A New Untold Story - Cat Aquarium - A New Untold Story: Ep. 404
Episode Date: July 11, 2024pinot grigio, cat talk, and even some bonus kody time. Ads: Gametime - Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code UNTOLD for $20 off your first purcha...se (terms apply). Factor - Head to https://FACTORMEALS.com/kb50 and use code kb50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month. Mando - Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @shop.mando and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code ANUS at shopmando.com! #mandopodYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, a new untold story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcast, Spotify or YouTube.
Prime members can listen to ad free on Amazon Music.
Kyle, you want to clap?
Yep.
Passing off the reins.
That was pretty good.
Was it good enough?
Again.
That was good.
You mean you got your reply to what I'm going to say? No, you're just going to say, no, that's a new untold story. enough again that was good It's a fresh, baked, untold story.
A new untold story, episode 503.
404.
Shit.
Guess what it is.
Error.
That's another code. No, the area code code I can give you two hands, okay?
Well, I want one
Atlanta I feel like that was more than I had excited
Atlanta
Friend of the podcast Atlanta mentioned them more than any other metro area yes, and
A friend of the podcast. Atlanta.
You mentioned them more than any other metro area.
Yes.
And probably one of the most culturally significant cities
in the world, despite its smaller population.
Easily.
And I think, is Atlanta the city that produces
a disproportionate amount of a specific type of celebrity?
Meaning what?
Like rappers.
Yes. Every rapper is from Atlanta? Like, rappers. Yes.
Every rapper is from Atlanta.
Atlanta, Chicago has some.
B.O.B, Ra, CeeLo,
Beano. Outkast.
Yeah.
A lot. Wait, are you going
somewhere with this?
Every famous rapper is from Atlanta.
Okay, yeah.
Yeah, there's a lot.
Playboy.
Playboy Cardi, Beano, that was a deep pull by you.
Yeah.
Homicide Beano, mm-hmm.
A lot of them, Young Thug, Lil Keed, Rest In Peace.
Have you ever been?
I've never been.
Beautiful Skyline.
Beautiful Skyline, the largest percentage
of tree canopy coverage.
No kidding.
Yeah, so it's beautiful Wow
Obviously a film like at the Hollywood of the South and are you ready for a fun fact sure Atlanta is west of
Detroit
Or if I've seen that I'm really yes west of Detroit no no no no no no no no no
I think young thug knows that I bet you he tells people that no
I bet you we need to tell him that you want to send a letter to young thug in prison
I would like to see different Atlanta rappers react to that fact that would be an awesome react future future react smile
Perfect, and then do you think they give a fuck dude? There's no way
You're seeing it right here
It's more west than the entire continent of South America
So on that no on that map Detroit is further west in Atlanta, but I don't know if no that's Lansing
Detroit is on like yeah, yeah Detroit's on the left. Okay my bad. Yeah
Damn by like a mile
21 wouldn't give a shit. bet he'd care I would tell him
that he'd be like who that future with in the sexiest most dehydrated voice
would be like unbelievable that's crazy slip on fucking coilil Aray's Pussy Juice. What?
But save himself cool. Yeah, how would he,
has he ever done anything embarrassing?
No, he's like the most, right?
Yeah, he is very smooth.
He is very smooth.
I mean, he is like most famous lyric
is talking about having sex with Larsa Pippen
and Gucci flip flops.
That's cool.
Yeah. That is cool. It's almost like a challenge. I feel like Gucci flip-flops. That's cool. Yeah.
That is cool.
It's almost like a challenge.
I feel like Gucci flip-flops would be a difficult thing.
Any sort of flip-flop is probably tough to fuck in.
Yeah.
You could get fucked in flip-flops,
but you can't fuck in flip-flops, I imagine.
Undoubtedly.
Right.
Now there's Russian dudes I beg to differ.
Yeah, Russian dudes can weigh,
Russian dudes can probably do more in flip-flops
than most men can do in combat boots.
Yes. And they're like the most beat flip-flops than most men could do in combat boots
And they're like the most beat flip-flops. Oh, yeah, like those the impulse purchase flip-flops at Old Navy like those guys It's like it's like they're a little bit smaller than their feet and they will do they are they're always always too small. Yeah
And they'll do whatever they want in them whatever they want
They've done tours of war in the free flip-flops from like a flight
I mean and Russia is not a flip-flop flip-flop friendly place no in the slightest not even close
It's freezing cold
For the most part yeah, it's Russian dudes and samurais when you ask a Russian is Russia European or Asian
They'll say it's Russian they don't claim
either either continent yeah quite interesting hmm quite interesting what
else you got for a 404 hmm Atlanta I forgot like all of the best rappers yeah first
All right next next yeah, I
Had so we watched that JLo movie and reacted to it. We watched salt burn and we reacted to it Yeah, I thought those were hard watches
No, easy watch. I found the hardest watch in the world in t-shirt
And I called Kyle and I said drop everything you're doing. Yeah and watch found the hardest watch in the world. And I called Kyle and I said,
drop everything you're doing and watch this.
The hardest watch of all time.
And before I start clowning,
I will say if I was in this position,
I probably wouldn't do well either.
I could never even get myself in this position.
I'm talking about season two,
episode one of Celebrity Jeopardy.
And for the unfamiliar, Celebrity Jeopardy is like Jeopardy,
except celebrities play and the questions are significantly.
Significantly, significantly, significantly easier.
And they had a guest on Celebrity Jeopardy,
Emily Hawthorne. Hampshire. Hampshire.
She's in Schitt's Creek. Is she? Yeah.
But she's not like the main. she you know he's a scientist I I
Have it all written down I
Watched it a few times because it blew
My mind how hard and again before I clown make fun of lampoon. She was sweet
She was sweet as hell charming. She was very nice and
It would be nerve-racking to even be on celebrity Jeopardy as an honor Lampoon she was sweet. She was sweet as hell charming. She was very nice and
It would be nerve-racking to even be on celebrity Jeopardy is an honor. Yeah, that's something none of us could ever achieve
She's she did it
But who boy it was?
Unbelievable it was unbelievable at one point in time the other two guests had like
$35,000 $16,000 she was sitting at like $35,000
$16,000 she was sitting at negative $2,000 and these were these guys were playing for charity Yeah, so I don't know if the jeopardy took that money from the charity when she was done. Oh, yeah, she's negative 2,000
but it was I
Cringed all the way through it and I cringed so hard for so long
I missed stuff that I refound when I was watching through so I have a game for
Mook and booty
Yeah, I am going to ask you the questions
Some of the ones that she missed uh-huh, and I don't want you guys to try and get the question right
Because that would be far too easy. Yeah, I want you guys to try and guess
What Emily said which I like this?
