A New Untold Story - Cornelius McGillicudy feat. Brandon Walker - A New Untold Story: Ep. 422

Episode Date: November 14, 2024

brandon walker joins us to talk old timey baseball and toliets. ads: Gametime - Download the Gametime app today and use code UNTOLD to easily score great deals with the new Gametime Picks! Factor ...- Head to https://FACTORMEALS.com/kb50 and use code kb50 to get 50% off your first box and 20% off your next month. Arena Club - Get 10% off your first Slab Pack or card purchase by going to https://ArenaClub.com/anus and use code anus. MobileX -Go check out https://mymobilex.com or download the MobileX app from the App Store or Google Play.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, a new untold story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcast, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad free on Amazon Music. Three, two, untold story episode 422 422 we got Brandon Walker in the building birthday whose birthday Earth Day oh today's Earth Day's Earth Day 422 is Earth Day 422 oh wow yeah cuz there's no real other significance to it it's not a area code it's not a country code. Nobody got bombed that day. That's 419. What's 419?
Starting point is 00:01:07 Oklahoma City. God damn. They ever catch that guy? McVeigh? Yeah, he's dead. Timmy McVeigh, yeah, they killed him. Yeah, killed him good. Yeah?
Starting point is 00:01:17 Mm-hmm. One shot, one kill? I don't know, I think they did it with gas or injection. Damn. Damn. What was his gripe? All right, he just didn't like the government. Anyway, I've stepped all over the front of the show. I'm sorry. No, no, no, it's fine.
Starting point is 00:01:32 You're a guest. It's what the guest should do. 422, area code? It's not, it's not. I wish it was. Do you know that it's not an area code? What do you, yes. Wait, should we get him up to speed with your identity?
Starting point is 00:01:44 I'm Dean Jones now It's hard Yeah, people are calling me Kyle Dean I also really like Kyle Jones I like both so much of it I don't like them now, so it's Dean Jones. Okay, so actually the Kyle got squeezed out. Yeah Kyle's out Okay, yeah, Kyle was never gonna do me perfectly Yeah, but Dean Jones does I like Dean Jones Dean Jones What about what about DJ hate DJ DJ? Oh hate that's so much worse. That's cool I do Dean Jones Dean Jones. Yeah, it sounds good
Starting point is 00:02:19 Good, it's so many letters for so few syllables as well Dean Jones and Dini, baby It's so many letters for so few syllables as well. Dean Jones. Deenie baby. That's the thing, don't talk about them too much because you're either kinda with Dean Jones or kind of against Dean Jones. You're not gonna have a strong opinion on Dean Jones. If you meet Dean Jones.
Starting point is 00:02:33 Can you be neutral on Dean Jones? You can talk to Dean Jones for three hours straight, you're gonna leave with the weakest opinion on Dean Jones. No one's gonna have a good. By design, are you trying that? That's gonna be my new identity. So if you're on a flight to Denver with Dean Jones, you enjoy the experience, but you don't think about it the next day.
Starting point is 00:02:48 Would Dean Jones go to Denver? Dean Jones would not go to Denver. He wouldn't go to Denver. Sorry. Go to Pueblo. What's the difference between Kyle Dean and Dean Jones? It's just my identity now. I feel like a lot of people change their name. Like Robbie Anderson is now chosen Well. Yeah, I feel like a lot of people change their name like Robbie Anderson is now chosen Anderson. Yeah, I guarantee you part of him changed his entire personality
Starting point is 00:03:14 Yeah, yeah, he changed it like twice like you Robbie Anderson, you're not you're not chosen Anderson Was he ever did he ever even have a thousand yards? I think maybe what didn't go from Robbie Anderson to Robbie chosen and now then he was chosen and he did a Kyle Kyle Dean Kyle Jones. Yeah, he looks exactly like Cynthia. It's Dean Jones Angelica's doll from Rugrats. Yeah Yeah, yeah, he looks just did he get caught fucking in a parking lot. I think he had a he had a He had a red bone bitch bent over his car Ben over in his car yeah, dude How you know she was red bone
Starting point is 00:03:56 You could see you're naked. Oh, he was a naked woman. Oh wow yeah, he was he was laying laying pipe Ben what are your thoughts on car sex? It's I was always too big and I had two small cars. I can never pull it off I did get in a suzu rodeo in 2001 and we had some times in that one But even then I didn't really enjoy it Kyle will lay it down in a Shriner car What is that? It's Shriners that got little guys the guys with the Fezes. Oh, yeah, I was fucking in the zip cars Yeah, I was getting inside of you made a girl climax at the top of the loop on the Hot Wheels track You can do it the head run
Starting point is 00:04:36 particle accelerator The just picture like such a tiny car and I was In the driver's seat you had an orgy in a tiny car. And I was in the driver's seat. You had an orgy in a clown car. I had, I fucked in the glove box of a matchbox car. Yeah. And I made her squirt. Yeah, I remember the matchbox glove box.
Starting point is 00:05:00 It was the center console you made her squirt. Yeah. Because it was filled to the brim with squirt. One time I did it in the cup holder of a matchbox car? Yeah Yeah, spread her legs. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Did you? You the first time you had anal sex with a woman it was in the back of a Radio Shack zip-zap. Well, yeah That's why yeah. Yeah, did you get lost in a Vita Vita beetle? you got turned around I wasn't meant for this era. I was meant for the 1890s. Why so I don't know It's like I would be more respected then. So you guys all know that I'm stuck on this kick.
Starting point is 00:05:46 Yeah, we all to an extent like Brandon, I love I would say 1890s to 1920s Major League Baseball. Yeah. Yeah. Nothing about the results. The dead ball. The why is it called that? Because the ball was dead. They were throwing spitballs. Most of the memory balls. What's an emery ball balls? What's a I don't even know. Emery is a nail file
Starting point is 00:06:06 They were in all kinds of high. Would they like file it down to get better grip? Oh, yeah, they would they would dig holes into the ball. They would cut the ball. They would do all kind of things It was all legal they could spit on it and it was uh They when that's fucking awesome when Babe Ruth came around and really started hitting home runs. They changed the ball. So he hit more Oh So it was a business decision. Yeah That's pretty cool. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:27 But like the lives of these people, it's like, it's not just baseball, it's like lemony Snicket shit. Yeah, it really is. Like fantasy shit, like the lives these people lived. But you have Hall of Famers back then. But that's not saying much, if you played baseball back then you were a Hall of Famer.
Starting point is 00:06:43 But they live on in infamy because of their baseball exploits and off the field they were the worst steel mill drivers that were oh Yeah, they were they were they were convicted felons. They were bad people bad We'll get to that. Do you have some I have a lot this is an old-timey baseball episode Yeah, I didn't research, but I am going off the top of the top of my dome three finger Brown We're talking about three fingers. I didn't even get see like I there's so many I haven't got the three finger brown Three finger brown. Yeah, that's how I got suspended in school for that one time. Why? three fingers around a brown In a brown is that a dude?
