A New Untold Story - Dy Young - A New Untold Story: Ep. 413

Episode Date: September 12, 2024

Kyler Bowers. Ads: Gametime - Download the Gametime app today and use code UNTOLD to easily score great deals with the new Gametime Picks! Factor - Head to https://FACTORMEALS.com/kb50 and use code kb50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month. Betterhelp - A New Untold Story is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/NEW today to get 10% off your first month. Manscaped - Get ready for kickoff by heading over to https://www.manscaped.com and use code ANUS for 20% off + free shippingYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, a new untold story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcast, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad free on Amazon Music. Yeah. Yeah. You mean you're going to reply to what I'm going to say? No, you're just going to say, no, that's a new untold story. Yeah. Hey, is that story over told? No, baby. It's a new untold story.

I knew untold story. I want to change how I start the show. I don't know how it's about time Yeah, I just say the name of the show and then I get the number wrong I want it and I was like looking through YouTube of like other youtubers and it's impossible to Do it coolly you can't intro it swaggy. Hey guys Mm-hmm. I want to do it like a moist critical. Okay. So as you know. And I'm gonna take the side of something

that everybody's also on the side of. Yes. That's the formula. Do you watch him? Is that a dude? Yeah. No. Okay.

The Deshawn Watson situation is beyond fucked up. And-hmm. And there we go. Mm-hmm million Um, I like them that I do I need a new intro. I Want to let me give it to you Kyle? Can you start clapping? Yeah. Yeah, I can do that. All right, let's do it All right anus episode 413 cool. Mm-hmm. That's right Yeah, yeah, what does that mean the number was yeah, yeah, That's right. Yeah? What does that mean?

The number was right. Yeah, that's right. I know. It's the area code for I don't know. Western Massachusetts. Wow. Wow.

It's a long one. The Berkshires. Springfield, Pittsfield, Holyoke, Amherst. The Berkshires are the mountains. I was trying to get a feel for the area. I asked the Boston dudes, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh,

Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh,

Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Wait, what Hall of Fame? Basketball. Oh, it's in a strip mall, right? No one cares about it. Yeah, because it's not NBA. It's all basketball.

So there's like women in it. Yeah, I heard it sucks. Yeah. Uh-huh. But you know, I've asked before on this program in other shows, like, where are the lesbians? Like, I was living in Manhattan. I was living in West Village, where like, gaitum began.

Yes. Like, Stonewall's Tavern. Stonewall Inn, Stonewall, yeah, whatever it is. Where are the lesbians? Because I see like gay people in big groups. I never see groups of lesbians. Is it that? I'm in New York City.

It's tough for lesbians because their direct competition is the most flamboyant showy people on earth. All the show, yeah. The lesbians are in Western Massachusetts. No kidding. Rampant lesbianism in all types of polyqueer. Is it becoming an issue or are they going to have to do population control? I think they they're all together having a blast. Like there's businesses called like handy queers.

Like there's what's handy queers that handicapped lesbians, like handymen. Like the tools. Yeah, it that handicapped lesbians like a handyman like Lots of lesbians just skulks of country dykes Fucking animal style In and out in and out with their does amongst livestock Barnes Amongst livestock, barns, farmhouses filled with Georgia O'Keeffe paintings. Like that is, I guess there's a lot of liberal arts schools. Okay. Like real tiny ones that have like a name, just a one word name.

It's very artsy, cute, small towns. A lot of quaint, yeah. Why do the lesbians gravitate towards there? I guess the liberal arts schools started there, lesbians go to liberal arts schools, and you know they're young they're collegiate and That's how it started okay. Yes like that's the place to be mm-hmm for them You see a lot of painters you like go down the street of like the main strip of a little town And there's just mad fucking painters lesbians are getting less sneaky. I feel I disagree I had the same question where I just don't see straight,

like you see straight up gay guys everywhere. Like you said, they're super flamboyant. Like to the point where like if you talk to them, like when they were born, they like let out a long sigh, like finally I'm away from that vagina. You see a lot of gay guys that don't know they're gay yet too. I don't, do lesbians stay closeted long? Are they the, are they impatient though they impatiently they're pretty impatient

Yeah, usually wait until like they take the SAT and then yeah Or the ACT either or I've seen that there's a video trend like What's your stud name yeah like well West Texas Rex what's your stud name? Yeah, like well West Texas Rex. What's your real name Chloe? Wait, what is a stud name? Stud name is your lesbian name like that you go by Yeah, it can be anything It's just not their birth name typically because it doesn't like evoke masculinity right got it got it. Yeah interesting, okay It's it's and it's like that West Texas Rex is a pretty common lesbian name. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. But I was typing out Western Massachusetts, and I'm like, I've had lukewarm limpies, shorter in length than Western Massachusetts typed out in an iOS text message. It's gotta be the longest region Is that the law are those two words? You said longer than it might be the longest region in America Yeah word wise letter count wise

pry letter count The length of the words Western Massachusetts are longer than some like I've emerged from pools with shorter than Western Massachusetts Size 14 aerial Western Massachusetts. Yeah, my dick has not really been smug. I'm yeah. I'm curious to see I'm maybe exaggerating a little bit, but I'll do it by a micrometer Western Mass I meter Western Mass I hate typing out Massachusetts okay so not okay definitely yeah you haven't but that's

just in the regular note font I'm gonna maybe bump it up I think one more one more not we have I think you up the fun a little bit and we're there I Was just thinking of bold No, that's pretty small dude, but I was exaggerating Who else the band? Stained is from Western, Massachusetts