And we were not understating this imagine if like Pat star played an exaggerated version of himself on SNL
Pat star the spongebob yeah
Okay, yeah, that's an easy one. Thank you. Yeah. All right now. I get it
She should have been playing against Pat star
And knuckles Emily didn't get one right until the end of the second round
They even added a third round of triple jeopardy and the crowd erupted. She should have played against derpy hoo
from my little pee
Yeah, okay, so you want us to go like full idiot mode. We got to go full Emily. I'm not calling her an idiot
Okay, I'm saying maybe she was nervous
Okay All right, this was ants for 100
One of the categories was like animal sounds
and the question was like this sound that a dog makes
is also a layer of a tree.
And none of them guessed.
All right, so category is ants.
For 100, which is the base level.
Ants inhabit every continent except this one,
which ironically begins with ant.
What is Antarctica?
That's correct, you did it wrong. Sorry, fuck. You were too excited that you did it. I was too excited. except this one, which ironically begins with Ant. What is Antarctica?
That's correct, you did it wrong.
Sorry, fuck.
You were too excited that you did it.
I was too excited.
Yeah, you've never had that feeling before.
Sorry, okay, sorry, I didn't go Emily mode.
I was gonna say like,
Which is weirdly dumb.
I don't know, like Japan?
France.
She said Antonopolis.
Oh.
Hardest watch of all time,
and this was like the first question, and the other guys like look at her. Antonopoulos Oh Hardest watch of all time and this was like the first question and the other guys like look at her and they're not quite sure
Because she went ah oh, I don't know and then she just blurted that out an awful
But that requires her hitting the button. Yeah, she she had the confidence to buzz her in got it
chicken for 500
for a flavorful chicken marsala, chefs recommend using real Marsala,
a wine made in this Italian island.
What is syrup?
You thought that...
Kyle, do you know what she said?
Wait, wait, wait, no. I thought it was
from which island it came from.
It is. Okay. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh Okay This one isn't as good. She just said Marsala back
And then the guys are like what what's going on? I was gonna say like Mars like she misses a lot more
Meditation for 400 the Atlantic described this four-letter meditation app as one of the most popular apps in existence
What is uber?
Now that would have been more right no she said headspace
I
Can't even do and now everybody's like everybody's like they're not even reacting, but she keeps fucking guessing
She keeps guessing does she have was she embarrassed at all?
No.
I don't know, but Ken wanted to tie her up.
What do you mean by that?
Ken was, like Ken wasn't, like he,
I think you were supposed to like joke around at least.
Yeah.
And he wasn't having.
He couldn't even do that.
And then she got like a little embarrassed.
And then she finally got a question
and she got to pick
the next category.
And she finally gets confidence, and she's like, airport stores for $12,000.
And Ken's like, I think you mean $1,200.
And then in the break, her fun fact was that she could rap the presidents.
Ken asked her, so how did you prepare?
She learned the presidents in order. Yeah, and then she started rapping the presidents. Well, Ken asked her, so how did you prepare? Yeah. She learned the
presidents in order. Yeah, and then she started rapping the presidents. Yeah. And
then there was a question about a president of Egypt and she was like, oh
hold on, let me do the rap. And he's like, I don't think it will help for Egypt.
He's like, it hurts to watch. Most painful watch ever. This one though Hello made my came me made my toes curl
Yeehaw
Penolos are Hawaii's equivalent of these workers also a name of a Texas pro sports team
First off can you guys guess?
Really guess yes yeehaw Rangers
Cowboys yeah, yeah, but that Rangers as an okay guess. Yeah, either one.
What did she say?
Aloha.
Not even, not even alohas.
No, she said aloha.
And at this point she has hardly any money.
She's well in the negatives.
Everybody else is like getting it now and has more money than most Jeopardy winners get because it's so easy.
Who are the other celebrities a mark duplass?
He did creep the league
And utkarsh
Indian actor rapper he won world's sexiest 38 year old something like that
I'm gonna be honest like I know I'm a dumb guy
But I had trouble getting in that like brain set for her answers
It's impossible and there was Alaska for 300 Alaska has more of these birds than any other state
That's even counting the ones on the back of the quarters
What is a?
Pigeon owls human owls, and then she's sitting at like minus
2500 final Jeopardy comes if you're in the negatives you don't get to participate in Final Jeopardy.
Ken just wouldn't put the dog down.
And he's like, you know what?
We're gonna give you $500 to bet
so you can get a little bit of money for your charity.
He staked her?
Yeah.
So they took her out of the negatives.
They gave her $500 for Final Jeopardy
so she could just get some money for her charity.
And it was
astronomy discovered discovered in the 60s and 70s
Cygnus x1 was the first of these light-trapping gravitational bodies of bodies to be identified
What is earth? Oh, man? Oh, what she guessed? Okay?
Can you guess you know the right answer you know it huh you know the right answer. I didn't even listen I was just like
Discovered in the 60s and 70s Cygnus x1 was the first of these light trapping gravitational bodies black hole yes discovered in the
60s and discovered in the 1970s 1960s and 1970s
Okay, she hit it. She had a little doodle. Don't tell me she said flat earth. She said what is stars?
What is star what is so and she bet all 500 charity wasn't getting shit her charity was like
LGBT so they lost money and I
I
searched on
Twitter
Emily what's her like? What's her name Emily? She Emily Emily Hampshire celebrity jeopardy not too many tweets about it
Daniel Converse hard to watch Emily Hampshire on celebrity jeopardy episode. She's beyond retarded
There she is not to be mean, but I think she has a disability
It was a horrible
It was tough for her it was tough for her and like even like women were turning against her
And she was like
You have this woman was just like you have to be especially foul ignorant sort of person to be that bad at celebrity Jeopardy
She called her foul and ignorant
I think she was sweet. I thought she was sweet as sweet. I'm not saying anything.
Sweet as a plum tree.
I think she was.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But if you guys want, I'm not joking, the hardest watch of all time, because everybody
else has to be laughing and having fun.
So it's just silence.
It's awkward.
It is the hardest season two, episode one celebrity Jeopardy.
