A New Untold Story - -G feat. Giulio Gallarotti - A New Untold Story: BONUS EPISODE

Episode Date: February 16, 2024

-G Follow Giulio on socials @notjulio as well as on snapchat. If you want to go to his special taping in Chicago, you can purchase tickets here: https://thedentheatre.com/performances/2024/2/16/giulio-gallarotti-special-taping-the-den-theatre-comedy-club Want more Anus? Check out the links below https://linktr.ee/anuspodcastYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, A New Untold Story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad-free on Amazon Music. It's a new untold story. A new untold story. It's a fresh big untold story. A new untold story. Cool. A new untold story bonus. You rudy julio kyle what's up guys rudy juliani kyle rudy juliani kyle close close enough type shit that's a yeah that's a it works rudy julie oh no fuck it doesn't work at all. God damn.

No, we're here with you. Yeah, welcome to the fresh coast. Good to be here, guys. Is that what they call this? Because of the fresh water? Fresh water, yeah. That's cool. That's the left coast, fresh coast, best coast.

What's best coast? East. And then left coast is west? Yeah. And then fresh coast? I don't know. I've heard fresh coast before, and I think that should be used more. That's a good line. I like that a lot. For don't know. I've heard Fresh Coast before and I think that should be used more. That's a good line. I like that a lot. For the fresh water.

It's pretty much the ocean. It looks exactly like it. This is the most intellectual show at Barstool. Without a doubt. Without a doubt. That's the superlative. Have you ever been to India? No. Damn. Are you thinking about going?

No. Dude, my boy. Fuck no dude my boy no my boy a fresh coast resident is heading to india soon yeah and we were discussing probably one of the least fresh coastlines of all time and they say the indian ocean's beautiful dude yeah it's supposed to be violent too as far as like Seas? Yeah. Wow. It is I've touched India ocean You've touched the Indian ocean? What? My buddy Clayton Vitek Wait did you touch it without

Swimming in it? No I swam in it You could have said I swam in it I touched it. I don't know why I said it like that Touching the ocean, that doesn't even sound like You got wet. That's like a guy who doesn't Quite get surfing, he'll be like yo yo, you want to go touch ocean? You just palmed it. Yo, let's go touch ocean, dude.

Wait, when did you touch the Indian Ocean? I was in South Africa. I guess that is. And Perth is surprisingly maybe to some the Indian Ocean. Wait, really? I thought the Indian Ocean was pretty small. It's an underappreciated ocean. It's a big ocean.

And also that's where you get the Maldives, which is like the blue, blue, blue water. Yep. Oh, yeah. That honeymoon water. Wow, it is a fucking... But I've heard people split up the Indian Ocean and make the South Ocean. Have you heard of the South Ocean? They're trying to add a...

Well, the Southern Ocean is an ocean. That's like the Antarctic coast. But it's not on maps, typically. Right. I don't remember learning about it as a kid but yeah that's twisty i see what they're doing but julio you are right it was mad violent interesting cool why haven't you not gone to india that seems like a big country i want to go i think the big countryness about it is intimidating like the idea of going all the way over there and not

planning the perfect trip is intimidating and also the certainty of getting food poisoning is a lot yeah and i you know i have a lot of food poisoning experience at this point i think i could handle it what do you think the chance you're it's 100 food poisoning there no but they like they say south asia in general is like where the food poisoning is the ripest yeah and there are all these theories about how to avoid it that i'm curious about trying to explore uh anorexia well eating less really does help i found sure just eating half of the portion you would normally eat allows your body nearly 100 chance you'll suffer some sort of nearly 100 chance that's crazy yeah like when i have indian here i am toast oh yeah indian and india food poisoned toast no but just like lactose intolerant toast it's just like uh gelatinous shit yeah i had a i had a war last

night i had one of those ones i had a poke bowl which usually is good and i woke up as one of those ones where it wakes you from a sleep i was asleep oh it's like oh my god dude almost shitting your pants while sleeping is like the scariest thing that doesn't really happen to me very often never yeah like once a week probably you almost shit your pants while sleeping it's like a nightmare dude oh my god i've never shit the bed as an adult but i have shit a recliner i should have i think there's an easier chance on that you think so yeah i was i was like i was real sick but it was like water. Yeah, that's easier.

I think for whatever reason, like your butthole is like the fence mechanism while you're sleeping. That is a good system. It's like ADT home security. It's probably to prevent from getting fucked. Fort Knox. Yeah. Anti-rape system. Built in.

Yeah. Very nice. But pooping in complete blackness is kind of a meditative experience nah because i want to turn on the light how do you know when you're like done i do that often every you shit in total darkness it sucks and i apply to apply my panicura reptile cream are you still doing that because i'm on the vibe like i need pure blackness i can't have any light how do you know when you're done wiping up it's a feel thing no it's not wiping is a sight thing yeah you and then in the morning you go look in the mirror and

it's just on your nipple the morning you can finish it off this kind of food poisoning though it's like that violent that feeling of like an intense heat sweat and you like holding it in is very difficult impossible and it's almost like um the ass puckers it like goes in and you like holding it in is very difficult. Impossible. And it's almost like, um, the ass puckers. It like goes in and out like a little bit. It feels like a kissy face.

Exactly. And I get anxiety thinking that I'm going to be in transit when that happens to me. Yeah. And I'm trying to just let go, you know, and just whatever. So I will go eventually, but it intimidates me a little.

Yeah. That would be a deal breaker for me the way you describe it sounds like something I'd never want to experience yeah dude without despite what good can come before or after it yeah and I usually I get it more often

than not if I travel I just lie about having it I don't think I've ever had it it's not that bad. It's not, it's really not that bad. I'm describing as bad, but if you have like a decent bathroom, you're fine.

