A New Untold Story - Circus Music - A New Untold Story: Ep. 373

Episode Date: December 7, 2023

Circus Music. Ads: Factor - Head to https://FACTORMEALS.com/kb50 and use code kb50 to get 50% off. Gametime - Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code UNTOLD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). Marine Layer - For a limited time get 15% off at https://marinelayer.com/UNTOLD Rent.App - Head to https://Rent.app/barstool for $50 off your first rent payment and download Rent app in the App store todayYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, a new untold story listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad-free on Amazon Music. Are we good? Mm-hmm. Oh, shit. Okay. All right.

I'm just going to clap. I don't know if everyone's... That's your reply to what I'm going to say. No, you're just going to say... No, that's a new untold story. Hey, is that story old or told? What? No, baby! That's a new untold story. Hey, is that story old or told? What? No, baby!

That's a new untold story. A new untold story. It's a fresh, big untold story. A new untold story episode. Three. Seventy four. Three seventy three. Fuck.

Try to fucking milk anything about this number out of me. Don't try. There's nothing. No no i feel like we're just for the next 100 episodes are there going to be no we're in an area code drought yeah get out of it kind of sad yeah maybe balls in our court no not at all um the year 373 this is where you're looking at the roman empire the year 373 bulk of the the significant historical things the huns were were active and then the chinese okay i would love a chinese hun like me on 373 there's nothing else it's not a weight of any professional athlete it's not a batting average there's no professional athlete that weighs 373 none okay we're there's one player

left in all of big four professional sports for weight football it's basketball shack or maybe it's football active there's one left active no of all time who's weight above 373 shack it's not shack it's not sure you didn't say yeah i didn't because i forget who it is i just know i know this. Yeah. There's one weight left. Okay. There we go. What are you doing? Volume. Okay.

Let's start. I'm not going to milk you for anything else. I feel like I'm going to start talking and you're going to try to jump in with the 373 fact. That's something I would do, right? Right. But no? Mm-mm. try to jump in with the 373 fact that's something i would do right right but no all right um welcome back to a new untold story kyle nick rudy so i'm gonna jump into it i'm about to jump in Yeah go ahead Um Mook Nothing man?

Nothing Dude we were just getting cocktails What does that mean? What does that mean? We're a team we were just at the table We had a team dinner Enjoying cocktails Like you know applauding each other's opinions it was great

yeah we're all on the same team right now for sure for sure so you're not going to try to no i wouldn't do anything to sabotage any of your segments i don't have segments okay maybe improv i found the perfect clothing their stuff is so soft and it makes for the perfect gift too i guess i know exactly all thanks you can't just say i guess because i like you so much i don't want to oh yeah it hurts to give i'm jealous i'd rather uh jealous when they're ripping open that buy it wear it not give it to someone else you're talking about marine layer they're san francisco base brand so you know the marine isn't some type of facade. They're on the water.

Marine Layer. Honestly, you can get all your holiday shopping done at Marine Layer. I agree. Yeah. I agree. Every bit. Something for your girlfriend, check. Something for your dad, check.

They got the sweaters, the tees, the overshirts, the bean the beanies you name it i'll be getting some i've already gotten some absurdly soft stuff from their website really really soft when you wear it you can't stop touching it yep i think my favorite items are their winter archive collection it's super vintage ski inspired with a ton of bright colors color block puffer vests and more the best part they have free shipping and returns for an entire year no question asked so i don't have to worry about getting someone the wrong size color or anything like that just make sure to order by december 18th get it before christmas that's right and for a limited time get 15% off at marinelayer.com slash untold. It's marinelayer.com forward slash U-N-T-O-L-D

for 15% off your entire order. Save me your closet one shirt at a time. Look no further at Marinelayer to find the best gifts. No brainer. We finally got screen recording to work so we can overlay what we've been talking about on screen. Beautiful. So, Moot, can you just pull up

a photo of Avenged Sevenfold? Sure. Kyle, I want you to try to guess the guys' names. Okay. Based off appearance, I'll give you one free one so you can get the vibe of their names. Give me their, what is their top song? Because I've heard of them.

He who makes a beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man. Back country. Give me the bridge or the chorus can't you help me because i'm starting to burn vaguely vaguely okay uh let's not let's not use that one let's use the one that you're hovering over yeah those that one it looks like a floyd's barbershop avenge sevenfold rocks but i want you to try to guess their names so you can pick out one of those guys

and I'll give you his name you'll give me their name? I'll give you his name and then you have to guess the rest based off of the vibe of okay wow let's start easiest the most like similar to us okay front the guy with the bicep tat him guy with the slightly a below average bicep that's a pretty big sunglasses that's

the lead singer that he's the most normal name i would say he's he'd be like a justin his name's m shadows all right so now that i gave you that um uh let's go start with the far left yeah well based on that i'm gonna say there's i was i was gonna say like Rex, but now I'm going to say like VP Forgery. That's Zachy Vengeance, I believe. Is it Zachy Vengeance? Maybe. Okay, Blonde. Yeah, Blonde.

I was going to say like Heath, but now I'm going to say like J Forgery. Did you guys J Forgery for the last one? What did I? You guys J4D. You think they're brothers? You said VP4D and that's J4D. I said ZBrilliance. That's Johnny Christ.

