A New Untold Story - Chubby Cubbies & Stitch feat. Danny Conrad - A New Untold Story: Ep. 356

Episode Date: August 10, 2023

Take your panties off & throw them down the shoot, I'll GoPuff us some Chubby Cubbies. Shoutout to Danny Conrad and Isis. Ads: Factor - Head to https://FACTORMEALS.com/kb50 and use code kb50 to get 50% off. Gametime - Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code UNTOLD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply)You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, a new untold story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcast, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad free on Amazon Music. Kyle, I'm like sunk too well in the chair to clap. Really good. You mean you're going to reply to what I'm going to say? No, you're just going to say, no, that's a new untold story. Hey, is that story old or told? No, baby. That's a new untold story. Hey, is that story old or told? What? No, baby!

That's a new untold story. A new untold story. It's a fresh, big untold story. A new untold story episode 464. Is it not? I think it's like 456. You know for a fact, probably. It's 456.

Are you off the wagon? Gen 3 was a colossal failure gen three the protocol i am brutally fucked up like right now yeah wait that's not a failure you're allowed to get fucked up no but i'm wasted i'm wasted and um three Wasted. And 356. Is it 356 for sure? Yeah. You're the ad guy today too. My phone's not receiving photos. I can do one. You got to do all three.

Do we start now? Yeah, start at now. For those just tuning in, I guess it's the beginning of the podcast, so you are. We've been at the bowling alley all day. We were sipping there. Now it's late in Chicago. It's alright.

So we're talking about... What's it's alright? It's alright. Was that just a general affirmation? Yeah, I got nervous about bowling. I made the quarterfinals and started to get wasted. It's alright. That was a bitter mistake gen 3 was a colossal failure gen 3 couldn't have been worse and i thought gen 3 was my best product

ever i had so many people sign up for it i had so many people believe in me how much were you charging donate money to me donate money to my venmo and i accepted it so fucking confidently and i feel so bad because you believed in the product i believe gen 3 was the starter pack for like how's the third iteration the starter pack gen 3 just gen 2 had so much flaws what was okay let's start with gen 1 gen 1 was me just trying to figure out dopamine and i figured it out I kind of hacked it to a point. Okay. And then why?

Okay. But why did you think it needed a Gen 2? Because Gen 1 was too much pain and misery. It didn't have enough reward. I thought Gen 3 was the play, and now I'm brutally wasted. And I'm about to do this, so this is a good product. That was just us talking. That was not an ad.

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Nicotine. I'm over that. Not to mention their gum taste. What do you mean? You're over what? That was the wrong statement, obviously. I've never been. Yeah, I've been over that since sixth grade.

When I was punching up. Yeah. When I was 11, punching up. Not to mention their gum. They have gum, too. And it's not just for your gums. It I was 11, punching up. Not to mention their gum. They have gum, too. And it's not just for your gums. It's for gum for your mouth. Their gum tastes and feels like normal gum. If normal gum had a nicotine kick.

So you can imagine that if you have a functional brain. You can imagine how pleasurable that could be. We're on to Gen 4. We're in the purgatory. Is there any promo code or anything? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Okay.

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time between 3 and 4 four this is the period to do the nicotine lucy.co co i thought that was a mistake okay i thought for sure that meant calm okay we're on to lucy.com i thought they forgot to make it easier for you lucy.co co um promo code anus 20 off we're doing this conrad you've been on a lot of pods you ever hear an ad read that good with never in my life well done i can tell by the tone of your voice you mean it never in my life well done there we go you need to start doing that uh so your gen three was how long did gen three last through is a couple weeks um we're good i saw a picture of myself at the bowling event and my arms looked ridiculous and kind of defeated the purpose my arms look so big but you're also

wearing like very garish right but no i look like this i look like the short pussy who got big arms but anyone can achieve that and i just was disgusting not everyone can achieve short i sure as hell couldn't yeah this is exactly what i'm talking about it's not making me any funnier either i'm back to boozing danny you are infamous notorious on this podcast for have having fucked hooked up hooked up with ice spice made out with yeah you guys just exposed my love life with isis that's her real name that's her actual name isis yeah now you can see why she goes by spice yeah it's better yeah but um But is she a good kisser? She doesn't really want me to get too much into it.

Wait, you guys, do you have like her number or anything? No, just a restraining order. Okay, not bad. Not bad at all. She's a lot younger than you. Yeah, and she was a lot younger before she was famous, like you guys said. Yeah, most have been. We're obviously kidding about you having had hooked up with Ice Spice.

It was so believable. Famous woman. It was believable in your defense. Have you seen all the kids that emulate her dance? A lot of young hockey players are doing the Ice Spice when they score a goal. Will they cover their pussies? Yes. Yeah.

She is so good. They bend over and cover the pussy. Worldwide. I've seen skaters do it when they do an axle stall. Really? They go up and cover the pussy? Yeah, they axle stall and then cover their pussy. Is that ice? I was skating yesterday. I did it over

a 5-0. A big spin out. You can't do a 5-0 nollie big spin. I never. Yeah, I can. And then as you go backside, 5-0 nollie big. You have to go switch first into it. That was implied, Rudy. I was skating with Billy Marks. He gave me his twin machine deck. You never skated switch first into it. That was implied, Rudy. No, you're the fakest skater. I was skating with Billy Marks.

