A New Untold Story - Cat Aquarium - A New Untold Story: Ep. 404

Episode Date: July 11, 2024

pinot grigio, cat talk, and even some bonus kody time. Ads: Gametime - Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code UNTOLD for $20 off your first purcha...se (terms apply). Factor - Head to https://FACTORMEALS.com/kb50 and use code kb50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month. Mando - Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @shop.mando and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code ANUS at shopmando.com! #mandopodYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, a new untold story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcast, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad free on Amazon Music. Kyle, you want to clap? Yep. Passing off the reins. That was pretty good. Was it good enough? Again.
Starting point is 00:00:23 That was good. You mean you got your reply to what I'm going to say? No, you're just going to say, no, that's a new untold story. enough again that was good It's a fresh, baked, untold story. A new untold story, episode 503. 404. Shit. Guess what it is. Error. That's another code. No, the area code code I can give you two hands, okay?
Starting point is 00:01:08 Well, I want one Atlanta I feel like that was more than I had excited Atlanta Friend of the podcast Atlanta mentioned them more than any other metro area yes, and A friend of the podcast. Atlanta. You mentioned them more than any other metro area. Yes. And probably one of the most culturally significant cities
Starting point is 00:01:29 in the world, despite its smaller population. Easily. And I think, is Atlanta the city that produces a disproportionate amount of a specific type of celebrity? Meaning what? Like rappers. Yes. Every rapper is from Atlanta? Like, rappers. Yes. Every rapper is from Atlanta.
Starting point is 00:01:48 Atlanta, Chicago has some. B.O.B, Ra, CeeLo, Beano. Outkast. Yeah. A lot. Wait, are you going somewhere with this? Every famous rapper is from Atlanta. Okay, yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:04 Yeah, there's a lot. Playboy. Playboy Cardi, Beano, that was a deep pull by you. Yeah. Homicide Beano, mm-hmm. A lot of them, Young Thug, Lil Keed, Rest In Peace. Have you ever been? I've never been.
Starting point is 00:02:17 Beautiful Skyline. Beautiful Skyline, the largest percentage of tree canopy coverage. No kidding. Yeah, so it's beautiful Wow Obviously a film like at the Hollywood of the South and are you ready for a fun fact sure Atlanta is west of Detroit Or if I've seen that I'm really yes west of Detroit no no no no no no no no no
Starting point is 00:02:42 I think young thug knows that I bet you he tells people that no I bet you we need to tell him that you want to send a letter to young thug in prison I would like to see different Atlanta rappers react to that fact that would be an awesome react future future react smile Perfect, and then do you think they give a fuck dude? There's no way You're seeing it right here It's more west than the entire continent of South America So on that no on that map Detroit is further west in Atlanta, but I don't know if no that's Lansing Detroit is on like yeah, yeah Detroit's on the left. Okay my bad. Yeah
Starting point is 00:03:20 Damn by like a mile 21 wouldn't give a shit. bet he'd care I would tell him that he'd be like who that future with in the sexiest most dehydrated voice would be like unbelievable that's crazy slip on fucking coilil Aray's Pussy Juice. What? But save himself cool. Yeah, how would he, has he ever done anything embarrassing? No, he's like the most, right? Yeah, he is very smooth.
Starting point is 00:03:56 He is very smooth. I mean, he is like most famous lyric is talking about having sex with Larsa Pippen and Gucci flip flops. That's cool. Yeah. That is cool. It's almost like a challenge. I feel like Gucci flip-flops. That's cool. Yeah. That is cool. It's almost like a challenge.
Starting point is 00:04:07 I feel like Gucci flip-flops would be a difficult thing. Any sort of flip-flop is probably tough to fuck in. Yeah. You could get fucked in flip-flops, but you can't fuck in flip-flops, I imagine. Undoubtedly. Right. Now there's Russian dudes I beg to differ.
Starting point is 00:04:18 Yeah, Russian dudes can weigh, Russian dudes can probably do more in flip-flops than most men can do in combat boots. Yes. And they're like the most beat flip-flops than most men could do in combat boots And they're like the most beat flip-flops. Oh, yeah, like those the impulse purchase flip-flops at Old Navy like those guys It's like it's like they're a little bit smaller than their feet and they will do they are they're always always too small. Yeah And they'll do whatever they want in them whatever they want They've done tours of war in the free flip-flops from like a flight I mean and Russia is not a flip-flop flip-flop friendly place no in the slightest not even close
Starting point is 00:04:54 It's freezing cold For the most part yeah, it's Russian dudes and samurais when you ask a Russian is Russia European or Asian They'll say it's Russian they don't claim either either continent yeah quite interesting hmm quite interesting what else you got for a 404 hmm Atlanta I forgot like all of the best rappers yeah first All right next next yeah, I Had so we watched that JLo movie and reacted to it. We watched salt burn and we reacted to it Yeah, I thought those were hard watches No, easy watch. I found the hardest watch in the world in t-shirt
Starting point is 00:05:44 And I called Kyle and I said drop everything you're doing. Yeah and watch found the hardest watch in the world. And I called Kyle and I said, drop everything you're doing and watch this. The hardest watch of all time. And before I start clowning, I will say if I was in this position, I probably wouldn't do well either. I could never even get myself in this position. I'm talking about season two,
Starting point is 00:06:01 episode one of Celebrity Jeopardy. And for the unfamiliar, Celebrity Jeopardy is like Jeopardy, except celebrities play and the questions are significantly. Significantly, significantly, significantly easier. And they had a guest on Celebrity Jeopardy, Emily Hawthorne. Hampshire. Hampshire. She's in Schitt's Creek. Is she? Yeah. But she's not like the main. she you know he's a scientist I I
Starting point is 00:06:29 Have it all written down I Watched it a few times because it blew My mind how hard and again before I clown make fun of lampoon. She was sweet She was sweet as hell charming. She was very nice and It would be nerve-racking to even be on celebrity Jeopardy as an honor Lampoon she was sweet. She was sweet as hell charming. She was very nice and It would be nerve-racking to even be on celebrity Jeopardy is an honor. Yeah, that's something none of us could ever achieve She's she did it But who boy it was?
Starting point is 00:07:02 Unbelievable it was unbelievable at one point in time the other two guests had like $35,000 $16,000 she was sitting at like $35,000 $16,000 she was sitting at negative $2,000 and these were these guys were playing for charity Yeah, so I don't know if the jeopardy took that money from the charity when she was done. Oh, yeah, she's negative 2,000 but it was I Cringed all the way through it and I cringed so hard for so long I missed stuff that I refound when I was watching through so I have a game for Mook and booty Yeah, I am going to ask you the questions
Starting point is 00:07:36 Some of the ones that she missed uh-huh, and I don't want you guys to try and get the question right Because that would be far too easy. Yeah, I want you guys to try and guess What Emily said which I like this? And we were not understating this imagine if like Pat star played an exaggerated version of himself on SNL Pat star the spongebob yeah Okay, yeah, that's an easy one. Thank you. Yeah. All right now. I get it She should have been playing against Pat star And knuckles Emily didn't get one right until the end of the second round
Starting point is 00:08:17 They even added a third round of triple jeopardy and the crowd erupted. She should have played against derpy hoo from my little pee Yeah, okay, so you want us to go like full idiot mode. We got to go full Emily. I'm not calling her an idiot Okay, I'm saying maybe she was nervous Okay All right, this was ants for 100 One of the categories was like animal sounds and the question was like this sound that a dog makes is also a layer of a tree.
