A New Untold Story - Beastville - A New Untold Story: Ep. 421
Episode Date: November 7, 2024andy warhol, mr beast, and other stuff ads: Gametime - Download the Gametime app today and use code UNTOLD to easily score great deals with the new Gametime Picks! Betterhelp - A New Untold Story ...is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/NEW today to get 10% off your first month. Factor - Head to https://FACTORMEALS.com/kb50 and use code kb50 to get 50% off your first box and 20% off your next month.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast
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Prime members can listen to ad free on Amazon Music.
Shall we?
Mm hmm.
I'm ready.
You mean you're exactly replied to what I'm going to say?
No, you're just going to say no, that's a new untold story.
Hey, is that story over told?
Fuck no, baby.
It's a new untold story! It's a new untold story!
It's a new untold story!
It's a new untold story!
It's a fresh baked untold story!
It's a fresh baked untold story!
It's a new untold story!
It's a new untold story!
It's a new untold story!
It's a new untold story!
It's a new untold story! It's a new untold story episode 412 421 shit.
So I was like, yeah, flip.
Yeah.
Dislexic idiot fucking I'm dyslexic when it comes to numbers.
I can't dumb.
I can't do numbers.
Oh my God.
Everything is flipped.
I can't.
I literally I cannot even ingest like it's always been a thing
I also flip orange and yellow in my head when I mean to say yellow
I say orange when I mean to say orange I say yellow
I bet you could go back on some podcast you and I'll catch myself. I'll be like and that thing was yet
Orange I love every time let's slide. Yeah
What's that dumb? That's dumb. It is dumb. Yeah. It is dumb, but I think we all do dumb stuff.
We all do, yeah.
Yeah.
Was there anything really dumb you've ever done?
Not like overtly dumb, like you really have to like analyze it.
Look through the annals of Seattle City annals.
God damn it.
421 is not an area code, but it is a country code.
We've never done this.
A country code?
So here we go it's a country code for the Central European landlocked Slavic nation
of Slovakia Slovakia ahoy so I try to get a gauge for the language is that
hello the Slovak language and I watched the YouTube video and he's like ahoy is
hello I'm like that's extremely reasonable yeah and I watched the YouTube video and he's like, ahoy is hello.
I'm like, that's extremely reasonable. Yeah, I'm cool with that.
Ahoy sounds like ahoy, which essentially means hello.
Sure. But then everything like he just says ahoy and then.
What is that?
It's like, do not talk to me like that.
It's a do not talk to me like
She's chief to judge me it cheesed to to
Pumice leach a it's like do not talk to me like that dip from my orbit
Doing that with your mouth
Around me and my loved ones do fuck from my family doing that with your mouth
Knows no vows family doing that with your mouth. No vowels. Chichi-chia-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-chichi-ch Are dancing they're playing dance dance revolution Ddr. Letters like up arrows down arrows above them symbols are wearing hats. It does look like DDR Yeah, they got CK's and Y's doing whatever
96 bitter beings
Was that man CKY oh, yeah, they use a lot of
Was that? CKY. Oh, yeah, they use a lot of CKs and Ys.
It's kind of warming up on me.
Do you know what you're saying?
No, apparently it sounds like, Slovak sounds like a drunk pole ordering food.
Is that what they say? Yeah, I've heard that.
Population five and a half million, so not too big. That's the size of South Carolina.
In area even smaller. It's smaller than West Virginia.
No kidding.
And it looks like West Virginia. I did the VR check.
It looks just like West Virginia with the European homes and castles.
Oh, well then not so just like rock forms.
But like this scenery, like the hills, the Car Carpathian the little Carpathian Mountains looks just like
Yeah, but yeah, I think they put a little bit more time into their
Mm-hmm their architecture apparently they're known for being
Envious alcoholics that's their stereo envy and very envy so like they covet thy neighbor's wife
They're just always jealous. I guess I mean they haven't accomplished much
Yeah, they're just jealous of the countries around very envious and but they are they are hospitable as you are white straight and carnivorous
The president is a man named Peter Pellegrini
That's a that's a that sounds like a name you make a Peter Pellegrini. That sounds like a name you make up.
So Peter Pellegrini is gay, but he swears he's not.
And their prime minister, Robert Fico, is straight,
but always gets caught with his mistresses at gay bars.
And he's a mafioso who's just cartoonishly corrupt.
That's their who?
And he survived an assassination recently. Oh, yeah
He's got a wide-ass head. That's a slavic dude or Italian. That is a classic looking like slav that is
He might be gay too. I don't know he's always that gay bars and the other one acts pretty gay
The other one is definitely gay swears
He's not he even had a like a a journalist fired for asking him if he was he's 50 years old a bachelor silver Fox
Yeah, but this guy might be gay, too
survived an ass ass
assassination ass ass ass he survived a big Sean song
What else Slovakia kind of sucks, I wish there was more to it. I even looked up like the most interesting facts. There's not
What's like their cuisine? Are they beet heavy?
It's brinjali shakli and it's a
potato dumplings with a
cheap cheese and fried bacon which sounds delicious. It sounds delicious but it looks everything's very beige it seems
Yeah, are there people
Like the like the stereotype are you trying to act like you're Slovakian pretty what percentage are you I have no idea
You're Slovakian yes, I think you are envy. I think they're pretty you're very I am that's the funniest stereotype
That's so embarrassed typical typical Slovak. Yeah, look at them over there drinking that gin and ton. I am that's the funniest stereotype that's so embarrassed typical slow typical Slovak
Yeah, look at him over there drinking that gin and tonic. I want that and that's that's that's toddler shit
Yeah, I want that. That's what they're all that's verruca salt shit
Daddy yeah, that's agenda
Randall Hobbs, who's Randall Hobbs? He's the envious dude on Monster's Inc
Bunch of mutants. He was envious as fuck.
He was envious as hell.
He had to have been Slovakian.
They have square heads. The women I don't know.
Yeah dude, he is Slovakian.
I always forgot, Randall Poggs.
Yeah, he was envious as fuck.
Yeah, he was.