Get Huluulu pay it mm-hmm Maybe do it as like a litmus test with a date mook see if she like it's a great understands
And if your dates right cringing yeah, no cuz one of the categories is animal sounds
I mean the am one was crazy all of them were top alice and top of us
But God God bless her soul. Yeah.
Emily.
But she's a very, obviously a very successful actress.
Yeah.
You don't need to know things to be a good actress.
I kind of like place them in like an intellectual superior category.
I don't know why I do that, but I do too.
I think the take, like I think it takes.
I think it's because they take themselves seriously.
I think they, I think that they are very good at speaking well.
And they seem like when they dig into a character,
they're just describing somebody.
They take themselves very seriously.
Yeah, it's guys that play make believe.
Like I think Shia LaBeouf is a genius.
These guys are pretending.
And they were like, yeah, you guys,
who are you endorsing for president?
This is somebody that plays pretend all day.
Right.
Mm-hmm
whatever I can't wait to watch that it's impossibly it's I don't think most
people can make it through to the point where like I was cringing so hard and
like I had like a really devious evil smile my partner looked at me and they
were like please don't talk about this on the podcast.
I was like, I won't.
Why, for the sake of women?
Just for, it's almost too easy.
It's too mean.
It's an easy target.
It's too, too mean.
I think it's just important to study this.
I just think-
People like this deserve to be-
Kudos to her for having the confidence.
Right.
If Ants for 100 was the first thing, I would have never said a word the rest of the show
Antonopolis I'm still trying to understand that it's what fucking
amphibian begins with salamander
They said she would have missed colors that end with salami
That's maybe can you do you are you logged into Hulu? Maybe you guys can just react to one of them all right?
Hardest watch hardest watch all right little interruption of the show to talk about one of my most used apps
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Tell him Nick and Kyle and Rudy and MOOC sent you and Reid and Luke and
Mother Teresa, no everybody sent you
All right. Yeah, just so you guys can hear the delivery.
Again, don't clown her.
Never.
She was nervous.
Mm-hmm.
And she's good at a ton of other things.
And knows what a zamboni is.
Yes, I do.
Yeah.
Unfair advantage.
Select again.
Let's go with ants for 100.
Ants inhabit every continent except this one,
whose first syllable ironically is ant. Emily. Let's go with ants for 100. Ants inhabit every continent except this one,
whose first syllable ironically is ant, Emily.
Oh, boy, I antinopolis.
Pfft.
Sorry now, Mark.
What is Antarctica?
That's the...
Oh, and he got it.
He's...
Let's go.
Oh, it's the hardest, hardest watch, guys.
I don't know why, but the way she was holding her button, I been there you start you start a sentence you get excited and you don't know where you're going
But that you shouldn't you should know that one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and you can see I don't know why but her holding the button
Like it was like she's a terrorist ready to bring to pop a bomb is so funny to me
Everyone else's has a good posture.
Do you think anybody in this office is missing that question?
Yes. Yeah.
People don't know.
Like we found out people don't know states.
People don't know continents.
But this is I feel like ye.
But that's.
That they give you ant and you can put it together.
So like who is messy getting it right?
Mincy is Mincy is it right? Mincy is.
Mincy is fine.
Do you want to test?
Yeah, I do.
Okay.
I grab a random person out there.
I feel like Goldfinger might still miss it.
Goldfinger still doesn't know it.
Yeah.
What about the, who, who's on the cusp?
Malisek.
No.
Yes.
No, Malisek.
Malisek is weirdly ignorant and he would make an argument.
He would be like, well, yeah, it's America, but that's not technically a sovereign state.
He would just go on this like four minute tire and be like, I know why I don't talk to you.
He would be really annoying with it.
Yeah, he would just go.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that was that was I like almost ruined my appetite.
And it was Mississippi pot roast night.
And I had to deal with it.
The hell was that?
Mississippi pot roast?
Yeah.
Crock-pot dish.
Did you prepare it?
I didn't do shit.
Did you do the dishes?
I did do the dishes.
You did?
Yeah, I cleaned out the crock-pot.
Gotta do what you gotta do. One up and me, but I've been like going home
I'm just complaining cuz I'm the middle of brining my armpits right now
And so I can't look at this with you see you hear what he's on. Yeah, I don't like that's that's the equivalent of
Antonopolis no, it's not you're brining your armpits. Yeah, dude
I'm rubbing the salt stick on them every night for what reason it's killing all the odor making things in my skin
No aluminum that would be better. It's a stone of potassium that I'm rubbing on my armpits after I run it under the sink
30 seconds, and what do you feel like after that? It's burns mentally though. I feel like I'm doing something right
I feel like I'm hacking your bio hacking yeah now by like naturally rubbing a under my armpits, and then I was doing a research on it and
People there was like they were like this is like the best thing you can do and it's proven to work
This one specific country has been doing it forever, and it's the last country. You'd want to be doing it India
You're brining your armpits like in front of your partner
Or do you go into a separate room? I would rather be caught jerking off. Yeah, I'm
Yeah
Dude, you're 6-3 with eternal weight and infinite tap
You don't need to be doing weird shit like this
But I'm just go be my armpits won't be able to be a go be a top tier man
What are you talking about?
Go home and brine your armpits and like I am I am a top whatever the fuck else you do
I can't be a top tier man if I have stinky armpits my armpits won't ever be able to produce odor
That's great. That's the perfect man and I disagree why dude must
is important no it's not what when those we take away those fair I think yeah
might you might you might be scared you're gonna lose oh no if I'm not able
to produce odor I still got a stinky asshole feelings become distant yeah no
dude I'm brining and I'm you guys should all do it too and one stick lasts up to
four years it's great for the no waste community
I think my mind goes to pickles. Yeah much like a pickle. What does that even mean brining? I'm brining. I'm salting my armpits
I'm turning them into jerky. He's curing it. I'm curing my armpits so they can't produce and
That's so wack. It's not wack. Dude, I have a sick-ass crystal in my bathroom.
If you're like, what's that?
I'll rub it underwater and just,
krrrk.
It's not a sick-ass crystal.
It's your armpit crystal.
It's my armpit crystal.
Witches don't even do this shit.
Dude, you're rubbing fucking aluminum.
You have aluminum in your blood.
No, I don't.
I use aluminum-free.
Yeah, and I bet you smell like fucking dog shit.
I smell like a normal person.
I don't even have a scent.
I don't even have a scent.
