A New Untold Story - Cords Across The World feat. Miresh & Big Cat - A New Untold Story: BONUS EPISODE

Episode Date: March 19, 2024

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Hey, A New Untold Story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad-free on Amazon Music. All right, we're good to go with a clap. That's your reply to what I'm going to say. No, you're just going to say, like, no, that's A New Untold Story. Hey, is that story old or told? What? No, baby! That's A New Untold Story.

A New Untld story. It's a fresh, big untold story. A new untold story. New untold story bonus here with Maresh, Big rudy kyle what's up boys i can already tell this is not like you guys are putting me in a seat that makes no sense what do you mean the microphone sucks uh yeah all these are kind of falling apart what do you think i hate this because i'm i am now and i hate this because it was my own idea, so it's really my own stupidity. I'm stuck now in a spot where you guys have kind of all the leverage because I'm sitting in this.

It's very uncomfortable. Oh, yeah. It's very uncomfortable. People are afraid to come in here. What's your problem, Reed? Yeah, he looks real down. Actually, I've been wondering about that for months. Yeah, what is his deal?

Reed looks really sad. I don been wondering about that for months. Yeah, what is his deal? Reid looks really sad. I don't know about Reid right now. Oh, wait, I heard something about you and Reid. Yeah. You went up to Tyler when you guys were playing basketball, and you're like, this kid can't shoot. Yeah, well, no, I didn't actually say it. I almost said it, and then I was like, I think they're brothers.

But yeah, Reid cannot shoot. You said you haven't hit a shot since 2023. He's a really good athlete. And he's a good basketball player as long as shooting wasn't part of the game. Can you be a good basketball player without shooting? Defensive warrior. You could be a wealthy basketball player without shooting. Ben Simmons.

Yeah. Wow. He made a lot of money. True. A lot. Yeah. But Reed is a very good basketball player. He just can't shoot.

It actually makes sense. Like if you, cause, cause really no one can shoot here. So he's the same foot. Are you throwing up shots? He does. Well, I, people, yeah, the book is out on him. So people let him shoot. It's been a little bit since you've been on anus.

One of us has chlamydia. Rudy. Yeah. That was Rudy. Yeah. That was easy. Yeah. Kindergarten level. That was so easy. That's not true.

I once had it. It's gone. A long, long time ago? Yes. Long time ago. For like the, for what? For the fly? It's for business.

It's for business. We weren't expecting you on yeah well maresh kind of uh he popped in my office and he was he wants a job he went rogue he's gone i was looking i was looking for rudy yeah he's been rogue he was hitting me on the side i didn't know i didn't even know yeah he's like you didn, you didn't DM me back. And now here's, let's just go through the whole thing. Maresh DM me and was like, hey, I have a pitch for you. I was like, great, send it to me. When did you send it to me? Like a month ago.

Okay, so it got lost in the shuffle. Super Bowl and March Madness now. Yeah, it got lost in the shuffle. I do like Maresh. You know, I obviously know him and I Madness now. Yeah, I got lost in the shuffle. I do like Maresh. I obviously know him, and I know you guys. I love you guys, Kyle and Nick. I will do anything for you guys. So Maresh coming that highly recommended obviously puts him at the front of the line.

I haven't even really put a word in, to be quite honest. Right, I know, which I respect. I just finally looked at the pitch a minute ago. Maresh, there was nothing in the pitch. He was just like, I want to hang out. I did not say I wanted to hang out. Did you just ask to hang out? No portfolio?

I thought you were going to have a list. There was a lot on my name. Listen, that doesn't mean you're not going to get the job. I've also elevated my pitch since. We added something just now. It was like, cook, talk soccer, hang out with Nick. Never did I say hang out with Nick. What was the actual saying of it?

Character and anus. Oh, okay. Character and anus. For some reason, and now this might be, we might have to cut this. I thought you were going to be like, I can do computer programming. Keep it. Keep it. Keep that. Keep it. IT. Yeah, I thought he was going to be like i can do like computer programming keep it keep it keep it it yeah i thought he was gonna be like look at this like even i thought that was his yeah his route i can streamline the barstool chicago office what would you do like a half and half because

you're were you sales at one point i've done sales yeah okay i don't know what you do now i I manage data privacy with advertising. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, I just think that's really rude of me. I was telling Maresh that Barstool, I think personally, is like a duo based company. Yeah. PFT, KFC Fights, Roan Caleb, Roan Sass, me, Kyle, him pairing him up with like Donnie,

Chef Donnie. Yeah. To do cooking, pairing him up with Zaha. We're just doing a big soccer puck. Zaha chief smokes. Soccer is tough because soccer doesn't really sell. I know. But then Maresh is well-traveled.

Yes. Internationally. Okay. He would take Ben Mintz to India. Okay. That is definitely a good idea. I think that we would have an absolute amazing time out there. Yeah.

