A New Untold Story - FaceTime Your Aunt - A New Untold Story: Ep. 352

Episode Date: July 13, 2023

FaceTime your aunt or else (shoutout to Aunt Pam). Ads: Gametime - Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code UNTOLD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). BetterHelp - This episode is sponsored by Betterhelp. Go to https://BetterHelp.com and redeem code NEW for 10% off your first month Factor - Head to FACTORMEALS.com/kb50 and use code kb50 to get 50% off.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, A New Untold Story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad-free on Amazon Music. untold story a new untold story it's a fresh big untold story a new untold story a new untold story Episode Number 386 351

Oh both wrong I'm wrong? I prepared for 351 What is it? 352 What did you do last week? Oh that was Boy Story Goodness me

Oh yeah It's all good What did you do last week? Oh, that was Boy Story. Goodness me. Oh, yeah. Goodness gracious. That's where I aired. Yeah, it's all good. Today's episode is brought to you by Game Time. Drake fans, our favorite lover boys coming to town. Dude. I'm not lying.

That's what they're running. No. They're running this. Oh, God. Well, you guys can go to a Drake concert. Get your tickets through Game Time. it's created by fans for fans it's the exclusive ticketing partner of barstool sports uh drake's go see he's touring with 21 drake fans our favorite level boys coming to town where'd you hear that i can't roll through my favorite lover boys coming to town i gotta

check them out it's possible with the game time app the biggest last minute price drops being found on your seats you thought you could never buy I went to a Yankees game over a break and I got tickets through game time I skipped the hassle and I enjoyed the moment you know me download the game time app or go to the website enter the email

redeem code untold for $20 off your first purchase the terms do apply not a big deal though download the game time app or go to gametime.co enter your email go to see my favorite lover boy he's a top he's the goat lover boy dude but like i thought the weekend would be the top lover boy. Yeah, I don't know. Rudy, I guess you kind of have say on this. Why?

Why would I have say on it? You listen to shit like that? Is he like a lover? Is that cool to say? Is it cool? I was just like making fun of it. Like that was like a kind of like a whack thing to call. Yeah.

Is being a lover boy good? Or is people saying people saying that? He calls himself a lover boy good or is people saying are people saying that he i mean he calls himself lover boy his album was certified lover boy that's the funniest thing about drake is that i forgot about i thought that was just a name he is just a funny individual calling him a lover is a lover boy a red flag or a green flag to women i think in his brain he's like i'm a green flag because he loves you but by doing that and sort of like self it's kind of giving yourself the title of being a green flag you are inherently right you know what i know he's just a funny fucking person guarantee you drake thinks he's the best kisser on earth yes like pound for pound and i think probably and and and he probably proves it

to his boys he's just like i swear to god like come fucking kiss me yeah like he's the kind of guy that would text a girl that he very badly wants to fuck and then disregard and he's like i just want to talk i want to get to know you i just want to talk we've been we've been making these jokes about drake for like 12 years that's how relevant he is. I was thinking about. We never took a year off from making fun of Drake. There's never been a break. But also loving his music. Yeah, it's amazing.

I shoplifted from Old Navy and I kind of felt good. Did you just have to, how long ago? Like a couple of days ago. So whack, so weird. Wait, what were you weird what were you doing i got the itch i was like this is this i i want to prove myself that i could do it what were you doing an old baby i'm kidding i'm kidding but i got the itch and i was like i definitely could if i wanted to i can't steal never will um if i sound woozy i just got back from the doctors i had to give blood and i passed out no yeah the rings i started getting like like the corners of my eyes like started getting like a If I sound woozy, I just got back from the doctors. I had to give blood and I passed out. No. Yeah. The rings.

I started getting like the corners of my eyes like started getting like a vignette. It was like getting dark and I just conked out and I woke up and my nurse was just waving like a dum-dum in front of my face. And I came to. Why were you giving blood for the gastro? Doc thinks I have Crohn's, dude. I thought I think so too you think i have yeah i've always thought why didn't you i'm glad i can finally yeah why did you tell me dude

i'm gonna look at the dis oh yeah i think you have crones i'm glad yeah it kind of sucks wait off your that or my colon is spastic as hell his words not mine so what's next wait for the results of the crones colonoscopy no no i thought i was gonna have to get a colonoscopy um but no so you fully passed out yeah for how long seconds seconds just that and then i woke up just recovered in sweat could have been days i don't know i was out yeah um but right before there too i was like right before she put the needle on me to talk i was talking such a big game. I was kind of being flirtatious.

Was she a person of color? Yeah. Yeah. She's a black nurse. But when it's, it's so much better. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Um, yeah. She looked at my, like my tattoos and she was just like, this isn't going to bother you. I was like, my tickle passed out. It might. But then like, uh, how quickly did you pass out a damn near immediately i thought that was like the prick oh like an old urban legend that people got lightheaded and passed nope i passed right out that's the noise i made i think yeah dude and then she came to and i

i came to and she had gave me a lollipop and uh i tried to like play it off i was like that was crazy like this never happens i've never done that before i was like that was fucking sick yeah did something go wrong no yeah dude so i don't know what's happening but it's kind of ironic because like when i first started at barstool jeff d lowe pitched us a series they were trying to do right before covid um of where we had to pitch a movie to like an a-list celebrity and i think we had like john ham my god and we decided it was it was a bigger name than john it was bigger than john who we were pitching to it was like maybe simon no that's bigger than john it was you think simon cowles bigger than John Hamm who we were pitching to. It was like maybe Simon Cowell. No. That's a bigger than John Hamm? No, it was.

Wait, you think Simon Cowell's bigger than John Hamm? He might be. Yeah. But he doesn't make movies. It was like Mel Gibson or someone along those. Tom Hanks, maybe? No, it was like it was somebody bigger than John Hamm and Simon Cowell. That like that that tier there

one bruce willis no um call jeff now it was bruce willis no i just remembered you call jeff now ah i'm kind of nervous i am too he doesn't like gags like that he doesn't like it's not a gag i guess it's not but um but the point of the story is it's it was a show for barstool people to pitch their movies to these celebrities yeah any guest that like uh lights camera got and we had john ham and we were pitching him a claymation movie called osmosis crones and you made you made the whole trailer well yeah because i pitched as a claymation. And then you and I went up to Walmart to get clay. And that was the first time I ever experienced you not being able to use your hands.

I can't use my hands. I was just like, all right, you just make circles, like spheres. Yeah, I'll make it snakes. It's so hard for me to use my hands, like skill-wise. Yeah. And we have it. Yeah, do you have the trailer still? I was looking, like, wise. Yeah. And we have it. We may. Yeah. Do you have the trailer still? I was looking like through.

I forget the premise. I think it was like a guy, a villain. He was a villain. He would go in your asshole and give you Crohn's disease. Yeah. Yes. Oh my God.

I have 11 seconds of it. That's all we need. He like yeah dude oh dude it has no sound so i don't know why i'm putting it up but it's just like there's a guy getting his asshole spread and we're going to pitch this to like an a-list celebrity no i don't think that would have went well you're you in the last frame the reflection reflection of the computer. The reflection. I tried to turn the camera before you saw that, man. But there he was. Yeah, but then see, for making fun of Crones, look what happens. I might have Crones.

Is there a ribbon for that? Like congrats? No, like their own, like, is there a podcast? Is there a Crones podcast that I can listen to? They have a Crohn's Awareness Week. If you have Crohn's, you make it known. The people are very proud. Nobody's hiding their Crohn's.

