A New Untold Story - Cam's Sugar Hams - A New Untold Story: Ep. 440

Episode Date: March 20, 2025

nicky is back from vacation and ready to get real nerdy. rudy can't stop eating. kb is sprinting. mook went on a date. Ads: Gametime - Download the Gametime app today and use code UNTOLD for $20 off your first purchase Mando - Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @shop.mando and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code ANUS at https://Mandopodcast.com/ANUS! #mandopod Factor - Get started at https://FACTORMEALS.com/FACTORPODCAST and use code FACTORPODCAST to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping. DraftKings - GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, [phone] or visit gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit ccpg.org (CT), or visit www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD). 21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). 1 per new customer. $5+ first-time bet req. Max. $200 issued as non-withdrawable Bonus Bets that expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: dkng.co/dk-offer-terms. Ends 3/30/25 at 11:59 PM ET. Roman - Connect with a provider at RO.co/UNTOLD to find out if prescription Ro Sparks are right for you and get $15 off your first orderYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey a new untold story listeners you can find every episode on apple podcast spotify or youtube Prime members can listen to ad free on amazon music 10 minute sessions with a four 10 with a four I could only wish I could probably I could either do 10 10 10 minutes with a four or probably like two minutes with the six. Yeah I could not handle In eight plus no, no, no no I would spit it out in Seconds mm-hmm it instantly makes me sick meanwhile everyone else has these crazy tolerances hockey guys are doing like grams now

Yeah, I have three grams in Three grams in There's dudes that play there's dudes that play NHL games with it with that Yeah, elk boys and hockey players are on on two grams In their mouth Lucy eight balls Yeah, you're micro dosing Yeah, my tolerance hasn't grown since the last time That's a good thing It's a thing. You make pop in. Yeah, yeah, you're in a better place. That's a good thing. That's a good thing. You want me to clap in? Yeah. Yeah, you're in a better place.

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He sent me a there was like your child in and tests It was about your children taking a test my uncle also wrote a kid's book well No, mine was for parents for kids. Oh really yeah, you gotta get them to be better test takers than my parents took it my parents read it and Try to instill those values upon me with uncles and books man uncles love books my uncle wrote a book about lucid dreaming That's that's cool. Pretty dope. That's cool. That is actually cool What about your uncle Kyle? my uncle

You're an uncle. I am an uncle an uncle twice. I'm gonna now yeah, I am a double black uncle This one not by blood. Yes. Oh, yeah, I am a double black uncle mm-hmm this one not by blood yes So yeah, he could be Michael or yeah, yeah Is there like fingers crossed for that I would like him to be very large yes Like yeah like bigger than me in sixth grade Yeah, is he Is he on his way? I can't tell you met him in person. Yeah thing is he's an infant. Yeah, that he on his way? I can't tell. Have you met him in person yet? The thing is he's an infant.

That's the issue. Therein lies the issue. You're a godfather. I'm a godfather. I had to go, I'm like going to church now. Regularly? I had to get like a parish seal from a parish I attend and I didn't, I felt uncomfortable lying about it. So I joined a church first.

So you were going to church on Sundays? I'm a member of old St. Patrick's I give I tithe you tithe I felt I really wanted that signature I didn't want to like be like oh he just joined just to get the signature so who do you have to ask somebody for the signature yeah I got the signature but I'm like I've been I've been twice how How's it feel? So they wanna keep going. It hurts. Why? Because it's so fucking boring? I can never get a seat.

It's a popular, it's a hot spot for countless. Oh, you got into a popular church? So I have to stand, I have to go to the balcony and stand up and kind of like half sit on the radiator. Are you alone? So my back is hurt. Yes, I'm alone. You go to church alone on Sunday.

What time is the mass? It's at a nine You're a church guy now. Yeah, I think Yeah, I don't follow it still and God forbid, how did we follow it as kids? No idea. I it's no idea. They're speaking in Scripture which doesn't like really translate to like how I want want a dude to tell me how to be a better man, how to be a better person. I don't know if a priest is the person to do that. Yeah, I can go and pray.

Okay. Do you feel lighter? I feel, I wanna say I feel better about myself, but I think it's a subconscious alleviation of guilt. And then my mom was big into church. And I guess in a way, like I wanna do that for her. Does a party, are you doing it for the Jesus piece? For the Jesus piece? Yeah.

You wanna crucifix necklace? It's like a chain, I wanna get a crucifix necklace. Yeah. I got my, so I didn't know what to get for a very, very young infant for baptism. So I got him like a priest bobble head. And like a rosary you can chew on. A chewable rosary, yeah.

I don't know if that was like for a dog, but. Are the Godfather rule, is it, if something, God forbid, of course, happens to your sister, would you get that child? Would I, are you a potential black dad? I would have to be 10 removed, I don't know. Wait, so you. No, I think it's just next up. Yeah, I would not be next you got a but Godfather is I think that's what you sign up for I always felt like Godfather was just an umbrella term for

He we know you yeah, and we don't have anything for you. I don't know you got him a bobblehead and a chew toy Are you yeah frank the tank? Thanks your godson No, you're there. Do you have to hold him during the dunking? I think I do have to touch him So maybe that'll be a treat. Yeah, man for sure. I got a little banana republic fit so very nice I'm sure they'll appreciate that very nice back to yeah, Ohio though for 40 Who's from there? I think I'd imagine Machine gun Kelly's from 440 is like that

Northeast area Yeah, I feel like MGK isn't from the real Cleveland area code Dave Pilkey Dave Pilkey of Ghost in area code Dave Pilkey Dave Pilkey of Ghost underpants fame underpants fame that's right but there's a guy from like the Parma area and apparently Parma is like the Cleveland of Greater Cleveland Cleveland I didn't know that some guy was begging me to talk about Parma is riddled with Eastern euros you got to talk about their pastries you got to talk about Rudy Strudel oh hell yeah yeah are you going to do that shout out to Rudy Strudel there we hell. Yeah. Yeah, are you going to do that?

Shout out to Rudy strudel there. We go. I bet you that guy's fucking stoked now. It sounds like what you call your victims Yeah Strudel yeah, yeah, yeah, it does Ransom e olds is from the Parma area. I don't know who that is. You should. Ransom E.

Olds. Famous men in America. And listen to the name Ransom E. Olds. That's a that's automatic. Look at him. Here's what he did. He invented the Oldsmobile.

Oh, hence the name. He invented the assembly line. Well, I thought that was Henry Ford. Popularized it. No way. He didn't need the glitz and glamour. And what else did he invent? Ransom's one of the coolest names.

Such a he was destined for extreme success. Ransom Eli Olds. Kyle Bauer. No chance. Kyle Greg Bauer. Yeah, I'm gonna switch it to like K. Gregory Bauer shot. But look at his initials.

What do you notice? REO Speedwagon. He invented the REO Speedwagon. He invented REO, the automobile company, and REO Speedwagon was a car. Yeah. That became a band. Right, good band. I like them mm-hmm So this dude also invented he was a drag racer on Daytona Beach. He's in the drag racing Hall of Fame

He had his own mansion called the Olds Mansion. He had a turn to a vehicular turntable in his garage So he didn't need to back out reverse. Yeah, love that There was one of those in Bethlehem in his garage so he didn't need to back out. Love that. There was one of those in Bethlehem. West Virginia. I had a neighbor one. There was? Yeah. Shout out to all the heroes who back into their parking spot.

What you got, everyone notices and everyone commends you. Yeah, that's right. The way you're able to do that so flawlessly. For a quick, they're prepping for a quick escape, which I don't like that. Yeah, no, so bravely. They're prepping for a quick escape, which I don't like that. Yeah, no, I commend them. I just started doing it now that I have a car. I never was that before.

But why do you do it? I saw someone else do it and I was like, damn, that feels like a cool guy move. It's definitely like trying to flex, but I will say this, it's like a nice treat for yourself. When you come out back I'm sure that is nice. Leave so easily. I'm sure that is nice. Yeah, damn you brought ransom e-olds to the table Do you have anyone I Dave Pilkey?

