A New Untold Story - Garage - A New Untold Story: Ep. 432

Episode Date: January 23, 2025

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Hey, a new untold story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcast, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad free on Amazon Music. You mean you're going to reply to what I'm going to say? No, you're just going to say, no, that's a new untold story. Hey, is that story over told? No, baby. It's a new untold story. A new untold story. Welcome back to another episode of A New Untold Story with Rudy, Nick, and Kyle. Episode 4?

We still doing that? No. That was stupid. I tried to get out of it last weekend. I didn't have anything on Manitoba, that's why. But is that what this episode is now? This is 432 oh so we just skipped over those three yeah there was just cuz you didn't have anything on

man it's a man it's a there are three fans that are going to motherfuckers from Brandon and the paw the paw yeah that's a city name the Hague is a cool city name Hague is a cool city name. The Hague is a cool city name. Should be the capital. Yeah, anyways. 432 is, I'm throwing this area code in the ring for a potential worst area code in the country to live in. Okay. Which is odd because it is economically one of or the most important and it has, I think the highest per capita income in the country.

It is the Permian Basin of Midland and Odessa, Texas. Well, that's the highest medium income, medium income. They are the largest producing oil field in the world. OK. But into Odessa, they have a hockey team. Odessa, we're Jackalopes,opes jackalopes they were in my division Yeah, so it is shitty. It is it is just shitty shitty shitty. It's in the middle of the desert in West, Texas There is no vegetation. What's the pop I? Think both cities have about a hundred thousand little more so decently sized decently sized

no vegetationly buildings because they're not like building up because they're afraid of a collapse. Mook pulled up Odessa, Ukraine. I guess. Yeah. Wow. Look at this gothic art. Yeah. That was stunningly beautiful. Now this sucks dick. Sucks dick. Nothing to do, it's boring. The people are unfriendly. The locals are unfriendly. And I'm guessing the oil and gas workers are also unfriendly.

Well, we know gas and oil workers from our hometown, and all they do is sexually assault and get DUIs. Blow, pixel, porn. I guess like, yeah, the one thing to do in Odessa is to make a lot of money and then have taboo sex with Like a high school football player. Yeah, I feel like I feel like the the they call my rig pigs Is that what you call the women that are into them? No the guys oh they're rigged pick yeah, they'll fuck any those dudes are hornier than NBA. I feel like they jack off to gifts

I don't I don't hate that. I don't hate either. I just yeah that's her vibe I feel like they're jacking off on the job porn on the job porn and popsicles. I don't know why yeah Yeah, they do popsicles horrible diets their tongues are always like faint blue. They're gigantic man. Yeah What else? guns Fuck of course they love so many when I was in Odessa the craziest thing about it was that they had so many every pickup truck had a had a what do they call those a

Back tread on me the no the mount that goes on the back window. Oh for guns. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, they love sound like a fucking stupid liberal. They don't even know what it's called. Not close to anything. It's four plus hours from the nearest big city, like including Texas cities like Austin, Dallas. And you'd think every In El Paso, you wouldn't even want to be close to El Paso, but nothing is around. But there's so much money there. And like the highway is just Mad Max.

Really? They had 900 plus fatal car accident, automotive accidents. That's more than Mad Max. Really? They had 900 plus fatal car accident, automotive accidents. That's more than Mad Max. In the last five years, the average is one every other day, somebody dies in a car accident. What?

It's because they're all drunk and driving. Oh my God. The infrastructure isn't prepared for like, there's a lot of oil rigs and trucks and just barreling down the highway, exploding on a regular basis. Oh my god. Rigs exploding turns me on. Oh my god.

An 85 footer. Yeah. Getting there takes forever. It seems like you're never going to get there. West Texas is a weird twilight zone. Look how it's sad to look at It's uncomfortable. There's worse places in texas. Yeah, but like this is like a populated area. Yeah 100,000 I guess people are moving in mass and getting getting rich and then wrecking and dying

They're just spending all their might probably like quarter million dollar trucks. Oh, yeah big sheds horrible home Those dudes truck payments are always like six thousand a month Over 48 months. It was the most monster truck as cars. I've ever yeah. Yeah, they like you know, but that's their dream They love this shit. Yeah, they love getting wasted watching like porn from 2005 like like they like they love watching What's what was her name? Jenna Jameson? Raven Riley was the one that I've, yeah. Like really, you couldn't see the pussy,

but she was naked. Like real low quality. Like Bush senior era bitches. Yes, they're still into that. They still watch like Showtime. They wreck and die. But they stun on us. Like the shop class kids from our high school.

They're like, oh, I'm gonna make more money than you then they're making like quarter million dollars at age 18 Significantly more like a lot more and they're all yeah, they're always like oh you're going they hated college the shop kids Oh my god, but they would get like engineering degrees in mud Yeah, and then they're starting salary be like 450k. Oh my god, and they lived the life. I guess they had different rules in high school. They only had to go for shop, because everybody knew that they weren't doing anything else. Right, and they just chilled all day.

We would be conjugating verbs, and they would be doing pills and building spiral staircases. They would build very elaborate spiral staircases. Stunning. Stunning, with the twists and knots in them. And eating McDonald's and drinking a beer. Yes.

They were allowed to have beer. Is that a yingling in your hand? Do you remember? They had no rules. One of the kids, his last name was Hec-a-thorn. We went to school with 50 Hec-a-thorns. Hec-a-thorn. I think it's pronounced differently

depending on where you're from. I always said heck. Yeah, I said hack. Okay. He ran for president. They were popular kids because they were the majority. And he ran for president of the student body. And do you remember what he changed?