Starting point is 00:07:19 Our name was Keisha Keisha really? Yeah, you fingered Keisha. She was a good gal. God damn Let's talk baseball brand. Yeah, let's talk fing was Keisha. Keisha? Really? Yeah. You fingered Keisha? She was a good gal. God damn. Alright, let's talk baseball, Brandon. Sorry, sorry. Let's not talk fingering Keisha. So back in the 1890s, I want to say, Chicago had a team. And do you know their names? Clowns.
Starting point is 00:07:37 No, not clowns. A couple. They were the orphans? The orphans, yeah. Were they the crackers? Who were the crackers? That was Atlanta. Atlanta black crackers, yeah. Atlanta black crackers.. Were they the crackers? That was Atlanta.
Starting point is 00:07:45 Atlanta black crackers. Well, no, no, there was another. There was a white crackers. Oh, really? Yeah. The white. And the Chicago had the white stockings, too. Well, they were called the orphans because like their owner was named Pop and he left.
Starting point is 00:07:59 They were funny back then. Yeah. Yeah. Pop left. I got out that the orphans like one one year Brooklyn, the bunch of the players got married in the off season and they're like, well, where are the bridegrooms? They just rolled with it. So they just did, they just had fun with the names. You could just change the name. There was a guy named Cap Anson.
Starting point is 00:08:17 Cap, wait, he played for the Caps. They were named after him, right? They may have been. Yeah, they played for the Caps. He was a legend. He was a legend, late 1800s, first baseman. He played for Chicago. He was one of baseball's first great hitters.
Starting point is 00:08:33 So starting from his early life, he got kicked out of home for being bad. He got kicked out of the University of Iowa for being bad. Then it said, Anson played an instrumental role in establishing racial segregation in baseball. Yeah, he looks every bit of it. You don't want to play an instrumental role.
Starting point is 00:08:51 Absolutely not. It said Anson vociferously insisted on segregation even before the band was official. An instrumental role, so he was like playing tunes. It was every instrument but bass. So he vociferously insisted on segregation. He was vociferously a thought leader. Yeah. I don't think I've ever been vociferous about anything. Absolutely not. No, I think. Yeah, you have to be a real hater to really have a stance like that. He refused to take the field when opposing rosters included a black player, including Moses Fleetwood Walker.
Starting point is 00:09:27 For Louisville in 1884, right? Brandon! The very first black major league baseball player. How was that more known? Pre-segregation, yeah, he's from Steubenville, Ohio. No kidding. Steubenville? Yeah, he invented the Justin gun.
Starting point is 00:09:44 What? He helped invent the Justin gun. What's a Justin gun? It used compressed air instead of gunpowder. It was a massive failure, yeah. To kill? So if it was a massive failure, he didn't invent it. No, it's, can you invent failure? Doesn't sound like he finished it.
Starting point is 00:09:58 You can invent bad shit. Oh yeah. Yeah, but if it doesn't work, can you invent shit nonetheless? It's still an invention, but you're not a good inventor. So wait, this guy was making weapons? I don't know. Something like that. Something like that.
Starting point is 00:10:10 Cap Anson, he was a manager and a player, which was common back then. And he was authoritarian as a manager, marching his players onto the field in military formation. You're talking Cap Anson? And banning alcohol consumption during the playing season, which was very popular. He was corrupt as hell. He led the league in betting on games. Is he a Hall of Famer? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. The best of all time.
Starting point is 00:10:31 And then in 1872, the 20 year old Anson met 13 year old Virginia Feigl and they got married. It always ends that way. And had several children together, three of whom died in infancy. Of course, always like that. And after his baseball queer Anson opened his own billiards hall and toured extensively on the vaudeville circuit, performing monologues and songs,
Starting point is 00:10:53 but all of those ventures failed. So, Cap Anson had a troubled youth. Yeah. He was radically authoritarian. He was vociferously racist corrupt and he was a failed artist oh he was that's a Hitler trajectory and he fucked a 13 year old cap Anson answers the question what if Hitler was also a pedophile but he I think he is in the Hall of Fame Hitler would be in the Hall of Fame if he just
Starting point is 00:11:22 decided to also be a pedophile goddamn That's pretty Pretty I'm surprised there hasn't been like a push to get these guys out of the Hall of Fame I'm not I'm surprised. He wouldn't even let his photo be black and white He did see ya. Hey, it's sepia. He wouldn't even let the black in there I I went a little bit later than you do you know hoit Wilhelm? I know some hoits, but not will Oh, yes, this is much later. Yeah much later. Yeah, what year are we talking? This is like World War two era I went a little bit later than you do you know Hoyt Wilhelm? I know some Hoyts, but not Wilhelm Yes, this is much later. Yeah much later. Yeah, what year are we talking? This is like World War two era
Starting point is 00:11:49 I was a knuckleballer, and he was like teams. He didn't play pro. He was one of a we did eventually he was one of 11 children and He when he was a boy he was like I want to be a knuckleballer from a little boy That was like one of four professions back then though. A knuckleballer. Yeah. That was like, that was one of the big professions. Like Mary, I want you to marry a doctor, a lawyer, a knuckleballer.
Starting point is 00:12:13 My brother was a locksmith. I was a knuckleballer. Yeah. And you were like jealous of the locksmith. He was practicing being a knuckleballer and before we could make it to the pros drafted to the war, he's in the Battle of the Bulge, which is one of the big battles. Who do you know about Battle of the Bulge?
Starting point is 00:12:29 Oh yeah, big time. Gets shrapnel up and down his spine. Purple Heart. Not a good spot. Comes home, gets drafted by the Giants at 30. Yeah, we'll take him. Yeah, we'll fucking take him. So he has Nazi shrapnel in his back, the Giants take him, his knuckle balls are so insane
Starting point is 00:12:49 that no catcher can catch them. So he had like 50 past pitches in like one season. There's pictures of his catcher back then who got a special mitt. Yeah. And it was like way big around. His catcher said heaven is a place where there's no knuckle balls. Yeah. There it is like way big around. His catcher said heaven is a place where there's no knuckle balls.
Starting point is 00:13:06 Yeah. There it is. He was doing it. Look at the glove. Look at the glove. There's no way. Just for this dude. This is the size of a backpack.
Starting point is 00:13:15 Yeah. The Giants, well his first ever swing in the MLB was a home run, never hit another home run. Check it off the list. The team cut him because he was They were just going past the catcher the Giants cut Was he throwing a knuckleball every pitch? Yes? That's all he threw knuckleball every pitch He was a 30 year old rookie with shrapnel in his spine
Starting point is 00:13:44 So this he was a 30 year old rookie after the war the Dodgers signed him in 1971. Wait, how old was he? He was in his 50s. Yeah, yeah. Through seven games for the Dodgers in 1971. Oh my God. And then he got hired as a coach because he had the craziest knuckleball.