Starting point is 00:08:50 And none of them guessed. All right, so category is ants. For 100, which is the base level. Ants inhabit every continent except this one, which ironically begins with ant. What is Antarctica? That's correct, you did it wrong. Sorry, fuck. You were too excited that you did it. I was too excited. except this one, which ironically begins with Ant. What is Antarctica? That's correct, you did it wrong.
Starting point is 00:09:06 Sorry, fuck. You were too excited that you did it. I was too excited. Yeah, you've never had that feeling before. Sorry, okay, sorry, I didn't go Emily mode. I was gonna say like, Which is weirdly dumb. I don't know, like Japan?
Starting point is 00:09:20 France. She said Antonopolis. Oh. Hardest watch of all time, and this was like the first question, and the other guys like look at her. Antonopoulos Oh Hardest watch of all time and this was like the first question and the other guys like look at her and they're not quite sure Because she went ah oh, I don't know and then she just blurted that out an awful But that requires her hitting the button. Yeah, she she had the confidence to buzz her in got it chicken for 500
Starting point is 00:09:42 for a flavorful chicken marsala, chefs recommend using real Marsala, a wine made in this Italian island. What is syrup? You thought that... Kyle, do you know what she said? Wait, wait, wait, no. I thought it was from which island it came from. It is. Okay. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh Okay This one isn't as good. She just said Marsala back
Starting point is 00:10:08 And then the guys are like what what's going on? I was gonna say like Mars like she misses a lot more Meditation for 400 the Atlantic described this four-letter meditation app as one of the most popular apps in existence What is uber? Now that would have been more right no she said headspace I Can't even do and now everybody's like everybody's like they're not even reacting, but she keeps fucking guessing She keeps guessing does she have was she embarrassed at all? No.
Starting point is 00:10:47 I don't know, but Ken wanted to tie her up. What do you mean by that? Ken was, like Ken wasn't, like he, I think you were supposed to like joke around at least. Yeah. And he wasn't having. He couldn't even do that. And then she got like a little embarrassed.
Starting point is 00:11:02 And then she finally got a question and she got to pick the next category. And she finally gets confidence, and she's like, airport stores for $12,000. And Ken's like, I think you mean $1,200. And then in the break, her fun fact was that she could rap the presidents. Ken asked her, so how did you prepare? She learned the presidents in order. Yeah, and then she started rapping the presidents. Well, Ken asked her, so how did you prepare? Yeah. She learned the
Starting point is 00:11:25 presidents in order. Yeah, and then she started rapping the presidents. Yeah. And then there was a question about a president of Egypt and she was like, oh hold on, let me do the rap. And he's like, I don't think it will help for Egypt. He's like, it hurts to watch. Most painful watch ever. This one though Hello made my came me made my toes curl Yeehaw Penolos are Hawaii's equivalent of these workers also a name of a Texas pro sports team First off can you guys guess? Really guess yes yeehaw Rangers
Starting point is 00:12:00 Cowboys yeah, yeah, but that Rangers as an okay guess. Yeah, either one. What did she say? Aloha. Not even, not even alohas. No, she said aloha. And at this point she has hardly any money. She's well in the negatives. Everybody else is like getting it now and has more money than most Jeopardy winners get because it's so easy.
Starting point is 00:12:23 Who are the other celebrities a mark duplass? He did creep the league And utkarsh Indian actor rapper he won world's sexiest 38 year old something like that I'm gonna be honest like I know I'm a dumb guy But I had trouble getting in that like brain set for her answers It's impossible and there was Alaska for 300 Alaska has more of these birds than any other state That's even counting the ones on the back of the quarters
Starting point is 00:12:53 What is a? Pigeon owls human owls, and then she's sitting at like minus 2500 final Jeopardy comes if you're in the negatives you don't get to participate in Final Jeopardy. Ken just wouldn't put the dog down. And he's like, you know what? We're gonna give you $500 to bet so you can get a little bit of money for your charity. He staked her?
Starting point is 00:13:15 Yeah. So they took her out of the negatives. They gave her $500 for Final Jeopardy so she could just get some money for her charity. And it was astronomy discovered discovered in the 60s and 70s Cygnus x1 was the first of these light-trapping gravitational bodies of bodies to be identified What is earth? Oh, man? Oh, what she guessed? Okay?
Starting point is 00:13:45 Can you guess you know the right answer you know it huh you know the right answer. I didn't even listen I was just like Discovered in the 60s and 70s Cygnus x1 was the first of these light trapping gravitational bodies black hole yes discovered in the 60s and discovered in the 1970s 1960s and 1970s Okay, she hit it. She had a little doodle. Don't tell me she said flat earth. She said what is stars? What is star what is so and she bet all 500 charity wasn't getting shit her charity was like LGBT so they lost money and I I searched on
Starting point is 00:14:20 Twitter Emily what's her like? What's her name Emily? She Emily Emily Hampshire celebrity jeopardy not too many tweets about it Daniel Converse hard to watch Emily Hampshire on celebrity jeopardy episode. She's beyond retarded There she is not to be mean, but I think she has a disability It was a horrible It was tough for her it was tough for her and like even like women were turning against her And she was like You have this woman was just like you have to be especially foul ignorant sort of person to be that bad at celebrity Jeopardy
Starting point is 00:14:59 She called her foul and ignorant I think she was sweet. I thought she was sweet as sweet. I'm not saying anything. Sweet as a plum tree. I think she was. Yeah. Yeah. But if you guys want, I'm not joking, the hardest watch of all time, because everybody else has to be laughing and having fun.
Starting point is 00:15:17 So it's just silence. It's awkward. It is the hardest season two, episode one celebrity Jeopardy. Get Huluulu pay it mm-hmm Maybe do it as like a litmus test with a date mook see if she like it's a great understands And if your dates right cringing yeah, no cuz one of the categories is animal sounds I mean the am one was crazy all of them were top alice and top of us But God God bless her soul. Yeah. Emily.
Starting point is 00:15:46 But she's a very, obviously a very successful actress. Yeah. You don't need to know things to be a good actress. I kind of like place them in like an intellectual superior category. I don't know why I do that, but I do too. I think the take, like I think it takes. I think it's because they take themselves seriously. I think they, I think that they are very good at speaking well.
Starting point is 00:16:06 And they seem like when they dig into a character, they're just describing somebody. They take themselves very seriously. Yeah, it's guys that play make believe. Like I think Shia LaBeouf is a genius. These guys are pretending. And they were like, yeah, you guys, who are you endorsing for president?
