A New Untold Story - Baseball II - A New Untold Story: Ep. 424

Episode Date: November 28, 2024

happy thanksgiving brg's, here is more baseball and weird history. please go to store.barstoolsports.com and pickup some merch, everything is 20% off. the new platson t's and crewnecks are amazing. ... ads: Gametime - Download the Gametime app today and use code UNTOLD to easily score great deals with the new Gametime Picks! Hellofresh - Get 10 FREE meals at https://HelloFresh.com/freeanus. Applied across 7 boxes, new subscribers only, varies by plan. MobileX - Go check out https://mymobilex.com or download the MobileX app from the App Store or Google Play.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, a new untold story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcast, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad free on Amazon Music. You good? Mm hmm. You mean you're exactly replied to what I'm going to say? No, you're just going to say, no, that's a new untold story. Hey, is that story old or told? Fuck no, baby.
Starting point is 00:00:22 That's a new untold story. A new untold story. A A new untold story episode 488. Yes it's 424. It's an overlay area code for the Beverly Hills area. Time is moving so fast other than our episode count. I swear 420 was last year. Yeah. It's almost like I don't like doing this. Almost though. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:16 I love it. Yeah, yeah. 424? 424. Beverly Hills, which we've been. And it was like, I found it really underwhelming. We stayed a night there. I expected like Monaco.
Starting point is 00:01:35 Yeah, I expected it to be more bustling. I guess it's purely like residential, like mansions. I bet you I would like it if I lived there. I don't think there was much to it. I mean, I would like it if I lived there. I don't there was much to it I mean I got like kratom there. How was the Beverly Hills kratom? It's just like the other kratom or I don't know the effects are positive or negative It's they've never been leaning negative. Yeah, you just feel like shit, and I think I got like fake bootleg Adderall there. You know like First off it's it's like called like at all
Starting point is 00:02:06 That's what it's called. It's like it's in gas stations. Oh, I have there are some that just say Adderall Yeah, and it's like that's just like you take it in like You have the energy and focus to like really hone in on the dread you're feeling Yeah, you can get the only thing you can focus on is how fast your heart is beating. Yeah, it energizes you in that sense. You have the... I'm really locked in on my mortality, my dwindling mortality.
Starting point is 00:02:34 It gives you the adrenaline to really think about how you're about to die. It'll have you looking up local hospitals and organizing how close they are. It won't have you feeling good. That's like the that's that's rock bottom. Beverly Hill. No, dude. I think people what buying you buying
Starting point is 00:02:54 Kratom when we were in like the upper peninsula is rock bottom. No, I think just buying gas station Adderall is the rock bottom. Yeah, that's some true addict shit. It's like worse than like just being a junkie. Cause like you know it's not gonna affect you positively. You were just looking for a feeling that wasn't normalcy. Right. Which in saying that out loud is as sad as it could get.
Starting point is 00:03:17 Life is all too familiar. Wow. Even like everyone is familiar. Yeah, right, but... Every... Other than suck fuck you other than substances You don't do anything different to change it. You'll switch up only the substances you take I Switched I'm on insomnia cookies now you went from crumbling something are the best yeah
Starting point is 00:03:42 I didn't want to say anything when you were talking about crumble. I only have only been inside? I think they're the best, yeah. I didn't want to say anything when you were talking about crumble, I have only been insomnia. I think they're the best, yeah, thank you. Yeah, they're very nice. The oatmeal raisin, I die. Oh. I die on the oatmeal raisin hill. So you're trying to fit in, but you're still trying to be better than us, and that's what's really in it.
Starting point is 00:03:57 No, I just like oatmeal raisin cookies. There's no agenda, I just. No, you just die on the hill, like we'll leave you there and we'll ignore your body. Thank you. We'll let the corpse rot. We'll leave you there and we'll ignore your body And all that no guys I've been eating a ton of cookies to the oatmeal raisins fuck You think aloe vera every morning? Yeah, that's because my stomach rebels against my body That's cuz my my insides try to come out of my asshole every single day
Starting point is 00:04:20 And I don't feel that my insides hate being called that oh Yeah, we'll show you Don't put a label on me do yeah really were your insides. What are we doing hanging in your bowl? Oh? We're the insides My innards are a rebellious teen don't fucking tell me what to do Those are the Adels Yeah, that's the worst thing you can buy Beverly Hills Named after Beverly, Massachusetts that sucks wait what Beverly Hills
Starting point is 00:05:01 I hate when town is named after another towns so common like New York, New Hampshire You add an adjective I guess adding it like a different word But like Richmond, California is named after Richmond, Virginia Which is named after Richmond the town in London which is named after Richmond a town in Yorkshire Which is named after a guy named rich like that. It's just like that sucks. Just call it like fucking like Flora Buffen or like something new mm-hmm For buffins good mook is looking up the reviews of at all took two last night ended up in the hospital
Starting point is 00:05:35 What were your symptoms? It was so it was weird and horrible at the same time I? Can handle one or the other and the people buying it know that's what they're gonna get Yeah, they're like weird could be funky and horrible horrible could also like horrible when horrible was alone It's bad, but horrible combined with weird. Maybe yeah, right There's some horrible weird movies that I'll rewatch the pinnacle of optimism is going into a gas station and being like oh Maybe they're Adderall. I'm gonna get a really good buzz from what I I'm gonna get some pure shit from this Sonoco. Maybe this gas station really perfected this medicine that is FDA approved.
Starting point is 00:06:14 I'm going to pay $7 for not they're not even like locked behind anything, right? No, they're right in front of the counter. And dude, like it's like it has a picture of like a rhino on it that still has the dreams time watermark on it. They're not even using Getty That's a It's the XR that you are the biggest loser in the world. She bought it you did it Did you guys remember swag the the sex pill that the gas station dick pills swag
Starting point is 00:06:45 So I remember swag it was a gangster. It was sex with a grudge Okay, this the labeling on this was insane Yeah, look at one of the pictures oh That's swag too. Oh swag is short for sex with a grudge sex with it You take one to hurt it to to kill it yeah dude guys that fuck for to inflict pain there's a large genre man they're in McKeesport Pennsylvania are they yes there's guys who fuck for status guys who fuck for sport and then guys who fuck for the pain infliction yeah the swag I fucking destroyed last
Starting point is 00:07:25 And she's not gonna be fucking walking the never like I had a good pool with the girl. I was really interested in it was I Ruined her they say ruin absolutely ruin. I absolutely just she will never be the same That's not good. She will not walk again. Yeah. She loved it. No, she didn't. Beverly Hills started out as a all-white planned community, and selling or renting to Jews was forbidden. That's where I wanna be.
Starting point is 00:08:04 Weezer. Hmm That's where I wanna be That would be the most problematic song when it first Cuomo rivers Cuomo Give me give me give me give me he He probably made $100 million from that song. God, I love names. I love that there are people named Rivers Cuomo. Rivers Cuomo. And I love that his brother's name is Leaves Cuomo. Is it really?
Starting point is 00:08:37 Yeah. Rivers Cuomo and Leaves Cuomo? He's a professor at UMass. I think he went to Brown. I think he changed his name. Rivers did. I feel like you would be in, like I don't understand. I think he went to Brown. I think he changed his name. Rivers did. I feel like you would be in, like I don't understand. I wasn't a Weezer guy too much.
Starting point is 00:08:49 They're pretty cool. They were dorky guys, but they were pretty well respected. They had like a cult-like fan base. Yeah, yeah. Dudes throwing up the W's at the show. I saw them in high school. It was a Weezer weasel show yeah, yeah
Starting point is 00:09:05 They're I think some of their stuff got really really like they kind of suck now It's like sublime for like people who are aspire to be like grad students. It's sublime for dudes that wear casios, right? Yeah Yeah, but like I think their new stuff is actually abysmal is actually abysmal. Yeah. Yeah. Pork and Beans was an awful song. Beverly Hills is a really good song.
