A New Untold Story - Boy Story VI Pt. 2 - A New Untold Story: Ep. 441

Episode Date: March 27, 2025

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Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, a new untold story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcast, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad free on Amazon Music. Are we good to go? Let's do this. Reply to what I'm going to say. Hey, is that story over told? No, baby. Now we're never going to be able to do more than an hour and a half.
Starting point is 00:00:49 Yeah, we will. It's late. It's late. I know. It's late for you guys? Yeah, I'm on I'm on West Coast time right now. So it's actually pretty early for me. You're going on one hour sleep.
Starting point is 00:00:59 Hour and a half. Hour and a half. Give or take intro us., welcome back to Boy Story. Nice. Part one. Is it? We'll see. A new untold dad.
Starting point is 00:01:14 That's pretty good. A new untold dad. Part one or part two, you don't really know. You don't really know what you're gonna get. I think we're gonna change the name of our podcast. I think we should all change the names. What are you gonna change yours to? I don't know, but they can't sell it worth a lick.
Starting point is 00:01:27 Cause of the anus thing? No, probably cause it's bad. And that plays a big factor. But I feel like it's also just like a death knell to change the name of the podcast four years in. Yeah, yeah. Has there been any big podcasts that have done that? Like already have a following that have changed the name
Starting point is 00:01:47 Contact detrimental hometown the Adam Friedman show, but I think they did they end that yeah, it's over now I saw they did that reunion episode was that real yeah, I Listened to the reunion. It was great. It's very funny. It was very funny. You know what I realized is that that You're the boy, he's the son, and I'm the dad. Or you might actually even be the dad. You're about to be an actual dad. You're the dad for sure. But I might be the boy. No, you're the son. You're the boy.
Starting point is 00:02:21 You're the dad. And he's the boy. How would you not be the dad? I'm listening. And you're the son. Am I the boy. You're the dad and he's the boy How would you not be the dad listening and you're the son am I okay? I could argue with or you're the dad on the dad and he's the boy Maybe it's that's what the new name should be dad dad boy dad boy dad Dad boy dad yeah, we just change it to pretty much the same name two dads and a boy dad dad boy boy I think I just want to take a noun just pick out a random noun and that's the name of the pod Simple yeah, what are you thinking? I don't know give me a noun you give me a noun That's two now oh what the hell
Starting point is 00:02:58 It's hyphenated. I guess what this yeah hyphenated. It's fine. Yeah, that's not bad FG. It was fine until they printed out at the Chicago office all the letters. They have the names of the podcast outside of the studio now. Just as anus on the wall. And we had an all hands meeting
Starting point is 00:03:17 where sales could go in and hop in any studio they wanted. And they just walked right past ours every time. And they were doing this collectible card game where you could get a card of like each show. And that's how like got them into the studio and they moved hours to the Wilcompton Museum in the bathroom. Oh yeah. All right. I have a very important question that I spent a long time thinking about and I want everyone to answer this individually, but it is imperative that each of you answers this honestly and thoughtfully. Okay. Such a good prompt. Okay. You have to answer this honestly. We'll all answer it honestly, depending on what the
Starting point is 00:03:56 question is. Yeah. And without being influenced by other people's answers. Well, that's a big ask. Maybe can we write our answers down or something? Well, no, because I want to hear everyone's reasons and I think it will help. Okay. The question is this. Let's say that you guys had been alive as, I don't know, let's say like 35 year old men
Starting point is 00:04:21 in 1852. Okay. okay, in America. So like senior citizens. In 1852. Yeah, like at the end of our lives. Yeah, right. In a state, like on the border of the north and the south. Okay? Yeah, I would. So, Kentucky.
Starting point is 00:04:46 Yeah. Kentucky or Virginia maybe, although those are pretty, I don't know. Do you think, like knowing what you know now and being, and having the moral compasses that you have now, do you think that you guys would have, if you'd had slaves, freed them, or not had slaves fought for abolition,
Starting point is 00:05:14 like what would your stance have been regarding slavery at that time? Do you think there's ever anyone that was so racist that they freed them just out of frustration? Get the fuck out of here! I can't stand the sight of you! I'll do it myself! They hate him so much! They can't even do a good job at this!
Starting point is 00:05:34 I'll show them how it's done. Never send a slave to pick cotton away. I gotta do it yourself! Pick like a white man. Yeah, he's so racist that he freed his slaves. Because the reason I can't even see you in my house. I'll be the first to say that I would free them. This is my point.
Starting point is 00:05:54 I would have never had them. Everybody says I would have. I mean, there are some chores I hate doing. Like the dishes. Dishes. Making my bed, putting my socks on in the morning. I would have them for sure. I definitely have them. I got another I got another tear for you.
Starting point is 00:06:11 Just to add this in, would you theoretically have let your house be a stop on the Underground Railroad where you're now putting yourself at actual risk? No, I'm a huge pussy. No, not a million years. Yeah. Why did what was happening to them? It's not like in Germany you were housing Jews where they would kill the Germans who were housing the Jews.
Starting point is 00:06:29 If you were stopping the Underground Railroad, I don't think you'd get in trouble. I think they did. By whom? And murder you. I think like it was it was like aiding in the theft of property. It was like that was slaves were considered property.
Starting point is 00:06:43 And constables and police or whatever It was like that was slaves were considered property and Constables and police or whatever would if they found out that you'd hollowed out a nook behind your bookshelf Just like the Confederacy knocking on my door cuz they heard a muffled subwoofer. Yeah, it's not my Sneakers squeaking on hardwood? I think there were penalties for it. There had to have been. The Wild Bill's family did it. But the Klan hadn't really come up yet. I guess the Klan would have...
Starting point is 00:07:14 The Klan came in, they were more at the end of the Civil War and then in the years after. That was when the Klan came up to basically stop... So you're saying with our current moral compass, would we have slaves? I guess my question is this, right? It's hard to know. It's so easy for us to say... Everyone wants to say, like, given who I am and what I know, I would have definitely either not had slaves, I would have freed the slaves if I'd had them for some reason, and I would
Starting point is 00:07:42 have helped slaves escape. Right? But you also then have to think questions like, well, I'm a good businessman. And I know myself in the way that I view hard work and labor and tilling the fields and running a farm, whatever, like all these things, and given the way that you are now. No one's honest enough to say that they would just try to be cool with them. Yeah. That they would try to impress them
Starting point is 00:08:14 by changing their accent a little bit. Let me ask you this, do you think there's something we're doing right now that in a hundred years we'll be frowned upon? I think I have. Because like I had Xbox Live when it first came out and then I did things that I wouldn't do now. I said things that I wouldn't say now.
Starting point is 00:08:29 Right. Yeah. I screamed things that I wouldn't say now. I think that there are things that you can know about yourself in terms of empathy that might help inform your decision on that. But if you're instilled since birth that these people aren't human on the same level you are. But there were still Silled since birth that these people aren't human, on the same level you are. But there were still Southerners that were abolitionists.
Starting point is 00:08:48 I think there's two things now that are the same. One of them I think is genuinely the slaughter and eating of meat that like in years could be looked at as like a wildly, especially factory farming, could be looked at as like a wildly inhumane thing. How could they ever have done that? How could they ever, and like I would never have eaten meat. I would have definitely been if there's alternate protein sources or there's even people who
Starting point is 00:09:11 are like, I'll never have cloned meat. I'd never eat cloned meat. And it's like, why would you not eat cloned meat is like, avoid factory farming. And I guess people love hunting. And then the other thing I think is the ownership of robots. I think that like sentient sentience of robots. I think that like in in like 500 years we might look back at the show BattleBots as like Mandingo fights of young robots. Wow, what a great take.