He gave me his toy machine deck. You never skated with Billy Marks. He married the girl from the bad season of Scrubs. Pretty crazy. Yeah, and I fucked Ice Spice. No, you hooked up. I did this. This is the nicest thing I've ever done to anyone.

I started the rumor that you have hooked up with Ice Spice before she was famous. Has this affected your current life at all? Not too much positively, no. You had a girlfriend at the time and she was probably pissed right yeah she still she still doesn't know that if it's real or not i committed to the bit that hard well you're racist so yeah i knew coming on this pod would be questionable but no a saleswoman here even asked me she's like hey not to be weird but i'm taking my clients to this festival wiz khalif is going to be there and uh this other girl uh she's a rapper uh sorry not to be weird but it's like the one you hooked up with and i said you know they're just kidding right she's like oh really because it's not like that it's a huge compliment to you like you're

decent looking guy yeah i still believe it i do too yeah and she she just skyrocketed in fame ever since you started that rumor that is true because when i started the rumor she was just like a tiktok music trend now she is i think she's cardi b yes she's a legitimate artist selling out arenas she's like huge she's like she has um the same affliction that sydney Sweeney has facially. They both look like they have Down syndrome and they both are very hot at the same time. So I don't know what to say. Yeah. Is that a quandary for you?

Yeah. No, I don't know. I think that's a come up for the traditional beauty standards and the people who oppose it like me. You oppose the traditional beauty standards and the people who oppose it like me you oppose the traditional traditional beauty i think we have gone past the lauren conrads and the belly button piercings and and the miranda from degrassi with uh like the showing uh the showing what is the female underwear dude the thing the thong the thong the thong that surpasses the but the thing is that you're saying we left traditional beauty the bodies are still the same it's just a down syndrome face no the asses are demonstrably big the asses and thighs

are so much bigger dude now that prez bought the stool back we can say whatever we want yeah we can say people with down syndrome are hot yeah no just people that look like they have it yeah because that wouldn't be true would you rather look like you um yeah now that prez is oh yeah we're in a good position. We're fucking chilling, dude. What have you been into lately? What have I been into? I've been trying to memorize a chart of dragons. Yeah, I've been memorizing, yeah.

I have a new favorite dragon, I think. Fae dragon. It's from the Fae. Give me that. What world are these dragons from? Some from ours, some from different dimensions. Some aren't real. I mean, is's like a do you give me what what world are these dragons from uh some from ours some from different dimensions some aren't real i mean is it like a cartoon no no no it's just like a this i have this types of dragon poster oh i'm gonna try to memorize them standard why'd you lock it is that your background yeah it's t-rex but it's not a dragon.

What do you think? Who's the red one? Hydra? No. Which one's the red one? Dragon. Who has orange wings? Hydra? That's Kodal. Who is green,

built like a horizontal lizard with big biceps all lizards are pretty much horizontal that's that's that is a basilisk no it's drake god damn it um who's very horizontal swimming sea orc yes okay um snake like blue and off brown snake like yeah uh tiny penis um close asian dragon asian yeah yeah uh green big wings dragonette yes yeah okay green pretty like beautiful like like sexy sexy green three heads spiky um no spiky wings one one head. What is it? Snake-like tail. What is it? Anthropod. Okay.

I'm still working. So that's what I've been into. I've been into different types of dragons. Because I've only been to like your traditional worms, wyverns, dragons. So I'm trying to open up my mind. Yeah. What about you? I don't know.

I'm wasted. Yeah. Fruity. We went to your apartment yesterday. So sick. It was super nice nice it was almost unnerving there was a weird thing about it like we went in and this was like this was beautiful like the the the windows were a view of like a panoramic chicago city yeah it makes me self conscious honestly it looks uh yeah it looks like a poster looking out, it makes me self-conscious, honestly. It looks like a poster looking out on the wall. Yeah, it makes me self-conscious.

It's a fuck den for sure. For sure. And even on the way in, there's like a trash. There's a trash chute on the way in. Which is like... Every girl he's bringing back is like, hold on, before you come to my place, give me your panties. We're throwing them down the trash chute.

Give me the fucking panties. Tell me, like, what? What? What? Why? Yeah, no, keep your panties we're throwing them down the trash give me the fucking panties tell me like what what what what why yeah no keep your panties on what are you me pretend like i'm rudy like no no why doesn't rudy just be rudy rudy be rudy and in this context okay who's the girl and the girl is like someone who wants to put well no but if you're doing hypothetical and assigning roles you're just telling rudy to be rudy i thought it would be funny if like the girl was like yeah we have to put the panties down the trash chute and i'd be like no no no nick what you're rudy now all right who's the girl the girl is like who wants to keep her Jesus Christ you can't assign roles all right Rudy can't play

Rudy in this scenario okay but he was like the girl I guess the girl doesn't matter she's not fucking right whoever's playing the girl it doesn't matter because he's not going to be saying much all right so we're walking into her place he's got her hand he's like before you were on what floor Rudy

I'm not saying that. Before you go into your place, throw your panties down the chute. You won't be needing them. Is that what you wanted? I won't need the panties. Wait, now you're playing the girl? I don't know.