Pilkey did captain under what else well he did this is one of his books who can gluk Okay, and gluk they took it off shelves for Asian hate Okay, yeah, what was the plot? It was these two? GLUK And he spells his name DAV Pilkey, which I assumed he was an Indian that sounds a dog You know why he got that name he worked at Pizza Hut and his E fell off his name tag

He's like fucking I'm DAV now, and then he just became Dave. He just leaned into it Yeah, but they took that off shelves. It's about these time-traveling cave kung fu cavemen because They had an Asian kung fu master who wore robes and spoke in Asian Proverbs Maybe I'm old and out of touch. Wouldn't it be worse if it was like a non-Asian person? Yeah, that seems like they're just paying homage. Right, but now every bit of money it's made has now gone...

What year was that? I think it was like, 09? Damn. That's interesting. That's weird. Yeah, that was the guy, it was an Asian guy wearing Asian ropes they wanted the last Treatment I have yeah, but like It would be an awesome book if it was like a black dude reading Asian Proverbs first of all black dude looks sick in those robes Yeah, and then they they could they could yeah

Yeah, but then like it just a black dude that only spoke in like Chinese proverbs. I think would be the coolest thing That's like a sassins Creed. Oh man. That's swing the sword can't cut the mist from the sky That would be so fucking cool. Yeah, man You're trying to cut mists Speaking of Asian I had an Asian man as my Uber driver this morning. And uh... That makes one of us. I had a Nigerian. Okay, go on.

Okay. Like seven syllables. I would tell you what the name was, but I forgot. And I even tried to memorize it. My guy, zero English, but he had this thing in the front, and I got in the car and it hit a button, and it was like an Asian text toto-speech and it goes hi handsome welcome to the uber I'm excited to take you to your destination and I thought that was the

coolest thing and so I went to my phone yeah and you could see it here let's see if I thought I was probably just searching other things I translated I looked up in Chinese, and I was just like, you're not so bad yourself, can you play that again for me? Because I wanted to film it.

And so I played it in Chinese, and he just goes, Korean. I was like, oh fuck. And then I had the whole ride. So I get in the car, he plays something, and I just put my phone in the front seat in his ear, and play Chinese. Which is a charming move. Thank you Getting the wrong and I was trying to communicate and just got the wrong. Mm-hmm. Yeah bad

But they're pretty different Yeah, is that like that's probably like American and Mexican you think I don't know I think we just lump them in together. Yeah, we kind of fucked up. I was like, oh, this guy's going to love this Chinese. Fucked up. But in a way, I kind of expect him to appreciate it. Yeah, I got to get his name. Got to have him on the pod. Korean.

Korean. Handsome, handsome is always handsome. But I think you had chicken. Yeah, I love that. When you get called handsome, it's similar to a black lady calling you sugar. Luke, you'd love it. Oh called handsome. It's similar to a black lady calling you sugar nook you'd love it My grandma used to call me handsome wait complementary it always seems like it's never Yeah, what you're saying in what context was like being called handsome feel good like a real compliment

Meeting girlfriends parents and the moms like oh, he's handsome. Yeah, there there you go, but I know he's actually I think it would actually be better if someone said he's actually handsome Mm-hmm Cuz cute hurts cute cuts Cute guys I had a friend who had a legit meltdown over cute. Yeah, uh-huh my buddy Dylan a booed Very cute boy can cute become handsome cute adult cute adult man can't become handsome man you're cute guy yeah you're cute adult for life and this one girl I think we were in high school or something it's like oh

Dylan you're just such a cutie pie and he's like he just lost it in a year actually got mad he literally lost it like I'm talking meltdown as in kid meltdown I'm not cute I'm fucking fucking hot. No. He said fuck being cute I want to be hot. Oh my god. That's so lame And then and then that's so said that did he actually say that and that has to be an MGK line off Which is a very cute move We got called cutie pie And now is he a hockey player?

Mm-hmm now he's doing like two grams of Zen mm-hmm Air Force guy to badass Yeah, if he's doing like two grams of Zen mm-hmm Air Force guy too badass Yeah, if he's flying mm-hmm All right tiny wee little break to talk about our friends at game time Kyle you're going to events aren't you yeah? This weekend, and I used game time And it was almost too easy because I was bored and had nothing to do after I used the app Which it took like 15 seconds No, I'm using it going to see the used on the 30th. Yep. Good band. I'm gonna come no, but yeah Game time makes getting tickets faster and easier prices on the app actually go down

Mm-hmm the closer it gets to showtime. So a little spontaneous trip, get the juices flowing for cheap. Yeah, the Game Time picks makes it even easier to find deals on seats, especially leading up to the event. What are you waiting for? Buy those Oasis tickets right now. Take the guesswork out of buying tickets with Game Time. Download the Game Time app, create an account,

use code untold for $20 off your first purchase terms apply again create an account redeem code untold You went to LD for $20 off. That's a lot. That's a lot when it comes to $100 ticket That's 20% off you can go to Beyonce at Soldier Field for only a hundred and thirty three dollars Yeah, if it's your first time at game time feel like they're disgusted by that she would hate that worth only that Yeah, she would hate that yeah, but do it do it if you want mm-hmm download the game time app today Okay, okay. It's time to talk about Mando. Nobody wants to stink. Nobody wants to smell like what's this ad rated? Nobody wants to smell like fucking dog shit That's why Mando comes into play the full body deodorant

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Yeah, that's right, longest Oscar speech of all time. Mm-hmm. I think. She was a varsity cheerleader. Dudes keep divorcing her, and I don't know why you'd do that. I know. She started with David Justice,

which is a prime get. I feel like a 2001 baseball player. That was at their peak. They were the biggest stars in the early 2000s. I don't know what happened Now they're like baseball stars are now like just gate guys named Gabe who come on the yak. That's it. That's really Like oh, he's the best player in the league. Oh, yeah that guy the guy that Steven Che texts is that's not how dudes baseball players used to marry Halle Berry exactly Che texts is that's not how dudes baseball players used to marry Halle Berry exactly

He divorced her David Justice, then she married you married Eric Benet Yeah an R&B singer and he underwent treatment for sex addiction while they were married. Oh He was it. I mean that's gonna feel good on her end Yeah, unless he's like no cuz dudes do that when they cheat your man is addicted to your pussy She has a physiological Dependent on her pussy's itchin like he needs like he can't he needs help dude What he what if he just kept like a tin of her juice in his back pocket? Yes, he had just like rub his gums a flask of her pussy and

Sneaker pussy into the work bathroom Sneaking her pussy like into games that would be inconvenient. Whoa look at the side says no Halle Berry pussy Beyond this line you can't have this border huffing it. You can't have this Dude he's pouring Halle Berry pussy into a Coke can so he can walk the streets. Yeah. God, yeah, what a goddess. You said longest Oscar speech. Yes. Do you know what she won her Oscar for?

And she did it in historic fashion as the first black woman. Was it Swordfish? No, I think it was like, did she ug herself up for a movie? Was it a movie where she Wasn't dolled up? It's close, she got fucked by Billy Bob Thornton That's what you have to do. In Monster's Ball

Monster's Ball, that's what it was. I almost said Monster in Law Yeah So in 2001, she did two Tit movies. Swordfish. Swordfish Yeah. That was my first black tit. My first mixed girl, yeah.

I think mine was Jackson. Oh fuck. Oh man, which was mine? Janet Jackson. I still think mine was Barry. What year did Swordfish come out? So Swordfish came out in summer 2001 and then Monsters Ball came out in summer 2001 mm-hmm and then Monsters Ball came out in November 2001

So 9-eleven was chronologically sandwiched by how we buried how we buried their titties Yeah, so it went Halle Berry titty two towers how they're titty yes Nice and that was a nice little pattern Dude wow I'll take the number 9-eleven plane toasted with the howie howie Barry Wow I Wonder if we were like waiting on a tragedy after the second titties just to see if we were getting into a real

Pattern a real every other kind of month thing or it's just a back to business There was a stretch of time where it was either a terrorist attack or a berry titty Yes What a three months that was? Oh Halle Berry's tits this year is gonna be awesome. Oh no. Oh god. Okay. We're good. We're back on track We're back on track with Barry's breath America is America's back. We're back looking at bear Hallie Tilly Tongue-twister

Kind of had it though you're so video of him and Angelina where she was she was addicted to him They were there was like a pretty buttoned- interviewer. She couldn't stop licking him. And he was- Yeah, I remember this. Was he wearing a vial? She was wearing a vial of his blood around her neck. Yeah, you wanna talk about- She couldn't stop licking this man.