Starting point is 00:09:33 Now I know, now, if I picture him singing about that. What? Gimme gimme. Gimme gimme? Is that the extent of the like, how deep the got that's where he wants to be his automobile was a piece of crap My fashion senses a little like and my friends are just I'm not a lyric judger No sounds good All right guys quick tiny break
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Starting point is 00:12:48 by plan. That's 10 free HelloFresh meals. Just go to HelloFresh.com slash free anus. But it's also Trey Song's birthday. Happy birthday to Trey. I feel like we're in like a readily available porn era, but nothing was more sexual than the Trace Songs era. The hot R&B black men, they would go on stage and 50,000 women would scream like elephant
Starting point is 00:13:22 seals and they would go on, he would bring one at a time on stage. Well look at him first of all. And just fuck them. He would fuck them on stage? No they would fuck him. Really? They'd go up on stage and fuck him? There was nothing more sexual
Starting point is 00:13:31 than a Trey Songz concert. He'd be like, I'm the best at sex. And he'd call one up and he would take his shirt off and then like she would squeeze him and then he would. Look at the first picture. He would start from, yeah. They would like rape him. Wait, so I've seen it like dude does he turn around they pull his pants down
Starting point is 00:13:49 He shows his butt. Yeah, they would like tried always try to take his belt off Yeah, like stop them and he'd be like no he'd bring that mic up to his face to be like stop that Sing that they'd stop and he was like no just fucking stop teasing me And he'd like start at their scalp and like work his way down Really and they would make out for ten minutes and the women that girl. She's so excited Because Tremaine called her up on stage. He would just take it He's looking around like he's like oh shit somebody might see Oh, I think we're caught I think we're busted
Starting point is 00:14:24 Look at that devilish smirk. Oh, I think we're caught. I think we're busted You'd like they would like bite his like neck and he would like pull their hair And he's not still touring is he I think he is I think he was canceled for some sexual things He couldn't have been more sexual Yeah, that I mean the thing is like The girl's defense could be like why would hide anything? I do it right here. Oh no, she, there's, oh my god. He's taking his shirt off slower than any man has ever been wiping his sweat off with his shirt. Is he getting off on his own scent? And you make them wait. He's making them wait. preferred himself. Oh, yeah. Wait, what's he doing? She's giving her his chain And all the other girls are going nuts they love it
Starting point is 00:15:10 But they all go with the intention of making out with Trey and fucking him And I girls like my class my freshman class really well, we're going to trade night And we're gonna and we're gonna throw our airy panties at we're gonna throw our airy panties at him. We're gonna throw our bras at him. He would get pelted. He would be like drowning in bras and panties. He was wounded. There'd be panties all over the stage. He would like step on one, like you'd think he would slip.
Starting point is 00:15:35 Then he would hit a gainer and then just fuck one of these girls. And then sing like, I invented sex. Is that a Trey Song song? I invented sex? Say ah, I invented sex Is that a Trey Song song? Yeah, I invented sex say ah I invented sex like na na lol smiley face oh Oh, he does have a song called I invented sex I think Drake
Starting point is 00:15:59 Drake hopped on it and Like what do they two dudes can't invent sex together. Drake thinks he's fucking. We invented sex. Drake thinks he's Orville Wright. Dude, no, it was just Trey. It was just, Trey, yeah, like, Trey was Thomas Edison. It's not a Wright Brothers situation.
Starting point is 00:16:17 Yeah. That ear was insane. Yeah, it was like a Marion. Me and Trey invented sex together. Dude. No, Trey. I invented it alone. It was just Trey's song.. Oh, dude. Oh, Drake. I invented it alone. It was just Trey's song.
Starting point is 00:16:27 You're just on the song. Drake. I'm Trey's songs. Is that how it went? I don't know. I invented sex featuring Drake. That's the funniest title. I invented, if you read that as the whole, I invented sex featuring Drake.
Starting point is 00:16:44 He invented the threesome with the two They were just wearing fedoras and shit doing this oh yeah, and yeah and like thick they were trying to be like dorks Mm-hmm like the thicker in plastic glasses. Yes, that was a big from Rue 21 It was just a tie glasses and a fedora. Yeah, wait I Invented sex that is the coolest Just a tie, glasses, and a fedora. Yeah, wait. I invented sex. That is the coolest. I just wanna read his song titles. He's handsome, man.
Starting point is 00:17:14 This is back when women were horny for celebrities. Right. Not anymore. They're not anymore. Now it's like, he's hot, but not sexy, he's like reptile core. Yeah, you're right. Neighbors reptile core. Yeah. Yeah, you're right neighbors know my name That's so tough neighbors know my name. Oh, mr. Steel your girl Sex ain't better than love
Starting point is 00:17:39 You mentioned Trey songs getting um Like smothered in panties I Have been reading about weird deaths mook look up. There's this guy that drowned in coats. I didn't send it to you not on that There's another guy. I've been like really into unusual deaths There's a guy that drowned in coats at a party people just kept on And he drowned in a bunch of coats Because I was like they're heavier than the average garment, but I don't I can't fathom that
Starting point is 00:18:08 No, not that Yeah, I don't know why it's showing people that actually drowned in a yacht party this guy got smothered by coats and died But I've been looking up since we've been on this old-timey baseball kick. I'm like during that era How were other people dying? Just as funny. Just as funny. In the same era, Moog, if you wanna go to that Wikipedia I sent you, they have a list of these deaths
Starting point is 00:18:34 that happened in the old timey baseball era. This one guy fell off his horse onto a turnip, died. The turnip killed him. Or the impact of the ground. It was the turnip that killed him he was a British MP Severe internal injuries when he fell on a turnip while hunting, but that's not specific to like the era old times I don't I don't know wasn't like there was more turn Maybe this guy went to sleep in a field and a snake crawled down his throat dead
Starting point is 00:19:00 Oh my god, that cannot that cannot be real there so, I would wake up when it got into my mouth. It wouldn't be like slithering down my throat. It would not make it all the way down. Mook scroll up. There's like a lot of good ones. Like, um, abdominal pain by swinging at a ball. That was a baseball player. He died. And yeah, Jim Creighton. Is that how I got here? A circus clown, a 13-year-old boy died in San Francisco
Starting point is 00:19:30 after a circus clown named Manuel Reyes swung him around by his heels. The thing that's overstated here, he was 13. That's a strong ass clown. That's like a baby. No, a baby I could see a teenager getting swarming die It's always pneumonia no matter what happens you get pneumonia. There's a guy that broke his collarbone. Yeah pneumonia Arthur Zach to Zachary Taylor died of
Starting point is 00:20:00 Diarrhea because of iced milk and raw cherries the president iced milk This girl caught herself on fire hiding a cigarette from her dad That one's is brutal decapitation from us not weird. That's just that of course. How did he die from the decapitation from a cannonball? Yeah, I've just been really into this I Was reading about like the first woman that was killed by a tiger in England Just walked into the bar. She was working at killed her and there was just a tiger there it was escaped from like a novelty show and
Starting point is 00:20:35 She's marty marked on her head sound like first person to die of tiger in England. It was just in a bar Yeah walked right in Yeah, there's a lot of good It's this this time is so funny cuz you can pick out any of these and like of course. It's very dark right, but it's a What else is it's just how I feel like you if it were you back then you would have gone down from a splinter or a Humongous, I'm a hot air balloon death guy I wouldn't be in it like the basket or like the sandbag would hit
Starting point is 00:21:12 Or like just it would startle me to see it and I die Was that a bear yeah, yeah the bear hugged him to death Yeah, the bear hugged him to death Yeah, it just happens It was so easy to die back then it really was I feel like it's hard to die now knock on wood It's hard dudes aren't dying like they used to mm-hmm no No, people just kind of just go like fade away in their sleep, and it's just it's yeah There's none of those fantastic deaths. I mean, whenever I'm in New York, you'll see like a homeless guy dragging his intestines
Starting point is 00:21:48 like it's one of those old timey rocking dog toys. Er, ee, er, ee. Like he'll just be walking carrying it like it's a pet. Yeah, and he has a perfect old sack. Yeah, yeah. Incredible hair. Homeless dudes are never bald.