Starting point is 00:09:41 Like we're fighting the young robots against one another and they're like for sport. And we're just like loving it. And they might, you know, have some. Because I think there's already robots who are like, I don't want to do the work. Yeah, it's a slippery slope. Are there, though, like our robots getting that? Like, I know you always hear the the worries of like all the robots. They're going to they're going to they're going to gain their own.
Starting point is 00:10:08 I don't know, they're going to they're gonna they're gonna they're gonna gain their own I don't know they're gonna they're gonna sentience yeah they're gonna start having their own emotions and feelings and I don't want to do the dishes yeah that's pretty good their own emotions you think though why would we program emotions in that's what I don't are we programmed by a much higher technology that we're unaware of could be that nicotine is doing crazy Know that was like six milligrams. What about the extensive like winning a goldfish at a as at a carnival? That's gotta be pets are an interesting comp. Yeah, but that one I think is kind of already But yeah, like I mean, but you're giving a goldfish to it like a Ten-year-old nine-year-old and you know that thing is going to have the worst imaginable life ever. Well, it's gonna die within the next 10 hours.
Starting point is 00:10:48 Yeah. I got a goldfish at a carnival or at a fair once, the Marshfield Fair in Massachusetts, and we brought it back. I went with like four of my friends when I was really young. We brought it back to his house and it died that night. Yeah. Yeah. But that's not worse than-
Starting point is 00:11:01 We woke up the next morning and his dad was like, yeah, dude, I jumped out of the water and just like landed on the ground. It's just a fish Yeah, all right guys quick teeny tiny break to talk about game time They don't make it easy to buy concert tickets these days you got to sign up for the pre-sale get in the queue And then by the time you're through Kyle the best seats. They're gone It's a damn shame best seats, they're gone. It's a damn shame.
Starting point is 00:11:24 Not with Game Time. Not with Game Time, especially with the Game Time picks feature. It makes it easier than ever to find great deals at the seats you want. You just pull up your chosen event, you turn on the GT picks setting at the top of the screen and browse the best local Game Time picks deals
Starting point is 00:11:37 near you on the Game Time app homepage. I was looking at tickets for Shane Gillis in London. That's where it is. And I saw an amazing Game Time picks deal for great seats. Only had a shockingly low price. Yeah, I was shocked too. Were you? That's fantastic. And then last second, go to England.
Starting point is 00:12:00 Yeah, why not? You guys at home can take the guesswork out of buying tickets with Game Time. Download the Game Time app, create an account, use code UNTOLD, U-N-T-O-L-D, for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. Again, create an account and redeem code UNTOLD for $20 off. Download the Game Time app today. What time is it? Game Time. Game Time. Nice. All right. Another break to talk about kickoff. K-I-K-O-F-F. No matter how fast time seems to be
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Starting point is 00:13:13 at getkickoff.com. I must sign up via kickoff.com to activate offer. Offer applies to new customers first month only. Subject to approval, offer subject to change. Terms and conditions may apply. Point stat based on Equifax Vantage Score 3.0 changes for Kickoff users starting first month only subject to approval offer subject to change terms and conditions may apply point stat based on equifax vantage score 3.0 changes for kickoff users starting under 600 who made their first on-time payment between january 2021 and march 2024 payment and credit activity outside of kickoff can have an impact on your credit individual results may vary kyle this ad copy says it can be r-rated So we're talking about some fucking bird dogs. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Wear them with your fucking cock out and your bare ass.
Starting point is 00:13:49 Uh huh. And dressing can be tricky as hell for fucking dudes. Uh huh. People so often dress too fucking formal or too fucking informal. Whether it's like a hoodie, nah, you're sloppy. Blazer, you're dressed for a fucking funeral. Yeah, but what about a fucking. Something in between. What about like a hoodie, no, you're sloppy, blazer, you're dressed for a fucking funeral. Yeah, but what about a fucking, something in between.
Starting point is 00:14:07 What about like a, what about a quarter zip? I didn't know how to put the word cunt into that. Fucking, yeah, the fucking Bird Dogs classic quarter zips are fucking perfect. Yeah. You're looking for something in between. It's good for you. Good for a date, good for the office,
Starting point is 00:14:24 it's good for everything. If you're going to the office, you're like, I wanna go to a movie date. Good for the office. It's good for everything. If you're going to the office, you're like, I want to go to a movie afterwards. You're already in comfy clothes. Yeah. Perfect for a date, for a banquet, for a golf outing with somebody that you're just friends with or somebody that you're trying to impress, maybe a networking opportunity.
Starting point is 00:14:37 Bird Dogs has it all. It is the perfect balance of comfort, quality and style. For a limited time, our listeners get a free hat with any order using code untold at birddogs.com. Get this hat completely free when you use code untold at birddogs.com. Support our show and let them know we sent you. That's not worse than eating a fish though.
Starting point is 00:14:59 No, I kind of disagree about the- I would rather be killed and eaten than kept in a fucking face Nothing nothing will be worse than being caught on a hook and Having to fight for your life and then being wheeled in against your will And being held up in front of a camera as I think feel like the worst to look at Right isn't veal the one where they don't even let them stand? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:27 What are we staring at each other for? I mean, there's some that are like, all is- That's what I do. What, you don't let people, oh, a fish? Cause I hold the fish up in front of the camera. You let it go though. I let it go, great release. What were you about to disagree with?
Starting point is 00:15:41 Me? Yeah. Oh, I wasn't disagreeing with, oh, oh, oh, I was gonna say, I don't know if I agree necessarily with the I agree with the factory farming thing for sure. But I don't know if I agree with the eating meat in general. Stop eating meat. I think you need. So why not clone the meat? cloning the meat I get? Yeah, that makes sense. I'm on anti clone. Yeah, I think
Starting point is 00:16:03 there's a clone. There's Yeah, I think there's ecosystems of food that you need to keep. You need to keep the order so the wolves don't overtake the humans or whatever. The dolphins don't rape the people. It is tough because I feel like I love cows. Huge cow guy. I'm on rslashcow all the time. You have been for a long time. I've always been a big cow guy. I'm on r slash cow all the time. Yeah. You have been for a long time. Yeah, I've always been a big cow guy.
Starting point is 00:16:27 I follow a lot of cow Instagram accounts. Can I just say that my dad's favorite saying when he's driving and there's a slow car in front of him, his favorite saying in the world. What? Move it or milk it. Whoa, I've never heard that. He says it comes from India, where often there are cows in the streets because cows are sacred and that they cause traffic. Interesting.
Starting point is 00:16:47 Because you can't, you don't move it. Like they have to let the cows sit there. Right. Yeah, like I could definitely kill. I think I could probably, like how many chickens could you murder before you felt bad? I think the first, like snapping the neck of one I think feel a little bad.