I mean, look, I like Maresh a lot and I would love in a perfect world. If I was the one who is paying everyone's salary, I'd be like, fuck it. Yeah, let's hire Maresh. It's a question to Dave and like where we're at. Right. But again, it comes down to like, I think so highly of KB and Nick that if they think highly of someone, I'm like, yeah, I think he would do good here. Yeah.

Yeah. I also, I also will do anything to keep you guys happy. So if an emotional support Indian is what I have to do, I will do it. All right. Yeah. I need one medically. Wait, can he have a vest? Yes.

And nobody else can touch him. Nobody else can touch him. No one can pet Moresh. No. No. Oh, but he's cute. No. No.

He's a working idiot. And he has to sit on our laps on the airplane. Yeah. He has to let you know when you can cross the street. I'll wear a vest. You need me in a vest? You can smell carbon monoxide and stuff. You can sense that.

It'll be good. I'll press your elevator buttons for you. Do you have like things? So here's how it works. We now have to incept Dave into being like, who's this Maresh guy? Do you have things I could show him? Sure. Okay.

I've got him on my streams. I've got my penis episodes. I need that stuff. Like, that's the thing is we need to figure out how you could be sold immediately upon entering so that it makes it easier like i know you do do streams that's big you play video games yep like we should work something out with hank where it's like maresh is going to be heading up not heading up but like yeah we know we can rely on him for this and i know rudy you you and rudy do stream so those are good things um i think just having somebody hunkered down like

those guys doing shifts and just have that 2k room streaming yeah or seven well i know we've we we have a big sponsorship with 2k and we want to deliver uh so having people who are like passionate and know how to stream and want to stream different games is very important. Do you play sports games? Yeah, I play all the sports games. A bunch of other games, too. Okay. Kyle.

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little or as much as you need by choosing your meals every week. Plus you can pause or reschedule. Hit it with the big old pause. Yeah, no, it's great food. I don't even want to joke about it. No, of course not of course not it's so good it's got you feeling calm yeah wow man all right we'll head to factor meals.com

slash kb50 and use code kb50 for 50 off that's code kb50 at factor meals.com slash kb50 to get 50 off yeah i mean like last year rudy and i did uh the masters with pft oh yeah that's right yeah and it's not it's nice that you're like integrated with everybody here yeah everyone knows you i'm that the fit part is not yeah it's just the issue it's just day-to-day it's just whether we're hiring and how we're hiring and all that stuff um kb what you haven't talked a lot what do you think the people listening maybe put together a um put together a maresh like a fan cam video yeah and hype package maresh highlights for no reason yeah those ones dreams and nightmares People listening, maybe put together a Maresh-like fan cam video. Yeah.

A hype package. Maresh highlights for no reason. Yeah. Those ones. Dreams and nightmares behind it, too. Please, yes. By the way, Austin Eckler, did you see someone did Austin Eckler highlights for no reason? And when you're watching Austin Eckler highlights, on the bottom, it's the scroll of all the games that are going on.

And, like, in that week in the nfl yeah and it's been so long since he's been like good and young that it was like he scored a touchdown and then it was like kirk cousins 19 for 24 for the washington redskins oh i forgot name and change and and uh quarterback change is uh and that was his highlight. Yeah, that's... Well, no, we need... I don't know why I said that. I'm sleep deprived. I'll just say that right now.

Why did I say that? Why was I saying that? Where were you getting that? Maresh highlights. Maresh highlights. What if... Fuck, that made no sense. What if Dave is like,

I need to see more. What would you suggest to Maresh? Could we send him like a Jenks thing and send him to India with Mints for a video? I'll be Mints' Jenks for like a month. We don't need a Jenks for Mints. Yeah. We need him to fuck up. Mints doesn't make money for the company.

He does. Yeah. I mean, we'll figure something out. We got to figure it out. We got to figure it out. I don't want you to feel pressured. Oh, I already feel pressured. Oh, do you?

Yeah, yeah. Yes, of course. Like I said, because I need to keep you guys happy. No, I think we would all understand. Shut up, Reed. Are you out on Reed? No, I love Reed. I love Reed. I love read.

Just the idea of him just doing his job and just being like, dude, what's your problem? Again, I am sleep deprived. You want to keep Nick and KB happy. What about me if I want Marash in here and my happiness depends on it? Well, no, we're going to fire you if we hire Marash. I thought that was clear. Yeah, let's get the wheels moving. We talked about that. We got to make room in the salary cap. Okay. All right. let's get the wheels moving on that. We talked about that.

We got to make room in the salary cap. Okay, all right, that's fine. Go back to accounting. It's so funny if Mook was just in this entire negotiation, and then we're like, all right, we're going to get this transaction, and then it comes across the bottom line. Barstool Sports releases Mook. Picks up the rights to Moresh.