He sure was.
It's funny to make like a main villain in a movie just real envy
That's such an imp that's so embarrassing their number one stereotype is their envious
Well, they're recent
Separated from Czechoslovakia established 1993 like the Aquarian Barbarian himself
Truly yours Dean Kama Kyle with the swaggerless style.
The five foot plenty prince.
Come on man.
Silvio side, see no need for the ID.
Yeah, just like me, established 1993, January.
What else? Come on. What the fuck else was Slov... Yeah, what else come on what the fuck else was
Slovak yeah what else board is canoeing no way and the racists the bunch of
huck fins oh yeah but that's it like that's all I got a bunch of envious
racist canoers yeah I'm sure good eating potatoes. I'm sure they go to hockey though.
It's probably a lot in the NHL or some.
Yeah.
Well, a lot of it's like Jarmu Jagr is Czech.
So it's like from that year of like.
Same.
Is it Chechnya?
Is that Chechnya?
That's the Czech Republic.
That is.
Is it larger than.
It's larger in population.
You're thinking of like the.
That's like Middle East Russia.
Oh, OK.
What's the new one?
No, no, no.
It's Chechen, sorry.
Yeah. The Czech Republic is technically called Czechia.
That's where the guy was shooting the gun.
The the apathetic target shooter in the Turkey.
I was Turkey.
Yeah, you do make shit up.
Yeah. Dumbass.
Yeah. Yarmul Yager.
Oh, yeah.
He's a duke.
There is a difference.
Fattos.
A lot of good guys.
Slovakia has nothing.
The most famous I could find is David Dobrik.
That sucks dude. Don't get me fucking started on Slovakia. He actually is legally Slovakian
then he was born there. That was the first thing. That makes sense why he's like fucking
around like with his tongue like that. I hate his tongue smile. That's the meanest thing
you've said so far. That hurts the most. He's pushing on his teeth. I don't so hard with this fucking actually Norwegian. He's like wrestling oxygen with his tongue
I I yeah, he's born. He's born in Slovakia. He was even wonder is he an envious guy um
I don't know at one point. I want him to get even bigger
He can't right didn't he like fling a guy off of a crane. He was doing like
Predatory shit with his vlogs he yeah injured a guy gravely with a crane
He doesn't drink, but he would have people come over to do
Yeah, I'm kind of over him, but I'm obsessed with like I love that mr. Beast exists
Yeah, I love that his visually he's damn near impossible. I love that Mr. Beast exists. Yeah, I love that his visually
He's damn near impossible. I love about it like he is like impossibly rich and powerful
He's a mogul, and he's just the dorkiest dude ever named mr. Beast
He just has unlimited power and money. It's unbelievable and then his his his thumbnails
Nothing fills me with rage more than looking at a beast thumbnail.
But he had a mouth so wide, so soy.
I trapped 100 refugees on an island.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
He's like buying actively, like taking,
oh he's like calling on me.
Am I dumb, is he a genius?
Yes. Oh yes.
I think he has the work ethic of a mule, or if that's a thing that works hard mules work hard
I think he has an insane work ethic
I don't know if he's like intellectually a genius, but he's got the like why does he like he's an internet savant a YouTube savant
Yeah, why does he look like that like why is he like smooth out his face really like a ton in these thumbnails?
He's uncanny. Yeah, but he's also like the most average looking dude.
I don't.
Is he an artist?
I don't know.
He does too much.
I mean he does understand like YouTube algorithms
very well which would be a sign I guess.
Sure.
Maybe, I don't know.
Yeah.
But he bought a town in North Carolina.
He's like building like.
Well it's a cult. Beastville, yeah it's like. He's like building like, well it's a cult.
Beastville, yeah it's like cult-
He's building Beastville?
No but it's like, I may as well be.
He's impossibly powerful.
Yeah.
I think he might be the top 10
most powerful dudes in the world.
He's building, oh my God.
Yeah.
I might move to Beastville dude.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What is this new thing? Lunch- lunch- lunch?
Lunchly? Lunchly?
Do not compare them to Lunchables.
Everyone's like shitting on them like,
oh, that's just Lunchables.
People have been doing this for years.
That's how you make money.
You can do the same thing, but aren't they getting real moldy?
I have no idea.
I think like, everyone in their opening is getting moldy.
The queso is oozy. I watching the food reviewers like that are getting paid to review it acting like no lunchable has ever made me say yum or like
No
Yeah, these these YouTube lunch reviewers are taking a bite. There's like oh my
It's an MRE for kids. Yeah. Yeah, that is that is could not satiate a tiny tiny boy
I don't know how that those aren't meals look at that
That's a handful poker chips
That's host communion wafers
Yeah
Yeah, I don't jar good. Yeah, is is
If you split up his face like his eyes, there's there is no soul behind his eyes
he's smiling so
big but his eyes are just I don't I don't I don't like it mm-hmm yeah
somebody who is always visual is he soulful and is he is he is he too better
than I is he too big to fail is he I think he is yeah I don't know I don't
know the little landscape but dude I want to I want to. I don't know the landscape, but. Dude, I wanna,
when I leave this job, I wanna be a Beastville cop.
I wanna be a cop in Beastville.
Yeah.
They would definitely give you segues and a Lamborghini.
Yeah.
They would have a segway attached to a Lamborghini.
It'd be like Dubai, but in North Carolina.
I'm gonna have to give you a ticket,
you're beasting too hard.
Yeah, dude, just. Yeah have to give you a ticket. You're beasting too hard. Yeah, yeah
That's gonna be awesome is like buying a house there like who could just keep their hand on it the longest
I'm gonna be homeless in Beasville homeless and be a begging in Beastville
But like that's gonna work too like kids are gonna want a vacation in Beastville. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm
And I get the appeal to kids mr. Beast
It's like I almost like love it. It's like
Competing for the implications are so high competing for an island
Competing for millions of dollars gave away a fucking island give away an island
Islands aren't good
Good is that they're like built up and civilized and on the coast but take that away and it's islands
So that's like the epitome of like the worst-case scenario isolated with nothing around
So I think it's like 17 year old girl got an island and she was like fuck
Damn it. Not gonna like I have a fucking island to worry about
Yeah, that's a punishment. It's like pimp my ride when they put a jacuzzi in the back the same shit beast please no more islands
Last to leave the island keeps it
I where is it located?