They're always doing paragraphs on Facebook. They have a ribbon. Yes! Purple ribbon. Yeah, they probably did it themselves. You can't make your own ribbon for your own disorder. Or you can. Yeah your own ribbon for your own disorder or you can yeah i guess uh kyle i don't want to put you on the spot or anything but i uh i want you to react to these um i got all of the best polish memes and i want you to just react and see

I want to know if they're true or not so maybe you can look through I got so shamed at the family 4th of July party so I just searched best Polish memes here we'll put it right there Kyle maybe just turn your head okay

this one says Biden if he was Polish. He says, my name is Biden and I'm Polish. Yay or nay? This will be... I don't... It's just... There's nothing to it. Nothing to it.

So let's go to this one. When someone says, Babiska's pierogi are not good. I get where that would be the start of a joke yeah oh she has a gun yeah that's good okay uh what about this one bye daddy i'm leaving for my date tonight be careful those polish boys only care about one thing sex no is that one good yeah that's hilarious that's fucking hilarious if you know if you know polish i wouldn't get it none of us would get it at all regular priest

he's the poly oh yeah the Polish priest has a gun is that how it is oh yeah don't threaten you mid-sermon he's got a kimbo going god damn

you know you love Poland when you start seeing the Polish eagle everywhere oh yeah yeah you ever see it anyway yeah see it anywhere?

See it on my flags. Polish, all their memes are tiny. Everyone is Irish on St. Patrick's Day. Except the Polish. We're still Polish. Goddamn. Typical Polish people. Oh yeah, we are dumb as rocks we will beat you to a bloody pulp you say it to our face

when you meet someone for the first time and discover they are polish yeah yeah i actually went to a soccer game in Warsaw couldn't see a thing I was sitting behind a bunch of poles didn't get to watch the game Polish people

inventing new names. Yeah, just shitting out Zs and Cs. Guilty. Like your name. Kyle. That was the last one. Yeah, I appreciated that. I'm sure Polish fans would appreciate that.

I mean, if you're not Polish, I'm sure you could just fast forward through that. Yeah. Because you wouldn't understand a single thing. Oh, man. How was break? You were vacationing fast forward through that. Yeah. Because you wouldn't understand a single thing. Oh, man. How's break? You were a vacationing. A lot happened. Yeah.

Nothing noteworthy to talk about. Besides what happened? My uncle and grandma's podcast. That was like 60% of the 4th of July party. What do you mean they played it so my uncle put together this trivia game where it was all based on the podcast wait so he went to a family party and brought a trivia game and the questions pertained it was like on a big display with videos production awards starbucks gift cards if you got it right it was pretty much just a giant

like outing of people who didn't actually listen to the podcast but they did a live podcast every everybody in your family creates content my god it's called bobo knows music where they dissect different artists and songs wait they changed the name this is their second one they have two and he puts in so much editing work he brought trivia to a family 4th of July party yes how'd you do I fucking I I was out ashamed

mad at you for I was so upset I was so upset it's pretty good Bobo knows Bobo knows music. I got some clips. My grandma I guess that was her nickname. I think it was just Bo because her last name

began with those two letters. Jeffrey Dahmer. Jeffrey Dahmer. You've given her like who would you want to fuck out of your grandma? Jeffrey Dahmer Hitler or Bin Laden. Think about all this stuff.

You're in a room. You're eating dinner. Hitler, Hitler. She kills it with the responses. Hitler, Hitler. You strayed from the church. Isn't that true? Yes.

You strayed from the church. This is one of the trivia questions. Why did Bobo stray from the church, isn't that true? You said you strayed from the church. This is one of the trivia questions. Why did Bobo stray from the church? Please, no. Yeah. When was the last time you went to a Sunday Mass? Right after they announced the pedophile. I was definitely impressed.

How old are you? 85. I've been thinking you're 84 for like 10 years now. Comfortably not. Because I think when you're a child you're given all this BS from your family you can be anything you want you're right

you can grow up and you can be president of the United States but that doesn't happen very often 90% of the time it just doesn't so you often. 90% of the time. It just doesn't. So you grow up. She's right.

90% of the time. Do you think Greg and I, do you think if you were to ask us in our twenties, we wanted to work in the Alaska pipeline. We wanted to be chimney sweeps, detectives. And here we are now driving. We're doing over.

I'm delivering Taco Bell to apartment complexes. Let me just say this. Why did you choose Creed? Kyle was my inspiration. You? Kyle. Kyle. I watched him, I think, on one of his podcasts.

He was going to Florida with Nick. was it the anus boys or yeah just a black t-shirt and yeah so yeah there's some clips but they he did trivia and did everybody else do well yeah everyone like listens to it they like love the podcast does your whole family listen to this probably yeah i think it's it's a problem that makes me really nervous but your entire family is now just in content everyone every single sister's dropping blogs yeah oh yeah um she addressed the uh brgs today no way i mean today today what do you mean yeah how Today. What do you mean? Yeah. How are you seeing this?

What the fuck? Are you on her newsletter? Unsubscribe. I'm trying to help her. Yeah. Just trying to boost numbers. But she said she was shocked to see hundreds and hundreds of new subscribers. My dopamine levels were off.

She's not really beating the she's you allegations. No. Yeah. she's not really beating the she's you allegations is she no yeah everyone my nephew uh freaked out because he forgot the alphabet the abcs i had to talk him off the ledge what are you talking about forgot the abc i assume your nephew was like 12 now he's like three you freaked out though yeah i did calm down. How'd you calm him down? I said, all right, bro. Calm down. Wait, did you code switch for your black nephew?

No, I said, I was talking white. I was like, all right, bro. Calm down. Everything's fucking good here. It's just Kyle. Listen, listen man not one pessimistic question relax talking's useless very worthless x-men yoshi zelda now you remember the abc wait say that again all right bro calm down everything's fucking good here it's just kyle

listen man not one pessimistic question relax talking's useless very worthless x-men yoshi zelda whom he loves wow man and you just did that off the dome yeah but then yeah i remembered it from you remembered it now and that did that calm? Did he recite it back? Yeah. He knows it now. It's really nice of you. I'll never forget. It's really nice of you, man. What did you do over break? Went to a Yankees game, walked around, bought a new chess board.

Went to Coney Island with Mook, my partner and Rudy. I was wondering if you were going to gonna say and of course you said partner dude i'm tired of people you can say partner the allegation what are you talking about you could say partner and it could mean a girl yeah so i'm here on out i'm assuming if somebody says partner i'm uh i'm assuming it's a heterosexual relationship so if it's the gayest guys like yeah i went back to my partner okay she got big tits start playing partner have big fucking tits it's just me and my partner sounds hot

fucking okay so you and your real girlfriend which is real and now the more i say it the more it sounds fake i went to coney island to watch the hot dog eating contest me mook partner ken jack got there chestnut walks out everybody goes crazy starts pouring down rain so we go to this bar called freak bar yes coney island has like the original freak shows and like in America apparently and we went to like the OG freak show it's been running for like a hundred years or something like that and it was yeah we walk in grab a beer and there's this guy there with dreadlocks and face paint and mooks like what time you guys? And the guy's like, what? Wasn't in the freak show.