And he couldn't have tasted well. Oh, he has to be the worst tasting guy. Yeah, he's like a human version of a Marlboro Red. He's a witch cast a spell on an ashtray. It was like, you're bad Santa now. This witch turned your ashtray into bad Santa. She couldn't stop tasting him. He looks like the dirtiest dude in the world.

And he's like, bitch, get off me. I had to go fuck Halle Berry at work. What a life. Oh my God. Was he, he had just been supplying her drugs, right? Like I. It's the only justification. How was he doing this? I don't know.

Look how annoyed he is. Look at every picture. Being licked by Jolie. He hates it. Like annoyed. He's always pissed kissingicked by Jolie. Like annoyed. He's always pissed kissing Angelina Jolie. Look at that picture far left. That looks like it should be on the West Virginia,

like Facebook. Look, CS. Happy at last. It looks like it would take place at like at a marathon gas station. He has the foremost worldly lips on his face, and he's discease I Got that's if he's fake smile. Yeah, he's a he is he's king he's smoking a sick

He doesn't have time for these bear hit for these Jolie kisses I Might if I could trade places I don't I Might be him. If anyone. Going home to Angelina Jolie after your day job of fucking Halle Berry. That's what he did, yes. It's like she- I don't wanna talk about my fucking day.

She had an orgasm in the scene and he was racist in the movie. That was the plot point. That was really it? Yeah, he was like a racist guy who fucks Halle Berry and makes her cum. And then he goes home. So he wins. That's crazy.

That was it. She was the first black woman to win. His job is to be racist and to fuck Halle Berry and then get to go home to Angelina Jolie. They could have given it to Whoopi Goldberg in the color purple. That would be like, okay, yes, what a moment. Beautiful. Fantastic. Now she didn't, she dated, she married a French Canadian model Gabriel Aubrey

And now she's dating Van Hunt Van Hunt Van Hunt that's who she's dating whose Van Hunt No, not Angelina Jolie that's how we bury What's Van Hunt do? It's a cool fucking name Or maybe not good Good on her though. Good on him. Hope he doesn't...

Hope she doesn't get divorced, man. She's been through enough. You got anything else on Cleveland? Uh, that's it on Cleveland. March of Madness. I know. And I'm sure... I looked through the slate.

There's 64 teams. I could not come up with anything good for a parlor. I don't know how we ever did this because I tried to do something and they suck. Did you do any? Yeah, I have a couple if you wanna hear me. Yeah, let's hear them. All right, this one's called

Question You Ask After Watching Jerry Seinfeld animated movie. BYU Dayton, Ole Miss, you a B. BYU Dayton, Ole Miss, UAB. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just had to sneak in. They're in the NIT, though. Didn't love doing that felt dirty

You could bet on Dayton. Yeah, all right And then in the same Seinfeld vein Seinfeld character pepper spring Gangnam style duplicates. I got this. Yeah, you know you do Seifel character dating Seinfeld character pepper spring Gangnam Style George Mason cyclones Man yeah Mason in Iowa State all right walking in on my twin boys who have girlfriends sucking the dick of Cooper flag, okay? I got this

Walking in on my you don't have this cuz I used to play her name and nobody know I didn't know any Okay, what is it? Buy Sons Topping Cooper Flag. I couldn't think of another thing so I just... And then this guy named... It's horrible. Alright, you can get this one. It's two team parlay. What happens when you look at a map of SoCal?

I don't think I can get this. Yeah, you can. What happens when you look at a map of SoCal? I don't think I can get this. Yeah, you can. What happens when you look at a map of SoCal? Okay, I'm thinking LA, I'm thinking San Diego. UCLA, San Diego. UCLA and San Diego. UCLA and UC San Diego. Yeah, you're on.

Oh, yeah, dude. That was hours of work and one of them just died through Cooper Flags. I couldn't think of a play. I was like, I don't know, they're sucking Cooper Flags dick. Really bad. Okay, but those are the parlays. Those are the parlays. Be sure to tail. I missed you guys while I was gone.

We did miss you dearly. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah No, thanks man. Any takeaways from St. Martin? I said it on the yak a lot of African American lesbians. Mm-hmm Is there a reason for that? I don't I don't I don't think We talk about like not getting to see them enough, especially I didn't know where all the lesbians were they're in st Martin they're in they're in st. Martin it They whooping

Yeah, they were hoping yeah, okay. Yeah, they went down there just to do but That was it it was not vacation for them, but no it was it was cool I wish I had some fun stories or tales, but it was just a very real... I didn't do anything. That's perfect. I didn't do anything. I long for days of nothing.

Yeah. And then I itch for grand success. Two days into nothing. Do you? Would you love to be a superstar? Yeah, then I'm like, I just... No, no, no. I think I used to.

I think it just because it was just correlated with success. But now, no, but I itch for something. What do you think it is? I don't know. That's like you're not sad anymore. No, I'm like I'm like a two nine two this month, which isn't horrible. But out of what? Well, three is average. So this is bad.

It's a little below average. But like back you or dribble era. What were you I? Was in the ones yeah, I was in the the low early ones But the funny thing was like those were some good pods exactly Yeah, so that's eating me up So do you yeah, do you feel the need need to have something bad happen or be sad? I would like an event. I would like something to take place. But do you put yourself in the position?

No, that's the thing. I don't do things. It had to have hurt a little bit when your girlfriend had all her friends come and they all towered over you. Yeah. She brought some. Yep. Yeah. She brought some athletes over. That'll put you in the water. Because I walked in and I did not see you. Yeah, I had to take some group pics. In every group photo, you looked like the neighbor

from Home Improvement behind their shoulders. There was one in front of the green river where I just crouched and did a peace sign. Dude, that... I saw that picture. There was one in front of the green river where I just crouched into the peace sign is dude that I Saw that picture it looked like they were because you were in green you were in all green you crouched next I thought they were saying next to a bocce ball Yep, she didn't warn me I would have done something else I would have done something else. I don't know what you could have prepared.

Yeah, it was like... Just bringing all your friends to stay at your apartment and just... You were the smallest in the house. Uh-huh, and they got here at 6am to my apartment. And I walked out shortly and... Shit, it was... Oh, man. Her sister brought friends who didn't even place them.

They were also... They were also... One was a fucking a preschool teacher And she was Just all of you. Yeah, but I'm about to be On the north end of average for men are we shrinking this weekend going to NCA wrestling tournament Oh, no way in Philly. Are you going Jerry? I'm not going with you. Okay going with shorter homies Oh, you're going with three shorter home Mac and Dell. mm-hmm in Philly you go with Jerry. I'm not going with you. Okay. I'm going with shorter homies Oh, you're going with three shorter home Mac and Dell mm-hmm

And I'll Fredo I wish you could make it I'll get to couldn't you not figure out how to get a plane ticket no, but I got an Airbnb And I just looked at it for the first time and it's it's uh, there's a 19 mirrors on the wall Why? It's like one of those vintage places I didn't know vintage places had it looks vintage. There's two. There's like there's what i'm saying is there's there's dozens of mirrors and they're going to fall, right? Why just got rowdy dudes a bunch of drunk wrestlers like 32 year old dudes would get together Some it's one of those situations where they're all gonna fall Rowdy dudes a bunch of drugs like 32 year old dudes would get together and some

It's one of those situations where they're all gonna fall Is gonna prep for the damage fees. That's hundreds of years. Is it you and how many guys four three other guys three other guys? Do you guys wrestle when you get back? after like the semis we're gonna do like probably round robin like first take down in the Airbnb absolutely your rest. Are you looking forward to that? Yes, are you gonna be the one to break it? Are you are you guys all the same like you get there and it's already hands. We're gonna get hands-on This where is this where it is

No You're wrestling in a house of mirrors. There's just too many mirrors. That sounds like an old adage That a black samurai would say yes, you're right Dude, do you how's it feel to get back with a wrestler guys? Do you feel yourself? Has your has your has your thought process changed since since then? This is being 21. Well, no, so like yeah, I guess that's that's the question It's like it's it feels good to talk about wrestling. There's so many like things that I don't get to talk about Like risk control we just talk about names

Not like the technique, but um do you have like a rooting interest? Yeah, I I follow it enough for like each weight class will have heavy enough implications for me personally to like care about what happens. I've been so mad about sports lately and I'm so embarrassed and I don't even want to talk about it but like Rudy, we were playing video games when I got the news and like he heard me. I get so, I get embarrassed when I get really mad about sports. You get upset like when WVU doesn't make the tournament or whatever else. That pissed me off a lot. Yeah.