Johnny Christ? Yeah. He's the bassist. The blonde one with the small head? Yeah, that's him. The next one is extreme. Yes, it is. It is.

Lead guitarist his guitar is pinstripe okay um do you want a hint it's an ad his first name's an adjective okay and his last name is an entrance. Okay. First name is adjective. Last name is an entrance. An entrance. Yeah. Okay. Think of like a black door. It's not black door, but I'll give you one more guess okay i'm trying to think of my brain is racking for entrances um door comes to mind a thousand times door comes to mind every

time it's like i can't get over the hurdle more think of more entrances um sometimes i think of like the beads but it's still a door it's still a door yeah it's still a door okay a cavern but that would that would not be an individualized entrance think of other entrances other entrances um is this this could be geographic like natural entrances. Nope. The people laughing, the people laughing maybe in the background. Are you guys, are other entrances coming to mind? Name an entrance. You're also confused. Name a type of entrance.

A gateway, a fence. I would consider that a barricade. Maybe the opposite of an entrance. I was thinking of like a type of entrance being like how you operate. Oh, no. Okay. It's physical. Like sashay. of an entrance i was thinking of like a type of entrance being like how you operate as oh no okay it's physical um like sachet like a slide yeah like the kool-aid man like so think of an evil entrance oh cordial portal that is cordial portal all right next i got that for real no dude that's sinister gates

all right the next we talked about him and then far on the right the drummer rest in peace um he he's the he has the coolest name i think it's a profession okay no adjectives no he's around it's just a profession okay so think of the theme of all the rest so I'm all right mine's going to lawyer doctor blue collar white collar um i guess white collar salary not much white collar not little okay so librarian that's the librarian yeah that's the reverend the reverend. The reverend. Yeah. That's Avenged Sevenfold. That's them? Yeah, that's them. And they were considered like... Dude, they're like hardcore cool or soft emo punk?

No, no. They were like dad cool. They were instrumental. They got a lot of people into music. I've heard of the band. I know their legacy. I know that it's. Yeah, that's them, man.

They dress cool. We should actually. I'm instating a dress code next month, December, or that's December now. January. Pardon my take this jumpsuit. January.

We're doing Avenged Sevenfold January. Do they pioneer this style that I'm looking at? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

For the most part. Avenged Sevenfold January. We're doing Avenged Sevenfold January, and I want our listeners to play along. What is their personality types? What would be on their personal life? They love video games, playing music. Controversies? No.

No, they're pretty clean guys. Cool guys. Dude, do you know what one of the newer members who did a cameo's name is? The drummer? Probably their current drummer after the Rev died. We're pretty good at this. It's closer than you might think.

It's a name you've already heard. A relative of someone who works here. Matt? A relative of someone who works here. Matt? A relative of someone who works here. Are we dealing with a surname? Yeah, I think we're going to do surname if we're guessing relatives. So we're guessing Matt? First and last name.

Real name of a relative of someone who works here. Okay. Like Carter Teraney? I was the only person you could think of i don't know what i told you that was one co-worker i'm the only last name you know in the office oh fuck um mince no walker no that's all i got titus no Is it in this office? Not currently. What does that fucking mean? Not now? Fleming?

Not in this particular moment, but this person has been in this office. That's so... The guy's name is Mike Portnoy. Oh! Is that Dave's dad's name? It's Dave's dad's name. Wait, who is it? He's the drummer.

For who? Avenged Sevenfold. He's not in that picture no that was the rev the rev passed away he filled i guess he got added to the band he was in dream theater yeah so it says that oh cool he uh he was in a few bands. Dream Theater. Those guys are real musicians. That's a cool guy. He's been in Adrenaline Mom, Transatlantic, Yellow Matter Custard, Flying Colors, a lot of bands. He's a journeyman. Neil Morris band.

Kyle was listening to Red Jumpsuit Apparatus in high school. Face down, face down. So you remember the name of the song, but you didn't remember the song whatsoever is that it face down the song's face down but it didn't go like that but you were how did it go face down face down do you feel like a man when you yeah i know that you were close yeah bad band name bad bad band name red jumpsuit apparatus who's your favorite like lead singer name lead singer that's an actual name axl rose that's his actual name i don't think so jacoby shaddock jacoby shaddock's of what was he in i just remember him from uhred. Papa Roach. Papa Roach.

His hair. Yes. These guys are. There's no way his actual name is Jacoby Shaddix. These guys are fools. No, dude. So that's a genre called butt rock. Papa Roach is butt rock.

Papa Roach is butt rock. Avenged Sevenfold is probably butt rock too at this point. They're kind of prog metal, but butt rock rock give me a tour of some of the other sub genres um it's kind of tough off like there's new metal there's there's all kinds of genres there's uh post hardcore it's hardcore alt rock and there's tons but butt rock i've said this before on the pod it's like when it's anything that would play on a radio station that says we're playing nothing but rock and it evolved from that oh yeah yeah but butt rock rules like creed's butt rock okay puddle of mud yeah

with two d's we're big Buck Cherry fans on this show. I've been going home and watching music videos of these bands. On your television? Yeah. It's fun. It's really fun. But like,

the quality of video is so bad for back then. Yeah, they didn't have the tech. They didn't have the cameras. But I'm obsessed with like, dudes trying to look cool in a music video. Because none of these guys were probably cool. But you got to watch some Avenged Sevenfold videos when you go home.