Starting point is 00:14:00 The way they describe it, they are saying it had more movement than any pitcher, even in the modern era. And so they hired him as a pitching coach, and then he refused to teach it. He said, you have to be born with it. So they hire him as a coach, and then he just refused to fucking teach it. So it's not even early baseball. All these guys are fucking weird. All of them. That's way too late for those antics He got signed in 71. My dad was seven years old
Starting point is 00:14:29 When Hoyt Wilhelm got signed by the Dodgers. Yeah, our dads were my dad was playing high school baseball By looking up to this dude trying to throw the knuckleball They would bring this guy in when Roger Maris was trying to break the home run record and nobody wanted him to do it. They would bring in Hoyt Wilhelm to fuck with him. Really? Yeah, because you know he's keyed up to hit fastball and stuff and they bring this guy in and he couldn't touch him. They would do it just to be a dick. That's, it's incredible shit. Are you just doing Hoyt's though? No, no I'm not doing Hoyt's. Because I also have
Starting point is 00:15:03 Cornelius McGillicuddy. No way. What? Very famous. That's Connie Mack. Connie Mack. You know him, Brandon? That's one of the most famous managers in baseball history. Oh, Connie Mack.
Starting point is 00:15:14 Yeah. That's Cornelius McGillicuddy. His record as a manager is 3,731, 3,948. That's so many bases. Did he just play? And 76 ties. 3,731, 3,948. That's so many bases. Did he just play? And 76 ties. He managed the team for 50 years.
Starting point is 00:15:31 Did you hear about his accusations? Oh yeah. They were serious. He was accused of being a miser. And people were pissed. People were fucking pissed. That was one of the biggest crimes back then, was being a miser.
Starting point is 00:15:44 Baseball Was so funny It's a penny pincher. He's a cheapskate Get him out of here But he started his own team the Buffalo Bisons wrong pluralization, but they were the Bison Bison You guys have both used the affectation of the voice, you know, like Right there by talk do y'all think y'all would have thrived in an era where you just talk like that Yeah, been angry like that. Oh, yeah, what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, yeah, hey what's going on here? They're also doing like stunts on the field and like dressing up in costumes. Yeah
Starting point is 00:16:21 Yes, and you're gonna bring them up. I got a few But he signed uh He signed dummy Hoy to the bison. Yeah, you have to be next on my list His motherfucking dummy Hoy and dummy Taylor, I'm sure you know about dummy Taylor don't know about dummy Taylor dummy Hoy the five foot four center fielder who was he was the most accomplished deaf player in MLB history after dummy Taylor he spoke he said to have been able to speak with a squeak he was one of the most intelligent players of his time yeah dummy but like they would call him William and he could read lips and hit his squeaky voice
Starting point is 00:17:06 who would correct them to call them Dummy. He'd be like, Dummy! Dummy Taylor was even better. Well Dummy Hoy has more hits than Bill Mazeroski. Dummy Hoy has so many hits. He has well, he has over 2,000 hits. Wow, so Dummy Taylor. Well Dummy Hoy is the reason that they use they use the coaches use symbols and baseball and the catcher
Starting point is 00:17:27 He pretty much invented the signals It's really fucking interesting and hilarious. It's the perfect thing I played with a I played high school hockey with a deaf kid Lloyd. You know was he good no Okay, so both elves were silent? Lloyd's legacy lasting legacy was him describing having sex with another deaf girl in his car via sidekick We wrote it via sidekick I thought he tapped a homie at a I'm gonna get a dummy that can hear. I'm gonna get a proxy.
Starting point is 00:18:03 Get in there, Robin. Wait, who's dummy? Who's the other dummy? So Dummy Taylor was maybe even more influential. He has a section on Wikipedia just called reputation for clowning. Wait a minute, I have a clown. Yeah. I have Nick Altrock, which is my name and my favorite genre.
Starting point is 00:18:21 Yeah. That's it. There was a better you. Yeah. Nick Alt Rock. Yeah. The time dummy Taylor would have post shower wrestling matches with Frank Bowerman. On one occasion, dummy Taylor disagreed with the decision by umpire Bill Clem not to call
Starting point is 00:18:44 the game as darkness fell. So Taylor returned to the clubhouse and came back onto the field wearing a fireman's oil skin and holding a lit lantern above his head. Dude, this was like a regular baseball game back then. Taylor was able to emit a rattling shriek just as the opposing pitcher was about to release a pitch. Teammates compared the noise.
Starting point is 00:19:04 Wait, was he deaf as well? Yes, they faced off once How'd it go who won dummy Hoy got two hits off of him damn His whole team learned sign language so they could talk to him embrace him as more than just a teammate but a family member Heartwarming. Yeah players today won't even like learn poor favor for the 27 Dominican Dude Nick alt rock was He pitched till he was 57 He's probably like a severe alcoholic what he does his his teammate and his best friend Al schnack Do do you know how schnack? He's the clown prince of baseball
Starting point is 00:19:46 Yeah, they would clown on the side. They would clown on the sidelines There's a lot of clout didn't they have an act where I think they had an act where one of them hit upside down I don't headstand They pitch to him back then like the funniest thing a person could do with spinning umbrella really fast They would both got there into spin umbrellas Yeah And people would go nuts and then they would fake a boxing match except then they became enemies And they actually fucking fought and people thought it was the show and they beat the fuck out of each other on the field
Starting point is 00:20:14 And they were like there was like someone got hit in the head with a cola can and died They're always like people were like fighting umpires. Yeah. Oh Dude, I was so this is so much fun cause there's thousands of them. I was just going to the Chicago orphans alone. Zaza Harvey. Um, he had to quit because he got a really bad stomach ache and everlasting stomach ache. So he tried to bathe in like hot springs and, and it didn't work. So he's like, I fear my time here is done. I've been plagued
Starting point is 00:20:53 Leroy chance he was a world champion prizefighter like the best boxer in the world on top of being the first baseman And he married Edith pancake and immediately died of asthma You get pancake and what else is there left? What is up was it Edith pancake had open she was a like a premier advocate for women in baseball eat at the pancake Germany shaved for notorious trickster. It was pancake just spelled P a n C a yeah Why did they have weird and last names? Are there current pancakes? Like is there are there pancakes like now there is one that I wrote Dirty Jack Doyle he would just fight he would physically assault umpires fans opposing players and even at times his own teammates
Starting point is 00:21:40 But that then he retired and became a cop and an umpire. Oh my god But that then he retired and became a cop and an umpire. Oh my god Johnny Kling was secretly a Jew named Johnny Klein. He was a world champion billiards player Cockroach Salisbury was a switch hitting burn victim who only put it against lefties Casserole McGinnness. No. No. Two-glupped shortstop. Shut the fuck up. Top seed.
Starting point is 00:22:08 You're gonna act. No, that's, I'm gonna blur the lines. Cause there are real, like there's a team in Wheeling. What were they called? The Stogies. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, it was cool. A lot of like famous players.
Starting point is 00:22:20 Did Glasscock play there? I think, yeah, I was gonna talk about Glasscock. He's a Wheing guy. He is Who's glass cock glass cocks a Hall of Famer as well again if you played baseball yeah Hall of Famer if you survived yeah, yeah Did they did glass yeah, Jack glass cock and Chappie Lane come on Look even like the ones who aren't that interesting were still funny. Dave Brain had 67 errors in one season. Brain was making mistakes? Some of the players just couldn't field.