Starting point is 00:16:21 This is somebody that plays pretend all day. Right. Mm-hmm whatever I can't wait to watch that it's impossibly it's I don't think most people can make it through to the point where like I was cringing so hard and like I had like a really devious evil smile my partner looked at me and they were like please don't talk about this on the podcast. I was like, I won't.
Starting point is 00:16:46 Why, for the sake of women? Just for, it's almost too easy. It's too mean. It's an easy target. It's too, too mean. I think it's just important to study this. I just think- People like this deserve to be-
Starting point is 00:17:01 Kudos to her for having the confidence. Right. If Ants for 100 was the first thing, I would have never said a word the rest of the show Antonopolis I'm still trying to understand that it's what fucking amphibian begins with salamander They said she would have missed colors that end with salami That's maybe can you do you are you logged into Hulu? Maybe you guys can just react to one of them all right? Hardest watch hardest watch all right little interruption of the show to talk about one of my most used apps
Starting point is 00:17:34 I think it just surpassed calculator for me game time yeah, it's uh So easy to use so fast open it up pick out whatever event you wanted to go, comedy, play, concert, game. Get your tickets lowest prices guaranteed. If the prices do go down, you get a 100%, 10% refund. Incredible. I genuinely use it often.
Starting point is 00:17:59 Get them whenever, get them before, during, after. I can go see the Pittsburgh Pirates playing the White Sox this week, and I can get the tickets when they're in the fifth inning for dirt cheap. Dirt cheap. And I go for the best part of the game. Listen, if you're going to an event, use Game Time.
Starting point is 00:18:17 Why not? That's a good ass tagline. Anyways, take the guesswork out of buying tickets with Game Time. Download the game time app Create an account use code untold for $20 off your first purchase Terms apply download the game time app today last minute tickets lowest price is guaranteed Tell him Nick and Kyle and Rudy and MOOC sent you and Reid and Luke and
Starting point is 00:18:40 Mother Teresa, no everybody sent you All right. Yeah, just so you guys can hear the delivery. Again, don't clown her. Never. She was nervous. Mm-hmm. And she's good at a ton of other things. And knows what a zamboni is.
Starting point is 00:18:55 Yes, I do. Yeah. Unfair advantage. Select again. Let's go with ants for 100. Ants inhabit every continent except this one, whose first syllable ironically is ant. Emily. Let's go with ants for 100. Ants inhabit every continent except this one, whose first syllable ironically is ant, Emily.
Starting point is 00:19:09 Oh, boy, I antinopolis. Pfft. Sorry now, Mark. What is Antarctica? That's the... Oh, and he got it. He's... Let's go.
Starting point is 00:19:20 Oh, it's the hardest, hardest watch, guys. I don't know why, but the way she was holding her button, I been there you start you start a sentence you get excited and you don't know where you're going But that you shouldn't you should know that one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and you can see I don't know why but her holding the button Like it was like she's a terrorist ready to bring to pop a bomb is so funny to me Everyone else's has a good posture. Do you think anybody in this office is missing that question? Yes. Yeah. People don't know.
Starting point is 00:19:51 Like we found out people don't know states. People don't know continents. But this is I feel like ye. But that's. That they give you ant and you can put it together. So like who is messy getting it right? Mincy is Mincy is it right? Mincy is. Mincy is fine.
Starting point is 00:20:07 Do you want to test? Yeah, I do. Okay. I grab a random person out there. I feel like Goldfinger might still miss it. Goldfinger still doesn't know it. Yeah. What about the, who, who's on the cusp?
Starting point is 00:20:25 Malisek. No. Yes. No, Malisek. Malisek is weirdly ignorant and he would make an argument. He would be like, well, yeah, it's America, but that's not technically a sovereign state. He would just go on this like four minute tire and be like, I know why I don't talk to you. He would be really annoying with it.
Starting point is 00:20:41 Yeah, he would just go. Yeah. Yeah. So that was that was I like almost ruined my appetite. And it was Mississippi pot roast night. And I had to deal with it. The hell was that? Mississippi pot roast?
Starting point is 00:20:54 Yeah. Crock-pot dish. Did you prepare it? I didn't do shit. Did you do the dishes? I did do the dishes. You did? Yeah, I cleaned out the crock-pot.
Starting point is 00:21:04 Gotta do what you gotta do. One up and me, but I've been like going home I'm just complaining cuz I'm the middle of brining my armpits right now And so I can't look at this with you see you hear what he's on. Yeah, I don't like that's that's the equivalent of Antonopolis no, it's not you're brining your armpits. Yeah, dude I'm rubbing the salt stick on them every night for what reason it's killing all the odor making things in my skin No aluminum that would be better. It's a stone of potassium that I'm rubbing on my armpits after I run it under the sink 30 seconds, and what do you feel like after that? It's burns mentally though. I feel like I'm doing something right I feel like I'm hacking your bio hacking yeah now by like naturally rubbing a under my armpits, and then I was doing a research on it and
Starting point is 00:21:49 People there was like they were like this is like the best thing you can do and it's proven to work This one specific country has been doing it forever, and it's the last country. You'd want to be doing it India You're brining your armpits like in front of your partner Or do you go into a separate room? I would rather be caught jerking off. Yeah, I'm Yeah Dude, you're 6-3 with eternal weight and infinite tap You don't need to be doing weird shit like this But I'm just go be my armpits won't be able to be a go be a top tier man
Starting point is 00:22:27 What are you talking about? Go home and brine your armpits and like I am I am a top whatever the fuck else you do I can't be a top tier man if I have stinky armpits my armpits won't ever be able to produce odor That's great. That's the perfect man and I disagree why dude must is important no it's not what when those we take away those fair I think yeah might you might you might be scared you're gonna lose oh no if I'm not able to produce odor I still got a stinky asshole feelings become distant yeah no dude I'm brining and I'm you guys should all do it too and one stick lasts up to
Starting point is 00:23:02 four years it's great for the no waste community I think my mind goes to pickles. Yeah much like a pickle. What does that even mean brining? I'm brining. I'm salting my armpits I'm turning them into jerky. He's curing it. I'm curing my armpits so they can't produce and That's so wack. It's not wack. Dude, I have a sick-ass crystal in my bathroom. If you're like, what's that? I'll rub it underwater and just, krrrk. It's not a sick-ass crystal.
Starting point is 00:23:29 It's your armpit crystal. It's my armpit crystal. Witches don't even do this shit. Dude, you're rubbing fucking aluminum. You have aluminum in your blood. No, I don't. I use aluminum-free. Yeah, and I bet you smell like fucking dog shit.