I think that's mad funny. A girl like... Rudy has a handicap apartment. His peephole's really low. Yeah, it's dick low. Like chair height. Your countertops are also low. I didn't think the countertops were low. Go stand next to him when you go home.

You're making him self-conscious about his countertops. They're up to my hernia scar, which was just re-sewn. You got it redid? Why did your hernia scar open up? Because I was lifting too hard just like i was chest pressing dumbbells too hard i had to get a mammogram i still i still i had a hernia i self it just went away yeah it usually does um is it true that you promised you take your girlfriend to build a bear but you didn't feel like going out this was this was in new york yeah we and what did you do we go puffed

you go puff the fucking bear to your apartment yes that's just buying a bear off amazon no it was off go pop what was the level of customization was it similar to the experience supposed to be a date and it's the same yeah i was it was tough you just put it on the big screen you were tired was she disappointed as fuck it was after we recorded like three shows in one day but you promised build a bear she wanted to because she's never gone yeah and you go puff you built like did you realize like a drop down menu i just went i just go puff the build a bear and she was like you wet and i said i fucking i just ordered it on gopuff babe i'm tireless she said you wet and i said i fucking

the the workshop is like 25 minutes in traffic plus lines and crowds. I just go puffed the Build-A-Bears we were going to get. She was like, how did you do that? I said, I fucking go puffed two Chubby Cubbies and one Stitch from Disney. She was like, how did you even do that? And I said, I just ordered.

I customized it. Just like you do a fucking piece of food from Chipotle or Bar Louie. And she's like, you, this doesn't count as a date, but I think, yeah, did she keep the bear?

Both got the bear. Was she satisfied with who was stitch for stitch from disney yeah because little the bears require stitching yeah so i didn't know if that was a confusing like caveat but uh because we both wanted chubby cubbies and i threw in a third stitch from disney but which one of you has i ended up taking the chubby cubby and stitch from disney even though i don't even fuck you need to stop saying from disney we know stitch from lilo and stitch stitch from disney's lilo and stitch yes it's not a bear yeah we go puffed her you get any snacks any snacks snacks yeah from gopuff

oh no we go puff the bears but like when you go to build a bear you get to make a wish when you put the heart in i don't know like the process yeah i thought i guess that was like the sentimental part of the date but go you can go puff bears you just can do it yeah and so it's are they all on your bed or something i have the two chubby copies and the stitch from disney and we're good from lilo and stitch from disney's lilo and stitch yes i have stitch yeah does he have any different clothes on or anything no it's just it kind of fucking, it's just what. How much money were three bears on GoPuff? More money.

That's what, that was my argument. This is, this costs more than actually physically going to build a bear workshop. Like the tax, the delivery fee. What did your GoPuff delivery driver have to say when he just dropped off three teddy bears to a grown man? He just, he knocked on the door and ran. Yeah. He took a picture of them at your front door. Oh my God. Do the second ad. What do we got?

Factor? Is it factor? Shut up. It's in the zone. It is factor. i'm just trying to fill dead air man i know i know that means a lot um i feel like a lot of people like lost they lost control of their diet especially late summer yeah like they were either fasting too hard with like all the like the sun and the sweat or they were like doing like weird fucked up things with their diet that they wouldn't normally do because of the calories burned during the summer

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You have to start bare bones. You have to start with a good diet like this. So I would imagine. What are your thoughts on nicotine? Nicotine is fine. Okay. And Huberman said that himself. So.

Must be true. You do. Unless it's like, if it's too rewarding for you, you got to stop. But it's not for me. Factormeals.com. Danny, we're all moving to Chicago.

You've lived here your entire life. Now, you did say you want to take us to a bar yesterday and got lost. Sent us way out of the way. You guys said I knew my way around Boys Town too well. Yeah, you did it was you actually did so i got lost to prove that i don't but you got lost outside of boystown no we also that's a really on the nose gay neighborhood name yeah i don't think it's called it anymore what's it called now i can't so i think it's just east lake view now but all

the rainbow sign is just still up and uh we're disregarding the fact that mook chose to go to a gay thrift shop not there's anything wrong with that but that did happen out of the closet yeah there was a line for hiv testing you were flirting with the girl in line no yeah you were i was not she was a clear lesbian and you thought yeah this is a chance i thought i could flip her yeah practicing for light foot what made her you're gonna try to flip light foot i'm gonna fucking a flip light foot sounds like a sick skateboard move yeah it does yeah she's not in an office anymore right no she's not what's she up to you guys came at the wrong time uh she's just living her life you'll catch her at the park

probably later tonight drinking brown imagine that's pretty cool especially for a white boy yeah it helped with the ice place like no being like like not even from the suburbs you're not from naperville you're not from whatever waukegan or elgin or you're from the city of chicago yeah I'm about as far northwest as you can get, though, but it's still Chicago. Right, but that's cool to me and you just led us astray so quickly. So quickly.

I wanted to show you guys the lake, too. I really wanted to sell you guys on this place. What do you think of it so far? I'm excited. We did like what we saw. I don't like your pranks. I don't know if it's hazing, but I liked what you did to Mook, actually. Mook lost his charger and Danny didn't do anything to it. He was just yelling hot or cold when Mook was walking around.