You're fine. You just need to like sweat it out for 12 hours and you're good. That's, that sucks. That sucks bad. This, this is the trick. You lay on the floor of the bathroom.

See, that's already too much. I don't want to have to like, Oh, let me employ this trick. You rest. Save me. I'm telling you, you rest the base of your neck on

the bottom of the toilet the cold porcelain is very soothing and you find a precise position where you don't feel nauseous you fall asleep you fall asleep right there i actually do that you fall asleep using the toilet as a pillow uh sort of that's the best case scenario laying on your bathroom tile it doesn't sound that bad. In a semi-comfortable way. Not even your bathroom. For 12 hours. For 12 hours.

Well, you maybe will get to go to the bed at some point. Like, you'll feel good enough to go to the bed. Are YouTube travel vlog, the fabulous ones, is this part of their journey, their life? Drew Binsky told me not to fucking name him. Yeah, he's good. He gets sick most of the time he said he probably gets food poisoning 80 of the time good for him but then he's also like dude but i eat like dirt off the street also yeah he goes to the worst of the worst he goes in

yeah so you brought up like india being so big and you'd be afraid you'd squander the trip that's like you just awoken anxiety i didn't even think I had like going somewhere and not doing it right is worse than not going. I know. I know. And it's like, it's such a big trip and I just don't have time to do. Have you ever wasted a trip? No, but there are every single time I learned something that I could have done better. And I don't like to revisit because I feel like there's so much to see, but I'm like, if I were to go back to this place, I'd do it so much better. So I accept that I can't do it perfectly, but still sometimes I'm like if i were to go back to this place i'd do it so much better so i i accept that i can't do it perfectly but still sometimes i'm like what should i prioritize do you do the touristy shit i try if you go to paris are you going to go to the the louvre okay so it's interesting in

some of these random places the touristy shit there's nobody there because it's like a place that's hard to get to so if you do the touristy shit in iraq it's sick if you do the touristy shit in iraq right war no no but dude like like the the ziggurat of or is a really sick thing so you you don't even think about the parishes of the world no i do but like the parishes of the world the european tourist destinations are the most mobbed ones of all time yeah here's a trip i did really badly i went to sintra in Portugal. I wanted to go see like the palaces. Okay. The lines were all absolutely insane. You couldn't park anywhere.

I just drove around. You just accidentally found a Pokemon. You just accidentally typed a Pokemon. Is that what you're Googling? You typed Zygarde. Fuck yeah. Dude, you wanted to go see Zygarde? That's cool as hell.

That is sick, dude. He's a mythical Pokemon. You saw him in Portugal? Yeah. Yeah. It would make sense. Wait, what did you say again the ziggurat of ur oh my god he did zygarde of iraq you are yeah we gotta fire you

we kind of do look at this dude this is oh that is sick dude and this was swamped though no it's there oh you this was not packed not at all there's nobody well it's hard to get a pass to go because it's right next to like a really high security prison that's filled with like al-qaeda and uh sure and isis people this is in iraq yeah okay not the portugal one and bro it's sick and you can just go do whatever you want like you can dangle your legs off the side you can fucking like i was in saddam hussein's palace they just gave me a piece of the chandelier. They're like, here you go.

Do you have it still? Yeah. I was like, are you sure? Yeah, you gave it to your girl on a necklace, right? I have it. I have it in my apartment. But yeah, like they don't have it displayed. No, I have it like tucked away.

I've always wondered about like the kinds of memorabilia because I wanted to get, there is a weird part of me that wants to get like a World War II piece of memorabilia and having a piece of like something from Hitler would be interesting but then it's like what do you do with it? You can't have that on the last. But then it's like yeah you can't. You can't. I know someone

who owns like a piece of memorabilia like that and I went in their room and they had it and I was like What was it? It was like a helmet. What was it? Was there a mike on the top world war ii thinking a helmet's okay with the logo okay the logo does change things drastically yeah and i know the person so i'm like oh they're like a history buff and collector but like this is not something that you want people to see out of context in any capacity. It's Francis, right? Francis' Nazi stuff's a lot newer. Francis got his Nazi memorabilia

from Etsy. The new line. He has a swastika flat brim. Snap back. he has a swastika flat brim snap back but dude i do i get a lot of travel-based anxiety about i just i like have anticipatory anxiety in general like not plugging my special taping tomorrow night i was telling both of you guys this i'm afraid that i'm going to manifest some sort of sickness between now and the time of the tape and i also, you might just be sick. I really hope not.

Yeah. Wait, do you feel sick? No. All right. I feel fine. But like sitting there stewing about it. You know what I mean? So like I'm not that durable of a traveler.

I went camping on this trip. In Iraq. Yes. And I was like, this sucks, dude. I hate camping. Yeah. I had something stuck in my teeth. My floss was on the mainland. I was camping on a little island iraq has islands your teeth floss yeah i had

something stuck in my like cavity and it was so painful and i was like i'm a bitch dude camping in iraq look up yeah the mar the marshes of mesopotamia oh that sounds amazing sounds sweet fire yeah that's when man became man right? Does that like the birthplace of society? That's cool. Really cool. Um, and yeah, man,

the dude who like took us out there on a boat, he just slept in the boat. I was like, this guy's a fucking legend, dude. It was all cold. That is crazy. Is that where you were?

Yeah. I had, I had service too. I'm like texting. So you were texting from there. Dude, this is great. I was doing the pod with Francis at the time and my producers texted me and I responded.