They're a new metal rock kind of a one-hit wonder right and I think It's been a while. It's been a lot of We're gonna have a few. There's a grouping of them and like Seether, there's a lot of bands just like that. I think they're like a cornier corn. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, butt rock is the genre. Yeah And it got its name how? Radio stations that play nothing but rock Which is kind of like earned like a stigma for being like lame lame radio overplayed rock right mm-hmm It's kind of good. I saw them once in Columbus. You saw stained in Columbus. Yeah like a beer festival How were they?

Who did I see I saw puddle of mud okay, and then I think plain white teas More than really Really stained is inevitable Like plain white tees doesn't make sense to be there Aaron Lewis their singer is crazy now. He posted a picture of he's a Trump guy. He posted Trump 24 on his farm spelled out with dead coyotes. Jesus Christ! Like like 50 dead coyotes. To spell out Trump. He could have just said Trump. Yeah, you would get the point. the point like an extra 12 dead coyotes

Look can you look that up? That's insane like that dude. I would love to hear him pitch that idea Like I picture him like pulling in to his driveway in his pickup truck opens the door bud like hands full out He's like I got an idea Trump 24 Well, here's the thing like people got really mad But it nothing he did was wrong because you're allowed to just go out and freely slaughter Coyotes. Oh my god. Look how many coyotes do because they're pests but like If you're gonna slaughter an animal in mass the lamest thing could do is a craft with them afterwards

Slaughter an animal in mass the lamest thing could do is a craft with them afterwards Yeah, I mean the more fucked up thing is that coyotes when they lose population They just naturally reproduce more so this didn't do anything. There's no population control. He just wanted to do that. Oh my God That's a lot of coyotes that is is, and they're pretty skinny too, so if he wanted to get that bold text, he would probably have to double them up. Yeah, I think so.

Mm-hmm. Would've been cooler if it was italicized. Oh, we should, that would be a cool font, just a coyote. Make every letter. Coyote font. They should've gotten every letter so you could get the font file. Yeah, I wonder if the lesbians will kill coyotes. What? Just a question. What? I guess this is where they kill coyotes. What? Just a question.

What? I guess like this is where they kill coyotes. You think a lesbian? Lesbians definitely would kill a coyote, right? Bludgeon one with a doe. It's so confusing when you shorten dildo to doe. Mm-hmm. Da-da. Because that could be like for bread. Yeah.

Or a female deer. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Is that a common thing or is that a you thing? I just started it. I feel like it works. Dough? Got the dough. Who else? Do you have any other stud names?

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I can't boots. I yeah, what's what's like a masculine thing? Because we've said the gays have taken the most masculine things leather and rope and rope That's true and dicks It's chocolate milk Matt. No, that's boy. That's boy mask Come out as boy mask Boy mask lesbian just They just like fucking bionicle. That's just like Barsel sports man Boy mask yeah, and children obsessed with chicks. Yeah, that's pretty much. Yeah

We need a lesbian. That's why we're acted we do we got to go to Western Mass. I would who else Ulysses f grant He's a Kyle sized Negro League slugger of a home run hitter. He's five seven one fifty five so me twenty pound dumbbells ago You listen about Frank He's like the best Negro League player of all time only five seven the Cuban Giants. I guess I was a team Elizabeth Banks. Okay. I always appreciated her strong facial features as a boy.

And anyone else from Western Mass. John Appleseed. No, he's not real. I went to John Appleseed's Wikipedia and I still don't know if he was real or fake. Wait, there's no way. I was read it all and I'm like, I still- Oh look at his picture! That's not a real man! It's worded as if he's real.

He looks like he's in a Jughead comic. Is he real or not? Born in 1774? Is he a creature of folk or a real man? If he's a real man, I feel bad. He deserves a better legacy. Does he have a controversy? Was he buried somewhere? There! No, that's a monument

So, I don't know if he's real Death death. Well, that's the oh wait Rudy do you know I have no idea. I kind of just assumed I assumed fake. I assumed fake just off the name That's why I feel bad for him. Like if he's real I Still don't know how do you die peacefully? Okay, yeah Harper News Monthly Incorrect saying he died

So most of them are real like how was he turn into a was he famous like what did he like go into bars and? People knew who he was and I don't know I Don't know Is there I need a I need a biopic of him Yeah, that's all I got for the for one know that there was a lot there was a lot of surprisingly no one knew I asked for soul and he was like yeah, they're just out there So he's never tell me something about the people is there stereotypes? There's this underground rapper called DJ Lucas. Okay.

