A New Untold Story - Basketball Shoes - A New Untold Story: Ep. 371

Episode Date: November 22, 2023

Basketball Shoes starring Asahd Tuck Khaled & Keke Palmer with Ronda Rousey & Pat McAfee. **please support the team and checkout store.barstoolsports.com on black friday and cyber monday. god bless ...and happy thanksgiving** Ads: Manscaped - Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code ANUS at https://www.manscaped.com/. Get your Jingle balls ready for the Holidays. Rent.App - Head to https://Rent.app/barstool for $50 off your first rent payment and download Rent app in the App store todayYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, a new untold story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcast, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad free on Amazon music. All right, we good. Outdoor boys can make a better table. That's effort free. Hold on. Need another clap. Yeah, there we go.
Starting point is 00:00:14 New untold story episode 288. 71. 371. That's your reply to what I'm going to say. No, you're just going to say. No, that's a new untold story. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I
Starting point is 00:00:26 I I I I I I I I
Starting point is 00:00:26 I I I I I I I I
Starting point is 00:00:39 I I I I I I I I
Starting point is 00:00:39 I I I I I I I I
Starting point is 00:00:43 I I I I I I I I
Starting point is 00:00:44 I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I it's a fresh big untold story okay listen to what i say here and really take it in and break it down. Of all the things in life, one of the best has to be getting
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Starting point is 00:03:39 That was close. 288? Yeah. 288? I said 288. Oh, yeah, that's funny. Did I say 388? Yeah. 288? I said 288. Oh, yeah. That's funny. Did I say 388?
Starting point is 00:03:47 Doesn't fucking matter at all. 271. Monday. Thanksgiving week. Short week. We're trying to stockpile, you know, episodes put out. Yeah. You're going to Florida for Thanksgiving.
Starting point is 00:03:58 Yeah. Naples. The Naples of America. Naples is? I think so. I don't know. I think it's Canali, which would be Venice. Right.
Starting point is 00:04:08 Yeah. So scratch that. I've never heard canal used as an adjective. Yeah, I just did it. Canal. Nice. I just got back from, where was I? Knoxville.
Starting point is 00:04:21 I was at the University of Tennessee. How'd you like it? I think it's going to be my new alma mater. You're going to go to school? No, I'm just going to say I went. What's stopping you from just printing it? I might just start bringing in diplomas.
Starting point is 00:04:36 I know dudes who just did that. Just said they went somewhere? They acquired a cap and gown. They just had to convince their parents and that was it. Do you actually? Yes, I i know i think two men i know one man who you do faked diploma and he just yeah and i guess it's like what else do you need to prove transcripts if you're going for a job but if you just yeah i guess should we all get diplomas? Yeah. No, I am now an alumnus of Tennessee. Great little town.
Starting point is 00:05:09 I had one strange experience, but other than that, it was good. What was the strange experience? Saw a dude that was a yak guy, looked just like me. Of course. And I was like, yo, what's going on, me? And he's like, what? And I was like, you look just like me. And he's like what i was like you look just like me and he's like i was like yeah you look exactly like you cold approached him no no he came up to me and he was like yo nick i was like what's going on me and then uh he was like what and i was like we look exactly alike yeah and he goes yeah i'm sorry about that. I'm like, what?
Starting point is 00:05:50 And then I didn't know what to say for somebody apologizing to me for looking like me. And I was like, what? And he goes, never mind. And I was like, all right, well, nice meeting you. And we just walked to the same direction for about 10 minutes. The same time? Yeah. Yep.
Starting point is 00:06:03 That was awesome. I'm sorry about that. Yeah. And then I was way too out of pocket and you were out of pocket i was way too out of pocket on this man on the street video oh that that's what it was it's gonna be like drunken men on the street interviewing drunken kids i was out of pocket what do you mean i was being out of pocket i decided you know what fuck it i'm gonna be out of pocket give me one example uh so i did research on the university and i was like okay that's not out of pocket research well i guess you can't do out of pocket research um but the questions i asked were out of pocket so like i don't know i've always just wanted to be out of pocket um i had kids doing the pat summit challenge the female coach yes who acquired a lot of wins died of all time oh so i was just like all right speed round pat summit challenge i just asked the
Starting point is 00:06:54 same question over and over i don't even know if they're not going to use that but then i found out pat summit's son i heard about this yeah he was a coach of Louisiana Tech or something and fucked his players. You'd have to imagine all male women's basketball. He fucked his female players. Yeah, I think he impregnated. He was married and he impregnated one of his players. What's like the morality? What's the ethics of that?
Starting point is 00:07:20 I don't think you fuck. I don't think you should do that. Yeah, never. What's the morality? If you, you know, they're of age. I guess he's a son, so he's probably young. I mean, old enough to coach a basketball team. You can't be fucking, if you're a coach, you just can't.
Starting point is 00:07:41 Honestly, though, a boy coach is a funny, a boy women's basketball coach yeah like 12 dude yeah if if little bow wow found pat summits jacket if he if he found her like flat shoes that's like a moral paradox who's in the wrong what young boy coach fucking is adult i'm pretty sure it'd be the adult fucking the child would be in the wrong kyle yeah but the coach is uh you know there's a position of power stigma does it cancel out and people just accept the relationship i want that to be a movie um yeah like not a happy ending though yeah that's a real maybe we could put out that tweet like like a six if it's a 16 year old coaching prop, 16, a 16 year old coaching prodigy, coaching prodigy
Starting point is 00:08:30 graduated early is fucking one of his collegiate players. Yeah. Had a bad injury. So we had to stop playing. Yeah. Like a seven. No, no, no. I think he's like a dorky guy.
Starting point is 00:08:39 He's never played sports like a young man. Spit on you. No, no, no. I just have like a somewhat throw your game. Yeah. He's like a little dorky 16 year old coaching prodigy but like he just gets the game of women's basketball yeah and falls in love with yeah with the coach no he's the coach he's the player and the player is like a sophomore and like who redshirt sophomore okay
Starting point is 00:09:01 yeah who's in the wrong. And it's very obviously the one molesting. I don't want, we're joking. Well, I'm not, I grew up in a, in an environment,
Starting point is 00:09:14 in a culture where the coach, the power of a coach is so, so high. Becoming a coach on the court adds 10 years. You're so vulnerable toward your coach. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. And the coach tells you what to do. You become accustomed to that. Yeah. This little boy might be a scumbag.