They're like, it's insane that you respond faster than Francis when you're camping in rural Iraq. People like live there? Yeah, dude. There's like Marsh people like Saddam. I guess that they were sort of like anti Saddam at one point. So he tried to like drain the marshes or something to get rid of them we had a leader that did that yeah yeah that's that's cool literally

draining the swamp uh but it's cool and dude i had two options so you can sleep in the marsh house or you can camp and i was like well obviously the marsh house they're like before you say yes to that you should see the bugs that are in the marsh house no and i And I saw the bug and I was like, we're camping. How big was the bug? You want to see it? I want to see the bug. Let me pull it up real quick. I'm going to find my camera.

How does the camping limit the bugs? I guess there's just no bugs at the campsite. Oh my God. For whatever reason. Wait, fuck these. Bugs keep me young. My hatred for bugs. Just wait till you see this thing.

Are they colorful? They look like Starship Troopers. Oh, they look like the bugs from starship troopers one of my favorite movies great movie dude oh they look just like i know look at that fucking rico's roughnecks no no no no take them out much too big fuck that is that on you no it's on someone else he was like like, dude, he was like, FYI. I'm like, done. You're right. Can you air drop that? And they fly? Yeah. Mook, you want it? Yeah.

They appear to have functioning wings. I didn't ask many more questions beyond that. Yeah, I wouldn't either. I just heard that we're going to have a biblical year of cicadas. No, it feels like that's every fucking summer. No, but it's like there's two different breeds, and once every like 36 years the savage the 17 year cycle lines up. So we're getting double. Yeah, we kind of accepted that too easily when it happened in 2000 ish.

Yeah, when they were just everywhere. But like I wasn't afraid of them when I was in 2000. I remember you could pull their back right leg and their head would shoot. I was young. We were like having wars. I was young enough to feel like, like oh this must be a regular occurrence but that they they covered entire trees they covered the entire perimeter it's a place just we've accepted a plague every yeah um kind of speaking of travel do you watch the bachelor no okay you would love this

guy joey he's about he's the current he's the most simple man there is he's the most no okay you would love this guy joey he's the about he's the current he's the most simple man there is he's the most i set you guys this but he went to malta oh nice uh the capital valetta which was created thousands years thousands of years 5900 bc and he was like oh this place kind of has an old school vibe to it yeah buddy yeah man like it's sure not catacombs and he's he's having red wine in a catacomb real old school vibe dude that's great yeah i love this vibe he said something else their language is supposed to be like really unique malta i've heard yeah maltese are you good with languages no okay i think i wonder if i could be because i can like sing full-on like reggaeton songs but don't speak any spanish and like struggle to pick up spanish so like i sometimes wonder if i like have it in me or not you know

but i'm not a language guy i i that's what my brain can't comprehend i've been i've never been good at languages yeah and it makes me feel like a simp dude a simp to not know another language yeah that would be a simp move to learn another language yeah pussy no you're saying no this is this is a or simp in the term of simpleton i guess in the term of relationships which is like generally speaking like i just feel so unsophisticated you meet some other like dumb person who like speaks four languages like they're immediately i think that's the simpiest move learning learn a language to i'm gonna walk in your country and expect you i'm not trying to impress women dude where did that come from oh you're saying that simp typically i think a simp is someone who does something purely to be perceived

as higher more sophisticated to women interesting very boom bettering yourself bettering yourself as a simp move yeah yes yes yeah the real men should be at their worst and never learn anything i guess though if you learn something gay pussy yeah i think unless it's like you know rudy you're straight as fuck, dude. Yep. You haven't learned anything ever. Exactly. Real bad.

God built me for one thing and one thing only. To exist. Yeah. To dwell. To dwell. Dude, I mean, that's really I've said a million times I got banned from languages. They said no. They're like, you're done.

It's over. You're done with languages. Yeah. The dyslexia thing. They're like that languages that is over with you're not showing up again that's hard as fuck joey uh the bachelor also i i love this show dude did you see him flamenco dancing or what how is he well he wore shorts and they gave him boots so he was wearing these real tight tall boots that are high heeled and it was the funniest visual I've ever seen of him he was dancing

in shorts and boots and I loved it so much hold on go to them dancing old school a really old school vibe there this is part of the bachelor so we've progressed deep in the season at this point yeah search like Joey bachelor dancing

yep flamenco dancing is Malta about to pop off with Yeah. Search like Joey Datchler dancing. Yep. Flamenco dancing. Is Malta about to pop off with US tourism because of this? I bet now. I bet it is. Here, go a little bit further in. He's freaking out that he has to wear boots with shorts. And he's like, please don't look at me. You look nice. You gotta go further

in to when he's dancing. He's gorgeous. You gotta go further in. There he's dancing. He's gorgeous. You gotta go further in. There we go. Yep. Hold on. There he is. Yeah.

And he had a panic attack that he had to wear boots with shorts. He's the most simple man of all time. He said one of his quotes was, you can tell a lot about somebody by how they act. But he's not like a he's likable though. Where's he from? Philly.

I DM'd him. Of course you did. I said I need you in my crew and he didn't respond. Oh shit. Of course you did. I said, I need you in my crew. And he didn't respond. Oh, shit. You got to give him time. Son of a... You have to wait until he's on the decline.

Then I'll hit you back. Yeah. Yeah. No, I've been assembling a crew of morons for a while now. Isn't that right, boys? You're here. Let's go. Let's go.

You have your special, I i guess when this comes out today oh yeah how you feeling i feel i feel good i think dude why is it called a special i don't know but somebody replied when i posted that i was doing a special they're like if so many people are doing specials is it really that special oh no thanks man i've been like what do you what do you do i love wait i love that dude that responded with that. It's insane, right? Not so special. I know. I don't like dude.

