damn good at her job. It's a phenomenal employee. I was hoping that she'd be like, don't do this. Or I thought she'd just be like, what?

I don't know. Google it. Yeah, alright. So I'm going to put the gum in my mouth. I'm going to get... Next episode, I'll put the gum in. Okay. That'll be day one. Yeah.

A couple housekeeping items. New Out of Order comes out tonight. Yeah. It's a phenomenal show. One of my favorite shows. Yeah. I have a cameo appearance. Here we go.

Nice appearance. Good. I look black in the promotional images. Oh, the colored ones? Yeah. Well. Well, not. Okay.

No, black works. Black would be better i meant how they put out one graphic and colored them differently but yes uh yeah sure caught me there um i'm into a wrestler now austin uh theory austin de santo oh yeah oh he's the uh he's a psychopath you know him nick yeah he's a psycho how do you know that yeah he's like yeah he wrestles but i think yeah he's crazy i saw like a highlight video on tiktok i was like this guy he's damn good yeah he's been like that he's a he's a dickhead it seems he's cocky oh yeah a little bit so he got his he started off he was no one has ever heard of him in high school he was going to drexel i don't even know if he was on a scholarship and that's when he upset spencer lee who was the number one wrestler in the world

and they were like who is this austin de santo they ended up being teammates yeah he's phenomenal wrestler is he still at drexel you transferred to iowa after yeah yeah my question was do all these wrestlers now want to become ufc guys um a lot more so, but I think we're seeing a swing of wrestlers wanting to become WWE wrestlers. Yeah. The pay is higher. It's less risk. Yeah.

Health risk. I don't know. All those guys die really badly. Yeah. I don't know if it is less of a health risk. Maybe immediate health risk. Yeah. So wait, if you beat Spencer Lee, like anybody, can you just transfer to any school you want

and they'll pay your scholarship? Is that how that works? Yeah, unless that was just like, if you keep up decent success and you beat, yeah, then you could. Right now, Penn State's just dominating wrestling. With the money, the NILs are just getting all of the best wrestlers. In other schools, even WVU,

they don't have the money to give out, which sucks. No, their basketball coach is in hot water. Did you see that? Yeah, I'm rocking this shirt right here. Yeah, dude, he said that confidently. He was drunk. Was he drunk?

Yeah, and then immediately after, he said fogs fog as in followers of god and then they did not attempt that they tried it for about 35 minutes after it happened and then like he said he said it twice people were like huggins is so he probably doesn't even know you can't say that no way he knows he was drunk that's insane and he hates xavier i feel like radio should be like the last frontier, though, where nothing is censored. What is going to happen to him? They find him a million dollars.

And he's suspended for like three games. Yeah. Yeah. He's paid like three point. He's still making three million dollars this year. I'm going to sign him. But I'll pay them. You're going to go like Nike pay and Michael Jordan's fine.

Too much color on the shoe. Yeah, I'll sign Bob Huggins. Chick-fil-A is paying for his. Last note, I had our boy BLP Kosher came out with a new song, Castle. He's good. Awesome. No funniness. He's just good. Yeah, he is good. Awesome. No funniness. He's just good.

Yeah, he is good. Yeah. What about you? Me? Yeah. What's going on with you? I did get a prank call over the weekend. It's a TikTok trend.

There's this woman on TikTok named Francesca Stugat. Have you seen this at all? No. have you seen this at all no she prank calls dudes at like two o'clock in the morning and gaslights them into thinking that they met a girl named francesca stugat that would work yeah and she gets like millions of views on her tiktoks because she just gets like horny guys like oh yeah i remember you like she's like she's like yeah long brown hair big boobs skinny waist like you don't remember me i would i wouldn't fall for that i i fell you did you get one of those she said long hair if you said you don't remember me that's the sign of a prank i

knew it was a prank but i was you were kind of hoping it was like maybe i did when i was blacked i was like this could have happened i was like maybe she does she post these conversations she posts them online she hasn't posted my video yet but i'm like kind of what would you say was it embarrassing uh there's definitely going I'm like kind of what would you say? Was it embarrassing? There's definitely going to be some embarrassing moments. What did you say? Like I was at one point I was like, oh, it's my friend Kelly, like prank calling me. I said at one point, like, am I getting human trafficked right now?

Like what's going on here? How do you get my number? Because it is kind of like blindsiding when some random person calls you. They have your number. She like had personal information on me. How did she do she asked she has like a google form in her bio you can submit like who you want to get prank calls so someone submitted you someone submitted me like she like knew i worked for barstool said that like we had oh that's a good idea that is a good idea yeah we had a five minute conversation the entire time i'm just like who who is this um so i'm very nervous for that to come out.

I stood strong, though. I didn't get like gaslit. Good man. Good man. You also played a character with AIDS. And oh, yeah, it's not not a character. Please. I'm just super horny.

You method act. If Shia LaBeouf, they were like, you got to play a role with AIDS. He'd just start like fucking dudes. Yeah. Yeah. I got to play myself. It was nice. I was trying to fuck and that's what

i'm trying to do all the time so not a big deal nice yeah i mean that's any successes on the pussy front um i've cooled off i've cool i'm back in the gym so we're gonna gym a metaphorical gym of like training to get pussy both yeah i want to better myself and get pussy okay yeah yeah good on you yeah no notes none appreciate it anything else uh subscribe to the youtube oh please yeah we've been we've been stagnant as all hell we're at worse slowly going up but we get once we push yeah i mean we don't really mention yeah if you're listening on apple which i think or spotify or the podcast you're that's most people and i know maybe you're not interested in watching the youtube but uh go subscribe now just to do it simple as that yep that's all i got awesome uh kyle anything to add

no i'm good do i have anything i might should i post the tiktok post that for sure i'm afraid you don't think it's problematic no no jesus oh i did see a hear me out tweet with uh jessica alba oh my god that was probably a joke i don't i don't know she was sitting courtside at a playoff game and she looked good yeah yeah that's their. Hear me out. Coleman, who's your worst? Be honest. Be honest. You know what we're talking about? Yeah. Well, like, who's my worst?

Yeah. Yeah. Mine's Angela Merkel. Let me see. She was the former chancellor of Germany. Let me. Powerful. she was the former chancellor of Germany let me powerful kind of like same thing but like say it

like Marjorie Taylor Greene that's not all bad here see people are afraid to truly admit their worst Ellen that's bad okay that was good old school afraid to truly admit their worst. Ellen. That's bad. Okay, that was good.

Old school. That's fine. Old school isn't bad, but now it would be bad. Dude, imagine just fucking Ellen really well. She's really well. You got her screaming. Dude, I fucked the shit out of ellen oh my god she's a fuck oh my god that was the best i've ever had that's what that's what it was once you stopped trying to be the guy who got pussy in college it was so freeing i was never the the guy. The guys who established themselves

as guys who get pussy were in a constant battle. There was no winning. They were always trying to one-up each other. Their lives were miserable. Were you ever that guy? No. Good man. Me either. I wish Rudy were here.

Hockey players are different. We've talked about that. Different beasts. All right, guys. New and told story. Thank you for listening. God bless.