A New Untold Story - Gin & Glass feat. Aidan McCluskey - A New Untold Story: Ep. 396

Episode Date: May 16, 2024

shoutout to nerdy galo, throwing stars, emu's, bali, and of course aidan. follow @aidsman109 on socials and shoot him a venmo because merch is... 0:00 - NERDY GALO 1:30 - Throwing Stars 20:00 - Emu 32:30 - Aidan McCluskey Ads: Gametime - Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code UNTOLD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). Rocket Money - Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to https://RocketMoney.com/UNTOLD. Factor - Head to https://FACTORMEALS.com/kb50 and use code kb50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, a new untold story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad free on Amazon Music. I know it's an audio based format, but neither of you boys have complimented my sweet shirt They say Nicholas yeah, dude, how long have you had that on just put it on Not bad right he put it on he open that yeah, yeah The worst what stupid as fuck horrible. This is not fucking stupid. Horrible font, horrible color scheme. What is that? Navy blue and white? Black. The collar. Black and white don't work. Oh for four so far, Kyle. The collar's pathetic. Collar? Yeah. How's the collar pathetic? It's pathetic. You're wearing a fucking toadstool around your neck. Shut the fuck up. That's tight. Is that a mushroom? No, I don't know what it is. Did Frank Ocean make that? It did. It was a gift

Okay, yeah, I'm not an egomaniac like you who buys shirts with their own name on it This isn't an ego move. It's just brand awareness. Oh, this is the new anus drop The Nicholas shirt no actually Pilar text me about We haven't put out merch in a while, and so she was like, hey, we need a Fourth of July drop, and so coming Fourth of July, the, you know, the Untell This Bitch shirt. Yep. Our best yet.

Yes, it'll be exactly that, the skeleton with the gun, but the shirt will be an American flag, and it'll say Fourth this July bitch It's gonna do really well Colors or is it gonna keep this black and white dark theme? What is it gonna be is it gonna be like red white and blue same exact skeleton, but the shirt is red white and blue Yeah, that's a piece. Yeah, that's that's gonna be sick. So I think our merch should just always be that skeleton shirt. Yeah with different Blank this bitch. Yeah, and it's oh it says fourth. This is like fourth this

What better do you have a fourth this July yeah, that's perfect perfect Yeah, so that'll be our next drop and I think for every holiday. Mm-hmm Yeah material is the same ones they use for ultimate frisbee jerseys. Yeah, it's a paintball jersey. Yeah. But like I think Christmas. Well, I don't know. What would you what should we have on the Christmas one?

Something with I'm thinking chimneys, Santas. My mind's going to stocking and stuffers. It's going to presents and gifts. All right. So get the trees and wreaths. It's going to what is it going to? Figgy pudding. OK, yeah, wait, wait. Figgy this pudding bitch. Yeah.

See how we brainstorm? Wow. That was awesome. Figgy this pudding bitch. Yeah, this pudding bitch. And yeah, that should just be every piece of merch that we have Collect them all mm-hmm Dude, I'm getting some pressure from up top and down low to attend this Kyle festival Yes gathering live events leads that you know what I think I have to go this can you convince Kyle to go to that? I'm adamantly against it, and I was like I could try but I'll go with him and pretend to be

Kyle and she was like no She's trying to uphold the integrity of the fest I said I'd go undercover Kyle and no no people keep saying I have to Go what am I missing something? No, it's a city's Texas Kyle, Texas. Yeah, you go to yeah, whatever It's been done before I've never been DM'd more. It's not like, yeah, it's not like, they're breaking their own record. Yes. And this is like a joke that's been done.

Like, I remember there was like the biggest Facebook group of Josh's. Yeah. Like that's played. Like it would be funny if it was not in, if it was, if the gathering of Kyle's was in like Bangalore, India that would be funny That would be funny

But this is like rotisserie chicken stuff. Yeah. Yeah, I know I hate it when people are just like I dreamt about something last night but I dreamt something last night and wrote it in my notes and it was that I was on Family Feud and The big board I was up it was it was the big board completely it was like ten different things and Steve Harvey asked me the prompt was strangest times to watch Family Guy that was my dream last night no that's hard I know cuz you don't want to like 4 a.m. isn't that weird that's not weird when I do it I've consumed my most Griffin then yeah maybe 6 a.m. 4 a.m. Isn't that weird that's not weird when I do it I've consumed my most Griffin then yeah, maybe 6 a.m.. 6 a.m.. You get the people still up the insomniacs I bet you 6 a.m.. Is the weirdest time to watch Family Guy or on your PSP on a crisp fall day in New York Not a time 2001

Yeah, we're looking for time what the Steve Harvey disappointed face Rudy look at that for a little bit 2001 It's a 9-eleven time yeah, oh shit There he is thank you Just look at that for a little bit. Oh Child oh, that's a gift gift. That's a gift Pull up another one for him to look at thank you No, actually Rudy You're mad at me. Yeah, actually

And I will get out ahead of this rightfully so Yeah, you almost got me arrested. Yeah, I did. You almost got me arrested. Physically? Yeah. Yeah. What did you do? Directly, I meant.

No. You weren't with him? No, he indirectly. It was a, when I pieced it together, what had happened, I couldn't believe it. So I'm going to the airport. I put a throwing star in your backpack. Yes.

You got your ninja star revoked? Yes, I did. Oh, that's horrible. That's worse than my baked beans and fake Louis V. It was bad. It was awful because one, I was fearful that I was legitimately going to get in trouble and I was also equally embarrassed. For a ninja star.

And the context. Sure, Ken. No, a ninja star. No, you don't. And the context surrounding it as to like how I would end up in that position So I went home this weekend. I was flying I'm going through security my bag gets flagged whatever and they're looking at it And I look up at the x-ray machine and I see unmistakable shape

Ninja star and I literally I literally go. Oh my god, and he opens the flap and he just pulls it out I'm like, ah I'm I'm so sorry. I was trying to do a nice thing by just sliding it in. Yeah, it was a gift And I totally I just obviously yeah didn't know was in there and I was like, oh my god my friend Nick I just said my friend I blabbered and then I was like as I was saying my friend Nick Gave that to me as a gift in Chinatown. You can get these and I was like shut the fuck up It's more embarrassing to be caught with a China star than being caught I would have just cave in like yeah, I'm a terrorist. I would not admit that and you really explaining yourself

Yeah, I should know it. So do you have it? I should have said people are lucky you found that So you don't have no they took it They have like flea markets for things like that right? Oh, I'm sure they have katanas Oh, yeah, all the all the taken stuff at an airport you can buy sometimes they display them Yours is probably a display as I was kidding. They really do that. Yeah, they'll display that There's a website where you can buy all that yeah and boy like an elk on a wall What were you wearing when they found a China star anything ninja II? I looked like the kind of dude that just went on a trip

to Japan. Blue hair. And I mean, I was looking as dumb as I usually look. Yeah. But the guy was laughing, and was like, it's all good. And I was like, all right, cool. Of course, he's not like an official. Yeah, to the point where I almost was like, all right, well hold on, I could be fucking dangerous.

Like, it's not. Yeah, you could be. It's like, he's like, he's thumbs. Yeah, but then I start walking away, To the point where almost was like all right well hold on I could be fucking dangerous But then I start walking away, he's like oh, sorry hold on this other guy came It was like we got to talk to you, and I was like what the fuck and then I went to this other area And they were like hold on a second. We just got a like get your ID and then You're on a list yeah, they're like we got to get your ID, and then we got it Just get CPD up here. And I was like, what?

And then it was Chicago Police Department. And I was like, what the fuck? And I was like, I got a flight really soon. Like, you know, any idea how long this will take? And the lady goes, you know, we just gotta get CPD up here and do all that. You know how it goes. And I literally said, I literally do not know how.

Yeah. So you and I are actually on the same list cause I had a big knife taken out of my bag once I was given a knife at a show it was it had um Had Theodore Roosevelt on the handle and then it was flipped out big knife put it in my bag forgot about it. They took it Did they send they did the full thing? No not the police So yeah, I think I looked weeby enough to where they were just like,

Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. And then the cop came up and I was like, holy fuck, am I going to get like arrested? Yeah, I could be the funniest arrest ever. It would have been the funniest arrest ever. And after a while, the guy just like came and talked to me and they're like, all right, you're going to get like something in the mail. I was like, am I going to get like fined or anything? And they're like, all right, you're gonna get something in the mail. I was like, am I gonna get fined or anything?