Starting point is 00:09:34 No, I'm saying, yeah, the boy's a scumbag. Yeah. Yeah. He's the one that took advantage. You took advantage of his players. He would do anything for the sake of the movie. Then the boy should be like 11. Well, yeah, the boys are 11 year old. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:50 Well, it depends if the boy is fucking a starter or a bench player bench. But like the center taking advantage. Yeah, for sure. Definitely. The starter. That's just a power couple. Yeah. We only be doing that.
Starting point is 00:10:02 I know, but it's kind of a lot. Yeah, that's a lot. It's kind of fun. Damn. Yeah, we should cast that that. I know, but it's kind of a lot. Yeah, that's a lot. It's kind of fun. Damn. Yeah. We should cast that movie. I was speaking to that. I heard a term last night that I'd never heard before that apparently like people say is
Starting point is 00:10:13 Chomo child molester. Never heard that. Oh, that rolls off the tongue. Yeah. But it almost sounds like a cool Hispanic guy. That's what I thought. Yeah. Like, I'm pretty sure I had like, you know, those homies that you bought for you bought for 75 cents loved them i'm pretty sure like one of the characters could have just been
Starting point is 00:10:28 named chomo is a cool name yeah it's a shame man a lot of names for diseases are kind of pretty too i had a weird man on the street incident too what you have so me and tommy were doing man on the street you guys both just took a college trip we did yeah me and rudy yeah yeah yeah you did too you kind of flew under the radar on that well no but yours was called like yours was the one last shot the one last shot it kind of sounds like the name of the movie we're pitching yeah you're right you're right except i'm 30 yeah um but we were doing man on the street we were not being out of pocket and randomly randomly, we were interviewing these two girls. They were pretty drunk, and they were just saying wild shit.
Starting point is 00:11:11 And then this guy walks by. What was the last shot? I'm sorry. The last shot of what? Of you and Tommy to get pussy in college? Literally. Is that really what the pitch was? That wasn't the pitch, but it was implied.
Starting point is 00:11:23 Let's call it last shot. Yeah. Or is that the last round of, like, antibiotics you're going to have to do? Yeah. Yeah. really what the pitch was that wasn't the pitch but it was implied let's call it last shot yeah or is that the last round of like antibiotics you're gonna be have to yeah yeah yeah one yeah one last shot like our last chance of getting like natural boners yeah but um this guy comes up and he goes by the way did you know she is the girl that took the urban meyer video at ohio state oh no way we were like what that's. I was told it was a dude. Apparently not. And I, yeah, someone identified him as a girl. Yeah. And she said, yeah, it was me. And she told us the whole story about how she took the video of urban Meyer. She like lived
Starting point is 00:11:55 above the steakhouse. She sounded like she was like Jason Bourne. Like she's like, like staking out the steakhouse, but it was so bizarre. told the whole story and uh that was really weird but it was good content she knew what she was doing yeah she like she said it in a way where she didn't like she just saw something it was like i have to take a video of this but she sort of felt bad so don't i mean if anybody it she wasn't filming him i'd imagine because it was urban meyer he was he was finger blasting in a bar i'd film anybody finger blast was he he was finger blasting he wasn't finger blasting he was like scratching her ass he's scratching her asshole yeah which is a hilarious maneuver like you if you see someone scratching someone's ass yeah he's pleasuring her i don't know that feels so good
Starting point is 00:12:39 well yeah we know you like that you love wait what do you like scratching the ass the scratch of the ass but i wouldn't want anybody else to scratch my ass. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. I've never had someone else scratch my ass. You'd be fine with somebody scratching your asshole? I think, yeah. I think I would nowadays.
Starting point is 00:12:55 Like if you were super comfortable. That's finger blasting from the back, right? Oh my God. But with jeans, I don't think you can get there. Yeah, I guess. Did she make any bread off that? I don't know. Why'd they blur it then?
Starting point is 00:13:13 Wait, kind of speaking of Urban Meyer. Oh, he's in there, dude. Yeah, if you're finger blasting from the back in a bar, you're going to get filmed no matter who you are. He's prepping for it like he's doing a deadlift. Like that back position is not normal. normal yeah he's trying to get angle and leverage yeah he's trying to break through the denim of the jeans he's trying to rip the rivets i have you ever fingered a girl so hard through her jeans the rivets fly off over the pants hand job or through the jeans fingering there's no way that would feel good
Starting point is 00:13:49 on the raw denim on the pussy yeah whenever you're trying to finger a girl in jeans like started out the jean is so hard it is such a tough yeah top of your knuckles start like bleeding yeah dude i've had callus from gene finger are you like holy shit denim is is a hard is it's it's it's a rough it is very hard yeah it's a rough material gene finger might be my new alter ego put her there gene finger yeah your right hand like two and like these like the ring in the middle finger just fully callus just rocks you almost have to hope their jeans that they've you know when you wear jeans enough
Starting point is 00:14:32 they feel like sweats yeah like it can't be a post watch a post wash starchy jean no if this chick's wearing a brand new pair you see a chick in jeggings you're like nah no jeggings are perfect yeah but you still get the you still get the rush of fingering through jeans without the without the pain yeah that's the only thing stopping it from being top five is the pain i love that we're the most topical show on the internet talking about the urban meyer fingering october 2020 i know October 2021 I know optional introduction yeah no I'll use it Mary Balsmus from our friends
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Starting point is 00:17:55 Manscaped, get your jingle balls ready for the holidays. I do think we should cast a boy for that movie we're working on boy coach? yeah the boy coach maybe one of the kids from like Stranger Things yeah I want Gavin they're getting too old I'd still use that toothless boy
Starting point is 00:18:14 him yeah who else yeah I don't know who we could get DJ Khaled's son yeah yeah I'll make the movie poster a crazy name doesn't he uh what's his name um it's probably something backwards he's gotta like grow into the role right exactly because i think i'd imagine this shit's gonna be in production
Starting point is 00:18:39 hell hot top one goes crazy hard. What's his name? Assad. Assad. Oh, I thought it was like Empire or something. Empire something? Assad Tuck Khaled. Tuck? It's his middle name. That's a weird ass middle name.