Starting point is 00:22:00 They're never bald. They have the best hair. Oh my God. It's wild. It's wild It's wild Yeah, I don't know what that is no stress. I Don't know either. No shampoo sunlight Pew it's hard to die. I guess humans are shockingly resilient soft though. Oh, yeah sure and Susceptible to the elements, but we can build tools our young is very susceptible to death compared to other animals
Starting point is 00:22:26 Because of how big our brains are is that what it is technically baby human babies are Premature technically compared to other animals because our brain is so big that the mother has to give birth right away because they're pussy It wouldn't enough really So I need to find a woman I need to find a woman with a giant pussy so I can have an adult baby because when you when you when you've seen like a giraffe be born those fuckers stand up like right away I mean, they look like shit. They're like covered in goop and they're like can barely stay. Oh, yeah, but like they're good to go. Mm-hmm Yeah, exactly. Yeah human babies come out and they're useless completely
Starting point is 00:23:00 Completely yeah. Yeah At what age would a baby be better than you at anything? At what age? Yeah. Me or the baby? You. Um, like is there a two year old that's better at something than you? Okay, a two year old.
Starting point is 00:23:24 Yes. Yes? at something than you. Okay, a two year old. Yes. Yes? Yes. I think there's two year olds who are better at like, working tablets. No, oh, you? Yes. Yes.
Starting point is 00:23:36 Yes. Absolutely. Yeah, you were the wrong person to ask. There's definitely two years that are better at language than me. I think there's probably a better three year old skateboarder than all of us. Skateboarding is kind of a loaded one though,
Starting point is 00:23:49 because now you almost have to be a child to be a fantastic at it. Yeah, yeah. There was a kid that just did a 1080. But like, every one-year-old, they could challenge me to anything and I'm winning. I think anything, and you can make that, like, and you can make that like And you can make that anything anything anything. I'm trying I can't think of anything
Starting point is 00:24:12 Nothing nothing sleeping I'd be better. I'd be better Yeah, if I tried I'd be better Think so yes, but they nap so well. I could do it They know I wouldn't let it win, but you could you hypothetically be picked up and continue sleeping Mm-hmm. Think so? Yes. But they nap so well. I could do it. They nap so well. I wouldn't let it win. But could you hypothetically be picked up
Starting point is 00:24:28 and continue sleeping? Definitely, if there was a, you can not. The size differential from like an adult human to a baby, if there was something double me, that would pick me up and hold me, that would be really comforting. I think you'd wake up.
Starting point is 00:24:41 Yeah, maybe. I miss that. Does a baby suck tits better than you? Oh, no, no. Hold on now. Dude, you should challenge a baby to a tit suck off. That would be closer than you'd think. I think they're more efficient.
Starting point is 00:25:02 Are they? You beat them suction-wise. I've never been fed That would be close they're in it for business you're in it for pleasure. They're in it for survival me too. If I don't I'll die Hydrate I'll fucking die. Oh I'll die. Yeah. Hydrate. I'll fucking die. Oh My god, what a homie that could lactate. Do you? Yeah, a buddy James I had a scare about last month didn't tell you guys you had a lactation. I had a lactation scare last month Went to the doctor went to urgent care. You thought you were producing milk
Starting point is 00:25:40 I had a I had a I had a pimple that Filled up a duct on the end of my nipple and it was white substance that came out Of my nipple. I went straight to urgent care. What'd they say? I went to it with fear that it was I was lactating and it was some sort of tumor like on my Thyroid or some shit or something that the hormone developing of my brain or something. Yeah quite the scare I popped the pimple You went to urgent care. Yeah, I Didn't tell you guys pimple. You went to urgent care? Yeah. I didn't tell you guys.
Starting point is 00:26:06 With a pimple on your nipple? Like a poke, because a lot came out. And I was like, this doesn't really seem like pimple. This is disgusting. But it was in the mirror and I noticed it, because my nipples go inwards. But then I got out of the shower one day and one was outwards with a white capsule.
Starting point is 00:26:22 I had a lactation scare. I had a fucking lactation scare. That's incredibly embarrassing. Yeah, dude. But like worst case scenario would be that I would just, like I went to the doctor and he was like, nothing's wrong, you're just lactating. You guys would never let me live it down.
Starting point is 00:26:37 If you were lactating. I mean, it was pretty cool when James used to do it. You're telling me James lactated? Yeah, he would just be like, oh, James do the thing and he'd be like. Yeah, but like that's fucking disgusting actually. It's not not cool in any way shape or form. It wasn't that cool Yeah, it was like seep out and then like disgusting you could tell that the milk did he get it fixed the milk was like I don't want to be here. Yeah. Yeah, did he get fixed? No, I think dude
Starting point is 00:26:57 I bet you like you could sell man milk to like a UFC fighter and he'd be like sure it's like dear antler spray Yeah, I was gonna say Ray Lewis probably has a stockpile Yeah, his doomsday bunker What else you got be anything going on I think going on? No No, I looked up some more baseball stuff It's an infinite wealth like Wikipedia and again like I've been a Wikipedia guy since probably high school before high school It's the best I didn't realize it was the best until a couple years ago. Yeah, it's the best website
Starting point is 00:27:31 It is the best by far Definitely the best website without question I'm also on Kim Jong-un titles all the time Kim Jong-il Mukai sent that to you Kim Jong-il's titles Kim Jong-il is such a cool name. Yeah, it was the coolest one. Oh boring. Yeah, there was Kim Jong-fat. That was cool PHAT Here scroll up. Yeah, then a down. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. They hit these are all his titles
Starting point is 00:28:00 Those the propagated titles are insane. So the party center was his first one. They called him the party center. Yeah, because they didn't want to announce that he was the heir. So they just called. They said the party center is here. They don't want to announce that he was the heir. That was his first nickname ever. But then superior person, dear leader, respected leader, wise leader. These are all different. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:18 Unique leader. And it's all different times when he got he got elected. Some of these, like, of course. Oh, wow. Kim Jong Kim Jong Il is running for unique person. Yeah, I think he's gonna win That one's just a statement dear leader who is a perfect in card incarnation of the appearance of That a leader should have That was a title that rolls right off the tongue
Starting point is 00:28:41 They use that for special occasions But look Korean spelled out in like English letters Impossible to pronounce. Oh, yeah, what the fuck? Yeah, I mean supreme commander I think that was his most common name father of the people son of the communist future guiding Sun Ray these are that Star Wars II most common name father of the people son of the communist future guiding son ray these are that star wars a guarantee of the fatherland's fate of the nation beloved father this guy he must have
Starting point is 00:29:17 been doing something right he was all those all that yeah he was ill dude he was Kim Jong-il he was ill with it look how long this list is Amazing politician That one might have been set in jest there was like a real time frame where you had these mastermind of revolution Yeah, dude Was the last one best at dying no probably they probably gave him that well no one of them's invincible
Starting point is 00:29:45 That was probably posthumous. Yeah, I Just want to be I Kind of want to be like that What title would you want if you could pick one right now out of all these no just like you can come up one off off top Maybe like sledgehammer slledgehammer's cool. Yeah. I'd be like the former and forever. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:08 You think like, you think there's a way, I could have a better life in North Korea. No you could. Maybe. They don't have food, dude. I don't know. Yeah they do. No they don't.