Danny's a terrorist. Yeah. It's a strong word. I convinced him that Fasoli stole it, too. And so he tried taking Fasoli's charger and it led into an argument. Fasoli probably got so mad. Yeah. That was like Fasoli was... Yesterday was a national holiday for Fasoli's charger and it led into an argument. Fasoli probably got so mad on his, yeah,

that was like Fasoli was yesterday was a national holiday for Fasoli with the, with the Barstool acquisition, Barstool acquiring Barstool accusations acquisition. I was going to say, so, uh, we were with Fasoli when Dave gave like a press conference over something that probably wasn't good sorry to

hear that it was the business insider and he was like defending himself he had that whole slideshow and fasoli we were in the airport and he was weeping he was he was crying like physical like three-dimensional tears which i know that's a tear but like they were visibly three-dimensional with yeah like whoa those are those are 3D tears. He was thinking of getting his tattoo removed? No, no, never. He was like crying tears of joy. Yeah, so there's that.

Have you guys had an Italian beef yet? I can't have bread. They look... So like I would... Yeah. Jesus Christ. Yeah, that was beef that was beef like a philly cheese steak looks good because of the cheese i think but an italian beef lacks the cheese that is so like important for what they lack in cheese they gain in moisture and

just like wetness and like sure celery well much like build-a-bear you can have modifications you could add cheese onto it if you want but is that not it what is the pure skit the traditional italian beef that everyone raves about is just bread and wet beef and celery and carrots hot peppers or sweet peppers the au jus is what we call the juice but it's not actual au jus it is what is actual got him he conceded real quick i don't know yeah i guess he doesn't know so we're moving here what is something we can avoid that's cliche i don't want to be like uh somebody that's just like oh i moved to chicago i'm going to go like buy the mike dick cabara sweater um i'd say i'm not going to do a malort review i'd say probably taking pictures at the bean i know none of you guys probably taken a flick at the bean before though oh you

devil uh no i'm actually going to do i live close enough to the bean where i'm going to do i'm going to do a like clemmer style bean video but every single day like a clemmer isstyle bean video, but every single day. A Clemmer's New York facts, but I'm just going to do it at the bean every day. Make sure to take the red line as often as you can. Westside's pretty nice, too. You guys should probably visit there. Other than that, though, I would...

What are the touristy things? Is it... The aquarium? Yeah, okay. Aquarium. The Ferris wheel is up there you got you you are well i don't know if you want me to give away your coordinates but you're living pretty close to a lot of uh tourist attractions fuck yeah art museum you can go pet the statue lions is that navy pier you're talking about man nick's close well not just to navy pier but other tourist attractions i can't give away the latitude longitude now you don't know it um i'm also close to chinatown

though and i'm very excited for that sexually no i'm kidding but very very excited for that like whatever you're into uh cuisine wise okay um you guys have to pick a baseball team cubs or socks socks really why uh better colors better hat the cubs have more fun in the bullpen in the part like their their team wants to be there they have more fun in the bullpen their bullpen they have like they're smiling in the bullpen which is when i like try to like view different mlb teams i look at the bullpen. If they're happy in the bullpen, that means that's a good program. You're a Cubs fan? I'm a Cubs fan. Damn. Rudy, what are you?

I don't know. The fight really changed things for me. Guy in the socks got clocked. Tim Anderson? Yeah. He seems cool, though. He's hated, I think. He got punched. I know, but he seems like one of the cooler players. A lot of cool guys have been punched.

Like who? Some of the coolest. Floyd Mayweather? Conor McGregor? He is the coolest. I'm trying to think of one that doesn't have a harassment charge. The guy never backed down. He got punched.

He's cool as hell. Is that Channing Tatum? No. It's the guy from Tokyo Drift. Yeah, that's cool. Don't know his name, but he's cool as hell is that channing tatum no it's the guy from tokyo drift yeah that's cool don't know his name but he's cool as hell he got punched yeah there we go matthew mcconaughey the guy from i only know movie characters that have been punched who's been like knocked out and like is still cool dante i don't know if he qualified as a knockout he was jumped yeah He was knocked out.

He was knocked out in a one-to-one fist fight and is still cool. Which is like man's... It's man's worst fear, however you want to spin it. Man's worst fear. We all act on a day-to-day basis under the potential of getting knocked out. That's how we all act. Because we know that's the worst thing to happen to us. Go off.

Knocked out. I can't think of one. That's still cool. I can't think of a non-fictional character. Who is... Who... Yeah. Not Nate Robinson.

And that's like when you... In any social situation... Rihanna? You're worst. Rihanna. Rihanna. Rihanna. She...

Like, he slapped her down though I think it was close Unless he's got serious palms She had some marks on her face That were caused by more than a slap I can't think The only one I can think of unfortunately But she's cool

She did a Superbowl afterwards As a man Is that our biggest fear? No. I'm going to knock you out then just to fulfill your biggest fear. I think squealing

for a spot is worse. What does that mean? You're trapped under a bench press. I thought you meant for like a parking spot. Squealing. A man shouldn't squeal. No.