This is somewhere in the Caribbean
I think are there that many islands for sale or is beasters so many will seek small like empty islands
So I don't yeah
He probably also paid he probably didn't pay too much by a million
Yeah, yeah, that's not too much. He does pour a fuck ton of money into his videos like he recreated squid game and
Then yeah Netflix like basically like was like oh, we're doing that
That's better his was like on par with it. He puts a shit ton of money into his videos.
Raccoon Kay, Mr. Beast's New Island video south of Bahamas.
Yeah. What's a 17 year old girl going to do with an island?
Yeah, it's like inhabitable.
Islands are for pedophiles. Yeah.
Mm hmm. That's really it.
Probably a hop, skip and a jump from little St. James.
Might be. Mm-hmm. That's really it probably a hop skip and a jump from little st. James might be
Wait nobody heard about the winner ever again
No one's ever heard of the winner ever again
Dead
She's building a bonfire SOS
Damn mm-hmm
Dobrik's just on snapchat now is that what he's doing that's what a lot of those like semi canceled
Celebrities are just posting ten thousand snapchats a day Yeah, forgot about snapchat, and they just get like crazy money apparently really mm-hmm
I don't know how that works or what we should do that everyone's getting paid
Everybody's getting fucking paid are we know no no
We're unsponsorable with yeah, we're cool. No fuck no
We just spent 20 minutes talking about mr.. Beast and Beastville. We're the least cool. Yeah, this guy's so weird and stupid
Yeah, fuck none of us that we didn't know ones were in their Tim's
We all got well, okay. I didn't want to wear mine yet. I wanted to wear them all together
But Kyle remember how we made fun of your nines for being small
Yeah, what happened?
They ended up looking normal. Yeah, what do you think they fit you a little big?
Yeah, they're so big
Yeah, so like jokes on you guys
Dude, I saw you taking a step you you sent a video to me
Yeah, you're walking around your apartment. You took a step and it did a full 360 around your foot
You were spinning. I was barefoot. We're spinning your
Around your foot you were spinning. I was barefoot. We're spinning your
Jokes on y'all because not only are they not microscopically tiny they're too big for your foot
Yeah I was so close to stepping out. I did step out with them yesterday, and I was told
Maybe not with those pants or shirt. Oh
I already have a bad visual for mine. I I haven't taken mine out of the box yet
We got to wear them. I can't dude
And I did leave the house and I got a text from an article that was like 20 simple ways to style your timberlands
It was always the ways that I weren't styling it
at the moment, so I retreated and took them off.
I'm gonna do them with like gray sweats and a vintage.
That's what I thought was gonna be cool, gray sweats.
That's what you did?
That's what I did.
And it was a no-go?
No.
What's it called, strangling them or something?
You're not supposed to smother them?
You're not supposed to smother the Tims?
Let them breathe.
No, I think you don't smother the Tims is one rule. You don't smother the Tim's mother the Tim's you can't put your pant leg over them
I feel like I'm like as a like a white boy with a goatee like I should be pulling off the more workmen blue collar
I'll instead of like the urban's look right so I gotta go like jeans and a flannel and then have them laced all the way
Yeah, you're gonna break the laces you're gonna look like you're always on your way to some sort of patch whether it be pumpkin or yeah
Or other yeah the other patches
nicotine oh yeah, yeah
Yeah, I had a bad. I had a bad go with all the whole dude
Did you look like most amoebas
Most the common stock amoeba
Hasmat suit and the boots look tiny dude. Oh wait wait search Emperor Palpatine hologram
thick
Yes his hologram fucks up in the in the the movie and it makes him real fucking thick no first image
That's how you're shaped right now, dude. You're shaped with Emperor Palpatine
You're shaped like the Palpatine hologram glitch feel like a truck
Oh my god your upper half it looks like it's like was attached to your bottom half, but not correctly
It looks like your torso ends at your ankles.
Yeah.
Long, long, short, short, short, short, short legs, small,
too.
Tough one.
I thought I looked good too.
The Moresh snipe me and I had the, had the show, the Tim's, the brand new Tim's
and the black light
Don't look great. Yeah, the glowing laces
Yeah, we won't be able to wear them. I'm gonna wear them on stage tonight. Are you yeah?
Oh my god, that's funny as hell
No, I haven't even put mine on yet, but I saw I ordered 12s and I don't wear 12 dude
I put I I you more actuals the size down. I usually wear 12s. I got 11 and a half. I'm swimming in Jesus Christ
I wear 11 and a half and I bought 12s there. They're fucking huge. I'm just gonna I'm gonna wear them
Yeah, I think I'm going to do because like the idea of returning them through Amazon I can't return Tim's like what you know
Like ship it back. What the fuck?
We shouldn't have done that
Kyle sent me a pic you want this up now Kyle. Yeah, what did you send look at this?
Is that cat shit exactly is it I?
Mean is that your couch I got off the bed like this is like
peak election and
Is that I still don't know I cleaned it up or tried, it's still stained.
Is that poop or is that vomit?
Ah, it could, it looks like the cat was in the middle of that gap doing both.
There was, it, and I still don't know, I even like.
Cause it's two different splatter patterns as well.
Mm-hmm, there's more on the floor.
Is the couch ruined?
The couch is ruined.
Really?
And nobody's owning up to it which
one do you think there was a point where I really like visually interrogated both
and I was like they didn't do it that was my girlfriend in my heart sunk in but
then I think it was one of the cats who knows though
Yeah, could it be both? Oh
Could one of the pukes grossed out the other one so it caused a chain reaction. No it is disgusting
How did you interrogate them?
You know just like
Petting them see if they like reacted differently looking at their eyes, their behavior, still don't know.
Would your girlfriend offended
when you considered it might be her?
That was in my head.