I mean, he could have been in the freak show. Jesus Christ. He probably wanted to hear that. He probably was so stoked to hear that. Yeah, he was part of the culture. But we went up to the freak show. And there's a club in New York City called The Box that I've been to. And it's like, you see the extensive, you see the absolute limits of a man's asshole they were like stapling their pussies there was a girl that would like i was with maresh uh she would put like this gun in

her cooch and spray the gun and like but the hit right in between the eyes knocked his gem off dude i tackled him i thought she had there was i thought there was a scope on the gun i thought there was a laser on the gun um but it was just him but i it was he called it click liquid because it was it was clit liquid and he got hit in the face and it was like the box was like 10 grand for a table we went with a big group the 15 free show on coney island was way more disgusting. A group of a thousand? No. I didn't pay anything. But the freak show on Coney Island significantly more disgusting and those

guys were doing it for the love of the game. It was gross. The first guy came out and he took out a drill, a long ass drill bit, drilled it into his fucking nose, came out all bloody, he licked it off, did the other nose and then he had eight more shows that day and then like we called the first show the holes like grow back no idea what he's doing he just he was bloodied up it was nuts and he like turned his head so it wasn't like an illusion you just saw what happened these guys just hurt themselves

i was hoping to see like a bearded lady or a fat fat man i don't see but he um he came out and then like they brought out like this human pin cushion and they were just stabbing themselves through the cheeks and was like just show me like a lizard boy or something yeah a lizard boy like a mermaid. Like someone who lives in like the water. They were just hurting themselves on stage. Yeah. Show me somebody that lives in the water. They used to have. They don't even need to be in it.

They can just come out and be like, hey, what's up? I live in the water. And everybody's like, whoa. Right. Freak. Yeah. Get out of here. That's freaky.

But it was. What were you doing? Were you drinking? Did you do green tea shots? We did green tea. Why would you? Why would you consume that? I don't know. What do you drink? I'm a? Did you do green tea shots? We did green tea. Why would you consume that? I don't know. What do you drink?

I'm a Jameson guy. But we did. That is green tea shots. Jameson? That's the main ingredient. Yeah. Yeah, but it tastes wildly different. He's a straight JMO.

Yeah, I'm a JMO guy. Okay. But we did Henny shots before we left. 9 a.m. Henny's. Yeah. That was beautiful. The Henny you got me for my birthday. You're welcome. Yes, thank you. the henny you got me for my birthday you're welcome yes thank you it got me it got me toasty yeah and then i i enjoyed the freak show i was more enamored by

the freak show that was happening on the boardwalk that was that those were dude every dude was just five two uh very gelled up and they were oh they were just making out. Every dude was making out with a chick. Constantly. It was like Walking Dead Puerto Rico. That kind of thing. Oh, dude. If they were Latin, then 5'2 is decent. And they always pull. And they were selling like stray beers

and it was that. Stray beers. Just single cans. Rolled away. Every dude was just like cerveza cerveza yeah it was it was awesome it was a good day yeah um today's episode is brought to you is sponsored by better help show sponsored by better help Kyle I'm sure you felt uncertain

about where you're going in life always what your right path is trial and error I mean you work you work you break your back in content. And it's really hard work. I work back at the gym. Squatting 365 with no belt. Your parents, your family, everybody in your family sees that and says, oh, I can do that.

That's got to be devastating. And they put more effort into me. Much more. Sometimes we're faced with tough choices. The path forward isn't always clear. So whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships anything else therapy helps you stay connected with what you really want helps you navigate life you move forward with confidence and excitement trusting yourself to make decisions

to align with your values is like anything the more you practice it the easier it gets just fill out a brief questionnaire you'll get matched with a licensed therapist you could switch therapists at any time no charge which is awesome for more balance uh with better help uh you'll get matched with a licensed therapist you could switch therapists anytime no charge which is awesome for more balance uh with better help uh you'll find more balance visit better help.com slash new any w today to get 10 off your first month that's better help help.com slash new episode sponsored by better help um speaking of five two oh do we need more time no we're good uh speaking of five two we spent our day with a five one man yesterday yeah and when i saw him i was a little both and we both came to the same conclusion we were with monkey boy yesterday the real the real monkey boy he flew up the documentary we're making barstool shelled out, flew him up, put him in a hotel.

Damn. We're preparing for this 5-1 guy. And I was like, I was like hoping I wouldn't crack, like laugh when he walked in. We're mic'd up. And Michelangelo, who's directing, was like, I don't want you guys to see him until I'm filming. I want your first impressions to be on camera. He's artsy like that. And so we're sitting in there and he's like, I'm filming. I want your first impressions to be on camera. He's artsy like that. And so we're sitting in there and he's like, I'm going to go get him.

And Kyle looks at me and he's like, what if I fucking laugh? I'm just like, that would be the most disrespectful thing. Like him walking. Five, seven guys love when guys are like five one. Oh yeah. And he walked in to the room. He was a tall five one. He was a very tall five one. That wasn't in to the room. He was a tall 5'1". He was a very tall 5'1".

That wasn't even like the first identifier about it. No. And he was every bit 5'1", but he was like leggy. And like, yeah, he was. He was a tall shot glass of water. He was. It was weird because he's incredibly short. But it didn't come across that way.

It didn't come across that way. And I don't know how he did it. But we spent all day with him yesterday. Yeah. It went very well. Yeah. He's a good guy. He's funny.

It's going to be an interesting story. Mm-hmm. How has he aged? Like, is he... I guess you haven't seen his original face. I'm an idiot. Yeah. Yeah, I haven't seen his original face, but he's in his 50s.

He's in his 50s. He looks good. He looks good? He's in his 50s. Hopefully his body has held up. We're asking him to do some things. We have a game that he's making his return at his first return. Yeah. And what day is that? The

27th, 28th, maybe up in Nashua. We should get the day. We should get the exact day because if you guys want listening, if you're close to Nashuaua like boston area come out and be in the documentary yeah it'll be and we the more people the better it is obviously for the video the more fans what does this guy do now he works uh i don't know i should know i don't know. Hmm. I never asked. Never. Just laughing.

He's just in Florida. He's in Florida. I think he's an IT guy. Got it. Itty tiny. No, he's a regular one. I think it's the 28th. I think it's 28th.

28th is Friday. 29th is Saturday. I think it's 29th. I think it's 28th. Yeah. No, it's 29th. 28th is Friday. 29th is Saturday. I think it's 29th. I think it's 28th. Yeah. No, it's 29th. 29th. July 29th.

Mark that down. Nashua. The Nashua Pride. If you want to meet Chris Clemmer, go do that. Yeah, I'm really excited about that. But he was... We'll see how... Yeah, we should have a trailer coming out soon.

Rudy. this past week kyle went to the beach i spent some time with mook and my partner you didn't leave your desk yeah i just oh yeah i just streamed for a whole week and got fat yeah i was getting i was getting fat before that but that was the final blow. So wait a minute. But like you were getting Australian. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You look very.

Yeah. You say that every time he looks very Australian, but cool. Your diet didn't change, though. Like and it's not like you're running a lot or. I think it was more just like feeling fat. You don't look different. No. I mean, I've've is the scale reading

something different i got i finally got over two bills i was flirting with it for a long time whoa um nice thanks uh but it was more so just like i felt mentally like fat like sitting in front of my computer five days in a row minimum eight hours that's more work to me that's way harder than like hiking for eight hours it's a different kind of having to interact and perform yeah yeah i convinced you to play doki doki literature club holy fucking shit you play doki doki literature club yes and how did it go it was a kyle how do you think it went not well be nice sorry no offense do you know anything about it no yeah what is it it's uh japanese dating sim it's under the guise of a japanese dating disguise as a japanese dating sim so i knew there was going to be some like a computer game it's like a computer game but

it's technically a visual novel i had to read for a minute i thought nick just picked a game to make me read for two and a half hours reading and crazily my reading you gotta read goblet of fire but that's another yeah kyle keeps recommending just the fourth book of the harry potter so yeah you gotta read goblet of fire i had it read to me i had to read to you probably forgot yeah start there and then see how it is no but i read super well but But anyways, it takes like a twist and becomes so fucking dark. And then it like breaks the fourth wall.