This was my senior year, your junior year. I remember him, but I don't remember him being president. What did he change? The name of shop classes? He thought that was feminine Yeah, that's what it was it's it is garage It makes more somebody like we're not calling this shop He was laying the groundwork to later call it monsters garage monsters that yes

Yeah, they were walking it passed with overwhelming majority. So yeah, let's shop is gay We don't shop. They would just walk around the hallways with a table sticking out of their backpack. Yeah. They would, their school supplies. It's a table. It was just, like the first day of school,

they were excited because they would bring in their brand new wood. Yeah. They were like, haul out a shed after school and put it in their truck. I didn't know how these guys would show up to school covered in ash and soot at like 530 in the morning They were covered in grime and again

They had a backpack with like lumber and a deer carcass and hold one individual piece of loose-leaf paper in their hand That's not a joke those type of kids were so ill-prepared for other things other than crafting They always had and call it was a wide-ruled paper too because they hated yeah the idea of college Yeah, yeah, they they were on they were on energy drinks real early the monster. They were drinking beer They like monster yeah, they had the keys the camo keystone light drawstring backpack Filled with there was like a shed in it a whole full fucking like a steel vessel Fingers a steel oil drop. it's like Hermione's magical bag full-size tent and they would they would kill you for comparing that They would call you they would be the loudest of slurs

Hands covered in blood from the band saw injuries They had like a monster energy pencil, you know, I took one of those classes They had like a monster energy pencil. You know I took one of those classes. Some normies did. Yeah I took drafting which was like building the schematics. Yeah. And the teacher was Mr. Clark. I brought him up before because he lost his finger in school.

But then it was years ago and then it healed over and it was just like it was still he lost half of his finger but he worked with his hand so much that the callus like built back up to where it was a full length and he would poke you so hard with it. It was his lucky finger. Yeah. Yeah. And they, I'd be like, who are you? You're six foot seven, 320 pounds. Our football team went one in nine last year. Why don't you play football? And they'd be like, I'll talk to coach. He won't let me cause I can't skip October and November for hunting season. Dude, I know exactly who you're talking about. That was a crazy pull.

Coach won't let me skip October for deer season. We would have been so much better at football. That's the bulk of the season. The entire season, you can't skip it to go hunting., but honestly they could just show up to the games and probably Dominate they were the biggest good motherfuckers. I've ever seen the big trucks They were big and they did like the stereotype was debunked. They had huge dicks. They would show they were all very sexual They were always fucking like their Brittany body count was higher than anyone else's regular body Yeah, they have more those guys fuck more Brittany's why or I?

Then the spellings then some teachers have fucked women. Yeah, their Brittany body count was in the mid-20s, they were 16, and they would fuck everyone of all ages. They would go to Jamboree in the Hills and fuck 36-year-old women. Always older women. They always had a girlfriend though who looked 30, but she was in high school, and they would blow their noses on her cotton t-shirt

Treat them like absolute scum And they were getting into bars they were going out to the bars on the way it was crazy I know they were drinking after school like you want to go to rotten bucks get some beer and wings And they'd be like nah, I got a fuck my aunt Rhonda's friend Cindy They're always fucking like their Parents friends, and they call their mom be like mom. Can you leave the house so I can fuck aunt Rhonda's friend? Like alright, thanks. I was so bring back chips Those dudes love chips

Fucking for two hours. They were always talking about how long they fucked. The amount of spitters, they would buy Fiji water bottles, pour them out just for spitters. To the brim. Brown water bottles. I saw a guy fill up an entire Fago Moon Mist in one period.

Unbelievable. They've led the league in littering and picking up trash to do whatever with it. But they like, we want it to be cool with them. I was afraid of them. They kind of sexualized me and I played the Twinkle. I got sexualized by him too. Yeah. One of them.

Because one day it was like his car, he he had a big, long wooden paneled van, and we helped push it out, me and my buddy. And that dude was like, as a thank you, he just sexually assaulted me every day. Oh yeah. He would bend me over. They would do that. They were really homoerotic, but equally homophobic.

It was a weird yin and yang, because they would try to rape you But the second you played into it they'd cut they'd hate you and hate it. Yeah, you had to fight back. Yeah they would like log into Facebook like once every two months and just their status would just be like Monster cock and come Those dudes were always getting heartbroken on Facebook there they were they were spilling their heart. Yeah, I love guys exposing Brittany's getting exposed by Brittany's

Themselves to Brittany's I think their hours were different cuz they would like show up to school like 330 they were getting paid Are you making a salary? Yeah, they were getting paid to go to be a high school student. Yeah, just fucking cracking a beer Yeah, the rules of society's didn't apply it just yeah, cuz it was in the basement of the high school And it was just a diff it was I was horrified Yeah, Nick's on time to shop class with my helmet and goggles on. Cause there was always a weird classroom that always got bumped down there, cause I had Spanish down there.

And I just walking through, I was horrified. They had to take ESL classes because they didn't know how to speak English. That was like, that was the one class that fucked up their GPA. They had to take a class, like a seminar on how to like learn how to fill out a scantron. They're like, they couldn't, they failed that. And then we'd graduate and like we'd look at their

Facebooks and they'd be like quarter millionaires right out of college. Right out of high school. With their own house, their living room was like filled with like dirt bikes. Yeah, they stunning houses and then just the inside they had no idea what to do Because all of them had that chandelier that was uh, that was all every you know, like in the NFL It's like what was your first big purchase with the paycheck? Every one of those guys bought the chandelier that was made out of deer antlers. Yep A must buy. Yeah, that in a pool table with like the Jaeger Meister logo in there Yeah, yeah a lot of coaches that were like kind of trashy, but super comfortable with cup holders. Yeah, yeah

What a life I? Think we can I think we can maybe talk about them the entire time I'm so enamored by them because like if I if I was near a high school today our high school and I was in The basement I would be more intimidated than I was our high school, and I was in the basement, I would be more intimidated than I was in high school. I would want to impress him so much. Yeah. Maybe that's like very specific to our area.