Oh, okay.
Could be.
No, it wasn't her.
Could it be you?
I'm third, third most likely.
Dude, did Tucker Max sneak into your place and get a blowjob with a unwiped ass
One of the best stories. Yeah, what a legend he is
Yeah, shout out sling blade so I know sling blade the absence story the midget story the sushi story
What was the backpack he did the camel back? Oh death juice death?
Red Bull Gatorade and everclear
Dude, I looked at that guy like as like I read that book and I think ninth grade
I was like, yeah, that's me too. I was like 19th grade but
He's a good writer he is a good writer and tell I believed it all I know it was so it was like and his name
He fucking Tucker max. Mm-hmm. This is like the most in-depth vivid description of my blackouts
Second of me blackout it was like just vivid descriptions of how he owned women with facts and logic
Mm-hmm. How's it this guy they had to just give up the pussy after he did that?
I had to have you what are the names of his book?
He's a new one sir we had one come out last year.
Asselsthal, Nish first and hilarity ensues.
But he also has belligerence and debauchery.
I didn't know that.
Twenty twenty three or is that 2003?
Two thousand three.
So that's his first book.
I listen to the audiobook.
Oh, that's the lowest of the low.
Fantastic.
Do you imagine if a tick tocker came up and was like, what are you listening to?
Listening to Hilarity ensues by Tucker Maxx.
And then they play a snippet as you're running away.
I was in the club shooting ropes against the glass bathroom window.
And they just hold the camera on you walking away with your ass as the focal point.
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A new untold story is sponsored by BetterHelp.
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Did you see the guy it was like a really hardcore tattoo you got his whole back done And they were trying to show like the line work and everything while they were tattooing it
It was this guy's entire back, but his hey had no pants on and his ass was jiggling so much
pants on and his ass was jiggling so much in this tattoo. His ass was jiggling beyond any ass I've ever seen unintentionally from the tattoo
gun in his upper back, just absolutely quaking.
That's unrecoverable.
Oh, wait, we have to find, I don't even know how to fucking find, but I was just like,
just go to Twitter and search like ass jiggle tattoo
Yes, those three terms because that thing I was like I was just scrolling my timeline
I like I you know it like crops the video, and I was like there's no way this can be that funny and
All right here it is
Go full screen with it. Oh my the craziest
Fuck it the bars in the way the ass is ass
And he's trying to like everybody in this this video is trying to look sick
Yeah, I mean look at the tattoo. Yeah, a Greek God
You can't move the play bar over the ass play it small. I guess I don't know
It'll come up on screen. Yeah, just hit play
Hold on
No go back to the beginning of it, I think that's where it's
Like Zeus or this sickest back. I've ever oh and his ass
He's not even like a thing he's slim no no but his ass is fat
Nice full bag Zeus tattooed
The jiggle does not match like the the hardness of the test no dude. It's jiggling. It's jiggling like a much fatter ass
It's like the recoil of just the wipe is causing that ass to jiggle like he's wiping the like the the soap off the ass and
Look at the jiggle so much from just the wipe
If you're doing full-body Odin or Zeus wherever that is like
You can't go. Yeah, don't go to crack. Don't go to crack. You don't need to go. No, I can't go that low
There's no need
And it's just like that's one of the hardest tattoos I've ever seen yeah, it's like the most alpha thing like okay
I'm reading and it looks like you got that all in one setting yeah, all my I'm reinventing my life
I'm a man. I'm gonna take an ownership of my life and the first reveal my little ass
The best it'll ever look and it's stolen by his little yet
I've never seen an ass so small jiggle. I didn't know that could do it. It's like a physics brain teaser
How's this thing going? Oh?
Man, that's awesome. Yeah, oh
My god, that is awesome
today's November 7th and
On November 7th 1991 magic Johnson found out he is AIDS no kidding kidding. This is the AIDS date. AIDS day, AIDS day.
One of the funniest, I mean, he retired from basketball.
Not that crazy of a thing.
But one of the funnier parts to me was that he said,
initially he didn't know how he got the disease.
What you mean, Cook?
Only fucking you, Cookie?
I forgot you watched the wedding time.
Wedding time is fantastic.
It made me really, really idolize Magic Johnson.
Yeah?
Yeah.
He has just his vibrance and his skill.
Yeah.
Yeah, he got it.
Yeah, he was, he was naughty.
Yeah, that he said right after it may have been through having numerous sexual partners.
That may be it.
That may very well
Then he tried to come back and then a lot of players were like I don't know if this is safe if he like opens a wound or whatever carl Malone was very much against it
Yeah, yeah beacon of morality yeah, so he never played he played an on the dream team, right?
Yeah, he came back for the Olympics, but he had a knee injury. He didn't get to play. He played like a little bit
But yeah, no in the I haven't seen the show,. He didn't get to play. He played like a little bit. But yeah, no.
I haven't seen the show, but yeah, you were right, Cookie.
She made it out.
He doesn't, like he's still like kinda chunky and-
He does.
He's craniofacially fat.
Yeah.
And he might just be fat.
He might be fat.
Yeah, but he wears it well.
He's one of those like big-
He wears the AIDS well. Yeah, but he wears it well. He's one of those like big. He wears the AIDS well.
Yeah, he does wear it well.
Yeah, he's like quite literally the opposite of Matthew McConaughey and Dallas Buyers Club,
who was like actively disappearing due to the AIDS.
Yeah, the AIDS.
Yeah, he didn't.
He didn't.
He expanded.
Oh my God.
Is that a real card?
It's one of those like, like bin Laden type cards. Oh, yeah. Yeah
Yeah, trading card
major issue AIDS
Yeah, I kind of like miss that
I mean you kind of get in the back with like Yoke Hitch and and and donk itch now
But like back then like Carl's Carl Charles Barkley like chubby athletes chubby athletes big fellas. That's a real card
Yeah, no, that is real. 1992, 1992 Magic Johnson AIDS card.
Yeah, that's November 7th.
There was a bunch of like election.
Gemma 10 for 150.
I'm getting it. Get it.