And they're like, no, it's just a letter that says don't bring weapons onto an airplane. I didn't have all that. Let's frame that in this office. I was like, that makes sense, that makes sense. I was like, so is there any long-term repercussions? He's like, no, but if you attempt to bring another weapon on an airplane, there will be an issue.

Yeah, so I guess I can't, you're gonna have gonna really check your bag before you go to airports. That backpack has a lot of pockets. Yeah, I know. And you walk around a lot. Yeah. And I poop a lot.

You poop too much. You poop too much and you are a, when you're at the urinal next to the stall, you wait extra long to try to hear something. Yes, you do. No, I don't. I was just next to you, you wait extra long to try to hear something. Yes, you do. No, I was just next to you. You were done peeing and you were waiting to hear me wipe. You wanted that satisfaction.

You wanted to hear. I was like, and I was done. I was like, you're going to hear me muffling the toilet paper on my ass. You were waiting for that. You were done pissing. What does your wipe sound like, Kyle? It sounds, I always say, it's the most vulnerable sound

in the world Once said that it sounds like he's trying to start a fire the most vulnerable position to be in In on it, but I didn't even want him hearing it and he did he waited to hear it And I was in a rush, so I let him hear it so you're welcome. I didn't hear anything congrats No, you're you're always getting you're always listening, and he dresses too weird to be a free Yeah, We know yeah, cuz it's all we always know it's you because here's these fucking pants that are this wide and I want you to know You need cut. Okay. I'm not like you. I'm not bashful about shitting. Oh, I am yeah, I know you are also you are Making yourself. Kyle. They can't you can't hear the shit if you if you you want to hear me what I don't give a fuck About that and also I didn't hear you wipe I

Was scrolling Twitter with my dick out. And so you're scrolling with your dick. It's not long enough. And, um, then you turned on Tik TOK on max volume. People always say that. I guess my ears are going bad. I caught Tommy smokes watching a Tommy smokes video while we were shitting. Oh, and not even caught doing it in a public restroom. He just loves him

Yeah, and I saw your shoes And I did anger he did yeah I heard him finish peeing. I was like a dude. You're just standing there Are you self-conscious about the sounds your bowels make while straight? Oh, no, they're CIN standard Yeah, so I only shit on the lower rim because it spreads the ass cheeks about the sounds your bowels make while straight up? No, no. They're standard, yeah. So I only shit on the lower rim because it spreads the ass cheeks. What?

You don't use the wider seat. You mean the seat that you need? Yeah. You'd fall in? No, you spread. No one does that. No, I'm not fucking serious. That's like a nightmare mishap.

That's like as extreme as skydiving. That's- Spreading your ass? No sitting on second episode Sitting on the non seating part of the toilet, that's fucking crazy. Yeah, I guess you're right. Yeah Hmm. Hmm But yeah, you almost got me arrested those fucked my bad It was a cool throwing star too, man. I'll get you another Kyle you're gonna catch my

Flat white ass at the Braves at Cubs Next weekend the 22nd or 23rd. I forget. It's like 620 got my tickets on game time. Oh I'm the application going for the unpaid. Oh, yeah, what? I'm going for like unpaid, whatever, yeah. What? I'm going for like a work thing. Oh, you are. To get that little VIP section. I actually am not. I bought my tickets on Game Time before that.

I wish I would have done that. Yeah, because I'm not gonna be with my coworkers, which is amazing. That is ideal. Ideal, and I've got my tickets on Game Time. I got my Mamma Mia tickets on Game Time. I got tickets to a Cleveland Guardians game that I'm going to in June game time yeah get out ahead of it

Get your shift for June July August now on game time On what Game time Tickets on game time I tried to do it without reading the script and I just couldn't. It's the blue man. That's right. Thanks to Game Time, the official ticketing partner of Barstool Sports, you should not have to worry when you buy tickets to your next big event. Game Time is the fast and easy way to buy tickets to all of the sports, music, all of

that stuff. They have the flash deals for sudden discounts, zone deals for when you're feeling flexible. And their lowest price guarantee, which means that if you can find the same seats for less anywhere else, Game Time will credit you 110% of the difference. Take the guesswork out of buying tickets with Game Time,

download the app, create an account, it takes seconds, and use code untold, code untold, for $20 off your first purchase. You're a ganja guy, right? You're a ganja head. Relapsed last Saturday, optimistic relapse, and smooth transition into just three-chi. I'm doing the three-chi flower, it's amazing.

Yeah? And I'm doing the gummies too. True strain vape is what I've been chiefing on. The vape's are great. The high is unlike anything else because it is great, but I know exactly what I'm getting every time. It's my favorite high on the market. I don't like surprises when it comes to drugs.

No, that's the worst. Absolute worst. It's a guaranteed tweak. So imagine if you could just eliminate that 100% completely. No surprises. And the 3Chi has that covered. It's backed by science. It's backed by us and science.

That's good. No more hit or miss with inconsistent or poorly dosed edibles. The True Strain delivers consistent, potent, and personalized effects you can rely on every time you use it Go to three chi calm. That's number three CHI calm to find your true strain today Yeah, I'm gonna re-up right now Cool cool cool cool cool. You know what's not cool Pokemon number 396. Oh my god. It's real quick. It sucks so bad It's just a bird It's not even one of the better birds It's starly. It's that's just a pigeon starly. It doesn't have any extra things A pit of is just a pigeon starly is just a starling starly is just a bird

But there's no put like what is like the have you ever magic have you ever seen a bird that looks like that? Yes, pretty much a bird We do this every fucking time. That's not a Pokemon. This is the first evolution. They're not supposed to look cool. The first looks like a baby. If it's a Pokemon...

The second looks awkward. It should have something that's not achievable by the... What gives you the right to say that? Because it's Pokemon. Are you Ken Sigamori? It's for kids, it's battling creatures with special powers and attacks, and it's just a bird. No, dude, it's, you keep on doing this and you're not listening to me.

It should have like a funnel for a nose. I'm speaking and you're not listening to me. The first is always pretty regular. If it had a goatee, it would be, it would work. That's just a bird. A ninja star? A goatee would be fucking tight, that is true. Starly, not a Pokemon. Okay, it's based off of Starling.

You know who's more of a Pokemon than Starly? Starly. The tall, afro-Australian, light-skinned, lesbian, soul-pop singer who was remixed by Ryan Ryback. Call on me. She's more of a Pokemon. It's got the alfalfa. Can you pull up starly mook? That's one of my one of the best songs of 16.

No, no starly the singer. Starly. Singer. What does she look like? Yeah, she is more of a Pokemon. Yeah, that's fair That's a good point. We're getting to visual boys now to visual visual back. I described her perfectly You did I guess so but starly evolves into staraptor, and that's a sick Pokemon It's the first one is never cool like Charmander is cool

Yeah, it's a dinosaur. It's a lizard flaming lizard. It's a lizard. I'm learning about dinosaurs right now You're learning about dinosaurs saving those from my late 30s, but what yeah, so wait. What's what's I? Was are the best I did that in childhood But you want to you want to like now with an adult brain you'll go wow mm-hmm these were yeah These are real. I just started watching YouTube videos I don't have a favorite dinosaur so I kind of was trying to figure that out it sucks though because stegosaurus They're basic bitch answer. No, it's not. Yeah, it is Rudy. No everyone picks stegosaurus Everybody picks t-rex you fucking retard they pick

T-rex has to be number one no huge gap huge gap and pterodactyl or T-Rex has to be number one now huge gap huge gap and pterodactyl or Raptor or Brontosaurus Brontosaurus. Yeah, that was a pretty obscure pick I But the names are too hard. They're like the ones that the only reason like t-rex is well t-rex is awesome, but What about velociraptor? That's everybody's favorite triceratops fuck yourself Apologize to me or else I'm gonna put another weapon in your bag. What is this like this is there? But yeah, the names are super difficult to remember But yeah, I've been watching YouTube videos about oh you're in the business of

Memorizing I want to try to find a favorite one. It's disappointing to know that they that they didn't really look cool They weren't purple. Yeah, Yeah, they were probably brown. Feathered and brown. Yeah, the real velociraptor looks way less intimidating. Looks like an emu. Yeah. An emu? An emu.