Starting point is 00:17:04 Yeah. But like mowing down a bunch at once would would almost feel better. One is a tragedy. A million is a statistic. A million. You're just doing your job. Chickens. Yeah. Well, I got to put food on my family. I would like more comfortably detonate a 10,000. Then ring ones. Dude, if I had a if I had the choice of like hitting a button
Starting point is 00:17:29 and drowning a thousand chickens or like stomping one out, I'm killing a thousand. I would. Yeah, I don't know about drown, but I would kill a thousand. I would kill with one press. I would rather kill a thousand chickens than have to kill one cow by myself. Well, that's how you value life. Is that a size thing? I think it is a size thing. Well chickens are dumb as fuck and cows are like...
Starting point is 00:17:50 Chickens are dumb, cows are cool. Cows have friends which I think is really interesting. They like music. Yeah. They like bouncy balls. They like frolic. But it's also more impressive to take down something bigger. Like oh wow you killed a chicken. I just took down a Definitely. I definitely agree with that. You know what it is? It's also, I think cows blink cows blink. It's a matter of blinking is a big thing. Yeah. And they like lick their lips. I think the closer they are to humans. Yeah. Yeah. I think like,
Starting point is 00:18:19 it might be a matter of lips. It could be because I'm fine with fish and birds. Yeah, definitely. I think the sexiness of the eyes is a big part of it for me. You need to see the whites. You could argue that cows have alluring eyes. Big, big long lashes. Yeah. Yeah. Lashes, lashes. That's a big part of it. But it is it is interesting because I've like I've killed fish and even when I've
Starting point is 00:18:41 killed those fish and I know like this is like people eat fish This is how the every fish that I've ever ate has been has died like this I was very naive and this is probably embarrassing to say I didn't know fish had regular blood Oh, yeah, cuz like you had to club that one in the back of a boat. Yeah, and it kept on bleeding They don't stop. I don't like unlimited blood. What I did not like clubbing unlimited blood. What? I did not like clubbing a fish. Yeah. And we filmed it in slow-mo. You guys think that's- You're right about the fish hook going through the mouth and-
Starting point is 00:19:09 That's fucked up. Being pulled in against its might for minutes and minutes. That would be- It gets the worst pain ever and then it just can't breathe. Then you're like, please God kill me. Please, anything to end this torment. And then they're like, there you go. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:24 Look at him, he I can still swim. He's like, what? I have to go back and face this potential again? Yeah, it is definitely, like with how much I love fishing. And you pose with it as it's struggling to try to, you're on one knee as it's screaming, I can't breathe. Yeah, well, what do you do?
Starting point is 00:19:42 What you do is, I can tell you try to, you try what do you do? What you do is ideally you try to, you try to keep it in the water as long as you can and let it catch its breath before you take the photo. You keep it in the net in the water and give it a minute. And then you, I only had, the fish that I caught this week, and I only, people get mad with anything with trout, but they were like, I only had the fish.
Starting point is 00:20:02 People get mad with anything with trout? Like anyone that fishes for trout, there's a million things that, like I only had the fish. People get mad with anything with trout. Like anyone that fishes for trout, there's like, there's a million things that you can do to help the fish. Like you're supposed to like wet your hands before you touch the fish, which I did. I do that every time. Cause if you like remove, if you don't wet your hands
Starting point is 00:20:16 before you hold the trout, you remove, it's like protective, you remove the slime. So at what point do you just not fish? Which is what it's immune system. I don't know. Not fishing is the best thing for the trout. I think the answer is you fish, but you just not fish? I don't know. No, I think fishing is the best thing for the trout. I think the answer is you fish, but you just don't take a photo of the fish
Starting point is 00:20:29 when you catch it. Disagree. Because that's like the most fun part. Yeah, but that's the part that serves you and does no good for the fish. Yeah, but the taking care of the fish, like that fish that I caught. What if it raises awareness? I'm like, wow, that's a beautiful fish. I think that for every second that a fish is held aloft out of the water, it's screaming and it feels like it's being dipped in hot oil.
Starting point is 00:20:52 And weren't we lied to about how the memory of a fish is not like, they feel pain, tremendous pain, maybe even worse. Trout have a far longer memory than goldfish. Goldfish are very quick like that. And that's why we give them to kids. Correct. Fish have memory but I don't think getting caught as a fish doesn't hurt
Starting point is 00:21:11 how you would think it would like as a human. It's not like what did I just bite into? I think it's more like the fact that all of a sudden you're like pretty much tied to a leash. You're comparing the hook through their fucking jawbone to a leash? Like it's like, through their fucking jawbone to a leash? Like it's like, I think the reason that they're freaking out is because they were like, well, I was just swimming
Starting point is 00:21:29 and all of a sudden I can't go backwards. I don't know if I agree with fishing. I think as long as a jackass member has done it, I'm cool with doing that to an animal. That's fair. I was just gonna say, like imagine if you went to get your cheek pierced at Spencer's, not Spencer's, Clare's in the mall. And while you were sitting on that chair, they put the to get your cheek pierced at Spencer's, not Spencer's, Claire's in the mall.
Starting point is 00:21:45 And while you were sitting on that chair, they put the hook through your cheek. And then all of a sudden someone, you know, in sports authorities started pulling you down the hall. And then they dunk you under water too, where you can't breathe. And everybody's like, Oh my God, you don't know where you're being taken. You don't even know where you're being taken. You're fighting. You're trying to get back. You're like, I don't know, no, it's where I want to be.
Starting point is 00:22:07 And then, you know, some of them. You end up in a tub of water. Yeah. Completely encased. Right, that is exactly it. For 10 minutes. Right. But we all know me.
Starting point is 00:22:17 I'm with Kyle, the jackass theory. They do it, I'll do it to an animal. Yeah, that's why I only kill animals with a skateboard to their chins. I've just been putting them in shopping carts and pushing them into a bush. Yeah, I kill my chickens by putting a toy car in their ass Yeah, I put a gas mask on a cow's mouth and fart into it until they die It's the only humane way to ingest meat. Yes, we should have a farm. That's only killed with jackass methods We flatten this cat farm that's only killed with jackass methods. There we go. We flattened this horse's penis.
Starting point is 00:22:48 We made its penis two dimensional. Until it died. Pontius was able to handle it, so we're good. Yeah, it is kind of a weird one because especially fly fishing and trout, the people are so obsessed with protecting the trout. Like, don't fish here if the fish are spawning. Like, use barbless hooks, like all that shit. But I guess at the end of the day,
Starting point is 00:23:09 like, yeah, the best thing to do is just don't fish. But then you just see other animals killing other animals by any means necessary. That's the thing too. Wait, so then the answer is, if there is an invasive species or there needs to be some sort of population control in order for the ecosystems to work properly,
Starting point is 00:23:25 then you can make the argument you should do that. If lions could use guns, they would. Yeah. I was very compelled by the hunting argument that I heard in South Africa when I was there about how in Kenya, hunting of any kind is illegal. And in the Maasai Mara, what happens is elephants kind of run through everything and they leave the reserve and
Starting point is 00:23:46 they go into the neighboring farmlands where farmers are trying to subsist on crops and things like that. The elephants knock their fucking trees down that they are growing and then the farmers can't make money. So then they poison their own trees to kill the elephants in order to live. And there's the, whereas in South Africa, they issue tags for a certain number of like rhinos and I think elephants and lions and things like that. And I guess there's more of a symbiosis between hunter and animal.