Starting point is 00:30:20 They don't have food? I don't think they have food. What do they have? Not food. They definitely have food. I would argue they have nothing They have better civilizations than many many places. No, I don't I think it's the worst place on earth, dude I think it's fine. No, that is such a bad. I've seen I've seen like Pyongyang. It looks nice
Starting point is 00:30:35 Yeah, dude the stuff they let it out the stuff they let get out looks below average. It looks fine I think I would have a nice life and there's a chance I could have if like I had a really comfortable Bed a wife who made good bulgogi I was like an accordion teacher and my like students were savants and it was like really rewarding And maybe one of the speech impediment that I could like find joy in and then one of them could just accuse you of like Disrespecting Kim Jong-un and you die. Yeah, you have to like, oh. They fry you in a brass bowl. For someone thinking you watched Forrest Gump. But that's not happening.
Starting point is 00:31:11 It's always tourists who getting killed. They're living fine. No, they are not. You don't have to worry about like bullshit plans. It's not like their mattresses are like less comfortable. Yes. I think it is I don't think look up North Korean mattress I think they have like nice They don't they don't they're not living in slums or yes, they are so your humidity
Starting point is 00:31:38 I think they have like apartment complexes and they like it's it's simple and Boring, but I think look up a North Korean work camp. That's where the majority of people live like apartment complexes and they like, it's simple and boring but. Look up a North Korean work camp, that's where the majority of people live. You would struggle there. Me now, but if I was born into it, I think I would have a nice life. You'd be brainwashed.
Starting point is 00:32:04 That doesn't look so bad. Nah man, I don't know. I think it might be literally the worst place to live on earth. Yeah, you don't even get to pick what you watch. You turn on the TV and they're like, this is TV. I think there's much worse. Like what? I think I would rather live in Siberia.
Starting point is 00:32:22 I'd rather live in Algeria. Eritrea. You're on the Mediterranean Venezuela, maybe No The Algiers would be nice. That's a good. Can you can you look up worst countries to live rankings? Do you think it's bottom five out of 256 it has to be They don't even let you know how bad it is. Right.
Starting point is 00:32:47 Because my theory is it's not too bad. The misery index? Wait, they're not even close to being the bottom. Exactly. God damn it. South Sudan. Yeah, you would rather live in North Korea than South Sudan. Really?
Starting point is 00:33:03 I don't know. Does South Sudan where they're putting those flaming tires on you? Yes, South Africa. Oh shit! At least during like the apartheid. Yeah. The misery index. Wait, do you want higher or lower? Yeah, Thailand's is high. I know what Thailand's is high.
Starting point is 00:33:23 At a certain point you'd be like, yeah, do I? Have you seen some of the Thai tourist videos? No. British dudes love the women. Yeah. Yeah, it's always suspecting. Like, yeah, I'm going to like an entrepreneur's again. I went on a trip to Thailand. It's like, okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:43 What are we doing here? What are we doing yeah what are we doing here like it's where Ziz died who Ziz is the guy that started aesthetic the king of aesthetic zyzz yeah that's where he passed You have more baseball? Do we talk about the 1899 Cleveland Spiders? Don't think we did. The worst team of all time? Of all time.
Starting point is 00:34:13 They went 20 and 134. Cleveland just has the worst. The Cleveland Spiders. They were good. They had Cy Young. Wow. And the owners bought the St. Louis Perfectos and just transferred all of the good players on the spiders to the perfectos Wow, they were truly the bad news bears for a while who they have on the team. So Cy Young went to the perfectos
Starting point is 00:34:37 Names you would imagine Harry cauliflower No, no, no, no, no, no, 30 year old rookie started off got a win for the Cleveland Spiders like this is the guy So oh wow then he lost the next 11 and so Cleveland Spiders started off 1-0 Sport McAllister of course Dick Harley buttermilk dowled Buttermilk a dowled Aussie Shrek and ghosts the last catcher to play without shin guards he needed them He was his last career game he was on the losing side of a perfect game and
Starting point is 00:35:11 He was also on the wrong side of Cy Young's only perfect game He implemented a no crackers in bed claws Joe Quinn was just an austri Australian mortician Lewis sock Alexis what is a crippling alcoholic? He was a native to be a crippling alcoholic back then to everyone was drunk. Yeah Their logo is their logo is cool um Their logo is logo is cool That was I mean logos back then were just like one single letter stitched on yes
Starting point is 00:35:54 Are they still existing Are they who is there like a minor league team in Cleveland that they're the spiders. I don't think so Was looking at a guy named Charlie Sweeney. He pitched for the Providence Grays in the 1880s. This is back when they had like teams would have only two pitchers and they would rotate them and Sweeney was like the best like he had 19 strikeouts in a game it would go on to be a record for 102 years until Roger Clemens in the 1980s and then He's like my arm is done. So they put an old Haas
Starting point is 00:36:30 Radborn so he had to like pitch every game and old Haas Radborn was like fuck this. I'm too achy Put Charlie Sweeney back in Charlie Sweeney starts pitching He's pitching every game again Then he's in wound socket. Oh, no kidding. Where we went. Yeah, they played a game in wound socket. He gets wasted after the game.
Starting point is 00:36:52 Has a broad over. Has sex. Wakes up. He's like, oh crap, I have to pitch in 20 minutes. Rushes to the field. This dude. Shows up wasted on the mound, visibly drunk. He's pitching the game.
Starting point is 00:37:07 They're trying to pull him because he was so drunk. He's like, I ain't, nah, I'm still pitching. Because back then, if you didn't pitch a complete game, it was like a knock on your manliness. If you didn't pitch a complete game. He's kept pitching. And then eventually, what happened to Charlie Sweeney? Mmm. They tried to pull him Before the eighth with the threat of a $50 fine
Starting point is 00:37:35 Sweeney told him to stuff their $50 fine and his whole contract He walked off the field and watched the rest of the game with a woman in each arm with two prostitutes Watched the rest of the game with a woman in each arm with two prostitutes Then old Ross had bull or rad born or old Hoss rad born had to pitch the rest of the season Oh my god full games the rest of the season. Yes poor old Hoss You look at him. He looks 100 And they hated each other
Starting point is 00:38:02 Making each other pitch because the other one was so rad born couldn't lift his arm up after the end of the season, but he broke every record. He pitched every game. He had an incredible 678.2 innings pitched. He amassed 59 wins, some say 60. I say 60. It's like two guys that just had to keep pitching despite their arms like falling off The first year pitchers could pitch overhand
Starting point is 00:38:34 And they kept being like there was six ball walks good God. He was throwing so many pitches It was like there was no rules. It was like schoolyard rules like one guy would be like no I'm not or yeah, I'm like no, I'm not or yeah I'm playing no, I'm not playing there be like oh fuck the entire organization is crumbling wait go back MOOC I Didn't know this The batters could ask for a high or low pitch and they had different strike zones You could just request a pick good God Yeah, I'm thinking Shohei Ot, Tony would do just fine back then.
Starting point is 00:39:06 Yeah. Ask where you want the pitch. All baseball is just stunning, but it was from 50 feet. What's it at now? I was it was farther back then. Ninety. It's the high defeat now. So Jesus Christ. What? Yeah. What is like so you could request a high underhand pitch from 50 feet away?
Starting point is 00:39:29 So it's 60 feet now 60 feet six so 10 feet is a ton of difference though for ball speed yeah Like what's prime Clayton Kershaw throwing at 50 feet it would teleport there you couldn't hit it I Wonder if anyone could throw that hard you think yes back then yeah Strength was weird back then it was I feel like you can only lift things Yeah, but like the fattest dudes on earth were like the strong men and they were lifting those perfect sphere dumbbells, right? That's right They were just pick up metal and they'd be. Yeah, they'd be kind of fat. But you think that someone could throw a hundred like human human.