Yeah. No, I'll offer him a Honda.
You think? Yeah.
One one 50, your best offer.
God damn it.
OK, I've never been interested in cards.
Or you say. God damn it. I've never been interested in cards. What are you gonna say? This, the guy I'm thinking of who's also Slovak via his parents, I think is the number one
guy who you'd think would have AIDS. Like it would make the most sense.
To have AIDS. He's like super AIDS adjacent
in my head. Jeffrey Star. Andy Warhol. Oh yeah. Yeah. Pittsburgh. Yeah. Parents are
from present day Slovakia. Looks out of this world. Doesn't look. He wore a wig. Like that
guy should have a. Yeah. that looks like an AIDS man.
It's an AIDS man.
That's a, I never thought about that.
It looks like a wig.
He was obsessed with his wigs.
He was a wig wearer.
He was interesting guy.
He was, what's the word, gay.
Yeah.
But not open.
Kind of asexual, right?
He was asexual and a voyeur, which is a weird combo. Yeah. But not open. Kind of asexual, right? He was asexual and a voyeur, which is a weird combo.
Yeah.
So look up, just type in voyeur, V-O-Y-E-U-R.
I don't know what a voyeur is.
I see it.
I have window shopping.
The example sentence from Google is crazy.
What does that say, the example sentence?
He stood transfixed, voyeur feasting on the swell of her buttocks. What? That's the example sentence. That was just us with that tattoo.
Yeah, that was really it. It's a person who gains sexual pleasure from watching others when they are naked or engaged in sexual activity.
So everyone's like, yeah, he's voyeuristic as hell, but he's also asexual. He's gay, but he's a devout Catholic.
Yeah, yeah. He goes to church every day.
Goes to church every day.
He converted people to Catholicism.
That's what he took the most pride in. Apparently.
He was a pretentious cunt, I guess.
He reinvented the way art is perceived, I guess.
The definition of art.
With the Campbell Soup?
Yeah, he was like, here's Campbell Soup,
and here's Campbell Soup again.
And again.
And again, and here's more Campbell Soup.
But not the color she typically is.
Here's, did you like triple Elvis?
Well, here's eight Elvis's.
Did you like three Coke bottles? Here's you did you like triple Elvis well here's eight Elvis Did you like three coke bottles here's three bigger coke bottles here's three green coke bottles now here's a hundred and twenty one
Coke bottle he did a hundred twenty one yeah
Yeah, I'll be honest. I never really liked his art. He was a hoarder
Good God he's hoarding a pop bar He survived an assassination Good God. He's hoarding it hard.
He survived an assassination as well. That's crazy.
A radical feminist tried to kill him. Mm-hmm. How so? With a gun. With a firearm.
Did she miss? And he got fucked up. He got nursed back to health. And then didn't pay the person, the medical team. But the boy that nursed him,
the man that nursed him back to health became his partner.
Oh, that's right.
And that guy was on a plane and the plane just exploded.
That's a bummer.
That is a bummer.
Just like a spontaneous explosion.
I used to pretend to like Andy Warhol,
just cause I think I went to his museum in Pittsburgh and I was like this is yeah, it's something about it. Yeah
but he hung out with Basquiat uh-huh and I I was reading about Basquiat the other day because
In monkey boy that's coming out we put Clemmer
We went to T. T. J. Maxx and got him like a really big Basquiat
Zip-up jacket for him to wear in the documentary.
Five dollars.
For no reason.
Basquiat was straight-ish.
All those artists were.
Mm-hmm.
When Basquiat was a minor, he went to go get a haircut in Puerto Rico.
And the worst thing imaginable happened. And don't laugh.
Don't laugh to what happened when he went to go get his haircut in Puerto Rico.
He had an exposed brain under his hair.
His barber was dressed in drag and orally raped him.
He said that was he sitting down?
That's the worst case scenario for a haircut.
Which so Andy Warhol always tried to get him out to the gay bars and he was like, no, like I really bad man orally raped by his barber. Wait,
why do you go to Puerto Rico for I don't know which meth?
Which vessel is orally raping could it be either? I don't know
I'm guessing it's hit his the assailants penis. No, I was thinking the opposite of he I don't know how that worked. I
Think both would yeah both would be
Sir awful rape Basquiat then dated Madonna.
And that made me look.
Whoa, I thought that, I didn't know they overlapped.
I thought Basquiat might've been a.
Mos, Basquiat was, Basquiat died at 27.
He was young.
Wow.
Basquiat dated Madonna.
And then I looked up Madonna's dating history.
Basquiat, and then she broke up with him
because she said he did too much heroin
Not about not just did heroin just too much too much for me then she went from Basquiat to Sean Penn
Madonna yeah Sean Penn to vanilla ice
Vanilla ice to Dennis Rodman
Dennis Rodman to two-pound two-pack to pocket
All these names back to pack to pack Shakur to pack Shak
Then the guy Richie The director yeah a rod
JFK jr. Michael Jackson then David Blaine that I didn't know that that's that is that unreal less than my star-studded list she crushed
And she dated women in between that too mm Mm-hmm. That's it. Yeah
Yeah, I remember that was a little that was just one on the little chance sorry for interrupting Warhol that's all I had
pretty much
Warhol is interesting though
because
Every I think like every dude he ended up fucking died pretty tragically. Warhol? Yeah.
I didn't know he was on record fornicating.
Yeah.
He hated it though.
He said it was messy.
That's right.
There's every...
It's so much tragedy.
Every time I read a Wikipedia page, it's like I'm so like desensitized to grave, horrific
tragedy.