I don't know. How's it go? Are you going to do multiple sets in a night and then construct it? Is that how everybody does it? I do two shows. And I think they'll be pretty similar, but I want to take a couple liberties with one of them. I thought of something that I want to try that I've never done, which think keeps it spicy yeah uh and then one one show i'm going to expand on one particular i'm figuring out specifically but especially is like your fleshed out set

just produced yeah right yeah taped produced yeah yeah and then when you put it out like you you can't use that material anymore you can if you. You can, if you're a simp, if you're a simp, but there are people, so there's the discussion about this. It's like, if you film a shorter thing for whatever, for late night or for a showcase style show, can you reuse the material? Theoretically, some people say you can. I, for myself, I don't like to, if I put something on wax, I want to debt it. If I do it official.

I, for myself, I don't like to, if I put something on wax, I want to dead it. If I do it official. So I, the only real significant thing I've ever done, I did like a short set on this other Netflix thing. So I won't reuse any of that, that I've haven't. Wait, is this special on Netflix? I don't know where it's going to be yet. I don't, I don't even want to jinx it, but it doesn't have a home yet. Okay.

But I'm hoping for whatever it's worth. I don't mind if you use a bit or two that I've heard before, especially if they are one of your best. I appreciate it. It's like watching The Office. I guess you got the green light now. It's like watching your favorite episode. Yeah, I re-watched The Office. I appreciate that.

I like when you guys do it. But I will say that even if I were to now hear this from KB and be like, I need to now reuse my material. I haven't done it in so long that I actually don't even feel comfortable doing it. Wow. I don't understand the vibe of it anymore. Because there's like moments, you know, Mook, like there's moments of a joke that like you don't even know that it's counterintuitive that it would even be a joke. For some reason, the way you say it or the pause, it like will surprise you and then you incorporate it. I forgot about all that nuance about that stuff. Yeah. Especially working it out. Like

if you're working on a new joke, like you really don't know until you do it, where the puncher, where the pop is going to come from. Right. Which is why like, and there's some where you suspect, but even then, like, I'll start with a moment that I know is going to work and then like, try to build on it and see if that happens. So so so on top of being a comedian you are also um john mayer's bartender for a prank commercial have you seen that sure dude i produced this prank back in the day a bud light prank with john mayer uh i'm the bartender in it as well but but I cast it as well. So the basically John Mayer, it's like John Mayer asks. It's like, yeah, it's your John Mayer Bud Light prank. It should probably come up.

And basically the idea is there's all these moments for there's two guys at the bar. One guy goes to the bathroom and there's all these moments for the guy to give up the person who's in the bathroom seat and if he accomplishes all those moments then there you are he's a real bar oh so you uh you made this kind of yeah how did you stumble into this okay so i used to be on a prank show on mtv what was it called it was called totally clueless 20 episodes the guys who made it do all the hidden camera shit. And I'm still boys with them. So they made this and they're like, can you help us cast this video with John Mayer? And like, you can be in it too.

Because I think I get paid more if that is the case. So I was like, yeah, sure. Oh my God. So yeah, the final step is that John Mayer shows up and it's like, will you give up your seat for John Mayer or not? I saw this very soon after I met you and I was like, what the ain't no way. What a sensation. It was it was a rush for me.

It was an absolute rush to pause at 18 seconds and just be like, I felt so cool. Dude, this is a theme in my commercial career. Like I'm in things for half a second. Dude, I've been in a bunch. Oh, wait, let's pull some up. I'm barely in any of them. Okay, so I think I signed an NDA for this one, so let me see if I can, like...

It's probably expired by now. Yeah. Okay, there's a Capital One commercial that exists. It may star somebody who dates a high-profile football player. And Golarati is in it, potentially. At the end of the bar. They didn't do any of

my close up coverage. So I was like, I'm going to get cut out of this. I changed my paperwork because of it. The scoot of a lifetime at the beginning of the

ad, you see me pop my head in for two seconds at the end of the bar. Most money I've ever made on anything I've ever done in my life. Really? Yep.

And your face is visible for like half a second. Just search the search the search the a-lister that's dating the nfl player a-lister capital one mook this is the easy easy riddle mook no no no figure out who the a-lister that's dating a high profile nfl player all right yeah yes yes we have to fire I want to make him google shit now yeah is this it hmm

I'll find it it was the most dude it was a massive campaign like it's there for sure and just your head popping in you'll see me pop in profile most money I've ever made on any individual thing I've ever done

because you popped your head in yep that's it just keep your eyes peeled because you're going to miss him if you don't really look closely here. Alright, that's not you. Skip. This is like a modern Where's Waldo. Watch this, bro. Boom! Wait, wait, what?

I missed. Wait, you can't boom that. Yeah. That was the you can't boom that. I literally look like Waldo too. That's funny. Boom! Oh, I saw. Wait, wait, where is the boom? Wait for it. That's funny. Boom. Oh, I saw. Wait, wait, wait. Where is the boom?

Wait for it. Not discrediting you. End of the bar. Boom. Sorry. You got to forgive me. Dude, if I hadn't done that, I would have made like 700. What section are we looking at?

If I hadn't done that, I would have made $700 versus 10 times that. No, no. 100 times that. Wait, wait, wait. I still got to find you. The glasses. 100 times that. No, no. A hundred times that. Wait, wait, wait. I still, I got to find you. The glasses. 100 times that? That's like the kind of like.

But how did you get the gig? Dude, I'm a commercial actor. Like I have a commercial. Oh, with the glasses. Yeah. Yeah, I saw him from the jump, but I just didn't know that was you. Okay. Have a commercial.