A whole lot, I was seething. Yeah, he hit us with, we were playing a video game and he's like, by the way. And nobody gives a fuck. They are like a forgotten, it's like wrestling. WVU's like the wrestling of the sports world. If people don't care. Yeah.

I use the wrestling of the sports world. If people don't care. Yeah. Yeah, but I, we have the perfect jobs for a place to be mad about sports and I still don't do it. But what else would get you mad? Like in life? In sports. Like other sports?

Mm-hmm. That's it. So it's West Virginia. Yeah, yeah I think so. But do you have something like that? No, because I don't like, I wouldn't get mad over wrestling. Right. I was like, the guy's like, I wish he would win.

Luke, you get mad over sports. Yeah, yeah, birds. Do you like, but I, yeah, I just feel weak when I let it ruin my day. And I was seething scrolling till 3 a.m Mm-hmm. I was gonna tweet something nasty to the coach Yeah, you tweeted fuck you to the bracket faceless bracket not to the coach I get and then we had the governor on and I was gonna

Try I did that was my moment To be a champion of WVU sports and I cowered that was embarrassing to scramble anybody older than me. I'm nervous around An old politician and anybody younger than me. I'm nervous around we've talked about this. I think You have to be my exact set you have to be June 28th 1992 And then I'm not nervous around you That's the only time I can be myself Mm-hmm, which I wonder how many people that is. Who's hungry?

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Does it make you mad how the Pokemon community's been acting lately with? What? The did you see the fight? At Costco. Oh with the scalpers. Yeah, um No, I'm not too mad about that because like I'm not I don't like the new Pokemon cards. Oh, it's a car mad about this Yeah, I went to a card convention with mook. So much fun. And I was intimidated as fuck. Whenever I'm, I guess I'm a pussy with that. Everything I say I was like, yeah, and I did this and I was scared.

I did this and I was scared. But it's like being around people so knowledgeable about something I know nothing about. And so I go there and those guys like branch off. Moresh goes to look at Pokemon, mook goes to look at sports. And so I like go up to a card table. I'm like, I'm gonna buy a card. And so I like go up to a card table, I'm like, I'm gonna buy a card. And so I went up to the guy and I was just like,

I'll take that one. It was 175 bucks, Obama, gem mint eight. But you went to buy that? I bought an Obama card and I was like, I broke the seal, I bought a card at a card show on my own. Moog was like, dude, did you haggle? And I was like, what, no. And so it was graded an eight out of 10,

a graded nine out of 10 is 40 bucks. Yeah. Ripped off by a lot. Oh, they ripped you. They ripped me the fuck off. I probably surprised. They went to this card show and they were like, we sold the Obama for 175.

But I thought it was funny because the card brand was Mayo. It said Mayo on it. Yeah, that's hilarious. Thank you. Borderline. Okay. So that's the card I bought. It looks like it would be expensive. Yeah, that's hilarious. Thank you borderline So that's the card I bought it looks expensive. That's what I thought but it's also just a painting of him It's a first term. Is there a piece of like Michelle on there's a piss. It's yeah, it has Michelle's foreskin on the back

Yeah, I tried to save Nick, but he was too far in he was like I'm buying it I'm like did you did you ask about the price did you look up comps and he, but he was too far in. He was like, I'm buying it. I'm like, did you did you ask about the price? Did you look up comps? And he was like, he was like, the guy was already getting the card swiper. So it was already final. It was like a verbal, I'll take that. And then I went and did it three more times.

You bought some more? Dude, I, yeah. At the end, we were talking, we negotiated with that last guy a little bit. Kind of, he was like 400. I was like 350, he was like like 400. I was like 350 was like 390 I was like alright so this is this like culture is that you're

Expected to haggle and negotiate. It's a negotiation. I had no clue handle that I had no clue Moresh was there like stonewall means like I'll trade you this and this guy was like no he's like fine fuck Like I would be overwhelmed. I was so overwhelmed and now I I just have these cards that, like I have this in my house. You bought some sick stuff though. Yeah, and I had to peel off the labels. What is sick stuff? Sick stuff is vehicles and- I bought a blank Pokemon card. Cool jackets.

That's what, I bought a blank, I bought that. But I got it graded. It says, it's the Pokemon card on the back, but it says that on the front. It is a, is it a nine out of 10? But couldn't someone just do that? Ah, 8.5. It's an 8.5?

Yeah. But now I'm obsessed with PSA. They just, they'll grade anything. So you could send something in. So I also got a graded Xbox 360 game. Which one? Skyrim. What does that mean?

I got a nine, six Skyrim in a case. So does that mean unopened? Yeah, it's in the packaging in a big case. I bought an animal card, the drummer for the Muppets. I just- Oh, so you did get some sick stuff. I got a graded Skyrim. What does that mean?

What does the grade mean? They graded the quality of it. I don't know what- It't know how good the game is The quality of the case I got an unopened rated a for that you know why it's Canadian the one I got I got a Graded like nine point eight Skyroom. I'm not gonna lie. I think it's so fucking cool People get like jubilant about high nine ratings Yeah, we case yeah big time like it's a perfectly cut case first edition How sealed it is? Yeah, center the art is on it's ridiculous

But that's just like let's just make believe like I think so just like the imagination like you're just coming up with concepts That don't exist you can send off any item to this company They'll grade it great at how on how nice it is in their opinion. Yeah, and the Pokemon grading company will identify what's wrong with the card. So like if you send in a card and there's a stain on it, they'll like figure out what the stain is. Yeah, they're like they're like professional card cleaners now that will clean your cards before you send them off. So like it's ridiculous and I went there and like being surrounded by all of it. I was like, yeah, this makes perfect sense.

This is so fun. This is a cool community. And then I got home and I like looked at my bank account of I have triple digits left and and I have a dude. It's so hard to explain to your significant other when you're trying to hide a Xbox 360 game in your back pocket you got you got assets, bro. Yeah, man I was gonna look how nice the edges dude that in like the font of the Xbox. Yeah, it's really It's the it's the perfect green. It's the perfect Xbox green, but it's mine's not a 10 out of 10

Are these things that would go into your will? dude, I Know because I'm gonna misplace it in a month No, are there people who like collect like the highest quality graded yes, they're there's okay So they're collecting clean debris Some people are sending in their junk because you could buy Skyrim. They printed off. There's probably 10 trillion copies of Skyrim and They're just like their stuff you could find for a dollar at a garage sale, and then they'll grade it, but I saw a what I

Should never get money because I saw a graded in case Pokemon read a 10 out of 10 for $4,500. Yeah. It had like the sharpest edges. It was folded perfectly. The box was perfectly square, unopened. It's a world I had, I understood cards. Well, not even really, like all the centering, all this. Like if there's a rip on it or like something's,

but like I'll see a card that looks perfect, they'll be like, there's a rip on it or like something's but like I'll see a card that looks perfectly like that's a seven The yeah, I guess they don't know Yeah, I prefer things with defects That's what I bought miss prints you like miss prints. We've got me a miss print as well You know who had the speaking of like Dave dropping the e You know who had the best miss prints no in clothing. Oh my god back home This is what this might be a West Virginia company.