Mook, I'm Moresh going up to Mook. He's like, I make the same amount as you, exact, to the rights. Exactly. Yeah. Mook. I'm a motherfucker. Maresh going up to me. He's like, I make the same amount as you exact to the penny. Yeah. And then I also, I mean, obviously the yak,

like you, you, you fit in with those, with everyone there. Uh, yeah. I mean, there's,

I don't think we need to add another person cause there's many times on the yak when it's like a lot of nine people speaking at the same time. Yeah. Um, just like a substitute for when somebody's out. that kind of stuff yeah i mean there's there's some stuff i definitely do think so you think just put together a list but uh digestible like video stuff that dave can see yes yes something i can show dave and be like look this guy's very funny and i think the stream thing is definitely the angle we should be looking towards yeah because

that that is monetizable what if we do it like a presidential campaign video and so we could have some people around the office like endorse him as well i like that yeah i like that okay um yeah i mean diversity is nice you do first do you want to be gay too you want to i can't but then i couldn't do chase competition yeah he already signed up for you signed up for the pussy yeah wait to maresh walked out we were about to start recording he walked out hopped in your office and signed himself up for the pussy well i told him he's like i'm down to do anything i'm like will you compete against chain pussy eating and he's like yeah so he's down for anything yeah i guess i mean if you ask someone

that and they say yes, can you edit? We would throw a fourth chair on anus as well. Photoshop. Yeah. Do all that. Okay. Alright, well, so to be continued. Yes. To be continued. I love it. Good start. Except for Reed's bad attitude. Yeah, look at him. He's pouty. I also apologize to the anus fans, because like I said,

I don't know if... I've slept like maybe six hours in the last two days. So I'm in a weird spot. Thanks for pluralizing fans. What? Thanks for pluralizing. You guys have a lot of fans.

Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes I'll do like two weeks straight of being that. Yeah. My words aren't really working today. No, they're fine. Well, it's just you get into this basketball zone where it's like I just wake up. I'm like, all right, time to watch more basketball.

And my body just. But I feel you're on uh a constant autopilot so even if you are sleep deprived the words will come out without you even thinking eventually yeah what was i doing yesterday was a was it oh when we were doing the um wwe stream and i was trying to come up with the word of customization oh yeah it's customizable you've done enough interviews though do you think you could just sit down and just autopilot yeah that's what i'm saying yeah yeah because sometimes i get facts wrong and then you just be like haha gotcha gotcha testing yeah yeah you can always spin it i think i said to rich eisen i was like yo so you have a hall of fame vote he's like no i don't i was like good good catch yeah way to stay on your toes.

Alright, we'll continue. This was good. So are you officially moving? Yeah, I'm going to move in July. Oh, it's official. Oh, amazing. That puts a lot of pressure on me. Alright, I've been strong-armed. That's fine. No, I've been strong-armed. No, I've been strong-armed.

He's got to figure out his life. Perfect. And I'm the one who then holds the keys to figure out the rest of his life. No, I don't think it's you. Well, yeah, it's Dave. It's Dave. But it's me getting to Dave. You're also bringing your sweet, sweet girlfriend along, aren't you?

So you're really. Yeah. Yeah. Uprooting. But you lived here, right? Yeah, I used to live here. Okay. So you'll be fine.

Yeah, I know. I know Chicago. Fine. Cool. Okay. Well, thank you. This was good. All right. Good job. rooting but you lived here right yeah i used to live here okay so you'll be fine yeah i know i know chicago fine um cool okay well thank you this is good all right good job i was probably the worst anus appearance ever no no no don't stress that no pack up yourself yeah i got four months so you got four months what until maresh moves here oh okay yeah yeah shouldn't you be in perth uh we had to move it for madison we're going to actually reschedule that on today's episode okay great maybe have them fly back the other way i want around you want to get you want to We had to move it for Madison. We're going to actually reschedule that on today's episode. Okay, great. Maybe have them fly back the other way. You want Amelia Earhart?

Yeah, I want them to do the whole world. All right, so I lost my job, and now I'm going to fly for 75. Well, I think you have to. You moved the Perth, so I think you need to go L.A. to Perth. Okay. And then back, you have to go, like, Germany. No, go to, like, Qatar. Go through Qatar. Ravik. Yeah. Why don't you do the whole world? Okay, and then back you have to go left Germany Yeah, I want to do the whole world I want a lot of layovers

I want him to have real starchy jeans the whole trip yep, and I want him to have to bring like eight laptops So he has to like Luggage filled to the brim with tech. Tech flying out. Yeah. Yeah. So when you have to go to your gates. I have a box in my house, in my office, in my house, that's just like all the cords I've collected.

Yeah. Let's have them bring- Over the years. Yeah. A lot of cords. Let's have- Because I'm always nervous to throw out a cord. It's like, when are you going to need it?