Starting point is 00:18:56 It's his wife's maiden. Man, you know a lot about Khaled. Read it right there, right beforehand. All right, so how old is he? So, like, I'd imagine this movie would be in production hell but it'll be asad's first he's like seven he's he's like seven or the eight oh like seven by like seven he meant eight yeah he's trying to um yeah so he's like a arabic basketball coaching project yes like and they like found out early that he was good at coaching good at horrible at basketball no and uh play his dad really wanted him to play but he just wanted to coach women's
Starting point is 00:19:39 and then he falls in love with uh let's cast like Tamika Catchings. She's out of Tennessee. Okay. As the player who gets molested by. No, no. Let's do like an actress. Let's do Kiki Palmer. Yeah. I think Kiki Palmer.
Starting point is 00:20:06 And then we'll do a Sod Khaled kiki yeah uh and that'll be what's what should it be called seven-year-old rapist no i know i don't know oh, he's not. Yeah, he molested her, but... For sure. And he's disgraced. Oh, he's the one getting molested. No, no, no. He's using his position of power. He's the eight-year-old coaching prod.
Starting point is 00:20:34 He's a coach. So, you know, there's a lot of... He has a lot of power and she's... She's a backup. She's at the tail end of her career. She's fighting for minutes. Yeah, she's fighting for minutes. She just wants... She loves the game and uh he makes her a promise
Starting point is 00:20:48 yeah ruined his whole life through his whole life his whole coaching career his whole coaching career down the drain before 10. fuck i gotta go back to middle school now we just need a name for the movie and then yeah i think we start writing it and we we pitch it do you know anybody in the movie biz not directly okay because I wish we could call somebody right
Starting point is 00:21:16 now and pitch it I don't think I do no I don't there was a guy that worked for Netflix that went to the same sauna as me do you want to pitch it to like hank hank we've been working on this for months we wrote this movie we just need like a clever name i'm trying to think of like what are boy things and what are basketball things time out um yeah uh field goal three-pointer dribble uh free hose basketball shoes yeah yeah let's call it basketball shoes
Starting point is 00:21:54 i knew i was i was getting there yeah it's called basketball shoes that's like a basketball term right basketball shoes Yeah, it's called Basketball Shoes. That's like a basketball term, right? Basketball Shoes? Yeah. Starring Asad Khaled and Kiki Palmer. It's a tale of forbidden love. Mook, did you just Google Basketball Shoes?
Starting point is 00:22:19 Yeah. Thanks, man. I knew what they looked like. Is there a visual on it? Thanks for doing that. No problem, boys. knew what they looked like a visual on it thanks for doing that no problem boys yeah dude it's just going to be like it's people are going to be watching a moral quandary they're not going to know which side to pick that's gonna it's gonna be like the new barbie movie yeah yeah like which which team are you on no you didn't need to explain. It's going to be just like the new Barbie movie. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:49 Um, but we, we, we, we really deviated from whatever. I don't know how we got here. Knoxville, uh,
Starting point is 00:22:59 urban Meyer, Jean fingering. Yeah. Do we ever talk about your girlfriend sent you a picture? She was at dinner with Turban mayor oh yeah yeah yeah so the same uh week that we both unknowingly had a new york trip it found out the same way you talked about this on boy dad so there's no crossover just give us a quick recap so we um we communicate with the utmost efficiency you and your girlfriend don't talk about future or past right so you only talk about what's present in like direct future like
Starting point is 00:23:33 what we're gonna do next like immediately next within like how big of a window like what's the most distant thing you have ever talked about lunch lunch after breakfast we're both like the the same style of communicator which is crazy that's great it's a clash i didn't know there was anything like you yeah so yeah i was like by the way it was at night i was like tomorrow morning i leave for new york and she was like oh well i do too different flights and she had a work uh a business dinner a business dinner um and the mayor of hoboken was there which is turban mayor in the cat in the in the fit yeah yeah it's not yeah she was too nervous to uh bring him up because apparently he deleted the post of that I was
Starting point is 00:24:27 like the one at him working at the Panera he deleted the post yeah I think it got to him do you think it was you that made him delete the post I think it was bad for his brand I think he was getting some comments oh no yeah so there may have been beef there may still be beef between you and him yeah
Starting point is 00:24:43 what kind of beef uh lamb when you have beef with somebody that wears a turban it's just lamb yeah I also have, I'll have lamb on Thanksgiving. Why? In a parlay. Yes, sir. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:08 Oh, yeah? Yeah. What you got? I think I'm going to cook up Terry had a kiddle lamb. Terry McClure. Terry McClure and George Kittle all playing on Thanksgiving.
Starting point is 00:25:19 And a little lamb. So you want to do like the under yardage on lamb? Kittle lamb. But you said had a oh had a kiddo lamb yeah yeah fuck mary terry had a kiddo lamb um i was trying to cook up some more parlay my pen was running dry when i was trying to cook up parlays all also got was that and the bookworm which is wait is this about to be really bad yeah it's jordan love and jayden reed jayden reed love reed so yeah be on the lookout
Starting point is 00:25:58 for oh shit the book Oh, shit. The bookworm. KB did it again. KB did it again. How do you think of the bookworm? There's no other reading term names in the NFL? Watson. Yeah, from Sherlock Holmes. That's the only other book term name. Watson. Love. Watson. Read.
Starting point is 00:26:22 Yeah. Damn. KB hit the bookworm we're recording this on a Monday Monday morning you have a parlay out I don't know if people like talking about gambling on here but probably not I always despised it like I mentally muted the any
Starting point is 00:26:37 gambling talk but now that I'm in it it's like I'm in it it's what I'm passionate about at the moment it's gonna be very fleeting probably temporary but i go through these phases you just gotta be patient with me we know yeah okay um but yeah you you're in the middle of a parlay right now you could cash out for 700 you should do that now so yeah so i'm chasing the golden bag k Khalil Shakir? No. Khalil Herbert. No, Shakir.