Starting point is 00:22:52 They were really good at hitting. And they would still make the Hall of Fame. Do you know about Eddie Grant? Not the singer of Electric Avenue. He was born in 1883. He went to Harvard. They called him Harvard Eddie and in in the MLB The team makes teammates would get mad at him because when you yelled out like I've got it
Starting point is 00:23:14 He would correct their grammar like pop-ups. I think I think he was like you mean you have it What that died date is not good died? Yes, what did it just says? Yes? No no died yes He died He got that war he got hit by He played for the Cleveland Naps. I was gonna bring up the Cleveland Naps But he died at war a lot of it was a lot of them went to war and he died at war He's a captain in World War one How do you get I think you got hit by a missile just him a whole ass missile yeah
Starting point is 00:23:54 They have missiles They had artillery got hit by artillery like single singled out mm-hmm But he would correct grammar, and then he got drafted got blown up Singled out. Mm-hmm. But he would correct grammar, and then he got drafted, got blown up. Can you scroll down to the very bottom? Or no, not the very bottom,
Starting point is 00:24:09 but the last bit of the article. Legacy. Someone tried, they stole his plaque. Where, what city is that in Jersey? Ho-ho-cus. Ho-ho-kay. That was ho-ho-cus. Okay.
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Starting point is 00:24:56 I'll be behind enemy lines, so to speak, but as a friend. Behind enemy lines? Yeah, Brachio's gonna be crazy. Oh my God, yeah. That'll be fun. Very excited about it. I heard her shows are great. So big shot to Game Time.
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Starting point is 00:28:01 There it is It's on his Wikipedia, it's a how do you get his nickname? That was his nickname? It was a first name? It's on his Wikipedia. How'd he get the nickname? He was kind of tan. Wait he went from the browns to the naps? To the crackers? You think after the crackers it would end? Everything is funny.
Starting point is 00:28:20 Everything is funny. On Thanksgiving night he got married in Sandwich, Ontario It's like who wrote this real life didn't like the nickname Yes, you hated the nickname. Yeah, sorry, but I wonder bitch fucking bitch how do you get it oh it's dark but he's still my newspaper gave it to her oh my god you can't race this ass horse rider he's so white he was a marine oh my god in the spring of 1925
Starting point is 00:29:09 the sporting news wrote don't say it and IG Clark could only let not only led the league with the bat in the mitts in the arm he was the very picture of a baseball player I rather suspect that nig put away as much corn juice as the next man in the I thought it was like a refreshing like lemonade in the days of his greatness He was he was won't to take a couple of stiff tours every morning before breakfast. What's that never seemed to hurt? NIG and alcohol Can you even it's only 200 bucks. Sipping on corn. Oh my god.
Starting point is 00:29:50 And then there was a guy named Elmer Fleck who played for the Naps. When he was 15 years old he was just at the train station and the team was going to an away game but only eight of their players showed up. So they were like, you, you little boy, come with us. Playing this Major League Baseball game. And he did, and he went on to be a Hall of Famers. Of course he did, of fucking course he did. He also had to quit in 1907
Starting point is 00:30:13 because of an everlasting stomach. No, not just that. He brought down two Hall of Famers. That's so funny. He was encouraged by doctors to get his appendix removed, but he was only 130 pounds, so he didn't wanna weigh any less. Then he was replaced by shoeless Joe Jackson.
Starting point is 00:30:31 Wow. Dude, baseball's incredible. George Firebrand suspended for spitting tobacco juice on an umpire. Harry Bae slipped and broke all of his ribs while walking on ice. he died a few weeks later like ice wasn't more dangerous back then No it wasn't
Starting point is 00:30:51 There wasn't like sharp already There's no excuse ever to die What is going on? This is oh Oh he died at 74 though wait he played for the naps too he died it's oh he died at 74 okay are the naps literally just like sleeping naps yeah no I think was named after their manager one of their players naps now pleasure way got it okay oh my god Brandon when you're like learning about this stuff cuz you've been a fan of this for a while is it it hilarious? Well, I didn't register to me the three finger Brown was fucking hilarious
Starting point is 00:31:30 It's the funniest point in history ever mm-hmm y'all know Eddie Goodell, right knows Eddie Goodell Eddie Goodell was uh The Browns needed attendance and they need also needed somebody to get on base. So they the Browns Yeah, they signed a midget to come take a walk And he has one at bat What did he get walk? four pitches Yeah, there he is That's a man he looks like it's Eddie Goodell looks like oh my god. Yeah, is he in the Hall of Fame?
Starting point is 00:32:05 I don't think he is he only have the one at bat, but he was Sitting on a lap Maybe it was a boy. I don't know. I thought he was uh yeah definitely this is a man. That looks like moocs throwbacks So Brett like games back then had to be so entertained did he carjack you Kyle when you were dead? So entertaining did he carjack you Kyle when you were dead? It's like they combined the circus with baseball it was unbelievable and this is before fans were also there were oftentimes Where they would run out of seats and they didn't really have the big modern stadiums yet But they're still popular and they would just rope off Outfield you know there would be fans standing
Starting point is 00:32:45 in the outfield behind the ropes. Was it a home run if it went behind the ropes? Correct. And sometimes they would lift, if it went over the rope, it was a home run. They would step on the rope and make it lower. Yeah, yeah. So there's, I think the Boston World Series back then,
Starting point is 00:32:58 there's just shots of whatever park, I don't know if it was Fenway yet, but there were shots of the park where just fans standing inside the, on the field as they played the game. Were there- Just cheap tickets? And fans also- Yeah, oh my God. Well, that's in 1930, that's, yeah, there they are.
Starting point is 00:33:15 That's pretty much later. Oh my God. Yeah, that's 1930. Like I was talking about like 1905 and stuff. This inspires awe in me. Yes. Cause like we talk about like how ridiculous and absurd everything was back then,
Starting point is 00:33:27 but like it wasn't like, it was a serious sport. Like they played so many games. Yeah. The attendance was crazy. It was wildly, wildly popular. Well, it's like it grew like wild fire. Like modern football, modern basketball don't really start to like the forties or the fifties.
Starting point is 00:33:42 Modern baseball starts in 1903. Oh yeah, but they were also playing in the 1860s. Yeah, yeah, they were playing, yeah. I cannot get enough. I think this is, we're not, we started to be like a history podcast. We're just an old baseball podcast. Hold on, King, oh, hold on.
Starting point is 00:34:00 There were a lot of guys named Frenchy, right? Then there was King Kelly. King Kelly was like the best player in the 1880s and he had a tremendous mustache. Yeah, there he is. He looks like an athlete though. Yeah. Oh yeah, he does.
Starting point is 00:34:13 Got a little Tom Selleck to him. There was one guy with the nickname Moose and I was like, oh, was he huge? No, he just looked exactly like Mussolini. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. It's, it's.
Starting point is 00:34:25 When did, Brandon, when did they start? Cause back in the 1800s and early 1900s, I'm not going to lie, I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie, I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie.
Starting point is 00:34:33 I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie.
Starting point is 00:34:41 I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going tograph. I don't know what they did back then. Like being a professional screwdriver or something. Yeah. Yeah. But when did they start, you get paid to only play baseball, when did that start?