Starting point is 00:40:10 There's some people who just throw hard as fuck. Kyle, if you went back in time, could you guarantee you'd be in the MLB? No. Yes, we all would be. I'd argue some of us could get to the Hall of Fame. Yeah, I think so. I bet us could get to the Hall of Fame. Yeah, I think so. I
Starting point is 00:40:25 bet you could get to the Hall of Fame. I don't know, but it was like it was just becoming a sport. The other thing too is there's so many inconveniences, like the uniform would be so itchy. That sucks, it's a very thick wool. So there's all these little things. Devilish Dean Jones stole 14 bases in one game Like you would you would You'd probably the best pitcher. You'd be the fastest Would you be an alcoholic I guess I don't know. I gotta look more into it because I don't know. I just know the Wikipedia story
Starting point is 00:41:01 I would love a VR old-timey baseball simulator just to see how you do The thing I worry about from back then is that you had to drink his life was so miserable But dude and you were always in pain and I think it was like a medicine as well But think about back then all of the remedy like how painful and awful hangovers are even for us now with uber eats With pedialyte. Yeah with all these amenities with painkinkillers they imagine getting a hangover in the Civil War Good God yeah, you're waking up on a wet ground In your your wet or gangrene you have a crippling hangover on top of that That's it you get stabbed by a bayonet mm-hmm you sleeping that like you that's an insult right there
Starting point is 00:41:41 You're so close to the gun just pull the trigger don't stab me You're not gonna miss man Shoot I would be so fucking mad Also like who's good this guy's walking at you with a gun move Yeah, they would in every like move Yeah, they would in every like Reimagination like the guy would just walk in a straight line toward you and you're like, oh here's pull the trigger, please Please pull the trigger dude run away
Starting point is 00:42:18 Well, dude if I had a bayonet though and like the Civil War and I like I was I saw the drummer boy I'm making him a fucking pincushion. Oh my My god, that would be fun Just all the boys just stabbing the drummer boy right for the drummer boy get that I'm getting my pad my stats yeah with the drummer boy and the flag the flag carrier Do you get who's getting killed by bayonets? Because you're also, there's no camouflage, you're either wearing bright red or bright blue.
Starting point is 00:42:53 Look at that! You're 5'4", 120, you have 10 diseases and you're like, alright, let me just get the drummer boy out of the way. And you guys get in an all out brawl and you can't even like take him down. Getting killed by the drummer boy out of the way and you guys get in an all-out brawl and you can't even like take him down Getting killed by the drummer boy man. You'd be getting just getting in a scrap with the like ten rounds with a drummer boy And the other like they're just ignoring you The Civil War drummer boy, what was like the mortality rate on drummer boys were they picked off? You think that they'd be protected like the in the Geneva Convention with parish there was no dude But I don't think that these guys were walking straight for each other history so sick. I think we boys were officially very 30
Starting point is 00:43:41 For sure. I know it's all coming. It took me until 32 to be very 30 very much Yeah, once I bought a world war two map by map by the Smithsonian tough I knew that it was curtains for me, and I was excited drummer boys died in civil war Let's see here And it's also weird to think too, like nowadays, like the notion of if we went to war, like a real war, I think the majority of people would be like, well, no, I'm good. Back then it was like some guy you've never heard of stole someone's daughter and like, no, we're going on a full scale war and you're probably going to die.
Starting point is 00:44:24 You have to walk 14,000 miles and it's going to be the end of your life. And everyone's like, all like, no, we're going on a full scale war and you're probably gonna die. You have to walk 14,000 miles and it's gonna be the end of your blind. And everyone's like, all right, fuck, I guess. I guess I'm just gonna do it. Yeah, you just have to go do it. All right, you guys saw shit. I would just be sitting there, but like, do we need to do this?
Starting point is 00:44:33 Like, fuck this. They were, everyone was just down. They were so down. It's what you had to do. Yeah, and they gave you your bright red or bright blue Hopefully the enemy doesn't see ya Unless you marched sing you marched shoulder to shoulder Why didn't anybody think of hiding were any dudes hiding back then
Starting point is 00:45:02 Yeah, and then you would they would get if you were a like a pussy they would Being a pussy was way worse than dying right that was it or they just say that I don't know if that's the case Because I think that for sure I just it's almost human nature wait those drummer boys are like Click on youngest wounded, please far right. That's not even a boy. That's a toddler. That is such a young boy I thought they were like off to war boy with graders Give him a gun, dude. They should give like old ass dudes the drums. Yeah, why was that a thing? Also, yeah, it was 12.
Starting point is 00:45:37 Job is insane. We have to have. Yeah, he got shot. And you shoot and nobody dies instantly when they're shot back then. He died three days later. Right, because it would punch your skin, but like it wouldn't. God, that poor boy. He looks like a badass.
Starting point is 00:45:55 Also, but even if you got shot back then, you're like, are you serious? Because no one could hit anything. Right. You fucking kidding me? I could see a full one of those engagements where sometimes they just have people staring at each other And everyone shoots and everyone it's just air balls Yeah No one got hit
Starting point is 00:46:13 How are the casualties Nothing on Do you think like the opposing side when somebody took down the drummer boy like they kind of like chuckled in the line The drums just stop Here's here like a boy ouch The drums stop they had a bunch of other ones they had a fiddler they had a fiddler they used to have the Flutes didn't they the flute boy the flute boy flute boy a flute boy. I'm pretty sure oh man I'd love to go back give him a one bite challenge chip
Starting point is 00:46:48 Do you think you could win a couple battles with the one of those chips leave in the middle of the field One guy would just see the foil and have a fucking conniption and die No, we'd go back in time time and they would just literally rape us They would just own like they were so tough We're present-day pussies they were sees back then we're just like I'm so lucky I only had to pull out three of my own teeth. Yeah. Yeah, they would slap us their tolerance for how long they would just If I stepped in a portal and I got transported back to a random town in the Civil War How long till I get raped?
Starting point is 00:47:32 Rape so fat I think my ankles would still be in the present-day portal before I had before I had a union dick in my ass They were I I had a union dick in my ass if it were nighttime dude, oh they were Yeah, I don't know why we're like a drummer. They were so much tougher than them No, and we're probably not smarter. There's just more shit I Should get off my high horse because I just more shit and easy access if I was like yeah, god damn it Rest in peace to the drummer boy Sweet little boy
Starting point is 00:48:12 The headphones hurting your head we've been podcasting hard yeah, you're you're sweet. That's the thing You're like we're making fun of the sivors, and you just needed a break from podcasting Be fucked from podcasting and you're like, I need a water. We'd be fucked. I gotta go to the bathroom. Really? Yeah. All right, we'll be right back. Kyle, you got a mobile X? Or is she staying in one spot?
Starting point is 00:48:38 I killed her. I paralyzed her. Yeah, you paralyzed her. No, I'm not talking about that, I'm talking about mobile X, the new app-based mobile phone service where you pay only for the data, talk, and text you use unlike traditional unlimited plans with the other guys
Starting point is 00:48:54 where you pay for the data wherever you use it or not. Mobile X helps you spend less because you only pay for what you use, which means you save up to 90% of your current mobile phone service. That's why switching to mobile X, we will see you get unfucked. We're gonna watch you get unfucked. All while using one of the largest 5G networks in America. There's no catch, it's honestly very hard to believe, but there is no catch. You could be saving up to 90% of your phone bill when you switch to mobile X.