I don't know. No, I know exactly what you're talking about. I think you had it more in bigger numbers than I did, but I had that guy. I had that guy. You mentioned like becoming their twink. Like those dudes had me like dancing yeah If you had gym class with more than three of those guys yeah, they would they would pull my legs up

They would flame me Maybe having a blast but the second I smirk they would be like quit being gay Yeah, this one guy would have like four fingers in my asshole and one in my cock hole and the second like I like Yeah, you're like you're being gay. Yeah, if it looks like you enjoyed it, all of our enjoyment is gone. They were hazing all day. All day.

Fingers in the, like, yes. Dude, they would haze teachers. Yes. They would pick on teachers. Oh yeah. Dude, a sub walking into that, that sub was like, gonna get spanked. It would spank subs.

They would spank subs. This to the laws didn't apply. And if they got in trouble, they were like, I don't need this shit. And then they'd go get a job that was $420,000 a year. I don't need this shit. You guys need me more than I need you. They would always hold that over your head.

You can't expel me, I quit. Yeah, I had a buddy that always did that. And then they'd land on their feet immediately their big ass feet huge Biggest steel-toed boots with the tongue just Fucking not resting on anything it was weird because those those guys would call me I was like like a look kind of a punk in high school and I had tight pants and their pants were Significantly tighter than my tight and they would make fun of me for my tight pants.

I'm like, you're wearing tight pants. Yeah, but there's Levi's. They were wearing Wranglers. Wranglers, excuse me. And they were starched to oblivion. I had some crossover with the wrestling team. So I got invited to some of the parties. Those heavyweights.

Yeah, I actually went to one of the parties. There's big, big fires in the middle of the woods. My boy Marcus Black, he showed up, we showed up to one of those big big fires in the middle of the woods my boy Marcus black that he showed up we showed up to one of the parties and They just picked him up and threw him off a cliff Do you like I remember I was like and like he was like playing cool He was like he was like no that's cuz they fuck with me But he was covered in respect. I think he had like a compound fracture the the rest of the night I can't even imagine receiving that news. They did what to market

That's how they operate they would be like hey, yo, and they pick them up They just tossed him off It wasn't a big cliff, but it was a cliff that went into a hill and he rolled throwing a man at least a Teenage was buddy Varner we walked in his crazy. It was buddy Varner and one of his big boys and I fuck with buddy Varner. Yeah, buddy's a man one of them were like Already did a tour in the Middle East. Yeah, one, yeah, dude.

A guy would be a sophomore and a vet. He'd be a veteran. He'd be at the VA Boozin. Mm-hmm. He's like 20. With a pretty significant kill count in the Middle East. He's like, I gotta get back to high school. They all had naturally occurring CTE.

It's just like from being outside. Yeah, going to the rope swing with those guys. Oh, I had never done that. Yeah, like the life expectancy. The chances of survival were like high, but not high enough, like 80%. But the thing is like those guys had already lived full lives full lives I'm at a freshman that was divorced hated that bitch

They all lived with their girlfriends apartment This might be too niche in my it really isn't because I know exactly what you're talking about it I do like those dudes love going to like the minor league games, too Then the nailer door indoor football the Steel Valley smash we had the smash and the nailers Yeah, smash them. Yeah, we had some cool minor league smash is way better. No, I like nailers nailers is better No, smash is what the smash have to do with Wheeling? It was an indoor football team. Right, but Smash... Their logo was just literally a clip art of Godzilla. Well, Smash implies violent pulverizing. So does Nailor. And it implies defeating your opponent by a wide margin. But good cities have, like, it's like the Steelers, it's like

a reference to what the city was built on. The Nailers, it was the Nail City. Wheeling Nailers is lame. Steel Valley smash? Steel Valley smash goes hard and so hard. Why? For a football team, yes, what you do, you smash your opponent, you smash them in the score box, it rolls off the tongue. No, but anything you do after Steel Valley

is gonna be good. Yeah. Yeah, it could be anything. Right. Wheeling nailers, that sounds like rollerblading Vietnamese manicurists Nailer is someone who a Maker of nails not even a hammer of nails a nailer is weak. They make little one inch rods

meticulously They don't even hammer the nail. God fucking damn it. It's a cool logo. I guess Steel Valley smashes That was like a one-year project though, but they were so lucky to have it was 99 in 2000 My mom had a crush on the quarterback Wilkie Perez There's our celebrity server. I remember my mom was the first time I saw it's the only time I saw my mom lusting That's gotta be tough. She got she got she got his autograph on her like dress shirt. Oh my dad Oh my God. Oh my God.

Yeah. That was weird. That would fuck it up. That is, yeah. I don't know, that name, search his name. Wilkie Perez. Yeah. These guys weren't even like high school starters.

No. This is like the lowest arena league. Yeah, my mom loved Wilkie Perez, dude. Oh my God, that's the point where you gotta pull poor assignment like you got a lock in like tone it down Damn, I forgot all about that that just resurfaced in me that was weird Yeah, cuz it was they turned into the Ohio Valley great dude. He found him that dude signed my mom's chest In front of me at dinner I Might have to call her and see if she remembers holy shit

Was it Greco's the dessert pizza buffet? That's where every is always like the celebrity. We had a dessert pizza restaurant called Greco's and it was just chocolate chip pizza the whole place buffet of chocolate chip pizza And it was just chocolate chip pizza the whole place buffet of chocolate chip pizza Like cookie no they know really yeah like the consistency of a cookie no is the consistency of pizza, but with the Cookie the melted chocolate chips yeah All right really quick break to talk about our best friends at game time How you use it? I use it. I just bought Billy Strings tickets all the way for June.