Yeah, like Basquiat died at 27, was raped as a minor in Puerto Rico, heroin addict,
like horrible. Yeah, I just thought painter painter you try that would have been impressive alone
I would that would have knocked my socks off
Is that gonna be the case in like a hundred years from now people are gonna like read our biographies and was like nobody's gonna read
I don't know shit. He did yak and ain't
And he was any couldn't he couldn't burp he was added
And he was any couldn't he couldn't burp he was added
I guess you could frame it to be like pretty tragic he couldn't burp Yeah, it'll be like when we read the Wikipedia articles like oh we had an iron lung
Early life Kyle stopped growing when he was eight
Cause gonna be like seven three daddy forced him to fight
Cause it's gonna be like seven three daddy forced him to fight
Yeah, I think it's what it's gonna be like his father
Mm-hmm was more focused on tricking people on the internet. Yeah
His father yeah strange man
Yeah, they could do it for you. Wait, you're kind of troubled dude. Yeah Yeah, I can do it for all of us though. You had a kratom addiction. Yeah. Yeah for you
We could just be like he he persevered though. He couldn't process any food. I can't I can't adjust food
Yeah, they're gonna be like what I once in a public in a public forum said to pack
Yeah, I can't read yet Rudy could yeah, I guess so yeah, yeah mooks will just be an image
Yeah, I guess when you do it he overcame so much you can work like everyone's story has a verbiage that
You can make crazy
Have you ever looked at on Wikipedia how often the pages are edited when I went to boss yacht this morning It was last edited 42 minutes ago like it's cut people constantly who else was who got up?
Someone got up this edit boss. You had some shit. That's a crew
I'd be interested in talking I would love to talk to like a fool not a full-time because they don't get paid like the one of the prominent Wikipedia editor
Yeah, are they editing like he's cool. I got it and shit. Are they like making I don't know
I don't know. I think they're adding little details. I believe I'm still in the band Ram Jam Wikipedia hasn't found out that that really
I believe I'm still in the band Ram Jam who sang black Betty? Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. See there. I am in past members
That's a big enough band that it probably gets a decent amount of traffic and people are yeah
It's like probably like Betty is a pretty popular song. I'd imagine this pay is it a couple every time
Black Betty plays at least one person is like this things black Betty
Members and then there I am. So yeah, when was it last edited? I hope it doesn't get where does it say that?
I scroll to the bottom. Yeah, I've never actually looked at that
It's on mobile prolific editing wars on Wikipedia. Yeah history, but yeah, they haven't really found that yet last edited
Yeah
I've been on there for a while, so I think Wikipedia's of I got him Nick Nicky terrain
Do you like clearance or can any anybody can edit shit can do that, but it'll get taken down pretty quick
There's monitors. Yeah, it's one of the best systems we have in place. Yeah. Yeah.
Moot can just go in and don't do it. Don't take me off. Oh no. Moot.
Don't take them off. So wait, you can, I didn't know it was this easy. Yes.
I thought you could just like, I thought you had to be moot.
I'm going to be so mad at you if I get taken off of ram jam because you're
fuckery
No, it's too late now Do what you were gonna do were you gonna put yourself in ram jam?
I was gonna put Kyle I was never in ram jam
I was never in ram jam
Not now
What the fuck
Kyle, oh Tim's bower all lowercase that's how it's stylized
Oh Tim's bower all lowercase. That's how it stylized
Yeah, congrats now you're in ramjam, I don't want to be in Ram you took away like my one thing
That Nick from ramjam
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Fuck yeah
We have a man on the street coming up.
Your least favorite thing.
It is, yeah.
Yeah, I'll be cranky.
Tom Lay said we should just go up to the oldest people we could find at the tailgate
and ask him gay son or thought daughter.
Wait, what game, sorry?
WVU Baylor.
Next week.
Yeah, I would much rather do that than, like, drunk college kids. Yeah don't I say we don't know what I don't think we talked to anybody young
Because I think this is for like the rowdiest tailgate series like other people have been doing man on the street other tailgates
And we're just talking to elderly you let's just find geezer, but like we keep it pretty pretty quiet
Mm-hmm quiet do a whispering man on the street
It mm-hmm quiet still whispering man on the street. Yes, sir
All right
That'd be nice. I couldn't you can get you soon drunk
No, Houston. No no that was two years ago
Yeah, that was like a schism in my life
That was a schism dude you missed uh I
think I Might be in the background
of a Paul Wall music video.
Cause when you left, he was filming a music video
right after the Astros won the World Series.
And I was like, I tried to jump in.
So you couldn't, you didn't even check?
Yeah.
Well that would be.
But you don't know the song or anything?
No. No idea. I've never even tried to find it, but I just remember that one.
Like this dude threatened to sue because he jumped in front of the camera
with this big light and he he grabbed the microphone and goes, oh, oh, oh.
And then he like, he mailed Barstool saying he didn't know he was on camera.
I'll remember this.
He ran like, dude, what? Yeah. It's like Avocado Ross, kind of. Like emailed Barstool saying he didn't know he was on camera. I'll remember this. And he rattled like.
Dude, what?
Yeah.
It's like avocado Ross, kinda.
Yeah, yeah, kinda is.
Avocado Ross?
That was the guy that thought he was the avocado guy
that sent the Tinder message.
But it was another avocado guy?
There was a, Barstool posted like a Tinder message
of some guy saying like,
I'm gonna like spank you like the dirty little avocado
You are like some wild shit. Yeah, and then some dude came in and was like you got to take that down like people were saying
It's me. It's not me and David like I don't know who the fuck you are. Oh
That was him. I don't know
I mean either way like his attempt to to quell the storm of him being pinned as avocado Ross only
Created like way more
Yeah, and Dave dis day port and I repeatedly being like I don't know who you are you need to leave and he was like
Okay, now you're filming me
And also the worst part about it is that the YouTube short of it on on barstool
Oh, it's Mike Jones. I bet well his Paul Wall Houston. Yeah, yeah, it's Paul Wall
But the the YouTube short of the avocado raw saga
Has like 14 million views and for whatever reason the auto-generated thumbnail is just my face no way says crazy
Storms into Barstool sports, and it's you and it's just like the thumbnail of it
It's hard to like you can't like see the thumbnail
but it's cuz I talk at one point during it and
Yeah, it's just my fucking face. I
Yesterday was election day
Kamala lost yeah, and Rudy I bet you're so excited to put on your chapel rown hat and go out to the bar
And there's an Easter exhale really loudly into your drink so girls notice.
We're gonna be okay.