Starting point is 00:24:19 Yeah, see that's tough though is like, even like hunting, like I would definitely go, I could definitely go like duck hunting yeah yeah like duck hunting like I could shoot like any I could shoot birds that that wouldn't really bother me you know in Argentina you can go shoot doves and you can bag 2 000 or more a day about this on we talked about so many thousands no I think it was more you can think it was like 4 000 an hour you can you just shoot in shooting this guy, you're going to hit four. Yeah. But where's the fun in that? There's no fun.
Starting point is 00:24:48 Like, didn't you say you had a friend or you met someone that did it? I've gone bird hunting. No, you met someone that did the dove hunting. Yeah. And you said they caught you said they killed like 12,000 over the course of an hour. It's something insane. It's something. Five of them shooting.
Starting point is 00:25:00 So that doesn't even take skill. No, it reminds you of the old buffalo hunts. Right, just run him off a cliff. Or he would just kill 58 buffalo in a ring in five minutes. That's like us fishing in a stock pond. As the Cherokee tears filled the journals. You're not catching 12,000. But they're trapped in one place. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:21 And they're way easier to catch. Well, I don't fish in stock ponds. I didn't. Why are you? I didn't say anything about you at all. You're looking at me like you're the Fisher. You're looking at me. You're the person who made the whole personality around fishing. Definitely not my whole personality. I think what we've learned here is that one third of your entire. It's really I mean, it's yeah, one third is fishing fishing one-third is video games one-third is comedy football
Starting point is 00:25:47 for fourths I am football. I am football. No, I think yours on a bigger. I think those other three are worth, you know 30 percent each and then 10 percent. It's football. You're just like trying to do football to impress Brandon Walker I know I would say I probably like football more than, like I like watching football more than most of those things. No. You're actually phenomenally lucky to be able to break down your interests because I don't think I could pick a percentage of anything that I like.
Starting point is 00:26:19 That's a good take. Thanks. There is a simplicity to Harry's pie chart. Yeah. That almost feels peaceful. Mine's tavern cut just like a billion different things and it's not good. It's not bad though. But I couldn't really name you five things I like.
Starting point is 00:26:36 Video games? Enough, yeah. Now I do, but that was like so new. I'm so new to that. It'll never go away though. You don't think? Ever. Okay. My number one thing that gives me away though. You don't think? Ever. Okay.
Starting point is 00:26:45 My number one thing, my number one thing that gives me happiness in all of the world, swimming. What? Being submerged in water and swimming. That's not even a top 200 for me. Casually, recreationally, for sports, for exercise. Not exercise, no, no. Jumping in the ocean on a hot day.
Starting point is 00:27:01 Really? Not even top 200. But, you know, diving under a wave. Being underwater for me is my favorite thing in the world. day. Really? Not even talking about the 100s. But you know, diving under a wave. Being underwater for me is my favorite thing in the world. I like being walloped by waves. But I don't like being wet. I don't feel, it's the one time in my life where I feel devoid of any distractions or
Starting point is 00:27:19 preoccupations or- Swimming. Yeah. I thought you were going to say golf. My favorite thing is trying to do as much as much underwater as I can how many lengths of the pool I think I would enjoy swimming a lot more if I had a good body but then you swim and get a good body yeah but I don't want to do that right that's their that's crazy I'm not gonna go I'm not gonna work out but swimmers bodies
Starting point is 00:27:43 aren't my favorite bodies on men. Big shoulders. What's your favorite body on men? Probably running back. Running back body, this is a wide mass. Maybe wide receiver. Running back, running back. Did you see that Ohio State running back, Quinchon Judkins?
Starting point is 00:27:55 His body's incredible. I've seen him on DraftKings. KB, you're kind of built like a running back. Yeah, I want my legs to be a lot thicker. Your legs would have to get a little thicker. I like- What about Brad Pitt Fight Club? See, it's too scrappy. It's a little too scrappy for me. I don't mind that that you would turn it down
Starting point is 00:28:10 I don't mind that lean athleticism, but I think that later on like him and Troy I liked that a little bit more. Yeah, I still don't think he was too beefy in that. I don't think he was ridiculous Whereas you know Chris Hemsworth in Thor one, well too beefy for me. Yeah, beautiful physique. Beautiful. Kyle, gymnast. Gymnast. Oh, you were you saying me for your idea?
Starting point is 00:28:35 Yeah, yeah, you're mine. Gymnast is a good one. Their arms look like protractors. Yeah, gymnast is like kind of like soccer player, but they're athletic. What's your ideal man facially? That's a good question Brad Pitt and Fight Club, that's mine It pits up there. I think I think then then I would go Chris Hemsworth. I think his face is perfect
Starting point is 00:29:05 God, yeah. Also. Yeah What? Stunning. Yeah. Mine's George Lopez. I think I see more attractive dudes than women, or I'm gay. Yeah, I mean, a lot of the gymnasts are gay, deep down. The male gymnasts? Yeah. I used to write about the male gymnast team at Penn State. That was like my beat for a while, and so I go to every practice and they're all gay. So they're like ripped thespians. Incredibly. Yeah, they really are. But they lean into that like flamboyance. I don't know if they're actually gay. I think they have perfect bodies. Right. And
Starting point is 00:29:35 like the athleticism they do is, I think is the coolest thing in sports. Really? If you think about it. Yeah, to make, like doing three flips. It is pretty sick. The most incredible feats of strength. I need a score to enjoy something. They have scores in gymnastics. Not judge based. Yeah, not a nine at a 10.
Starting point is 00:29:54 There is scores. I don't wanna feel like I'm watching a Dave's piece of reviews. I don't like that one. It's like 9.542 and somebody's eye did that. Yeah. I don't think it is eye. I think it's based on, there's like certain moves that are worth a certain amount of points.
Starting point is 00:30:06 And there's like, Is that how it's done? A peak of a number of points that you can get for a certain routine. And it's, if you hit every single thing, you get to the peak of it. They started a number based on the routine's difficulty. Nothing is subjective though.
Starting point is 00:30:17 And then they subtract off. No, it's not like a pizza score. Okay, okay. See, I didn't know that. I thought it was all. So what is diving? How gracefully they landed. Is that all judging?
Starting point is 00:30:24 Diving I all judging pretty sick Draft Kings Kyle Yeah, use it a lot. I gotta keep moving it around on my home screen because I keep eroding the place where it is with my thumb Yeah, when it's so often. Yeah, the oils are having a reaction to the glass Yep, but um, what can't we say about it? But Yeah, you're right Yeah, you're right. Yeah, you're right. But when it comes to college basketball, this March mania,
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Starting point is 00:33:10 Stella Blue Coffee's next best selling mug design. Stella Blue Coffee Great Purpose Better Coffee You do. High diving is insane. We have the bravest fuck. Those are the gayest of the gay though. The top divers are 11 year old Chinese girls. of the gay though the top. How do you think what do you like old Chinese girls?
Starting point is 00:33:26 Yeah, they're like winning the Olympics What do you think it's like getting into something like that where it's like all like most of the dudes that do it are gay Yeah, how do you tell your dad you want to start diving gymnast? Yeah, but I'm not you like I promise I'm not it could be a gay, but then you just end up You'll end up it might be the act of diving that turns you gay I talked to a dude this weekend after my shows in Seattle who was a flight attendant And he was probably around my age and he said that it's awesome Yeah, why does he mops up or what said? It's just him
Starting point is 00:33:58 It'll be him like two old ladies and a gay dude And he said they just like all just like shoot the shit the entire day and just like bring people food yeah what percentage of he had to tell you that but I was like I was like what's it like cuz he said he said he literally is like he's like I think he said he's worked with like a straight dude on a plane like once ever I believe he likes it but being confined to the narrowness of an airplane and serving people food isn't like a pleasurable day no no sure there's some there's some perks I wouldn't I don't think I'd like of an airplane and serving people food isn't like a pleasurable day. No, no. But I'm sure there's some there's some perks.