All the girls you date kill themselves. They end up killing themselves. Oh, real? Yeah. Like, really? Yeah. Well, it's a video game.

But like they... Also, that would be like the world's worst brag. Just like all the girls I've dated have killed themselves. Yeah. It would kind of be a flex. You are the man yeah that was the initial pitch for good luck chuck yeah i just love so hard

like i think one would be like oh tragic but two would be extremely tragic three would be i i must have some type of impact yes there's something i'm bringing to the table uh but it hits you like a ton of bricks because up until that point what are you how are you what's the gameplay like what are you doing you're literally just reading and moving through scenes you're just a kid with a best friend who's a girl you don't really do anything she convinces you to join a literature club with three super hot anime chicks what choices do you get to make you get to make choices in regards to like one you can go hang out and help this other girl with the club like make banners or something or you can go check in on your best friend who's been kind of acting weird um so there's like little differences you can choose but it beginning

is just straight up like an hour and a half really like slow slow dating japanese girls and it's like upbeat music like everything's good like utopic japanese yeah anime and then the one girl kills herself and it hits you like a fucking ton of bricks but then the game like acts like it crashes yes and then one girl's aware she's in a game and so she'll go into the game files and delete the other girls yes oh my god but then spooky this is where it got where it gets really fucking nuts and how did that wait first off how did they show the suicide the rudy walked into the girl's room and she was hanging she's hanging from the ceiling yeah that is it's spooky yeah it was wild and then but the crazy thing is at the end the one girl like figures out she's in a game starts deleting the other

characters files and then they have something in the game that knows if you're live streaming and it's like you're probably recording this right now oh and she said say hi to your chat she says hi to the chat and everyone and then i called nick and i was like dude like what the fuck is this and he was like i can't be associated with this and he hung up when the game was smaller they used to have like that character the girl she would come into your twitch chat and talk to you is she hot yeah i figured so how are you gonna keep playing or what i beat it and then what you have to do to beat the game is you have to she just you're in this like astral plane with her just she loves you she's like just a psycho girlfriend that's like i love you we're gonna go on forever just her talking to you until you go into like a menu in the game and then delete her game her character file like she did to the other that's gonna destroy some men yeah lonely men it it i think

part of it was the fact that i was trapped in a room for 10 hours only staring at the screen but it was like a true that was the first thing i got you to play on and then you had a whole week of gaming after that yeah and um i'm just like i'm like honestly part of me is still convinced that she's like in my computer somewhere so we had a we had a um it was wild though we had a meeting today about pitching content and stuff and how like the chicago office they want to be live like 12 hours we're in the live era we're in the live era of content and so i'm going to get big t to play it oh my god i want him to play it so bad he will probably say good when he sees that girl yeah he definitely will maybe i'll get brandon then no one of the two they both would be very good for that but do you think you could be a streamer

full-time yeah you could yeah i could no way it was tricky like you just have to get better at like organizing your time so that but when i i'll say this it is it does do some wild shit to like your dopamine levels like in the mornings i would try to go outside and just sit outside outside hits so fucking good when you're streaming for yeah i can imagine hours a day going outside was a trip um but like 10 hours a day stream like that's these like oh it's like creating like the like the richest people in ever social media it's crazy and but they're stuck in this vortex of having to stream how many hours a day did the top ones do yeah like that kai guy what is uh kai senat senate yeah he doesn't do quite it like there's other guys that are just real wild with it but

do they take days off or like yeah fake okay but rarely and when they do when they do it's like a deal it probably affects how you socialize outside of streaming well when your brain is constantly on that mode yeah they basically talking to somebody without a response like you're talking to a group of people at all times which is weird they also kind of have a bunch of streamer friends and their hangout sessions are just live and they just like go into like yeah that's not good no but i mean it it is fucking weird and it like eventually like you just can't do it forever like this dude tfue just quit streaming that is the funniest clip i've ever seen him crying is like cried he cried and it's funny because like he's like a top fortnite player or something he blew up on fortnite but then he was

doing a bunch of different shit and then but he quit and he's like i just can't do this like i need a break i need to reset he starts like crying he's like fucking like i play video games for like eight hours a day like i don't have time i don't have time he's like i don't have time to like do shit everyone crushed him for that comment because dude but that's true it's true both are true like it's hard to feel sympathy yeah because he's so rich but his life i believe he's miserable streamer is the number one job kids want now or that or youtuber yeah which is kind of one in the same now yeah but if you're once you're doing it it is hard work and like it's just mentally super taxing but at the end of the day when you look at it objectively all you're doing is playing eight video games for eight hours which is a lot what a lot of people do to a lesser degree for like a

leisure activity video games are like your one escape and now that you've taken that like when when i'm done from like a long day of work i like to i'll go play a video game right like you're have a long day playing video games what the fuck do you do to play a different video game yeah right you don't get the same dopamine as when you're playing alone because you're performing and it's probably more adrenaline and anxiety like when i sing in the shower it's the. Like when I sing in the shower, it's the best. But when I sing in front of a huge crowd on a stage, it's I'm not enjoying that because I'm like, I have to impress these people. That's the only thing on my right. Yeah. Overall, it made me realize that being a full time streamer is something I probably will never do.

I wonder what your body would look like after a month. Man, rice gum is good looking. look like after a month man rice gum is good looking dude and one thing i can think about whenever i hear him talk is like he's so stuffy blow your nose blow your nose he's the stuffiest guy but yeah it was nutty it was fun though i was uh walking in brooklyn today and wow. What you seeing? In Williamsburg. Talk to me. I just like so many, not even in a derogatory way, but yeah. Like so many like

people dressed in like ten like ten different cultures and centuries and classes of buffoon. But they're also covered in paint. Covered in paint. I saw a bunch of people covered in paint. Notebook, doodle tattoos all over. Tote bag.

Shades of green that went extinct in the 80s. I saw like a It has to be exhausting to be done. There was like nuns with armpit hair. There was like farmers with tap dancing shoes and like Barney Christmas socks. It's like you took every It was so odd. It's like you take every character in the world and their clothing and you

like hit shuffle. It's like those books that had three different, I didn't know. I've heard the stereotype and I don't, I saw it was like, wow. Yeah. But like that is all so thought through.

It was all a very like intentional attempt to be something. And it's crazy because Brooklyn used to just be, that's where Jay Z's from. He used to be dangerous. And now the biggest threat in Brooklyn is getting bit by vampire weekend yeah yeah like they make you look like you sailed for chote and i thought you were like a crazy dress yeah no yeah no you yeah you look like at like a that you were dressed like the ups man in brooklyn yeah they're like look at their slut there's there's certain people too

you when they walk you're like oh you think this is like the runway yeah and they're wearing cigarettes not smoking them and all of them want to be photographed so yeah and um they're leaning up against a tree or like a fucking door frame you're not comfortable and they're laying up against a tree or like a fucking doorframe. You're not comfortable. And they're like super skinny, but also flabby. Skinny fat. No, like I know a skinny fat. They're like people who are like skin and bones, but like saggy, like fat. Yeah. I guess.