I'll bring that in. You just bring all the cords. Let's act like this is a big thing for charity. Mook's doing cords across the world. Yes. Where he's just bringing a bunch of cords all the chords. Let's act like this is a big thing for charity. Mook's doing chords across the world. Yes. Where he's just bringing a bunch of chords around the world. Wires and chords. And he's constantly untangling them on the plane. I want you to have a bag full of

just frantically untangling. I want my chords to like, we should maybe start an Instagram for my chords. Yeah. And you can be like, here's my chords in front of like the Burj Khalifa and shit. I want people to think like this is like a philanthropy thing and be like, babe, look, this guy's doing cords across the world. Yeah. What's that? Oh, he's bringing all these cords just

around. He's making sure big cats cords see the world. Yeah. Before they go. Customs is going to think I'm making a bomb. Yeah. It's going to be clear. Especially now that you just said it. Yeah. I'll be detained in Germany. Yeah. And he has to wear a shirt that says, don't ask about the cords. Yeah. Also, also maybe let's the cords. Yeah. Also,

maybe let's not bring your passport. Oh, leave it. Leave it in Perth. Yeah, leave it on the plane. Yeah. Okay, so you really don't want me back here. You'll find your way back. You would. You would. You're going to be the Brittany Griner of Barstool. Oh, that would be so funny. It would be awesome.

That would be pretty sick. If we had a free MOOC movement. Oh, yeah. No one would join in on that. You should try to interview Putin too. Okay. I'll show him my cords. So we're going to rebuild his flight right now and I think we should also buy the outfit right now that you have to travel in.

For the delight. We'll get him one of those see-through bags you have to go when you go to an NFL stadium and that's what holds all the cords. That's his cord bag. Maybe you can be giving old wires You have to go when you go to an NFL stadium and that's what holds all the chords. That's a chord bag. Yeah, yeah. It's a chord bag. Yeah, maybe you can be like giving like old wires and chords to inner city kids in Australia. Yeah.

Aborigines. We don't know what this is. This one's for... A Nintendo DS. Yeah. I want you walking around the Outback with a bunch of chords and wires. This one's for a Theragun. And then like when people ask me, again, I'm doing chords across the world. Yeah. Chords across the world yeah cords across the world

wear a shirt wow yeah let's make it look like a charity and like it's your philanthropist and you're not giving them away

you're just bringing them around no actually I actually think now this is actually how I get rid of them you should give them away don't come back

with any cords okay so cords across the world I'm flying across the world with nothing but cords and giving them away so I don't yeah so this is a way no no deodorant I think no nothing else Cords across the world. I'm flying across the world with nothing but cords. And giving them away. So I don't... Yeah, so this is a way...

No deodorant, nothing else in my luggage, just cords. But I think you're underestimating in your vision of this the amount of cords. Yeah. I want it to look like a hay bag. Am I checking cords? Yeah. You're going to have to check cords. I'm going to basically clean out my life, and you're just going to...

Everybody has a ton of cords. I'm taking your like clean out my life and you're just gonna like I said everybody has a ton of oil I'm taking a pile across. Yeah. I want you to just distribute like all my garbage across Yes, okay, I'll air tag each court. Yeah, we could air tag the courts. Okay. I'm in okay That's a lot of tags. Can I bring you up? I'm gonna bring barash. Maybe his first piece of content No, he's got to work. No, this is Chords Across the World. It's a solo journey. You've got to go soon. He's got to sit in your seat on the act.

Just looking over at my boy. No, I'm going to be doing your job while you're just traveling. Yeah, while you're kicking back, giving away chords. I'm making the world a better place. Yeah, I'll be doing your job. All right, Chords Across the World. Chords Across the World is going to be a headline. Yeah, you can't come back until you get into a local news.

Are we allowed to say the address of this office? No. Okay. We have not in English. Yeah, not in English. Oh, ding a ding. Send your send your cords. Yeah.

Send your cords. All the cords. Yeah, I want I want there to be a local newspaper that like this. This man, this this man from United states is is on a mission to give chords to the whole world i want him to be like packed up like a sharpa with chords yeah like a really really like camping bag tall maybe even throw in some sheet music yeah some chords oh yeah some corduroy pants yeah we'll get this we'll get this we'll get this deep wait a minute i just want you to have a chord stand like like a lemonade stand in Perth.

I want you to set up a table. You got to make enough money to buy your ticket back. You got to sell the cords to get your ticket back. Just fire me, man. Just fucking fire me. We'll wait until you get back. I am so excited for cords across the world. Yeah, it's beautiful.

It's super inspiring. Yeah, it is. The world needs more cords. We're actually, this is actually, we're in a Bluetooth era where we're getting rid of cords. Cords are becoming endangered species. You are now saying, hey, cords aren't so bad. Yeah. And maybe, do you have cord extenders in case people already have cords but want to lengthen their own?

Yeah, we're going to need some of those for sure. Yes. Dongles. Yep. I've got a box. I'll send it. Yes. Send it.

You guys want to send it? Yeah, anyone who has cords. I want you to walk around Perth with your bag and them dangling out and you're just like, dongles, cords, and wires. Yeah. Dongles, cords, and wires. All right. I'm going to go live stream.

Yes. All right. See you. Thanks for coming on. I appreciate you. This will be to be continued. We got a plan. Good sign.

Four months. Four months to build. Face read. Fucking read. Alright, today's episode is also brought to you by Balanced Vibe. Can you say that like a Jamaican? Balanced Vibe. Yeah, it's pretty brought to you by Balanced Vibe. Can you say that like a Jamaican? Balanced Vibe.