I'm the purest man. I don't need have a sense. I don't even have a scent I'm the purest man. I don't need a mask because I can't even do it any I can't even produce stink
Now I go old spice under the armpits Irish spring on the body. What are you trying to hide man? Just a rom just being a man
That's my that's trying to yeah
More gin a musk is masculine even if it's not like completely bad or odorous like yeah, I think dude. I'm going to store
I'm going to say women one of women one of must I'm going to be able to sneak up on anybody
That is true. Yes, that is true not a smell
You guys we found out no one's ever like we're not like a German Shepherd
No one's ever been like if someone's sneak and that's smelled trust me I
The best data the best time to start brining is now,
is what I always say.
I'm never going to do that.
You'll regret it.
10 years down the road, you'll wish you started.
I had a buddy get plastic surgery under his armpits.
Like Botox injections, cause you can't sweat.
That's gay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Finally.
Finally.
Dude, plastic surgery?
I'm rubbing an ancient stone under my armpits.
He like had to get it though.
It was like an issue.
Was he bad?
It was an issue.
Dude, and like that's why if you go to India, it's fresh
Oh, I smell nothing yeah, even with the heat. Thank God all these stones. Uh-huh. Yeah, like look up just like it's a potassium alum
Alum yeah, I just go to images
Yeah, that's my deodorant
That's my deodorant. Yeah, man. That's my deodorant, dude. No, not.
Dude, I'm hacking.
I'm cracking the code.
If anything, you should rub it on your gooch.
I bet you, I bet you the number one complaint from women or top five, we'll say top five.
I don't want to be crazy.
Mm hmm. Is smell from a man I
Am literally incapable of creating that
Kudos Nikki let me smell your armpits no because it takes a little bit
It takes a little bit
No, okay, it takes a little bit of time how long uh?
Everybody's different No, mine looks like the one to the left far left. It's not no no up up. That's what I'm rubbing. Yeah, dude
They just like shave it down
That's what I'm rubbing. Yeah?
Yeah, dude.
They just like shave it down.
I'm the perfect man.
You guys are literally spending how much,
do you know how much money deodorant is?
4.99, that's gonna last me five years.
And I won't be able to produce, what?
Nothing.
I'm doing real man shit.
Like what?
I got addicted to.
This is dead serious.
Addicted to Pinot Grigio.
Fuck yeah.
You're an alcoholic.
Specific, no.
This is like specifically Pinot Grigio.
But that's still an alcoholic
if you're just one type of alcohol.
No, I feel like it's a more mature.
It is.
It's a more mature,
because it's only.
No, no, no.
That's an alcoholic.
It's not alcohol as a whole. No, it's Pinot Grigio.
But that is alcohol.
I've been addicted to alcohol,
and that's cumbersome, that's a mess.
Now it's just Pinot Grigio, and I love it.
How often you having Pinot?
Wait, that's not messing your drink,
you're drinking only Pinot?
It's not, why, it's Pinot Grigio,
it's Pinot Clock, it's Pinot Clock.
Ew.
There's no way Pinot is ever touching my lips.
Pinot? I disagree-gio. There's no way Pino is ever touching my lips. Pino?
I disagree.
But it's weird because all other wines, especially reds, make my palate wince in my irises seed.
But Pino Grigio is perfect.
How much Pino you have in a day?
I'm guzzling it, glasses after glasses.
Is it your number one drink?
I didn't do it today, but I will
Have you ever done over break over break? It was in the more I'd wake up and Pino
What's happening that you're an alcoholic I don't know about that because it's just not like I'm craving vodka
Yeah, that's still alcohol right like and I I made a reddit account
Geo Geo dude the pinot grigio loving geography nerd who fucking hates humidity. You know Geo dudes a Pokemon
I know it's a play on that so you're geos you know I tried like do replying in geography threads like facts and stuff any fun
It's not got no action. So yeah
Have you gotten drunk off the pinot or is it just you're just sipping Pino?
No, it takes a while.
That's because you have a tolerance.
I know. I know.
But are you addicted? No, no, just dependent rely.
He's a fan of it.
But I've been healthy as fuck to like burning lots of calories,
working out like a mad man. I joined East Bank Club. Okay. This is the first time I've been odd by grander since moving to Manhattan
Like I had a panic attack. It's not I thought it was like a big gym
It's more than that. Where is oh, yeah, it's right down the street from me. It has all those tennis courts, right?
Yeah, like I walked in and like oh, this is like a mall
There's like a supermarket and I walk upstairs. there's a bar in a restaurant has a pino
The obamas went there it's crazy like i felt like i didn't belong did you did you have to like planet fitness
Did you have to send a picture to get in i do apply i had to get a picture taken
My girlfriend caught me taking a picture of myself to apply for Soho House.
Which was one of the more embarrassing things.
That's so embarrassing, dude.
It was horrible.
But then there's like, it's almost too much.
Like I just wanna play with the toys.
Like I just wanna do pull-ups.
There's like apparatuses that people put their legs in.
There's like pods that people go into.
Are you gonna experiment with?
Any of those like you can get you can get a full
Full leg wax for men or you can get a half leg wax, which I don't know what that would be for
What there's like a hydra massages, then there's elite hydro massages is it extra
Yeah, I just feel out of place, but I want an elite hydra massage. I don't know
It's too much. So you went there you had I went there
No, I didn't even I didn't do that, but I went there and just did what I could do at Planet Fitness
So now I'm like I'm wasting money. Is it like a year minimum membership to probably
And you did you buy two memberships
And you did you buy two memberships? I mean for you and your girl we tried to get the partners pass, but we don't we didn't qualify
On what grounds I think you have to be married
It has to be true love
I actually heard through the grapevine that you were at East Bank and I was gonna ask you about it
You heard I heard somebody saw him. Somebody saw him there. So I heard for the grapevine. I was talking I was like
Oh, I need a new gym. I'm moving. I don't have a gym in my building anymore like where should I go like?
What are the good gyms? I was like you know I heard KB. No one said that really
I'm not even kidding someone's like someone did greet me at the door
They're like that's KB while I was trying to get in let him in and I was I felt like Tyga
East Bayn Club is a is
Borderline cult, but it is it's yeah, I felt like I I should be using that money to like give
instead
Now dude yeah, give those arms to those fucking dumbbells dude. I'm so I'm so tired of trying to be ripped
Are you gonna? But I can't I can't give it up. That's the thing have you gone out to the brickyard. I don't
Yeah, I don't even there's all these things. There's so many nooks
Have you gone out to the brickyard? I don't yeah, I don't even there's all these things. There's so many nooks
What's the shop? There's a pool right there's pools?