Starting point is 00:34:50 Oh, I mean, probably, the real, real good ones probably as soon as baseball started. But pro baseball- Most of them were rank and file, were not making it like that. Got it. Pro baseball was almost a fallback job. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:04 Well, they had, those guys were lawyers in the off season or whatever in the off season. Their off season jobs were. Dudes would graduate, Dummy Hoy graduated valedictorian from Ohio State School of the Deaf. And he didn't, I don't think he even wanted to play baseball. A lot of them did not wanna play at all.
Starting point is 00:35:23 I think he was a failed, what was he, he was a failed. They're like modern day lacrosse players. Oh no, he was, he graduated valedictorian of Ohio State School of the Deaf, and he went into shoe repair, and he failed. He was like, I wanna play baseball. Yeah, he failed at shoe repair. I said, I wanna play baseball.
Starting point is 00:35:41 Yeah, it was like a failure of a job. But it was, there was also like so many minor league teams I'm a million so how are like they couldn't have been making any money I Don't I have no idea well not just my league but like every little city had their own little traveling teams back then So it's fun. Toledo would have one Akron would have one like they're all maybe even more It's almost like soccer culture in England every little town has a team for sure Yeah, that has like a fandom uh-huh. This is like Old baseball is my new or my my Pokemon I get or it's very what describe it as
Starting point is 00:36:14 These players don't feel real to me They don't They don't it just it seems like I'm reading a wiki for like a show fandom Exactly it also seems like a lot reading a wiki for like a show fandom. Exactly. It also seems like a lot of it could be made up. Yeah, I guess it would really be easy to fake. Yeah. Really, really, really easy.
Starting point is 00:36:33 Some of these guys might've been normal guys, but to just say, yeah, he used to bat with an umbrella, see? Yeah, and then people would be like, yeah, yeah, he did. Sure fucked it, yeah. Yeah. I don't know, I think I believe that. It wasn't like that long ago, like there are historical wrecks. There's did, yeah. Yeah. I don't know, I think I believe that. It wasn't like that long ago, like there are historical wrecks.
Starting point is 00:36:46 There's photos, yeah. Oh, and fans were just. They would like bring guns. They were vile. Shoot the center fielder. They were vile criminal people, yes. The fans are criminal people? Oh yeah, the fans were fucking awful back then.
Starting point is 00:36:58 What's the, what does that mean? Verbally? Verbally, physically I think, they would storm the field in a second back then. What was the famous dollar beer night? Oh that was like in the 70s. Yeah, that was a disco demolition night in Chicago got out of control. What was the disco demolition?
Starting point is 00:37:14 Wasn't there a Cleveland one? That might have been dollar beer night, yeah. Or maybe penny beer night. Yeah, it was penny beer night. They went crazy. And they took over the stadium and went on the field and just started beating the shit out of the players. Oh, that happened every Friday in Wheeling at the Nailers games frosty Friday 10 cent beer night. Okay. Yeah
Starting point is 00:37:30 Cleveland Indians in 1974. Yeah 70 baseball fans were pretty crazy up into like when did base when did baseball get lame? Is it after? Sammy Sosa Mark Maguire. No, I was before that was probably like the 70s were cool The 70s were still kind of wild though. Okay. The 70s were still kind of, cause you had fans doing a bunch of shit. You had Morgana the kissing bandit. What? What? You had Morgana the kissing bandit. I clearly said that. You didn't say that. No, no, of course. And I shouldn't have, I shouldn't have interrupted. Yeah. Well, see, I'm gonna say it one more time.
Starting point is 00:38:00 It was Morgana the kissing bandit. It was a large breasted blonde woman who would run on the field and kiss her, uh, her favorite place. Oh, she has huge, gigantic, gigantic titties. Oh, but, but, but there were fans, the fan behavior didn't, didn't curtail until like 76, 77. Was she still flashing titty? No, she would just run on there bouncing the titties were bouncing. Other games and she would like other teams or was she the world series? I think Morgana made it to the World Series Yeah, that might be the all-star game. Yeah, there she goes. And that's what she would do And those titties would flop. Wait a minute were fake titties a thing back then?
Starting point is 00:38:34 Yeah, I think fake titties been there around for a while Dolly Parton was around But she didn't kiss anybody. She kissed the batter. Oh, did she kiss the batter before she ran off? So why wouldn't she just show them yeah I really if you're gonna break the rules I really want to see him yeah show she kiss did they kiss her back oh they always they love kiss her they like French in her I don't know if they Frenched her but they they she was a thing I believe that yeah where is she I know they know yeah cow Ripken got that. Yeah, Cal Ripken. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:39:07 They were sagging by then, though. Yeah. Wow. And she has her own card. It's Morgana the Kissing Bandit. She has like a modern day ass. Yeah. She has a present day ass. She does. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:23 She's a Y2K. I yeah, he's a y2k George Brett took his time to kiss her right there Her mouth so the players were just making out with her this wasn't that long ago. No. It wasn't that guy's on his knee He's he's like war. He's like welcoming her bottom right What year was this I'm gonna have a large breasted woman who was known for kissing internet personalities ran through this room right now, I think we would welcome her. I would run at her. But what year was this?
Starting point is 00:39:52 This is the 70s. She was mostly in the 70s. She got Will Chamberlain. Yeah, she got, that's Kareem Nubat-George Barr. Kareem Nubat-George Barr. That's her. Hey! That is not the Skyhook.
Starting point is 00:40:03 You still get glimpses though of the crazy fans. Like the Yankees guys brought that back for me. Like the way he grabbed that glove, I was like, oh, okay. But that's not a big-titted woman on the field. Frenchin'. But I'm just saying the fans, you know, like he said it died down. It did for sure. But I feel like you get glimpses every once in a while.
Starting point is 00:40:18 Every once in a while, but it's not rock and roll like it used to be. Yeah, but what they had back then was a big titted woman running around kissing players And then now we have Zack Hample chasing foul ball. Yeah dork. Yeah, that's bullshit What sport is like the most rock and roll right now? Fucking oh hockey had the titty them Hockey yeah, and the minor league hockey culture those fans are crazy. You'll see tits on glass a lot of hockey Yeah, yeah Yeah
Starting point is 00:40:43 I had when I was playing juniors in Texas We played against Amarillo on the playoffs and their stadium was like kind of a part of this mall But it was underground so when you went in you had to go down But it was pretty big Anyways, the you weren't allowed to do any like pyrotechnics because it was underground before our playoff game. They said fuck that So I was in the starting line up around the blue line They do this huge fireworks show in an underground stadium. Did just fill up a smoke filled up with smoke.