Yeah. So I've, I've, I auditioned for commercials like most of my adult life and I've done a bunch of them. But the thing that decides whether or not you make money, if it's like a union commercial that's on TV and you get cast as a principal, no matter what you do in the commercial, like I could have punched Taylor Swift in the face or done this, and I get paid the same amount of money. So I was on a commercial that aired on ESPN for Pink Whitney, and I made $0.

That's right. I had a on a commercial that aired on ESPN for Pink Whitney and I made zero dollars. That's right. I had a speaking line. It appeared on TV? ESPN during the Stanley Cup. There must be some kicker in your contract that says you don't get any money for that. Alright. Some tough questions. This, you made

thousands? No, he said 100 times 700. Why thousands no he said 100 times 700 why why wouldn't they just pay someone much less than that like some they can't to play a guy at the bar so this is like an actor union union thing yeah congratulations thank you big congratulations and bro i went before this back to back to back big commercials that i got cut out of including i was the main guy in this like massive apple campaign i shot it in prague and they cut me out directed by the place beyond the pines guy he was directing the fuck they created rain out of a fire truck i was i was the i was the i was the hero i was the hero and i got cut out of it how do you cut

out wait how do they cut do they put out a commercial look it up apple how do they cut out the hero made in california it was the least successful apple campaign in the history of apple apple and made in california they shot it in four different cities and i guess they just picked the hero that they liked the most yeah i think this is that but did you still get so you were saying if you didn't lean forward and show your face yeah if your face doesn't appear you don't get paid were they mad at you for leaning forward no i just leaned forward and that's the shot they used and and and my agent was like dude i was prepared to fight for you if if like they were gonna pull a

fast one but yeah it was this it was this campaign so anyway the one the last one that you were showing i was like standing on the doorstep and i was supposed to run i guess there's a couple versions of it because i didn't see it here but uh but anyway yeah they cut me out of it so two apple commercials i got cut out of a bmw commercial i got cut out of three for three in a row and then finally i got really lucky you go to the diner for capital one and lean forward and then bro we all took selfies with taylor which she was like you guys want selfies i was like i'm not gonna ask one she's that aware that she knows that people are gonna play it cool but they really do you regret not doing it i did it oh you did it and she said to the producer make sure they

get these and we never got it i even dm'd her well you didn't get the selfie no i dm'd her i was like hey do you have that selfie but yeah yeah I do have that selfie. I did it, dude. It's embarrassing, but I did it. You DM Taylor Swift asking if she had the selfie. Would you like to see the DM? Yeah. Bro, I'm not capping on this show, bro. I got everything to back up all the shit I'm saying. That's something you say after she responds to you.

I'm not capping that she responded. I can't believe Julia lied about getting ghosted by Taylor Swift. Yo, I'm not capping. I did DM. Taylor, and I shoot a commercial with you. They never sent us the pics we took. You signed it hyphen G. Simp fucking city, dude.

Simp city. Good luck with your upcoming projects, G. Pretty smooth. Yeah, you're not capping. I believe that fully. I believe you did that. I believe you did that fully. I'm not like, we went on a date after. That's when you say I'm not capping yeah i believe that i believe you did that i believe you did that i'm not like we went

on a date after that's what you say i'm not yeah oh my how did you get uh linked up with pete davidson just from doing stand-up yeah yeah we just like we all used to do this these prom shows together like a bunch of comedians who are now very successful like chris di stefano yeah uh ricky valese yeah my canon like a bunch of a bunch of people i'm i'm forgetting names too like and we would all perform for free for these kids who who their parents were trying to keep them out of trouble after the prom so they scheduled an entire evening of activities so the show would be at like one o'clock in the morning and we'd all perform and pete was like 15 or something how were the

kids like pissed that they weren't drinking booze no they were all like like fucked up on the low okay but just like supervised like they had like a gatorade bottle of gatorade and type shit but how old were you when you were performing for 23 or 24 okay were they and you've known pete since he was 15 yeah uh they were vibing with the yeah and i've known yeah i've known pete like since he basically started comedy and it didn't take him long to start being super successful so like it doesn't surprise me that all the boys who sort of started out with him you know it's hard for him I imagine I don't want to put words in his mouth but to make like new friends without being suspicious of them yeah you know oh yeah uh as rappers say no new friends you know that yes so anyway we're all

boys and and you know he's been pretty crucial in most of my success i would say like a lot of it you know that's cool uh and it's really i really appreciate it and i i hold him in very high regard that's awesome i love him and i appreciate him yeah yeah that's awesome yeah dude i guess let's call him he sent me some very nice encouraging uh stuff this morning about oh really special no no i'm excited he's involved with it too do we uh sell it out it's getting pretty close okay yesterday made a good den i think there's probably like 50 total tickets left for both shows let's sell it out today yeah yeah yeah i appreciate it thank you i'm really excited for tomorrow so i'm pumped man you know and you're gonna you said you're Triggered, and then the cover of it is going to be you making a goofy face.