Yeah, but what was their life like? I don't know, dude. What? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what the fuck that meant. Yeah, they were fucking music stars. They probably had mansions and uh did tours and sang a lot i guess that's the studio and like yeah what we got kyle i think it's the time of

year to start thinking about meals food yeah and what you're gonna do to feed yourself well the bustling holiday season is upon us you might be looking for nutritious flavorful meals to fuel you on jam fuel you on jam-packed days what what is it factor has such a broad collection of meals yeah they're all so good i would cut in right now but you're preaching the consistency is top-notch factor america's number one ready to eat meal delivery service it can help you eat well for breakfast lunch and dinner three three that with chef prepared dietitian approved ready to eat meals delivered straight to your door. You cut out the meal prepping.

All of it. You cut out the mess. Cleaning out bowls. Cleaning out strainers from your gnocchi. And these meals taste good. Yeah. That's the most important part of a meal. If you want healthy, you'll get healthy. If you want keto, you'll get keto.

If you want gluten free, you'll get gluten free. If you want delicious, you'll get delicious. All of them are delicious. There's not an option for delicious on the i said if you want delicious with no uh with no yeah keep going there's words in front of you just go with the word i'm gonna tag you in no no man i don't have it i don't have it no i. I know Factor's great. I've had it. Every meal, I've had like four to five,

and every meal was delicious. Easy to make. I'm just struggling with bulleted, typed out. So if you're ready to experience the next generation of... It's hard. Oh, I'm reading 3C. the next generation of... It's hard. Oh, I'm reading 3Chi.

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This December, get Factor and enjoy eating well without the hassle. Head to factor meals dot com slash KB five zero and use code KB five zero to get 50 percent off. That's code KB 50 at factor meals dot com slash KB 50 get 50 percent off. I have a task for the three of you boys. Do next week. OK, Rudy, can you hand me my backpack do you feel like a man i liked your

version actually way better i was thinking of a melody of a different song face down face down this is where dreams areary no no no yeah i don't know gentlemen by the end of the week each of you have a disposable camera i will bring these in to get developed and we will look through the photos see who has the most interesting life i love this yeah this is fun dude and it'll be a

separate video we put out on the anise it won't be a podcast and i will go through and look through every photo and uh we'll do a critique this is amazing um you're um so kyle you're one million percent losing yours this you're already stumped this this is a fucking pop snack yeah it looks like a klondike bar you, I figured this was the peak of technology you could use. I remember using this, yeah. Took it to Niagara Falls. I'll go get them developed.

You're going to start? Are you going to look through it? Yeah, no, I got it. No chance. Yours are going to be so bad. Mine are going to be bad, yeah. Yeah, so the, I would like to how many photos are on it

look at the top the top the top 27 thank you Mook do you know what the top this would be the top where do you see 27 on the box

we have it on the box it's definitely on the top too no it says 27 right there in the dead center of the top yeah if you look through the this will be fun this is going to be too much for you no this is a challenge this is a competition is it a comp okay so i will choose the winner of who i want you guys to actually try to be photographers you yeah i know what you guys are going to do. I'm going to go for rare. What are we going to do? I'm going to go for,

what are we going to do? You guys are going to go for like goofy, zany, goofy, zany, you don't know what I'm going to do. Like a homeless guy with a shirt off. I'm going to go rare.

Like that sounds rare. Three nouns that you haven't seen in the same place ever. That's my goal. Three nouns? Yeah. So like maybe one person, two items, or maybe one item, two people, types of people. I'm going for the rarest combination.

Give me an example of a one item, two person. So when I go for these pictures, I'm not going to just snap, snap, snap a roo. I'm going to go to a place. I'll be in New York in a couple days with you. Tomorrow. And I will go off on my own and I will find three things, three subjects of the photograph. That have never

been together. That have never been together. That have never been together. Can you give me the slightest example? A barista sure a flamethrower and an Emmy yeah I figured as much it's like a Mad Lib

like that yeah something like that do you know what a Mad Lib is a globe a falcon and um a nun oh that sounds tough that's but i'm not gonna be able to like i'm gonna have to find it myself of course then determine like all those three things i hope you do this all right yeah so i will put i'm going to uh make a video next week you're going through all the photos i will it'll be the first time i look at them too so, so I'll be opening up the packaging and looking through the developed photos.

It's going to be between Mook and Rudy because that will be lost. Now we'll see. Your finger's already been all over the lens, and you're going to try to touch it to wipe it off, make it worse. You already cranked it. Do you want to take a photo now? Yes, i have to i have packages myself you have packages yourself yeah so wait you said uh a couple weeks here you're gonna start decorating the office do you know what these are no okay

and for those listening maybe jump over the youtube we're trying to get the subscribers up there a little bit not too much i got a bunch of 40k i're trying to get the subscribers up there a little bit. Not too much. I got a bunch of stuff. I'm close to 40K. I'm trying to get to a million Instagram followers next year. You're on pace. Yep. Or you got to post. Nah. I think I overhyped.