They're like deteriorating. Yeah. Yeah. It's a trip. It was kind of cool. It's nice. But it would just be so every time I go there,'m so self-conscious of like like if i have a barstool logo on me that might as well be a swastika over there oh yeah oh yeah they'll shoot you with a with like a bazooka or they're probably

they probably all have slingshots yeah like in their back pocket yeah yeah they launch a trebuchet from above the sweet green yeah i saw these i'll fall into like a spike pit covered by leaves i did see the longest armpit hair on i'm not even like touching the controversy but it was she had to like start growing it as soon as Trump got elected. It never trimmed. It looked like she was smuggling Maine Coons. It was like Tahir. Really? Yeah. I want to go back because it was like an exhibit.

It is. Because the whole goal of them is to look like they're not trying. But it takes so much effort. Exactly. Exactly. look like they're not trying but it takes so clearly clearly exactly exactly like whenever you see those influencer tiktoks approach people in brooklyn they're wearing the most thought through cult like cultivated fit and then they they're like what you're wearing today he's like oh this is just sort of like a casual fit yeah i just threw it on there's nothing casual about wearing like leather like leather shorts yeah with you can't sandals you can't throw on leather

yeah and 42 pieces of jewelry so many like handcrafted skull jewelry rings yeah exactly they they have like somehow they have like almost like a hair tie thing that like pinches you know like over their eyebrows and it's like chrome you know what i mean like it's like the most insane thing i was like keeping track there's a guy with like very loose fitting dress pants like he was at a high school banquet but then like the top was like a skin tight limited to blouse i don't know what's going on that's what it's crazy dude i like look at some of them like where are your parents i turned real old they're working they're working yeah they're working hard making a ton of money 73 doing double yeah darth vader gets dressed faster than them and he has

way more components that has to go into that fit and he his fit would get clowned over there big time it's too cohesive that's the one thing that i have not seen yet that i'm actually kind of now that i'm thinking about it looking for that I think will happen is someone's going to be like, capes are up next. And they're going to wear a fucking cape. Capes are, yeah. No, I'm surprised there isn't. Yeah. I have a future bet on you wearing a skirt to the office.

You've been saying this for years. I've been saying this since I met you. We always slam, we slam the under. We slam the under. I mean, part of me now just is like may as well. Like, you know what I mean? Like if you're saying that, I may as well just. But now that I look at you, you look like one of normal compared to what I saw.

Yeah. You look normal. I mean, it depends on what it used to be like a freak. Thanks. Are you going to what's your Chicago plans? Fashion wise? Oh, yeah. Oh, probably going to be a lot of like regular dressed dudes like we're in. Yeah. I feel like it's going to be a lot of regular dressed dudes wearing sports shirts.

Yeah, we're... Mook is going to be the best dressed. People are going to be like, people are going to go up to Mook and be like, where'd you get that? Yeah. They're going to do that to all of us, even you. Yeah. The one who looks most Chicago is Kyle.

They're going to think you run a CrossFit gym. No, you look Chicago. You're dressed for it. Yeah. I'm excited to not have to wear black. I'm if i i'm excited just to like wear whatever i normally wear and people are just going to be blown away or you're going to get called a gaysler yeah that's how you know you're really dressing and you hit 180 and so like you go to chicago you're gonna be the skinniest guy there big time in the whole that whole area it's a thick it's a thick place they keep

them thick they're fellas i'm getting really excited for it me too today mook just got a place you sent us a picture of a potential place and it was it was we had to say no what did you call it it was a breakfast in bed is the only option because your bed was pretty much you could like be lying down in the supine position and like check the microwave i would argue that that that apartment wasn't big enough for breakfast it looked like a swedish jail cell yeah yeah yeah it was like under 180 square feet and a window pointing to nothing but i i got a good place you found a new place but what was the how'd you what was the advertisement for this new place the the advertisement i showed uh nick this and i told you it just said

location location location in all caps with no pictures no photos no photos and like they didn't even say good location they're just saying it is one. Yeah, pretty much. You got to factor that in. Can't stress it enough. You got to stress like, listen, man, this place exists. So you have photos of it? I have a video of it.

Oh, that's better. I didn't have photos. It's a smaller place. No, it's good. It's in a building. It's a cool neighborhood. That's awesome. It's in a building. I have four walls.'s in a building. It's a cool neighborhood. That's awesome. That's good. It's in a building. I have four walls.

I have a microwave and it should be big enough. I'm pumped. I'm pumped. And you're going to be in an area where you'll be able to hit clubs too, right? Yeah. I'm like a five minute walk from the comedy club I want to work at. Oh, comedy clubs. Yeah.

And I have a rooftop as well. Oh, hell yeah. That's good. Yeah. Wait, did the appliances end at microwave? Yeah. That's when you started i have a fridge i don't have washer dryer okay i have like a community washer drying which

is fine stove it's fine you have a stove okay yeah yeah uh i'll send you the bathtub i don't have a bathtub it's fun in the video they didn't show the toilet and i was like does this place have a toilet you had to ask yeah i had to ask i had to confirm dude that would be so funny if like it had everything except a toilet except a shitter just like yeah check you would be all right with that I could figure it out would you how long could you live in an apartment without a toilet um I mean what does it have like a like a community toilet or no you'd have to go to like a Starbucks or something oh I've been doing that in my Jersey City place why so my uh my roommate called me one day and said hey my girlfriend's moving in for the summer oh so i've just been living with him

and his girlfriend were you afraid to shit in front of his girlfriend he kind of you trying to fuck her i mean it's just like awkward it's like i don't want to spend too much time in there their the room is so close to it so i've been shitting at a coffee shop i've just been buying cold brews and putting them in my fridge just so I can use their shitter milk yeah so I can survive with no toilet yeah you gotta just shit

in your place man you're paying for it yeah but I gotta make sure she's comfortable you know I keep on assuming everybody has crones and it's always an emergency I have something we'll figure it out what like i shit so often i gotta come clean i go to the bathroom to fart or i go to the bathroom just to wipe

sometimes i'm also itchy you're you've been itchy for since i've known you yeah i don't i hate talking about it but it's such a burden at night get up a day got one. Couldn't get it on. What do you got to say? I'm low-key the biggest stoner you'll ever meet. You started the stizzies. I started the stizzies. Good luck, soldier. I love them,

but I think I got ripped off. I paid $40 for one. Yeah. I did it with a smile on my God. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I did it with like a smile on my face. You got it in the little jar.

Yeah. Yeah. You're supposed to get, they're supposed to come with all of the Stizzy's, all six of them. I got one Stizzy. That happened to me in 10th grade. Yeah.

You're supposed to check. Dude, I love just going like, you know me, like long day work, just with quick toke. And then just like, I'm vibe thorough and aqueous transmission by Incubus loop.

That was the beginning of the song. You guys know. It's like a sitar. And then I'm just like, that's when I really am my most creative self, you know? No, but do you actually fuck with it? Yes. Yeah. Like you like the way videos are stimulate yes dude

i swear you like the taste of good like junk food yeah it's it's so true how that works are you pissed that i'm a stoner now i'm on day two of quitting i'm doing a full dopamine detox no i learned my lesson not the same as last time I'm trying to stick to being goofy and not so gay or introspective the opposite of goofy is gay I guess not

it's more of a synonym I don't know yeah oh my god today's episode is also brought to you by Factor you guys know about Factor? The meals. Yeah.

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This July, get Factor and enjoy eating well without the hassle. Head to factormeals.com slash KB50. God damn it. And use code KB50 to get 50% off. I just opened up Twitter, and your dad is just conversing with Soledad O'Brien. She's responding. He sent her a picture of his foot. What is he doing? She hurt her ankle.