Gabriel Brothers? It's Gabriel Brothers. I shopped there. It's a off price, like discount clothing. It's a West Virginia company. But like every mom would take their kids to Gabe's to buy your school clothes for that year. So it's like a Ross kind of?

They get, it's like a Ross kind of? They get, it's like a lower Ross because they get deformed clothing. Right, so like they were like, it would be like college teams and like pro sports teams and Nike and Rock-A-Wear, but it was a lot cheaper because it had like a defect on it, like some of the letters were missing,

or there were smudges, like the Duke Blue Devil logos. His ear looked like a pussy. One. There was one where I West Virginia actually where they had defective shirts for West Virginia and it said West Virginia. Yeah. Stuff like that.

All typos. Like it'll be like it'll be like a team's name. It'll be like Pittsburgh Pirates and then I'll have the Cincinnati Reds Cincinnati Reds. Stuff like that. That's kind of sick. It's kind of sick it's kind of cool in here, but like as a like a

Pubescent boy like there was nothing you knew when you were in Gabe's right like one of the I had a pair of jeans That was that one leg was bell-bottomed Like that like it was like 499 they were I think they were like 99 cent jeans They were Levi's and so I'll be like, okay They're Levi's I'll try to have my shirt tucked in the back And then I would try to wear it like with boots because like one one leg was a bell-bottom jean Virgil Aplo and Travis Scott would have what they would have loved it. But it was like Yeah, they got like a million of each thing, right?

So like you could roll up in your deformed thing and then somebody else wouldn't, and everybody knew you shopped at Gabe's. Yeah, I had an Adidas shirt with a cylindrical stripe. Boom. That was good, I got it for $3. I had one of my An-1 shirts, the guy in the logo had small pecs. Yeah, dude, I had, it was like a silhouette of a guy shooting a basketball,

but there was no chance the shot was going in It was like it was like an airball. It was like that. He was so it was like on its way down and the hoop was still there the menacing faceless dark figure he was One of them was like um I had the you need a bra the way your game is sagging. I was like what is that even me? You need a bra the way your game is sagging. I was like, what does that even mean? Yeah, it was the terms they didn't even, their security there, I had some friends try to steal from Gabe's.

They had the toughest security of any store I've ever been to. Like my boy Cleveland got tackled. People would just regularly steal. They would swap the price tags. Yeah, but it would be, so like it would save him like 30 cents. I just remember my boy Vincent Gu, who was like,

he's a six foot eight Chinese guy who grew up down the street from me. He lived in a house that looked like a soy cube. It was just gray and perfectly square. Do you remember it? I don't know, Vincent Gu, I don't remember the soy cube house. Go to, go to, go to, go to, That sounds like a Pixar plot.

Green Tree Drive, Wheeling, West Virginia, or Bethlehem, West Virginia. He lived in a soy soy it was this Asian family, but they were all giant and they lived in this big gray soy cube Maybe Wheeling and I think green green trees one word But he lived there and he had size like 15 shoes and the only place that sold giant fucking shoes because they were made On accident bigger than 50 They were talking about this was a landmark the 22 per royal purple show purple size 22 Gaves could never sell the size 22 shoe. Oh my god. Everyone was you'd go. It was like the Nashville wings This is not this is not it

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That's ro.co slash untold to get $15 off your first order Go go woodcrest drive wheeling, West Virginia the size 22 shoe in the back People would take dates there. Yes. Yeah, I do me and like a group of guys We would be like bored as shit driving around we get McDonald's we'd smoke weed We never couldn't get alcohol so we go to fucking Gabe's and look at the big shoes of it like it's a fish It was the size of a standard the other way down the street 15 inches We go up and turn right keep going up right up that street You'll see you'll pass up his the only you'll pass up the big gray soy cube he just lived in a perfect cube it was crazy

never ventured past that it's coming up I think turn right oh my god turn right you see it yeah but no they but it didn't have shutters and they arched the roof that's is updated okay so it was a perfectly flat roof no shutters and the window was gray in the front door was gray it was perfect it was a perfectly flat roof no shutters and the window was gray in the front door was gray It was perfect. It was perfectly everything inside was cubed That's where Vincent goo lived he lived in that yeah, and across the street was Cleveland's house Cleveland He had big bells in his front porch to the right I Think that was not wasn't cleaves, but yeah What kind of shoe was it it was a?

Purple it was like one of those and one or Shaq. Oh my god Shaq, but it was size 22 and like I Brought a girl up there once on a date And she was she like acted bored as shit And then I went up to Gabe's with a group of my friends the next week and she was with another guy Yeah, everyone takes the girl to the it's like. I don't know why it's just like we're bored. We like a quirky thing. We would prank the shoe How would you do? Meatball marinara on Italian herbs inside of it There was space for it and the worst part is like someone could have bought it. It was $11

Never thought of buying the shoe. I bet you it's still there the st. Clairsville gables. Yeah, but there are some good Like sports Jersey Defects because I remember there was the our class had the the zit 75 What's the zit 75 was a Barry Zito? The but not without the oh so it said zit his number was 75 and we would give it to the kid with the most acne every It was a it was a mean prank dude. I had to wear it. Yeah my first West Virginia Jersey I

Went up to buy it to go to a game and it was a West Virginia Jersey on the front I think it was like number like eight and on the back. It just said tar heels And like so I remember I was like wearing up to a game and like my dad was like it's hot take your jacket off I'm like no, I was like too embarrassed to show off my tar heels West Virginia Jersey. That was embarrassing Yeah, never cool, but um, but like now I would fucking love that. Yeah, I had the salt chia. What's that one? The alamak and salt alamakia fell off so just salt chia And I had the the lame is rebels First and last letter of all miss found

Was lame is rebels. That's fucking awesome to rep in the defiant thespians There's a lot of that someone was nonsensical like taxes Christian honed fro Just shit like that. I think there was a guy because then we did start catching on to it We would buy those on purpose. Yeah, and then the prices went up of them There was a guy who like purposely ripped off letters Yeah Yeah, and now I think like you could probably go there and start like your own like vintage shop online and they would go crazy Mm-hmm, it would work now this, but back then it was very embarrassing

Mm-hmm very embarrassing. Oh my god. I miss it. They're still open right did you got have you ever heard of Gabes? We didn't have Gabes we had Steven Barry's yeah, we had Steven Barry's similar. Yeah, that was just like they sold state shirts. They said shirts. It's a state. Yeah Yeah, that was just like they sold state shirts. They said shirts that said states. Yeah And like Marbury's and oh, yeah Yes, that was awesome. That was right across the street from all these bargain outlet to mm-hmm You guys have that no no they had the worst chargers They would take the battery power chargers that anti chargers would suck the battery out of your phone I put it into the wall

Yeah, I'm gonna make my dude's phone die I just charge it on the fucking Ollies charger But it was always like the LED lights on the charging wire that was like it was like very high-tech looking They had the non-electronic portable charger. That was just like if you wanted your phone to be heavier It was like all it did was like fill up the hole in the bottom of your phone. Oh My god, yeah. Oh, that's so good That's oh my god, that's where I got my first shirt that said college that was my first taste of irony that was

Really popular very popular But yeah, I think there was It there were some weird jobs there. Where? At Gabe's, because I remember the career fair. We had one in our cafeteria, there was also a state career fair in Charleston. Field trip, yeah.

I remember getting on a charter bus going down there, and it was too early for a career fair age-wise Mm-hmm, but I remember some of the jobs like I remember kayak. Do you know kayak the dip? Oh? No, I just know the hotel thing okay, like the chewing tobacco. Yes They had a stand for kids like there was some you could just they would give you empty tins to put in the back of your pocket Just to like I guess like look like your dad or something Kayak dude what great? Yes. Yeah, so good. Yeah, it was good. Yeah

But what else was down there? It was a mess cuz it was when we changed our slogan to open for business West Virginia used to be wild and wonderful Then we got a new governor and then they changed the slogan to open for business. That's so embarrassing. It literally is being like, we literally still exist. Yeah. Hey, come here. We're open.