I mean, you said you got a 10-foot alien. A spree. Okay. But nothing was like crazy. You bought a 10 foot alien. This isn't it. What is it? Oh.

This is a quilt? I think it's like just a weed rug. What's it say? Sorry. I'm high as fuck here we go yes oh yeah hell yeah it actually fits nicely

in this area it does yeah the room's really coming together we should try to keep this room a little bit cleaner yeah we'll get there sorry I'm high as fuck

are you sorry kind of I've been kind of leaning on that have you guys been smoking Yeah. We'll get there. Sorry I'm high as fuck. Are you sorry? Kind of. I've been kind of leaning on that. Have you guys been smoking? Nah. I don't touch the stuff. I've been taking edibles.

Yeah. No, I've been taking the stuff, the Revolution. Yeah. Yeah, that they've given us and it's phenomenal. It's too good. It's so much better. It made me realize that I was getting high off gas station weed. You were. Which probably isn't weed.

Probably not. I don't know if anyone knows what that is. So no wonder. Like I was like waking up in hell every day. But yeah. Yeah, you were hung over from gas station weed. A clean, yeah, like Durban poison. A clean weed is better.

Wait, Durban poison? That was like the baby Jeter's. Yeah. It says like Durban poison. And then it has an emblem of mushrooms on the bottom that i just realized so what were you smoking every day and i was like this shit feels like can you look up durban poison i've been zooted off the three chi three chi's our sponsor, right? Yeah. Oh, it's a strain of weed. Fire.

Durban poison. You've been smoking Durban poison? It's energetic uplifting. But why was there the mushroom symbol? That made me realize, oh, this shit is something else. Maybe it's cut with something. What's the other box? I'm very curious.

I don't have a blade on me. What? It was a cutlery or some sort. Oh, dude, you fell off. No, where's my coat? It's light as a mitten outside. It's light as a mitten? It's from Sci-Fi Shop 2. On the backside.

On the backside, you might be able to rip it for it from patty lane you want my keys yeah i think that was it man i have no idea what this is size makes sci-fi to makes me think it's an alien of some sort I have no idea what this is. Sci-fi.

Sci-fi, too, makes me think it's an alien of some sort. I think I could take an educated guess and say this is some type of alien figurine. Although I thought every alien figurine I purchased was life-size. Did you fuck up? Is it 10 inches, not 10 feet? This is 10 inches. This is 10 inches. This is 10 inches.

I thought this was going to perch on that corner up to the ceiling. You thought it was 10 feet? How much was it? This cost so much money. Give me the box. I've got to find the receipt. This cost so much money. This is a fucking toy.

This is a claw machine toy. Can you describe it for the podcast? It's an alien thinking with his sitting on a perched on a stone and just thinking. You thought that was going to be 10 feet? How much did I pay for this? Oh, no, man. That's so disappointing. Go to your email.

That's so disappointing. Go to your email. I emptied my parlay winnings specifically to go on an Etsy spree of all high value purchases from Etsy. And this was like, this had to have been $100. You're not going to get something. 100 plus.

If I remember correctly, I was like, oh yeah, I'll pay 250 for the. You thought it was going to be 10 feet. It's only $100. Don't break it. I feel it. I think sweet. Oh, it's shitty. Yeah, it sucks. Oh. It's only $100. Don't break it. What do you feel? Oh, it's shitty.

Oh, it's 3D printed. Is he shitting or is he thinking? He's just thinking. He's got butt crack though. It's like hot glued onto the rock. That sucks. Look how much you paid for that. You thought it was going to be 10 feet. How high were you?

What 10 foot item could you get for that. You thought it was going to be 10 feet. How high were you? What 10 foot item could you get for $200? I thought if it was like plastic, like a cardboard cutout. Yeah. A mace window. It's not an alien. Maybe. Yeah, I guess technically Martian. Or, yeah.

Damn, man. I mean, this is pretty, we'll put it right here he's leaned really far forward when you put him down yeah it's don't know if it's well done oh it looks cool it's just sad that it is

yeah $137 so you understand why I was like oh this is gonna be huge let me see the link I wanna see if it's obviously 10 inches $137 for this that's bad and I spent $600 on a sword

that didn't show up oh you have to see your password yeah wait you used a discount code it was 155 I did yeah I thought this was gonna be an episode

like and everyone would be like singing my praises like we'd be talking about how funny the alien thing is people wouldn't be able to walk past our studio without taking a peek that shit sucks he's sitting on like a pool rock. An aquarium rock.

Alright, yeah, we'll keep it there. I fuck with him heavy. Thank you. I like him a lot. I actually got you guys something too. You got us gifts? Yeah. What the hell is happening? I just saw these on the internet. You guys can pick whichever one is

your poison. I just saw them on the internet. You guys can pick whichever one is your poison. I'll take the bottom. Just saw them on the internet. I just had to get it. These are not custom. Wait, did you customize? You didn't customize I love my Rudy? These are not custom. These are not custom.

They're not custom. They're not custom. I'm going to have to wear this. What's yours say? is rudy centric it's like a nutritional way you one billion percent bought these for yourself for no yes you did that's crazy why would i buy it for myself that makes no sense oh and you customize this i did not customize any of it rud Rudy, nutrition facts. Serving size one, phenomenal queen. Queen things, 100%. Beauty, 100%.