Is he his gout? Oh yeah. And so he sent a picture of his metatarsal, his fifth metatarsal. And she was like, oh my god, what's a Jones fracture? And then they're conversing. They're just talking. Yeah. Yeah. Are you seeing it yeah um but with your dad being brought up over the weekend uh megan rapinoe retired

yeah and did you see your dad's response to her retirement it was sent to me by multiple people a little too comfortable with the trans it is with a deep sense of peace and gratitude that i've decided this will be my final season playing this beautiful game i could have never imagined the ways which soccer would shape and change my life forever but by the look of this little girl's face she knew all along and then megan tweeted a picture of her as a little girl yeah your dad responded damn near immediately yeah it's almost like he has her notification we're all like we're like playing cards and eating like salads and burgers and pasta and i'll look over and i'll check twitter and it's like he just tweeted like a like a paragraph response to a politician he responded megan rapinoe as a youngster watching megan dominate the game i

assumed she was a trans female faster, tougher than any other female athlete. Megan was my hero. I didn't need to change to compete. You will be missed. And other than the flag incident, we're perfect. Thank you. That's pretty funny. That's pretty fucking funny.

Oh, my God. And I found out that my uncle and dad, the one who has a podcast and the one who's Doug Winoi, had a company like I forget, like 20 years ago. Yeah. Or maybe more like a private eye, a private investigator services called. They were adults. Oh, yeah. Forty or thirty. They were private eyes. Yeah. It's called Aardvark Detectives. So they would be the first in the phone book. Oh my God, I got this.

This is my dad's. That's awesome. They would do it. What is it by dad's? Trailing and locating, free consultation, runaways, missing persons, divorce evidence. They would find cheaters. They were in parsippany new jersey yeah so hardvark detectives yeah so i got that and like i got home and i was

like wait that was probably fake he probably just made that but it wasn't i texted my dad to make sure i was like was this for real he said 100 did a nasty job in newark. Some job about getting someone's blood type. Brian got beat up following some lady. So, yeah. Dude, we have to have your dad on the podcast before we move. Yeah, I think we can make it happen. I think so, too. Do we have Brawley coming in next week?

Brawley next week. Oh, shit. Yeah. Brawley, the wheelchair. Yeah, he'll be rolling. The quad we doxed yes nimrod nimrod street he's coming in quad from probably already started his commute now yeah he said uh prepared to be roasted oh fuck oh he's got it for us hell yes okay yep he pisses me off but i beat him up your first fight i'm one and oh

how long did that uh detective business last i there it's like when we're at this it's all story it's all stuff like that so i'm like that was is that real it's like i don't i can't keep up yeah like i do they do to me what people say like me and nick do to them like oh i can't tell if you're being serious or not but that's truly how they are yeah because they will go crazy it's just all everything is a performance at our family gathering do they like everything is a routine they're very rehearsed my uncle 100 rehearsed the entire day he didn't say one thing naturally it was like every job we're going off script and you guys had like a giant beach house too right no no i went to my girlfriend's family

to the beach oh gotcha gotcha gotcha i was to say it's like the Barstool Content Factory when your house is together. You guys need a reality show. I don't know. Everybody's doing content. What's your mom do? She's not in content. She's the opposite. Okay.

That's my dad's gene. Okay. Just this burning desire to do content. Holy shit. What is that? How alice in wonderland created you told me that it was funny uh alice the guy the mathematician so alice in wonderland close you'll find out how did it was how was it created the creator of alice in wonderland or what was the motive um the guy wrote it because he needed an excuse to take his neighbor's

daughters out on picnics he was a pedophile and so like he would for something to entertain them he wrote this story and kyle he was just like yeah i guess it makes sense and it's it's like one of the most famous stories of all time yeah Yeah. He had like true motivation. Why did you say close when I said he was a mathematician? They're probably. Yeah. They're probably. Yeah. I have to fly out tomorrow morning to Pittsburgh.

He's got the softball game, the celebrity softball game. Zero training. Everybody's like bringing their own gloves. And I said I didn't have one. And so the guy just got, I have a brand new glove, which is probably. Yeah, I said, yeah, I think you're going to be fine offensively. I just I can't have you making an error. Apparently, Miles Sanders was the worst last year.

So I have to just do better than Miles Sanders, who is the running back for the Panthers. So it's you know, if you have to guess who. Yeah. Who else is on? I just I just have to do better than Miles Sanders. Jesus. Low bar. Matthew Judon's on my team.

Nice. A professional wrestler named Braun Strowman. Who else is on my team? Kenneth Walker, the third. He's a running back for the Seahawks. I forget who else is on my team. Jersey Jerry but he was like nice at baseball

he was nice with it yeah my fit I don't know what it's going to be because I got to look kind of steezy so I think I'm going to do the under armor leggings I have a top uniform and then blue shorts but I don't know if white or black under armor leggings you work on your

batting stance yet? No. It's all about looking cool. Yeah, I think I'm just going to do this kind of thing. This kind of like. You're more athletic than you let on. Yeah. We were talking about that on the Yak.

You're not bad at any sport. Basketball. But you're not even like not terrible. No, terrible at basketball. Yeah, okay, yeah. But basketball's so hard it's basketball is the one you can't shooting is whatever but playing a game of basketball is so hard i'm not aggressive enough to like jump up and rub against a guy yeah you gotta want it

you gotta want it it's touchy i hate bumping um yeah but but this i don't know but my mom bought 25 tickets oh shit and she gave them all out to people like my old babysitter is going because my mom bumped into her after she's like so like it's not even like your old babysitter is 24

yeah dude is it gonna be live streamed i think we're sending a camera there nice um but we'll see how it goes um that's because my mom my my cheering section is going to be people i haven't seen in 15 years yeah it's because she my mom went to the grocery store right after she bought the tickets and i think she left the grocery store without any so i think like the bag boy is coming who my mom went to the grocery store right after she bought the tickets. And I think she left the grocery store without any. So I think like the bag boys coming who my mom had in class. Your mom has like 20 jobs, like not volunteer. She's always doing stuff.

Yeah. Always with like adults with special needs. And that's why that's how I end up in that drum circle. Yep. I was the best. The best. Is your partner going to be there? No, no, no.

No. Every time you say partner, I just think you're talking to Kyle. Like referring to KB. Yeah, you're my partner in a way. PIC? Partner in... POC? No. Polish.

Partner of color polish oh that was not like my family like my grandma was pissed she's like you're not poland and i had to explain her like a is a joke and i was like wait are you not polish at all no what i'm not it's like slovak german slovak not. It's like Slovak. German, Slovak. What is... A lot of like... What's her... What's her last name?

She is very much... Fuck. I think Slovakian. Is that a country anymore? Yeah. It used to be Czechoslovakia. Right. But now it's just...

Slavic or whatever. Yeah. That's what I am too. Brother. So she... Did she confronted you about this yeah and when i was like trying to make the excuse that it's a joke i was like what's like what's the joke that's why i just believe you because i don't i still don't think i get the joke

yeah i don't either so you let me compile all those memes yeah i don't even know how to run i don't know anything about polish like i'm pretty geography savvy and that's run. I don't know anything about Polish. About Poland. I'm pretty geography savvy. And that's like the one country I know nothing about. Warsaw. Krakow. Not bad.