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Well, I would let him fuck up. Right. But I think, yeah, you have four months. That's obviously he wants you there and here. It's just we need like let's put together a package. But I think that's a good sign. Yeah. You put together a package.

You feel good. I feel great. Good. OK. Feel great. He was talking about the Austin Eckler highlight tape. Do you guys remember Isaiah Crowell's Georgia highlightorgia highlight tape oh so sick look it up who's the west virginia is it tayvon's good yeah that's like the you guys remember isaiah crowell

oh you played for the jets oh you played for the jets and the ravens no go he was the um call yeah that one. Funny? Yeah. The crow is coming. Is that... You bitch has been warned. Is that a shadow pup? Time or...

All right, nice game. This fan-made video of Isaiah Crowell. It is so grainy. Slow-mo. There's nobody in front. Crow, no. You a bitch. I'm sure he's had much better runs than this.

Certainly. In like a 12-yard game. But it's so hard. Fuck you, pay me. Fuck you, pay me fuck you pay me where's crow he's my favorite player of all time because of this I didn't know he went to Georgia I also didn't know you

throw them pizza lunchables on the table I know the funniest black kid in the world made this in school during class this had to have been like a class to like teach you editing yeah this is like George's film school yeah

shorts so so not crow it's so sick best college people say Tavons no this is the new one this is the new one I want to like pregame to this if you see this

on her YouTube history it's a wrap babe why are we watching Isaiah Crowell fan made highlights Nikki was here

wasn't she that actually made sense house crows house crows I keep going I live for the text pop-ups yeah That actually made sense. How's Crow shit? How's Crow shit? I keep going. I live for the text pop-up. Yeah, it's the best.

Throw them pizza lunchables on the field. Oh my God. Let Crow show you how them big dicks swang. Why is dicks plural? Yeah. Who else's? He's gonna show you how other... He doesn't have a big dick himself. He shows you how the big dicks swang.

Can Crow fly? Let's see. Is he gonna jump somebody? Just a standard time. Motherfucking yeah! I love this shit yeah Crow loves playing between the hedges what does that mean both on and off the field he is nasty

no he's great so fucking crow that's a good act I forgot all about this until he was talking about Austin Eckler this is my favorite dated highlight. Do we even need to throw it this year? Do we even need to throw it this year? I mean, he was sick.

Yeah. Crow for Heisman. I spelled Heisman very incorrectly. Fake Isaiah Crow one. Oh, is that his Twitter his twitter hand i have no idea is that still active how many views oh no wait that's gotta have a million 324k yeah this is one of the most important youtube videos of all time yep can't help but here come from my you can't help but to come here for my yearly crow hype. Yeah, this is a good once a year video. Yeah.

It's like Christmas movies. Throw them Lunchables pizzas on the field. Yeah, I wish I knew what that meant. Let's get that higher than Tavon's. This one's at 324. Tavon's is at 23 million. 23 million. That's what it says right there.

Yeah, let's blow Tavon's out of the water. You guys have that many listeners. Crowell, 60-yard touchdown in his Jets debut. I love that. Yeah, let's reschedule you to Perth, Mook. Yeah, I'm down.

April's pretty open for me. I think we should build it right now. Kyle, did you get... Wait, what's my travel? I'm switching from Holiday Inn to Billabong Backpackers Hostel. Oh, it's staying at Billabong. You're going to find other philanthropists in there. That's going to be full of people

like-minded. Let's make the chords across the world. I'm so excited for chords across the world. I want to get rubber bracelets for us. Do you think we could organize a live aid or something like that? I just want people to really, really get behind.

Look at this cool thing this guy's doing. Would you like your own bracelet from us? I would love that. What is the chlamydia? Does chlamydia have a ribbon? What is their color? Can we see if they have a ribbon?

Can we add a Enos logo temporarily? The same thing as getting strep throat. Sorry, it's my buddy Rudy. He's pretty sick. We should have the band should say Rudy clean. Honestly, I wonder if you can, like, Mook, if you could get chlamydia from being so supportive of your boy with chlamydia. Just like go up to a chick and say,

yeah, my buddy's really sick. Yep, that's your logo, Rudy. That's your ribbon. Is that a fidget spinner? That's the fucking toxic waste logo. Oh, yeah, yeah. Or radioactive. Oh, yeah, it's radioactive.

Wait, that looks like a fringe Soviet steak. Rudy, you need to buy that. It's tough as hell. It's so sick. Yeah, it's tight as hell. You said you were United, Mook? I can't find it.

It was very... We'll do it off-air, and we'll tweet out the new... This is not the time for logistics. Yeah. out the new yeah this is not the time for logistics yeah um but i mean i might actually like if we extend the flying and there's no breaks like i'm gonna get a blood clot right right we're gonna have to figure that out we can get you socks special socks or socks for

that that'll fight off the blood clots yes Yes. Compression socks. They're more like stockings. They go all the way up. They're pretty high. Who looking? We'll make sure that we'll get you a first aid kit. You'll be having to wear shorts with the stockings. Mixed in with all my cords? I don't know if he's going to have room for any other kit. I'm flying with cords and a first aid kit.