Cares given, zero. What? That's horrible. Yeah. Oh, they couldn't say fucks. Honey, maybe dripping from body, 100%. What? What the fuck?

That's not custom. I think it's made for a woman. Well, no, but honey dripping from... Oh, does that mean like cooch? That's a fat girl t-shirt. That is a fat girl t-shirt. You're welcome. Dude, thank you, brother.

Thank you. I'll fold it. Like a mistress. You have a girl you're in contact with, Mook. Yeah. Oh. The love of my life the perth queen she was in 50 cents perth recap video opening scene flashing flashing her vibes everywhere sure and uh sure that's one way to say yeah she's got big old vibes. And I picked up on the vibes and tweeted, you know, can I get her contact info? And the boys, the boys found her right away. She's an OnlyFans model, a stripper, and just an absolute queen. And she followed you back.

She followed me back. Are you going to leave? So this prank we played on you, making you fly, get blood clots in your legs, potentially dying, is going to backfire on us yeah yeah i'm gonna stay in perth followed you but okay so this girl is like a like a sex working socialite in perth yes she was in 50 cents 50 cent did a concert there and it looked insane it looked like perth Perth showed out. Perth looked cool. Perth went crazy. Yep. And she just started the video out with a flash. She did a flash and then she went...

She played it off like she was embarrassed. She wasn't. She was like, what are you going to do about it? And what was on... You went to her... You found her at name?

One of the boys did. Did you look at it? Oh, yeah. Did you scroll through? Yeah. What was the page? I love her. Her proportions are like of a

five-year-old designed woman with clay with clay not five-year-old uh fifth grader yes yes uh misincredible yeah kind of situation it's like full of whimsy yeah but i'm gonna say right now if you fuck this girl i'll kill kill myself. I'll be so mad. Why would you be mad? I'll be mad at myself, but jealous. Mad at yourself for what? Not fucking this woman that lives in Perth? Yeah.

You've never been to Perth. I would be so happy if Mook did, but I'll also be like simultaneously. Let's workshop some ins. Yeah. I think the, if coming with like maybe a barstool microphone that will help. No, I don't know if it will in Perth. No, no, no. if it will in Perth. What would this woman?

What would the microphone do? I don't know. She looks, she's like, flocks toward opportunities. She retweeted my tweet. Yeah, so she's obviously interested. Yeah, she obviously is sexually attracted. Based on her Twitter, which is a lot, like a good tool to like show off your interests your pat what is what is she into what is her opinion uh i think she's just into looking hot i i can't get a read besides just her her magnificent vibes it's a very cool page yeah all right i think she'd be into like

I think she'd be into like reality TV. Okay. Okay. Bold claim. Okay. Bold claim for an attractive woman to be into. Yeah. I got to find her page.

Tweet at her right now and just be like, at name, do you like reality TV? Trying to learn more about you. I don't want to blow this. I think she would want to be on a reality TV show, even if was like to her i think a barstool cameo it could be big bring a stick mike yeah no dude i i want to hang out with this girl i want to be just in her presence i don't care about fucking her of course yeah i just want to she is a i'm in love. Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm happy for you, man.

Me too. Thank you. Thank you, boys. Bring her a gift. Yeah, what should I bring her? You know gifts. Yeah, you're good with us. Yeah, what are the creative gifts?

What does a Perth queen want? I'll think of it. I'll think of something. My mind's not all there. What you got? What's that crinkle this is gonna be left here 1 million percent you're gonna move it somewhere else and it's gonna get left

dude her follower account went up like 3,000 people no well yeah she I was in a 50 cent video and showed her giant enormous boobs she was untagged. No one knew her at name until you sent for her. The boys found her. For you.

Yeah. You're like one of the most influential creeps. Relax with that. I would say that. I don't think what I did was creepy. Find me this woman. Wait, wait. No, no, no, no.

I'm not saying you're you are a creep but what did you do i just said uh yo 50 cent can i get the contact info of the queens in the opening scene please oh you guys 50 yeah yeah yeah oh you're saying i that was fine from your end yeah yeah please like yeah i need have you i need senate dm no let's workshop one start start with yo yo i don't want to blow my load too early oh my god what does that mean you're saying you don't want to reach my load too early. Oh my God. What does that mean? You're saying you don't want to reach out. I'm not going until March.

Yeah. Tell her right now. What are you doing in March? I think the block is hot right now. Yeah. You think now's the time. Now's the time. I think you'd be like, yo, like appreciate.