I'm excited to go. I heard great things about that, dude. I got Nate Bargatze from my family and some Hurricanes tickets. Yeah, everyone's happy. Yeah, it's great for gift giving. It's a super, super easy to use app. They have the Game Time Picks, which only gives you the best possible deals

and it filters out everything makes it so fast You can buy tickets. I usually people do research before they buy their tickets with this you just go You know, you're getting a good deal. It's worry-free stress-free click on the seats you want you can see where you're sitting from you get the price you it shows you the average price and You buy them and then it's in the app safe secure and I love using it I use it very very very often and now you guys can get tickets you know if you're in the Chicago area go see Kelsey Ballerini go see Chris Stapleton go see see flip turn you're seeing flip turn

flip turn whose flip turns on RC Drive is opening for them there okay so nice $41 on Wow you guys can go see anything you want. You can download the Game Time app today. Use code untold, U-N-T-O-L-D, to easily score great deals with the new Game Time picks. What time is it? Game time. All right. New sponsor alert.

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Equifax Vantage score 3.0 changes for kickoff users starting under 600 who made their first on-time payment between January 2021 and March 2024 Payment and credit activity outside kickoff can have an impact on your credit. Individual results may vary. Yeah, well, dude, yeah, those dudes. Sorry, those dudes loved like the minor league area like they when I when they love going to minor league games because it was dollar beers, they get to you. Eyes there, they get you eyes on the way there and back. Yeah, they loved us when we played hockey

They didn't understand anything about hockey, but they just enjoyed the violence It's oh, yeah They were good to have though because they would stick around after the game and they'd be like man like I don't know anything about hockey but man those Teams just hemorrhage money from like the city and I remember that the Steel Valley smash had cheerleaders and it was girls They took volunteers. I think it was from like the dance dimensions or dance and wheelings they would get like girls in our class to be like the volunteer cheerleaders do you remember the junior smashers junior smashers do that's fucking real as a weird name for cheerleaders that's

so weird I don't know what they call the nailer cheerleaders it was probably I mean it probably not good dude when I was back to Odessa one of the funniest things that ever happened to me during a hockey game Playing junior hockey can be very depressing especially in Texas It's like your one hand you might make it to a high level on the other hand It's just you know pill addiction so junior hockey like the stakes are pretty high as far as the ceiling You know pill addiction so junior hockey like the stakes are pretty high as far as the ceiling Yes, but where I was playing was like a few might make it It was like it was like turtles yeah being born You know I mean like a couple are gonna make it but most of them travel by

Anyway, this one kid had like reaches any played for the Jackalups And I was in the corner battling for a puck and this kid just goes you want the puck like what and he goes I just don't give a shit It was fucking insane did you take the puck yeah? Yeah? I love everyone like higher level athletes all agree to just give up on themselves like the regular season of the NBA They do do the entire regular season of the NBA. That's like harmonious. It was unbelievable move We're gonna say sorry? I just keep thinking of the shop class kids

and I'm like, they had hilarious friends that didn't go to the same school. Oh yeah, they would invite friends over. Just invite like guys that graduated six years before them. Oh yeah. And then you'd like go on field trips and they'd show up. Yeah, they would bring their homies on for the field trip. Yeah.

I love those guys, man. Like lockers filled with mulch. That was a lie. No, but like, they would have to go to school shopping, and they would have to go get like dirt clods. I got to get like, oh man, like Mr. Clark's asking for six clods this year. Got to get six clods, three stones, and then I don't know.

What a different world. But you were really born into it. Like there was no intro class. The first class you would take was like very advanced shit. Right. I also was always jealous of their trajectory, like you said, was just like dead set from the get go. Yeah, no, I know what I'm doing. Awesome.

The rest of us were like, I don't know, I kind of like drawing, like maybe I could be a hockey player. I'm gonna try to be an artist. It's like being the Butcher's Boy in Game of Thrones. You're mapped out. Yeah, they're mapped out. There's, I mean, it's, people that are probably in that are probably like, that sucks. Like people that wish they could have chosen. It's kind of gotta be a relief.

Security is high. They're not stressed. They're making a ton of money. They probably, yeah, yeah, they're doing it. They're doing it right. Uh-huh. There's no wrong way they're doing it. They're doing everything they want to, like hunting, fishing, drinking at their place. Those, like, for the amount of Mountain Dew those guys had, they had the most fertile of cum. They had the most fast swimming cum. Because they would just, they had the most fertile of cum. They had the most fast swimming cum. Because they would just, they would fuck, and then the chick, like, I don't know, those girls would not be pregnant for nine months.

They would churn out kids. It was very quick. That baby was very quick. They would churn out kids to three to four months. They would microwave a baby. It was insane. It was insane how fast they could. Your kid is 20 weeks premature, but massive.

Yeah. 10 pounds. Yeah dude. That kid's in the Nick U but like filling out a queen size bed. Big fucking premature babies. Obese premature babies. With like fucking calloused hands. No it was like

Ugly as fuck in like the Facebook page. This is wildebeasty birds. This is wildebeasty birds. This is wildebeasty birds. hands ugly as fuck and like the Facebook page this is wildebeest you birds yeah it was like alien vs predator it's like an alien the baby whenever anyone gets hit by the face hugger

they give birth like 12 minutes later the way those women could gestate they were so good at gestating yes yes they I've evolved honestly Yeah Those I We should get some high school big boys in here to mm-hmm. I would love to I remember a lot of them

And I liked them. I did so they were very funny hilarious Because they didn't have a care in the world no Just like they just they would get aggravated DUIs Very funny. Hilarious. Cause they didn't have a care in the world. No. Just like they just, they would get the aggravated DUIs on like their 12th birthday. And then they'd be like, yeah, it is what it is. Yeah.