Starting point is 00:23:40 I smell like a normal person. I don't even have a scent. I don't even have a scent. I'm the purest man. I don't need have a sense. I don't even have a scent I'm the purest man. I don't need a mask because I can't even do it any I can't even produce stink Now I go old spice under the armpits Irish spring on the body. What are you trying to hide man? Just a rom just being a man That's my that's trying to yeah More gin a musk is masculine even if it's not like completely bad or odorous like yeah, I think dude. I'm going to store I'm going to say women one of women one of must I'm going to be able to sneak up on anybody
Starting point is 00:24:14 That is true. Yes, that is true not a smell You guys we found out no one's ever like we're not like a German Shepherd No one's ever been like if someone's sneak and that's smelled trust me I The best data the best time to start brining is now, is what I always say. I'm never going to do that. You'll regret it. 10 years down the road, you'll wish you started.
Starting point is 00:24:39 I had a buddy get plastic surgery under his armpits. Like Botox injections, cause you can't sweat. That's gay. Yeah. Yeah. Finally. Finally. Dude, plastic surgery?
Starting point is 00:24:53 I'm rubbing an ancient stone under my armpits. He like had to get it though. It was like an issue. Was he bad? It was an issue. Dude, and like that's why if you go to India, it's fresh Oh, I smell nothing yeah, even with the heat. Thank God all these stones. Uh-huh. Yeah, like look up just like it's a potassium alum Alum yeah, I just go to images
Starting point is 00:25:21 Yeah, that's my deodorant That's my deodorant. Yeah, man. That's my deodorant, dude. No, not. Dude, I'm hacking. I'm cracking the code. If anything, you should rub it on your gooch. I bet you, I bet you the number one complaint from women or top five, we'll say top five. I don't want to be crazy. Mm hmm. Is smell from a man I
Starting point is 00:25:49 Am literally incapable of creating that Kudos Nikki let me smell your armpits no because it takes a little bit It takes a little bit No, okay, it takes a little bit of time how long uh? Everybody's different No, mine looks like the one to the left far left. It's not no no up up. That's what I'm rubbing. Yeah, dude They just like shave it down That's what I'm rubbing. Yeah? Yeah, dude.
Starting point is 00:26:22 They just like shave it down. I'm the perfect man. You guys are literally spending how much, do you know how much money deodorant is? 4.99, that's gonna last me five years. And I won't be able to produce, what? Nothing. I'm doing real man shit.
Starting point is 00:26:41 Like what? I got addicted to. This is dead serious. Addicted to Pinot Grigio. Fuck yeah. You're an alcoholic. Specific, no. This is like specifically Pinot Grigio.
Starting point is 00:26:55 But that's still an alcoholic if you're just one type of alcohol. No, I feel like it's a more mature. It is. It's a more mature, because it's only. No, no, no. That's an alcoholic.
Starting point is 00:27:03 It's not alcohol as a whole. No, it's Pinot Grigio. But that is alcohol. I've been addicted to alcohol, and that's cumbersome, that's a mess. Now it's just Pinot Grigio, and I love it. How often you having Pinot? Wait, that's not messing your drink, you're drinking only Pinot?
Starting point is 00:27:17 It's not, why, it's Pinot Grigio, it's Pinot Clock, it's Pinot Clock. Ew. There's no way Pinot is ever touching my lips. Pinot? I disagree-gio. There's no way Pino is ever touching my lips. Pino? I disagree. But it's weird because all other wines, especially reds, make my palate wince in my irises seed. But Pino Grigio is perfect.
Starting point is 00:27:38 How much Pino you have in a day? I'm guzzling it, glasses after glasses. Is it your number one drink? I didn't do it today, but I will Have you ever done over break over break? It was in the more I'd wake up and Pino What's happening that you're an alcoholic I don't know about that because it's just not like I'm craving vodka Yeah, that's still alcohol right like and I I made a reddit account Geo Geo dude the pinot grigio loving geography nerd who fucking hates humidity. You know Geo dudes a Pokemon
Starting point is 00:28:14 I know it's a play on that so you're geos you know I tried like do replying in geography threads like facts and stuff any fun It's not got no action. So yeah Have you gotten drunk off the pinot or is it just you're just sipping Pino? No, it takes a while. That's because you have a tolerance. I know. I know. But are you addicted? No, no, just dependent rely. He's a fan of it.
Starting point is 00:28:40 But I've been healthy as fuck to like burning lots of calories, working out like a mad man. I joined East Bank Club. Okay. This is the first time I've been odd by grander since moving to Manhattan Like I had a panic attack. It's not I thought it was like a big gym It's more than that. Where is oh, yeah, it's right down the street from me. It has all those tennis courts, right? Yeah, like I walked in and like oh, this is like a mall There's like a supermarket and I walk upstairs. there's a bar in a restaurant has a pino The obamas went there it's crazy like i felt like i didn't belong did you did you have to like planet fitness Did you have to send a picture to get in i do apply i had to get a picture taken
Starting point is 00:29:22 My girlfriend caught me taking a picture of myself to apply for Soho House. Which was one of the more embarrassing things. That's so embarrassing, dude. It was horrible. But then there's like, it's almost too much. Like I just wanna play with the toys. Like I just wanna do pull-ups. There's like apparatuses that people put their legs in.
Starting point is 00:29:42 There's like pods that people go into. Are you gonna experiment with? Any of those like you can get you can get a full Full leg wax for men or you can get a half leg wax, which I don't know what that would be for What there's like a hydra massages, then there's elite hydro massages is it extra Yeah, I just feel out of place, but I want an elite hydra massage. I don't know It's too much. So you went there you had I went there No, I didn't even I didn't do that, but I went there and just did what I could do at Planet Fitness
Starting point is 00:30:15 So now I'm like I'm wasting money. Is it like a year minimum membership to probably And you did you buy two memberships And you did you buy two memberships? I mean for you and your girl we tried to get the partners pass, but we don't we didn't qualify On what grounds I think you have to be married It has to be true love I actually heard through the grapevine that you were at East Bank and I was gonna ask you about it You heard I heard somebody saw him. Somebody saw him there. So I heard for the grapevine. I was talking I was like Oh, I need a new gym. I'm moving. I don't have a gym in my building anymore like where should I go like?