We will take anybody as long as you're white. Please. Yeah. Yeah, well, I'm trying to think of the other stans. There's like a resident EMT at Golden Corral. Just like a Heimlich technician. Because there's the Golden Corral in Beckley, West Virginia, one year, like they averaged more deaths per day than like the siege of Leningrad. People would regularly either choke or heart attacks or just die naturally in the Golden

Corral. The buffet was too endless. People would not leave. It was like the man in the green boots at Everest. Somebody died at the Golden Corral and they were too big to move. They needed like an in-house EMT. Yeah, we had an Augustus gloop situation where

they got sucked into the fondue golden corral we used to have our pregame meals there that's a horrible idea horrifying dude I don't know if you cannot have a solid turd after golden corral but you it's also not liquid it's like it's a plasma shit yes it's a it's a it's like the fourth. It's the fourth state of state of matter Yeah, yeah, we'd go there after weigh-ins Which was so stupid you gotta go before and get everything out of your system. Yeah, but we were so hungry It was the worst idea because we're we're also like 75 pounds. That's right Yeah, that was probably the trashiest,

that might be the trashiest restaurant. Golden Corral? Golden Corral. Where's the, there's a place in West Virginia that sold sugar hams. You remember that? Yeah, the sugar ham place is the trash. No, it was like something sugar hams.

Search sugar ham West Virginia, I forget the place that it's called, I went there once, they're like, you gotta get the, Cam's Ham. Cam's Ham. Yeah, Cam's Ham. Home of the sugar ham. Virginia forget the place that it's called I went there once like you've got to get the shams ham Home of the sugar ham That was trashy to Cams ham go to images because they didn't even oh you have to get the ham you have to get the sugar ham So it was a sandwich with lettuce ham and sugar

That looks so bad. That's their stick number one image Yeah, that looks like a I have their picture their logo was just a fucking hot rod car. That's how they got you in the door It's too completely different Lettuce like gooey. Yeah, it was like you gotta get the I think you know there's cheese in a can I think their lettuce was canned and they were like spray the lettuce You gotta get the can stacked and garnished with lettuce in our special taste. This tasty sauce was dry sugar So it was like a crumb. It was like a well people just had sugar addiction. Yeah, well go back

I think they like that that was their main thing. What is that? What is that? That's the original sugar flaked ham one of the top 50 in the USA. What is that? That doesn't make any sense Camsham one of the top 50 in the USA. Yeah, it is It's one of the top 50 sugared hams in the USA Which one what is it claiming is in the top? It's one of them one of the top cams ham that implies that it's one of the top cams ham It's one of the top 50 cams hams

United States, that's so weird. Well, there's also there's a restaurant West Virginia that was steak and spaghetti It was something steak and spaghetti and they served it together Yeah Was it called I just I just can't Jim's steak and spaghetti That doesn't what was it called? I just I just can't Jim's steak and spaghetti Good call Huntington had it man come on down to Jim's steak and spaghetti now. They had hillbilly hot dogs. Yes Like they didn't have buns. No

It was bread It was it was it was on Wonder Bread. I think it was yeah It was it was it was on Wonder Bread. I think it was yeah Did you see the water came out like the water in like McDowell County? No, it's it's It's cola. It looks like a cola. It's finally and that's been the case for years They just have cold like I think someone just figured out because no one has ever tried to drink water. Well. Nobody's complained There's like things are looking up here in water's cola. Yeah, this is Wyoming and McDowell it's Removed it was it was brown you can imagine That's not oh wait what it made his back have acne. Oh

That's the water. That's the water. Oh, dude. That looks like it's that this is um McDowell County is so popular on YouTube now it's like wherever you travel vlogger goes to like it's always like I've went I went to the worst and poorest region of Appalachia mm-hmm and they try to show that the people there are human yeah like so they'll go there they'll talk in like a whispered voice like this is the most decrepit place in the world and they'll drive through the town they'll roll down their window and talk to someone they'll be like

How do you like living in McDowell County? And the guy will just be like it is what it is and they'll be like and the people are so friendly Friendliest people are normal people They're just like you yeah Yeah, it takes the bar is so low for when those people go to like down south all the all they just can't eat you and then Yeah, then these people are actually some of the friendliest people you'll ever They're so welcoming. They'll just be like how's it going? How's it going? Just another day? Approaching it like a lot like they'll get a flat tire and somebody will come up just like you good here. Oh my god. I'm approaching it like a lie. Like they'll get a flat tire and somebody will come up just like you good here?

Oh my God. I love that. Queer fair. It was mostly normal. There was a police. Have you guys ever heard of budget saver twin pops? That was down there. It's the popsicles with the two sticks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I grew up next to that factory

Everything you've said in the last 20 minutes has been so on for the banana ones are good, but budget saver twin pops There was an internship that I applied for to write the fucking jokes on the stick, and I didn't get it Yeah, well the jokes were really good The fucking jokes on the stick and I didn't get it. Yeah, well the jokes were really good Like wordplay I would have had a preface it like say this out loud and you'll get an internship Yeah for like writing the shit on the fucking stick clowns apprentice. I was gonna stick a stick writers apprentice Unpaid oh my god, dude. They're so good Did you guys have these I had a similar version? What's like the I can't remember right? But the banana ones were solid these these raw. Oh man look at the website. It's the autism cafe

I don't know man. I was just saying how much I love them and so does the Cafe I was gonna say I'm so glad I didn't take an edible for this episode This would have been These weren't good by any means oh yeah look at the top red borderline in at all sleep on budget Yeah, yes people would sleep for years on them, and they were rot in the garage fridge I've never had one without like they were better freezer burns. They were a little bit better freezer burn I had one without like they were better freezer burn. They were a little bit better freezer burn Do you can taste I'm headed back home soon? We I'll bring some back

There to life. Thank you. We'll get that. We'll read the jokes off them. I thought those were like a national thing no Okay, Luke. What were the regular ones called that? Icy pops yeah, or like the push them the otter pops for water trash They ended up in the daughter's hair was in pajamas and at Walmart Every every poor girl's hair had a clump from the melted Otterpop Flavor that was actually good. Yeah, I had the ones that look like nunchucks Like they're rounded they're almost to like They were almost like a double dildo. And you had to split it in the dildo.

I don't remember those, yeah. I stuck to the regular ones. And it was a lot harder. Do you remember the double dildo? Sort of like the rounded freeze pops. That's the ones I got. I just get the feeling that everything in West Virginia is like a normal thing that's been exposed to radiation.

And then it has trouble, trouble. Look, look, left, left, Yes. I do remember that these are guys Yes, we're good. They had that one in particular that mango e flavor looks like a glowstick They were great hard to eat hard as fuck to eat. You're really push it mm-hmm But good you have ice cream trucks We had a Schwann's man that sold tiger pops. Yeah, we had the tiger pops. But that's really it. It was just like popsicles.

What's a plankton pop? The plankton popsicle was actually really good. Oh wait, was that the one with gummies in it? Or was that the Fred Flintstone one? Plankton's gotta be the worst color, like the least appealing piece of ice cream. It was filled with actual plankton. We had one of the best ice sculptors in the world in West Virginia. Oh, I didn't know that Yeah, he was a forensic ice sculptor. He was so good at it that they used him to

sculpt the witness descriptions of suspects Mm-hmm, and so they really they had less than 48 hours to get this guy It was like the first hour you had to catch you had to catch a criminal in an hour That's right. That's right There's also a high demand for Stenographers like courtroom writers. Yeah, I remember in Marshall County like there was only one guy who knew QWERTY so if he was out like The trial was weeks.

Yeah, because he just had to slow it down and say it again. Yeah, he was averaging, he was pecking. His words per minute were so low. No, he was averaging minutes per word. He couldn't, typing was a big gig in the early 2000s. If you could get proficient in QWERTY. Dude, I think on my resume to this day,

I still have proficient in Microsoft Word, which is embarrassing that I'm just proficient. That's like a common thing though, right? I think it's just a resume. I bet you everybody's has it. I might not be. I had the Excel. I lied about that.