No, it's going to be good luck with your future projects, Taylor. G. Signing off, your name. G. Hey, G, yeah, I forgot to send you this selfie of us. Oh, my God, G G Thank you for DMing me I mean bro I'm just happy It's taken me a long time to attempt to do this

Because most of the time I've been doing stand up I would say like 75% of the time I'm like You suck at this what are you doing Like it's a very conflicting experience But you've been doing it for how long Feedback loop 15 years dude anyway this is your first special yeah first like our special yeah that seems super frustrating because it's a craft that the more you hone it the more experience

you get it doesn't necessarily it's all about the crowd right right totally you can have one bad crowd and you that'll like shoot your confidence down 100 but to your point about the you can do it for many years like you do sort of like build up the tools to deal with adversity where it's like okay yeah if this is working most of the time it must kind of have a radar to yeah and there's also like nuances as well like you can have a thing that's good that the people who are there aren't don't like and you can make excuses for yourself to keep your confidence like ah they wouldn't get this because of xyz they're dumb yeah and that probably just means that i'm not good enough but there is also something to be

said about being funny for everybody that person tends to not be that funny wow you want you know what i mean that's a really good point you want some people to be like that guy sucks that guy's a pig that guy thinks he's better than people whatever they have to say about you yeah you don't want to be able to please everybody yeah the universally funny people i usually don't like yeah yeah so it's an interesting thing like beat like killing is obviously extremely it's like the most important thing i think chris rock said it in that documentary he's like killing is not subjective which i was like j, that's pretty wild. That's a scary sentence.

But I also know people who kill who like, it's obvious to me why they don't have mainstream success and they don't get it. They're like, why am I not doing better? And I'm like, I know why. We all know. And I'm not going to pinpoint specifically what it is, but it's just, it's a thing where over time you learn about different things and it can kind of help you maintain a higher confidence level have you done stand-up in a foreign country yes i have and what's that like what's the difference there it depends africa i bombed

in rwanda pretty bad a lot of people have a lot of biggest venue i had performed it at the time you performed in rwanda for people who have no cultural similarities as you. Why would you do that to yourself, man? Well, dude, look, I think that if I were to go do that today, I'd be able to do it much better than I did it then. But yeah, this is a yeah, I was the first comedian to perform stand up American comedian to perform stand up Rwanda, which is like, oh, you were. Yeah.

One of those like things that you you go searching for. It's like this is not necessarily a hard thing to be the first of uh kingali international comedy festival yeah this is like a smaller venue dude the there's a you'll see the arena in this video at some point and it's it's like madison square garden bro what what are rwandan jokes like what's a what's a big Rwandan comic like is, uh, like, so this guy, Michael Singazi, he's pretty big. Uh, and they tour around Africa and like, he is a Francophone,

like he's French speaker. So he'll go to like the DRC or he'll go to West Africa and he'll perform in these fucking massive arenas, dude. Uh, it's pretty cool. And this guy's Babu. I think he's popping as well.

Like doing a bunch of cool stuff. Uh, did they perform in English? Yeah, they perform in English yeah they perform in english and he performs in english in kenya rwanda so they had three nights there was french night kenya rwanda and uh english interesting and i was like the headliner of the english show and like i was supposed to kind of they didn't even tell me how much time to do and i think i

did less than they were expecting me to and stuff look at that graphic oh dude they were supposed to come to america they couldn't get visas they were supposed to come this year and we weren't able to get them over here oh my god they're all good dudes and uh but anyway yeah i sort of bombed and i will say this places that have that comedy's newer uh don't have as developed of an understanding of jokes i don't want to say that that was the case here. I take full blame for eating shit, but I did notice that a couple of the jokes that we're killing would not kill here.

Okay. So much of comedy hinges on knowing like being very fluent in English. Cause it's all phrasing, like dialect, slang and they deliver emphasis, but it's just like, they know english accent like so many jokes are more than just knowing the basics of english hundred dude totally and like

they had said too they're like your accent is hard for us to understand like stuff like that um but uh like scandinavia are really really good comedy audiences they're all basically native english speakers and i can see that they will sit there and listen to every single word. Bro, this comedian told me a story once. He performed in Germany. Nobody laughed the entire set. And at the end of the set, he got a standing ovation. That's the most German move ever.

John F. O'Donnell. Germans don't have fun, right? They're sitting there like really listening and then a standing ovation at the end of the show. Unbelievable. That's their vibe? So it is interesting to see the different vibes. But overall, it was solid. I didn't like eat it that bad but it was not they they were being nice to me they're like oh you did fine when i talked to them recently but

i'm like dude i ate a dick let's be honest unbelievable you had to expect that though i was hoping to do well because i didn't want to let them down like i think they were excited that they pulled off this international festival and they wanted me to go up there and impress people so i felt a little bit of shame after to be honest yeah that's natural eating a dick what is the worst meal you've had in a foreign country that not because it was just a terribly served meal but it was something they they would have been proud of like that's their that's their worst delicacy a lot of food reviewers they automatically give the developing country uh a 9.6 a 9.5 this is amazing which a lot of it is it's a good question but some has to be trashed to your palate okay so

i i was in ecuador and i was struggling to figure out what to shoot so i started doing like i'm gonna eat crazy shit i started being that guy uh so i ate a sheep brain i uh out of its head like that pretty recent yeah it was a couple years ago they ax the sheep's skull open and then you eat the brain you eat like the face and shit the face is fine the brain was gross i thought that that was disgusting but that's that's what are they like oh ecuadorians oh this is chicken parmesan the guy sitting next to me also was like laughing at me the local guy because he doesn't like it either i don't think anybody really weird everywhere no uh it's called uh it's called uh fucking shit uh something did boy ego or something you're gonna give mook that yeah it's another pokemon's gonna pop up you i have a video of it.

Something not cabeza. I forget. Whatever. But they don't think that's good. One thing that people think is good that I didn't like, there's this cow intestine stomach in Nicaragua. It's called like Sopa de Mondongo. And it's like really rubbery. I thought it was like, it smells like armpit. There we go. That's what I was looking for.

Yeah, there it is. Sopa de Mondongo. Mook, No one's... Sopa de domongo. Mondongo. Mook, type that in. Sopa de domongo. Mook, I'm really testing your abilities here. Demon Go gameplay.