That's what it looks like? Probably. The Utah raptor looks way scarier. That has the big toe, right? The big hook toe. They both do, but the velociraptor has a lot more flowers velociraptors became chickens Yeah, they just look they're kind of fast. They have plumage Yeah, they look like the size of a turkey of the Utah Raptors way fucking scarier and a cooler name emus are scary

The other emus are they beat people in a war? They did yeah, they beat Australians in a war wait what emus beat? Australia the Australian army in a war. Wait, what? Emus beat the Australian army in a war. In like a battle? Yeah! In a battle with... No, I think the people lost the entire war. The human army lost to Emus? Yeah, I think so, man. Australia. Yeah, the great emu war Was a nuisance wildlife management, and I think they lost I can see that one

Yeah, dude I Did not know that the great emu war of night. That's way too late to lose a war to burn year was it 1932 yeah, what kind of weaponry did we have? My grandma was alive. We had good guns. We had mustard gas. Yeah, look. Yeah, they lost.

He's like the Chris Kyle of Australia, the guy who choked out an emu. They did not lose. They lost. Was it one town that lost to heaps and heaps of emus Farms been complete does that they like Suicide skyrocketed during the war Prices collapsed oh my god

Tens of thousands of farmers have been plunged into hardships and poverty while trying Oh, because the I'm very little yeah The emus were destroying how did the emus kill they attacked the food source what? their arms would They just trampled They lost the shooting begins Which side?

It began on November 2nd dude an emu like going undercover into the Australian military They paratroop in because they can't fly they got caught like an inglorious bastards when they put up the three yeah Wait, that's that's a bunch of fucking feathers. Yeah Australians raise it like this. They don't have a bunch of feathers Yeah, dude, they had a replan Yeah, they lost man poor Australia those Australian should never ever be taken seriously never No No, I mean no and they always have just like wild shit going on the animals like the dude who just who got who socked the kangaroo

In the face yeah, or Gary the goat you guys remember Gary the goat No, it's like this Gary Carter this old who's Gary Carter's use a goat at one time Oh get the goat of what player oh yeah, what team? In my head, it's the blue Jays, but it could be anything every old player I signed to the blue Jays in my head. Yeah, he's a blue J. Okay. Yeah Mm-hmm another bird I've lost the I've lost the war to a mess Yeah, and he's dead

Grinnell got run out of our apartment by mice my mice. That's, that's an infestation, and that's not, you didn't go to war. I mean, we were using weapons that killed. You didn't die. We didn't, no, yeah, but yeah, you're right. That's more of an infestation versus a war. Can you look up the Emu War mortality, or the sides? I wanna know.

The casualties. Yeah. If you die there you Australia sustained 210,000 casualties that's too much and what the 1000 were killed I died from their work this is is this not a metaphor the emu war no they lost to the birds To 200 emus died that's it what a ratio oh my god what a bloodbath Unbelievable That's interesting there should be a video game about that yeah, that should be the next call of duty Instead of zombie instead of cod zombies as cod emus

Did they ever do one where you could be like a kamikaze pilot because call of duty did shooting up a fucking airport as a terrorist Yeah, I know that I don't know if they ever did kamikaze That would be far more acceptable than what they did at the airport Yeah, you I remember at the beginning of the game you could choose to skip that part. They added that retroactive Oh, okay, I think I don't know. That's a crazy thing to add and they would yeah Yeah, that was when they did the thing where there was basically an invasion of the United States and they're like, you know It would really make this more United States more USA as if there was a mass shooting It was an interesting Social test though because you actually didn't you weren't getting shot at obviously so you didn't have to kill anybody You could have just followed them through and walked through but I mowed down. Oh, yeah. Yeah

Everyone. Oh, yeah, I made sure I would go kids first then women that man I registered for the... Hopefully I make it. I applied for the Bali time chamber. What is that? It's a legion of men who get together in Bali and they're like-minded and all you

do is lift weights, exercise, talk about crypto, network network and visit the most beautiful waterfalls in the world no women. There's no way you did that I had to sign up I had to like send a photo of my sounds like Kyle my whole physique from different angles my Instagram It's the lamest thing I've ever seen you look that up on there inspired by Dragon Ball Z like I guess They have a time chamber. It's the mostest thing I've ever seen. Can you look that up on there inspired by Dragon Ball Z like I guess they have a time chamber It's the most pathetic thing in the world That's the coolest part Dragon Ball Z is cool, but no they're like they're saying this is like what does it say? Is it if you grew up watching Dragon Ball Z?

You'll remember that the characters would often go to a secret training camp where time and gravity were distorted That's right, so they could supercharge their growth and get stronger in a short amount of time The only thing is and there's like what if it was real and then this is it no it's not I Hope you get there. It's the first it was like an award first and only experience like this in the world How misleading is that they tried to market it with like a sick video? with like the AI voice saying how cool it is and Everyone just kept calling it gay The AI voice had to come back and say this is not gay

On the Instagram. Can I um can I see your physique picture you sent in no why I? Deleted that from the deleted What was it revealing like yeah, I wanted to make it I hope you do man Yeah, is there do they have a social account yeah, it's Instagram all right look can we spam them except Kyle yeah? Oh, yeah, please some KB no swag. Yeah, oh Wow Can we spam them except Kyle yeah? Oh yeah, please KB no swag yeah, oh Wow Yeah, well, let's just spam that and we'll get you in at Bali time chamber, Bali time yeah I hope you get there and Gary V is there. I don't think this is a Gary V thing

They're talking about like it's a you're a brotherhood we could you can go to battle with on a daily basis and that spoke to you? I guess. That sounds awesome. That sounds horrible. It sounds like the worst thing ever. So you... We're in an epidemic of genetic losers and outcasts are now getting rich.

They're getting jacked and they are becoming like internet personalities. Yeah. But they're still just... They're outcasts. They're losers at their core. and they are becoming like internet personalities. But they're still just, they're outcasts. They're outcasts deep down. But losers are now like, they think like, they found out how to get muscles and how to, and they got rich via crypto. And it's an epidemic.

But you're a part of it. Well, I want to, yeah. That's how I operate. If I want to stop hating something, I have to actually, you know. Start to like it? Like, I humanize them. Like, I can hate them from afar via the internet, but if I attend this, I bet you I will get along with the men. Can you go to that top video on the right?

The right? Yeah, so that was left just look at the thumbnail that's then they had to argue that it's not gay that is gay oh yeah it might actually be gay yes it might be gay dude that's the thing It was advertised as very gay. Oh that guy in the back is free massages What was that free massages Yeah, oh my god massage free massage is the best facilities only for meat You'd ask me what my like specific diet was that was just out oh My god So what do you do you know when you hear back? me what my specific diet was. That was just that. Oh, my God. So what do you do? You know, when you hear back.

I haven't heard anything back. Pulling for you. No, thanks. Did it cost anything not to apply? How much is it expensive? Is an expensive probably. You have to do it. I would love to. Do you think you'd come back different?

No, I can adapt and then unadapt pretty easily. Unadapting is just adapting. So I can adapt on end. I can do a cycle of adapting for infinitely. I can adapt, adapt, adapt, yeah. But I think unadapt works. I would adapt to that community and then unadapt. Unadapting is just adapting to something else. Yeah.

Adapt for days. Yeah, man, I hope you get in. That's exciting. Thank you. Houston, we have a problem You're spending way too much money on subscription services Luckily, there's rocket money Kyle. You know about that. Yes, and it is Fascinating how much I didn't know I was spending on monthly subscriptions

I did it just for the curiosity and that yeah, I didn't even need the money back I just wanted to see but I got the money back. I've been a member of equinox for three years. That's That's a big cost uh-huh Uh-huh, it's not great, but rocket money will get in there cancel it mook You were playing paying for World of Warcraft right still on yeah get on rocket money get it all figured out It's the personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills to grow your savings.

Rocket Money has over five million users that have saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all of the app's features. Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash untold. That's rocketmoney.com slash untold.