Starting point is 00:34:27 I wouldn't. I don't think I'd like it because I don't like flying so much as to want my office to be an airplane. If you're from a one horse town, it's probably incredible. Yeah. If you're if you like, haven't been able to see the world. Wasn't Caitlin Walker like she was a small town She was like a very small airline flight. Oh, really? I didn't know that cuz Brandon worked at that airport to her She was that like I think she was at like an Arizona one
Starting point is 00:34:52 Oh interesting and it was only like Arizona, Nevada, Texas or something. I'm talking on my ass But was like some sort of a regional Wasn't Brandon one of the dudes with the glow stick? Yeah, he was up, he worked at an airport on 9-11. Yeah, like on the actual 9-11. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As opposed to the... The anniversary that we so famously celebrate every year. Yeah, but in which case, who gives a shit?
Starting point is 00:35:17 Wow. If Brandon worked, Walker was... You don't think that was a tough day at the airport? Yeah, but I... I bet you that was probably the safest day at the airport ever. Yeah, but I mean, if you're working at the airport, it's probably right. What was a safer day at the airport? Yeah, but I bet you that was probably the safest day at the airport ever Yeah, but I mean if you're working at the airport, what was a safer day at the airport? 9-eleven-02 or 9-12-01 9-eleven-02 is like a little tense. Yeah
Starting point is 00:35:34 but like 9-eleven-02 cuz 9-eleven- 9-12-01 they probably were like It's probably probably not a lot had changed. Well that or they're like, there's no way it happens back to back. Yeah. No, they, they shut down interested in nine 1201. Yeah. They shut all the, they were all shut down.
Starting point is 00:35:54 All the, all the airports were shut down that day. Yeah. So the first day it was back, that's the day, the first day they opened up air travel again, that's the day. Well, then wouldn't like what that'd be a cool movie when air travel like so if 9-eleven happens in all air travel shuts down On 9-12 if was it was still shut down you're saying yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm There was all flights were grounded for for multiple days. Yeah, there are some people like stuck in Canada for a while, right? I think so. I'll look this up. What about like like because I know Tom Brady's first start in the NFL
Starting point is 00:36:26 I guess that was they're coming from New England. So they just drove Didn't the plane come from Boston? Yeah, but they his first start in the NFL. I think was like nine What is like first starts first time playing was like nine thirteen the people that worked at TSA at that Boston Airport Do you think like? Yeah, they had to have quit right? Yeah, I don't know because it wasn't really on them It was just TSA wasn't what didn't have the rules. Yeah So like those like they didn't know what was gonna like they were two guys had boarding passes and passports and they boarded the plane Yeah
Starting point is 00:36:59 Those guys were fine. They did nothing wrong. Well at the time I followed the rules Yeah, I watched a show have yours to see I've ever seen that show on Hulu the looming tower Those guys were fine. They did nothing wrong. Well, at the time they had it. They followed the rules. At the time. I watched a show. Have you ever seen that show on Hulu, the looming tower? No. I read the book. Phenomenal show. And I did watch a lot of the show. The show's great. Very good. But it is pretty crazy. I always talk about the one thing that
Starting point is 00:37:18 always stuck with me was the dudes that, like, they sent all the terrorists down to, like, train to do like flight classes in Tampa or something in Tampa and I think maybe in Maine right that's where they started right it came through Maine they came through Maine unfortunately are the school still open oh I have no idea but apparently what they did the flight simulator right yeah and uh the terror one of the terrorists was like in the middle of the class and he was in he was in the flight simulant Simulator, they should have never accepted a terrorist into that school. No, they should have known. Yeah I'm a terrorist Say three things about you
Starting point is 00:38:00 He left but before they got to they were beginning the landing procedure. Oh really? That's a horrible time. He took off. I've learned all I need to know. Yeah, and they were, and like the FBI knew that. Oh wow. Yeah. Yeah, that's one of the biggest red flags imaginable.
Starting point is 00:38:19 I just need to know how to take it off on a plane. Well, you know what they say. What do they say? Hindsight is 9-11. It's a good episode title. That's a good ass title. All right. What would 9-11 vision be? Everyone, everyone we did that.
Starting point is 00:38:36 Really good. I have 9-11 vision. You're just constantly screaming. Remember when we did the case race? You see at nine feet what most people see at 11 feet. You see the plane in Boston Yeah, yeah Remember when we did the case race and KB showed up with that twin towers like
Starting point is 00:38:54 Massive button-up shirt that was not only the and you were and big cats that you couldn't wear it and you were fear Yeah, you got censored. You know, because I remember the towers were not a flame on this shirt. But it was the biggest. We were like, what's about that? I think I was like, you can't wear that. But weren't you? Didn't you have skull face paint? I had skull face, but that was unrelated.
Starting point is 00:39:18 And you also didn't you walk for like two hours through the rain to buy a sprint? I guess I saw it on the Instagram page. And you said, hold this. It was like 200 some bucks. And it was like an eight XL. I got to go. I got escort into the back to get the. How much did you spend on it?
Starting point is 00:39:35 It was to I think it was like two hundred dollars. Oh, my God. And then have you seen it since? I don't know what I did with it. Salvation Army. But that's one of those ones, you can't wear that shirt twice. That's a one time wear piece.
Starting point is 00:39:48 Zero at most. Yeah, it's a zero to one piece. I have a lot of pieces like that. It's a great piece for like a homeless dude to just be walking around in. That would be something to look at. That is something we might look back in like 100 years, like how we treat or don't treat homeless people.
Starting point is 00:40:05 We kind of just ignore them and let them live a life of complete misery. Yeah. Wow. Pretty much. Some people are lying and some people are using it for drugs, but for the most part, maybe we could be nicer to homeless people. I'm using it for drugs. What?
Starting point is 00:40:21 What? The money. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah, creative. What what the money? Yeah? Dude the homeless people in the in like Seattle and Oregon are a Different type of homeless that's man evolved because they don't need food or water now, and they're active yeah They have energy they will get I had a dude come up to me yesterday I was trying to I was yesterday I I drove from Seattle to Oregon, checked into my hotel, slept for one hour,
Starting point is 00:40:46 and then checked out of the hotel and went to the show. But I had to put everything, I had all my fishing shit in the car and I had to get it into my suitcase. And I was doing it on the side of the road. And this homeless dude comes up to me and goes, you like guns? Whoa.