Starting point is 00:49:24 You're paying for unlimited data with those other Guys you're probably paying one for 30 140. Yeah, it's a no-brainer pay for what you use. That's only fair Mm-hmm. It's their time. Yeah, they've been waiting. Yeah my mobile X comm Or you can download the mobile X app on the app store or Google Play check it out. It's well worth it All right Kyle's back from illness Yeah, I just needed to go to the toilet My apologies you're such a place you're such a boy guy So I was looking at this day in history, what do we got November 26 led me to
Starting point is 00:50:01 Charles Dickens the day tale two cities came out November 26 led me to Charles Dickens, the day A Tale of Two Cities came out. But then that led me down to one of his early influences was Joseph Grimaldi, son of Giuseppe, who is apparently credited as being the first clown. Giuseppe or Joseph? Joseph was the first clown. Why does Grimaldi sound familiar?
Starting point is 00:50:20 Because he was the first clown. No, that's not why I would fucking know it really. He invented clowning. He invented clowning. He invented clowning. Well, shit in London. That's a hard thing to just be like, this is a thing now. Yes. And they never really.
Starting point is 00:50:32 Hey, guys, I'm a clown. Look at that. Imagine that walking in. It's like, hey, guys, I have an idea. Yeah, he walks in and goes, this is a. This is a. This is a this is a So what's what are you I'm a clown what is that?
Starting point is 00:50:53 Big shoes tiny car. What's a car? One day we'll have tiny car Dude that's haunting yes, it is But his dad Giuseppe first of all loved loved fucking, was a theater actor his whole life. Oh yeah, a theater actor that loves fucking. Groomed Joseph, and at the age of two, they were performing together. But he had 10 children with at least three different women.
Starting point is 00:51:17 They can't even keep track of his kids. But one of their acts was- This is a father-son act? Father-son act. What time frame are we talking? We're talking... There's gotta be 16... Dickens can be from any era.
Starting point is 00:51:27 1780s. Okay. 1780s. So the son, Joseph, would pretend to be a monkey and his dad would put a chain around his waist. Oh God. And so he would then pick up his son with the chain and swing him around his head.
Starting point is 00:51:44 And this is what it says, with the utmost velocity. Oh my god. It says that in the article? The utmost velocity. His son, he would swing him with the utmost velocity. Giuseppe swung his young son around his head with the utmost velocity when the chain snapped, causing young Grimaldi to fly into the orchestra pit. Oh my god.
Starting point is 00:52:05 Oh this was during a performance? Yes. Yes. And he was meant to be a monkey. And then his dad was weirdly obsessed with death so he would pretend to die in front of his children as a way to gauge their reactions. I would, I get that. I get that.
Starting point is 00:52:22 It's like, people do it with their dogs. Like how would my dog test it out? Oh, look, there's a there's him. There is the reenactment of the boy flying into the crowd. And that is from Memoirs of Grimaldi, which was by Dickens. So Dickens fucked with this dude super heavy. And yeah, he's a horrifying, horrifying. Horrifying thing to invent.
Starting point is 00:52:43 It's just the concept of a clown? Yes. I haven't even thought about the 1700s. I know the 1800s are wacky. And his dad died, you talk about weird deaths, he died, there was just too much fluid. He died of too much fluid? Drats.
Starting point is 00:52:59 Another victim. Just too much fluid. Dude, that shit was probably one of the biggest killers back then is fluid I don't even know it did he drown back to my where was the fluid in his body? They just said you're doing the body up of fluid and then I would love to see leading causes of death by century Because like smallpox 1700 I guess that makes sense. It's gonna. It's there's not gonna be anything funny Consumption there's definitely an era early on where people didn't know what gravity wasn't just were walking off cliffs dudes were getting consumption in the 1800s, and they were just truck like
Starting point is 00:53:37 Going somewhere warm and dry was like the cure all they had right so it's a bunch of dying dudes going down to Mexico Is that what it was yeah? Or if you had leprosy like you school live on this island there was that leprosy island which I bet you got pretty wild Oh, yeah There was a report that would be like a funny sitcom leprosy island like it's about back then you're just trying to live your life The girl that did around the world in 80 days Nellie Bly life. The girl that did Around the World in 80 Days, Nellie Bly, she was a reporter and one of her assignments was going undercover at that.
Starting point is 00:54:10 They had like a women's section of the Leprosy Island. Yes. So she went there undercover and pretended to be insane. They put like the psychos and the lepers together and she went there to uncover how bad it was. It's kind of a sick assignment. We the Around the World in 80 Days thing. I read into that as well. I thought it was. It's kind of a sick assignment. We the around the world in 80 days thing. I read into that as well. I thought it was going to be.
Starting point is 00:54:28 Is that a lie? An epic tale. And then I read about it. She just was like, oh, yeah, she took a train and a boat. Oh, really? That's it. She just commuted. It wasn't anything that dramatic. Boring. Yeah, not even dangerous. That seems fast. I don't think I could.
Starting point is 00:54:41 You can't. Can you do that? It seems too fast. It was forever. How long does it take to drive across the US? three days Okay, I guess 80 is pretty Are there still leper colonies the Malakai Malakai leper colony right there, I mean that's a cool name Interesting mm-hmm, but this dude Grimaldi, his brother, John
Starting point is 00:55:06 Baptiste, illegally signed on as a cabin boy aboard the frigate in 1788 when he was nine using a false identity. The false identity doesn't cover up the fact that he's a fucking nine year old. That. Yeah. They're like, oh, OK, well, I guess it says you're a full grown adult.
Starting point is 00:55:19 I guess you're on. Get away with really anything. I have a piece of paper here that says I'm a fool. If you could write, you could be anything you wanted. Oh my god, yes. Just insane. I'm circling back to where we'd do just fine back then. Now I'm thinking of what.
Starting point is 00:55:33 I think if you're literate, I could write that I'm a doctor on a piece of paper and start assigning dudes. Like I could just be sawing off. Like I'd be rich and doctors didn't have to work back then like they're they're they're what they gave didn't have to work Oh, not at all. They're like, oh your head hurts. I could probably try screwing bolts into it. That's it. They relieve the pressure Just writing down don't rape me. Yeah Oh, yes the papers I guess we can't
Starting point is 00:56:03 Yeah, I could like write that be like you can't my assholes for shitting only and I could sign it Abraham Lincoln I'd be like all that's let him go let him through Yeah, I'm Lincoln Abraham Lincoln said you can't fuck my ass And you know you know what you know he won't fib. Well shit. Okay. On to the next one, boys.
Starting point is 00:56:34 Yeah, you could just like look like the first person who forged. Oh my God. Yeah. You could have anything. You could have a deed to Louisiana. Oh, hello, ma'am. It actually says on this piece of paper that I'm the governor. You could have anything you could have a deed to Louisiana. Oh, hello, ma'am. It actually says on this piece of paper that I'm the governor. I get to titty. Fuck you.
Starting point is 00:56:48 So you should. Titty fucking didn't happen until I think 77. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Brrrr. Head was earlier. Do you think there's any cave paintings of head? What was the first artistic representation of head? Probably the Egyptians. They were getting dumb. Freaky. No, they weren't. They were. Do they had crazy like hieroglyphs? Romans for they were getting dumb freaky no they weren't they were do they had crazy like
Starting point is 00:57:06 Romans for sure were getting head right yeah, but the Egyptians were getting stupid freaky, but like when's the first oh Interesting this is so interesting Egypt Good call yeah, I remember reading about how the Egyptians were really down with orgies Which you got to imagine that shit smelled crazy. Oh, yeah, 79 ad 79 ad yeah, that's too late. Yeah So none of the Apostles got sucked up
Starting point is 00:57:42 So none of the Apostles got sucked up He's playing it so cool Crossing your arms All that is that is cocky I've never go back up to that can we show that on YouTube Funny he's cross He's like he's like trying to leave. He doesn't even want it. Like fine. Adequate I suppose. Also just no one, I'm sure everyone's, a ton of people talk about this, but just like the average dicks were totally cool back then there. Yeah, I mean small dicks were royalty back then Big dicks were barbaric
Starting point is 00:58:29 Disgusting is that an Indian dude? It's the Kama Sutra. Oh, yeah, dude an Indian guy flake having a red smear like right above his dick I swear Nothing happened, babe. It's a herpes It's a herby. It's a herby. It's a herby. No. Oh, that's no way dudes were eating pussy. Women know the 1900s. No way. No.