It is what it is. Yeah. They would run the mile at school in PE class in jeans. But there would, they're the trail of debris that they would leave when they would run. It was unbelievable. I had one boy that kind of actually ascended. He was on that trajectory. My boy Cooper, great dude. And then he like shifted and just became a vet. Wow. I don't think any of- Nobody's no, no, none of ours have done that.

But ours, like they had so much political power in the school because they love to do this thing. They would vote who the ugliest is. Do you remember this? I know who won your class. His initials? Rusty. Rusty? Rusty by Hannah. He's the man.

He's the man. He won his junior ANC. He was the only person to ever go back to back. It made the year. It made the year. He was proud of it. He go back to back. It was on his like, it made the year. It made the, yeah. He was like proud of it. He loved it. The girls loved it too. He had hot girlfriends. Yeah, there was no like, appearance hierarchy.

No, no. Almost if you were like rough looking, it was better. No combing the hair. Yeah, they had, yeah. Wait, the teachers would approve of voting the ugliest kid. So they started it for fun, but it was undeniable,

and it just made the yearbook. Dude, there was a middle school that one of my buddies went to, Isaac Newton. You want to admit, what? You can't just say Isaac Newton. You can't just say Isaac Newton. Is that your buddy's name or the middle school? No, no, the name of the middle school.

Okay, that makes sense. And my buddy, you ain't cool with eyes Yeah, and they had like a legitimate through the school teachers approved they would vote on the hottest boy and girl We had that that's so weird. We've I think I've blogged it I found our old superlatives in my eighth grade and They vote they was the teachers that voted and they had best legs. Oh my god, dude Best looking best couple with best cup. Yeah. Yeah at a middle school eighth grade We I know who won best legs and was voted by the teachers

Yeah, high school is almost worse because like they actually they're forming and probably are yeah nice legs To the teach Take a UEE Fuck my rig blew up Midland slip oh Tommy Lee Jones is from he went to Robert E Lee high school in Midland which has been Jones is from, he went to Robert E. Lee High School in Midland, which has been renamed to Legacy High School. Laura Bush went there.

Okay. Tommy Lee faced like a baseball glove. Yeah, he's a- That's a man who's out in the ranch. Yeah. Yeah, he is weathered. I think he's cool. He's a good actor, right?

Dude, the Japanese love him, and so he'll go over there and make a fat stack of cash to and really strange Japanese commercials that don't air in the u.s. I read that he does some really weird Japanese commercials And he does like every year and it's just him making a fucking weird appearance I don't know why they love him, but he's in the majority of their commercials are all Tommy Lee Jones yeah, he's probably like so foreign to them. Yeah, cuz they don't know what face they they've never seen a face like it right Laser beam eyes He's in a he's like oh my god big a-lister over there just from commercials whoa

He was speaking in Japanese. I don't know is that him Is it not I don't tell me yeah, no, I think you know Spanish, okay? Go to Midland, Texas notable people I found something interesting, okay? Or maybe you can just believe me and I'll tell you who say there's a arts Tommy seltzer is he on there Tommy seltzer the happy Tom happy Tom go to his page oh no what's

the bands Ian I can't really see I don't have my glasses you're gonna keep my content his band is called Turbo Negro. Yeah, he's a white man And I'm from Norway. He's yeah, there's no reference to Midland, Texas on any of his pages You know who actually used to reference this band that just I just remembered is BAM. Yeah He was the intro to wild boys. Yeah. The Turbo Negro song. Yeah. They had some...

Oh, really? They have this song Sailor Man that's actually kind of a... That's him dressed as a sailor. Age of the Pantalons. Yeah, Sailor Man was Bam's song for... Those guys loved all those, like, Norway rock bands. Remember Elementality? Him.

Yeah. Elementality? Bam's song for his video part was Turbo Negro. Oh, okay. Sailor Man. Why did they... They had like a cult following back then, but I was looking at their Wikipedia and like Here's some of their reviews

Swedish broadcasting DJ Lars Aldman described their sound as Radio Birdman meets venom in an institution for sexually abused retards Radio Birdman meets Venom. Their sound featured fairly tormented and distorted noise rock. Is that good or bad? I think they were very anti-racism, but they did blackface for a while. That's how you know you're anti-racism. Just wild. All of the very vulgar names on their albums

What are their album names their best one is ass Cobra? You can't take the vows out of that. It's like a startup That was crazy Ask Cobra the ass Cobra era Interesting stuff. Yeah, I think he's really progressive though. Yeah. When the rest of the punk-oriented world tried hard to be lo-fi and real, Turbo Negro, as usual, went the opposite way, creating a miniature suburban death punk opera. Seldom have pop culture, darkness, and desperation blend it so well come on

That's it's not like you're your territory That type of music yeah kind of Wait, but this guy this is him the band reclaimed the name turbo negro and looked in This is about their blackface era and his quote is so there there we were backstage with our blackfaces and wigs and little hat smoking pot And the absurdity didn't cross our minds nobody mentioned it Wearing blackface and nobody saying word

And then also like finally having the realization after smoking weed I shouldn't be doing this Yeah, imagine the the scariest and anxiety hitting on that. Oh my god that would yeah looking at your I get anxiety smoking weed when I'm doing nothing wrong Yeah, then I go fuck I was in blackface What did what is with him in Texas nothing? There's no no mention I think someone like trolled the Midland, Texas Wikipedia by putting this guy in there. I think he's from Norway Maybe he lived in Wisconsin. That's what it said yeah Interesting spud web got his start at Midland College Speaking I'd over those I was same. I I was looking at you the same pie to spud web. Yeah, really he's the wemby of KB's

What does that mean just a KB that plays basketball? He won the dunk contest. Because it was so shocking. I'm sure his dunks weren't the best. Yeah, right. He just dunked. That would deserve a win. That picture is crazy. He played with Manute Bull, so I think they have a side by side.