Mmm.
Is that the plan?
That's the first time you've unveiled the chapel rhone hat.
Uh-huh.
Right after Kamala Lute.
You are...
Yeah, I'm an ally, but really I'm a fucking nightmare dude.
Is it like her merch or, oh my god.
Yeah, dude.
Yeah. It's not about me. I just feel so bad for my poly friends. Is it like at her merch or oh that oh my god Yeah dude Yeah
It's not about me. I just feel so bad for my poly friends
This is where we make gains brothers
Yeah, good God. Yeah, your magic Johnson announcements gonna be amazing
Yeah, I'm gonna I don't want to do anus next to Rudy just in case he gets an open wound
I'm gonna retire. Oh there it It is crazy guys storms Barstool HQ
Yeah
Yeah, and it's not even a good look you look fine. I'll be like my best photo. It's decent. I'd take that photo
Thank you guys. I spent $300 on the Pokemon trading card game app that just launched cool, man
Not good I'm not good. Do you get anything tight? Yeah, I've every card. Yeah, I would just hack it
So you have get in the code and just make sure I have all the cards
There's only one only they only have genetic apex right now that set so right obviously I have every card from that
So now what?
Chillin we get to like show them off is like a social plot can I can battle them?
But this is my new thing and then I just I just bought the magic Jonathan AIDS card
So I need to stun Tim's I I'm gonna get evicted from my apartment
Yeah, we
Need to try like saving.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't really do that.
We need to try making.
That would be helpful.
Yeah, we need to start making first.
Plan A, make Plan B save.
God damn it.
We are, we're not doing either.
We ain't making and we are spending.
Damn.
Dude, I watched the Zodiac documentary on Netflix. How is it? It was awesome until the last five minutes
It has to be one of the worst endings of any documentary
I've ever seen in my life to the point where I almost thought it was a monkey boy comes out
So they build up this like whole story about like the whole thing is like no one knows who the real zodiac is
There's all these guys on that's the whole point. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, and then
At the very end they like they pitched this whole thing about this one guy
Al a Alan Lee some shit Alan Lee Alan whatever and it's like very convincing in the very end
They have like this whole like DNA thing where they can finally get it going and they're like
Oh, we're gonna like run DNA on this like yada yada yada
And then the last frame is just them
being like they haven't gotten results yet the producers have reached out oh
wait so why didn't they just wait why didn't they just wait to put it out I
wanted to put it out no so then I took I went to reddit the Zodiac killer reddit
is one of the is hilarious they're still talking about them they're going crazy
and they were so funny like there's got the guys posting like I can't wait for
all these guys all these
Newbies to come in here thinking it's a la they got no idea they like look down upon people
I don't what they don't know any they don't know shit
They they are like pitching people that are they're pitching like Dobby from Harry Potter
They're like people no one has ever even heard of good
And there's an enormous amount of evidence that is this guy like an enormous amount of evidence
Wait potential piece of evidence eight hours ago. guy. Like an enormous amount of evidence. Wait, potential piece of evidence, eight hours ago?
They're still finding shit?
Yes.
I don't know, it would be fun to cosplay
and trick yourself into believing
is like a fucking fictional character who did it.
Did Alan even resemble the sketch?
Oh, so they're pissed.
They're pissed.
They're perpetually pissed.
But why are they banking on the sketch
being super accurate?
I don't know.
But it's just like, it just like the red dot on Jupiter,
the storm that never ends.
Yeah.
Just a bait constant.
Those people don't want it to be solved though.
No, exactly.
It's fun.
There are still those two, one thing that is interesting
is there's still two cryptographs that have never been solved.
That is interesting.
Yeah.
But maybe they just can't be.
I mean, people forget this is a crazy person.
Right. There's two to say you actually made it accurate
All of the Green Bay Packers are flat earthers now what?
sick transition wait actually
Really a lot of them why?
People people like that shit. Yeah, I guess it's fun. It's thrilling
It's like we. Yeah.
Who was that from Aaron Rogers?
Now, I think just a lot of dudes.
There's probably one like pretty good YouTube video.
And then they send it around.
That'll make waves.
Mm hmm. That was loose change for me, dude.
Nine eleven. Yeah.
Pigeons. Yeah, there's a person when I really liked.
What about pigeons? Pigeons are listening. Oh, I'm not buying pigeons. Yeah. Pigeons. There's a pigeon one I really liked. What about pigeons? Pigeons are listening.
Oh, I'm not buying pigeons.
Yeah, pigeons are fake.
I like the one where the pyramids are,
where actually electro, they produce electricity.
Pigeons do?
No, the pyramids of Egypt.
They produce electricity.
Is that believable?
Big time, well, scientists are like,
oh, there's evidence that they produce electricity.
I'm like, are you fucking high?
I might start believing in stupid shit. I think what's the downside you're looking for
Yeah
And every like new thing like yeah, it's like every new hint that drops is exciting
Yeah, I feel like if I found out like oh like the earth is flat
I would frolic for 48 hours being like, oh, this just completely rewired
my perception of the world.
All of my inhibitions are now gone.
I get to live like-
Just because the world is flat?
I think so.
You would, all your inhibitions would be gone.
For a little bit.
No, I wouldn't.
You'd feel like a drug.
That would hit like a drug.
Nothing.
What would change in your day to day?
Everything in life is so familiar like everything is
what we think it is yeah nothing is nothing is truly crazy we should come up
with one that would be fun but it's just like how you have to be fucking nuts to
like think of one people are coming up with one they're trying to say that
crumble cookies aren't good and they're in there and they're gaining steam.
They are developing an army.
They're getting mad at the lines.
They're not that good.
Why is the line this long?
Because they're that good.
Yeah, it's like, OK, they're
they're too expensive.
Gotcha. They're I'm with you.
They're overrated for cookies.
They're worse than other good
cookies. Sure.
They aren't disgusting. They aren't. Sure. They aren't disgusting.
They aren't repulsive, they aren't disgusting.
So here, okay, you are disgusted by crumble cookies.
You dog.