I squealed yesterday. You noticed. I did notice. What'd you squeal at? I was getting on the elevator and the doors were shutting. Yeah. And there was a girl in there and she like hit the door open to like save me. But I went in and I just went.

And it was horrible. It was horrible, man. You're never having sex with that girl. Damn, I'm not. I'm not. She wasn't Asian. Doesn't matter. Is going to Mr. Beef cringy?

I guess now it's become a tourist thing because that's where the bears filmed. This is the restaurant where the bears filmed. It's currently an establishment the bears it's based on film and it's currently a establishment that's running yeah it's been one they just filmed there have you been i i honestly have you're the worst lifetime chicago's resident ever why because i don't go to tourist attractions you should have gone at least once what's like chicago about you what's like super chicago about you you're not overweight not yet um i just was able to grow a mustache like a year ago are you an alcoholic uh getting there okay you're on your way what else am i constantly a big thing here is like you talk about parking beforehand like you gotta go to the spot and one

of the big perks is like free parking that's easy parking yeah that'll always get mentioned um your father being blue collar mine's not man that's a vote of pride like my father is a firefighter my father is a welder how close was your dad to blue color like were you pretty white yeah i'm pretty white but no he's he's he works with taxes yeah i know i gotta get my street cred up around here um yeah those are all the chicago things about me i sound like i'm from wheeling illinois illinois which is a suburb yeah we're gonna we're gonna have to do what came first wheeling illinois or wheeling west virginia wheeling historically huge wheeling illinois is named after Wheeling, West Virginia.

Did you look that up? Yeah. Okay. We'll see. Are you guys going to do a sea dog boat tour? What's a sea dog boat tour? Oh, you're going to learn today. The architecture tour on the river.

I've done that before. You've done this? Review. It's dope, yeah. I was on an accounting trip in Chicago. That is dope. That sounds dope. Mook, while you're On, uh, I was on an accounting trip in Chicago. That is, that sounds dope. While you're on the mic,

I'd like to redact your L. Oh, the Mo. Yeah. Thank you. W. Officially. W.

Officially on the record. L redacted. So we're at a spot where you, um, so last we heard you, do you know about this? Please, uh,

reiterate. Um, Mook was sleeping with a girl and he found out that she's gone on from him to Mo Bamba. But also before him. She was 7'2 with arms like my size.

She's got a type. So huge. She fucked him before and after Mook. We thought that's an L. I was the rebound. NBA players fuck whatever. But then and after mook which is like we thought like that's an l like i was the rebound because like nba players fuck whatever but then like your people like spammed his instagram comments our

people the brgs right and then mobama was like into it he was like we got like can i hop on the pod mobama commented on the instagram and then slid in my DMs and said, what is this joke? Would love to come on the pod. Wow. Talking about this. Talking about this. So that meant that he didn't know what people were saying. Like what the chatter was about. The chatter was just like, they were just saying

your name in his Instagram comments. And tagging him on the Instagram. So he had no idea. There was no context. No context. He doesn't know that like when they were having sex, it was black and white, but she'd prefer to be red all over. Yes. I can't believe she never mentioned him to you or you to him. So you were talking to us in the group chat because he DM'd you. He initiated the DM.

So what did he say? Mo Bamba reached out to me and said, LOL, what is this joke? Would love to know and come on the pod in the DM. So what did he say? Mo Bamba reached out to me and said, LOL, what is this joke? Would love to know and come on the pod in the future. And how did you react to that? How do you respond to that? I would not respond with the truth. But what did you, when he said that, what did you do internally? So internally, my stomach flipped.

Yeah, I squealed. My stomach squealed. I think I let out a squeal on the path back to New Jersey. And I went, Mo's going to be mad at me. And you were texting us like, what do I respond? That's, yeah. Guys, I'm freaking out right now. That was a pretty good movie.

Oh, shit. And so I went to a bar in Jersey City. Then what happened? Ordered a JMO shot and a Guinness. Okay. to a bar in jersey city then what happened ordered a jmo shot and a guinness okay took the jmo shot sipped the guinness and started typing back like an hour later because i was freaking out yeah and what did you say verbatim i said moe huge creeping back to l huge fan here i'm born and raised in Philly, but now live in New York. We talked about me and you being Eskimo bros on our podcast,

and now our fan base is wilding out. Sorry for all the comments. Oh, you code switched. Why you did too much? Sorry about the fan base is wilding out. Sorry for all the comments on your page. You're the man. I've been a fan for a while.

You already said that at the beginning of it. Oh, mook. Who do you think sucks as Dick Harder? That girl or you? Yeah. Dude, no. Have you sent anything else to him? So I sent that message.