I didn't know Excel and then my first job, I planted Excel in front of me. Oh yeah, I would not know what to do. I would love a series of you just trying to work tech. I'm always like pissed off at how small the cells are, like giving me a little bit more space. Yeah, there's nothing you can do about it. Yeah Can we can we actually do a series I'm gonna bring in tech and you just have to work it Kyle versus from the beginning you put it to get you plug it in. Mm-hmm Okay, yeah, all right because I don't think you'd do well

No, I just I I just can't. It's because it's getting harder and harder. Yeah. Like the Roku TV. Oh yeah, nightmare. Like I scream at my television. How do people watch shows? I have to Google what specific app is this gonna be on?

Not channel, and then I have to find the app, then I open up Fubu, then I have to go to the search bar. Fubu. Do it again. Do it again, Fubo. Which again, shout out to Fubo, they have everything. How'd you forget it in two seconds? It's always Fubo.

And then you go to Fubo, and it's like, oh, I guess the game's on here, and then you pray it's on Fubo. You pray, you see it on the home screen. Then you search it. You search for the specific team you wanna watch on Fubo. And then a game from three weeks ago comes up and you're like, okay, let me try Paramount.

Nothing, just movies. Let me try Prime. Nothing. It's like, oh, this must be Peacock. That's how it works now for watching like a sporting event. Have you ever looked at Tubi? That's the one with like discount movies? They have the most disc- it's the Gabes of streaming services.

I think I've seen screenshots. Some of those Tubi movies are fucking hilarious. Titanic 666. Yeah. What's the one Pluto I always end up on fucking Pluto Pluto's an app yeah this is what I'm saying like all right that's how I watch Twilight yeah yeah yeah I guess we're just I think we're just we've fallen behind well then it's like oh no then it's like this one's actually on cluve and I have to like the fuck's active like bias Subscription to cluve and then you're you a clue. Yeah clue and I tried to

What you try to do man, I couldn't upgrade on Whatever the one the traders is on I couldn't upgrade to a premium account to get ad free. Just couldn't do it. Why not? It was too complex? Impossible. It was too complex?

Yeah. I can't cancel my newspaper subscription. I don't know how to do it. I'm stuck forever. The physical copy? Yeah. And there's probably stacking. And then I can't do, I do Wall Street Journal Digital.

And it says I have to cancel on the original computer that I made the account on I don't know which one that is That's that's not a tech issue. That's just a scam that they do. Yeah, I'm forever stuck with it It's like me a planet fitness. You're still a member. You can't cancel you just can't no I There was one gym. I was a member of in Morgantown and I paid for it just until the credit card expired didn't know how to do it at this point Yeah, James get crazy like if you just tell them you're moving they're like we need to see a deed Yeah, they asked for a deed. Yeah, it's insane dude. I uh I Tried to get out of equinox because I did that my first year here and I had to

Photoshop like hospital like I told him I was sick I Told him I was sick an IV. I was thinking about buzzing my head and going in And even then they'll be like you know exercise is good for that yeah, but I had to fake I felt really bad about it But you just get fucked Yeah, Jim's crazy. Yeah Anything else? Drake. Bracket Busters. Oh yeah. We're on Drake.

We're riding Drake. I didn't know they're like the slowest team ever. So... That sounds bad in a sport. Is it bad? In a running sport. But wouldn't that slow down the other team you know what it is I? Think they're like the slowest team of all time Nice yeah slowest pace according to Ken Pong yeah, it could be good Yeah, or it could be really bad, but that means we have to fucking watch

Yeah, Luke told me they they're defensive. They're a defensive unit Okay, it's gonna be a thrilling game. That's right with we're riding with the boys 40k on the line. That's a lot Mm-hmm. That's a lot Think about how many fucking cards that is how many Obama's like to the way the way I'm doing it Yeah, we can get some defective one. How many you wrap scallions you can farm an aoe? Oh, yeah We were playing Age of empires me Rudy white sucks David Moresh play age of empires like four hours every night and Moo copped into like our discord where we were talking to each other

And I said I was like he caught me at like my nerdiest moment I was like does the boar yield as much as Barry's and just it was so fucking embarrassing He was like oh, no my markets on fire And you were but you you were just clowning them, you weren't playing that shit either. I was kind of just taking it all in, because it was funny to see the boys that locked in. He's going for Nebula camo and Call of Duty,

which is just so fucking awesome. It's one of those things that- You're going for Nebula? Yeah, I'm going for Nebula. Ah, fuck you. That's pretty cool. We play probably 15 hours a week, and we only get worse. And it's's frustrating and it's the same game every time

I do the same thing every time and I can't stop playing then we argue like like you bicker like like grown I told maresh. I hate him Like genuine Rudy was like laughing so hard like maresh honestly as a person. I fucking hate you Cuz he snuck his monks into my walls and stole my relics That would get me. That would get me. Which is a move I did do one time and I felt pretty sour.

It was a sour piece of all the food. We all have these set relics around us and he just got his monastery built before me. I was already walled in, he was like, well you didn't have them. I didn't have the means to get them, I didn't have my monks yet. Oh well.

Well I want to play with you guys. Do you actually yeah, it kind of made me want to piss you guys off I think that's like the the gist of it is just Pissing you off and then all you have to do like you start the game You have a king you have to put the king in the castle and White Sox Dave forgets every single time And it's like oh my king got killed by a leopard And then cuz like we're just playing and and each game is like an hour and a half, and we just see 10 minutes into the game, White Sox Dave's been eliminated.

We're like, what the fuck? And you just hear him screaming, but it's never been his fault. He's like, I wasn't even close to the woods. What's a leopard doing there? It's ridiculous. It's a fun game. It's a fun game that I've never enjoyed playing and I'm not good at yeah

That's a lot of the funnest things yeah, yes You just have to swallow your pride enough Mm-hmm Just like mental crossfit like we're just sort of like mildly suffering and think we're cool. Yeah, I mean I'm legitimately Doing things that I hate so much in an attempt to enjoy life more. Like sprints. Are you doing sprints now? There's nothing worse than sprints.

That's a punishment. There is nothing in the world worse than sprints. Dude, you're going to church and sprinting. Oh, I did that the other day. You did it one day where you went to church and sprinted. I'm doing interval sprints, and I'm like, this is the worst thing ever. Like, this has to be such a net

Negative like I might feel like oh, I feel productive after that I did I did interval sprints yesterday, and I you did it yesterday Yes, why do you say oh you're I didn't know you were doing it, too I am because I'm getting fat and because all you do is eat, dude All you fucking do is eat you have the audacity to say you don't eat. We play Age of Empires four hours a night, five hours a night, and the entire time you're eating. But one time, it was 10.30 at night,

and I heard him eating. He was like, it's leftovers. I'm like, it's still fucking food. And then he was like, oh, I accidentally ordered. So leftovers are less calories. Yeah, and then he was like, oh my God, I accidentally ordered a gargantuan Jimmy John's sandwich. And then one time we heard him huffing and puffing,

he's like, insomnia's closed. All you do is eat, dude. It's because I don't eat during the day and you catch me during my feasting hours. Yeah, dude, your Adderall wears off and then you become ravenous. Before you even got to the bar on Saturday, you made Maresh put in a bunch of nachos.