But also Muggsy Bogues, who's even shorter, played with Manute Bull. So that picture's fun. Yeah, with all the basketballs on the head. They have a side-by-side also Muggsy Bogues who's even shorter played with Manu ball So that picture is fun. Yeah with all the basketballs on the head. Yeah, I Like those guys that that that class of dudes like the Earl Boykins of the world Which one is that is that five seven or five three five three So that's not that jarring no it's not three basketballs difference and I'd be even taller yeah you you would be Mugsy

so were they good at basketball it was in the NBA like good in the NBA he had probably I think he had a decently long career that's so impressive. That's really impressive. Totally. Yeah, I don't know what his stats are. Yeah, long career.

Yeah. I mean, Earl Boykins was good for the Nuggets. Average 7.7. Who, how short was he? I can't remember, he wasn't that short but he was pretty small, Earl Boykins was. I can't remember how tall he was. Yeah, he wasn't horrible.

He was pretty good. Kyle, you wanna take this one? Oh yeah, dressing up during the winter is tricky for men. We don't know whether to put lots of clothes on or even more clothes than that on. A hoodie makes us look like we're running late for college finals. A blazer makes us feel like we're going to a funeral.

Bird dogs, they got it covered. They'll do the trick. Bird dogs. They sent us Dogs, yeah, right there. Yeah, I hate wearing dress pants because I'm so uncomfortable. But those feel like sweatpants. They feel like sweats. Inside and out.

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this is uh january 23rd was the first day, or the first time a woman got a medical degree. And- What year? 97? I think it was the late 1800s. Really? Yeah.

But- Was she an OBGYN? No, but the reason I bring it up is because she wanted to become a doctor, couldn't get in anywhere, and then finally she applied to some college and all the faculty didn't know what to do because in that time the dean would look over every single application. They're like, we don't know what to do with a woman, what the fuck is going on here? And so they then were like, all right, we'll put it to a vote. And they made it so unfair, they said that if one person votes no, it's

out. It's not happening. And all the males... Well, it's inclusive. They don't want anybody being uncomfortable. It's the most inclusive way to do it. Yeah. It's like so anyways. So all the male students voted yes as a joke. They're like, this is going to be hilarious. And then she just became a doctor.

But yeah, it was weird. Blackwell. Yeah. But it was pretty fun. January 23rd. But did you get higher of anywhere women? Yeah, yeah, mm-hmm That's a scary. That was really I should make a vomit noise for this very impressive dead woman. Yeah, but here I am That's the path. I've gone down right she's she is just yeah an incredible woman, and I just made a puke noise Which I feel guilty for but yeah pretty dry one It's just sort of like a collection of interesting things there was a trial called the Greenbrier ghost in

1897 where this this lady died and Her mom went to the detective and said I saw her. She came to me and said that I was murdered. And she went to the detective and was like, yo, like my daughter's ghost came to me and told me to like look back into this. And he did. And then they found evidence that she had been murdered. And then it was the only time a ghost has been used

in a trial. That's cool. Yeah. I think recently there was a documentary about somebody who used a dream in a trial and it worked In what way I think they were like I dreamt that this person did it I think it was recently Yeah, you can get away with a lot And then they just investigated that person because like in this case they had the ghost thing and then the guy already kind of had suspicions

He's like alright. I'm gonna look back into it, and then he found evidence He was probably just afraid to get killed by the guy or somebody, I don't know. Yeah. But yeah, it was weird. Anyways. That is weird. But the only like really funny thing is that in like 86, the USS Pueblo was like a American spy ship

that was poking around North Korea. And they were like, kind of like, you know, spying. In 86? Yeah, or I know 60, I don't know my dates are all fucked up It was like what below 68 sorry So is that just when did North Korea become North Korea? Before then I don't know when Anyways, so they were poking around and they got caught by two fishing ships

They're like so what what's a fucking fishing ship gonna do well they were then brought the the boys oh But Do you know one of the name of the two fishing ships yes, I do rice patty one And the second one Rice patty to okay. Yeah nice, and that was in the thing. I was like that cannot be fucking real. That's funny It cannot that's like some Boba Fett's Star cruiser you know what it's called yes, slave is it just slave one slave. It's a slave one slave one

Yeah, yeah, it's crazy, but yeah those guys had a tough. Go really tough. Go the USS Pueblo Yeah, the USS Pueblo and what you got for that? Well, Pueblo is a town in Colorado. Yeah. That is just like very forgettable, not much going on. Oh, they renamed the slave one to Fire Spray. I mean, that's stupid. That's stupid.

They should have renamed it to Fire Hydrant. But the North Koreans got really pissed. They got held for like 8 months Should have renamed it the fire hydrant But the North Koreans got really pissed they got held for like eight months and the North Koreans got really pissed because they would do these propaganda photos with them and in every photo the the soldiers would like put up a like a subtle middle finger and They didn't know what that meant. Oh nice later, and they got real pissed. You don't want to piss off your North Korean captors man I wouldn't know no you're pro. You're pro You love North Korea did do you see them at the fucking Olympics? They're winning medals

They're taking selfies or smiling ear to ear Yeah, but if they don't win a medal I bet you they are like blown to smithereens. Yeah They regularly win medals shoot him out of a and lose medals yeah Because a pretty dry day. Nah, so be it. But Rice Patty 1 and Rice Patty 2 really got me going. You know what I did this weekend? I went to, you did too.

You did it as well. Wanton Don had his diaper party. And for those that don't know, Wanton Don is going to be a father next month. Congrats to him. And he had a diaper party, which is a baby shower, but for men. And he sent, it was very nice of him to invite us. It was a clear invite, clear as day.