They wash your car you pools hey, there's a dry clean it wash your car
Like there's a lot of unnecessary shit, but there is a outdoor pool deck with a pool bar You guys can come to I got guest passes with a DJ now Saturday
What the fuck dude that's what I'm saying I
felt like this something I don't deserve this is it a financially irresponsible
decision yeah okay I'm good at those oh my god yeah I want to be in this is that
the weekend yeah the weekend dude that we get to in there. That bicycle room looks like Tomorrowland.
Yeah, I know.
Does the weekend teach spin classes there?
Maybe. Look at that. Yeah.
I went three times was it around the hours.
It's super crowded, but it's so massive that it doesn't feel crowded.
A lot of like wedding all stars and geezerer gazers though, which I don't like
Wait, explain both actually a
Wedding all-star is a type of dude. I just caught a whiff of myself and I smell really bad. I
Lifted my arm. I'm taking a drink
You smell like a potato I smell like salted armpit this sucks no no
You don't want to agree salted I smell like salted armpit this sucks No, no
Don't want to agree salted
Dude that's so late. What is it? No, it's fine. Yeah, this seems like something you would get into
If it was bad for you, you'd like it yeah, they made your head feel heavy. If there was a side effect.
Yeah.
I want to get in on this, dude.
Wait, what's a geezer-gazer?
A geezer-gazer? It's like an old dude who just stares at you.
It's so annoying.
Athletic clubs.
I thought the young bulls were bad.
The old dudes will just like, they'll be working out next to you and just lock in a stair But with like a mean face, and yeah, you don't know if it's that because they're deteriorating or if they just don't give a fuck
Anymore it's bizarre yeah, and hating on wedding all-stars is kind of coming from a place of insecurity
But it's like the dude who's tall handsome perfectly groomed always looking looking like
He's ready for a wedding picture the type of dude who loves taking wedding pictures with a group of equally handsome
Yeah, perfectly groomed
The only time you catch him is right after a loves wearing suits. Yeah. Yeah, I know exactly no substance
No, yeah, the gym by me
You get a young person's discount under 30 and if you're over 30, it's like double
That's sad.
Brutal.
None of us get it.
No. We're old.
We're old.
You know how I know you're old?
Cause you're Kip's age from Napoleon Dynamite.
Kip was 32?
Yeah, he was 32.
Oh no.
I remember watching as a kid, I'd be like 32 is so old.
And I could easily picture him,
if they had done a sequel,
he would have been brining his armpits.
That's 32.
So I was,
oh fuck.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm not that far off from that look.
No.
I just wanna get into it.
Get into the old.
We're in the decade where it's coming,
like our faces are gonna just.
Well, you don't really fit in anywhere.
I can't go to anywhere. Nowhere's fun for me right now. Yeah, oh, I'm too old to be here. Oh, I'm there right here
Like what do we can't go to Lollapalooza? No
Or can we?
That gives me an idea we can we can we would be the oldest by 20 years
We can we can we would be the oldest by 20 years
Yeah, it'd be so bad the thing is I feel like those places the only guys that are 30 or only
They they come in like they're a tactical team the 30 year olds there Yeah, bring like some any blow off 30 year olds that go to young bars come in there with a plan
Everything is like choreographed. Yeah, it's like an itinerary
They have like a call sheet like a quarterback choreographed. Yeah, it's like an itinerary. They have like a call sheet,
like a quarterback on their arm.
I suppose that's just us.
Every time we all go out together, which is often.
Yeah.
Shit.
Yeah, we're old, bro.
We're old.
Are you moving soon, Rudy?
Yeah.
In like days.
Yeah, everything's within days, technically, so.
Suck on that, bitch. Yeah?
But within short amount of days?
Yeah, no, I'm behind.
Do you own a single box yet?
No, but the beauty of Amazon, those things will appear,
they'll just appear out of nothing.
You're not gonna get it,
you're not gonna get your deposit back?
I'll be fine.
I only thrive in crisis.
All right. But yeah, I'm be fine. I Only thrive in crisis
All right. Yeah, but yeah, I'm moving again
I should be better at it cuz I've moved I think eight times in the last like ten years
Yeah, I moved a lot. That's crazy. Yeah, I moved a lot, but I think six I were stacking memories
Can you turn this off like when you're at dinner with like your aunt
Can you turn this off like when you're at dinner with like your aunt? I'm very good at acting normal.
I was convincing.
Have you ever slipped up and said some, you know, you sounded like walking Phoenix talking
to his therapist.
No, I don't.
I'm actually, I just turned into a shy guy.
I'm a shy one in my family in my can't be outgoingly normal. I can be like introverted normal besides my sister
I'm the youngest cousin and everybody's like oh like Nick's never talked. Yeah, I'm the guy
I get so shy around cousins and aunts. Oh, yeah, I don't speak
Unless oh no, and I'm afraid like they're gonna fucking hate me
No, and I'm afraid like they're gonna fucking hate me
And I talked to twice a year yeah
Kyle
You're an eater I'm an eater
Well, I'm an eaters eater. You're an eaters eater. Yeah. Yeah, I can eat the other eaters are like
Kyle yeah, I can eat. The other eaters are like Kyle. Yeah, I can eat.
And let's talk about Factor.
Okay.
Their meals are so good.
Yeah, some aren't the healthiest, but some are.
What?
All the factors are pretty good for you.
They're all pretty healthy,
but if you want something that's less healthy,
you can indulge with factor. Yes
Yes, you can if you want something really healthy that tastes amazing factor as well is taste the most important part of your food for you
Or is it health factor is both. It's both in one. Yeah. Mm-hmm. It's the best
I've had some of their cheeses and it's so good. Yeah? The cheese they use, yeah.
Is it fresh?
I think they make their own, I don't know.
Straight out of Wisconsin probably.
Good stuff, factor.
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Some other, this, getting called the slur again.
You are.
It might be the dude.
I had that in my notes update on that.
He said, you're, this guy key DM me. You're a giant fucking
Come on and say something. I'm in Gold Coast
Dude and he's like gambling Torney me verse you person who hits the most bets in a night wins 30k
Look back he was a call me that word since 2022. Oh my god. He's hated you for a while really that really I don't like that I
Think he's trying to be friends
Yeah, but he's been saying it a lot
Kind of has me reverse inspired. I had this dude Douglas DM. He was like hey, I saw you
in Lake Geneva, I'm gonna tickle you and
Then he it was like late at night when he sent that and the next morning
He was like meeting you this weekend was awesome. I just want to clear things up
I was drunk when I DM'd you and I said I would tickle you that's still the case
Wait so you met him I guess
Did you feel him?