Have you seen him? He has this grating voice, but he's good at rapping. But I assume trashy, like trashy Massachusetts, but I guess not, I guess just queer. I've been scrolling through, that's how you've been spending your time on the internet. I've been on this that that's how you that's how you've been spending your time on the internet. I've been on this a black Indianapolis flag football league

Facebook page Where you could sign up and all their all their their posters scare me because the fonts like real jagged And you know there's some and like dudes will post their bodies and like you could pick them up for your team They post their ball like truck they yeah this guy posted he was that trez bridges oh this rules yeah he's not on a team you know he's trying to get same in the india area this is just flag football yeah so it's harder than you think I guess to get oh my god I would take him the accolades are in Times felon two time first all

Ryker Island 57 shanks and fresh out Tag him so I've been I applied to be in that page Montrez is the fucking man dude yeah pick him up. Please pick up on flag football. That's that but I've just been looking at that It's uh you applied in oh, I joined I clicked to join the group. I I'm also on a waitlist for a group. What's yours? It's short for BNT you So he's in BNT you yeah bad blank Talk on sensor talk on sensor, and I'm an indie football quote unquote ball out.

I had to write a bio like. I got in. And Kyle got in. What you got in? Yeah, Kyle got in. You got into the group. I got into BNTU. I'm on a-

Class of 28. I'm weightless to be. I had to get out. Because you open up Twitter and at the top, it's, you know how it says for you and following? There's a big third one now that just said bad, blank, uncensored. So every time I open Twitter, you just see that at the top

and I'm like, I can't have this. How did they let you in? I just applied. But what'd you write? All they talk about is just getting cheated on. Memes about getting devastated by your partner. Really, so they're like soft guys. No, it's like's like well. I guess it's like meant to be funny, but it's clearly like personal. Yeah They just basically asked am I cooked and it's like their girlfriend

Posted a picture at college or something. They let you in Kyle. That's huge dude. I know but I'm out I don't you left the group. Oh my god That's a good ass group. Mm-hmm. Do you think I could get in? I'm gonna focus on my indie flag football. Yeah, just try to Be a fan or I try out I post myself. Yeah, oh, man, the indie flag footballer There's this one poor Asian guy that keeps on trying to get in and everybody's ignoring him He has the flattest San Francisco 49ers flat brim I've ever seen like it's you've never seen anything flatter

It's it's I don't know how he did it. I don't know if he ironed the brim, but he keeps on trying to Get in and he's not taking no for an answer, and I really respect it, but I'll try to find him Indie flag football ball out What are you gonna put for your accolades? um I Can read plays yeah, I don't know I don't know but like even like the low the fucking posters are blood-dripping And it's like if they the posters scare me the monster bowl It's the monster bowl Sunday, October 13th. Yeah

It's contact flag football too. So I don't know what that means. What do they just? They just wear the full Flag football what is it just bandanas and then there's also the MVB that you can win but I don't know what that is what was it? MVB most valuable baller? I don't know but this this guy keeps on trying to join. He looks like he's gonna show body yeah well speed he posted the same picture twice um there here he is with a flat brim of, of San Francisco. I want

him to get a team, but yeah, there's like free agent, six, four wide receiver. Damn. Yeah, I'm trying to, I'm on a team. We probably have the power. The, their last tournament was called noise killer volume one. That was the flag football noise killer volume one. Yeah. But you can only be a wide receiver or, oh, then, then Their last tournament was called Noise Killer Volume 1. That was the flag football? Noise Killer Volume 1? Yeah, but you can only be a wide receiver or, oh, then they have the one-on-one competition between wide receivers and DBs. Just all wide receivers. They're all wide receivers.

Ten wide receivers, twelve wide receivers. What's the next one going to be called? Snowball. Like Noise Steadily Increasing Volume 2? I don't know. Then there's the Show Out Flag Football. Like, these are like intimidating ass posters $1,500 cash prize

Okay Yeah, but that's my new shit I'm trying to get in Hope you get in dude. Thank you. Thank you new shit speaking of new shit Mook Mook is some some good good new shit. Yeah, dude. Thank you. Mook can't sleep has been very fun. That's good Yeah, you've been pretty passionate about it. You've been like said you got up at like seven. We're starting to work on stuff It's like it's been really funny. I love You you've been showing young pictures of you. Yeah The soccer the soccer picture they called you Lionel mess hall. Yeah, cuz you were fat. Yeah

You somehow like when you're you as a little kid somehow look like a full-grown adult with a degree. Oh Yeah, I know it. Yeah, pull up a picture of you. Yeah, the baseball one. The baseball one's funny, too. Yeah Do you want the soccer show me soccer? Okay Show me soccer and baseball cuz you remember when like you were talking about you being young and Kyle just blurted out fat And I thought it was mean Kyle was right. Yeah, which yeah, it's just a fact you're fat Your fat wasn't fatty was like sphere you were pudgy. Yeah, no no you were kid fat Lionel mess hall look yeah there you are

This the still image Look there you are this the still image Jesus Christ wire Posting a lot of Who's running social? I'm not posting this this is people posting. Oh, they were submitting pictures for my hinge. You're visually inspiring Yeah They were submitting pictures for my hinge. You're visually inspiring. Yeah. What does that mean? I mean, like, yeah. Oh, yeah. One picture of what do they call you?