I appreciate the follow. I'll be there in March. I'll be there in March. Doing a video for work. I would love for you to show me around. Show me everything a rap a two words show one tit a round yeah all right how many o's and yo three no one it's four one one yeah dude six or seven probably one yo thanks for the follow period put yo period that's crucial

yo period period yeah thanks for the follow is that that's a play that's crucial thanks because then it's like you don't want to be like a run-on sentence dude drops for the follow i'll don't say thanks for the follow did you guys agree with me on that one we were the one yeah i in this what do you say then yo i'll be in perth like no yeah it's too much be like yo thanks but thanks for the follow makes them believe like just by following you yeah yeah oh that's such a that feels uh yo indifferent on the follow yeah perfect yeah that's the great equalize it's the great equalize you're recognizing the follow but you're indifferent on it different not even maybe like not even sure if you follow me or not yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah why weren't we manipulating yeah let's yeah let's manipulate what were we thinking

yo don't know if you follow me uh but i tweeted i i tweeted at you uh i'll be in perth for work no i don't think the beginning part i don't think you don't want to explain yourself you want to be there naturally even though you're not you feel me i think you say yo what do we come up with again sorry you said yo period yo period and you just like yo is the sentence yeah yeah okay punctuation doesn't matter yo don't know if you follow me or not but i'll be in perth i think you skipped the explanation of like the whole situation yeah yo don't know if you follow me or not but i'll be in perth the explanation so don't even say just be yo camera time yeah uh yo march march of next year maybe just maybe just the dates yeah march that that's creepy no no no sending dates to a random girl send the dates and then say if you're free yeah no no no

you send the dates and you say and action yeah with like the little director the emoji will let yes know the context oh yeah i said set the dates march and then the director cut emoji is that an emoji it's gotta be and action and action do you want me to tell you what i would send without any what would you say yo queen uh-uh gonna be in perth march 7th or march 9th uh filming stuff for work you're leaving to go on the 7th you won't be don't even say gonna be in perth yeah every guy who comes to perth dms her that that's true you gotta be a local celeb over there because she like how many hot girls like that are in perth there's millions millions of people in Perth, aren't there? Australia, too. You gotta treat her like she's nothing.

He's not wrong. Don't put her... Wait, should he neg her a little bit? Yo, pet name? What should it be? Yo, stinky? I love her. I'm gonna start getting pissed

but let's i want to table this i want to get drunk in the right right or something i think it's just fire i think you fire i don't think any of these are gonna work no there's a happy medium between what we said yeah you want to do i don't think yo queen is that bad but i wouldn't do it i wouldn't do it either i would just say yo and then just say gonna be in perth i'll be there here's a good uh like a good experience just talk to her as if she was danny devito and you need her and you need him for a video that's a that's pretty good it's not bad yeah like that's someone you really want for a video right yeah but you have no attraction toward.

No, but you'd be disappointed if it didn't work out. You need to lower it a little bit. True. The Walt Jr. Yeah. Act like you're DMing Walt Jr. from Breaking Bad. You kind of want him for a Barstool video cameo, but it wouldn't be end all be all.

Okay, so I'm going to start. Yo, what's up? Yeah. That's perfect. That might work. I think she'd like that more than Yo Queen. You don't know that. I doubt.

I doubt. If she heard this conversation, she would be disgusted. There's no chance in hell she's hearing this. What? I don't think she'd be disgusted, dude. She's on OnlyFans. What does that mean?

She is actual creep saying weird shit to her. Yeah, but that doesn't mean she likes it. Yeah, dude. You fucking pig. I would imagine she's disgusted by them, yeah. Yeah. They're also paying her. Yeah, I just don't know if slur is the right way to go.

Okay. Where are you in this message? Nowhere. You didn't even get to the yo? Nope. I deleted it. Dude, I'm nervous. Yo, yo, period.

I want her to be my target. Here, toss me your phone. I won't send. I'll monitor it. I got it. You won't send. I'll proctor it. I'll proctor it.

I got you. Can I sit behind you? No. No, but I'll throw it back to a proctor. I won't send until you approve. Mook, I'll make sure. I wouldn't fuck He won't send. I'll proctor it. I'll proctor it. I got you. Can I sit behind you? No. But I'll throw it back to a proctor. I won't send until you approve. Mook, I'll make sure. I wouldn't fuck this up for you. I mean, this is just going to go bad.

No, man. When have we ever led you astray? This is so dumb. I just gave you my phone. Fuck. What's he typing? What's he typing what's he typing I'll read it to you at the end I'm just making sure he doesn't hit send

yeah I need final say on this throughout the annals of time what the fuck no Annals of time. What the fuck? No. Nick? No. Is he yapping? What do I say?

Is that a whole lot of yap? He's on two sentences. let you read it and you um is this going to be similar to what you told Rudy to send to a bell of danger yeah it's got the same energy different words.

And just for the record, look, I didn't use his. Well, I have zero control over what's happening right now. So you do. They would never screw you. Yeah. All right.

Kyle, let me think. Do it like coolly well well well if it isn't Miss Thang so far so good so far so good I'll be on your motherfucking turf

in March for a day or so if free let's create PS how much do you weigh that's perfect honestly no bullshit that's a that's a bold play but that legitimate how much do you weigh that was ps yes and she'll she'll get like the thematics of it once you get to the ps she'll know it's a joke

this might this is your best best no bullshit mook legitimately funny good yeah that's wait a minute you could like even saw here i got it how much dps how much do you weigh you're just ripping ass how much do you weigh i bet it's not much compliment yeah that's i bet it's... probably not much. Yeah, I just don't think you can say that in any context to a girl. I think if you were, like, planning on doing, like, a parachuting intro for the video...

Yeah, this is your out. Can you add that? No. Because if she's into it, that's just a backup plan. We'll see how it goes. You see Senate. That's why they call it a parachute.