You can't get away from video games. But in general, I'm definitely adventurous with cuisine and I'll try stuff. If it's things that people eat, i'll try it in the moment when you were down in ecuador like how did you get up like to the the highest altitudes of the alps oh the andes the andes yeah um no but quito is like the second highest elevated capital city in the world. Do you know the first? La Paz. No, of course, of course. They have a soccer stadium that is like, if you're not from there, they have the most top field advantage in the world.

They're not a good national team, but they historically upset teams because it's so- In Bolivia? People are probably collapsing. It's so hard to play there. Ecuador is really cool. But I guess Ecuador is close. You were up

there yeah yeah i i got up to i think the the highest altitude i got to was maybe 12 000 something feet um and you feel it for sure uh i don't know that i've been higher up than that oh dude i did a hike in rwanda hung over that was like the shit like a hike that there's no path like you there's a guy. So you get lost. I fell down 50 times in slipping in mud, hung over so bad. I thought I was going to puke. Do you get mad at yourself for like drinking too much? And then like, cause I drink too much on trips and then I miss sometimes.

And I was like, what were you thinking? Yeah. Like I slept one hour. I was up late. Like I'm going on this hike. I'm just like, Oh, hike, whatever. And it's like 13 000 feet to this like crater volcano there's this random dude in our group who's like a girl let me slip it in her

ass last night i was like dude i want to fucking kill you it's like crazy it's called that's what ass sex is called yeah that's also that's called that attacking the crater abyss okay b-i-s-o-k-e hike rwanda we because wait mook spelled that right really the gorillas were too expensive so this is the other thing you can do where there's no gorillas but yeah you get to the top yeah bro it's like it rains on you and then you get up and it's pretty but it's like bro i'm fucking gonna die did you puke on the hike? No, I just stared down at my feet and like somehow didn't puke, but I thought I was going to.

You're the type of dude who was like, yeah, I'm doing this. What do you mean? I would be like, I'm not doing this. That's a big difference between you two. Bro, this guy Ishmael undersold it. He's like, what do you want to do tomorrow? He's like, we can go see the animals

or we can go on a nice walk. Nice walk. I'm on a nice walk nice walk i'm like a nice walk really this was nice but were you like locked in committed to this dude and like doing what doing an adventure because i would just be like nah it's a day off um interesting i i i definitely am burning the candle at both ends like you're a dude that does you says you say yes to opportunities correct even though your brain knows like it probably won't be that enjoyable my girl always says she goes i like vacation you like trips oh yeah i'm like that's crazy and true wow so yeah i yeah i i come back she goes i want to

come back rejuvenated you come back sick yeah yeah yeah i respect it it's ultimately for the like over the course of your life the better move but in the moment i'm like no way yeah i'm trying to be more in touch with that though i'm like i want to feel good while i'm doing stuff not just like feel good about collecting cool memories i regret like uh we were in alaska and kyle took a helicopter to a glacier and i went to a chocolate fountain dude one of my favorite scenes of that show. Thank you. Yeah. It's hilarious.

But I think about, I get like, do I, like how important is that? You swam in untouched glacial waters. It was great in the moment, but I don't like, I don't need that memory, but it's. You guys crushed it, man. It was cold. Yes. You filmed in Whittier, right? Yeah.

That was so cool. Whittier was, yeah, it was. The one building town. Very sad. The dude at the bod right yeah that was so cool Whittier was yeah it was the one building town very sad the dude at the bodega that was so funny very sad it was sad

thank you yeah it was sad dismal horrendous like the worst weather in the world where is it exactly

it's a two hour drive from Anchorage north it's just south of Anchorage south of Anchorage a little bit it's pretty close to Anchorage is it of Anchorage. A little bit. You have to go through the longest tunnel.

It's pretty close to Anchorage. Is it close? Like to the outskirts. Yeah. How long is that tunnel? It's the longest tunnel in North America, right? And it's one lane. And it's pretty eerie driving through.

It's like a mine shaft. Oh, I've actually been near there. Yeah? I've been to Kenai. Oh, yeah. It's on the left. I have too. Kenai's sick. Yeah. Play hockey there yeah really yeah no way that rules yeah oh really sewer didn't you guys go to seward we did yeah kenai is right there okay yeah it was nice yeah it's funny alaska has

this vibe and people would tell me this and i definitely agree with it it's like if you go to the bar don't talk to anybody Cause like they'll fucking fight you. Really? I didn't, I didn't get really. Yeah. And I like, I felt that a bit. It has like open air prison vibes kind of where it's like, yeah, it's so far from everything. And I think, did you get an angry vibe from people?

I got a vibe of just neutral. Like it was like they're surviving and accepting and there was no room for like jokes or humor interesting almost yeah and they're very dated yeah yeah odd place i'd go back oh the most beautiful place in the world maybe it is gorgeous what's the what's gorgeous i'm blanking what's the big city in the middle fairbanks fairbanks yeah i like in the arctic circle i like fairbanks? Fairbanks. Yeah, that's like in the Arctic Circle. I liked Fairbanks the most. Big WV rival.

I didn't quite get up there. Did you guys go up to Fairbanks? No. No. That's way up. Deep, yeah. Dude, I liked it way better, honestly. But also, I was there in October, so Kenai in October, it was cool, but it wasn't the

greatest. Fairbanks was amazing because it was like legit white sex just like and then outside of fairbanks it was just white forest as far as you can see wow and one night we went out in a full moon dude it was it was very uh eerie but very cool yeah that's sick did you guys go to barrow that's the farthest place no absolutely no we stayed south by in the anchorage area i think it's called now they gave it like a native name yeah i don't know i don't know i don't know how to pronounce it it's crazy it's about uh yeah i don't know i've seen like their doc on the football team oh there's a football team up

there it's the furthest north football team dude there's this diner called Niggy Vicput, bro. I'm trying to pull up. What? Niggy Vicput. Yeah, you don't get it. Come on, Mook. Niggy Vicput. He did three I's. Yeah, good. Did you find it?