Starting point is 00:30:47 What are the good gyms? I was like you know I heard KB. No one said that really I'm not even kidding someone's like someone did greet me at the door They're like that's KB while I was trying to get in let him in and I was I felt like Tyga East Bayn Club is a is Borderline cult, but it is it's yeah, I felt like I I should be using that money to like give instead Now dude yeah, give those arms to those fucking dumbbells dude. I'm so I'm so tired of trying to be ripped Are you gonna? But I can't I can't give it up. That's the thing have you gone out to the brickyard. I don't
Starting point is 00:31:22 Yeah, I don't even there's all these things. There's so many nooks Have you gone out to the brickyard? I don't yeah, I don't even there's all these things. There's so many nooks What's the shop? There's a pool right there's pools? They wash your car you pools hey, there's a dry clean it wash your car Like there's a lot of unnecessary shit, but there is a outdoor pool deck with a pool bar You guys can come to I got guest passes with a DJ now Saturday What the fuck dude that's what I'm saying I felt like this something I don't deserve this is it a financially irresponsible decision yeah okay I'm good at those oh my god yeah I want to be in this is that
Starting point is 00:32:00 the weekend yeah the weekend dude that we get to in there. That bicycle room looks like Tomorrowland. Yeah, I know. Does the weekend teach spin classes there? Maybe. Look at that. Yeah. I went three times was it around the hours. It's super crowded, but it's so massive that it doesn't feel crowded. A lot of like wedding all stars and geezerer gazers though, which I don't like Wait, explain both actually a
Starting point is 00:32:29 Wedding all-star is a type of dude. I just caught a whiff of myself and I smell really bad. I Lifted my arm. I'm taking a drink You smell like a potato I smell like salted armpit this sucks no no You don't want to agree salted I smell like salted armpit this sucks No, no Don't want to agree salted Dude that's so late. What is it? No, it's fine. Yeah, this seems like something you would get into If it was bad for you, you'd like it yeah, they made your head feel heavy. If there was a side effect. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:07 I want to get in on this, dude. Wait, what's a geezer-gazer? A geezer-gazer? It's like an old dude who just stares at you. It's so annoying. Athletic clubs. I thought the young bulls were bad. The old dudes will just like, they'll be working out next to you and just lock in a stair But with like a mean face, and yeah, you don't know if it's that because they're deteriorating or if they just don't give a fuck Anymore it's bizarre yeah, and hating on wedding all-stars is kind of coming from a place of insecurity
Starting point is 00:33:35 But it's like the dude who's tall handsome perfectly groomed always looking looking like He's ready for a wedding picture the type of dude who loves taking wedding pictures with a group of equally handsome Yeah, perfectly groomed The only time you catch him is right after a loves wearing suits. Yeah. Yeah, I know exactly no substance No, yeah, the gym by me You get a young person's discount under 30 and if you're over 30, it's like double That's sad. Brutal.
Starting point is 00:34:07 None of us get it. No. We're old. We're old. You know how I know you're old? Cause you're Kip's age from Napoleon Dynamite. Kip was 32? Yeah, he was 32. Oh no.
Starting point is 00:34:18 I remember watching as a kid, I'd be like 32 is so old. And I could easily picture him, if they had done a sequel, he would have been brining his armpits. That's 32. So I was, oh fuck. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:33 Yeah. I'm not that far off from that look. No. I just wanna get into it. Get into the old. We're in the decade where it's coming, like our faces are gonna just. Well, you don't really fit in anywhere.
Starting point is 00:34:44 I can't go to anywhere. Nowhere's fun for me right now. Yeah, oh, I'm too old to be here. Oh, I'm there right here Like what do we can't go to Lollapalooza? No Or can we? That gives me an idea we can we can we would be the oldest by 20 years We can we can we would be the oldest by 20 years Yeah, it'd be so bad the thing is I feel like those places the only guys that are 30 or only They they come in like they're a tactical team the 30 year olds there Yeah, bring like some any blow off 30 year olds that go to young bars come in there with a plan Everything is like choreographed. Yeah, it's like an itinerary
Starting point is 00:35:26 They have like a call sheet like a quarterback choreographed. Yeah, it's like an itinerary. They have like a call sheet, like a quarterback on their arm. I suppose that's just us. Every time we all go out together, which is often. Yeah. Shit. Yeah, we're old, bro. We're old.
Starting point is 00:35:37 Are you moving soon, Rudy? Yeah. In like days. Yeah, everything's within days, technically, so. Suck on that, bitch. Yeah? But within short amount of days? Yeah, no, I'm behind. Do you own a single box yet?
Starting point is 00:35:52 No, but the beauty of Amazon, those things will appear, they'll just appear out of nothing. You're not gonna get it, you're not gonna get your deposit back? I'll be fine. I only thrive in crisis. All right. But yeah, I'm be fine. I Only thrive in crisis All right. Yeah, but yeah, I'm moving again
Starting point is 00:36:08 I should be better at it cuz I've moved I think eight times in the last like ten years Yeah, I moved a lot. That's crazy. Yeah, I moved a lot, but I think six I were stacking memories Can you turn this off like when you're at dinner with like your aunt Can you turn this off like when you're at dinner with like your aunt? I'm very good at acting normal. I was convincing. Have you ever slipped up and said some, you know, you sounded like walking Phoenix talking to his therapist. No, I don't.
Starting point is 00:36:43 I'm actually, I just turned into a shy guy. I'm a shy one in my family in my can't be outgoingly normal. I can be like introverted normal besides my sister I'm the youngest cousin and everybody's like oh like Nick's never talked. Yeah, I'm the guy I get so shy around cousins and aunts. Oh, yeah, I don't speak Unless oh no, and I'm afraid like they're gonna fucking hate me No, and I'm afraid like they're gonna fucking hate me And I talked to twice a year yeah Kyle
Starting point is 00:37:17 You're an eater I'm an eater Well, I'm an eaters eater. You're an eaters eater. Yeah. Yeah, I can eat the other eaters are like Kyle yeah, I can eat. The other eaters are like Kyle. Yeah, I can eat. And let's talk about Factor. Okay. Their meals are so good. Yeah, some aren't the healthiest, but some are. What?
Starting point is 00:37:39 All the factors are pretty good for you. They're all pretty healthy, but if you want something that's less healthy, you can indulge with factor. Yes Yes, you can if you want something really healthy that tastes amazing factor as well is taste the most important part of your food for you Or is it health factor is both. It's both in one. Yeah. Mm-hmm. It's the best I've had some of their cheeses and it's so good. Yeah? The cheese they use, yeah. Is it fresh?
Starting point is 00:38:06 I think they make their own, I don't know. Straight out of Wisconsin probably. Good stuff, factor. Head to factormeals.com slash KB50 and use code KB50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month. Good deal. Yeah, it's an incredible deal.
Starting point is 00:38:23 Use code KB50. Yeah, at factormeals.com slash KB50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month while your subscription's active. Some other, this, getting called the slur again. You are. It might be the dude. I had that in my notes update on that.
Starting point is 00:38:44 He said, you're, this guy key DM me. You're a giant fucking Come on and say something. I'm in Gold Coast Dude and he's like gambling Torney me verse you person who hits the most bets in a night wins 30k Look back he was a call me that word since 2022. Oh my god. He's hated you for a while really that really I don't like that I Think he's trying to be friends Yeah, but he's been saying it a lot Kind of has me reverse inspired. I had this dude Douglas DM. He was like hey, I saw you in Lake Geneva, I'm gonna tickle you and
Starting point is 00:39:28 Then he it was like late at night when he sent that and the next morning He was like meeting you this weekend was awesome. I just want to clear things up I was drunk when I DM'd you and I said I would tickle you that's still the case Wait so you met him I guess Did you feel him? No, well also if he tries to tickle me Wait, so you met him? I guess. Did you feel him? No. Well also, if he tries to tickle me,
Starting point is 00:39:48 I'm pretty sure I don't have nerve endings in my armpits anymore. Yeah. There you go. Try as he might. Try as he might. What else? You were home, right?