Chase Gutley, Chase Gutley, Chase Gutley. They may call you Juan Bluto. They put me on. But one one one blow to calorie, Ripken, Junior Mint. Die young. Calorie Ripken Junior Mint die young Eat churros Suzuki You are visually inspired look at that Paylays potato chip

Maradona yeah, they're calling me Diego marinara David more cheese putting pull hose yeah, Oh Mike and Ike pizza that red was engulfing your head proceeding red hairline to drown your eyes it looks like it hurts to touch but not hot but hurts as like an acid would you know it's the colors on your first episode were unreal i I was loving that. Yeah, they're, I mean, they're getting absolute weirdos.

Episode one was a lot of like active fent users. Like I had to call in and be like, I can't sleep because I'm, I think it's the heroin. Probably. Yeah. I didn't know heroin kept you up. Neither did I. I don't think so. I thought you nodded off. Now. Rudy, do you have any young hockey pictures of you so we can make? STD references oh yeah, let me get that for you Sword II ow instead of Gordie how maybe sword II ow

Hockey's get a lot tougher. Yeah, the names. I can't wear some hockey Sydney cross Alex Ovech Alex Ove some hockey Sydney Crosby. Alex Ovechkin. Alex Ovechkin, Sydney Crosby. Al Dix. Al Dix. Don't touch skin Bates Pataglia I don't know where my old photos are Mario Lemieux, that's way harder, and I don't just shock any hockey and then Bobby whore gave me a bull. Yeah, there is there there we go And then I like Wrestling pictures for you Kyle don't act like you know any wrestlers to even do if word play

Don't even act like that don't actually you have anything to even play with Is gable stevenson one it's a big one. Yeah disable stevenson me No, I can't think of any Just that in Kurt Angle. Yeah Chad Gable Ben Askren, I guess we could do wow you could do WWE. Yeah wrestlers, but like for autism Yeah angle I mean the easiest one has already been done Spencer Lee, I know wrestlers Just don't. I'm liking this stone-cold Steve autism. Yeah, that's been

Yeah, that's been done there we go That's been done That's it. That's it dude, uh, I went to medieval times Sunday as I think that's under selling what you did I'm in financial ruin, dude I'm not a wealthy man by any means and I wouldn't even say I have much disposable income. You know I have a nice apartment. But that's pretty much all I can do. I think I spent over a thousand dollars at Medieval Times.

You could have went to, this was like, at least it was like a three day festival. This was dinner. You went to dinner at Medieval Times. Yeah. So first of all, three tickets for the Queen box. That's what it is, right? It's just dinner and a show.

Yes. And it's a really. You spent a thousand dollars. Yes So for the tickets was 450 total the IP Right there VIP royalty Queen's Box not to mention you went on the first NFL Sunday of the year. I sure did yeah mid-game Did you get a suite? I got a box Front row that scene looking like?

Front row on the corner. So I walked in and there was a dude that got there before us with his girlfriend. He was like a Mexican dude. And they had very obviously just got done arguing because he's like trying to pout in medieval times. And as I passed, like me and the people, the two other people I was with were like, we were laughing because it was like, we're here, we're doing it. And this guy, like I overheard him, he's like, what What are they laughing about? He was just pissed off in medieval times?

And then it's not a you can't do them and then there's another guy next to us Had the box next to ours, and he was way into it, but almost too much And we were all rooting for the red knight together, so how do you decide who you root for your seating section? So you just have to root for the red knight knight yeah and that's if he comes out and he just looks like a bitch there was one flabby night and that was the other was on the other side though which would have sucked the blue night but our night looked sick he looked like a real night because he yeah he was and he got killed he got fucking destroyed in he couldn't Joust through the rings he missed the spear throw and then he like the guy next me is really into it

He's like he must be like a longtime fan of red knight because he started booing him Like like you would your football team and then the night comes up to us He's like wait for the joust and winks at us, and then the guy was like Nah, he's fucking sucks. He won't be able to joust and like it's stage like rest. They're regular yeah, and Our night got swept in the joust too, and then he got killed by the green knight who was the villain But then I got knighted myself and then I bought There was some horns of beer like the whole horn. That's cool. And I can't have beer Oh, yeah, that sucks. You can't set it down. You can't hold the horn

So I had they were like it fits a whole bottle of me though So I had a whole bottle of mead of what mead honey fermented honey, right? Is that what it is honey wine? I've never known I had a full bottle of mead and I was blacked out of medieval times. That, the horn and the mead together, $96. And then the meal, they don't give you silverware. So I got the coldest half of chicken. First of all, they try to make it like a real medieval time. Hence the name.