That's like to... Do you understand what you did wrong? Wait, can we start from the top? Of course, he's not going to want to hear that he's like Eskimo bros with a guy who respects him that much. If you know what I mean. How would you have responded, Kyle? I would have been like yeah it's it's double x uh what's good yeah i said yeah we hit double x what's good that's what you would have said i said yeah we doubled down what's good

because he already wants to come on our pod and you just like you you like sprayed him away i mean i don't think i sprayed him away how does you sound like a make-a-wish like oh dude i love dude big fan and then did i say big fan and by the way we fucked the same girl you'd be like you know what i'm saying i'm sorry yeah i mean i didn't want to just be like yeah me and you mo me and mo hit like i don't he would have respected that because he already respects you because you have like you have hitters and you have a podcast yeah anyway i sent that message hitters in a podcast he respects you what more you need hey mo big fan but yeah we're eskimo bros big fan eiffel tower question mark

that's i don't know if logistically that's possible no if you put your mind to be like a leaning tower pizza i just think i mean you could do it that would be like the straightest way you could have a devil's threesome because he'd probably be in another room mooks filming but he left that on scene for 30 minutes and how is that 30 minutes we at the bar not freaking out a couple more jmo shots later he responded all good period oh all good period all right and did you send anything back nope so that's it that's it okay That's it. Okay, well, I mean... Can he salvage this girl? Best case scenario, he has a... Is it an L now? No, maybe he has a current girl

and just doesn't want that, like, gaining, like, traction publicly. Yeah. Worst case scenario, he thought that was, like, very lame. Yeah, that is the... He's not gonna beat you up. No, it's fine. No, I... You can... You can understand why it was intimidated. It would be funny but what what um sparked

his interest in the first place was it a bunch of comments yes all right so let's keep that going chill honestly yeah what are you afraid of mo bamba no yes yeah for sure yeah that makes sense yeah and the girl in question yeah she's so the last time we were on the pod, you sent her a text that said, be real size difference? Question mark. Yeah. And she skipped that and went straight into, you got to stop talking about Mo Bamba. Oh. Yeah.

Should have told us that 15 minutes ago. I think it's fine. But she gave you the blessing prior, right? Yeah. She gave him it after. Well, before as well. Yeah. So you said Mo to start it off?

Yeah. Was it Moo? Did you actually come off saying Moo? It was like 6-0. Oh, that's Moo. You started off Moo-ing it. Moo-ed at him. Dude, you were like a heifer. That's what he said to him.

How many O's? One, two, three, four, five, six. Long moo. I'm a big mo guy. I love the song. He's a sixer. I was excited. I don't want to be too crass when asking about you and this girl but i have questions we'll save for after the pod okay did you have her moaning or moving because that would be big that'll be big yeah before we move forward before

we move forward did you have her screaming? Like vocal. She's squealing. Biting her lip. Did you have her arms behind her back? Were you looking at yourself in the mirror? I love you. I love you.

Did you force a cramp? I got no comment on this. Save it for therapy. Yeah. But her one rule was you could talk about on the podcast but you can do it during stand-up i can't so she either thinks you're a huge stand-up or we're a failing pod yes but she gave you the blessing to talk about this on this podcast just not stand up it's not oh okay yeah what's what's that what's that I don't know. What about like improv shows anywhere else? What if you're doing like a green screen video?

You should do a Jack Mack green screen on Mo Bamba. Yeah. Um, yeah. But your, uh, you have a tactic. Oh, Mook hit us with this first date tactic it's a great tactic i think it's pretty good i disagree i was polarizing i was i initially i was vehemently against i think it's the type of guy that it's it's the old jeffrey dahmer he's it's not the old jeffrey dahmer the new one the old jeffrey dahmer's murder yeah this is just what what do you do? So if you have a good rapport with a girl that you maybe loosely know or have matched with on hinge and you're texting her and have a good rapport before your first date, the day of you text her and say, hey, if you want to pregame this date at my apartment, take a couple of shots before we go to the show before we go to the bar come over we'll

have some shots it'll be fun yeah that it's like a lot of i don't think you should be seeing the place in the first time meeting so well you keep her in the i think that breaks the ice it's fun i get that i would much rather have that it just it could be predatory no i don I don't think it's all contact. Like, if you're having fun texting, it's like, yeah, I'm nervous for tonight. Do you want to come over and pregame it? Because everyone should go to the first date drunk already or buzzed hard.

You're both doing it without that happening. Everyone's taking a shot. She thinks she's going to end up in your crawl space, probably, though. As long as she's comfortable. Brody, what do you think? I was going to say, to answer your earlier question my greatest fear is to appear predatory that's like one of my greatest fears is to like which is why i go way aloof on everything in terms of like dating like i'm just like super aloof so i I appear to be like, I'd never want to be perceived or interpreted as predatory.

No, just don't be. But in, in like theory, this is being, being worried about being perceived as predatory is, is bad. Yeah.

And as I said that, I knew that was going to be the case, which is problematic. But in theory, what Mook is saying is I think actually great. It seems like the best case scenario. It can form like a a really cool bond it makes the date fun instead of awkward i think it's just super high risk super high reward the only risk is if she says yes or no yeah or it's just mad awkward no the only the biggest risk is not responding and it's done

just like this guy is weird saying all good period all good yeah i mean mook i mean if it's working for mook and then that's great like i think it's great it works i just i never that never would have ever crossed my mind to be honest so you don't want to go to the restaurant both be like sober and like yeah to starve from scray and then imagine the waiter takes 20 minutes to get your drinks and then you're in 20 minutes of just absolute hell yeah it's better just to go there but i think it's like unwritten that people drink beforehand anyway do you think that girl did a back-to-back mode of mook like day day one day two she had a wider spectrum than that's rata yeah spectrum you think did she mook was there a man is there a time frame where it could be one day to the next i don't mook you gotta stop worrying about her yeah i'm a little we're on to

chicago we are so yeah so yeah what so stop worrying about what she would possibly sing i brought that up on the yak and i got a dm if you guys want to hear it you got a dm from a chicago queen yeah she's followed by Luau Dang, Zach Levine. White Sox Dave. White Sox Dave. Well, she's not a Chicago queen yet, but she said, not me, but I feel like you're going to have a hot wife.