Did you send that? No, absolutely not, dude. We so fucked up. I deleted it and closed your phone. After sending it now I'd never do that sing me a Bob Marley song as I read this three she had three two three little birds

that's pretty good keep going of all the things you don't know any Bob Marley's i know i've probably have heard them do give me like um stir it up i don't know you can go i bet you can do it off feel no of all things in life getting high wherever you want whenever you want is one of the best things especially without the paranoia of consuming some sketchy, sketchy, sketchy black market booth. What's the best way to do that? That's with 3Chi.

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and use 15% off your order you guys know we like it when companies let us use the word anus in the promo so support them gotta be 21 or older to purchase please use it responsibly why is it cool dudes always like sniffle when they're talking and rubbing their palms yeah see yeah yeah that is a thing the sniffles are the least cool thing

yeah something to think about what else is going on going on boys my partner was in town and yeah walked them out uh to their car to leave and their car was gone stolen just say just say her please so i can envision this correctly they were like what stop saying they that is insane yeah sucks coming out to see you then what called the cops

bought a flight where did the where was the car in a very nice it was parked next to a Porsche and they took the Hyundai and I called the tow company I was like hey did you tow a Hyundai and they took the Hyundai. And I called the tow company. I was like, hey, did you tow a Hyundai? And he was like, Hyundai? Nah, you got got by the Hyundai boys.

And I was like, what? He's like, they're kind of like the Kia boys. And I guess there's a rap song about the Kia boys. You can steal Hyundais and Kias with a phone charger. These are theft tropes in Chicago. Listen, the Kia boys.

Listen to the Kia boys song. They have a song. Yes. I'm going to root for them, correct? I think so. And so I was like, OK. And he's the Kia Hyundai. We can play this on the pod, right?

Yeah. Got got by these boys wait so these are the kia boys or the hyundai boys both yeah they can have my i'm not coming after that go to the it's like a TikTok challenge just to steal Hyundais and Kias yeah a lot of people put a lot of unneeded stress

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i heard it's good but you could you'd know if you saw shocked i guess i haven't what's it about corn is it is it iowa based i think so nice yeah um it's the the only ticketing app this is crazy to me every time i read it uh still trips me up game time is the only ticketing app that gives you complete peace of mind with your purchase that is crazy last minute tickets flash deals zone deals you can see the view from your seat before you buy how many tickets how many taps do you need exactly what to expect how many taps do you buy do you need to get a ticket? Is it three, four, five? Buy the ticket in seconds with two taps. Two taps. Damn.

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And here's the deal. That's a Jackson. It's a deal. You're going to buy tickets. Why not use game time? All right, yeah. It's the most convenient, efficient, and it's helping us out. And I know you're not quick to anger.

You're getting angry at the people that aren't using it. Some people aren't. Some people are still going to go through third whatever process. What do you have to say to people that aren't doing it? Terms apply. Again, create an account and redeem code untold for 20 off that's what i got yeah remember folks terms apply easy a homeless guy recognized frank the tank that's the pinnacle of fame yeah it is yeah i don't know

if that's insane i don't know if a homeless man would recognize Leonardo DiCaprio. Homeless is, if a homeless recognizes you, that is, that's the biggest you can be. Yeah. Yeah. That means you Those guys aren't tapped in. Yeah, you were either. Because they're not looking at their phones. How are they doing?

Yeah. Those guys aren't addicted to their phones. Yeah. They're not at all. And they are so much happier than they should be. They are so much happier than they should be. Walk around Washington Square Park. Some of them are frolicking. Yes. They should be on the ground, wailing, begging for misery, for mercy.

Yeah, they're begging for misery because they're high. begging for misery because we just lost sound you lost sound oh right there you yeah uh kb i couldn't agree more dude i will notice i will concede this with homeless people for whatever reason they all have incredible hair yeah i don't know if i've seen a ball that's a good point they all have incredible hair and i don't know if that's like vitamin D. Google homeless guy. We will stop the episode when we find Google image homeless. We'll stop the episode when we find a bald.

Yeah. And then Google just homeless benefits. Perks of being homeless. Like health benefits. Homeless health benefits. Dude, they all have locks. The thickest head of hair. They all have incredible hair.

Good obzo. Great obzo. There we go. Is that guy homeless? That's... No. No, I'm saying... Some doors. There's walls there. It doesn't count.

He lives in an encampment? No, no. There is... Okay, so... No, you don't picture a homeless guy... as bald. There we go. Oh, there's walls there. You told me a homeless guy can

maintain his beard. He's leaning against a wall. Yeah, but he can't maintain his beard like that? No shot. It's on the beard subreddit. That's got to be an interesting one. Go to the most controversial

post of all time on r slash beards, please. Trying to think what it could be. Like a mustache? Fuck you. Beard it. fuck you bearded side beard people are all right uh sort by where's controversial no did they get rid of it that was a thing controversial yeah no i didn't know that most controversial that's the top that's oh that's sad oh i didn't know controversial used to be a tab

yeah I guess they got rid of it maybe r slash beard did damn is that a gay are those two gay beards my bearded dude and I got married today yuck what the fuck? Yeah.