But the meals, they call everything dragon's blank. So like you got tomato soup, they're like, here's some dragon's blood. Just call it tomato soup, they had soup. And then they gave you half a chicken, and they were like, here's a baby dragon that you're eating. And then they gave you a potato, and they're like, it's a dragon's egg, be careful.

Just call them what they are. But you know what you're getting into. This is like, this is for kids on a field trip, young kids. They went through through and they sit They're like if anybody has a birthday raise your hand We'll shout you out, and I was the only table that didn't wasn't celebrating a birthday I was all kids and so yeah, and so the Queen's hand called us out. He was just like just here for fun, huh? You got singled out yeah on the jumbotron no there's no Tron. It's medieval times. Everything's pretty realistic

The worst meal I've ever had just it's dog shit food dog shit and you don't get silverware So I was eating you got a drive so far did you monks just absolute creatures? I want to take you guys now. I'd No, you gotta just try sitting on the couch. Yeah, that's a good point. That's a thing you can do. And you can really have a good time. No. I know, I actually, I admire that you go out and do things,

but I feel like you go out and do things that you know you won't love. No, that is something, I did love that. Okay. Yeah, I did love that. I thought it was a cool, I like doing just things. I went with my hockey team once. Was it fun? No, it was, I mean we were teenagers,

so all we did the whole time was just be like, this is fucking gay. Right, but it's not. But it was cool. It's sick, you gotta go back. It was in Vegas. Yeah, yeah, there's a few. All the Knights went on strike last year because they only make $21 an hour and

they get flung off horses from broken lances. But I guess that's the only place you could do that job. Do you think in the hierarchy of that area of entertainment, do they look down upon Disney on ice? No, no. Or is that the top end? Well, the nights are the rock stars of medieval times because you have to apply, the head knight is who interviews you,

but you get started as a squire and that's who comes out and picks up dog shit, horse shit, I'm sorry, in between the ax. There was a falconer there, a woman falconer. Okay. All right, I was expecting a way different reactioner Okay, all right Yeah, right it was awesome you could have flown to Iceland for the same cost yeah round mm-hmm for sure you can have seen a real life

I could have seen probably a where like a real night was buried or fought right you can have seen Viking Perry It was so sick, and I recommend going They come to your table and take your picture, and then I was like he was they were like you want the picture I was like yeah, and he's like 45 bucks That's gave it sure that's so much money that you wasted not wasted because now I have this experience So what do you get for being knighted do people will call you sir they did there? I have a paper, and I wouldn't mind if you guys start calling me that I Would well I'm knighted so I don't know what to tell you

Don't get pictures um you wear your not that I'm willing to share Would you wear what I wear mm-hmm um So I I called ahead and asked if I could wear armor You called ahead and they said it was frowned upon And so I didn't wear my armor yeah, that's saying a lot, but it would have been so uncomfortable So I'm glad I didn't so I do in 50 pounds of armor Inconveniently holding a horn of beer you can't drink is something I need I wish I could have seen well I think it would have been weird because I think some of the kids would have gone up and wanted like photos

Because they would have thought I was a real night. And the knight's armor isn't that quality. Did kids want photos with you? You were probably like at least celebrity presenting. Why is that? You were in a suite at medieval times. Yeah. Yeah dude. You were 30 years old,

this has to be like a famous celebrity. No, no, no, no, no. Oh, the contrary. No, because it was like, oh, everybody there was there for them because it was their birthday. They were the main character that day. But I would love to take you guys. Well, no.

I think we should. I'll do a fair. I like, I can get down on a Renaissance fair. I can't. Why, man? Can't do do fairs fairs are illusions for simpletons It's like a look at all of these these things and attractions like you can only do none of those are enjoyable and the food is like the biggest appeal but you can only eat how many meals to But you're surrounded by people that are just the worst are happy to be there They're surrounded by good energy a Renaissance fairs maybe but that there you just get shitfaced, and it's funny

That that's the only thing you have to get wasted yeah But like you'll get wasted people like playing a loot or a harp also How can you say you're not into illusions you go home and spend hours in VR. Yes, you you blind yourself. That's real I know it's not What I'm seeing is real places It's I'm at a real place I can say is driving through a town and looking out my window, right? But I'm getting off on that fair. I mean, it's like an illusion of like you think it's like the cheerleader effect You think you see all these colorful attractions. It's like Times Square

Gatlinburg Where you see any EDM show ever no cuz that's a product. We're fucking raging raving don't say we Like now I'm a fair hater. That sucks. A new untold story is sponsored by BetterHelp. Kids are always learning and growing, but as adults sometimes we lose that curiosity. What's something you'd like to learn? Gardening, a new language, or maybe you finally beat your best friend in bowling.