No, well also if he tries to tickle me Wait, so you met him? I guess. Did you feel him?
No.
Well also, if he tries to tickle me,
I'm pretty sure I don't have nerve endings
in my armpits anymore.
Yeah.
There you go.
Try as he might.
Try as he might.
What else?
You were home, right?
Or you were in Jersey?
Jersey, yeah.
Is that where you were born?
Yeah, New Brunswick.
People forget about that.
I know. I know know you don't claim
I'm West Virginia yeah you don't rep Jersey other than the Jets yeah do you
have fun yeah I was playing with toy cars like the toy car tracks these days
are lights out really like yeah loops you would love them I'm sure I would they've but that technology was there when we were younger hot wheels. Yeah, I never got into it
I had a little face. I wanted them, but never I still have my hot wheels and a bunch of other toy cars
And I wanted to glue to my roof, but then I got shamed out of it so
But now I have a new idea. I bought a hot wheel sure I was bought somebody bought me a hot wheel for
Like two months ago. It was a wheelchair though. Oh, that's fine
Yeah, yeah, but I have a new idea for my new apartment, so there's this it's this okay, so
Before you say anything yeah, this is gonna suck
Because I remember you don't know we were at the bar once and you were like hey
I have an idea for my place, and you ran it by us
You're like I want to glue a bunch of cars to the sea
Yeah, what is gonna be like a sandbox you want you you want sand don't you so there's a it is
Listen listen bro. You can't even talk dude you're salting your armpits. That's so different anything. Yeah, you guys are in different categories
I work with raw elements. Yeah, there's a table in my kitchen. That is sort of weird. It's not an island
It's sort of like a granite table, but the bottom of it is hollow
It's sort of a second regular table, so under I'm like what am I gonna do so wait? How is this weird?
Because it's like
Table that wouldn't come with what the fuck is that?
But it wouldn't come with the apartment if it wasn't an island usually to get that table anyways
So there's a sort of regular table, but it's sort of enclosed
And I was like what am I gonna do with that sort of weird?
And I was like dude was watching Shogun Japanese Zen garden inside of that
Then you put like a little Buddha sculpture in it that we thought you would hate that you yes, and everywhere life's about experience
You're saying your apartment put in your apartment
Yeah, I'll buy it for you get him a lot of sand and this is how we do it exactly what I want it
Cuz I'm saying to the office if you send a bag of sand the office Rudy will put it in his apartment
Yes, I think it'd be cool Japanese zengar take your fucking aquarium. Dude. We got you that for Christmas
Yeah, that was oh yeah that Christmas gift. I got you that was a member that burden
Hellish trip to Petco. I took glad you like it. Yeah
since Christmas
Mmm. Oh well. I'll do something with it. No you won't put sand
Yeah, I could do that fill it with sand like it
Put something that put a pet that doesn't really put a cat in there
That would be a funny social experiment just like you have a cat
But like you have a date come over and you just put it in the aquarium to see how she reacts
Yes, try that and film. That'll be a good prank show just a query of cat
and just like if a girl still fucks with you after seeing
you keep a cat in a 20 gallon aquarium and you got it no she's bad wait would
Piper chill in that for a little bit she would freak out immediately you're
talking about not even with water I didn't know what you're talking about not even with water
Know what you're going I was about either plan No, I was thinking like you it's like Rudy tried to make it nice for the cat like so there's like there's like little
Mice and something like stuck to the side. I'll be funny and a food bowl. Yeah, yeah, okay
Yeah, just she gets into shit when I'm out. I just keep her. Yeah, let's keep her. I just take her out of there
What she needs go go bathroom. Yeah
Yeah
excited move
Luke I want to put a cat in aquarium just for a social experiment. Yeah, or just like
Kyle wait Kyle. Can you please just take that home and
Put Piper in it for half a second. Just take a picture of yourself and just have it kind of in the background
Put Piper in it for half a second just take a picture of yourself and just have it kind of in the background
I'm gonna do that
Yeah, I'm gonna do that. That's so that's super funny
Don't mind the mess Take your shoes off. I think you almost need to do a video so you can see it like pacing and so you're just like hey guys it's Kyle just want to like
there needs to be a purpose of the video and maybe you just spin around real
quick split second a cat is there like a promo we could all let's just do like a promo we could oh, let's just do like hey guys new episode of a new untold stories out
She might great if you could do listen
Then they would they would suspect it we almost need somebody else to do it, but I want it
One of these dirt bags yeah
Gold finger do you do it? Yeah, you'll put it keep a cat
Fuck yeah someone with a cat how you almost have to I'll do it. Yeah, you'll put it Fuck yeah someone with a cat how you almost have to I'll do it
Yeah, I feel like for the people it might have to be an ad cuz that's the only way I would ever take a video
Yeah, right
I'll do an ad
Yeah, just make I'll do a fake ad read that sounds believable with the with a slight the slightest bit. Yeah, you're cat
Now if you get lucky he's pacing around
Or it's just like chilling yeah, and just like look she's fine. Yeah
They like to find spaces are you gonna take that oh, yeah, I'm taking it
Yeah, I guess he'll uber it back. Yeah
Yeah, hey guys. I just want to tell you about something. What could we do? I think it's just an ad let's just do one of our ads
Yeah
What is that against the ad read? They didn't say you can't have a you can't have a tortured animal
He said I can't say fuck, but I can put a cat in an aquarium
If that now has to be like in the fine print red print on our ads
Background can't have a cat in an aquarium. Yeah, but like put her toys in there make her comfortable
Oh my god, I love it all right. Oh, I'm excited about this next one Nick. Maybe sit this out
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MOOC update on the matrix
I guess yeah, yeah, yeah that works. Yeah, people didn't listen to last episode MOOC match with this girl on hinge named matrix. Yeah
And she ended up
being real they hit it off yeah you were sending audio messages back and forth
you speaking Chinese he loved my Mandarin oh so it's not like it's the
trajectories optimistic yeah so we sent her those three voice memos episode
ended about three hours later she sent me back a 12 second voice memo
Whoa?