Starting point is 00:27:06 Oh, Shakir hit. Shakir hit. Oh, you hit Shakir? Shakir and Dobbs hit. Any name for that? Khalil and Dobbs. I don't know. What is...
Starting point is 00:27:21 Yeah. You have something. A Law of the Rings. Isn't Dobbs a Lord of the Rings character? Dobby, like from Harry Potter. That's Harry Potter. Yeah. Yikes.
Starting point is 00:27:40 Yeah, and I need Jarek McKinnon to score to make $4,000. That's incredible. From 50. From 50. Cash out, man. Cash man cash out for 700 no this is a test this is why we gamble i cannot this is why we do it yeah this is what i live for chasing this if i cash out even if he doesn't score i'll be punished i what do you mean i'll be i feel like i'll be punished yeah yeah um all i did i couldn't watch football because i had a flight yesterday What do you mean? I feel like I'll be punished. Yeah. Yeah. All I did, I couldn't watch football because I had a flight yesterday.
Starting point is 00:28:10 Well, I was, you know, I had to get to the airport early. I bet I put $5. I put in 32 or however many quarterbacks were playing yesterday. Everyone to throw a pick. And I think I lost money. But you lost $5? dollars no no five just individual bets i bet every individually throw an interception yeah that just seemed like smart yeah i thought it was yeah how many picks were thrown yesterday individual from each quarterback doesn't matter
Starting point is 00:28:37 i thought it'd be kind of fun because that is fun i'm gonna yeah i went to a bulls game it was a blast yeah so Those are hard to get tickets to Game time Shout out game time Big shout out We'll get to that later Or we already did Yeah so
Starting point is 00:28:51 Just for press for time We're still gonna do the ad reads Normally in this episode But we've been really Pressed for time as of late But yeah The Bulls game I didn't realize this
Starting point is 00:29:01 Basketball is just like One of the acts. It is like a talent show, almost like an event going on where they also are playing a basketball game. What do you mean? Music blasting, even while they're playing, an act, like some type of routine or act
Starting point is 00:29:18 at every halftime and quarter end. So it was like 50% basketball. What were the acts? Basketball players. It was like dancers, senior dancers, senior citizen dancers, like feats of strength, dog tricks, just fan interaction, mascot play. What did you like more? I loved it all.
Starting point is 00:29:44 It was a blast. interaction mascot play what did you like more i loved it all it was a blast basketball players are so cool but uh tall as fuck yeah as i was like looking at them they were so tall how far were you i was pretty close was there good seats my boys were in town oh yeah how was that um good they're all shorter than me that's awesome yeah um but uh they almost it was almost like the players are so cool that they they don't try it they don't think they give it their all regular season to be too cool they don't they didn't give it their all because you could tell because when the game was on the line the last five minutes then they were give it their all because you could tell because when the game was on the line the last five minutes, then they were giving it their all. But they don't play lights out in a regular season game all game.
Starting point is 00:30:29 I think it looks whack to like hustle really hard. So you think if the Bulls were down 22 to one and ended up winning. Wow. Yeah. It's a fun game. That's Duncan Robinson went off. That's our guy. He follows the anus account.
Starting point is 00:30:43 Yeah. We're going to have to get him on have him have us walk a have him walk us through his three pointer his jump shot yeah that'll be a really fucking good episode it's a segment we get NBA players
Starting point is 00:30:58 on these walk talk us through we're gonna play your jump shot frame by frame walk us through why don't you talk us through that? I didn't go out at all in Knoxville. I just watched Jurassic Park one night and then Jurassic Park 2 the second night. Sober? Yeah. I had a I love Jurassic Park.
Starting point is 00:31:24 I thought I did. I thought it was an instant classic um i dana pointed it out dana beers and it ruined kind of the movie for me it's uh when uh who's the fat guy from seinfeld newman yeah uh when he's running from the dinosaur. The that was a good impression. I've never seen it with the Barbasol. The spitting one. Yeah, it's when he slips. They add just a cartoon slip sound effect. And it ruined the fucking movie. That would piss me off.
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Starting point is 00:33:31 warning can you read that warning oh warning this product contains nicotine nicotine is an addictive chemical yeah he gets yeah there's that yeah there is he gets spat on this is one of my biggest cinematic pet peeves exaggerated unrealistic sound effects yes and this is a movie that i think was meant to be taken seriously right like it was supposed to be non-fiction and just get him when he's getting the wench out of the front of his car yeah can we add the audio at least cool yeah very serious movie
Starting point is 00:34:16 watch him slip and like if you're listening and don't want Jurassic Park ruined and like if if you're listening and don't want jurassic park ruined holy i don't know if it was supposed to be like the wench like being pulled too fast that would have been my thought that's hilarious that had ever been discovered so i searched on reddit and one person was like one person like posted and there's like why the slip noise and they were and everybody was like pissed at the guy.
Starting point is 00:34:50 They're like, why did you even fucking point that out? Fuck you. Jurassic Park was my favorite. It like ruined that is one more time. It's like the most cartoon. It's funny. So it reminds me of the second Matrix, the bowling pin sound i don't remember that that was fucking horrible too the matrix is supposed to i'm into this this type of uh content i don't
Starting point is 00:35:13 know what it is yeah i don't know what you don't know what is the bowling matrix bowling pin look at what they did here neo's kicking and mr anderson's ass and look at this. Oh, yeah, I remember this now. It's when he throws one into a bunch of them. Yeah. It's one of the coolest fucking scenes. He's kicking so much ass. I don't like this shit. What?
Starting point is 00:35:41 What is the sound? He throws one guy into a bunch of other guys and it makes the sound of bowling pins falling. Yeah. Why the fuck do you add that in? Well, no, in situations like that one, it's already super unrealistic. I don't like fight scenes when one guy just beats a hundred guys' asses one after the other. But he's Neo. Okay.
Starting point is 00:36:00 Oh, he has a superpower. Yeah. Yeah. Very serious scene. it's tense why wait do it again why the fuck do you do that yeah i hate that i hate that so much that reminds me of the one you put me on it's not necessarily unrealistic it's just funny. It's the Titanic. Boom.