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Manscaped to get ready for kickoff by heading over to manscape.com and use code anus anus for 20% off plus free shipping Trust us. You'll be drafting the real MVP of grooming this season manscaped 20% off What I went to Avril Lavigne this weekend in Detroit you flew to Detroit to see Avril well that wasn't the main purpose But yeah, how was she took too much baking soda before? In Detroit. You flew to Detroit to see Avril. Well that wasn't the main purpose, but yeah. How was she? Took too much baking soda before, so... But we took a party bus there and it was a blast. I'm never- I'm anti-party bus.

Because it's like a pain in your- It's a bar, but you get sick in it, and then you have to go to the bathroom that smells like fucking shit, and you come out feeling sicker. No, it was just like a quick ride to the venue like 30 minutes We just drank and blasted music and it was it was cool Did you listen to Avril Lavigne before you know I never got that listening to the band before the concert? I kind of get that to get in the mood, but now we didn't

You took too much baking soda. It's a little too much baking soda. Did you shit at Levine? I did It's a little too much baking soda. Did you shit at Levine? I did I went to the bathroom twice once to shit once to add CJ ham to a parlay Because I was too embarrassed Catching you yeah, I was adding the most ridiculous parlays What was the best Avril Lavigne song? Wait, what parlays did you make? Complicated. So I had 30. I was going for the golden bag, you know. You made 30 parlays. They all paid out like 10,000. Lost them all. But we're back for more. Yeah, for sure. I'm still chasing. I might have to go a little bit simpler to get some money in the in the bankroll simpler with less legs you mean

more likely odds Like what like now you you know I got some cooked up You inspired me. I got you guys. I got I got one come on. This is the Declaration of Financial Independence whoa? Yeah, you said simple it down this has plus two hundred ninety nine thousand Come on. This is the Declaration of Financial Independence. Whoa. Yeah. You said, simple it down, this has plus 299,000. So, a 35. Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, that's.

Plus 299,000 for those at home. That's, what is that? $35 bet will get you $104,000. Okay. That doesn't add up either, because your odds would be higher than your winnings. I don't know how that works either but it said two nine nine six zero twenty nine thousand but three digits would be two hundred ninety nine two hundred ninety nine okay these are I like these odds anyway so Justin you almost have to take that yeah yeah

declaration of financial independence okay Justin Jefferson anytime Devante Adams anytime easy Darnell Washington anytime that one is going to be tough Alexander Madison anytime yeah, and then Kyle Hamilton plays on the Ravens defense, so you got to get defensive touchdown score I like that. Oh, you know well Impossible according to the sportsbook it is quite literally as close as you can get yeah possible Impossible according to the sportsbook it is quite literally as close as you can get yeah possible Yeah, so if that would be all right that that would be a not even that would be iridescent bag

Is that after that that yeah, that's that's beyond that's like 6d. That's like beyond human comprehension. Yeah exactly Yeah, I just plain bag. I go simple with two legs. I'm going with like the lower half of the human body mingling at a party. Is that the name of the parlay? Yeah. It's just a two-legged. Like it? It's Tony Metcalf. Oh, okay.

Polar to Metcalf. Polar to Metcalf, yeah. I'll take that. I like that, yeah. All right, so what are you rolling with Kyle? I got the the Great British Bake Off. Mm-hmm Who do we got? How do we got this one? I'm confident in Okay The Great British Bake Off is lad mixing one cup flowers two eggs eggs

former Texas A&M stars Mike Evans and Christian Kirk Lad Mixon, one cup, flowers, two eggs. Eggs? Former Texas A&M stars, Mike Evans and Christian Kirk. See, you have to say this one. It makes sense, Lad Mixon, one cup, flowers, two eggs. Vlad McConkey, I think he'll definitely score against the Panthers. Yeah, definitely. Joe Mixon, he's hot as hell. He's the top running back right now.

He'll score against the Bears. Cooper Cup Obviously had 21 targets Week ones a flowers he's due to score next week then Mike Evans and Christian Kirk like that's realistic I'm a That that is super realistic. I have a realistic one as well. What do you got? I have a mooks gay fantasy Okay, nice. It's Foster Browns with a Bear. It's Foster Muro, Browns D to score, and Caleb Williams anytime.