And I do like the idea of you being in a full corduroy. Do you think we could get some first gen iPads to give away with the cords, too? So that way he has to take those out of his bag. I want him fumbling around with old iPads. I think that'll help you give away the cords. I don't want him to have old iPads. I want him to have the old Amazon Kindle.

Oh, yeah. Oh, I have one. I have an old Amazon Kindle I can give him. Just the heaviest, oldest devices you can find. Send your old Kindles. I can give them. Just the heaviest, oldest devices you can find. Send your old Kindles. I might give you a monitor. I want you to fly to Perth to return to get in-store credit at a GameStop for a Nintendo Wii. Oh, that's a great idea.

That's all you have to do. Just bring a Nintendo Wii and get in-store credit that you have to go back another time to use. No, I want you to rent a video in Perth and fly back to return it. Jesus Christ. Okay. No, no, no, no. Hey, I'm your little boy, so you tell me what to do. Jesus Christ.

Well, you put it that way. All right. This is good, dude. This is exciting. You look sad about it. We're not going to torture you that much. We're just going to do chords across the United States. No, I'm excited for philanthropy.

Yeah, and I want all the people listening to just be like, really confuse people. Act like it's super touching that he's doing this. He's the coolest guy. I think we can convince people. He's circumnavigating the globe to give out uh like cords yeah it's amazing you should like speak and the thing is he doesn't discriminate he just grabs a cord and hands it like you give them like they don't even get to pick they you don't take no for an answer yeah yeah i'll plenty of cords to hang myself too

oh my god you used to be an accountant dude i know this is awesome this is uh this is fun do we want to do we want to do our videos uh i know kb sent me a video already sent me some videos i sent you my favorite movie death of all time let's see that i think i know what it is what is it is it the titanic no oh that is my favorite no this is my new new this is my new favorite one garbage day That's my new favorite The movies called garbage day, I have no idea garbage day The movie's called Garbage Day. I have no idea. Garbage Day!

Wait, I want to hear this. TechnoRemix used to be the thing. Garbage Day! Oh! Okay. I could get down with this. Garbage Day! Garbage Day!

Garbage Day! Garbage Day! Oh, it kind of sucks Kyle you can do better that's horrible that's pretty cool garbage day good death is that a real movie I think so no fake made it up

I made that up y'all fell for that silent night part 2 1987 okay I made that up. Y'all fell for that? Yeah. Silent Night Deadly Night. Part 2, 1987. Okay. Yeah, what do you have, Kyle? Did you just see this rent app ad? Yeah, that's crazy.

It says, say rent app over and over as many times within 60 seconds. That's it? Oh, yeah. Should we all just go? Ready? Should we go in order or all at once? I think in order. All right.

Don't try to sacrifice phonemes to try to get it out. You got to say the whole word. All right. Do we say rent.app? Just rent app. Okay. Nick, you start. Go KB, Rudy, me.

All right. Okay. Three, two, one. Rent app. Rent app. Rent app. Rent app. Rent app.

Rent app. Rent app. Rent app. Rent app. Oh, I missed it. Oh, come on. Rent app. Rent app. Rent app. Rent app. Rent app. Rent app. Rent app. Rent app. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Oh, I missed it. Move. Come on. Rentap. Rentap.

Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap.

Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap.

Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap.

Rentap. What? What? Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap.

Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap.

Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. Rentap. rent app rent app rent app rent app rent app rent app rent app rent app rent app rent app rent app

rent app rent app rent app rent app rent app rent app rent app rent app

Busta Rhymes couldn't do that no no Twista couldn't either Twista couldn't rent app rent app rent app

rent app rent app rent app rent app rent.app rent.app thank you rent app rent app

this is awesome TikTok what is it it's one of my favorites 2x Max from chat us up just interview with Sam Hartman alright who am I here with Sam Hartman let's say you're hungry and you pull

to a gas station trying to get a snack what are you gonna get that's a great question I'll probably get man probably just like some Skittles or something. You know, some sweet ice cream. My favorite interview ever. This dude gets press credentials. This is probably the highlight

of his year. Great question. To get Sam Harmon, and that's what he goes with. That's a great question. To get Sam Harmon, and that's what he goes with. That's a great question. Probably just like some Skittles or something. All right. Wait, Sam's just still staring at the camera. He probably thought he was going to get more questions.

That kid squandered his one opportunity to ask like about his hair that's all you got to do in uh on tiktok hell of an interview deep as hell oh they they didn't like it riveting interview oh good question good question probably Good question. Probably just some Skittles. And up up with Chris. He's handsome as all hell. Yeah, it's... He... Is he like top? No. Okay.

Oh, top handsome? Yeah. Oh. I thought you meant like a choice draft pick. No. Okay. No, he's not tall enough. What's his flaw?