There it is, bro. What is it? You're trying to go? Niggy Vicput, yeah. Okay. I was planning to go. I had a flight, and the people who owned the place we were staying were like, please don't come here.

The pandemic has not yet reached us. This is a little town. Please don't come. We can't force you not to, but please don't come. I'm like, this is how horror movies start to go. I was like, all right, I won't come. I'm like, all good. Begging you not to come.

I know. It's insane, right? There's no baby diaper changing area there, though. There's a review. Can you tell me about this tunnel? It wasn't anything special, just long. It was long and it closes. So there's these drinks at the bar in Whittier that are called tunnel missers.

Because if you're drinking there, which they had pass out three bars, which is crazy for a town of one building. Yeah, it is. And they were kind of cool. They had like shuffleboard pool tables yeah like games um is one of them like more upscale than the other yeah one of them there was like a like a restaurant bar like it's resorty almost and the sportsman's lounge um the waitress that poor waitress yeah but that was cool but they serve like these drinks i think i call like tunnel messers yeah and uh you if you miss the tunnels closing you have to pay like 90 bucks for somebody to come back out and open up the tunnel for you can you blast cigs inside we call them squares in chicago

wait really yeah we do yeah we're jagoffs but we mean well but uh no i don't think i think that's pretty universal set in stone We're jag-offs, but we mean well. I think that's pretty universal set in stone. No sigs, no squares. I've heard there's bars here where you can row squares. I hear about that. I haven't been to any.

I went to one two weeks ago. No way. Did you smoke? You have to. What is the loophole legally? I just think, I don't know. I probably just don't give a fuck. Don't give a fuck. Oh, yeah.

Enforce it. I talked to a dude that was, for a while, that was like a union worker for Chevy. It was like very typical what you'd expect from a cigarette inside bar. Interesting. Like old school guy, union dude, like the guys that all work there. Apparently it's like an old mob bar. But, of course, like, nowadays, it's just filled with people that look like me that are like, oh, this is cool. So, it's like mob bar presenting.

But, like, all of us are in there just... Being like, this used to be a mob bar. There's a cigarette machine. Oh, we have a cigarette machine bar in our, our, uh, town. Nineteenth hole. Yeah. TJ's and 19th hole. Those are fun.

You pull out like that rod. Yeah. Those are cool. Yeah. And anybody could buy cigarettes at any age. Baghdad. You've been right. I have.

Yeah. It's probably like the size of New York. Yeah. It's big. And like, there's, there's not good civil engineering. So it's like, should the traffic. Yeah. But they, uh, so there's no drinking really, but it's big and like there's there's not good civil engineering so it's like should the traffic you can tell yeah but they uh so there's no drinking really but it's like smoking like there are bars okay you can drink you can go you can go drink is there less like alcohol in it is it like utah or something where they no you can go drink proper yeah if you want but like yeah

it's not common but baghdad's cool dude baghdad's pretty i don't want to say like chic but there are places that are you can go and experience like a nightclub yeah well so i went to this like random men's club which was like kind of weird but it's like everything fun you could do if there's no alcohol it felt like middle school it's got to be there's pool galore video games hookah red bull that's cool and we brought our like our friend who was a girl in and she's like she's like men are disgusting it's pretty funny like a local oh because yeah a guy was like slamming red bull dude yeah but this is funny like we'd stop like she would dress normal and we get stopped at checkpoints and they'd be like where's she from

she's like i'm iraqi and they'd be like no no, you're not. She'd be like, what? You don't think we have pretty girls in Iraq? And the guy would be like, I don't know. Making a blush. Got all bashful. Yeah, yeah. That's funny. Bashful Iraqi. What's like spitting culture in Baghdad? I don't know.

I don't remember. But I did see, speaking of cultural things, a guy apparently like yelled something this is what he yelled actually we were at uh we were in babylon which saddam hussein rebuilt which is sort of a low-key cool move of him like it's exactly what it would have theoretically looked like and where the hanging gardens of babylon supposedly were whatever and there's this like maze where you can jump from stone to stone it's a little intimidating but it's not actually as far as it seems. So these guys yelled to the girl. They're like, hey, what if I lay down and be the

bridge for you so you can walk over me? A police officer went and basically grabbed him by the ear and made him apologize. That's a culture we need. Yeah, right? It was so wholesome, bro. So it's against the culture to come at women you

can't cat call anything if you were to be like your ass like no one would do that okay it's just like oh walk over me as a bridge it's like the craziest that is crap it's kind of good game that's good game yeah that's dude yeah a jacket using my body yeah so that was like a shocking cultural thing there uh but dude i'm telling you easy trip man like fully easy trip i believe that didn't get food poisoning uh we'll send mook there need a guide because it's it's difficult to kind of go city to city but like people are so nice man it's a great trip i'm telling you easy amazing well julio thank you we'll go uh we'll go down hop on the yak now oh shit that was oh that flew by yeah it was that was fun yeah good

shit thanks for having me yeah julio always a pleasure uh special will be somewhere socials yeah come see if there's tickets left come tonight if you're in chicago yeah at not julio uh on twitter and instagram at not Julio G on snap, baby. Let's go. Let's go. So yeah. Thanks.

I appreciate it.