Plus 35,000? No, not too shabby. What is the fantasy? Yeah, what is the fantasy? My gay fantasy to foster Browns with a bear. With a bear. Okay. That makes perfect sense. Dude, my brain, I can't, I'm so risk adverse. Browns

Dude my brain I can't I'm so risk adverse. I won't do a parlay past two Really yeah, so I have like I was thinking of like you're so too late the the The boy that I'm the father of is hiding in a French outhouse That's the Porta Johnson French outhouse that's Laporta Johnson Laporta Johnson yeah that's that's obviously Sam Laporta and Deontay Johnson for the Panthers yeah you can score

yeah so I'm risk-averse with that I got a two-legged. What you got the Indian happy meal toy Yeah, it's Brown McBride AJ Brown Trey McBride Trey McBride it will score this week. I know it. Yeah. Yeah Cut yeah, Kyler will find him Yeah, those these are all looking really really good mm-hmm I Oh, I bet the no sweat every week the no sweat young pits Bryce young and Kyle pits

No chance The no sweat that's the one you bet with no sweat no sweat parlay. That's not my no sweat parlay I'm gonna hit young pits every week young pits every week. You don't worry. No sweat You got to hit the no sweat, and if you like me you'll like the KB evolved What's KB evolved Kyler Bowers? Thought Kyle Bauer was a lot. It's about to get Kyler Bauer Oh, I'm right. Oh my god. I might put it in now Once tea Higgins gets healthy, I'm gonna be a freak making these

Because I was trying to make parlays and T T Higgins like I had to use written into so many Yeah, just cuz it's just so easy cuz I had a I Had the terrain he love your style. Oh, no, that's digs Nick's white tea Bo nicks that might still place that Yeah, and then going off to the UK better bring a windbreaker. That's gusty London There we go, so I Was trying so hard what did you have any stretches? Yeah, Steve's revenge Irwin Spears Ray Ray

He kills two Just one fuck yeah, that's Trenton Irwin for the Bengals Ray Ray Oh he kills two Not just one That's Trenton Irwin for the Bengals He only got one reception in week one but look for Joe Burrow to target different receivers in week two Ty J Spears, four rushes and four receptions in week one And then Ray Ray McLeod, he led the Falcons in targets and receiving yards Steve's Revenge could hit We gotta get some of these in the book man

and then I'm just gonna shake shake shake shake shake. That's Taylor Swift and Parkinson Looking for something with I Like how the the Patriots are playing the Seahawks Why the coaches first year coach to first year coaches? Hawks. Why? The coaches first year coach, two first year coaches, Mike McDonald and Gerard Mayo. I think. Come on. McDonald and Mayo. I think both teams are going to play like buns and they're going to be chicken. So take the under on that. Expect less points. I Mean you got to take the 49ers over 45 I mean, it's right there. It's right fucking there, dude They're called.

By week five, I'm going to be looking at backup safeties for Ciscor touchdowns. Yeah, we blew our load right here. I spent an hour and a half just trying to make anything work. Yours is really impressive, but it's almost too complex. Yeah, it makes sense you got to just go dumb Yeah, I got yeah, I did uh I have two I have two wine walks placed as well I have two wine walk parlays because I have a I Have van downs Gonzalez. That's van Jefferson Joshs and Christian Gonzalez for the Pats defensive touchdown

Yeah, that could happen. Yeah, you got to take that and then I also have car hurts Gonzalez Sprinkle that take both just yeah one's bound to hit one's bound I mean, it's hit before yeah It's a devastating effect yeah, I paid out it. And it's hit hard. Yeah. It's a devastating effect. Yeah, it paid out. Yeah, it'll give you enough money to send you to law school. Yeah. No.

Yeah. Yeah. That's gambling. That's gambling. Yeah, I'm excited. I sold my soul to the devil, but I bought it back for half the price You're so gay yeah

Yeah, it's it's fun. It's fun. Yeah, it's drugs Over-the-counter Uh, over the counter. Are you at my club? Yeah. So you join my club, my gym club. I did. I never see you. I never see you there. Well, you've been once Rudy.

I've been three times. I heard you've been going. Yeah. From people. Uh, people have been telling me you've been talking. Okay. Yeah. What have you noticed anything?

There's some I notice things every time it's humongous Some intimidating dudes are they big or just long they're long long sculptures I'm more afraid of that than like I just in the locker room. They walk with posture. That's so good. It's bad. Oh It's almost like going the opposite way. Yeah. I think they pay women to just run on the treadmill all day for like a full eight hour shift. Women don't get off the treadmill.

If you keep your eyes on them they won't get off. They work out so hard on the treadmill. Have you gone and just stared? No, but like I'll be like on it. I'll see the same women on it for hours. They gotta be in that kind of... You're like in the Truman Show just like looking for inconsistencies?

Right, like it's like a... Whatever time I'm going, there's this one skinny chick who's always running on the treadmill. So I think they pay people to take those up. I haven't gone to the locker room yet because I can't find it. What do you... it's hard to find What do you do with like your bag? I just come just pure me Wow

I heard something about Rudy at the at the bank what how did how how is word traveling about Rudy at the gym? You're good because I heard this I heard he was doing knee push-ups Is that no no there's someone threatening? I don't think it's true that there's a they have a video of me doing knee push-ups. At the gym? They're blackmailing him. Do you have proof? I do.