Starting point is 00:41:07 And then the rafters had some sort of insulin in it and it's caught on fire. So standing on the blue line and embers were falling down over the ice. And they were just like, can't get canceled. No, they were kind of keep it hush hush because they weren't allowed to do it. So then they just started the game anyway. And you couldn't see a crowd played in smoke. It played in smoke. It was like my win. You'd be the hell out of that fucking cratered byed by them. Okay. That's a hockey town. Yeah
Starting point is 00:41:31 Yeah, yeah, so yeah junior hockey you definitely do get a little bit of that for sure Does she have a book or anything or a movie? Yeah, no Morgana. I know I get Instagram Araya profile does she have a link a Lot of them back then to like shoeless Joe Jackson was just flat-out illiterate Yeah, like couldn't function in modern society. Yeah. Well, I you know, yeah shoeless Having shoes is a little bit More responsible Yeah, I'm from us I
Starting point is 00:42:17 Cannot get enough wish I was we could round out probably the rest of 2024 on baseball players We might lose some listeners we might gain some listeners and soon as we get some baseball heads in we're gonna probably switch back Yeah, this is bad for the show as a whole But what can you do? What can you do? All right Collecting cards is such a fun easy hobby. It's a no-brainer I think it's taken off right now for like adults, so that's cool, and we're talking about Arena Club mm-hmm Arena Club cool and we're talking about Arena Club. Arena Club, thanks to slab packs from arenaclub.com,
Starting point is 00:42:49 it's possible to score gem mints for a fraction of their retail price. Okay, every card was hit from last week's Arena Club slab pack drop. Arena Club is the only repack that provides real value, a complete view of all possible cards, and clear hit rates for each one, which is awesome. Arena Club's lab packs are revolutionizing the repack game with transparency.
Starting point is 00:43:18 Okay. Yeah, go to Arena Club is like, they have a great showroom. You can buy and sell on their on their sites And if you're into repacks you can trust them with repacks if you're a card guy, you know that some repackers are very sketchy But check out Arena Club their marketplace you can find some steals on there sign up today Yeah, yeah, if you're into cards or you want to get into cards, but I think you should Check out Arena Club. It's a noble hobby That's arena clubcom slash anus code
Starting point is 00:43:47 anus for 10% off your first purchase. All right, here's something new. I'm really excited about it and I think you guys will be too. So bear with me as I describe this product. Mobile X. Mobile X is a new kind of mobile phone carrier that will save you a ton of cash on your phone bill. Okay. I'm in. Yeah. Simply download the app and take control
Starting point is 00:44:14 of how much you pay. Absolutely. By leaving your current mobile phone carrier, that'll be, yeah, do that. You'll get unfucked. Oh. Okay, it says it here. By leaving your current mobile phone carrier,
Starting point is 00:44:28 you'll get unfucked with Mobile X and save a fuckton of cash. That's in the copy. Okay. Well, yeah, there's so many things you could do with a fuckton of cash. Right, you can buy a new Wii remote, a new Wii controller. Yeah, a tank of gas, multiple rounds of golf.
Starting point is 00:44:49 Sports cards. Sports cards. Okay, yeah, I'm prepared to get unfucked and to save a fuck ton of cash. That seems like killing two birds with one stone. People are paying for mobile data they don't use. With Mobile X you only pay for what you use finally, finally, finally, never for what you don't. Okay, here's the catch. Psych, there is no catch.
Starting point is 00:45:12 It's honestly hard to believe you could be saving up to 90% of your phone bill when you switch to Mobile X. Go check out mymobilex.com or download the Mobile X app from the App Store or Google Play, or its mobile X time to get unfucked. Brandon was new with you. You're trying to get ripped. Huh. You're trying to get.
Starting point is 00:45:34 I am trying to get ripped. I've been working out a lot. Yeah. I actually skipping a workout right now so I can do this with you guys. That's not true. Yeah. College football show tonight. You're not leaving here.
Starting point is 00:45:42 You're lying to us. No, I had my day portioned out that I was going to take my nap from 6.30 to 8.30. I was going to do all my shows. And then between 3 and 5 I was going to work out. Then I was going to go to dinner. Then I was going to do my show. You're not working out before college football show. I might have. You're going to get all tuckered out and you're not. I don't want to get tuckered out. You're all right. And every day is like, oh, I skipped. I'm actually skipping my workout right now because of you guys.
Starting point is 00:46:04 Because of whatever else is going on Yeah, it's like the mailman. Do you skip a workout for this? Do I skip? I'm gonna be dead honest. No I'll add I'll do it I'll reverse skip a workout Three in a row. I guess that counts, right? Yeah, I guess two workouts in a row make a skip. Yeah, I'll reverse skip.
Starting point is 00:46:32 Man. What else we got going on? Fuck the modern era. I was watching a TikTok and it was like 2016. You tried to make your voice sound cooler for that sentence. I was watching what is it called? What's that? Fucking TikTok shit? I was on there.
Starting point is 00:46:49 It was like 2016 is so LA coded. I'm like alright, I guess. The top comment was 2015 was low key 2016 part 1. Fuck this. Fucking damn it. Fuck that. 2015 was low-key 2016 part one Fucking damn it fuck oh my god It's not wrong Yeah, I guess if you had to pick a year back then To just drop into what are you going like? Like an alt are you going to teen you don't go to teen cuz I had a war I'm going like 1908
Starting point is 00:47:23 Oh back back then back back anything about because if I had to go back right now, I go back to like my age right now 1993 But I think yeah, the 90s would be For us. I think at like historically. Yeah Well, I just going on the college premise that he was born in the wrong time He would rather been born like 1895 to 1910. No, I'm kidding. I wouldn't want to do labor. I wouldn't want to work hard. I want to like like binge meals, like good food, salted food.
Starting point is 00:47:55 Yeah. Everybody that says they're born in the wrong generation right now is always the best until tomorrow. I want to be old enough to miss the war drafts. Right now is kind of awesome. Yeah, it's not too bad. miss the war drafts right now. It's kind of awesome Yeah, it's not too bad. It's not too bad right now right now is sick Like we have door dash yeah, that's so sick the only delivery for about 40 years was just pizza and milk and Chinese You know how delivers and babies and babies, but now anything I want dude My flusher broke on my toilet. That's not what you call that thing
Starting point is 00:48:35 Flusher handle no oh no oh no That's a flusher. That's a flusher Wait a minute a handle would describe any handle any raw flushers are just talking about the the the chrome thing only doesn't have Sometimes it has a divot the knob the knob that you press Public certainly just a handle you'll call it a flusher you go flusher and Google handle. What do you mean? I don't call it a flusher. What? You hold on to a handle this is wheeling It's a wheelie! It's a wheelie! You fucking, you hold on to a handle.
Starting point is 00:49:03 This is a wheelie in West Virginia, motherfucking shit. You hardly, you hardly touch a flusher. A handle is something you grab. What do you mean you hardly touch it? And you hang on. That apparatus, that's the only thing you can call a flusher. I don't know, I never called anything a flusher. That's a flusher.
Starting point is 00:49:21 That's a handle. Wait, Rudy, what do you call it? I'm a flusher. It's a flusher. You don't even know, you didn handle wait Rudy. What do you call it? I've no flusher It's a flusher. You don't even know you didn't even know what you're saying just now Something you hold on to like a bike handle yeah toilet handle makes it sound like it's a mobile You're really shitting hard if you have a handle carrying around a toilet handle I want to carry somebody into the bathroom right now and say what is that pick me up? Okay, go grab somebodyody follow him pick me up
Starting point is 00:49:46 Okay, grab it with this few like a variety of races and creed They're buttons up here fuck can't do it. It's true. They're hands-free world We can just maybe show a picture of a that grab somebody What's that what's that the one lower there right there the the Danco from home Depot? What's that? The one lower there, right there. The Danco from Home Depot. What's that called? Yeah, you had to- Hold on, hold on. Let's find a perfect picture.