Not for me. Listen, I don't get it. Never will. Weird it out. But I support it. I want to hear what KB was going to say. Mostly. You didn't finish your thought on why homeless people are better off. Rent.app. Rent.app. Rent.app. You say it three times to remember it. your thought on why homeless people are better off rent dot app rent dot app rent dot app

you say it three times to remember it but it's not that hard to remember yeah so here's the deal we're all paying rent yeah we're all buying clothes we're all probably going to events but we're all paying rent for sure yeah rent app is teaming up with barstool hq to give all right one of our producers free month of rent that's cool why are you not amped up about how does it affect you that's awesome for us how does it affect you because paying rent is something we all have to do and to be honest it can sometimes be a bit of a house yes but don't you want mook to get free rent i would love that is that actually a possibility yes yeah two episodes ago you said you weren't gonna

help me get i said if it was up to like some type of competition i probably wouldn't be the best candidate to get you that prize also i don't know now i want now now i'm all about you getting how do you get it uh i don't know i think it's in the fine the fine print right there kelly keegs is leading a competition office Office-wide campaign. That's right. On Barstool Radio. Oh, that's going to be tough. Oh, I'm going to lose that.

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rent app in the app store today it's an easy add-on rent app they're not I didn't say that not in the app store today, it's an easy add-on. Run app. They're not. I didn't say that. Not in the slightest. Oh my God, are you serious?

They're happy. I said they're so much happier than they should be. Okay. Because they're not on tech all day. You think that's why? I think so. It's not because of the drugs? I think that's part of it yeah

they lead a simple life so you think if a homeless person had a smartphone they'd be miserable no maybe it's because they don't they don't stress they're on survival mode where did this homeless man ever even see Frank the Tank that's a good question

I don't know was the video out? I don't think it's out yet oh okay wait how'd you hear about it then? Chef Donnie Chef Donnie yeah it'd be funny if it was just a rumor

yeah we started a rumor it's fucked up Danny Conrad's trying to start a rumor that Big T's been unicycling here in the pitch black. He waits for the gym to be closed, but he doesn't want the cameras to see him, so he turns out the lights and unicycles, and he whistles the circus song. What's the circus song? I don't know. I have no idea.

What's the song that circuses play? Yeah, yeah. That's it? Yeah. And that's what Big T does that in the pitch black. Oh, now it's started. Yeah, the rumors started that. That's believable.

And I think you could just tweet a picture of like a dark room and just be like, proof. There he goes. And just like have the whistle overlay this shit's funny that's a funny sound where's the drop then you get sinister gates on this this is iconic that sound yeah that's yeah he wait can we throw that over any i just spit so much can we throw that over any video and it's funny i think so yeah uh do it to like um

um video me dunking it's always love my rudy What's like a... Do it to the ASPCA in the arms of the angels song in the video. Yeah. Do the commercial. See if it's funny. Now pause it. Okay, now play the circus song. Yeah. Yeah.

Holy shit. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Bitch. Oh, it worked. It worked. Oh, this is horrible, man. Yeah, man.

I think it's... If there's ever a video that makes you sad, you can defeat it by... Holy shit. It works. Can you do the mom... The parents tucking their kids into the bed of the sinking Titanic in the Titanic?

Yeah. I could do this all day oh my god the old couple yeah yeah this yeah yeah now pause it oh this is gonna be so no no start from the beginning yeah all right now start restart that can you restart it no can you restart the carnival song? Yeah. Restart, restart, restart, restart.

Yeah, right there. Yeah. Come on! Come on! Come on! If there's anything... I think we might have just cured depression. If there's something that makes you really sad, play it to this.

It's perfect. Oh my god. Oh my god. What else? Oh Jesus. Jesus Christ. oh my god oh oh oh jesus jesus christ there's another one that comes to mind yeah i don't want to do

that one let's keep them fictional i guess oh shit that was great oh yeah what else I'm trying to think of ones like a military homecoming yeah like a

like a Ronald McDonald happy meal like a do uh what's the Macaulay Culkin movie where he got stung by bees and dies and they bury him Happy meal. What's the Macaulay Culkin movie where he got stung by bees and dies and they bury him and forget to put his glasses on? No, no. Send it to Simon Burch.

Simon Burch slaughtering his friend's mom. Slaughtering his friend's sexy mom. Yeah, right there. Baseball kills woman, parenthesis Simon Burch. Perfect. Perfect. And. mom yeah right there baseball kills woman parentheses simon birch perfect and this might be good this might be good birch you're up wait wait we need to time it up just right where's the part at it's when he's up to bat his little tiny frames up to bat yeah okay

pause it pause it go back about like 30 seconds there you see the sexy mom maybe go back go forward a tiny bit there and now restart the carnival song and play on carnival

now play video And for the podcast listeners, the ball is flying. The exit velo is incredible. Despite the angle of the bat swing. Which would have maybe got past home plate. I don't even know if it would have divoted the dirt. Oh, is that my mom? Please don't tell me that's going to go right for my mom's head. My hot mom.

for my mom's head. My hot mom. Oh, it's so good. It's a good ass song. It's a great song. I think throughout the week we should tweet out just some videos with Carnival.

Yeah, let's cut that. But yeah, I think... Yeah, we're good. I'll cut it. That was a fun one, boys. Yeah. God bless.