You have the video of him doing knee push-ups? I don't have the video, I made contact. He was doing three sets of five. If it were, if this were true, it would true because I was going to failure But yeah, this is an issue Do you want to come clean before the video comes out? I don't believe that there is a video I Don't believe but you did do it. I don't I I Plead the fifth. I don't know if I did or didn't I

Did a lot of things a Lot of movements I have I done knee push-ups before yeah, but here's their video of it your excuse for reps What do you mean for you doing knee push-ups for reps because I heard you weren't What you heard this to yeah, what the fuck I need to get in your network of rats If I if I were doing knee push-ups It's because I've already done a hundred and then to still get the motion right I have to do knee push-ups You know this no, I don't I would never resort to knee push-ups. That's cuz you're on the Smith's machine Yeah, I am. Yeah, pussy.

Yeah, that's fine. Anything, September 11th, today. Yeah, I mean, I still think about how horrific of a tragedy it is. Yeah. For, especially the people in the buildings. Definitely. Definitely. Yeah. It's the last place you'd wanna be. That still haunts me, yeah. Yeah. For especially the people in the buildings. Definitely. Definitely.

Yeah. It's the last place you'd wanna be. That still haunts me, yeah. Yeah. I've seen footage, it's the worst. If you're- There's a clip of me that surfaced though. Did I bring this up?

The day before 9-11? It was a few days before. I was sent it by your sister. Okay. It's a VHS tape. It's like oh, it's obviously a one It's nine. It's one of the old tapes that you can has the date in the corner. It's nine nine 01 yes, and it's a one second clip of you Obviously cut out from a longer video yeah, mm-hmm, and you're in I don't know how you got it in Wheeling, West Virginia. I was in Jersey

Okay, that makes a little bit more sense You're in very very traditional African garb. Yeah And you walk and you look right at the camera, and what do you say? I'm from Africa. You don't say it like that. I said it. I'm from Africa Yeah, yeah, my cousin. I don't know why I did that I think we're doing some type of cult my cousin was a big theater girl So she like had a stew plays and she assigned you she assigned me that you had the accent perfect I'm uh yeah, I don't know for really you were in Jersey two days before nine. I watched a lot of little bill

I was like Wasn't From Africa either Yeah, but yeah, that's all it was it's a good clip. I want to find that a week before not Was it a week before you're so close? Yeah? You were so close wow oh? man All right, I think our parlays actually are going gonna be out in a separate video. That'd be great Yeah, get people on people talking about them. Mm-hmm. We are not allowed to

Associate with any sort of Book I just got the text no mention all caps. Yeah, okay until one of these hits Young I think there's a few you like this young pits every week We do a few of these every week until they hit I'll say this right now mine will not hit no Yours well, I think the Great British Bake Off can hit one week I think you just got to put in five dollars every week. It's bound to hit

I think you just got to put in five dollars every week. It's bound to hit Did you think I don't know that's all guys who can score Because they play offense because they're touchdown scorers. They're all like stars for their team lad McConkey is not a star. I think he I think he was this week number one target was he yeah I mean, he's not but kind of his shit. Okay. I apologize. I don't know but I was at medieval times That's right. I didn't watch a lick I did not watch a lick You don't care To you you're more informed you're just you're I think you're destroying every fantasy league. We're in

Yeah, you're in first place Well, we're only in one together. You're in the yak one and oh, I didn't even look at yak one You're winning both. Where'd you even see that? Yeah, and the little sass one. All right, cool That's just because I feel bad like me and mook and rone were the only ones that like knew the Importance of a two quarterback league How important quarterbacks were in that. I think everyone could have figured that out. Sass drafted four tight ends.

And he whooped my ass in week one. You lost to four tight end sass? I'm playing them this week. I'm playing them this week. Nobody cares. Yeah. Yeah, he's starting pits against me. Damn.

Tony Metcalf will, I like that like I think that will hit yeah Anything else Subscribe to our MOOC canceling yeah MOOCs birthday is Monday Sunday Sunday really ooh, what do you want? Nothing subscribe. That's it. That'd be awesome. Yeah. I'll take you out for wings. I'll do, yeah, let's go to output. Yeah. Ooh. Okay. Yeah. And then Rudy and I, when you guys are listening to this,

Rudy and I will be streaming the following day, Yu-Gi-Oh with movie quality costumes. Yes. And we're not, we're gonna beat it. Which I like Yu-Gi-Oh, by the way. What? You wanna come? Yeah. I'll watch.

Oh, yeah. From afar. All right, thanks man. Yes, that'll be Friday when you listen to this tomorrow Yeah Cool, or if you're listening to it Friday. It's today, and if you're listening to this on Thursday I have a hot psychic on mucans. I know this will be good. Yeah, is she gonna read your sweaty ass palms You're so nervous to be around her She's like genuinely like very good-looking. She's young yeah

Psychic it's not the first question you ask if it's somebody that's good-looking Because I part of me thought I heard him mention that she's a younger woman Yeah, I wouldn't associate that as the first trait for a track. She's pretty, oh, is she young? Mm-hmm. Nice, man. All right, four, what was the? 413. 413.

That's a wrap. God bless you.