Starting point is 00:58:59 Felicia was a taboo. Yeah. Nineteth century. Prick eating, minneting and eating seafood, sneezing in the cabbage. They call it eating pussy, sneezing in the cabbage. I had quite the weekend. You can say I was sneezing sneezed in her cabbage That's wild Man we gotta get back to that see no just like I don't know like I just need just the this the
Starting point is 00:59:45 Wait, I love that guy's face. Look at this the history of fellatio and that guy you know that they they don't need to uncrop that image I know what's going on that that is a man that's his first time he's just grinding his teeth I want to see the full image of that wait what's it talking about baseball in the history of fellatio of course rooted in the great American sport of baseball, the sexual metaphors of the generation put fellatio somewhere after home base. What? Who cares? Oh my god. Monkey Boy's delayed. Yeah, Just bare with us Bare with us, it's not It's just completely out of our hands
Starting point is 01:00:30 We had a long long call with Legal, there's legal hang ups I don't really want to say Anything too much or too wrong So I'll leave it at that And I'm really sorry We honestly Keep thinking it's ready. It's just not
Starting point is 01:00:47 It's just not ready. Yeah. Yeah, well. It's ready. It's made but There's hang ups. Yeah, um Rudy you're going to Turkey soon next week any fear I Have a fear of one of you will get botched Mm-hmm like if they misplaced Dave's scalp somebody slips on it like a banana peel gets taken by a bird dude a crow flies hey can you open the window they're like I wish I'm really hot and then a crow flies and it takes Dave's scalp
Starting point is 01:01:29 Yeah, yeah laugh it up. It's just nice. It's my exposed skull That's a fear yes someone misplacing my scalp. Worried about, worried about the just looking stupid for a while. I'm gonna have a shaved head. Yeah, that will look stupid a little bit. How like shaved like bicked or shaved zero. A buzz cut like mook mode. Fine. That's cool.
Starting point is 01:02:01 What do you mean stupid? No, I'm talking about my head. You have a good skull shave. You have a good skull. I don't know what's going on fine Worried about the flight. I'm flying from Denver to here and then that night flying to Turkey oof so direct Yeah, direct from Turkey, Chicago to Istanbul This is the day after Thanksgiving day after Thanksgiving is your family like yeah?
Starting point is 01:02:22 Yeah, I told my mom. I haven't even told my dad about it my dad's gonna make fun of me is your dad bald my dad's bald Yeah, he's like a cool disgusting bald guy though. Yeah, I mean it's like Yeah, I don't really need to do it, but it's free and I want to see Istanbul and I'm pretty vain so fuck it Yeah, it's an amazing country. Yeah, everybody's vain. They just don't admit it. I can bring Lucy, right? I'm also very worried about that. You can fly with Lucy. Yeah. Okay, so, okay, yeah, so that was a worry.
Starting point is 01:02:52 Check that off the list. The upkeep when you guys get back, like, Nicky Smokes is getting one. I could see him, like, immediately getting it and then posting himself, like, cannonballing into a jacuzzi, destroying it with chlorine. I can see Dave Putting rubbing alcohol in it to like kill the bacteria. Yeah. Yeah, make it heal up faster
Starting point is 01:03:12 Yeah, the things are gonna go wrong. Can we look up a? Hair transplant maintenance because it's pretty you're probably gonna spend like an hour a day oiling Picking off. Oh, I hate the look of those fresh hair transplants Thank you. It looks like the frog eggs in the back of a female toad have you seen that? It's my least favorite image online haven't caught that I have not caught that Frogs keep their young and like holes in their back. Yeah, my least favorite image pull it up mook It's like a frog mop frog mom with young in its back. Oh, I don't like holes aplenty
Starting point is 01:03:47 Well, you're not able to look at Rudy's patterns of holes Well, thanks Nick, that's what your scalps gonna look like But I'm gonna look awesome you're gonna look better. Yeah, we look all that's good I'm gonna do different cool hairstyles that I couldn't do before. Yeah. Like what? You could do anything, any hairstyle. Yeah, but it's just gonna be a better version of it.
Starting point is 01:04:13 Sure. Are you going lower hairline too? I'm getting a little bit, like yeah. Oh, you are doing the hairline. Yeah, because it's like a little bit here and I asked them, I was like, do you think I should do a little bit there? It looks pretty fine. But I was a little worried because what they say say about Turkish they go to straight they they do a Ridiculously straight hairline. Yeah, but when I talked to the guy said you have beautiful widows peak
Starting point is 01:04:32 Oh, so they're gonna preserve the widow's peak, which is a sign of royalty. I've heard no kidding And so I think they're gonna make it, you know Natural looking. Yeah, it's a fake tits of the man fake tits. So I'm going for a natural down There are the tits of men yeah, you know, but I'm excited to see the city Yeah, it's a nice. No, what day is your operation? And are you put under going in squadrons? We have two days We guys are squad well. It's it's the five of us, and then we have ten bar stool fan dude. I hope it is Well, it's it's the five of us and then we have ten barstool fans dude. I hope it is gonna be
Starting point is 01:05:08 Ridiculous crew. I hope Dave gets black hair somehow Jet black no, I meant like a black man's hair Just like a Tony Hawk created character something Something went wrong and you have cornrows. Yeah, whatever. Something, statistically, like there's something that has to go awry. Has to. Has to.
Starting point is 01:05:32 There's too many of you guys going. 10 fans? 10 fans. It is gonna be a freak show. It is such a weird crew of people. I'm worried about the crew and their ability to handle... Traveling internationally has always said to me, like, the one thing you can tell if you trust someone
Starting point is 01:05:50 or go with people you like. And we are going with five of my coworkers who I've never been on, like, an international trip with, a few of them of which you would say are, like, remarkably annoying at times. Loose cannon wild card morons. Right, and then you add in ten Barstool fans who we've never 10 fans is insane.
Starting point is 01:06:08 To be like, what is this? Are they are they paying for their own hair? They're doing it. Yes. So basically, so they're just coming. Wanton said we're doing this. This is the clinic. If you can pay away, you're welcome to come. And 10 people were doing that.
Starting point is 01:06:21 And he initially was going to vet it and have like three or four people. And then he's like I just didn't care so now there's ten So he doesn't know any he says I know their name and I know their phone number That's a ten ten people that are willing to travel the day after Thanksgiving, right? That's a that's gonna be a unique crop of the Cleveland spiders going to the Picture you guys are all gonna be in single file line everywhere you go. Yeah, in order in sequence.
Starting point is 01:06:48 In order of baldness. You're going to run that. But Donnie's doesn't get it. Donnie's not even getting the surgery, right? It's fantastic hair. Yeah, this is borderline fetish for Donnie. Yes, it really is. He's like, not me.
Starting point is 01:07:02 But yeah, these idiots go for it. So I don't know which day I'm doing it. I think I'm doing second squadron. Oh, I wouldn't. I'd want to be first. I wanted to, but we have to record like pitch picks and then anus and stuff. So it made more sense for me to go in the second career. So then you're going to be how long do you have in Turkey to walk around? We have, I think, three days after that.