He's not... He's too good looking. Too good looking. It's too good looking. He's off-putting. Okay. Nice, 6'1", shit. I think my favorite product since 2021,

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No. No. I have a video. What do you got? This is my favorite. I want us to recreate this video. China dinner? I like this already.

With KB as the head of the table. Oh, I love this video. You know this video? Oh, yeah. Just a Chinese family enjoying dinner. Oh, my God. Oh, is the dad real greedy? He's like watching Major Payne.

Yeah, I remember this. It runs through him. Survival of the fittest. Plate grab, plate grab. Took an hour to be whoa here we go he's taking another bun oh yeah he wants the plate is this normal dude this account is just like are you saying is this like traditional chinese dinner uh is is a speed eating a chinese thing this is like a battle royale this is how me and my dad eat

with chopsticks oh no, with... Never mind. Efficiency. What is that? Oh, that's a head. Is that a pig head? I think so. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah.

Oh, he's very skilled with the chopsticks. The mom is... Oh, the mom doesn't even... There's someone in here that doesn't even get any food. All right, but why are they filming dinner yeah right they have to know they're they're eating quick oh my god that's about it but it's a great account oh this is them eating dinner all the time is the dad always the the aggressor 44 mil click that one let's see the og hot pot night let's go they're not patient enough for that

lettuce and the Lettuce and the... First course. No words. He's gonna grab that bowl. Wait till he grabs that fucking bowl. Wait, top comment. Dude snaked all the shrimp.

Let's see. There he goes. So as soon as he grabs the plate, then it's go time. Yes. But he's in charge. Dumbass one for the lettuce. That woman has to never eat on the left. Like, that's...

She has a chicken's foot right there. Yeah, she's going for the... Oh, that guy's taking the shrimp. Oh, yeah. He's cleaning up the shrimp right now. Oh, that son of a bitch. Three shrimp. Oh, don't tell me. Oh, he knows where they are.

Oh, he knows. He sees them with laser precision. Yeah, dude. That's crazy. All the shrimp. He's smart. That son of a bitch. He's good.

Oh, they're fighting for it. He's getting all the protein. That pops doesn't even know. Oh, God. he got one the pops got one what a fucking smart fucking oh my god he got he got all this don't tell me don't tell me for those who don't know that's not easy me and nick got hot pot once and we were losing we were losing wagyu we were losing everything in there look at at that form of him. Oh, man. Top right is having a really hard time scooping out of there.

There was a little... Oh! Is that legal? Oh, he might be worse than the dad. He just used a whole pail. But he's serving everybody else first. Wait, Papa last. Yeah, the dad's getting bodied here.

Well, you know the dad's about to take that hot pot. Oh, this is more cordial than the other ones yeah wow you should be able to gamble on this what the fuck over under three shrimp uh one more fuck it yeah sure priyanka chopra telling her husband that the weather is too bad for an outdoor walk nick too rainy yep that's a that's a really fucking good one that's a really really good one actually um can kb did what remixix a WFB song Yeah Could you ask him Could I ask who

KB did what Oh I can ask KB did what Yeah He swamped but I wanna We were talking about this yesterday I wanna put out Reaction videos

But lazy reaction videos So it's just the photo Of our reaction below The video Slideshow One photo Or a slideshow. I don't know.

I think just the one reaction. Yeah. Sure. Can we do that? Yeah. Okay, can we do that? What do you want to react to? So, you took photos of us yesterday.

Yes. Of us doing all kinds of different reactions. So, like, just pull up any video. No, let's just put out lazy reaction. Yeah, let's just start lazy reacts. And we just have a photo of us. All right. Maybe to, like, a parrot singing out lazy reaction. Yeah, let's just start lazy reacts and we just have a photo of us All right, they may be to like a parrot singing Rihanna. Yeah Do you have a good?

Yeah And killing it Yes What would your reaction face be to that one so that'll be on the top What would your reaction face be to that one? So that'll be on the top. Do you have the photos of us? Are they on the computer?

Yeah, send them over and just drop one right below that so we can just look and see how... We can pick out what reaction we want. This is perfect. I think this is going to be our next big thing, man. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Pretty good. There's a fucking full pie in front of me that's a pretty good one for that oh maybe two that's or just that i think just that just that yeah okay and what about kyle no no don't use that because that was a cool video that's pretty good yeah that would fit yeah let's use that one

yeah like kind of that would make these would all fit wait that one's probably perfect all my emotes are reacting to parents that one out moog can you zoom in command plus on that just his face can you zoom in command plus on that just his face yeah yeah yeah I'm really enjoying that and then we'll have that right below it yep no no just one of us okay okay