I looked over Maresh's shoulder. Now you did. Because I saw, you sent Maresh a screenshot of the nachos you wanted you pre-ordered Yeah, you pre-order you pre-saved nachos Yeah, so you could walk in and they could be a holiday all you do is eat That's not true. You know that's not true. All you do is eat you just catch me when I'm eating in my hands Right so it seems like I'm eating longer, but yeah, I know that dude you take Your instead instead of ambient you'll do like three sandwiches like right before bed

Three like three sandwiches. I can't I can't sleep at all if I'm hungry and you're But like we're playing this game. I'm getting fucking butt fucked by fuck like the Moors and He's eating a sand and like I'm like Rudy sentry was like one second Chewing in my fucking ear got these Muslim men are ravaging my lands and Moresh is fucking stealing my oh You feast on like soybeans for dinner dude. Oh, that's all I can eat. Yeah It's oh my god. That's why you're upset and also age of empires playing with white socks Dave is like we all have our set resources

And I'll have like a gold gold mine And then I'll just hear somebody mining my gold and Dave will have like a little camp set up in my area Yeah, it's like I didn't know this was your place. You had to walk through three fucking gates Dave does like squatters rights. Yeah, it's crazy So you're not getting any better. You're not like you know we're getting worse Yeah, we're getting but you're not like are you progressing at something like reaching a goal or a milestone? We do the same thing every time you get pissed we're fighting against AI And we know what it's probably gonna do and every time we somehow lose heard

Then Nick I'll be honest Nick you're kind of a bitch like you that's a fair after what he said you Like okay sandwiches like their pills. I'll be getting sieged like you've never seen before I've yeah, I could my walls my walls are absolutely broken down if one Single horseman comes to his gate. He's like, oh my god. Oh no you backtrack. No, you triple walls I try yes because I was about to lose you were not even remotely. I had nothing left I had nothing left. He does this and he has the most money. He gets MVP every single time you get MVP every time That's the most gold. He is the most well, you have the most gold and you get MVP every time Yeah, and then you guys just if some if an enemy

goes near his border it is a five alarm fire Rudy I was like getting attacked by about 7,000 galleons and they were shooting arrows at my villagers and then the men started coming in and taking what was theirs and it was I couldn't stop it I had to watch and Rudy goes Nick stiffen your fucking upper lip and I was like dude shut the fuck up I'm losing that I didn't even know what that meant through this game I never said all we do is scream at each other stiffen your upper lip but I came in the next morning and apologized to Moresh one day yeah it sounds like you're dominating and are you, is he like sensitive to when?

We all fight. We all fight. The true, we fight and then we end up working together and it's fine, but the true concerning thing is is that Dave is getting better. Yeah. Like at the beginning it was like always fun. At the beginning it was funny. Dave doesn't know what he's doing.

Now Dave is like getting legitimately good at the game and there is a future where he surpasses us But there's one I remember playing with Dave when it started and like we all had like rows of musketeers And Dave comes with like a guy with a club like he was like so stuck in the past. Yes The entire discord was Nick being like I'm getting sieged more s like more actually like passive aggressively being like I guess I'll send some troops and I guess daddy will come yeah, and then Rudy with like a full sandwich being like he's eating the entire time It's during dinner. No, it's not 230 in the fucking morning. No, is that 230? No, it's not. Yes, dude. You've ordered barbecue at what are like before So what are you? you yes it is true

What are some of the meals you're eating? During games sweet green K-fire No, he'll say it's sweet green, and I hear the distinct crunch of Cool Ranch He'll be like it's sweet green, and then I'll hear a bag of cool ranch Dorita Hold breaker in World War two you can like dude no, but I sweet green Your mouth is full with like the densest of bread and you're like, it's sweet green.

They have bread at sweet green, dipshit. Dude, no, what you're getting, I think you had like a party sub one night. I did, yeah. You ordered a party sub. Listen, in the interest of fairness, I did. I'm fucking housed. You ordered a party sub?

But then I heard him talking to somebody in the office, he's like, what I do is I just don't eat. Like that's like I think you were talking to somebody about like weight loss. You said you don't eat. And it stopped me dead in my tracks. I don't eat majority of the day. It's the only thing you do.

Records at night. It's records at night. It's crazy. There there is the issue. It would I'm like yawning and I'm seeing the sunrise because we've been playing so long. Everybody's like, hey, can we pause it? My door dash is here. I'm like, what what I'm seeing the sunrise because we've been playing so long. Everybody's like, hey, can we pause it?

My door dash is here. I'm like, what could you possibly have gotten? I've entered into like a new, like I graze. No, you gorge. You're gorging, yeah. Rudy, I'm not gonna lie though, it's the best time to eat when it's like past midnight. Oh, you've tried to set, you've stopped yourself, right?

You cut out fast food? I cut out fried food. I'm still eating late, but I'm not, I'm eating like, fuck it, I'm chugging chicken and rice. That's been one of your chick. Yeah like slur chugging So much that's yeah, I mean I'm like I think I'm the only person ever to gain weight on Adderall Mook can we talk about what you had to do at the bar? What I have to do at the bar you left your date at the bar oh No, we were talking about this. I didn't know about this

Yeah, I had a date Saturday night pitched a perfect game besides spilling an entire espresso martini out at the table That's a no-hitter date on it's a first date on st. Patrick's Day is a wild wild boy also espresso martini and sushi is that? That's the strongest tummy move Good God, but you were breaking a long sobriety streak breaking a 21 day cleanse of no my god No fried food so celebrated with some sushi on st. Patrick's Day spilled a martini all over my jacket and on the ground at the restaurant and then The the beautiful angel the perfect angel wanted to come back to my apartment But I was not prepared for that so he told her to wait at the bar. Oh my god And the beautiful angel, the perfect angel, wanted to come back to my apartment,

but I was not prepared for that. So you told her to wait at the bar. Oh my God. And you had to go puff toilet paper. Oh my God. She was at the bar for half an hour alone while Moog was down the street cleaning. Did you tell her, like, what did you tell her?

I don't even know how you picked, yeah. I said I was not prepared for the situation, did not expect to get here, I thought you also we could have went To your apartment if that happened I need to go home and tidy up and I I how bad was it? She has to assume the worst the worst there was just clothes everywhere and my I didn't have toilet paper I was out of water and I didn't have didn't have Febreze or Lysol wipes. So I go puff that immediately, went home,

was in a full sprint around my apartment for 20 minutes, cleaning shit, and then yeah, she waited at the bar for 20 minutes. I'm gonna go prepare an LV. That's crazy. I guess that's better than the alternative of her just stepping into that. My buddy had a first date,

because he was my roommate at the time, and he went to the bathroom, took a shit, shaved his pubes into the toilet, and he forgot to flush. He had her come back, she walked in on a hairy turd. He forgot to flush his shit. Shit and pubes. And his pubes.

So she walks into the bathroom as soon as they get back to pee from the bar, and sees a log and his pubes floating in the toilet that's so like you and on picture like Actual hairy turds, I feel like Billy Bob Thornton without he has that Well, that's what did you hear what white socks Dave calls taking shit does to take every go let's go drop a rat drop I heard him say it on a stream. He's like I gotta drop a rat Why is that so much more disgusting than that's shit or anything? Yeah, which is already gross

Dropping a rat cuz you know the exact size and width of his turd. That's what it is. Yeah And you know it's like hanging on by the tail drops in. Ew, it's like a... It's like a snout shape. It's like a tail. The tail is like... Oh man. Dropping a rat.

Fucking horrible. So how'd it go after that mook? Ah, no comment. Sounds great. Like Kyle said, no hitter. What? That doesn't sound great then It was a good time you pitched a perfect game other than the spill you were just on like yeah great quick witted Well, he left the bar with us. He was with us. He said he had to go change to his big game pants, which was just I Would imagine like a $45 pair of dark wash jeans exactly?

You sent me a picture of them. Yeah, it's a pair of indigo denim. Hell. Yeah, I threw on the big game And another Philly sweatshirt you changed from one Philly sweatshirt to another. Yeah, my best fit and Yeah, well it went well you attribute that to like the sobriety and diet or a hundred is on I've never been more clear-minded You're sharp crazy how that does banter was good ordered Spectacular order that's you able especially at a sushi place. That's huge. Yeah, I just I wouldn't know what to do Took the wheel ordered five different plates called a game Wrap Wow you like took it you took over took over. Yeah, I was it is so on it

I always do like no you tell me what you want. That's unattractive, right? I guess so. I don't make decisions. You go, I'll take anything. That's what I do every time. I had her try an exotic fish, brother. I gotta say, I'm doing that. Yeah, you had her slurp an eel.

Yeah, I did. Yeah, nice. Anything else? That's all I got. Cool, we are in New York next week. Yeah. So we'll be with some of the boys there. Yeah.

It'll be fun. Alright. Kyle, sign us off. Well, that's it.