Starting point is 00:50:10 Congrats picking the 10th one. Well, that one proves my point. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Brandon, if they say what I want them to say, you have to suck my cock dry. That's, yeah. Get your ass in here, Hankel. This is the guy to ask Hank. He's gonna be a look up there that picture on the right That's it's kind of see that toilet right there. I do see the what's he pointing at?
Starting point is 00:50:34 handle Where are you from Michigan? No Grab somebody else. Yeah, get him the fuck out of here. Thank you. That's a flusher. He was coming Virginia is that if is that a West Virginia shit, you know I usually try to Like strip all biases away like thinking logically like that's the thing that flushes the toy a handle was on a hand I could describe a variety of different things handles don't move Hey, Rashi So many different things. Handles don't move.
Starting point is 00:51:03 Hey. Marashie. Oh, Marashie. What's up, dude? What's up, homie? Take a seat. Yeah. Marashie's going to be confused what this whole thing is. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha question. See that toilet up there? This picture, the big picture of the right. Yep. What's he pointing at? The flusher. Yes. Yes. One to one.
Starting point is 00:51:29 He says handle. I could see why you would say that, but it's a flusher. Handle is a completely different thing. All right. Thank you. But again, that helps. It does mean it's happy. Okay. Thank you. That's a smooth tie right there. Let's call it a tie. So we're just going to break it right here. Yeah. Oh, we're gonna call it a tie. I'll be tiebreaker And remember you'll have to suck me dry All right, that's a flusher. That's a flusher. It's a toilet handle. Oh man. That's a nice little heated debate I wonder if it's a geographic. Moresha's from Connecticut. I don't know
Starting point is 00:52:02 I don't know if that like it doesn't get referred to a lot like I'm Not like saying flusher apply once every once. Can I just stop right there every single one of those says toilet handle every single Fucking one of those said I can Google toilet flusher and it says flusher. Yeah, right. He already typed handle Anyways I ordered one on door dash cuz I feel like leaving that's amazing. You ordered a toilet handle on door dash? Yeah, I I ordered one on DoorDash, because I didn't feel like leaving. That's amazing. You ordered a toilet handle on DoorDash? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:25 I didn't know. They can pick up from those. Did you lose yours? It snapped. What did you, on DoorDash, what did you type in to get it? Flusher. There you go.
Starting point is 00:52:34 Flusher. No, not there you go. There you go implies this argument's over. People say door handle. I mean a lever, because both things gripped. Well, that's just an online nerd. That is, that's Keith Alum. He has 8,000 answers on Quora. He also has no face. Oh he's a dick. Born, raised, educated,
Starting point is 00:52:52 and worked in the UK. All right, all right, I will accept this one. TJ. TJ. You're the tiebreaker. So he's born and raised in Jersey. Yeah, this that's that bodes well for us all right take a seat each Tj you see that the picture to the right that's been pulled out there. Yes that toilet. What is he pointing at handle? Thank you Tj. I Appreciate that Tj. This is not good. That's a flusher No Appreciate that TJ. This is not good. That's a flusher I've wouldn't never in my life have called that a flusher. That's a handle. It's a handle, okay This is a people all all the time. Thank you TJ. I didn't know this people all the time debate like terms, right? Yeah, like I'm still I'm still a buggy guy until the day. I'm a buggy guy, too
Starting point is 00:53:41 No, yeah, that's a cart. I'm still a buggy a shopping cart buggy. Yeah, I'm a buggy guy too yeah that's a cart I'm still a buggy a shopping cart bug yeah go get a buggy I've never heard the handle flusher debate but yes people only talk about it but I don't know I'm we might have just discovered a debate it's a flusher Luke what do you call it I've never really called it anything you pile up I'm. I've never seen this before. Dude, New Year's resolution, don't flush. I'm not flushing this year. No flushes in 25. I'm trying to flush less.
Starting point is 00:54:16 I'm stacking. I guess I have no memories with that thing. Like good or bad? I use it a lot. I remember ones that feel nice I like the ones with haptic feedback Yeah I think you gotta read children's books
Starting point is 00:54:32 on how to poop and see what they refer to it in there Oh that's a great point Yeah let's see, let's read Help I Poop My Pants Just look at how, like, how to poop Google how to poop in a toilet. That's gonna be different than drink coffee. Yeah. Okay yeah that's just gonna be constipation.
Starting point is 00:54:54 No you should do how to how to use a toilet. Use a toilet yeah for adults. A guy that can use Google, but not a toilet. That's a special type of guy. Tips for using a commode. Oh, commode is one, too. Well, that's just the bowl itself. That's a toilet. Yeah. Oh, that's that's the squat. Also.
Starting point is 00:55:21 I don't I've never used one, but I don't know that I would have to ask somebody how to use a squat toilet. It's pretty fucking self-explanatory. It is just a hole. It is just a hole. That's like asking how to play connect 4 That's the name, baby That's the name Shit how do we how do I win connect 4? Well speaking of poop milestones would you like to share? I
Starting point is 00:55:50 Didn't do it in front, but I told for the first time. I did not poop in secret with my partner in the house For the first time Smitty you just shut the door and she knew we're in there. No out watching a show stood up said I have to go to the bathroom Never had done that I was always being like secretive with it. I'll time it with my showers when she would shower I'd go downstairs. I'd be like I'll go do laundry Did you say I got to go to the bathroom you say the bathroom my stomach hurts But now are you gonna keep doing it now that you got it off haven't done it since I didn't like it the funny Thing about that I get the same my stomach hurts, but you're just implying that had my stomach not hurt
Starting point is 00:56:31 I wouldn't be shitting right. I didn't want her to think that I was like a shit guy So I had to him Well I didn't want to be like I have to shit she's like always a shit now It's in her head thing yeah, then you do, this guy poops. But if my stomach hurts, it's also kind of her fault because she cooks dinner. Right, and you're a victim. It's her shit. You're a victim.
Starting point is 00:56:51 Yeah, it's her shit and I'm not. Yeah, dude, it was. So would you ever leave the actual home to shit somewhere else? I have done that. Hotel lobbies are great. I would sometimes. When you're in a hotel.
Starting point is 00:57:04 Yeah, yeah Sometimes I'll be like oh, I gotta go to work get my laptop come here shit come back one time I was at her place in Cleveland when we were living apart and She left to go meet her parents for something for something really quick and I was like now's my time I go down I take. I hadn't shit for four days took a shit my god I look at the toilet paper roll catastrophe not that it's empty, but there's like a Few few pieces left when you start taking those away It goes away quick when that and then if I replace the roll she'll know that there I've been I've shit mm-hmm Right I think that would have been fine. No people like you were afraid to replace the role. Yes
Starting point is 00:57:47 So what I did was I shit use the whole roll No, you didn't do what I think you're about. No I went through her closet and found where she keeps toilet paper and I emptied it to the exact amount of Sheets left and put it back on and then threw all the fresh toilet paper away took out the garbage got some brownie points there I like that that's no that that's insanity that is crazier than just shitting all over her That's clinically insane. I would be so freaked out if my partner did that she doesn't know I did it But she's know that's a pretty it's like that. It's fun getting away with shit Yeah, but it's like a harmless getaway, but didn't get away with anything
Starting point is 00:58:23 You guys you guys need to start trying shit espionage that right there is yelling a shit. Yeah I feel like I'm coming through like the glass ceiling like on like a rope and just leaving a turd and going back up Right the high level crime level heist it was toilet paper. It was damn near sociopathic of me like It was but it was felt like such a stroke of genius and it was fun. Right, I'm with you on that. My old move used to be, I'd be like, oh, I'm gonna go get coffee and then an apartment, a lobby bathroom.