Starting point is 00:39:58 Or you were in Jersey? Jersey, yeah. Is that where you were born? Yeah, New Brunswick. People forget about that. I know. I know know you don't claim I'm West Virginia yeah you don't rep Jersey other than the Jets yeah do you have fun yeah I was playing with toy cars like the toy car tracks these days
Starting point is 00:40:19 are lights out really like yeah loops you would love them I'm sure I would they've but that technology was there when we were younger hot wheels. Yeah, I never got into it I had a little face. I wanted them, but never I still have my hot wheels and a bunch of other toy cars And I wanted to glue to my roof, but then I got shamed out of it so But now I have a new idea. I bought a hot wheel sure I was bought somebody bought me a hot wheel for Like two months ago. It was a wheelchair though. Oh, that's fine Yeah, yeah, but I have a new idea for my new apartment, so there's this it's this okay, so Before you say anything yeah, this is gonna suck Because I remember you don't know we were at the bar once and you were like hey
Starting point is 00:41:03 I have an idea for my place, and you ran it by us You're like I want to glue a bunch of cars to the sea Yeah, what is gonna be like a sandbox you want you you want sand don't you so there's a it is Listen listen bro. You can't even talk dude you're salting your armpits. That's so different anything. Yeah, you guys are in different categories I work with raw elements. Yeah, there's a table in my kitchen. That is sort of weird. It's not an island It's sort of like a granite table, but the bottom of it is hollow It's sort of a second regular table, so under I'm like what am I gonna do so wait? How is this weird? Because it's like
Starting point is 00:41:43 Table that wouldn't come with what the fuck is that? But it wouldn't come with the apartment if it wasn't an island usually to get that table anyways So there's a sort of regular table, but it's sort of enclosed And I was like what am I gonna do with that sort of weird? And I was like dude was watching Shogun Japanese Zen garden inside of that Then you put like a little Buddha sculpture in it that we thought you would hate that you yes, and everywhere life's about experience You're saying your apartment put in your apartment Yeah, I'll buy it for you get him a lot of sand and this is how we do it exactly what I want it
Starting point is 00:42:12 Cuz I'm saying to the office if you send a bag of sand the office Rudy will put it in his apartment Yes, I think it'd be cool Japanese zengar take your fucking aquarium. Dude. We got you that for Christmas Yeah, that was oh yeah that Christmas gift. I got you that was a member that burden Hellish trip to Petco. I took glad you like it. Yeah since Christmas Mmm. Oh well. I'll do something with it. No you won't put sand Yeah, I could do that fill it with sand like it Put something that put a pet that doesn't really put a cat in there
Starting point is 00:42:48 That would be a funny social experiment just like you have a cat But like you have a date come over and you just put it in the aquarium to see how she reacts Yes, try that and film. That'll be a good prank show just a query of cat and just like if a girl still fucks with you after seeing you keep a cat in a 20 gallon aquarium and you got it no she's bad wait would Piper chill in that for a little bit she would freak out immediately you're talking about not even with water I didn't know what you're talking about not even with water Know what you're going I was about either plan No, I was thinking like you it's like Rudy tried to make it nice for the cat like so there's like there's like little
Starting point is 00:43:35 Mice and something like stuck to the side. I'll be funny and a food bowl. Yeah, yeah, okay Yeah, just she gets into shit when I'm out. I just keep her. Yeah, let's keep her. I just take her out of there What she needs go go bathroom. Yeah Yeah excited move Luke I want to put a cat in aquarium just for a social experiment. Yeah, or just like Kyle wait Kyle. Can you please just take that home and Put Piper in it for half a second. Just take a picture of yourself and just have it kind of in the background
Starting point is 00:44:04 Put Piper in it for half a second just take a picture of yourself and just have it kind of in the background I'm gonna do that Yeah, I'm gonna do that. That's so that's super funny Don't mind the mess Take your shoes off. I think you almost need to do a video so you can see it like pacing and so you're just like hey guys it's Kyle just want to like there needs to be a purpose of the video and maybe you just spin around real quick split second a cat is there like a promo we could all let's just do like a promo we could oh, let's just do like hey guys new episode of a new untold stories out She might great if you could do listen Then they would they would suspect it we almost need somebody else to do it, but I want it
Starting point is 00:44:55 One of these dirt bags yeah Gold finger do you do it? Yeah, you'll put it keep a cat Fuck yeah someone with a cat how you almost have to I'll do it. Yeah, you'll put it Fuck yeah someone with a cat how you almost have to I'll do it Yeah, I feel like for the people it might have to be an ad cuz that's the only way I would ever take a video Yeah, right I'll do an ad Yeah, just make I'll do a fake ad read that sounds believable with the with a slight the slightest bit. Yeah, you're cat Now if you get lucky he's pacing around
Starting point is 00:45:30 Or it's just like chilling yeah, and just like look she's fine. Yeah They like to find spaces are you gonna take that oh, yeah, I'm taking it Yeah, I guess he'll uber it back. Yeah Yeah, hey guys. I just want to tell you about something. What could we do? I think it's just an ad let's just do one of our ads Yeah What is that against the ad read? They didn't say you can't have a you can't have a tortured animal He said I can't say fuck, but I can put a cat in an aquarium If that now has to be like in the fine print red print on our ads
Starting point is 00:46:04 Background can't have a cat in an aquarium. Yeah, but like put her toys in there make her comfortable Oh my god, I love it all right. Oh, I'm excited about this next one Nick. Maybe sit this out It's official schools out's out, sun's out. It's summer. Mando whole body deodorant will be your best friend this summer. What are the odds? Mando is clinically proven to control odor for 72, I can't wait to try the 72 hours. That's about as long as it can be, right? Right? Yeah. Safe for the whole body, pits, package, feet, and everywhere in between.