Starting point is 00:41:00 And I was like, what? And he was like, because I was like, they don't look like they're homeless because everyone out there dresses. You mean they're white? No, they're all white. That's a crazy thing to say. Like a homeless dude will walk up to you
Starting point is 00:41:12 and he's got like an RDI rain jacket on and you're like, where the fuck did you even, where did you get them? Yeah, it's the same in Maine, by the way. They all look like they're on their way to rock climb. Exactly, yeah. The man didn't even know Maine had them. Yeah, this dude comes up to me, he's like,
Starting point is 00:41:23 you like guns? And I was like, what? And like you like you like guns and I was like what and he's like like firearms And I was like no and he's like well we got him I could get I could get you some and I was like yeah I'm all set. Why'd you just give me your hotel room for a little bit? You only use it for an hour I know 23 hours. I'm gonna bust him with a hotel room. Yeah, bring his guns in there What do you mean? They're like active they are more round. No, it's methamphetamine though. That's part of the community that they play like in. They blend in with the community There's a homeless rec league. Yeah Like they're they're they're part of the people like I made a couple jokes last night at the at the Portland show I made a couple jokes about the homeless people that worked and then I made another one later and it was clear they were like
Starting point is 00:42:02 All right enough. Yeah, they're like we get like we're home Well, do you want to say what you said? Or do you want to wait till you go to another shitty city? Probably I'll just save it for another shitty city Yeah, Austin thing. Oh Austin. I had an uber like I was a fights homeless uber homeless uber driver See like the cardboard sign So where do you live you're looking yeah, you're in my bed get out of my bed we were No, no fights asked to Stop at a 7-eleven
Starting point is 00:42:40 To get some nicotine and the uber driver our Uber driver was drunk as fuck by the way. Dang. Yeah, and cause we were at a brewery and she was already there. So I think she clocked in and just drove us home. That's crazy. Hammered, but she was like, okay, I've stopped at the 7-Eleven
Starting point is 00:42:55 before that guy will lunge at you, but he'll never touch you. And so we walked in and this guy was like lunging at us. But it's just like, I think they've accepted. Yeah, yeah. Austin was shocking Austin's pretty fucked up that one area like right downtown is just like it's crazy. Oh, I Have another question wait. I have one more we were I one more thing about the homeless
Starting point is 00:43:17 I was also with fights We were in Times Square filming the other day and we were, everyone has the signs that say like, gonna be honest, like need money for pot. Yeah, those guys are hilarious. We were saying, we were like, that one's been a little overdone. Yeah. It's time to move on. Like that went viral like once.
Starting point is 00:43:34 Like who am I kidding? I need a hooker. Yeah. So it went viral like they don't know that. Yeah. We've seen that one buddy. There's the stale material. Repost. We heard that. Stolen.
Starting point is 00:43:46 Forever it was like, need money for food, need money for family. And now every single homeless person is just like, I'm going to have a couple beers tonight. Not going to lie. Could use some money. I've been jonesing for a steak. And it's like, finally somebody that shoots it to us straight. I'm going to be honest, need money because the open policy of immigration here in New York City has displaced me
Starting point is 00:44:10 from the places I typically sleep, and now I actually need to stay at a two-star hotel. And I lost my bed to the Venezuelans, thanks Joe Biden. God fucking damn it, yeah. Oh, that's very up-to-date sign, wow. Wow, okay. Very modern. Here's three dollars. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's very up-to-date sign. Wow. Okay. Very modern.
Starting point is 00:44:26 Here's three dollars. Weirdly modern. I was gonna say, if you guys were in a 7-Eleven and you saw a robbery taking place, and it wasn't a violent one, so it was just like someone looting, right? They just like were stuffed a bunch of shit in their backpack. They didn't pull a gun on anyone Would you try to stop them? No?
Starting point is 00:44:53 Hiding in the fucking beer beer fridge I absolutely would employees wouldn't try to stop them dude What oh By me do you guys have the citizen app on your phone? Yeah, I used to I used to it is so fun You got the War. What? You got the 7-Eleven War. Oh, by me? Do you guys have the Citizen app on your phone? Yeah, no. I used to. I used to. It is so fun.
Starting point is 00:45:10 I tried to get into New York, and I wasn't getting nearly enough interesting alerts, and I just deleted it. Dude, I got a VPN so I could change my location to China just to see the gruesomeness that's happening. But is there a gruesomeness in China? It's just like people swallowed by machines. There's just like 4,000 dead because of loose semi-tire.
Starting point is 00:45:28 And then there's like a video to the link. I think about the joke that you said on the Yak, like once a week. Literally, I was one of the funniest jokes I've ever heard was when you said you were like, anytime you see a video that's in China that's from a bird's eye view. A China top down is that. You know you're going to see somebody die in a one of one way.
Starting point is 00:45:48 Like swallowed by an escalator. Dude, honestly, if we ever are like, like we're so afraid of war with China. We just need to go there and build escalators. Oh, yeah. It's like and then it's out of our they will find if there's a way to die, the Chinese will figure it out quick. They're an inventive, like They're an inventive people. Yeah. Every video I see of China, it's on a bus,
Starting point is 00:46:11 and you're just waiting for the bus to explode. The Chinese are some of the unluckiest people. Half a man with his organs out. Yeah. It's just like, there'll be a dude living this peaceful life, and then it'll just be like a tire bouncing down the road for three miles And it just it hits him between the eyes
Starting point is 00:46:33 But no I have I have citizen in Chicago and I got a notification that 40 teens And I was so tempted just go watch go see what was going on is such a hilarious number so many must mean 40 Yeah, it's yeah. And I was so tempted to just go watch. Go see what was going on. 40 is such a hilarious number. So many must mean 40. Yeah. It's not like many or. 40 is so 16, like 16 would be enough. Shoulder to shoulder in 7-Eleven. Yeah, it is true, though, what we were saying about how the employees wouldn't even fight back. The dudes that work at 7-Eleven, like they act like the way that they act
Starting point is 00:47:04 when like someone comes in trying to cause some, like, they act like the way that they act when, like, someone comes in trying to cause some trouble, like, they act like they get, like, you'd think that they've had guns pulled on them, like, eight times a day for the entire time they've worked at 7-Eleven. I'd love to see those guys' phone bills. They're on the phone all the time. They're always talking. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:19 But they have, dude, they have no fear. Visible earpiece, yeah. They have no fear. No, no, no. No, they've been through it all. They've been through it all. They've been through it all. Now, what about if you saw someone steal an old woman's purse? Would you run after that guy?
Starting point is 00:47:31 Is that different? No, not in New York. No. Maybe in like... I guess if I was close enough, yeah. I think I'm a bad... I think I would call the cops, but intervening, what would I do? Get shot? There's a lot of selfishness at play for my thinking as to why I would be hero
Starting point is 00:47:47 Yeah, I've always wanted to be a hero, but I also think it would help my career. Oh Do wonders yeah, I think that video would be good material. I think it's like I'd be going in like this Before I even even return the fucking handbag to the old lady I'm checking to see if all the storefronts along the way have CCTV cameras. You'd be clipping it out I'm putting pulling the clips dude. What if you look fat when you were doing it It was like a really bad angle of you. Yeah from or I didn't like my outfit that day Yeah, I'd go to quigs. Yeah Enhance my calves a little
Starting point is 00:48:24 Yeah, you do something heroic, but it's a horrible photo that they take. What a nightmare. What can you do here? Ugly man stops robbery. Can you edit out me taking some of the cash out of her purse before I hand it back to her? He must have got off with your pills. Yeah, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:48:41 I think in like, like if I was on the subway and someone and someone like robbed an old lady I think I think I'd be like what the fuck? Interesting see I would be much I don't I don't know that I would go Yeah, but you're always like within like one second of the next stop do the subway scares the shit out of me That is a spot a place where I I'm much less all you mean on the train on the train That's different if I'm on the, the risk of someone pushing me in. Oh, the platform, dude, if there was a guy behind me It might be the most dangerous place on earth.