Yeah, that's it. We got to do a 23andMe for you. That's the least interesting thing ever. I've never been interested in someone's 23 in me. Why? Has anything ever been like, wow. Your family tree, what if you're related to Abe Lincoln? Oh, it shows you that. That would be cool.

That would be kind of cool. What else do we have going on? Don't have much on the 351, which is not today. It was last week. It counts. Northern Mass, Massachusetts, Lowell, Lawrence, Haverhill, Gloucester, not Gloucester, and

Lemonster, not Leominster. Correct? Lemonster? Yeah. Weird spellings and pronunciations. What do you know about him? Nothing. I didn't really research it, sorry.

But you fought for 351. I just thought, yeah, I want it to be right. I don't really much have a heat check, but I think we found the oldest mayor. Oh. Haverhill, is that how you pronounce it? Haverhill? Haverhill? Haverhill? Haverhill? Is that how you pronounce it? Read Haverhill. Haverhill. Haverhill.

Jim Fiorenti. Mayor. He doesn't have an Instagram. Yeah. At Mayor underscore Jim underscore Fiorenti. Fio. R.E.N.T.I. Double underscore handle.

I think he's like one hundred and six because he took a picture like with a a 104 year old on her birthday and he's older jim fiorenti he has some poses yeah his first yeah well his profile picture is just a red car oh he has some he's so old like he has like some album cover pics yeah he does the pride event it's like him speaking on a podium great turnout for our annual pride event and then just like four old straight people he's the oldest man i've ever seen and i can't get a gauge on his size um so yeah the pride event i think there is one gay guy he's in candy stripes old oh look yeah he's a guy who took john elton john's virginity

shagged him in the loo at weatherspoons and then all right um here he's got a he looks like Robert De Niro's like dad's friend that what is this this one on March 10th is like impossibly blurry on February 9th he's not alive and then March

11th is with the 104 year old who looks 10 years younger than him so congrats to him. Yeah. Congrats. Yeah. He's dead. Now he passes the heat check.

Jesus Christ. He's probably cold as hell. Like to touch. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Old people. When's the last time you touched an old person? Oh, my God. this is a weird photo

not their skin in like two months yeah two months yeah when did you touch an old person

I haven't touched an old skin in two months alright so if he passes the heat check I have to alright he has a

cool Eddie Bauer bumblebee rain foil for $99 and he has some swaggy porous green dickies. So that's why he passed.

Fair enough. Fair enough. Can I make a request? Mm-hmm. For next week, for Brawley, can you bring back Dickhead of the Week? Yeah, I forgot about that. Gladly. You can pick from anything, truly.

Okay. I think I hate men. That's a Drake-ass thing to say. Yeah. They're so whack. And him not even being confident. I think I hate men. They're so whack.

Men? They're bad. Unless you're like in your friend group, they're not, there's no redeeming, like why would you want to be around guys? Yuck it up. Some people like that, I guess.

They suck. I love meeting new fellas. Yeah, I don't. Are you set on friends, you think? Oh, no, no, no. I'm fine with meeting. Yeah, with sharing common bonds or whatever. But, yeah, I don't like being around them.

So just women, sober women, I think are the best people to be around. Yeah. Your friends, friends, sober women. Sure.

Your guy friends. Number one. Yeah. Your guy friends, sober women, funny, drunk men. Oh oh no funny sober men funny sober men um family you'd rather would you rather hang out with like a funny stranger

or your aunt? Who would you rather get lunch with? The funny stranger. I have nothing to talk about with most of my aunts. At all. What would you guys pick? Funny stranger. Yeah, 100%. Somebody here asked to Face stranger yeah yeah 100 i don't think all right what if all right somebody here has to facetime their aunt i don't have my aunt's number i don't

have my aunt's number either it's got to be you kyle it's like an email you guys have one of your aunt dude you have one of your aunt's numbers i swear i dude it's a that's an email i don't know mine is christmas relationship same well my aunt beth would be fine facetime right now even like i'm cool with all of my aunts i think some of them listen i like you guys a lot we uh i respect you yeah but we don't really we don't have conversations that often and what call your aunt and have a one minute regular conversation oh my god Call your aunt and have a one minute regular conversation. Oh my God.

I think I'd rather like squat 500 pounds. Let me see if I type in aunt what comes up. I don't know. I might not. Oh, no. Yeah, I don't. Mook, you have to. Wait, let me see your fucking screen then.

Why was Frank Fleming pinned? Yeah, that always confuses me. It always shows up as my like Apple ID because I changed my number to Frank Fleming. I must have been fake texting. Yeah. I move. Call your aunt. You have to call your aunt, dude. I have that holiday relationship where the only thing we talk about is i get her fired right you'll have to do a minute

30 seconds i get her fired up over politics just call her and just be like hey uh i don't know i'm not gonna do this for you actually i don't want to do this i guess you have to. You have to. This is my Aunt Pam. Pam? Aunt Pam. Everybody's got one. My mom's sister.

Yeah, you can't say it's for a prank or a day or a challenge. You have to say, just checking in. Yeah, just checking in. She's not going to answer. I don't think she knows how to work FaceTime. You're lucky. She's probably watching Fox. You're fucking lucky. Thank you for doing it.

Thank you. That's going to be a fun one to explain. Just don't pick up. It's just a series of happy birthday texts. Oh, God. Yeah. With a heart emoji. just don't pick up it's just series of happy birthday texts oh god yeah with a heart emoji i have some conversations on my phone that's just exchanging them there are there are people like from our like hometown if you go on facebook they're like they get more action than anyone at barstool on their posts oh yeah like they're like their hat their birthdays are insane like

they get more engagement than me yeah um their posts their comments like 90 comments they're having discourse yeah i love a good hometown facebook post oh i love what's a good like party recommendation for my like six-year-old and then a thousand replies one thousand but a lot of people ask just googleable things because i think they they want it the dopamine rush of the notifications and i have a heat check request kb you know this man oh the guy who got married i gotta i forgot to do that. Oh, that. Yeah, that's an old one. Dude, he passed.

He's a good-looking guy, well-dressed. What is his name? The guy that got married, and then Adam Jockle. Oh, yeah. Let me find this guy. Okay. Fuck, what was his name? I can find it.

But yeah, BRG got married, and his best man requested a heat check from KB. Yeah, you gotta do it. That's cool. But the book, Mook sent me pictures and he's well-dressed. I don't know if he would fail. So shout out to... I'm looking now. Jess Masaias.

Is that his name? Great physique. No, no, put some thought some thought into it well just from what i'm seeing okay i don't know what is that like a dog tag yeah maybe you can be roasted it's probably for one of his homies dude oh yeah but oh my god but yeah what were we saying my uh buddy josh uh one of my best friends he's like the creative dick shower or not creative it's it's not creative he just shows you he's my uncreative dick show so uncreative um he and my buddy marcus hate each other um but they hang out all the time but they always like they've the first time they ever met

fistfight i love both of them by the way that's more than any of my friends they're both assholes but they golf together and marcus is my age josh is a three years younger um so it's like a little brother situation and uh marcus has been golfing for a really long time josh just started um and marcus is like you know you'll never fucking beat me they've been golfing like every every week for like three years now and josh beat him and he posted that he beat him and then the immediate picture he left the golf course and just got the scorecard tattooed on his thigh he's a cop too yeah he's a cop oh that's awesome yeah that like immediately that is amazing yeah are they from your hometown yeah i love those hometown relationship ships it's like those people that didn't leave but like they're kind of like forced