Here it is, okay
And this is after should I replay the old ones or no, it's fine. It's fine play though play your Chinese silk play the self
Yeah, Asian silk
silk
Nishis and Emma oh
Even like your exhale was like yeah, that was almost the equivalent of like when machine gun Kelly had to take his fucking bracelet Oh, yeah, let me take my bracelet off and then she sent this back
Awesome well whenever you can get a test done and you can share that with me and then I'll share oh
That's the wrong one
What the fuck was that you didn't mean to play that at all no that goes into the
Was that in response to tell you?
Wait, there was one voice message in between those two things. Yes
What could you have said?
Went out of order
Wait now leave it a mystery that's way better
I couldn't even imagine what bridge you say something in Chinese and then her asking for a test
Yeah, yeah, who's the bridge to get there?
We'll never know
My god
Holy fuck all right, then what will happen after that I guess
After so you don't want the context of no no I don't want to know
I said perfect
I said perfect, we'll get one done soon. And then, I'm not getting one,
I'm not gonna meet up with her, but then.
Oh, what?
Saturday. What?
On Saturday she said, hey, I'm sorry I have to do this,
but my life just became a little complicated.
I thought me and my ex were over,
but he just came back into my life out of the blue
the other day and wants to try couples therapy.
Well, I wasn't expecting this
I'm sorry, but I just need to think about things for a minute. Did you respond?
I said a couple emojis okay. Keep me posted okay
You should have said let me know the results send them back to me
That's nice of her for being open and not just telling you that great
But I think you need to send her something Chinese right now. Yeah
Just say like good fortune to you and your partner some sort of yeah like
Japanese proverb or something yeah like a good something sage yeah oh
And then wait get a gong sound effect, too
Yeah
Yeah, up up a gong pull up and search loud gong loud gong yeah, I'm searching quiet gong quiet
Maybe quiet gong with reverb. This is a mouthful. What is it?
Good fortune to you and your partner
To me honey, the bunny. How you it's not bad
You got that
I'm gonna need a good body. I wish you and your partner good luck.
Dude.
Hold on. You can say anything. It won't matter.
Yeah, it doesn't have to be that accurate.
Alright.
And I'll play the gong. Just whenever you're done, I'll play the gong.
Okay.
Hold on.
I wish you good luck.
Ready? I wish you good luck. You fucked up the gong?
Okay, from the top.
Five, six, seven, eight.
Oh I didn't record it!
I'm not recording! Okay, okay, okay, right here, right here.
Zuni haoyun.
Yeah, that's a moan.
Yep.
Zuni haoyun.
I'm gonna win her back. What is it?
What was the would you have gone?
What?
What?
I thought they were gonna like have had a date.
We were going to.
You guys set up a date.
We were going to and then she hit me with that
Well, wait the Tet the test way just you should have said it would have never worked anyway
Like I got tested and trust me
I
Kind of want to give context of the testing, but we
I want to live in mystery of like what 16 second voice message could have gone from that to
Yeah, if you want to go get tested
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But hinge is going well I got ghosted by Vaseline unfortunately, I think she might have been fake
Someone called it a bot lobby, which I enjoyed
I mean is anything going well on that app?
Or off?
Or off.
No, no.
I'm in a funk right now.
Things are not good.
Are you matching with anyone and having a conversation?
Yes and no.
Part of me is-
You can't say that.
Yeah.
Like I'm matching with girls that are like cute and whatever, but, but there's no I'm never nothing's gonna come of it.
But you guys have this exchange messages.
Yeah, that's yeah, that's something.
I'll be honest. I was bored last week.
You were horny.
Yes. Yeah, that was bored and horny.
And I was getting off hinge onto the text with a few girls.
And now I just have like Megan from Hinge, Sophia from Hinge.
Like, oh, that's exhilarating.
Yeah, yeah, it's fun in the moment
and then the next day it's like having like post-nuclarity
of like, I don't think.
Have you said anything super dumb?
Oh yeah, I'm letting it fly.
Yeah. Yeah.
What's the risk?
I don't care about anything I say to these people.
You can tell.
Nothing matters.
I've given up on caring about anything.
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Who did you bump into in Cincinnati?
You're telling me you bumped into somebody but to ask.
In Cincinnati?
Yeah.
I've never been to Cincinnati, not even Hamilton.
Okay, I thought you said you bumped into somebody in Cincinnati.
No.
Was it somewhere else in Ohio?
When?
We were in the Uber to Third Eye eye blind and you were like I bumped into
Somebody in Cincinnati remind me. I did yeah, what did I see did I say? I don't know I was lying I
Was lying yeah, okay
Possibly yeah, I was trying to stir up conversation. Have you excited yeah, but like
It's a normal way to do that. I don't need to do that. I don't know sometimes
There's like a lull in conversation. I'm like I have to say something that's beneficial to everyone
Remind me to tell you who I bumped into in Cincinnati
Yeah, it gets you excited
All right, God bless God bless
Clap yeah We're about to wrap up the episode but Cody great guy you work on the market title show mostly sports
but you said you're dying dying dying to be in content and
No, we're not you said we're not
Yeah, you said that you wrote 20 news jokes. No
Did we said you wrote one on the basketball court spit ball and some ideas and you said come up
Yeah, come up with some news ideas. So I know no no you you said you, you said you had some. I didn't tell you to come up with it.
Heavens no. Did not give you that prompt.
But you did. But you did it. And that's all that matters. And I'm excited.
Yeah. You want to do them? Not really. Not with this demeanor.
Where's your confident cool guy? Well, I was going to write some, you know,
I was looking at headlines
And I was gonna talk about this one news story
And then I realized it was fake a lot of AI stuff going around and I was thinking a fake headline
That sounds like a Carlos Boozer haircut
Yeah, baby
And what are your socials so people can tweet at you and be nice?
No
Yeah What are your socials so people can tweet at you and be nice? No Yeah
Dog I thought I thought you guys were gonna go I don't have any
No, we don't have any but we go usually it's like that person just that was good. Yeah, that was good
Yeah, yeah, you're like a six out of ten. I didn't know that's you were gonna start. I thought you yeah
He pulled the rug out
Direction that was good. All right. I don't really have much guys to be honest with you
This is another one. Are you doing it again?
No, just looking through these are kind of bad
Come on showcase your bravado like use the cool guy slang Alright some cool guys line mm-hmm a man was charged with vandalism after he allegedly destroyed a bunch of products at a computer keyboard
Factory when asked why he did it he said type shit
I like that
Yeah, yeah, all right, okay. What's the third track?