Starting point is 00:36:27 The guy falling. I love that sound. Hitting the propeller. The guy hitting the propeller. But the scream, I think they went a little. Boom. Yeah. That used to be my text alert on my Motorola sliver.
Starting point is 00:36:37 Got the JPEG of it. We need a name for that so we could start just like a thread. We should make an account. I found a Twitter handle that's surprisingly available. What is it? Top 2 Not 2. So you own Top 2 Not 2? I didn't snag it up yet.
Starting point is 00:36:57 Well, you better now. And that should be our movie clip sound effect. That's our movie clip sound effect. It's Top 2 Not 2. Fuck, we got to get that. That's a better podcast name than Anus top two not two yeah yeah huh yeah maybe we call our show that you said you sent us a text that you you went on an etsy shopping spree i did full blown they have a lot of rare items yeah i i found that etsy seller i bought tj as like a thanksgiving gift thanks i'm thankful for tj i bought him a waluigi getting crucified i found an etsy seller that just does nintendo
Starting point is 00:37:31 characters getting crucified so the things i got for the office that will be arriving sporadically throughout the next few weeks are along the lines of that okay but maybe more practical more yeah i'd imagine those things are more practical than that. So can you give us a hint or a theme? Oh, they jumbled themes. Okay. Yeah. Some we might not have room for.
Starting point is 00:37:56 You got something big? Something big. Something small, too. How big is the big one? We're going to, yeah, we'll see. How's it being shipped? It's it being shipped it's an alien it's an alien statue how tall like 10 feet on etsy they they do really well with the how they show the pictures and size references how
Starting point is 00:38:20 and it was like the creator of it all proud standing next to it shorter than it how are you going to get it shipped? How much is shipping? What are you looking? Don't, don't. I want to see it. No. I want to see it.
Starting point is 00:38:32 It doesn't do it justice. How do you know? How do you know it doesn't do it justice? What you just showed, that ain't it. Search giant alien statuette. No, no. Why? No.
Starting point is 00:38:46 Because I want to see what we're expecting. I want the unboxing. But we might be disappointed. So it would be funny if we see it and it doesn't look anything like it. Okay. Wait, is it like a cartoon alien or is it an alien? It's like realistic looking. Is it scary alien?
Starting point is 00:38:59 Is it scary? It looks like a Hollywood depiction of it. There's no chance Kyle's seen Alien. No. I just know um how much was it yeah it's 2500 yeah i said how much money did you spend he just it was water i uh spent my one of my bigger parlays did you did you spend more than a thousand dollars on a big alien no close i wouldn't be able to admit that. But so maybe you did? Stop looking.
Starting point is 00:39:27 Stop looking. You guys aren't even in the ballpark. Of size? Yeah, I got a lot of things, yeah. You got ripped off with a needler. The picture of the needler looks so real, and it's just a Nerf gun. No, it's a Nerf gun. It's embarrassing.
Starting point is 00:39:40 I wanted a real needler. Yeah, how are you guys liking the studio so far? Love it. It looks like a kenn needler. Yeah. How are you guys liking the studio so far? Love it. It looks like a kennel. It does. I kind of do really love it. Yeah. I like having like our own space.
Starting point is 00:39:52 It's really, really nice. Yeah. I'm happy. I am happy. Mook, how was St. Louis? Oh, yeah. Fun shows, awful city. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:01 Really bad city. I mean, there's nothing to do at all. Yeah, it's pretty bad. Perspective is a bitch though perspective is a hoe perspective is a fucking dirty bitch because um i remember going there in college when i was i was pretty untraveled yeah and i was like this is amazing big city there's a casino there's big bars yeah i was like this i felt anytime i go to a city i would feel so blessed so would you if you could reset is there any cities that make you feel wonder anymore that feeling every time i'd go to a city i'd go to like cleveland and experience awe yeah like i'd see the skyline i think i would go to like akron and make it an event. Yeah. I used to think Akron was the city.
Starting point is 00:40:46 I may have tweets about it. About Akron? Here, can you Google KB No Swag Akron? Let's see here. Oh shit, he's got to sign in. What do you have it, Kyle? Yeah, but like we were looking for stuff to do in st louis yeah and we had to google like activities you just had to google the word activities activities in st louis and like on maps
Starting point is 00:41:15 you like the best go see a movie maybe go see priscilla we went bowling yeah um and i'm sore from it oh yeah my fingers hurt dude it's weird your fingers hurt yeah and my ass i don't know why my ass is sore from bowling that are hours on the amtrak but that's probably that yeah yeah i'm more curious about your bus ride oh yeah you took a greyhound down to st louis yeah what's the uh clientele like so it's three types of people. It's white guys with neck tats. Yeah. It's foreign people moving their entire family from Effingham, Illinois to St. Louis. And it's black dudes handling business.
Starting point is 00:41:57 Business? Like black dudes just on the phone, like talking shop. Bluetooth? Yeah. Yeah. That's all it is. And then you. And dudes missing limbs.
Starting point is 00:42:04 There was a couple of those guys. There was then you and dudes missing limbs there was a couple of those guys there was a couple dudes missing limbs like they were looking for i think it's down in st louis have you ever seen that documentary about the guy that lost his foot in a plane crash no it's awesome he can't find it no he he lost his foot in a plane crash couldn't find it um and so this guy ended up buying the field where the plane crashed and found the foot. I remember hearing about this. And he opened up like a roadside attraction of like the mysterious foot. And the guy sued to get his foot back.
Starting point is 00:42:34 And it was this big legal dispute. Who owns? Do you own it? Like if you buy property, you own everything on the property. Or if it's what's the legality of a body part? The person whose body part it is or i think it should belong to the the owner of the body i agree so the guy just how much was he making off of this roadside i don't know i think he was going to see a foot i think i would
Starting point is 00:42:59 yeah i would go out of my way to get see the foot. Probably up to 80 miles. I think so. To see a man's foot. Get a selfie with it. Just a foot. Yeah. What was it called? It was called Finders Keepers, but I wanted to see the foot display.