to be friends so like yeah like i guess i introduced the two yeah i i fuck off um and then they're just like all right here we go yeah now we're going to trivia night yeah yeah yeah and i they do there's a love there but they don't like each other yeah and i think the funniest part about it is four people were on that scorecard and josh came in third god damn yeah he's good he's damn good he's he uh he was a marine and so he has like valhalla tattooed down his back but when he lifts it up to show it it just says allah it's where you were it's people you were fighting yeah um and it's like a harry potter tattoo his

harry potter sleeve yeah whoa yeah but it's just like it's he doesn't even really a harry potter tattoo his harry potter sleeve yeah whoa yeah but it's just like he doesn't even really like harry potter he just had money and i think it just finished the prisoner of azkaban and he was on a military base he was like this is my sleeve big ass snape on his arm that extra bag from planning coke in someone's trunk someone almost did to me what no i was gonna like love it now so i remember the cops searched my car and they didn't have the right i didn't learn that after the fact yeah but i would never push back i don't i have less rights than most people i know and in their defense i drive like a criminal i just like i would just like drive like i walk like just for fun and i would turn

around on the sidewalk they turn around in parking lots and oh yeah i would listen to music and oh yeah i would do that i'm excited to do that again you're not getting a car i can't yeah you can yeah i don't want one okay there we go i hate driving so i'm gonna and none of you guys are i think i'm gonna get a moped so i'm gonna be obligated to do all the driving oh yeah i can't wait to get in the car and drive to indiana and shit that's my music i'm driving my music ah you're getting a weird car right i're gonna try to get a weird car you should get a let's do let's do a road trip okay i'm in quick a day trip where to was is that wisconsin dell's place cool is it like a theme park oh i won't nope not driving there not a theme place i don't want to go to a theme park i'm afraid of roller coasters appleton we go to wisconsin like

pretty bad wisconsin has some cool cities that I've never seen. Appleton might have one of the smaller airports. That's like you can fly. Yeah, it does have an airport. It might be an international airport going right up to Canada. Wisconsin Dells has Noah's Ark Water Park. Yeah, we'll do that. We go to Glenbard North High School.

Check it out. Check out the wrestling powerhouse. I think basketball. Where were you saying, Mook? Wisconsin Dells. Yeah, you were. I thought it was something else. What?

Adam Jockle. Oh, yeah. The TikToker. Yeah. Yeah. I was on him early. I was talking about him. Now it's.

He already blew up. Yeah. But I mean, he's fascinating i've watched every video there's a lot of people i can't tell if they're being serious he was the first one that truly mesmerized me and tricked me yeah but i think he's real he's yeah i think me kyle and marty are going to world of t-shirts birthday party oh yeah yes oh yeah it's on Monday and we got the invite or Marty did and he has a plus two. Yeah, it's on Monday at 2 p.m. Yes.

Oh, it's Monday at 2. It's at 2 p.m.? Yeah. Starts at 2. Oh, fuck. I've been off TikTok, but I heard Ken Jack just told me that Daniel Larson is in jail. He stole a dog and then somebody came and stole the stolen dog. Oh, his aunt.

His aunt. Aunt Pam. Aunt Pam. Just checking in. Aunt Pam. Hey, just checking in. Just wanted to say hello. No one died. No, we're all good over here. What's going on with you?

I'm in New York. Oh, you got Carson. You got the doggy. You got the doggy. Oh, yeah. He's chilling. Quick. Are we? Do we like a quick question then i'll get off do we like rfk or do we not like rfk well you know i do like him he's a moderate democrat and he really

um he likes a lot of the same things that trump is for freedom and free speech and um he's he doesn't want open borders got it but um he does okay wait wait i'm getting pulled into something can i give you a call back oh sure all right love you bye bye she didn't return the love you excellent work excellent work and That was a full minute, I think. There was one flub I saw. You said, oh, there's the dog, the doggy-o. You said doggy-o? Yeah, doggy, doggy-o.

Yeah. My parents are on vacation. She's got the dog-o. Okay. I feel bad now. I have to call her back at some point. So say what? You were just pranking her?

You didn't care how she was? Yeah, we do talk politics. RFK. She didn't seem interested at all until you brought up our. And then she could have went for. Yeah. Yeah. He can't win with that voice.

I didn't even heard him. Oh, he has a. Oh, you're in for a treat. He has a voice, man. He's got a chest. But just no. Have you heard his voice? It sounds like he's being sat on

by a sumo wrestler. Yeah. Yeah. You can't. You can't win with that. But it's like a medical. Yeah. It's a medical thing.

But yeah, the president, that matters. Yeah. You can do win with that voice. But it's like a medical issue. It's a medical thing. But yeah, for president, that matters. You can do 10 push-ups. But is it like something that if he were president, it would be hilarious to do impressions? I don't know because it's a medical thing. I don't think it'd be funny. I think it'd just be kind of sad. Yeah.

Yeah. Wait, is it from a vaccine? I don't think so. Are you guys sympathizing with this guy robert kennedy i don't i just don't want to make fun of his voice like there's so many other things you can make fun of for we're bringing in a quadriplegic to make fun of next week yeah we can make fun of this for the third yeah that's but that's i mean he asked for it i mean mean, Robert. He was asking for. No, he asked to be roasted.

Oh, I thought he did. Yeah. The feeling in his arms and legs. I wonder how he did it. Well, I said next week. Yeah, I'll figure that out. It better be. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. No, I love Jockle. Yeah. Apparently, Marty, I just put Marty on to Jockckle so he's late he's not online but uh apparently he's golfing with him yeah i don't know if he's announced that but no that's fine no no no that's it's perfectly fine dude yeah marty knows every like he i don't know how he reaches out to these people when they just, I don't know his lineup of, of people. He knows Shaq's son like FaceTime.

Yeah. Hey, what's up at Shaq's son. Yeah. He had, he had Bryce Hall come in to do like mush Monday or whatever, or like whatever. Yeah. He knows turn walk for Montrush.

Yeah. Damn. Yeah. We got to start knowing people, man. No, I, I just can't do it.

I don't have it in me. Yeah. All right. Anything else, boys? Do you know anything about Huntsville, Alabama? It's like the space place. Aerospace. Oh, they have a NASA college, right?

I think. Something like that. Okay. Why? Going there this weekend. They have the Trash Pandas minor league like that. Okay. Why? Going there this weekend. The Trash Pandas, minor league baseball team. Okay.

I don't know how it is. Probably nicer than Birmingham. Okay. You got a show there? Yeah. Me and Sass are going there. Huntsville, Alabama.

Huntsville, Alabama. Friday, Saturday. Do you guys, it's just, how do you decide where you go? He has an agent.

That agent just sends us out. Yeah. Yeah. Let me know how it's just, how do you decide where you go? He has an agent that just sends us out. Yeah. Yeah. Let me know how it is. I will. But should be, should be awesome. I'm excited to see what strip mall you guys go to. Yeah. That's, you're not going to get a Huntsville queen, are you? How's that going? Can't confirm or deny. New old queens.

Me and the Philly queen still, still talking, but you know, no comment. No. Plead the fifth on that one. Queens me and the Philly Queens still still talking but you know no comment no plead the fifth on that one okay so it's going

bad I don't know I took that as it's going well I thought that too I thought that oh yeah because it was

going bad you'd feel fine talking about it yeah so now you just got to tell us straight up yeah yeah i guess your bases yeah i'll let you know okay all right new untold story uh rudy you should try to fuck lena the plug what yeah yeah you should why you could yeah okay we try you gotta try

sure I'll try okay all right cool cool god bless