I hope that makes you feel better. Wow. Well, no, that makes you feel way worse. The first thing is not me. Who is this? Is she in Chicago? You deserve a The first thing is not me. Who is this? Is she in Chicago? You deserve a hot wife, but not me. That is a bizarre thing to say to a stranger.

It's a Twitter egg with two followers. No, no, she's a real one. Oh, mook, man. Not me. That's funny. Kyle, do the last ad. What episode number is this? 356. You episode number is this? 356.

You got anything on that? We'll get back to that. It's not an area code. Game time. Oh, yeah. Game time. Love it. I can't stress this enough.

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Like that's what's going to matter. If you have loved ones, take them. So created by fans for fans, you know, game time is the ticketing app that makes it easier than ever to score the last minute deals on tickets. Sports, concerts, shows, you name it. If it has a ticket for sale, GameTime will probably offer it to you for a better deal than the competitors.

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It's possible with the GameTime app the biggest last minute price drops can be found on the seats you thought you could never buy um if you want to buy these tickets it takes 10 seconds tops two taps of the finger and once you buy your tickets to deliver directly to your phone to your phone nailed it no printer needed no epson no anything needed no piece gigantic clunky piece of technology in the office needed the app also allows you to easily share the tickets and you know how that goes so skip the house i want to enjoy the moment download the game time or go to the website which is like almost more fun

than the apps they're both so fun like the app is easy and sleek but like when you go to the website it's probably more exciting enter your email redeem code untold for $20 off your first purchase

listen to me people ask me if you're going to an event, if you're going to a ticketed event, just use game time. It'll help us tremendously and it won't hurt you by any means. So game time. We'll use it to go to a Cubs game. Yeah, and I already got tickets.

We'll go to a Sox game. Sox, Cubs. What are you a fan of? I'll just go to baseball games. I'm not going to... I'm going to be the Sox guy at the office. We don't have one yet. Open market. White Sox, Nick?

What's the vibe at a Sox game versus a Cubs game? Sox fans take it a little more seriously. Probably a little more prone to getting beaten up. I view it as like disneyland versus the thorny area in lion king that's pretty accurate because wrigley has you guys are familiar with both of those wait a minute yeah yeah we're scar chills um the elephant graveyard yes or you chose a real thing but it's confusing because that real thing's property is yeah yeah yes accidentally like really high yeah sorry already before we were really interrupted um wrigley has

clark street which has a dozen bars one of which we went to yesterday one of which was closed and white sock stadium only has about two so yeah so those two bars are popping yeah i picture like white sock stadium having like an auto zone in it that's city field dude the outside of city fields all like muffler shops yeah which is kind of sick yeah it's not too far from mccormick place so i guess you're right mccormick place is that where the auto zone is that's where the auto show is a big convention center in chicago dude i actually would like to go to an auto show that's no dude that's really boring you could go you, that's really boring.

That's the equivalent of scrolling through Google images. Yeah, but I like the guys, dude. I like the guys with belts that are going to, on the precipice of exploding. Oh, yeah, those guys always do have, yeah, that's accurate. A mean buckle, too, to go with it. Yeah. That's pretty accurate. Oh, man.

Kyle, you got anything else going on? No, we're probably about to go out or something. Where do you get really fucked up? Well, we're close to Clark Street. We can go there again. Or, you know, there's L&L. You don't want to do what? This neighborhood. It's called L&L Tavern. It's where John Wayne Gacy used to grab beers.

That doesn't sound particularly appeasing. You're going to like it. Where can Kyle get the most fucked up? Honestly. Yeah. I like to do like green tea shots, like shots that are like half delicious. Okay.

We'll just go to boys town then. Yeah. Where we just were. I'm willing to take an Uber. No, you said that. What fits Kyle the best green tea shot. Let's go to a mook stomping grounds. Ooh. Yeah. Old green t-shirt let's go to uh mook's stomping grounds

oh yeah old town yeah let's go to old town let's find some queens let's go to well street what do you think of well street i loved it i love what i see out of the west loop where i'm moving uh your apartment was obviously splendid it was almost too too miraculous to the eyes. To the point where you should feel guilt. I felt guilt for you. Can we back up about the garbage shoot? Of all the things in Chicago, you guys are most shocked

and amazed by the fact that he had a garbage shoot. No, we have garbage shoots too. We thought it was right in front of his door. He's going to make girls throw their panties down there before he gets into the house. How would he be? Before you come to my place, you know the one rule.

Listen. So the panties off your person. I'm talking to him like I'm a cop. Take your panties off the person. He would do that. He's not trying to be predatory. And listen, I don't want to be predatory. I don't need to touch him. I just need to see them leave your pussy and put them down the chute.