Starting point is 00:43:18 Can you just search Finders Keepers foot? Yeah. Is it a movie? Yeah, it's a documentary about the actual event i kind of want the basketball shoes poster to look like that i'm so pumped about basketball shoes even if we can get it animated yeah if somebody could or if like any fans want to reenact asad khaled is coach. Kiki Palmer at the tail end of her career
Starting point is 00:43:49 just trying. What? Nothing. Wait, Google the display like the. Yeah. I just want to see how they were showing off the foot.
Starting point is 00:44:01 Oh, he's got a gift shop. Yeah. He did like a whole business around this foot that he found in the field yeah yeah watch the movie i mean that's yeah that's how he went through too this is the kind of shit that i wish that like the the oceans movies like this would be a cool item to steal a foot yeah a foot heist this would be cool to steal this damn we're a movie podcast now. Yeah, is that the... I'm going to be totally honest at first.
Starting point is 00:44:30 John Wood, Legs Owner, is his... Wait, go back. Look at this guy's title. Wait. Oh, there you go. What was it? It's John Wood. Legs Owner.
Starting point is 00:44:43 I don't know which is which. Wait, so who is the owner of the leg? That's the thing. That's the problem. John Wood is the legs owner. And what was the other guy? What was the other guy's title? Leg loser.
Starting point is 00:44:55 Yeah, is he leg loser? Hi, I'm John Wood, legs owner. Oh, shit. Yeah, he kept it on a grill yeah yeah yeah he kept it on a grill that's mad disrespect yeah this guy is a villain smoker turned tourist attraction that's insane it is crazy to be like evolved oh my god oh so there's a third party purchased foot Shannon look at his eyes
Starting point is 00:45:28 he looks like yeah I'm gonna need that foot yeah yeah y'all selling this foot yeah I'm gonna throw it right here on the smoker
Starting point is 00:45:38 and do a roadside attraction that was a giant legal case worth watching not really no I feel like I know it now yep it's all you need That was a giant legal case. Worth watching. Not really. No, I feel like I know it now. Yep. It's all you need.
Starting point is 00:45:55 Oh. You won. A collab that I didn't expect. I didn't know we were doing that well. Rent app is teaming up. Rent app. Rent app. That's R-E-N-T space A-P-P. It's a type of app.
Starting point is 00:46:11 Is teaming up with Barstool HQ to give our producers a free month of rent. That's huge, Moog. Massive. Tune into the NYC Officewide campaign led by Kelly Keegs on Barstool Radio for all talent to pitch why their producer deserves free rent. So you're not winning. It says to share reasons you think your producer should win. I think you should win. I don't if there's like something that I have to do to ensure you win.
Starting point is 00:46:42 It's not going to happen. I'm sorry. But that's something you would need. You would love that. Paying rent is something we all have to do. And let's be honest, it can sometimes be a bit of a hassle. Yeah. A huge financial hassle. And sometimes with the digital pay, you forget your password. You forget your card number. What if there was a way to make it all easier, more straightforward, and even beneficial for your financial future? There is. Introducing RentApp, the ultimate tool for renters everywhere. RentApp takes the hassle out of paying rent
Starting point is 00:47:14 by depositing your payments directly into your landlord's bank account. Easy peasy. No more trips to the ATM, no more mailing checks, and no more managing balances that's what i was saying in multiple apps this is probably i would i don't know i'm gonna go ahead and say it's probably a three to five second maneuver and get this there are no fees and no weekly limits rent app is completely free for you to use no need for your landlord to create an account it's completely free for them too but the benefits don't there. Rent app is also about helping you build a brighter financial future by optionally reporting your on-time rent payments to the three major credit bureaus. Rent app brings you one step closer to homeownership and helps boost your credit score.
Starting point is 00:47:58 That's all I needed to hear. It helps boost your credit score. So while I wait, head to rent app. boost your credit score so while i wait head to rent app row oh head to rent dot app slash barstool for 50 not 50 50 off your first rent payment and download rent app in the app store today i'll be doing that yep all right we're back from a small break. We had to go do the Yak, another program we're on. But no, we're back. Coffee time? Grab it, I guess. I guess I should grab it. That's one of those things, yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:38 Just one of those things you got to grab. Is that empty? No, I guess it is now. I was thinking more about this summer. Yeah. I'm thinking about that, too. I was thinking about it is now. I was thinking more about this summer. Yeah. Thinking about that too. I was thinking about it too. Thinking about the movie.
Starting point is 00:48:48 Can you pull up generic movie trailer music? Because I'm going to try. Yeah. I'm going to try. Because all I can think about is waiting, going to see a movie and seeing a trailer. For basketball shoes. For basketball shoes. because all I can think about is waiting, going to see a movie and seeing a trailer for basketball, basketball shoes. Um,
Starting point is 00:49:08 yeah, maybe just, just click one. Do you want like epic? Uh, inspirational. Maybe I, I don't even want to be picky.
Starting point is 00:49:17 Oh yeah. That's the one. Let's see. Mm. Is this it? Or is it, is this like an ad? This is it.
Starting point is 00:49:27 Is it a little too upbeat? Yeah, a little bit too upbeat, I think. This is a basketball story, yeah. Yeah. This is it. Can you turn my levels up? Thanks, man. His father wanted him to be a player.
Starting point is 00:49:48 I want to coach women, Dad! You are not my son! One WNBA team gave him a chance. But he's just a kid! Look at this women's play he wrote up. The news ate it up.
Starting point is 00:50:04 Coach Assad! What if the game is past your bedtime? A forbidden romance. I know I'm a grown woman, but I love you. A nation divided. Coach, do you think you're abusing your power? Kiki Palmer, he's only
Starting point is 00:50:20 eight years old. This December comes a new kind of romance. Paramount Pictures presents Basketball Shoes. I know I'm your coach, but I love your adult pussy.
Starting point is 00:50:38 Holy shit. That's it. That's it. Yeah. Fuck yeah. Oh my God. What the fuck is this? Basketball shoes? That woman's a pedophile.
Starting point is 00:50:57 You get into a fight with your date right before the movie starts. This pedophile maybe looks awful. What pedophile? Don't want that pig of a coach? Yeah. That fucking scumbag. David Fincher. The Coen brothers
Starting point is 00:51:16 and the Safdie brothers present. Starring Saoirse Ronan. That's the powerful. Starring Ice Spice, Saoirse Ronan as the powerful. Starring Ice Spice, Saoirse Ronan, Pat McAfee. Pat McAfee is the dad. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:37 He's the father of a sod. Ronda Rousey is the assistant coach who falls in love with him. I'm not mad. I'm just jealous. All these women lusting. Can we put this out? For sure. Drake's son is his friend.