I'll let you cook lazy lazy reacts is going to be so huge i don't i don't know why we're waiting we're watching we know what it's going to happen i still i want to see it Oh man, fantastic idea. Lazy Reacts is the next big thing, man. I think it should almost be its own account. Yeah, should we start Lazy Reacts? Oh god, you're fucked up, man. Why are you reacting to that? I never thought I was going to be its own account. Yeah, should we start lazy reacts? I want to hear Wait just hit skip see what Kyle's reacted to nice

what kyle's reacted to next and like the only rule is there's two rules it's only one image and it has to be the appropriate reaction yeah take it seriously we can't like be like goofy yeah fuck up the react make an ironic reaction no it has to be a real that's what i would have been doing if i was watching the video i wouldn't have changed that face oh my god good shit maresh how you feeling great are you yeah there's a lot of your major life change major perhaps one of the biggest on the horizon oh yeah um since the divorce yeah yeah i guess nothing is nothing ever going to be big again no that's it damn no yeah are you ready to part ways with new york i know like you love to romanticize it i just love to romanticize the fuck out of it did the dude that notarized your divorce dm your wife ex-wife on

the uber home yeah okay cool cool yeah and so yeah basically that was crazy huh yeah well and you good it wasn't the ride home but it was later that day and i texted him i was like dude did you dm her he goes yeah oh my god what did he say he said so that was crazy huh he said that actually i mean to one of her stories he was sliding I got yeah I mean she's single he knew it yeah you don't even yeah that was crazy that was fucking crazy

thank God you had me there else you'd still be with him thank God I was there huh if you need anything thank God I'm here emotional support yeah that's a pretty pretty good idea. Oh, man.

Anything else, boys? Any shows, Mook? I will be in Providence with Sass the first week of April. Can we test out your joke writing, Savvy? Can we give you a topic and next bonus you have to have a joke about it? Sure. Yeah. If you guys want um

i want you to make a joke about the show this is us it's mandy moore uh colossal woman um chrissy metz milo ventimiglia yeah milo you want like um like a weekend update style like no no no just be like Just be like, hey, I've been watching This Is Us with my girlfriend. I'm not going to do stand-up on the show. Yeah, yeah, but just how you would do it. Sterling K. Brown. I want to...

You do a Sterling K. Brown. Because I've seen you do stand-up a lot, and I've seen you get a standing ovation. Me too. And I want to see how you work within the parameters. I want to see how you do it. Yeah. I want to see how you do it. Yeah. And you can give me notes.

Yeah. You can critique. Sure, yeah. Okay. What we could do is even cut the clip where it's like, you know, those pay courses, masterworks or whatever. A masterclass, yeah. Masterclass.

We can do a MOOC class. A MOOC class, yeah. We'll cut the clip like that. I just want to hear a stand-up joke about This Is Us and how you would do it. I'm going to have to watch it. Oh, you fell victim to the Target electronics section. I did. Oh.

It is under lock and key. Holy fuck. We got dinner last night. I exited early because I wanted to go home. First off, it took me a half hour to get home. I got the pork belly, a lotte, and then cornbread, maybe corn but it was it worked perfectly smoke wings for me go on uh took me a half hour in traffic to get to target i uber to target and then it's walkable to my apartment i get to target i wait 10 minutes by the electronic section for anyone to walk by

in a target uniform no one i start taking a lap then it becomes about the principle you have to get it i'm not leaving yeah i i left my i'm not giving them the w no they're gonna serve me yep so i go i grab a halo top ice cream i'm like i'll bring this home i'll fuck this up later yeah i'm also looking for a target employee during this time someone was standing near like an exit to like where the employees go it was a huge black woman and i kind of just stared at her i'm like is she an employee and she wasn't and then she said something to me and i scurried away she just wore a big red shirt just huge red shirt yeah and uh i wait back at the electronics section we're 20 minutes in like she was wearing a big red shirt yes okay she was huge

and uh i get back to the electronic section 20 minutes in i finally see someone i'm like hey could you unlock this for me some dude with a mask on he's like yeah let me go to the front i'll call someone over i'm still there 10 minutes passed by i'm a half hour in your halo top has to be melted halo tops melting in my hands no one's come over i go i find that guy again because i take another lap and he's just stocking the shelves your Halo top has to be melted. Halo top's melting in my hands. No one's come over. I go, I find that guy again because I take another lap and he's just stocking the shelves.

And I'm like, hey, can you open the electronics for me? And he's like, oh yeah, I got you. And then 30,

like 30, 35 minutes later, finally, I got my shit and then I went home. I bought the wrong charger. Oh, how's that even possible?

I know where you can bring it. Yeah, throw it in the, what a pleasant surprise pleasant throw it in the bundle that's right yeah that's the first chord oh but uh food hack melt down your um halo top to like almost a liquid and then dip us try dipping a cinnamon bun in it it's so good well i'm eating the halo top health reasons. I don't need to add the cinnamon bun. Yeah, okay. You're eating it for health reasons. Yeah. You could just not have it.

I'm eating this for health reasons. Halo Top's good. It didn't make you gassy. That was my first time having it. It tastes just like ice cream. Did you delete the whole pint? Oh, yeah. Pint deleter.

330 calories. That's not too much. But fuck Target, for real. All right. Yeah. That's not too much. But fuck Target, for real. All right. Yeah. That's the whole story. All right. God bless.

Thanks for listening. I'm losing my voice.