Rocketmoney.com slash untold. I'm starving for a good hearty meal. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Factor meals are so so good I remember a few months ago I taste tested some of them there are all cheesy ones but they were the best they all cheesy your cheat everyone I tried was cheesy but you can get some non cheesy options tastes like delicious dinner entrees you'd pay a pretty penny for at a restaurant if you get into that Bali club For for gay men would you credit them would you credit factor? Having your body get right I would write I would try to appeal their

Whatever their dietary rules so I could bring factor to Bali. Yeah, it's that good. It's that good It's that good for you. It's delicious from breakfast to dessert Stay fueled with easy nutritious options. They have smoothies that I love to sick of sip on Isn't it amazing how we don't build a tolerance for food? It will just forever be so so good Wow every single day for the rest of our lives. It will never get worse It will always be amazing. There'll be a nightmare, but thank God factor. You don't get tired of it It's good every single time head to factor meals comm slash KB five zero and use code use code KB five zero To get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your first month

That's code KB five zero at factor meals comm slash KB five zero to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next Month while your subscription is active factor I Don't know if this is going before after Aiden, but we're back Yeah, we have an interview or had why did I say interview and it wasn't at all we talked with Aiden Why did I say interview and it wasn't at all we talked with Aidan? McClaskey plus boy boy boy McCluskey plus You good? Okay, well I said well you guys are gonna see this when we intro him when he's actually here or this could be afterwards, dude

Let's do it first. I think I said McCluskey. You're like no I think so man. Yeah, I said McCluskey definitely not and they're like no and you and him were like no McCluskey you're like no McCluskey. No, I don't think so man. I said McCluskey. Definitely not. You and him were like no McCluskey. Me and him Aiden said that? I remember. We'll be able to- He didn't correct you with the wrong name. Okay. He's a comedian that would be funny. That would be funny funny funny. Um With Aiden McCluskey AIDS man 109 What's the 109?

Because there's 108 other AIDS mans out there. Yeah, figured as much. Yeah. Dude, I would have guessed there was a lot more AIDS mans. Yeah, that's it. Well, I mean there's, I'm- Sierra Leone has a ton, right? Oh yeah.

Yeah, is that the most? Soto... What's the- Iswatini... You could just name the African country. Oh shit. No, not all. Probably a hefty amount.

Yeah. I bet you're not Ghana. I bet you Ghana's pretty... Okay, I'd have to look at the charts. Okay. Aidan McCluskey or Kluskey? Kluskey. Nice. Have you been on this show before

or have you just been on the Yak? I've been on the Yak in Son of a Boy. Yeah, not this show. They're all the same. To catch people up, you're a homeless comedian? I was. Was? I was a homeless comedian.

Okay. I upgraded, I started renting out, my buddy's got a closet. Wait, you live in a closet? Straight up, yeah. Like a closet closet? Like a shoe closet. A shoe closet?

All right, you were never homeless. You lived in a car. Kyle, that's homeless. We'll get to that. No, no, no. Oh, he's not homeless. He lived in a car. Living in a car is 100% homeless.

Yeah, it wasn't digging for half smokes. Well, I don't know. I think if you had a mattress in the back of the Yeah, it wasn't taken for half smoke. Well, I don't know. I think if you had a mattress in the back of the car, that kind of makes it a home. If you were sleeping in the back seat, that's homeless. A little bit. Could you stand up? In the car?

No. You could hardly lie down. You could crawl. You could just sit and lie. You could hunch when you had to take a piss. But on your yak appearance I would recommend watching it, but you you talked about Living in that car. Yep some skin lesions you had oh, yeah

Yeah, you had some seeping seeping your dick skin was falling off. It was yeah I mean it pretty much was it was weeping as the doctor would dude Like a willow. It's like you fucked the elephant's foot in Chernobyl, right? Yes, yeah, yeah that I got from a stripper Dude, but that was via stripper pussy. Yeah, yeah via stripper pussy. Yes, you're certain. It was the puss Yeah, since we have spoken this was probably eight months ago. Have you? Upgrade it in any other ways Home you live in a closet now?

I got a closet. I got a van now. Okay. Yeah. Oh. All the better. Yeah. So I have the car and the van. Wait, you have two vehicles? Two vehicles, dude. I had to come up. Yeah. Which one are you sleeping in? Van.

What are you doing with the car? That's my Minneapolis car. Okay. We're back home. Yeah. And so what's the van like? What are you doing with the car? That's my Minneapolis car. Okay. Back home. Okay. And so what's the van like? What do you got? I just got a little Transit Connect van.

Like a little white Ford van. Did you drive that here today? Yeah. And you're driving that, you're en route to? Philadelphia. Philadelphia. Yeah. You're doing shows with Nick Mullen?

Yes. Fantastic. Featuring for him in Philly. Oh, that's awesome. Thursday through Saturday and then driving back Sunday. What has your lifestyle? Is it still kind of similar? No, it's actually changed quite a bit. So I met a lady while I was homeless. Yeah. Not the homeless one that I had previously talked to. Yes. You met a homed woman. I met a homed woman. While you were home. Yes. And she was letting me stay on her couch. And then her roommate finally was like, can he just like go in your room?

Oh, so then so one thing led to another naturally progress. Had you not slept with her until the roommate was like this guy has to get off the couch? Pretty much. Yeah. Oh, hell yeah. So the roommate was probably like annoyed, right? Oh, yeah, taking up living room Talking and then she had to work in the morning and my girlfriend now was unemployed at the time She's your girlfriend. Yes, okay. Yeah. Oh nice. Now. You just I got her name on my what's her name? Yeah, okay. Yeah, so she found me when I was homeless and she's like it doesn't matter if you have a home or not She's like I just like you beautiful. He's Hispanic. She's not no she's okay white. What do you mean found?

She literally stumbled upon that's a that as a homeless man. I'm sure yeah, yeah Found no we both do comedy ah So she knew of me, but she didn't really know that I was homeless like that. And then, yeah. Dude, you had it like that little. Your stand up comedy is fantastic. Phenomenal.

You should be living in an apartment. Your comedy is, I would tier it with like a two-bedroom apartment Thanks, yeah, yeah, at least at least yeah, yeah, yeah, no I mean I'm working on that right now. I did an ad for dr. Squatch. Okay the soap yep the soap and that's you You are the face of soap dude. Yeah, that's like

We want you I was like are you sure and they were like yes absolutely you're our guy so I was like okay so they they had me come to New York and I filmed the thing and that's when I made enough money to buy a van hell yes and then I was like oh did some budgeting and I was like I can live in a closet how much is the rent how much does a closet go for 250 but I live in an all 250 that that you're getting the dog. Yeah, a large closet. What's in the closet air mattress? Okay, it's an air mattress and all my clothes That's yeah and a couple of books. Okay. Yeah, so I made a real stoic living. Do you have an outlet in there?

I have an extension cord. Okay, it's under the door. Yeah Why your friend was cool with it or is this guy your friend or you just saw a guy running a comic? Okay, and he was like I was talking about I was like dude I want to live in the city again because I was like I don't want my girlfriend to think that I just want her for a Bed, you know, I actually care about this woman. Whereas women before I was like, yeah, I am using you for a bed I want a bed. Yeah, so has she heard all your stories about your sores and your wounds so that yeah, we actually Yeah, I heard about your wounds, yeah So the the night we were we hooked up for the first time

We're making out and it always when you have an STD you got it. You got to find the right moment to be like Before we go and but she was like before we do and I was like yes So we just swapped she was like oh, I guess I don't care What you have as long as you don't and I was like no double-negative. We just pulled the condom off and oh Yeah, that's really that's yeah, I would have her name on was like, I gotta. Wait, that's really, yeah, I would have her name on a necklace too, man. Yeah, I'm like, I gotta marry this woman. Yeah, and then have toxic, noxious sex.

Yeah, all the time, dude. Yeah. The STDs were probably terrified of you two. Well, no, I thought, was there any, was it like baking soda and vinegar? Was it like a science fair volcano? Yeah. Yeah. As soon as you entered the threshold, it was...

It just sounded like a dog. I just called the pussy the threshold. That actually works. I think it does. Yeah. I had a threshold on it. And you're in Minneapolis? Yeah, I live in Seward, which is pretty much an entirely Somalian neighborhood.

Called Seward? Yep. Oh, come on. Is that north of Minneapolis? I live in southeast Minneapolis. Minneapolis is the largest Somalian population outside of Somalia. Yes. I know.

And have you ever been jumped by one? I've not been jumped by one, but they are out and about. This is a paywalled episode right no Oh, okay. Well all right. Well watch what I say then no no you can say okay? Well, it's just a rite of passage. I think in living in Minneapolis to get jumped by yeah teenager. Yeah. Oh, yeah Yeah, they um yeah I don't unfortunately only know very negative stereotypes about Somalis. That's the thing is I bet you the food's bomb.