He text us, hey, I'm having a diaper party. It's a all male baby shower. Just bring a thing of diapers. And we're going to have like a cool boys night. Kyle, you went too. Yeah, I did and I didn't bring diapers, but I brought I guess the worst thing I could have brought. I'm a fucking woman. You brought your girlfriend. I know. And I walked through those doors. And there was a heart. Donnie was putting on a record and he turned around there was a Literal record scratch the first time I think it's ever happened in history because he was putting on a new record

because the boys were Taking mushrooms and listening to marching songs from the Crusades and the last thing you want it was a yeah It was just a telltale boys night, and'm in there is no right option from there. No. No. So you I understand I killed the vibe and I understand you're not going to like you guys have to act like you're fine with it. She's in an uncomfortable spot. Oh, she had to have been so uncomfortable. But did you get I walked up and I was like, she's still here.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah But it was so awesome because half of the party was upstairs and half was downstairs and I got to see Everybody's reaction when you brought a chick and then Donny was like let's move the party downstairs. I was like, oh here comes a second one I'm that guy. She had to have a new group of dudes. Come on. I'm that guy. She's that girl. You responded to the text, like, sounds great. I'll be there.

I didn't read the text. All I saw is a time and a date. I didn't know what a diaper party was or a male baby shower. The one thing you don't do then? Yeah. Did you get yelled at? No, I yelled at her. I said you should have left immediately led the scene

There was but there was there was some other mistakes too like I mean Cory Rutledge everyone bought like You know like six diapers or whatever yeah, whatever they sell them in and Rutledge Got his from Costco and fucked up the order and he had like a 1200 he bought 1200 diapers 1200 you ended up door dashing type. I did I thought that was for like nine months So those things are gonna be expired. I took a picture expired I wrote that took a picture of all the boys shoes, and then this pair of heels in the center I mean that tells the tale right there just surrounded. Yeah, that's how it was at the party Oh, I never heard of a male baby shower. I had neither

I was confused as well, and I could buy fuck you like the other dudes with girls Yeah, because I got a text like why didn't you bring me? Yeah, you said this was a boys night Do you can't get away with that lie no? Because it's not a real it doesn't this doesn't exist. Yes, they do. Do they? Yeah. Is this a thing? I was asking you like a party. This is a thing. I was so confused It was just it was in the text I can conceive of it Never heard you didn't understand it It's a baby shower. It's a baby shower just for the guys first result

Yeah, I never heard of that Here barbecue and instead of a shower gift you bring diapers. I Just for the guys. First result. Yeah, I never heard of that. Beer, barbecue, and instead of a shower gift, you bring diapers. I eat so much Chinese food. It was good. It was great. I damaged my asshole. But I don't know what the plans were for the evening, but they, I think they all pivoted. They did. If they wanted to do guy stuff. They weren't able to.

That was fun. We were looming. We had fun. I had fun, yeah. No, it was, everybody ended up getting in trouble. I'm sure like Donnie's wife was just like, who's scrunchie is this? Yeah.

In trouble. Probably shedding hair, women hair. Women hair everywhere. The old records that Donnie had were so bad We know they weren't they were the one was bad. There is what you know which one was the one was We went from listening to Bill Cosby stand up those to the marching songs of the Crusades, which is too early It was way before the good instruments. I thought it was kind of catchy Was the what was even the sound it was probably like I think it was like flute and I thought it was kind of catchy. What was even the sound? It was probably like, I think it was like flute and lute.

It was like, Yeah, it was bad. There was more silence than sound. It was. It was not what you wanted to song. Not what you wanted to tune at all. Yeah, exactly. I don't even kind of.

Yeah, go from Bill Cosby stand up to marching sounds on mushrooms. That's what you do on boys night. It was like some kind of like torture. We stand up to marching sounds on mushrooms. That's what you do on boys night It's like some kind of like torture Who's on your is on your sweatshirt? This is Pinky and Piper. Oh, that's sweet names on the sleeve. My girlfriend's sister got it for me for my birthday which is

Which is Sunday this isn't some no lame shit either. This is like so I ordered your birthday gift months ago Hasn't even been shipped yet You'll get it. Yeah getting ahead of it now Yeah, whatever. I don't expect a gift. No. I got a very nice gift. There was some for some reason sent to Kyle Thank you to whoever in England is a fan and sent me my Gay card yeah, you got a premium membership gay card premium membership gay. You know miles of dick You have to suck for that. Oh, it's measured in like

Astronomical you know you got the premium gay car shit is just Timelessly funny. I think you could go back to any era of human history and show that to somebody Show that to a dude dude and he's gonna laugh Premium membership, that's the biggest slap in the face. It was just a gay card like that's kind of corny. Yes premium membership Yeah, a person got this custom made for you Yeah, for a guy in England a guy in England. Yeah, so a British dude calling you gay. Oh Yeah, no, yeah, I could show that to Napoleon and he would laugh.

He would laugh hard. Really hard. You could go back further. Caveman maybe. You could show that to Cain and Abel. They're just like, yeah, you're fucking gay. Premium. Premium's that?