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Starting point is 00:47:09 I think I'm gonna go with Pro Sport. Same. I wanna smell like Pro Sport really badly. I wanna smell like LeBron. I wanna smell like Pro Sport as well. Yeah. Good. You know, summer's sweaty, the humidity,
Starting point is 00:47:22 and the sun, and the temperature. You're gonna need deodorant. You're gonna need a good deodorant. Mando is clinically proven to control odor better than a shower with soap alone. 12 hours after a shower, the average man's grundle odor level was a five out of 10. With Mando, the average grundle odor level
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Starting point is 00:48:05 New customers get $5 off a starter pack with our exclusive code. That equates to over 40% off your starter pack. Use code ANUS, A-N-U-S at shopmando, S-H-O-P-M-A-N-D-O.com. I'm so glad we're sponsored by such such a quality deodorant. Oh, yeah MOOC update on the matrix I guess yeah, yeah, yeah that works. Yeah, people didn't listen to last episode MOOC match with this girl on hinge named matrix. Yeah And she ended up
Starting point is 00:48:45 being real they hit it off yeah you were sending audio messages back and forth you speaking Chinese he loved my Mandarin oh so it's not like it's the trajectories optimistic yeah so we sent her those three voice memos episode ended about three hours later she sent me back a 12 second voice memo Whoa? Here it is, okay And this is after should I replay the old ones or no, it's fine. It's fine play though play your Chinese silk play the self Yeah, Asian silk
Starting point is 00:49:22 silk Nishis and Emma oh Even like your exhale was like yeah, that was almost the equivalent of like when machine gun Kelly had to take his fucking bracelet Oh, yeah, let me take my bracelet off and then she sent this back Awesome well whenever you can get a test done and you can share that with me and then I'll share oh That's the wrong one What the fuck was that you didn't mean to play that at all no that goes into the Was that in response to tell you? Wait, there was one voice message in between those two things. Yes
Starting point is 00:50:06 What could you have said? Went out of order Wait now leave it a mystery that's way better I couldn't even imagine what bridge you say something in Chinese and then her asking for a test Yeah, yeah, who's the bridge to get there? We'll never know My god Holy fuck all right, then what will happen after that I guess
Starting point is 00:50:35 After so you don't want the context of no no I don't want to know I said perfect I said perfect, we'll get one done soon. And then, I'm not getting one, I'm not gonna meet up with her, but then. Oh, what? Saturday. What? On Saturday she said, hey, I'm sorry I have to do this, but my life just became a little complicated.
Starting point is 00:50:57 I thought me and my ex were over, but he just came back into my life out of the blue the other day and wants to try couples therapy. Well, I wasn't expecting this I'm sorry, but I just need to think about things for a minute. Did you respond? I said a couple emojis okay. Keep me posted okay You should have said let me know the results send them back to me That's nice of her for being open and not just telling you that great
Starting point is 00:51:17 But I think you need to send her something Chinese right now. Yeah Just say like good fortune to you and your partner some sort of yeah like Japanese proverb or something yeah like a good something sage yeah oh And then wait get a gong sound effect, too Yeah Yeah, up up a gong pull up and search loud gong loud gong yeah, I'm searching quiet gong quiet Maybe quiet gong with reverb. This is a mouthful. What is it? Good fortune to you and your partner
Starting point is 00:51:53 To me honey, the bunny. How you it's not bad You got that I'm gonna need a good body. I wish you and your partner good luck. Dude. Hold on. You can say anything. It won't matter. Yeah, it doesn't have to be that accurate. Alright. And I'll play the gong. Just whenever you're done, I'll play the gong.
Starting point is 00:52:16 Okay. Hold on. I wish you good luck. Ready? I wish you good luck. You fucked up the gong? Okay, from the top. Five, six, seven, eight. Oh I didn't record it! I'm not recording! Okay, okay, okay, right here, right here.
Starting point is 00:52:46 Zuni haoyun. Yeah, that's a moan. Yep. Zuni haoyun. I'm gonna win her back. What is it? What was the would you have gone? What? What?
Starting point is 00:53:17 I thought they were gonna like have had a date. We were going to. You guys set up a date. We were going to and then she hit me with that Well, wait the Tet the test way just you should have said it would have never worked anyway Like I got tested and trust me I Kind of want to give context of the testing, but we
Starting point is 00:53:43 I want to live in mystery of like what 16 second voice message could have gone from that to Yeah, if you want to go get tested Holy shit Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings. Rocket Money has over five million users and saves a total of 500 million in unwanted, canceled subscriptions.
Starting point is 00:54:19 Go to rocketmoney.com slash unfold and cancel your unwanted subscription. Rockit money.com But hinge is going well I got ghosted by Vaseline unfortunately, I think she might have been fake Someone called it a bot lobby, which I enjoyed I mean is anything going well on that app? Or off? Or off. No, no.
Starting point is 00:54:51 I'm in a funk right now. Things are not good. Are you matching with anyone and having a conversation? Yes and no. Part of me is- You can't say that. Yeah. Like I'm matching with girls that are like cute and whatever, but, but there's no I'm never nothing's gonna come of it.
Starting point is 00:55:06 But you guys have this exchange messages. Yeah, that's yeah, that's something. I'll be honest. I was bored last week. You were horny. Yes. Yeah, that was bored and horny. And I was getting off hinge onto the text with a few girls. And now I just have like Megan from Hinge, Sophia from Hinge. Like, oh, that's exhilarating.
Starting point is 00:55:27 Yeah, yeah, it's fun in the moment and then the next day it's like having like post-nuclarity of like, I don't think. Have you said anything super dumb? Oh yeah, I'm letting it fly. Yeah. Yeah. What's the risk? I don't care about anything I say to these people.
Starting point is 00:55:41 You can tell. Nothing matters. I've given up on caring about anything. Have you ever found any subscriptions you forgot about or any you paid for twice and didn't realize it? Well, Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted. Who did you bump into in Cincinnati? You're telling me you bumped into somebody but to ask.
Starting point is 00:56:08 In Cincinnati? Yeah. I've never been to Cincinnati, not even Hamilton. Okay, I thought you said you bumped into somebody in Cincinnati. No. Was it somewhere else in Ohio? When? We were in the Uber to Third Eye eye blind and you were like I bumped into
Starting point is 00:56:26 Somebody in Cincinnati remind me. I did yeah, what did I see did I say? I don't know I was lying I Was lying yeah, okay Possibly yeah, I was trying to stir up conversation. Have you excited yeah, but like It's a normal way to do that. I don't need to do that. I don't know sometimes There's like a lull in conversation. I'm like I have to say something that's beneficial to everyone Remind me to tell you who I bumped into in Cincinnati Yeah, it gets you excited All right, God bless God bless
Starting point is 00:57:18 Clap yeah We're about to wrap up the episode but Cody great guy you work on the market title show mostly sports but you said you're dying dying dying to be in content and No, we're not you said we're not Yeah, you said that you wrote 20 news jokes. No Did we said you wrote one on the basketball court spit ball and some ideas and you said come up Yeah, come up with some news ideas. So I know no no you you said you, you said you had some. I didn't tell you to come up with it. Heavens no. Did not give you that prompt. But you did. But you did it. And that's all that matters. And I'm excited.
Starting point is 00:57:55 Yeah. You want to do them? Not really. Not with this demeanor. Where's your confident cool guy? Well, I was going to write some, you know, I was looking at headlines And I was gonna talk about this one news story And then I realized it was fake a lot of AI stuff going around and I was thinking a fake headline That sounds like a Carlos Boozer haircut Yeah, baby And what are your socials so people can tweet at you and be nice?
Starting point is 00:58:22 No Yeah What are your socials so people can tweet at you and be nice? No Yeah Dog I thought I thought you guys were gonna go I don't have any No, we don't have any but we go usually it's like that person just that was good. Yeah, that was good Yeah, yeah, you're like a six out of ten. I didn't know that's you were gonna start. I thought you yeah He pulled the rug out Direction that was good. All right. I don't really have much guys to be honest with you This is another one. Are you doing it again?