What's the capital Mogadishu? I feel like the no, the Somalians in Somalia look down upon the Minnesota. Minnesota. I saw a tick tock. Yeah. I was about that. Yeah. I've been fed that they like to scam. They like to they're obnoxious in public. Yeah. I mean, when they when if you were a Somalian family and you're coming to Minneapolis They're like they go here is one singular left air pod and the license get on the fucking road, and you gotta drive So they they just no blinkers. That's against their religion. They don't use blinkers

Yeah, yeah, and they just merge across five lanes of heavy traffic And they are dude and they stream They could like they could like total your house Yeah, I mean if you when you pull up to my place you see you walk up to it. Yeah Pull to my foot when you pull up to my place You'll see a banged up Toyota Sienna illegally parked six or seven of them probably. Yeah they just love they love doing that they don't know how to drive. This is one of them. And that's the thing is like people outside of Minneapolis will be like hey bump the brakes man everybody in Minneapolis even the furthest left leading people are like

yeah they don't know how to drive. Yeah. They very good at it I guess Somalia tough tough country to drive in I'm sure there's a restaurant here called Mogadishu there is is it good the Yelp the Yelp isn't the kindest well that's the thing is like some of those like traditional Somalian like restaurants they have like a curtain and that's where the women go like you can't if you were like a single woman You're going in that rest. You got to sit behind the curtain. No kidding. Yeah, they don't they do not like women at all Yeah, sit behind the curtain and then like if my girlfriend and I go to one of their restaurants I have to order really just won't like listen. Oh my God. Yeah. No. But yeah, they are very, they're very rude people.

They're not. Listen, not across the board. Not across the board, just in Minneapolis. Like I said, that TikTok of that talked about it. It was a Somalian guy ranking Somalian people in different cities. Oh. Minneapolis, he said was feral. The Minneapolis Somalian. in different cities. Oh. Minneapolis, he said was feral. The Minneapolis, Somalian.

That's from a Somalian thing. Is it really? I can't believe it. I swear to God, I saved it, I think, on TikTok, because I was like, damn, they all think that. The St. Cloud ones, too. St. Cloud, you, oh, that's a deep cut, yeah.

Yeah, what about the Anoka ones? Are you familiar with Anoka? I'm not familiar with their game, no. Okay. I do know. Halloween capital of the world. What do you familiar with Anoka? I'm not a familiar with their game though, okay? Capital of the world what do you mean the Halloween capital of the world they there's a Halloween capital of the world But you can't just have northern Minneapolis suburb. No dude that would have to be like Transylvania or Salem no So you know it yeah, no what makes it the Halloween capital you remind me of a dude Who's like into in Halloween? Chill with Ichabob crane at the Halloween capital you remind me of a dude who was like into in Halloween so I just

You would chill with Ichabob crane Yeah, I mean that have all your belongings in a way look like a play the hacky sack with Jack Skellington Yeah, dude. I like repping his pajama pants when I go to a meeting You but like I guarantee you somebody has that same outfit. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah Pajama pants are just for going to a a yeah cookie monster Jack Tweety bird Tweety bird t-shirt yeah Do you remind me of a dude who's ingested glass more recently than modern medicine this? Have you had glass? Have you you've had glass I've had glass. You've had glass?

I've had glass. It was back when I was drinking, so it was about two years ago. Was this in Fargo? Yeah, Fargo, North Dakota. You paid glass in Fargo? Fargo, North Dakota. I got paid for these shows, and they had me stand in this hotel called the Fargo Inn. And the bar downstairs was called The Box. So I went down to The Box, and I was like was like I'm gonna gamble everything I made on blackjack

I went down there I ordered a gin and tonic sat down put my money down took a sip of the gin and tonic all glass All glass Yeah, it was all shattered glass. So I just had to drink it with a straw. No you didn't. You could have brought it up there, man. I had to drink it with a straw. Well, if you're drunk, you're not going to let it go to waste.

You're going to get it for free. You're going to be like, hey, by the way, there's glass in this. How much glass do you think you ingested? A couple of pieces. Okay, that's all glass. Yeah. Are you sure you think you ingested? Couple of pieces okay, it's all glass yeah Are you sure you ordered the right drink? I might have ordered the gin and glass yeah My god you have a podcast Yes, the goat go mentality, and you do something that I want a great. It's a good name

it's I want to steal what you do and it's It's a great name. It's a good name. I want to steal what you do, and it's overlaid on your podcast in video form is just a video of the worst car accident. Yeah. Car accidents. Like deaths?

Oh, yeah. It's just foreign car accidents overlaid on fake TVs. If you want to watch that instead. It's got to be a lot of Russia. I feel like on a. Oh, yeah. They love their dashcams. Yeah, Russia and then the obvious. Which is.

San Jose. I mean, I went in on Somali and people like three minutes into this podcast. It's China. I feel like, yeah. I mean, we can. But China videos, like, but that's everyone. I don't think, I don't think a Chinese person, like a mainland Chinese person can die of natural causes.

It's always, I've only ever seen highway and smelting factors. You can either die by getting hit by a straight tire and falling into a vat of ore. It's almost like an 18-wheeler flying off a bridge. In Hong Kong, you can die of natural causes, disease. Mainland Chinese. It is an escaped animal from the zoo. Escalator.

Getting crushed by a piano. Oh anything dude. Anything. There are, yeah they do die in horrific ways. Oh my god. I saw one of them. And there are very smart people. They just haven't learned Yeah, they just the OSHA is not over there No, it's all one of the dude just getting sucked up in like a conveyor belt Getting turned around and I was like, that's the most Chinese way to die I'm afraid we're building up. I don't want to die Chinese. No, I don't want to dodge from it. I don't want to go on one Imagine ask someone how do you go? It's like that was Chinese Chinese style. He went out Chinese Don't ask any other questions cuz you know, yeah, you know, you can't die Chinese without something ripping. Oh, yeah I didn't know we worked in a fact oh

My god Billions of people it's just the statistics statistically yeah if we had a billion people here would happen as well But that'll be an awesome like show series like an OSHA manager has to go to China. Oh Man, yeah like bar rescue What the hell are you doing in here? You're smelting the wall. You don't even have the proper PPE Oh my God, yeah, they'll be really fucking good Yeah, we should what other I don't want to steal. What could we throw in our TVs? What kind of does that's like the most? Violent worst thing you can actually get away with do it cuz YouTube our accident see him die so YouTube's but it's it's a no-brainer

They die yeah some of them some of them are yeah, you're like. There's not even a vehicle Yeah, you're like there's not even a vehicle And we just have it on the TV in front of us playing so when you're watching you thought it was superimposed Oh, we're also you're also watching it. Yeah while your podcast. I have a conversation Yeah, yeah, and then we'll have guests on they'll be like oh my god. We're like don't don't address that So you got dr. Squatch any other sponsors, so I did a thing for dude wipes We we did we had a short stint yeah I did a thing for dude wipes which I can show you and they didn't like we they sponsored another show here now instead and Yeah, it's it's honestly uh

Humbling, I'm really sad. I gotta go do the dozens alright. Yep. See you man Aiden. It's been a pleasure Stay safe out there. Don't die Chinese If I have one piece of advice to give you So you did a commercial for dude wipes so I did like an ad video like a video that they were like, oh, put it on like your social media. And I didn't realize that I could submit like a concept before. So like this agent, what do you mean a concept?

They want me to like write out an idea before I film. Oh, OK. Sort of a thing. I didn't know that's what they wanted. So I went ahead and made one, sent it to them, and they sent me back some pretty scathing feedback. Oh no. Yeah, they didn't like it. I can show you if you'd like to see it.

Their benchmark, or like their, their material is like my ass be like. It's just tag somebody you think poopin' now. Our end. My mouth. It was the best of times. My butt. It was the worst of times. Yeah. We lost them. That's a shame. Here it is. But I bet you you deserved negative feedback. Yeah, absolutely. I didn't deserve. We'll play it over top two. Hey, Community Aid McCleskey here. I'm here with Dude Wipes and we're going to do the wipe test today. What? Is this what you invited us for?