Starting point is 00:52:01 Oh, yeah. He knows he's wrong, but he's like, I got a ride for my bro. Ronda Rousey would be in that yeah she's the assistant assistant coach thinking of like the poster silhouette of a little shoe a little jordan little tiny jordan seven. It has the silhouette. Oh my God. Yeah. You're going to AI this. Uh, uh, what should we AI?
Starting point is 00:52:31 Uh, toddler or child basketball coach. Conflicted. Romance. Romance. Yeah. All right. conflicted romance romance yeah alright how long let's do it
Starting point is 00:52:54 generating I don't even know if anyone even is conflicted I think everyone agrees that Assad is a monster no really he's like the villain. He's the bad guy in this. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:08 Oh my God. It's not going to let us do it. Just search kid basketball coach. Oh, I mean, yeah, yeah, sure.
Starting point is 00:53:19 Does he have a revolver in his back pocket? Yeah. He carries a gun. He has a gun. Yeah. That's the one thing as well he has a gun this is so fucking stupid i know oh my goodness basketball shoes um we'd be remiss to not talk about black friday yeah we have barstool kush t-shirts coming out they're hot they're hot they're hot they're hot uh very vibrant perfect for a stoner in your life um we have the not gay shirts on the discord only we'll probably end up getting in
Starting point is 00:53:52 trouble for those and then we're i think we have one twelve hundred dollar t-shirt in the store for black friday but also check out other people's merch too it's probably more wearable yeah so just to make it clear if you want the not gay shirt you have to join the discord yeah only right you'll be able because you're going to get your own link just because it's going to be a i'd imagine a bad look to have that in the store yeah yeah i can't believe this is uh even accepted i don't know how we made it this far yeah the shirts exist yeah we're wearing yeah yeah i don't know how are we did something happen where we became pussies where we became puss yeah because we're
Starting point is 00:54:33 like we're like how why did it had to go through some oh like the comma no we're like the opposite we just do what we want oh shit no because like how i think the shirt is who's is it problematic to wear a shirt that says not gay that's the thing i don't think so i mean you can wear a shirt that says gay right plenty of people do that but why wouldn't the shirt just say straight i guess not gay is like descriptive right Right. Yeah. I don't know. I think it's fine. We shouldn't. Instead of having gay and straight shirts, we should have not gay and not straight.
Starting point is 00:55:10 Not straight. Yeah. Oh, my God. Anything else going on, Kyle? What is going on? Oh, we got a shout out. HY Studios. Yeah, we did already.
Starting point is 00:55:20 Oh, we did? Yeah. Did we? Yeah. Last week. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So don't. Yeah yeah but so not take it back take that out take that back that out back yeah i believe that um oh your place is still a mess
Starting point is 00:55:34 from pat good god yeah and that's why i'm like itching to get home right now because i had to go right on a trip right after pat was here there's just my place my place is maybe ruined from pat yeah i had three boys over how was they actually cleaned it one of my boys uh smoked all of my blunt roaches what just the road he's a fiend like in my little ashtray on my patio he smoked all your roaches yeah did he like combine all the roaches? They were tiny. I guess it's a faux pas. He's like, how do you leave that?
Starting point is 00:56:10 I was like, I don't like to finish my blunts. I don't like to finish my beer. I don't like the last few. So yeah, he just smoked them all. So did they sleep on your couch? So I have a couch for one, and then I had a bare mattress for two. Now, what did they say when they realized you had a second bedroom, but it was for a cat? Yeah, that was an issue.
Starting point is 00:56:30 Was it an issue? Yeah, because there was plenty of room for one of them in there. Yeah. People aren't... Did you put the air mattress in the cat room? No, it was up against the TV. Yeah. And they had a hotel. Oh, what?
Starting point is 00:56:43 Yeah, I wanted them to chill. Yeah. Did you like having them there for, yeah, for a little bit. Yeah. What did you do? What did you take? I don't, when I had people over, I don't know where to go yet. I lose every ability to host when I have to host. I start panicking. Boy, you have the ability to host when you're not hosting. I think I'd be a great host in my head. And then I'm like, I'll take them here, there, there. And I'm like, I don't know what to do.
Starting point is 00:57:08 I have to like Google like places near me. I ended up Googling places. Yeah, that's what I did. In Google Maps, I typed places. Tons. What did you end up doing? We went here and just played basketball for a long time.
Starting point is 00:57:26 For hours. Was it fun? Yeah, playing basketball was the best. I felt like a kid again. Yeah. I don't think I like it. Shooting around, playing golf.
Starting point is 00:57:36 I don't like it. It's always fun. You don't like playing basketball? Mm-mm. Is it because it's humbling? Yeah. It is. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:43 And I'm like, I just don't have to anymore. I don't have, well, I guess I, I like to avoid embarrassment whenever I can. I'm trying to exposure therapy some shame. Okay. To get more comfortable with it. So we used to be like that at the beginning of Rediscovering, like putting on just like a weird t-shirt, I'd be so fucking embarrassed.
Starting point is 00:58:05 And then rediscovering wearing the dumbest shit. Right. Kind of broke me of that. So now I don't want to feel like I want to just desensitize myself to feeling shame. Yeah. So I'll make sure like I like when I'm always on the elevator with a dog and I never know what to do. Now I have to make myself say like, how old? You ask the dog.
Starting point is 00:58:26 Yeah. Can I pet? I've been waiting to pet. Just want it you're okay. I always say, what's up, little bow wow? What, a little bow wow? Yeah. It's pretty good.
Starting point is 00:58:36 When there's a dog on my elevator, and I'll give him a peace sign. Have people been receptive? Yeah, they want that. Yeah. Do you ask what breed what breed i like doing that for donations like all these dogs and now i want one they're like yeah nice you're like practicing but you're still on the pace to get another cat i'm getting another cat it's official are you afraid about too much hair in your apartment? I've never even noticed it. It's the cats have so many, like, people don't know why they don't like cats.