Starting point is 00:58:51 Classic move. Yeah. So how long did it take you to take a fresh roll of toilet paper and just start unwinding? That's insane. I did take a picture of the roll on my phone before so I could compare it. Like, I didn't wanna, yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:04 I've never, I've never done the I got a shit wait so as you're You took a picture of the role to see where it was So I can help much like an artist would would use it as like a still life Right you just still life toilet. I was essentially sculpting a new one Yeah Do you think like you have biologically evolved to not shit as much as a human needs to I think? Honest to God I've lived we've lived together for a while Because of this I promise you I think my asshole smaller. Yeah, I bet the stretch receptors in your sphincter
Starting point is 00:59:37 They send the message to the brain at such a slow rate. It's almost unimaginable. I think I was about a year away from it healing over at such a slow rate, it's almost unimaginable. I think I was about a year away from it healing over. Just completely shutting down. I think your rectum has evolved to retain excess feces for months. No, I'm gonna die of colon cancer because I'm keeping these toxins in me. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:57 Like the levies in Louisiana. It's bad. But I could, yeah. But you're like, you get it out of the way quick. You rip the bandage off quick You say oh, you don't you're not a shape. You and I are of similar in that. I'm not a shit guy I'm not a fart guy. Don't fart around. I've never never once Yeah, I don't I don't but I go downstairs bathroom. Does she know what you're up to? Well, I have a large home
Starting point is 01:00:21 Mm-hmm with many bathrooms. How many you got? I have five. God damn. Five? Yeah, I have five bathrooms. So including one she doesn't know about yet. So I use that one. That's a nice one. Yeah, there's one tucked away in the basement. You have a, that's pimp.
Starting point is 01:00:36 That is nice. There's no evidence that she knows about it. That is very pimp to have a bathroom off the books. Yeah. That is, is that cheating? No, no, that's clever. That's just, you know. Would she be mad? She's like, you've been hiding a bathroom. the books. Yeah, that's that is is that cheating no no that's clever That's just would she be mad like you've been hot you've been hiding a bathroom No, cuz God like a second family what she hiding from me what what the day you walk in there, and there's fucking
Starting point is 01:00:53 Pads oh yeah, it's over walking out. Oh, no you got to just build a new one You're gonna be like the Winchester house for bathroom Dig under the foundation of my home for a new hole. You've never been a I have to shit guy. No, never, not once. And I be shittin'. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:14 You do be shittin'. I shit a lot. I mean I still won't prioritize shitting at home. Like even before I left your place yesterday I shit. Yeah. Wait, and that made me feel good. You shit at his place? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:27 And he tells me, he's like, I gotta go shit. He goes, poo poo time. Yeah. Poo poo time, Rudy. And he picks me up. Yeah. I'm afraid he'll give me the bathroom. I'm like, who's the big boy?
Starting point is 01:01:35 Poo poo time. Oh man. Wait, so what do you do? Do you, do you announce? I don't announce. I'm not like bragging about it or flaunting it, but I'd yeah, I do it with the door open I've seen you do it at a house party in New York City. I do it already. Yeah, it's kind of like a Coping or I'm compensating for how like actually awkward I am to put myself in control like oh, he's doing this ridiculous thing
Starting point is 01:02:07 Embarrassing thing in but he's in control of it like the Joker is so like then when I fart It's like oh he he did it on purpose because he doesn't care But then when if I do something out of like a social like gaff yeah, whatever Then it's like okay. Maybe he was in control of that too nice, so the shit kind of is a mask yeah Wow happy birthday to boozy badass who's boozy badass who's boozy badass little boozy He like his life kind of reads like a the key as a brand and I bet you know Yes, that's easy. Oh, he's Louisiana right he he bats a thousand I didn't know badass was his last name he bats a thousand on Instagram reels does he hate women he hates women and gays And Tram come on Dwayne way he told the way like kick
Starting point is 01:02:54 Don't cut his dick off In and where did he take that video? Planet fitness the planet fitness to planet fitness to shoot that video? No, he went afterwards just to go. He's very rich and has a compound with probably many gyms. He just went to Planet Fitness. Why'd he do that? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:03:15 During the pandemic, he just did Instagram Lives. I think I saw a video of him eating steak. He just had women twerking and he had a line that took my breath away. What'd he say? So he would just be on Instagram Live in his studio and then on Instagram live girls would just Join it and they would just be shaking their humongous oiled asses Yeah, yeah, and he said put some more oil on it, baby, because that's an engine
Starting point is 01:03:37 I think he's the horniest man in the world. Yeah, he gets out. How many kids does he have six with eight? Damn good stats But he's like an advocate for women staying like a coach. Oh, it's six kids with eight women Just let it go to there was a cusp two moms claimed one of them Six kids with eight women I Like bought his like 13 year old son a prostitute which is not funny. I guess Yeah, oh Brandy you like this. He's a Cosby defender good What I mean no He's an advocate for women who stay
Starting point is 01:04:25 with their cheating boyfriends or partners. Jesus Christ, Boosie. Happy birthday. Yeah, he has zero fear when a camera goes on. You ever see those 20 verse 1 videos? Yes, where it's like a funny rapper and then women come in. Yes. I saw a clip
Starting point is 01:04:45 He was like do with 360 then he was she spun around and he was like, oh you ran track And she was like, yes, how'd you know? Come on now. Oh Yeah, I'm wise he did say I'm wise is this it Yeah, oh yeah He did say I'm wise. Is this it? This could be anything. If you want to. Yeah, oh yeah. I gotta say something about this shit bro. Dwayne, wait, you going too fucking far, dog.
Starting point is 01:05:14 That is a male. A 12 year old. At 12, they don't even know what their next male gonna be. They don't have shit figured out, shit. He might meet a woman anything at 16 and fall in love with her, but it's big be gone. I don't like brothers It's you going too far dog He's in the no judgment zone
Starting point is 01:05:48 judgment zone he went there to judge nobody tells him what to do he had this take he was like I know exactly where I'm gonna judge all right Brandon thank you for joining us to two things real quick one Chappie Chi chat GBT calls it a toilet handle Oh fuck into all of our cellathon goals. We will be completing them before Christmas before Christmas Yeah, and get the the new plaats and sweatshirt shirt and listen to mostly sports and geniuses and college football show and quick picks and
Starting point is 01:06:24 Yep, unless they're an necessary roughness. Uh-huh and College football show and quick picks and unnecessary roughness and wrestling. Yak, man-ticking. That was good. Yeah, thank you. Mostly sports NCAA dynasty. The Dozen. Go on. I think that's it
Starting point is 01:06:47 He was on mucan sleep mucan sleep was just the Brandon episode listen to that Yeah, but God bless

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