I thought we were getting lunch, man. Well, yeah, we're going to get lunch after I do this. I'm going to take a **** and then wipe my **** and see how long it takes to get clean. Can you stop looking at me? Seriously? You're making direct eye contact, man. You've got to do something, man. I don't like this at all That's all blood I mean, that's a little less blood. Yeah, a little more brown than red

Second wipe is looking promising That's pearly white. I don't see any blood on there. You heard it here first folks three wipes and you're done dude wipes That's really good. They find that's fine Yeah, they hated they hated that already. What did they tell you so the feedback was? It does not positively represent the brand there is no genuine feel to the video And it doesn't seem like they're actual fans of dude wipes by any means the number one thing I'd also like to Flag is that we should probably not mention or refer to blood ever But it's like what dudes that are wiping their ass with wipes you shit blood You more often than not oh I think that's the only way their body can get rid of old blood

Yeah, they just have to excel you're not a true fan. you're not a true fan of the white I'm not a true it didn't feel genuine at all what we had them for like it was a they were a presenting on sir they were on the video ads for them they scripted it for us so oh so you yeah but like with the I think we said something like their anti-woman we did yeah and if a dude

like touches a pussy it turns The pussy heels over or something I don't know it makes sense that we lost them. Yeah, honestly yeah, we've Yeah, we Try to get him back. I don't think I'm gonna be able to can you just post that So I asked him if I could post it news like legally I think that would be a bad idea because they sent me a Package of their wipes, but I wanted to be like what if I just paid you for the wipes Just fucking posted it. Yeah, you could just do that because that feels like an out at least you know like Fuck are you gonna take from me? I live in a closet I said earlier, what the fuck are you gonna take from me? I live in a closet

Ruin yeah, yeah, no garner away Yeah, go ahead take my velcro dude dude wipes black belt black balled you yeah, I can't believe it So go to hilarities in Cleveland anymore. They're a bit. They're big dude wipes are they Yeah, I don't know what the fuck they thought reach it out to me. I was like that's the tamest idea I had so then I thought about doing like, because I was like, it really made me laugh that some dude had to take a minute out of his day to watch that in an office. So I wanted to do one where I'm just filming and I do it real like content creator, real bright light, my face. I'm like, hey, Aidan McCluskey here. And then the camera slowly panning out

and you notice there's blood on the top of my head because there needs to be blood in the video. And as it pans out, you see just a Chinese man behind the camcorder in a dingy basement screaming at me with a cigarette and a gun. And I'm like, you gotta let me go. Dude, wife's gotta let me go dude wife's gotta let me go You might be in danger they might be pretty well connected. Oh, I'm fucked. Yeah. Yeah, I'm on their shit list now

I'm on dude wife's We might be on there too Yeah We might be on there too. Yeah. Using them feels good. They're not shitting blood. Like a dude has not shit and it smelled like old pennies. Wipes his ass with dude wipes. Any dude who has to, you know, any dude who wants to use a wet wipe to become cleaner,

half of his shits are like pure mucus. 100% Yeah, like the jelly. Like he's shitting like too much. Like a cartoon swamp bubble. Yeah he needs something because toilet paper is tearing his asshole apart. Uh-huh. He's like it's all blood in there. It's all blood or I'm shitting acid and I don't know what's going on. You'll get him back. Yeah but like oh all these hygiene products

Gene over high all these hygiene products are reaching out to I Like you a lot a dirty guy. Yeah filthy filthy filthy. I mean I live in a closet. There's no ventilation Oh, yeah, you're just breathing it all you inhale is your exhale. Yeah 100% You wake up, and it's 80 degrees warmer than what it is in the living room. And my lady sleeping in there, we just pop that son of a bitch. Wait, why don't you stay at hers? Well we do, but I'd like to have her at my place sometimes.

So you have her over? So I have her over to the closet, but right before I left actually, I had to keep waking up in the middle of the night and filling it up. She's like, what the fuck is going on? Filling what up? Filling what up? Filling what up?

The air mattress. Oh, pardon my confusion. It's not even big enough for a twin air mattress, so it's like crammed in there. Twin air mattress, yeah. So we must have popped it while we were fucking. Dude, you might just have to go pool raft. Maybe. Yeah, I was thinking going real Japanese and laying a mat on the ground.

Oh yeah. But I don't know if she's going to go for that. So I mean, she's sleeping with you on an inflatable twin in a closet. I think she's going for. Yeah. Yeah, a lot. I feel like it might open up. You guys swapped. You guys swapped virus. Yes. Yeah. Which that is a bond truly stronger than marriage. Oh,. Do you view yourself as married? I mean, I would marry her tomorrow. There we go. Yeah, if she let me, I would marry her tomorrow. Cause I mean, you already got what I got.

Yeah, right? Like what's the hang up? Nothing. Probably the debt that I'm in. Oh yeah? Yeah. From what? You didn't go to college, did you?

I got an associate's degree. No kidding. Nice, congrats.s paralegal studies no way I'm from Western Technical College in La Crosse. Yeah, oh Yeah, so can you do something with that? Not anymore national yeah, can you like act as your own agent? Are you informed enough there? No, okay. They said people will send me stuff, and I'll just sign it Yeah, why not?

Cuz like I said, what are you taking? Fucking take yeah, man. That's gotta be it's gotta be freeing. We don't have much to lose no No, just like for met Nike Vomit Rose. That's it. Those are cool. Yeah, kids supers. It was a really cool I got the shoe lift cuz one of my legs is shorter than the other apparently wait really yeah How'd you find that out? Did you walk with a fire factor? How much sure one of your shoes is half an inch so I lift on the shoe consider. Oh at the bottom yep No, kid. Do you you don't limp you have a nice stride? Yeah, I walk duck-legged though same so Limp you have a nice ride. Yeah, I walk ducklegged though same so

He found it out cuz he was like it seems like one side's tighter than the other So we did like an x-ray and he was like looks like your spine kind of curves a little bit And he was like because one of your hips is lower. So he's like if you Lift it so I had like a insertable lift that was just on like the back end That apparently if you wear for too long then that fucks your hips up where one leans for Back so I brought it in and I got this lift on but it's he did not match the colors It's it's at all. It's visible. Yeah, that's okay. Yeah again, but I mean I'm locked down I don't have anybody to impress anymore. Yeah, so you how did you impress her I? Don't know to be honest funny. Yeah, funny. I think is probably about it. That was about the oh no

No, the car living is interesting, and I think mysterious and sexy it is especially in modern era Yeah, that's like a trend. Yeah, she was a software engineer. Oh So that that might have been. There are a lot of comics who live in their car, in Austin. In Austin, yeah. I went down there three weeks ago, four weeks ago. It's probably about a month at this point.

And yeah, there's a lot of comics living in their car to seemingly no end Like those guys like I did it because I was like things are trending in the right. Yeah, you were getting spots. Yeah, I'll do this I'm not joking. You're you living in a car wasn't a hopeless decision. I didn't feel that way. Yeah. Yeah and But there's a lot of guys down there that I'm like, oh, this is hope. Like, you don't realize what you've done. The Joe Rogan era is like brought about just people moving to Austin with no plan other than do open mics. Pretty much.

They want to get out and they're living in their cars. Yeah. Under this light without any sketchy overpass or some of them will sleep in a like a Planet Fitness parking lot. But it's like they moved everything down there on the hope that it's like, oh, I'll get on Killtonian and it'll change my life. Yeah. But it's like, why did you move? Why don't you just visit? Try to do that.

Just go on the weekend and then come back. Yeah. They're living full time in their car. Yep. And what is their like day-to-day? Are they doing open mics or like? Doing open mics. But the thing is it's like not that big of a city. It's comparable to here, not even here Minneapolis more so. Yeah, definitely. But there's 10 times the amount of comedians down there because of Joe Rogan's club. That, just that, started that exodus? Yes, yeah, that and Kill Tony.

But those are like the highest levels of comedy for professionals. So what are these? They're like, oh, I'll get in, I'll do the open mic and then Adam Eaget, who books it, will see me and then I'll become a regular there. Does Joe Rogan's club even do open mics? Yeah, they do it like Sunday and Monday. OK, I did it on a Sunday. And to be honest, I thought it was relatively underwhelming.

Yeah, I was like, oh, OK, this is just like any open mic. It's not like Joe is there. No. Hey, great job. It's just like it's tourists. It honestly felt like Joe is there no like hey great job. No. It's just like it's tourists it honestly felt like Las Vegas comedy Mm-hmm where it's like a lot of tourists in there to see Joe Rogan's Club, that's it I think the open mic is probably the cheapest thing that they do there, but they still charge for that

So it's like do the open micers get paid for that no okay? No, what would you have you ever met a comic like a cruise ship comic? Oh plenty really? What is that stereotype? They're usually those guys are like old dogs Yeah, you know they're like middle-aged guys who were just like well I don't want to get a day job, and I still want to do comedy But I want like a sustainable life for me and my family And I still want to do comedy, but I want like a sustainable life for me and my family

Yeah, so but the cruise ship comedy a lot of the contracts like the comedians can't come above deck unless you're doing the show So you gotta stay and you can't undock Either you can't get off that sounds like slavery yeah, yeah stuck in the bottom of a ship Amistad a star. That's what the Carnival Cruise is for comedians Yeah, cuz they I think what was happening was a lot of comedians were having sex with Guests on the cruise, and then you're just stuck at sea With these people yeah for a week or however long so a lot of the time you can't get off the ship. You have to stay below deck. Oh, that's horrible.