Ooh, my lord. Those guys have like one fig leaf covering the smallest of dicks. Yeah, you are fucking gay. It's crazy. There's yeah, you are fucking yeah It's crazy, and then you know just cherry on top using the fat Bam Margera photo of me Photoshop by the way, but yeah, so yeah pretty proud. I didn't know but now I do So shout out to that guy. Yeah, it's for it's really cool. Kyle was vibrating giving it to me. He's like Honestly yeah for every birthday, I just want gifts that I can give to Rudy that insults him. Yeah. Yeah, that's sweet. Thank you send our way

Man anything else It's coming up Super Bowl birthday birthday 32 I always use that as the litmus test for old 32 32 is like the the benchmark for old because it was how old kip was in Napoleon Dynamo Did your your kip year and I was like, oh my god, it's's old I better be much younger by the time I get married to a black woman It's 32 He was living at home though

Yeah, but saving money doing he was mm-hmm Yeah, you're doing better than kip ah I know kip seem happy. He did you knew what he wanted? What was her name Lafond? The font on the soap fucking funny? Is kip funnier than you Everything he said was gold. I don't know what chatting. Oh my god. I just remember him doing the yes Kip is funny. I Haven't seen that movie in a while. I just remember him doing the yes With the kid was funny. I Haven't seen that movie in a while. I haven't either

No one's even tried to do a movie like this. It was just the perfect one-off Yeah, I totally agree Where's this director done anything else? I? Don't know man. I just use kind of walk that. Like, how do you top Rex Guando? Oh, Uncle Rico. Uncle Rico throwing the steak. Throwing it, I think that's- It's so funny.

Throwing the steak. Throwing the steak at someone's face. I think that's the hardest I've ever laughed. In a movie theater. And then like, the funniest part is that they're like mid conversation and he's like hold on watch this what state is it every I know this is hilarious he takes He takes Kip's snake. What the heck are you doing? That's what I'm talking about. That shit is so funny.

It all ages, I think Napoleon's like, shtick maybe got played out, but everything else is perfect. Like not doing too much, but just enough. Absurd, but not too absurd, but not too absurd like realistically absurd That's that shit's so good We have to give some bonus week flowers. Thank you to Lucas. Oh big. Thank you to Lucas big. Thank you to Mitch does Pat big thank you to Ebony Ebony Kirk Kirk Kirk for making it happen.

Gano, Reborn. Gano and Reborn. Yeah, that was fun. It was really fun. I would love to do, I think what we're going to try to do is every once in a while, maybe monthly like a special episode where it's like not a podcast format, but we like some sort of thing we do. Some sort of activity prompts, exercise, challenge, project.

Yeah, maybe more fun. We banked those five episodes or four episodes and you guys were sitting here like, we could just do this. All the time. And take off for the month kind of thing. Yeah. That is cool.

But it was fun, I thought, it was fun. Yeah, I liked it. We'll have to do more of that. We'll think of some more stuff So that's we're definitely gonna do we got to jump back into Platton Yeah, I want to send that guy a lot more details. I can definitely do that Yeah, but me I mean we can hot now we can hide when it comes to the role-playing I think cuz all of the shit I just made up on the spot like the most of that

But you said sin Salvador was a creation of the game and not you I don't remember making up a sin salvador That sounds like a name you'd make up Samson's sacalose Man do you see where I could Thought of sin salvador maybe sans. I don't know. It's Brazilian. Yeah Sin's a cool first name. Yeah. Anything else? No. Moop.

Go birds. Go birds. Yeah. I think we all want them in the... Yeah, birds bills. We're not rooting for them, but we want them in the Super Bowl. You're not rooting for them? We like the commanders more, but we want the Eagles to play in the Super Bowl for that For a good Super Bowl. Theatrics of Philly. Oh, I like oh, I like the commanders so much more Yeah, I spent the entire weekend just watching ball like alone pretty much. That rocks. It was amazing. Mm-hmm Sunday I did not leave my couch. It was a perfect day. Sunday. I did not leave the computer chair

I have a hemorrhoid. We played video games for 14 hours straight Rudy and I and Marash my boy Joe And for 13 yeah, we played this game called Baldur's Gate where you can be anything and Rudy's just a naked chick with a perfect body I made her so hot like you and like you start with clothes on Rudy immediately clothes off And he's like wait Why do I have underwear on and then he had to like you had to watch a YouTube tutorial of how to? Yeah, take off the underwear take under so and he's like wait. Why do I have underwear on and then he had to like go you had to watch a YouTube Tutorial of how to take off the underwear So then he's just yeah your your chick

You were like you were we were all making our people and you're like my chick is so fucking hot and opium and I'm like you're You deserve that card. Mm-hmm, but it's awesome be playing with because I'm playing as my sick-ass dude and you're Just I get to be with like a naked chick. Mmhmm, and I'm useless yeah, you don't do anything I'm really I was really bad. What is this like Lord of the Rings meets Sims Sims? Oh, I don't know it's it's essentially just Dungeons and Dragons, but with a game. Okay. It's fucking sweet We wait about four hours. That's an ideal day is to waste 13 hours without realizing it was unbelievable I don't really know we suck. I'm feeling played 13 hours. We're all level three. Yeah, my god just plays guitar

Yeah, I don't know is emissions and quests. Yeah, it's a big big-ass map, but we don't do we Yeah, wasn't It was just four guys confused for 13 hours, but happily confused. That's fun We failed 90% of things we did uh-huh Yeah percent had to hit Yeah, it did mm-hmm. It did that was what we did So wait next week No, that's Super Bowls in two weeks. Mm-hmm, right? Yeah, okay. I want the Chiefs to win. Fuck it.

Fuck you. I hate that. I like that. There's never been a three-peat. Three-peat would be crazy. I just hate them because of the Chiefs. They're in the Broncos division. I want the Chiefs to win a, yeah,

like a two-nothing Super Bowl. I'd be okay with that. That'd be awesome. I'd be okay with that. Two-zero would be funny. That would just make people hate the Chiefs more. Two-zero would be the best. Yeah.

I don't know like I I Really wanted the Ravens to win even though the bills are so easy to root for I don't know why I just always have like The Ravens and they just never get it done. It's fucking sad. Oh, they've won a Super Bowl. Yeah 13 yeah, I guess like bills don't get done. I mean the bills don't the bills don't get it done true True, maybe this year. all right. God bless you all