Starting point is 01:07:21 Are you going to be like kind of woozy? I think the day after immediately after you. Are you gonna be like kind of woozy? The day after, immediately after you're apparently you're pretty like just like in pain and a little out of it. But then the day after you're totally fine. But you shouldn't drink or like smoke hookah, which kind of takes away the fun. Shouldn't smoke hookah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:37 Yeah, the thing is, you guys are all going to fuck this up. You should leave as soon as you get it done. You shouldn't smoke hookah. That's the one thing they say, dude. Which is a bummer. Dude, I'm in Turkey. I had to smoke. I wanted to. So but I think we're going to go to Hagia Sophia. Is that what it's called? Yeah. Yeah. It's very cool. I'm excited to see you know Istanbul Constantinople Isantine Empire Mehmet the conqueror the Eastern Roman Empire. Yeah, so we might drive to Asia. Oh
Starting point is 01:08:13 Yeah, across the bridge. Yeah, it's great right there. Yeah, so I can I assume Turkey was Asia It's technically apparently people say it straddles your Europe Asia. Well, that's Istanbul. Yeah. Yeah. So apparently Turkish people don't claim Europe or Asia. They just say Turkish. They're just. Oh. Yeah, I kind of haven't really. I'm kind of just going and just seeing what. Yeah, but that's see that works for like a weekend in town here in Chicago. Just go into Turkey for a surgery where you're put under.
Starting point is 01:08:49 We're not put under. I was wrong about that when I talked about the act. We do not go under. It's local anesthesia. So they like you're the dentist and they just numb you up and you sit there. And they're plucking from back here and moving up here. They're just take, it's actually insane.
Starting point is 01:09:00 They take individual hairs. Does it grow back from there or is it forever gone back there? No, they apparently what the way it works is that if you're like super bald They have to be careful about not taking too much of the crop or the good area and apparently from what I heard Ken Jack They said we're gonna need Oh Ken Jack's going all of it So he is Wow. I think the max you can do in one day is like 5,000 graphs like no we're gonna they're there Are they betting the rules?
Starting point is 01:09:27 They're a 99 yard drive. Oh boy. Yeah, for him. So that'll be a shift. Hopefully for me it's just red zone. Dude. Yeah, I think yours is, how many are they gonna do?
Starting point is 01:09:39 Like what? 100? I don't know, it's gotta be, I don't know, we'll see. I'm curious to see when I shave my head what it really looks like under the hood. What if it doesn't look bad? A hundred. I don't know. It's got to be one. I don't know. We'll see. I'm curious to see when I shave my head what it really looks like under the hood. What if it doesn't look bad? But what if it does?
Starting point is 01:09:51 And I'm glad I'm there. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, that'd be cool. Yeah, it'd be interesting. I'm, I'm, I'm worried. The thing I'm worried about is what I'm also most excited about. Just seeing White Sox Dave in Istanbul mixed with Nikki Smokes. Like once someone's going to get actually lost.
Starting point is 01:10:04 I want, I want Dave to get back and grow his hair out so long Super Fabio Lang air he looks like always like going like this looks like Robert Dave with like a real high tight ponytail Ariana Grande like that's ponytail Dave down to his fucking ankles This week I'm doing pigtails. Yeah, that's it. Just like. I paid for it. Why would I cut it? Just like I traveled across the ocean.
Starting point is 01:10:33 I'm not going to cut it. My hope is that someone has to retreat to the embassy and there's an international incident. Yeah, there will be something like one of you guys will try to buy a drug. Won't say who. What's the prostitution rule there? I don't know I think you can't watch porn there. Oh is it? What's the religion? Muslim it's a Muslim country. Yeah, I'm sure they have other but I'm pretty sure it's prostitution is legal
Starting point is 01:10:59 So prostitution is legal but porn Wow Damn, I don't know if I can do that. Well, I'm not telling you to do it. I was scared. I was forcing your hand, do you? Oh, OK. Well, it's just like one in Rome. I don't know. One of these damn. Like the opposite.
Starting point is 01:11:15 Yeah, but I don't want to do that. But maybe. Oh, but there are rules. It must be a woman, a Turkish citizen, and they must be unmarried Yeah, I got a Turkish boy. He's pretty like strict well groomed type of guy. Yeah, like no no fuck around Yeah, they're serious people yeah Yeah, they do like the ice cream tricks and like they have is that what they're doing little misshapen dwarves like running around punching kids One of those boys in Narnia got addicted to Turkish delights
Starting point is 01:11:45 He abandoned his fucking family for Turkish delight. What is Turkish delights? I don't know It's the boy in Narnia the witch the ice queen bitch gave him a bunch of Turkish delights And he couldn't say no he ratted out his whole family his siblings and all they were beefing prior to that though They looked yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah, the Turkish are fucking They're they're villains with the ice cream scoops They're quick with it. I need to experience that yeah, I need to do some more research on I haven't had time I need to like look at the counterpoint. Yeah, you have plenty
Starting point is 01:12:14 Huh, you've had plenty of time Couldn't find it Couldn't find the time So let me know guys like I keep on circling back to white socks Dave like I want I just want to watch him experience Everything I'm getting so mad of a guy fucking with his ice cream. Oh, he's got now that's gonna be a fistfight. Oh for sure Bandaged head he has potential to be my best friend Dave oh you went to a concert went to a concert with a lot of fun I've had blasts dude. He's the best. Yeah, I cannot with that guy. No. Yeah, dude
Starting point is 01:12:50 he I was streaming we were playing zombies with him me and maresh and Yeah Did the stream just cut out like his no so the running thing is that white Sox Dave's computer just lags out of the game every time and he loses his mind and he just can't figure it out and he turns off all of his electronics. He's like, the only thing into the router is my computer. I'm ready to go.
Starting point is 01:13:11 And every time he lags out. So sure enough, he lags out and we're like, oh, there he goes. And then he comes back and we assume he just lagged out. And he goes, good news, bad news. And we're like, what? And he goes, good news is I didn't lag out. Bad news is that my Roomba hit the router.
Starting point is 01:13:29 He's the most Roomba guy. He just cannot, I couldn't believe it. He's just sitting in a room and the Roomba hit his land cable and disconnected it. It was unbelievable. He yells at that Roomba hit his land cable and disconnected it. It was unbelievable man. He yells at that Roomba too. Yes, oh my god it was incredible. It was incredible. Can't quit that guy.
Starting point is 01:13:54 No. Alright. Happy Thanksgiving everybody. Merch. New Plattson merch. The Moot Can't Sleep merch is fucking sick. Kyle's wearing that. Moot's wearing that.
Starting point is 01:14:07 Great fit. Support that. Nothing wrong with buying two long sleeves. One's a whole, one's a crew. Yeah, that would mean a lot. Yeah. The New Platzen, some of the favorite, the anus is put out.
Starting point is 01:14:24 It's fire. Yeah, yeah. Means a lot if you guys would buy it people are reaching out that means the world Yeah, you don't have you if you can't afford don't buy it or DM one of us actually buy for you Yeah, yeah, do that and then while we're on break Pokemon crystal part two. Oh, yeah, that's the hardest the hardest I've ever laughed on a game stream because Rudy. I'm going to use my one our word. Yeah, use it beyond retarded. He shocked himself.
Starting point is 01:14:54 I went not even gum mode. I was like he forgot that water was super effective against fire, which is just that somebody in the chat was just like for Rudy thinking paper beats scissors Like it is it wasn't even like it was I got to a point where I just is like I just can't get myself to like retain this and care and it just and we were off the Henny fire And I'm not good against water. Yeah. No, I get it I just I just I went into a mode where I was just like I it was bad
Starting point is 01:15:22 But that will come out for Thanksgiving and then we'll get back into it after that. But yeah, I go, it's bad. It was shameful, shameful stuff. Also today we put out the new Platts in Geography class. Yeah. I mean, there's a lot more to it. Yeah, it was just a fun little exercise exercise and hoping to do some more stuff like that
Starting point is 01:15:46 It was more for a Black Friday promotional thing, but it was fun to do and mmm whenever we get an idea I wouldn't mind doing more of that mm-hmm cool All right, all right. God bless you

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