You come up for the show, you do the show, and then you go back down below deck. So you can't see the light of day? I mean, I suppose you could see it through the porthole. That'll do it. Yeah, but it doesn't sound like a good life. It sounds a lot like prison. Yeah, and they're all like clean comediansians and you need to have like three hours of material

because you're doing shows night after night for the same fucking people. Right. You know, so like you gotta do a new act all the time. Oh, that's a nightmare. Yeah, I mean I couldn't do it. No. Seems really hard. Oh, yeah, really difficult, but I think the check is nice I think that's the only reason someone would agree to not come above deck Only do a show and then have to have three hours of material

That's I've never even thought of that That's absurd. What was so what's next for you? That's, I've never even thought of that. That's absurd. So what's next for you? Man, I don't know. I need a job, dude. Really? Yeah.

I thought you were doing comedy. I am doing comedy and it's working, but I feel like I want to like try to do something to have like a little more income. Because like right now things are going well, but like the financial planning is like shaky. Yeah. It's like I can have a month where things are really good, but like the financial planning is like shaky. Yeah. It's like I can have a month where things are really good and then I can have a month where it's like, oh damn, I made $800 this month. I mean you're featuring for Nick Mullen and that's pretty big.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I started, Dan Soder brought me out. Amazing. Oh my God. Yeah. That was great.

But the interim of those gigs, trying to fill those days. Would you consider moving out of Minneapolis? Maybe, I mean, if, that's the thing right now, is like I love Minneapolis as a city. It's like one of the coolest places in the summer. I've heard great things. Yeah, it's awesome. So I would consider moving,

but I'd have to have something on the table Because there's nothing really drawing me. I hate New York. Do you yeah, I guess if I considered moving I would come here Which kind of seems like a lateral move or Austin. Yeah But even that like living in Minneapolis and touring the way that I do, it's central to everything. It is, so you're touring all across the US, not like one specific region. Yeah, I mean, I've, yeah, I've been all over the past year. The last time we talked, you were like, you did like a country club

with a karaoke machine or something? Oh man, that was when I met Sass and Mooc, dude. Oh yeah? Yeah, they saved me on that run. That was I did. So there's this booker named Ron Heron who lives in Long Island. Italian dude. Fuck you, Ron. Yeah, it's like a money laundering front because like his whole thing is like a portion of the proceeds goes to a veteran. And then you're like a veteran and then you find out Ron served in the military. So all of the money goes to him.

And there are these horrible one night gigs that you have to bring the sound equipment to. And you need to bring an opener and it's three hundred dollars total. So it's like you and an opener, and he sends you these like geographically Impossible runs like one time he was like I want he's like here's a run for you, and it was Thursday night in Wyoming Friday night, New England That might be impossible. I think that with any mode of transportation Saturday night, Wyoming I think that with any mode of transportation Saturday night, Wyoming Wyoming New England and back to Wyoming yeah, and I was like I can't do that and he's like pussy

Have you ever met this man have you seen him in person I went to a wedding in Long Island And I said hey, man. I'm in Long Island. Do you want to get lunch? He said absolutely not here's a run for New England. And I was like, fuck you. Wait, he does this with many, many comics? All over the country. All levels? Yep, and it's some of the worst comedians you've ever, and I mean, working with Ron was like the equivalent

of doing a labor job as far as comedy goes, where it's like, all right, I'm gonna dog this out for a year I did a lot of his shows and that all over the country. What's like the furthest you've traveled in like a two-day span That was probably when I Met those guys he had me on a run that went from ash to be low, Ohio To where the fuck is that? far Northeast

Yeah, northern Ohio. Right on the lake. And then the following night was 84 Pennsylvania. I know 84. It's one of the only towns I know of that is a number spelled out. 84 Pennsylvania. That's where the lumber started.

Oh! That's where Washington, PA. And how'd you meet Luke and Sass there? So that's the thing is I was doing that run to I Was basically lying to him the whole time where I was like Nick was gonna be doing like a theater show with Tim Dillon Big J and Shane Yeah, and I was like I would love to see that show Ron will basically pay for me to get out there So I was like I'll do these shows see that show. Ron will basically pay for me to get out there. So I was like, I'll do these shows.

And then the last show, I'll be like, hey, I'm like, I can't make it. Or I'll just be like, fuck you. Yeah. Done working with him. So I did Ashtabula, then I did pencil the one eighty four. That's where I had to buy the karaoke machine because I got there. And I was like, you guys have sound equipment? They're like, no, I thought you brought that. So I went to Sam's club and I bought a karaoke machine.

And the performance was? Oh, dog shit. It was terrible. I had to, I wheeled it in and set it up and the lights wouldn't turn off. And it was one of those karaoke machines that where you're talking, it like flashes lights. That's pretty funny. And I bombed for an hour while the lights just flashed and then I had to wheel it out behind me And the guy was like are you really not getting paid for this and I was like, I don't think so. He's like Keep your head up, buddy

And that night I was in this like shitty motel. That's where I met Coco the prostitute sure god bless her Do you think she's doing okay today? Based on our snapchat stories no But I wish her the best What she's showing on the snapchat stories? She's got a dog that's constantly having puppies Feel like that's a hallmark of a bad bad life I feel like that's a hallmark of a bad, bad life. You have a pit bull. The worse the life, the more dogs and puppies and babies you have.

Yeah, you have a pit bull with like the tits that are just perpetually hanging down, dragging on the ground. It's like you got a bad life. And that night. Or if you're a prostitute. Right. Yeah. And their tits are dragging on the ground. Same thing. Same thing. And that night, Sass DMed me

that they were in Detroit and the feature sucked. And I was like, he was like, do you think you could make it? I was like, absolutely. So, that's awesome. That morning I woke up, I took Coco to breakfast and I dropped her off at Sam's Club. I returned the

Karaoke machine you returned it. Yeah. Oh, yeah I got that money back and then I drove I think it was like seven hours up to Detroit on the way there I got a flat and then I had to get it repaired Jesus man struggles Struggle and then I got up there met those boys those shows were great. That's all paying off Yeah, I'm looking at Ron Heron's page. He's sleazy as advertised. Are you on his Facebook? No, his website.

Ron served in the United States Army from February 1997 until September 2001 and credits his time in the military. Why do you think he quit in September 2001? He got out. This guy knows what he's doing. He dodged a real bullet there, man. in the middle of why do you think he could time time Dodged a real bullet there man extensive educational background includes master's degrees bachelor's degrees Like Thomas Edison Villanova Farmingdale Central, Texas College. Oh, yeah. Yeah

Okay, he has several different Facebooks. What? For the... That's a telltale sign. Because he keeps getting banned for posting like alt-right stuff. Oh yeah. Called me the n-word. He calls you the n-word every time he wants to hit you up. He'll be like, what's up?

And then that? Yeah. There he is. This guy. White. Yeah. Oh, oh of course yeah Yeah, oh my god. Oh man. How anything else boys? And this was fun. I appreciate you stopping by on your way to uh I keep on fucking forgetting where you're going Philly Philly

Yes Sold out yeah, they had don't bother by Thursday, so That'll be fun otherwise and AIDS man 109 yeah I hope you guys liked it and anything else all of it yeah AIDS man 109 across the board across the board that and how do we how do you get money you merch or anything like that honestly that I think merch is kind of gay yeah you just want to it is AIDS man 10 what's your Venmo? Yeah? Yeah, wait merch is gay just Venmo you Yeah, so much better. That's so much better. Yeah That's also AIDS man. I'm a man. Why am I cash app?

That was very black comedian of me Real quick boys Yeah, hey guys. Oh, yeah of me. Real quick, boys. Yeah. Hey, guys. I would love to get aid in blogging. He's a blogger as well. So if we can do whatever we can do to get him on the blog, that would be amazing. Yeah, that'd be really cool. I love that. Yeah. If I get to work, that'd be really cool.