Starting point is 00:49:12 Punching the ladies in the face. I'd be like, yeah, you do what you gotta do. Everywhere else has the partitions, right? Like the glass and it slides open along. Not the newer trains here in New York. Now they've got these like open cabin ones that just are long hallways all the way down. You've seen these?
Starting point is 00:49:24 No. It's, it, to me, I think it might be one of the worst ideas of all time. Why? The only like safe part about the subway is that you're all in, like there's like only so many people can fit in one car. There's camaraderie with the people in your car. Yeah. And now you just got one long car.
Starting point is 00:49:40 Okay. Devil's advocate. Now if someone starts acting up, you have everybody on the entire train to theoretically work with to subdue that person. Everyone on the entire train who's going to break out into insane panic. Yeah. Do you scout out the person when you're walking down the plane to see who would stop? Yeah. How long are they? I know who my buddies are. I had a situation on a flight to London. But I also know, I also know who, if the plane goes down in the ocean and we end up in a life raft, who we're eating first.
Starting point is 00:50:08 You have that too. I make sure, yeah. Very wise. Someone young and weak. I had a good old boy give me a nod because I was on a plane and some people got up to pray. And the guy in front of me turned around and he nodded at me.
Starting point is 00:50:21 Like, you ready? Holy shit. Yeah. Dude, Chappelle had structured a bit about that. He did? Yeah, about how he was like after 9-11. And he said an Arab guy got up and started saying something crazy. And Chappelle and this other black guy
Starting point is 00:50:41 looked at each other and nodded. And some other white guy next to him was like, Oh my God, they're going to do something. He's like, no, we just know we're the only two guys that aren't going to be in trouble here. Something like that. Because the guy was Arab. I can't remember the exact joke. Okay. But fuck, what was I going to say? Now you guys talk. I had another thought, but I want you had another had another question. I think I asked it. Oh, but I have this. This is interesting.
Starting point is 00:51:07 So I was doing shows in Baltimore this past weekend. And at one of the shows, I asked the question of the crowd, does anyone here work on a boat? Because, you know, it was next to the harbor. And this one guy raised his hand and I said, what do you do? And he goes, I'm a merchant engineer. He's an engineer on merchant marine ships. And I was like, oh, that's really interesting. Like, you know, what does that mean? And he goes, well, I was like, have you ever had any close calls or worrying things? He said, well,
Starting point is 00:51:38 I was actually on the last boat that crossed through the Red Sea and we were attacked by the Huthi rebels. Wow! And they attacked us with drones that had rockets on them and they fired 200 rockets at us and 196 of them were shot down by the destroyer that was accompanying us through the Red Sea, but four got through, two landed in the ocean right next to the boat, and then two hit the boat, and I had to work on the repair of the boat as we brought it through.
Starting point is 00:52:15 And that was the last ship that they let through because that the US let through. What witty joke did you make to follow that up? I don't even, well, I mean, he was answering these questions so casually and quietly. Yeah. And I was, because he was like, they shot at us. And I was like, I figured they were,
Starting point is 00:52:34 he was talking about with, I was picturing the Somali rebels. The Somali pirates have to have the worst record across any. Oh, they pull up on a canoe. Yeah. What are you going to do? So those AK-47 bullets must have glanced off the ship's hull and he was like well actually it was drones with rockets And I was like what drones with rocket? Yeah, that's crazy The whoopie are an ethnic they're in Yemen, right Yemen. Yeah, I'm funding them Iran. Okay, that makes sense Yeah, who's funding them?
Starting point is 00:53:03 us Is that true? That I don't know. He's got to dig a little deeper Okay, that makes sense. Yeah, who's funding them? us Is that true? That I don't know. He's got to dig a little deeper Iran has its own natural resources. I think it's pretty relatively wealthy country. What do you think? The Somali pirates will like see in a US oil tanker and then just like have a slingshot and be like I got this. Yeah, this is awesome. We got this right now But also in the defense of the Somali pirates like in Captain Phillips, which is what I'm like, this is us. We'll take it. We got this right now. But also, in the defense of the Somali pirates, like in Captain Phillips, which is what I'm sure we're all
Starting point is 00:53:28 referring to right now, all they had as defense was water. I was hit. They were like, turn on the hoses. Spray them. And it was like, what is that? They have guns. Pirates are fine getting wet. Yeah, like, I don't know if that's.
Starting point is 00:53:44 What if they turned around? they're like, fuck. Yeah, yeah, call it off. I'm in my clothes. Yeah, it's weirdly cold, call it off. Oh, it's freezing. My clothes are sticking to me. They should do a Pirates of the Caribbean, but for Somalia.
Starting point is 00:54:03 Like Pirates of Somalia, curse of the extra strong chat. I think it's the stuff they chew. Oh yeah. Didn't you try some of that shit? I did. Is it cot? Is that how you pronounce it? Chot, T or K-A-T.
Starting point is 00:54:19 K-H-A-T right? Is it cot or chot? I think in different countries they call it different things. But I went to a wedding in Ethiopia and we were like two miles out and the day after the wedding They're like we got some shot like we drove an hour back and found like this guy who has an incredible Shot and we all like sat around cross-legged like eat it you like eat fucking leaves that aren't salad Like you're just packing leaves into your lip and we ate it for maybe like three hours
Starting point is 00:54:43 Just all like looking at each other and nothing happened. We were just like horses chewing on it. It wasn't no not a placebo nothing. I would have convinced myself that something was happening. I would have thought myself into a panic attack. I'm way too high right now. There's nothing at all. It was a bad batch batch of cha. I think it like stops being Like psychoactive after a while, but they said it was a combination of weed Adderall and Viagra whoa well that sounds lovely that sounds amazing right it sounds like you got some bunk Yeah, I think we just got some trash
Starting point is 00:55:25 Literally he just picked up a pile of leaves and was like yeah, this is This is caught I'll be eight thousand dollars. No their money is worth nothing. Yeah, that's like 20 cents For both bushels some of the best shit. They had some pure shit. Yeah It was trash Hmm good memory to remember that it was Chot that they were getting. Chot, yeah. Chot.
Starting point is 00:55:49 I don't think that the guy who played the lead pirate in Captain Phillips has had any other, actually maybe he's had some other acting roles. You know he only got paid like 60 grand for that role? Yeah. And Tom Hanks got paid 20 million. Well. Tom Hanks is the. Is Tom Hanks. Yeah. sense, you know Dave. I know he makes more than me
Starting point is 00:56:09 Yeah, but he would be like that would be like if I don't know I mean that guy was the co-star of the movie and he never went to Epstein's Island 60 grand Like but you could legitimately count on two hands the number of people that went to see that movie because of that gal. Omo Shegban, you know, whatever was in it. It's all of his buddies from Minneapolis. They're all from Minneapolis. I don't know what his name is.
Starting point is 00:56:34 Let me look it up. They are all from Minneapolis. Yes. Oh yeah. Are they really? They all are. They're all in Minnesota. And you know where the other big pocket of them is
Starting point is 00:56:44 in the United States? Idaho? Maine. Maine? We have a huge Somali population. No, I mean you're 99% white. Every other percent is Somalian. Wow. Because they send, like they like allow people in the US, but they're like, OK, but we're going to send you to this like cold, maybe less desirable locale like Idaho or Minnesota.