Starting point is 00:58:56 No, just looking through these are kind of bad Come on showcase your bravado like use the cool guy slang Alright some cool guys line mm-hmm a man was charged with vandalism after he allegedly destroyed a bunch of products at a computer keyboard Factory when asked why he did it he said type shit I like that Yeah, yeah, all right, okay. What's the third track? They're bad man the whole of them are that's the point of all right a Weeder at a restaurant was sent four years in prison after attacking a lady during a shift the female customer asked him to bring a pet Pepper shaker over to their table for the meal
Starting point is 00:59:51 Instead in a fit of rage he gave her assault Let them hear it Can you tell the one that you hinted to us in front of the chips We're down in front of the chips. You're like, please. Let let me tell you please let me tell you please let me tell you and I was like fuck fine didn't happen no I can't do that why um do the meta pizza joke about what the pizza joke the pizza like wait has he told you guys some too
Starting point is 01:00:17 yeah do the game one you told me I don't have I don't know what that is yes I have a couple headlines I wanted you guys to look at. About your delivery, say, your delivery needs work. Oh, that wasn't a joke, that was just me speaking. All right. No, I was talking to Kyle, I was like, my news headlines are pretty bad.
Starting point is 01:00:41 It's all about the delivery, I'm all de journo. That's good Me laughing real time. I was trying to get you to peppered in actually I didn't remember that yeah, that's good. Thanks, man All right you that you have way more than that on your war What are some ones that you these are dumb like I just wrote like why do architecture majors waste money on buying a house post graduation, bro Just look at your notes like that's stupid But I wrote that down. I kind of like that's really good. Yeah, that's on par with what we do. Yeah Oh rapid fire. Okay a recent report states that metal thieves are stripping America's cities shit. I'd throw a dollar at that Yeah, what is that stripping America's cities shit I'd throw a dollar at that what yeah what is that stripping America's cities Jesus Christ
Starting point is 01:01:30 yeah strip club yeah all right rapid-fire was one what is it a musket yeah is it was it fun to do? It was fun. It's a lot harder than it seems. It's funnier when you just talk in real time. What were some headlines that you thought had potential? I saw this one today. Michael Kopek is the 114th pitcher in MLB history to throw an immaculate inning and
Starting point is 01:02:01 the first White Sox pitcher since sloppy Thurston in 1923 I Don't know shit about baseball, but I'm thirsting for some sloppy great. Yeah, there's something better in there though mm-hmm Well you had you had one about Elon oh? Yeah No, I can't do that Here let me read it. No. No you I'm gonna give you a headline and then you say something. Okay. Yeah, that's a little freestyle.
Starting point is 01:02:28 Former NFL wide receiver James Jones says that Jalen Hurts does nothing better at the quarterback position than Dak Prescott other than running the read option. Insert. Yeah, this one's fucking crazy. Oh. I don't know, you could say something like, oh, read option, that sounds like you're presenting MOOC a book. Yeah, this one's fucking crazy
Starting point is 01:02:50 Read option that like sounds like you're presenting mook a book. I don't know I don't know Yeah, I guess that's the best one read option option? What are we doing? Fucking presenting MOOC? A book? Yeah, yeah, it's good. I love this. Read option. I thought we were talking about Goldfinger. What? Oh, he's the second read. There we go.
Starting point is 01:03:18 Oh, wow. Oh, shit. Yeah. I just wrote down diploma Diplo oh no you have a bit for this say the say it say the bit you I've heard this say the bit Diploma sounds like a Spanish guy at a club telling a shawty to shake some ass. Oh nice. Yeah Goddamn Yeah, dude, keep doing this. Yeah, you got the word play you got one one. Yeah from your rap career
Starting point is 01:03:49 What was that? Yeah, no, no, I can hear it. It's here. Yeah. They do say my rap career is Similar to the prohibition because I speak easy Yes That one shenna shenna shiver down my spine. Yes good or bad well alright You can't really quantify a shiver it makes you feel something you made me feel good art makes you feel mm-hmm Thank you keep keep keep doing this please yes. Yes. I do it on my free time. It's just yeah I don't write them down. They do You talk to me, and then you're like
Starting point is 01:04:25 I was the last one and there's like so many I Just wrote like this This one I don't have a punchline that'll say a punchline top ranked presidential prospect for networking and commanding a room was deemed to be Abraham LinkedIn I wrote I'm in parentheses and bad no That's awesome dude. I wrote, in parentheses I said bad. No. Dude these are just on par
Starting point is 01:04:48 with ours too. Yeah. Alright, see you next week. I got one more of me. You are the simultaneous least and most confident person I've ever met. I've never seen anything like it. It's just this jumble of fretting
Starting point is 01:05:04 and cocky. He'll come up with the most trembly voice and how was your weekend bitch? Make up your mind, which one do you want? How are you pussy? Cody, you're the man dude, so you're the man. Yes. Cody you're the man dude, you're the man, yes
Starting point is 01:05:30 All right You want to read some of these yeah do that Elon one These are Yeah Some of them are just like US Surgeon General declares gun violence a public health crisis that was just I didn't finish that one haha oh This one yeah This one's good a vandal spray painted fuck Elon on a 34 cyber trucks in the Fort Lauderdale area over this weekend
Starting point is 01:06:21 kind of gay Okay, I'm good gay that's good damn good i want to read that one i want to read the ones that say parentheses bad nations first publicly funded religious charter school blocked by Oklahoma Supreme Court. One irate commenter responded
Starting point is 01:06:45 I thought this would have happened sooner for Christ's sake because of Oklahoma yeah that one was really bad yeah I'm gonna put really yeah put really bad dude this is fun
Starting point is 01:07:00 but like again who are we to judge? I bet you some people laughed hard at this no you are good at this. Thanks. Your delivery is so bad that I love it. Please do more of this. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 01:07:14 If I send you headlines, can you make a joke? That's the hardest part is trying to find them, but I... Kai was like, you could just reverse engineer it. Yeah, think of something you want to do and then search Let's there's a joke so you had bro sure All equals brochure yeah like a guy like the passing out pamphlets at like an event So go to brochure and go to news and just any of these And he's like hey you want to read about this and he's like bro sure like
Starting point is 01:08:05 this and he's like bro sure like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah already and I think they can get better. I want 100 next week. 100? Can you do that? Yeah, that's what? Less than 20 days. It's 100. It's 100. 100. 100, that's like a... Well, it's like double 50.
Starting point is 01:08:18 It's like 12 a day or something. Yeah, I feel like if you do it enough. Yes. I just need to go out in the world and get inspired by something. No. Yeah. I don't think you do it enough. Yes. I just need to go out in the world and get inspired by something No, no, yeah, you know, I don't think any of us leave our homes. Yeah, like I'm gonna go play trivia later and oh Okay. Yeah, I love that you do this back into the fray dead last We'll see you tonight
Starting point is 01:08:38 Probably. All right. That was uh, that was Cody follow Cody. Yeah, give it for Cody All right a new untold story. God bless

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