Come over here and I wanna watch you hold your nose
and gag on this fucking Reese's Peanut Butter Cup cookie.
Like you can barely handle it.
I wanna see your,
I wanna see your gag reflex activated
like it's never been before
while you choke down this snick,
this disgusting snickerdoodle.
Like yeah, you really hate crumble cookies.
And they're always like, oh, but I love tequila.
All right.
They are always like that now.
They love Negronis.
Yeah.
You love vermouth that much,
but you hate, you can't bear
Choking down a crumble cookie, so you can't fucking disgusting to them
Dude, I want to I want to watch like a YouTube video
That's in the tone of like flat earth 9-eleven loose change pyramids aliens about our crumble cookies actually disgusting
Like I know everything's opinion-based, but like I think that crumble cookies are scientifically
and objectively not disgusting.
Yeah.
I'm with you dude.
That's perfectly fair.
Don't worry, you're safe.
Okay, so many people hate them.
You're safe here dog.
Also it's a delivered cookie.
If it's a cookie delivered to me,
I'm going to appreciate it.
It's a treat. It's appreciate it. It's a treat.
It's a treat.
It's a treat.
It's a treat.
Like at my door, that little box.
And you don't have to eat the whole thing.
Wait, go to that bottom one.
Go to Timmy's takeout.
Crumble cookies are disgusting, all caps.
Yeah, someone DM'd me and was like, hey, I'm fat and I still think crumble cookies are
disgusting.
Like fat people are notorious for having strange aversions,
yes to unhealthy foods, but also healthy foods.
They can't stick to a balanced diet.
That's why you're fat.
This is 14 minutes.
Crumble cookies new flavors are disgusting.
Let's just go to the taste test.
I hate that collar on that shirt.
Yeah, he's been chewing.
Please don't get mad at me.
I'm not in the kitchen.
10 on 10, is it?
Next up, let's try Dark Dream.
Now, this one looks very interesting.
It has an insane amount of chocolate chips.
Insane. Look at that.
How do you not like that? Oh, disgusting.
We love that.
I think this dude's gay.
You think? I think this dude's gay.
He likes it. Yeah, you don't think it's disgusting.
I want to see him like spit it out.
I'm kidding. It isn't that bad. I just had to make that joke.
You know, it's fine. It is not bad. I just had to make that joke You know It's fine. It's fine fine. I want to see him spit it out
This dude, I don't want to assume sucks penis mm-hmm
But it's like even like it isn't that bad like that's what you say for like a screwdriver at breakfast
Okay, that's not that bad. That's how you, like, that's how I would describe,
like, honestly getting a filling.
That wasn't that bad. That's not that bad.
Right, the shot wasn't that bad.
The catheter wasn't that bad.
But I mean, I don't know why someone would like lie
about that. Yeah.
So like send video proof of you hating crumble cookies,
and then I'm with you
But what if they're just faking it they they could be faking it you just have bad actors mm-hmm
maybe
Unhealthy yeah, I want to see somebody like not able to spit it out. I mean are there any like
Like treats like true treats that you guys find disgusting um disgusting
disgusting mmm I mean basic would be licorice the black licorice I even think
that's like kind of bad but not disgusting candy corn candy corn like
not that great I like candy corn but fine um oh oh
though this will actually make me gag and throw up the
buttered popcorn jelly beans
The jelly be the butter popcorn flavored jelly beans will make me gag and throw up. I think it's fucking disgusting
Yeah, jelly beans that in itself, but it's meant to be a candy and a treat and they sell just the butter popcorn in a bag.
That's the most popular flavor.
Yeah, but like jelly beans are like a wartime treat.
It is, yeah, you give those to like kids
after you burn down their village.
Right, yeah.
And they're like, I cut it.
They used to just give chocolate to kids,
like sorry about your parents.
That's my favorite trope in like every
World War II movie is like the handsome.
And then they forgive, the kids are like, forgive them.
The handsome soldier's like, oh you want a candy bar?
And the little Belgian kid is like yeah, they love that my parents are like liquid yeah
All is forgiven
I'm standing on my parents
In the treads of my size eight Timbs are my folks.
Thanks for the chocolate.
Chocolate probably hits.
Do you imagine?
Post vaporized folk parent chocolate.
I bet you it makes them like resent their parents too.
Like, oh, they never gave me anything close to
And you're tall and handsome, and I'm sexually attracted to you now
Yeah, that's how it goes that's how Andy Warhol came up yeah true true true true anything else boys
Livestream oh live stream tonight when this comes out for Brawley who uh CPD
see chronic
Yeah, yeah, he's in a lot of pain going through anguish go through anguish
We're gonna all super chats will go 100% goes to him will be gaming we chat and we'll be doing stuff
I'm doing a lot should be fun. Yeah, we're gonna be getting a lot of pain
But he's still got time to challenge me to a fight who bra oh yeah, you should fight him. Yeah, sorry CRPS CRPS
Yeah, if we hit it like if we hit like I'm gonna give a monumental goal like 15 grand
You should you should bring the giant check to him and fuck him up. Yeah
You want this money?
Yeah.
You have to get through me first.
Yeah, this pain right here is on the house.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I said this, I think there is one able-bodied
anus listener who would lose a sanctioned fight to Brawley.
There's one guy who can stand and jog
and move his limbs freely,
but would lose in a boxing match to Brawley
It would be a decision. No. Yeah, there's no not a unit
We just put up the scrims the jiggling ass
Yeah, but yeah, he was hitting the bag
Comically. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he could
Yeah, I think he could
definitely
Yeah, he could beat somebody mm-hmm
He used a good like a picture you use that that you posted try to be hot I didn't try it succeeded he did
Yeah, that's like that's pretty good power yeah
Shot brother, it's good. It should be fun
I'm excited. We'll be fun. We got a bunch of stuff planned and
I will try not to crush your foot this time
Yeah, and if you if you do your best not to try to frame me what it actually didn't happen
I'll be honest. No you won't.
Top the bottom.
This time I hope so.
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
Yeah, we'll see you guys tonight.
Tonight.
God bless.