Starting point is 00:57:09 They send them Martha's Vineyard recently. Well, that was in Florida. That was the governor of Florida. Sanis Sanis just was like it was immigrants, illegal immigrants. They just sent him all to bust them up. Yeah. So funny. So funny place to send. Did you see Tim Dillons ran about that? It was the funniest thing I've ever seen. Because it was like, whatever October. He was like, and now they're all in Martha's Vineyard. Don't they know that that's not peak season? They've missed the season.
Starting point is 00:57:40 I mean, being in Martha's Vineyard in the winter must be dark. Would you be offended if a Somalian refugee was like, Maine fucking sucks? Dude, I mean, I don't know. Well, so I'm bored as fuck. Portland, Maine and Lewis and Maine were huge enclaves for Somali immigrants. And it was because as we were told, that they were a very, it was like tribal oriented kind of people. They had come over as an entire village, had emigrated and originally they went to Atlanta
Starting point is 00:58:18 where the elders realized in short order that young people were immediately starting to go the wrong way and get involved in like gang activity and stuff like that. So they uprooted them from Atlanta and brought them to Maine. Okay. That's interesting. Do you think you're close to the state of Africa? Well said.
Starting point is 00:58:37 Were you living in the end of time? Yes. And you noticed? Oh my goodness, absolutely. Cause I went to school in Portland and Portland was where, and then like, dude, there was a kid at Portland High School whose name was Francis, and he was from Somalia, and he was the best soccer player on their team.
Starting point is 00:58:57 And then there was a girl at my school, Chevrus, who was really cute, who me up on IM, and started like flirting with me, and she thought I was Francis from Portland. She's like, your Somalian's a little off. And he was like three years older than me, and we could not, I mean, if you put our skin tones in a Crayola pack, we're at different size of the box. We were thrown off by like the perfect grammar. I don't know if I spoke as well as back then as I do now
Starting point is 00:59:27 Pretty yeah, I was I am in you know yeah, but what was your am name? White Francis white white ass Francis it was something to do with like rest. I was really into wrestling back That's my name backwards, yeah. Yeah, some people did that. I had a couple, I can't remember. It's hilarious to think of a dude from Somalia who's in Miami and like, I gotta get back to Somalia. Good God, there's nothing, I'm so fucking...
Starting point is 00:59:54 These people suck. I don't fuck with these people. They were like, they were, I would say by and large that the Somali immigrants were, I think, and I could be very naive about this, but very well received and liked and integrated into the main... That's good. It was probably their first time in their lives being bored, which is probably a rush. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:17 Do you know what I've experienced? I went to Sweden once and I asked, I was doing some shows over there, just before anything and got to know some of the local comics and asked them, is this a racist country at all? And they were like, no, we are unbelievably not racist. Would they say yes, though? I kind of, whatever. Yeah, I think so.
Starting point is 01:00:39 The comedians would have. Yeah. And they were like, it's because there are so few people of color that nobody has developed like any sort of prejudices against them. You can't group their behavior because they're so like one offish. Yeah, that makes sense.
Starting point is 01:00:59 And maybe there's something to that, too, where like in Maine, as you said, white estate in the country. I don't know, because I was when I went to Iceland. I was picking up a heavy racist. Were you area big time? What were you picking up? Well, you said you went to that one town and there's like swastikas painted all over the place there was like There's n words. Yeah, like really like graphic like graffiti drawings of like lynchings and shit. Ah, yeah, that's a vibe for sure Yeah, we pulled into that town and we saw that and we were like Look, let's go somewhere else or a not Reykjavik. That was not Reykjavik. Now. We were we were we were in
Starting point is 01:01:38 We were planning on spending the whole day in that town and then we saw that and we were like just get the fuck out of here I found out midway through a tattoo. My tattoo artist was a Nazi mmm. That's never fun. No, and there's nothing you can do swastika He was like I was looking around the shop and he had some I thought he was like just a World War two buff Yeah, yeah, but he only collected one side And then he was like come down the basement like look at the other shit, and then he started like Making jokes yeah out of the basement and look at the other shit. And then you started making jokes.
Starting point is 01:02:04 Yeah. Mm, it's tough. Yeah. It's tough when people assume you're on their side. Oh, they do it all the time, too. Yeah. What a slap in the face. What do you mean, they?
Starting point is 01:02:13 I think just being white, people do that. But being tattooed by him, you have to play along. You gotta talk to the person. Yeah. We gotta be getting close now to a time when there are no more living Nazis from the Third Reich left on earth. Yeah, very close.
Starting point is 01:02:32 Just as just as there are probably very few World War Two veterans of World War Two left. Like how many Hitler youth do you think are left? But that's a, see that's that gives you more time because they were kids during that time. But still, I mean they were kids during the 1940s earlier. Yeah, right. So that would mean now they're... Say they're five, they were born in 1935, 19... 90 years old, yeah. Yeah, we're close. You think they ever like, like,
Starting point is 01:03:01 fucked a black dude or anything like that? Any Hitler youth ever like, strayed to the other side? I'm sure, for sure, yeah. I think, you know. Love is love, man. Fucked a Jewish bro or something? Yeah. Wow.
Starting point is 01:03:13 That'd be dope. A rebellious Hitler. Jewish bro. Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's a black Jewish dude. It is weird though, like you do get that a lot. I get that all the time when I go to like other cities where like the you'll be like an an Uber. You'll talk to someone after a show and they'll say something insane and they'll be like, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:03:32 Yeah, like you're like, yeah, people always just say, yeah, I don't know if it's a face thing for me or how I carry myself, but I get both extremes. Same. Okay. Do yeah. Yeah. I think people just assume everyone's on their side. That's true. I think that's more of a liberal thing.
Starting point is 01:03:51 Or actually maybe not, maybe not. Liberals and extreme racists assume that everyone's on their side. Every time I'm in an Uber, and it's a long Uber, and I'm coming back from a weekend or something, or I'm going to a hotel for a weekend, and I tell them I'm a comedian if it's like a white dude driving immediately it just turns into like oh you guys really can't say
Starting point is 01:04:13 anything anymore really I'm surprised you tell uber drivers I don't really anymore but I remember there was one time specifically I was in I was in uh I was in Atlanta and I was in uh I was in an uber back to the airport I was leaving and I told the judge, I was a comedian. He was like, man, it's gotta be a tough job right now. You really just can't say anything, can you? And he's like, it's crazy that like a black guy could go on stage and say the M word all he wants, but if you went up there and said that, your career's over.
Starting point is 01:04:38 But he kinda has your life in your hands and he's driving you. So you, again, you have to like. Oh yeah, I'm in the back like, I'll do it 100%. Oh, I've been in situations where I've like made good points to them. I've made people more racist. Like, have you thought about this? Yeah. Yeah. But just because I had to out of necessity.
Starting point is 01:04:56 It's like, yeah, phrenology is actually the study of how their skull is. Yeah. Yeah. It's something worth reading up. It's something worth reading about. Yeah. You know, I actually got some good YouTube videos that you should check out. What's your whatsapp? Which your signal throw me your dat chat just make sure you nuke the convo when we're done You guys were the face of that program still are
Starting point is 01:05:22 Strong. That's how we communicate actually to the beat that chat. Yeah, yeah only it's the only way Fuck yeah, fuck yeah That's an hour Sweet, so should we go for another hour? We'll stop talking. Let's stretch. Can we stretch? Yeah, I got a piss. Let's stretch

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