They're bad man the whole of them are that's the point of all right a
Weeder at a restaurant was sent four years in prison after attacking a lady during a shift the female customer asked him to bring a pet
Pepper shaker over to their table for the meal
Instead in a fit of rage he gave her assault
Let them hear it
Can you tell the one that you hinted to us in front of the chips
We're down in front of the chips. You're like, please. Let let me tell you please let me tell you please let me tell you and I was
like fuck fine didn't happen no I can't
do that why um do the meta pizza joke
about what the pizza joke the pizza
like wait has he told you guys some too
yeah do the game one you told me I don't
have I don't know what that is yes I
have a couple headlines I wanted you
guys to look at. About your delivery, say, your delivery needs work.
Oh, that wasn't a joke, that was just me speaking.
All right.
No, I was talking to Kyle, I was like,
my news headlines are pretty bad.
It's all about the delivery, I'm all de journo. That's good
Me laughing real time. I was trying to get you to peppered in actually I didn't remember that yeah, that's good. Thanks, man
All right you that you have way more than that on your war
What are some ones that you these are dumb like I just wrote like why do architecture majors waste money on buying a house post graduation, bro
Just look at your notes like that's stupid
But I wrote that down. I kind of like that's really good. Yeah, that's on par with what we do. Yeah
Oh rapid fire. Okay a recent report states that metal thieves are stripping America's cities shit. I'd throw a dollar at that
Yeah, what is that stripping America's cities shit I'd throw a dollar at that what yeah what is that stripping America's cities Jesus Christ
yeah strip club yeah all right
rapid-fire was one what is it a musket
yeah is it was it fun to do? It was fun.
It's a lot harder than it seems.
It's funnier when you just talk in real time.
What were some headlines that you thought had potential?
I saw this one today.
Michael Kopek is the 114th pitcher in MLB history to throw an immaculate inning and
the first White Sox pitcher since sloppy Thurston in 1923 I
Don't know shit about baseball, but I'm thirsting for some sloppy great. Yeah, there's something better in there though mm-hmm
Well you had you had one about Elon oh?
Yeah
No, I can't do that
Here let me read it. No. No you I'm gonna give you a headline and then you say something.
Okay.
Yeah, that's a little freestyle.
Former NFL wide receiver James Jones says
that Jalen Hurts does nothing better
at the quarterback position than Dak Prescott
other than running the read option.
Insert.
Yeah, this one's fucking crazy.
Oh.
I don't know, you could say something like, oh, read option, that sounds like you're presenting MOOC a book. Yeah, this one's fucking crazy
Read option that like sounds like you're presenting mook a book. I don't know
I don't know
Yeah, I guess that's the best one read option option? What are we doing? Fucking presenting MOOC? A book?
Yeah, yeah, it's good.
I love this. Read option.
I thought we were talking about Goldfinger.
What?
Oh, he's the second read. There we go.
Oh, wow.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
I just wrote down diploma
Diplo oh no you have a bit for this say the say it say the bit you I've heard this say the bit
Diploma sounds like a Spanish guy at a club telling a shawty to shake some ass. Oh nice. Yeah
Goddamn
Yeah, dude, keep doing this. Yeah, you got the word play you got one one. Yeah from your rap career
What was that? Yeah, no, no, I can hear it. It's here. Yeah. They do say my rap career is
Similar to the prohibition because I speak easy
Yes
That one shenna shenna shiver down my spine. Yes good or bad well alright
You can't really quantify a shiver it makes you feel something you made me feel good art makes you feel mm-hmm
Thank you keep keep keep doing this please yes. Yes. I do it on my free time. It's just yeah
I don't write them down. They do
You talk to me, and then you're like
I was the last one and there's like so many I
Just wrote like this
This one I don't have a punchline that'll say a punchline top ranked presidential prospect for networking and commanding a room was deemed to be
Abraham LinkedIn
I wrote I'm in parentheses and bad no
That's awesome dude. I wrote, in parentheses I said bad.
No.
Dude these are just on par
with ours too.
Yeah.
Alright, see you next week.
I got one more of me.
You are the simultaneous
least and most
confident person I've ever met.
I've never seen anything like it. It's just this jumble of fretting
and cocky.
He'll come up with the most trembly voice
and how was your weekend bitch?
Make up your mind, which one do you want?
How are you pussy?
Cody, you're the man dude, so you're the man.
Yes.
Cody you're the man dude, you're the man, yes
All right
You want to read some of these yeah do that Elon one
These are
Yeah
Some of them are just like US Surgeon General declares gun violence a public health crisis that was just I didn't finish that one haha
oh
This one yeah
This one's good a vandal spray painted fuck Elon on a 34 cyber trucks in the Fort Lauderdale area over this weekend
kind of gay
Okay, I'm good gay that's good damn good
i want to read that one i want to read the ones that say parentheses bad
nations first
publicly funded religious charter school
blocked by Oklahoma Supreme
Court. One irate
commenter responded
I thought this would have happened sooner
for Christ's sake
because of Oklahoma
yeah
that one was really bad
yeah I'm gonna put really
yeah put really bad
dude this is fun
but like again
who are we to judge?
I bet you some people laughed hard at this
no you are good at this.
Thanks.
Your delivery is so bad that I love it.
Please do more of this.
Mm-hmm.
If I send you headlines, can you make a joke?
That's the hardest part is trying to find them, but I...
Kai was like, you could just reverse engineer it.
Yeah, think of something you want to do and then search
Let's there's a joke so you had bro sure
All equals brochure yeah like a guy like the passing out pamphlets at like an event
So go to brochure and go to news and just any of these
And he's like hey you want to read about this and he's like bro sure like
this and he's like bro sure like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah already and I think they can get better. I want 100 next week. 100? Can you do that?
Yeah, that's what?
Less than 20 days.
It's 100.
It's 100.
100.
100, that's like a...
Well, it's like double 50.
It's like 12 a day or something.
Yeah, I feel like if you do it enough.
Yes.
I just need to go out in the world
and get inspired by something. No. Yeah. I don't think you do it enough. Yes. I just need to go out in the world and get inspired by something
No, no, yeah, you know, I don't think any of us leave our homes. Yeah, like I'm gonna go play trivia later and oh
Okay. Yeah, I love that you do this back into the fray dead last
We'll see you tonight
Probably. All right. That was uh, that was Cody follow Cody. Yeah, give it for Cody
All right a new untold story. God bless