Oh, yeah. People and then people online raise a stink to. Get them on board. Right. Yeah, I wrote I wrote the story of Coco on my blog. Oh That yeah, what's your blog at AIDS man net? Yeah? Was AIDS man dot net okay, okay? Well also listen to the goat mentality podcast yep exclusively on YouTube because I forgot the anchor account It's man dotnet yeah that wasn't taken no believe it or not real look at this but I appreciate you fellas having me on I hope everybody listening liked it they

will I'm sure of it splint wheeler He's trying that you trying to disappear off the face of the earth Yeah, dude, you get into the subreddit of disappear. I've tried that as well. Wait, what? Yeah, there's a like a subreddit for disappearing Yeah, how do they're actively trying to yeah and like you'll read a person who's like I'm gonna do it And then you'll go on there like a count and they haven't posted since then and you're like, you'll read a person who's like, I'm gonna do it, and then you'll go on their account and they haven't posted since then, and you're like, oh shit. So you actually are like, in part of your mind,

is like, this is a viable option. Yeah, cause it's like, how do I get, I don't know, how would I just disappear? Cause I feel like now enough people know who I am, where it's like, I would love to just fucking, gone. I get those itches too. Yeah. Domestically it would be tough to disappear. Yeah, I mean you gotta change your name

and then steal the account and then change your social security. Holy shit. That's too much. I got scammed for my social security number yet last night. What? I've been trying to get a new ID because mine expired for so long. You're fucked. So here's the thing. I lost in the move I lost my social security card. It was a quick move gone. The only other method is

a W-2. 2020 there was a new law where they censored the social security number on your... So I don't have a proof of social security number. So I was real pissed coming out of the DMV and I just Googled, I need a social security card now, but it's almost impossible without an unexpired ID. And I found a website and I paid him 40 bucks. It was one of the top results and I looked and I googled it, scam. Did they just take your money or do they have your social security number? From what I understand, they're just going to take my money. Did you enter your social security number? I did, I did. But that's identity theft and that's a big felony. So they're just

going to take my money money which somehow isn't illegal Is the dumbest thing I've ever done? But you were you did it in a fit of rage. What was the domain the domain was like apply with us Apply with us. Just one of those things where you just get in a fit of rage because it's so impossibly difficult. Yeah that's why I just haven't done it. I carry my passport everywhere I go. And I don't have that. Yeah. Because my IDs expired as well. I carry my Nevada license because I forgot I lost my Wisconsin one when I was paying for sins And I don't remember what gas station did you live in Nevada Nevada? I did dude. I was in a pyramids multi-level marketing scheme Yeah

It's man. That's a bag of worms dude. I thought you guys were trying to wrap up. I mean I thought you guys were trying to wrap up. I mean Yeah, we can we can let it leave it on cliffhanger. Yeah, okay. Yeah, there's a multi-level marketing scheme from November of 2020 I always wonder like you know what's the thought process? Did you are you were you aware immediately that it was 100% and you were still about it? Yeah, I will not like you can still make money You can make money at the base level And then I remember my first day I was being trained in by my sales lead and we were sitting at a Panda Express and I was like Yeah, dude, this is a this is a pyramid scheme and he goes

Bro, I wish people would stop saying that People are saying it because it is it was a poster in the office That was a poster in the office That was a weird With an arrow point and at the bottom that said you are here And that was the sales position and then the top is becoming a CEO a CEOs multiple CEOs yeah, if you're curious look look into the sidecore Corporation says like a whole reddit

People talking about it. Where are you selling? Internet and cable and walmarts all over Las Vegas in walmarts Yeah, they had you were selling internet to walmarts or two cut to customer We would just set up a table in the tech department and throw like a little tablecloth over it And then you'd be like excuse me who do you have for internet and cable okay you would have to impersonate them on the phone what yeah what impersonate the person you were talking to on the phone yes what so you mean yeah so like okay so what it was is we would go into these Walmart's and we're selling DirecTV and CenturyLink and sometimes you could sell them in a package or you could just sell like DirecTV and CenturyLink. And sometimes you could sell them in a package or you could just sell like DirecTV or CenturyLink.

So then you'd have them, you'd pitch them, they'd be like, sure. And you'd be like, here, fill this out. So you give them your iPad, they'd fill out the form for DirecTV or CenturyLink. And whereas we were just like middlemen, our job was like completely unnecessary Whereas you would just click next and then speak to a rep on the phone

They would fill it out and they're like my boss was like ain't nobody gonna do that when they buying groceries I'm having a hard time picking what your boss looked like. Yeah, it's tough I mean, I don't know you got to paint paint a picture in your head. His name was Sean Brown. OK, so that throws a little loop in the curve. Yeah. So what they would do is they'd fill out the form with like their phone number, their address, their credit card information. And then you would call.

So like my first day, I watched my sales lead. He got a woman. she filled out the form, she walked away and he's like, yo how good is your old lady voice? And I was like, what? And he's like, man, and then he picks up the phone and does a perfect old lady's voice on the phone using her name, her credit card information,

signing her up for DirecTV. Wow, and we were signing people up for these like five year long contracts with like the biggest DirecTV. Wow. And we were signing people up for these like five year long contracts with like the biggest DirecTV. Oh, that's just a scam. Yeah. So like, but then we would somehow get commission off of that.

Walmart would allow you guys to be in there. We had a contract with Walmart. Jesus. Yeah. So I don't know, but that's the whole, like, we were a subsidiary of the sidecore corporation which There's like thousands of businesses in all different states and cities and things that are subsidiaries of this company

And then once you become a CEO Sidecore gives you eleven thousand dollars to start your own business in a different city in a different state now It's like were you doing comedy at the time? No. OK. I was just working out, going to handjob parlors. Yeah. And cable. Yeah. I heard that after you go to a handjob parlor, you feel you don't feel good inside. You feel soulless. Yeah. It shouldn't be called happy ending.

It should just be called the long car ride home with no radio massage. Yeah. You don't feel good. Yeah, yeah, but it was like what I was do I just was unless she was like kind of getting into it like yes I'm angry moaning like that would make me feel a little good. I think it's like say it's huge you 60 69 enemies Were you on the also like just like laid on you yeah cuz I was she was like 40 for 60 for suck 100 for boom boom and I was like well, I guess I'll do the suck

so Then she puts the condom on she starts blowing me and then she like she had this like little skirt on and she kept like She's like she was trying to get on a horse. She kept kicking it over and I was like I don't know what she's doing right now, and then she just flipped it over It was right my face and at first I was like I'm not gonna do it was kind of like when uh When a kid's like you're feeding the kid vegetables. It was like yeah. No no and then I was like you know what fuck it I'm already here. So I just dove in. Like an impulse purchase at checkout.

Yeah, yeah, that was my Snickers bar. Yeah dude, I haven't had a take five in forever. Yeah. And then she was done and I was like, oh my God, my head was spinning. I just like wiped the come off and just like the lube. And I just like wiped it all off with like the paper cause she just walked out.

I was always wondering how does that end? Do they like look you in the eyes and say thank you? Do you say thank you? She walks out and I was like, oh, I guess we're done then. And then I got dressed and she comes back in with this hot rag and she's like, I clean? And I was like, oh, all right. So I just like flopped my dick out

and she wiped it up and then she like gives me like a hug. She's a lot smaller than me and then she just goes, I love you. Oh, that would make me feel a little good. Yeah. So this is not what love is and I just left. It might be what love is though, dude, maybe Yeah

Hopefully Tia doesn't listen to this. She already knows she knows she knows the man. I marry her a lope with her Oh, yeah, I'll marry that woman. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I saw a psychic in New York said I'd be married to her in two years Goddamn, we've been together eight months. So you're on your way. Yeah, you'll be married to her in two years So you damn. We've been together eight months, so. You're on your way. You'll be married to her in two years, so you've got to propose here soon. Soon, yeah. Good luck. Thank you. Next time you're back in town, I hope you put a ring on it.

Engagement. Thank you. Yeah, man. You're welcome. That was a lot of fun. I appreciate it. Subscribe to Goat Mentality, and if you want some merch, just Venmo Aiden. Yeah, thank you.

Thank you guys for having me. Yeah, man, of course course anytime. Yeah, this was fun. Go see him in person Recommended yeah, actually a lot of boys from Barstool come out to my shows. I appreciate it. So thank you guys. Yeah God bless. God bless. God bless