And then she just puts her pants back. Put them down the chute. Then she put them back on. Actually, I'm going to need you to recycle. No, listen. Slide off your fucking panties off your pussy. Guilty. Garbage sheets right there.

You won't be needing these. You're not going to need these And it's not that I'm trying to fuck you I just want you to be comfortable I just want you to be as comfortable as possible You know the script dude Trust me I'm in my place all the time

You're going to be way more comfortable without anything over your pussy I have makeup wipes Listen I want you to be comfortable in my place That's the guy I have makeup wipes. I want you to be comfortable in my place. That's the guy. Just gaslight them and say, you don't do this in New York. Crumple them.

Fucking crumple them because I don't want to get... You had a lot to drink. I purified water. You have a Brita? Put them down the chute. Put them down the fucking chute. Close the door I don't even watch I do need another off

I'll turn around don't you feel don't you feel don't you feel better now zipper your jeans back up I'm gonna have to do this move yeah it's kinda hot

yeah it's kinda sexy that was good yeah it's like the advanced Pokemon of mooks move yeah throw him down the shoot come to my place just throw him down the shoot I have fireball It's kind of sexy. That was good. It's like the advanced Pokemon of Mook's move. Come to my place.

Just throw him down the chute. I promise I won't be needing anything. I promise you. Look at me. Look at me. You won't be needing anything. His hands are like this. My hands are tented.

Throw him down the trash. Throw him down the trash. That's not good. You're not going to tell your dad. He's so much more comfortable. Comfortable how? My jeans are rubbing against my pussy i'm wearing a romper i mean that's they're pretty much like you're not wearing anything anyway but i want to keep the pants i want to keep take them off can i at least keep them sure you're in for a treat brother yeah we were shitting crazy after dinner yeah my body hasn't adjusted yeah to use the chicago hotel i had plunder yeah wait you what

you clogged your hotel toilet and this is like i'll maybe grosser i like stained it to a point where i needed to like really scrub off the shit stained porcelain i piss them off sometimes wait one shit would give you that tremendous of a stain my yeah like when i ever when i break protocol it's it's the stickiest shit it's so gross and i have to like scrub it off after they use like the other side of the plunger like your shit's like hydrophobic it's like it's yeah um like laminates it yeah had to win the meatballs wait how did you get our rooms don't have plungers we got so much meat we're at citizen m yeah to the right of the toilet it's a small plunger how small it's like probably like half the size of an average one but it's not that small you can picture that yeah you

know half the size of an average it's like a make me think of it as a small plunger. It's like a small plunger. It's a size of a large plunger, yeah. Small plunger. And you're sharing your room with, these are tiny little rooms, but you're sharing your room with your girlfriend. Yes. Was she there while you were doing this? She's used to this. She's lived with me for upwards of a year now.

She's used to the farts and I love it. We both love it. She loves it. She loves it. No, but I love the fact that she's not like visibly outwardly faced by it you guys are just laying in bed playing with your chubby cubbies farting each other's faces i don't know i'll like roll over and slide onto the the bean bag and fart onto that you'll roll over and slide on you have the bean bag right next to the bed yeah so i there's no like i

can just roll right onto the beanbag and i'll fart onto that and then you roll back onto bed you have a fart zone i like i'm eating at a protein clip that is like impossible to they do go stop the farts yeah they go crazy i'm jealous of that actually how late how far into the relationship were you where you were just really blown i do it that's like one thing that's not awkward about me is i do it off the rip to like gauge like interest like first date you'll fart kyle interest so she comes into the apartment to gauge the ki you fart immediately off the rip yes you say come over to my place before we go on a date off the rip you're like before you speak? No, but like first time in the same apartment,

I'm going to get the farts out and the shits. I'm picturing like you going through Mook's playbook. You walk into the apartment. You're standing there, arms at your side, not touching any furniture

and you just rip ass before any words are said. You take your panties off. The first one should be like. No, you take your panties off. I was like, what do you want me?

Do you have a shoot? What do you want me to do with these? Take your panties off. Do you have a chute? What do you want me to do with these? Take your panties off. The first one has to be like a punchline almost. There is a chance to laugh at something other than the fact that it's just a fart. Then you can gauge interest

and go from there. Did you guys go to the hotel pool last night? No. I didn't know we had one. Yeah. Wait a minute. Didn't know we had one. Yeah. You do. Wait a minute. I heard a story about you.

It was Liam that said you went to a hotel. You did, Danny. And what did you ask the hotel employee? We're a little drunk, and I asked their jean policy. If we could wear jeans in the pool. What'd she say? I prefer you didn't, but... She can't, like...

I putt-putted with Kyle at Swingers, and this guy was like, any questions? And you were like, can we have as much fun as we want? It was like, I guess. It was crazy golf. It was crazy golf.

And so you wanted to know... So did you only have jeans uh that weekend yeah and and uh muggsy shorts there's no employee swim at that hotel either you asked about employee swim you would think that's a thing that would be like you would assume yes all the employees get their own time in the pool but no they blow the whistle and everybody's storming in from the hotel the bell hopped as a jackkn. No one at the reception desk. Y'all ever see a bell hop to a jack knife?

Oh, I guess that's it. Danny's done. That's fine. That's fine. Let's wrap it. God bless. God bless.