Starting point is 00:59:09 I don't like getting hair on me. People don't like, people don't know why they don't love cats. I don't like getting hair on me. They should be the most loved animal, like the most, the highest approval rating of any animal. I disagree. Okay. I think they're the perfect animal. I don't think they love you as much as dogs do.
Starting point is 00:59:27 That's people... Once you accept the fact that this isn't like an emotional exchange, this isn't a real relationship. But that's what you want. You want companionship in a pet. But then it becomes too much and you get too attached. I think the cat is right down the middle. He's like a random college roommate the cat will only bring me joy and never too much joy and sometimes none but but that's it
Starting point is 00:59:53 like a dog your emotions fluctuate too much with dogs i'm i'm never gonna agree with this one got to keep a box of poop in your apartment. Lit a robot. How often do you have to change it? A lot. It's almost not worth it. It still smells horrendous. Really?
Starting point is 01:00:18 Yeah. I thought they just cracked the code on pass. It's like, oh no, the shit is still very much there. I thought it was like a seal of wet. It's just more shit. It's like oh no the shit is still very much there i thought it was like it's just more shit you could just it just like it's like a larger trash bin so it smells worse almost and more shit yeah but it's just cool because it like goes through and takes out all the shit it'll like yeah it's a whole thing did your parents when you were sick with the flu do they make you puke into kitty litter no it was like it was like a
Starting point is 01:00:45 kitty litter bin with a trash bag okay yeah and then jello and gator fruit punch gatorade that's what you had when you had the flu yeah every time do you have any foods that you can't eat anymore because you got sick beforehand uh glacier freeze um gatorade you can't do it chocolate chip pizza no way yeah what about you applesauce man haven't had it in like 12 years i haven't thought about applesauce what i used to love applesauce had a ton got the flu right beforehand can't even think about applesauce yeah that'll do that pisses you off i think i think i got the flu after i ate pussy once too because now i just can't i'm repulsed by the thought of pussy.
Starting point is 01:01:30 I can't eat eggplant parm. Really? That's fair. I don't think I've had it. I ate too much of it one time. And then sicky? Now I can never eat it again. It sucks when it happens.
Starting point is 01:01:41 We should all try to get back to it. We should all... You can't even think about it? The texture of it. The juice. I don back to it. We should all, you can't even think about it. They can like texture of it. Yeah. The juice. I don't like it. Fuck. So none of you,
Starting point is 01:01:52 you guys aren't going home for Thanksgiving. I got to go to Rochester to watch the nutcracker. No, no. I'm flying to Rochester 25th, flying back 26th. That sucks. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:03 Oh dude, my flight to, I had a direct flight to uh where was i knoxville i uh got my ticket i was like oh fuck i'm seat 13b they like sprung and gave me comfort plus because i usually have to upgrade i was the very last row 13 row plane it was a subaru outback and it was a bumpy ass flight smallest plane in the world did not like that at all um but it was exposure therapy there you go yeah dance in public i'm not doing that that's a big one dancing in public yeah i still can't do that at bars you gotta be shit i gotta be like 12 beers deep oh i to be blackout drunk. Are you doing it? Oh, dancing at like the bar.
Starting point is 01:02:45 Did you dance with your boys this weekend in public? No. They were here for like four days, right? No. All you did was play basketball? We, I. Did you take them to like Bird's Nest or something? I took them to that ramen place.
Starting point is 01:02:58 We slurped. We didn't say a single word to each other. The Bulls game. Oh, okay. Yeah. So you hosted. You hosted. Well, yeah. Yeah yeah i'm in like a
Starting point is 01:03:07 kush coma um uh mook pounce on barstool straight edge yeah we gotta let you switch yeah let's switch it up let's we have something good going let's destroy it i'm being dead serious i don't want this i don't want the pressure of this all right another burner yeah barstool straight edge and we do straight edge memes yeah i love it or barstool sober which one i kind of like straight i think barstool straight edge is funny yeah yeah i'm like yeah i can't even think right now from the kush barstool sober i don't straight edge or sober let's do straight edge um and that's the hub for
Starting point is 01:03:50 i'll figure it out i gotta get really drunk and think of barstool straight wait it's taken what barstool straight edge is taken but no way pull up on the... No, 15 characters. We'd have to do like stool. STR8. Okay. And there's no chance this one's popular. We got it. We got it? All right.
Starting point is 01:04:19 Follow Barstool's straight edge. One second. Actually, when you add in the R, it'd have to be stool. stool straight edge yeah that's funny yeah i'm fine with stool straight edge fuck what did i do what no we need barstool kush do we yeah we do yeah we have like you take it over i'm gonna i'm gonna run straight edge we have like real clients yeah we actually do and that revolution weed is good revolution weed is incredible I'll still run barstool straight edge but I'll make it look lame as fuck because
Starting point is 01:04:53 like right now yeah it's a barstool cush I'm making weed look cool make it look horrible yeah I'm like I'm here I'm like making memes it's it's been people are really fucking with it. Laughing. Laughing a lot. You got stool straight edge? Yeah, I have to verify myself, and it is kind of tough.
Starting point is 01:05:16 Yeah, well. You know what? Waste your time on something that we're going to spend a week on. That's the name of the game. That's the name of the game. That's the name of the fucking game, baby. Anything else? I got nothing. So you got Cush Brain.
Starting point is 01:05:33 Yeah. You guys feeling burnout? Yeah, for sure. Those breaks are going to be nice. Yeah. Well, it's really like the flying back and forth is not really. Really, really tiring. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:42 I'm looking forward to like just chilling. Yeah. I might start jerking off again. When did you stop? Oh, I quit. is not really really really tiring yeah I'm looking forward to like just chilling yeah I might start jerking off again when did you stop oh I quit you quit yeah you did for a while like a sensory thing uh it just but I yeah I felt I felt gay
Starting point is 01:05:57 I'm gonna go home and play with my dick that is gay yeah yeah yeah yeah I'm gonna quit i didn't know you picked it back up i didn't oh my god what picked it back up by it i mean your penis i guess i'll pick this back up uh mook you still jerking oh yeah nice all right new story god bless

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