A New Untold Story - Information Chamber feat. Casey Rocket - A New Untold Story: Ep. 454

Episode Date: June 26, 2025

Casey Rocket joins the show to talk information, cryptids, and muppets. Go see Casey on tour - https://caseyrocket.komi.io/ Nick & Mook's comedy show - https://chicago.zanies.com/show/adorable-boy-stand-up-comedy-showcase-special-event/zanies-comedy-club-chicago/chicago-illinois/ Ads: Gametime - Download the Gametime app today and use code UNTOLD for $20 off your first purchase Betterhelp - A New Untold Story is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/NEW to get 10% off your first month. Rocket Money - Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster at https://RocketMoney.com/untold today.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, a new untold story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad free on Amazon Music. Are we recording? Well, kind of just cold open, but we can start whenever yeah Why is anything you go to some crazy? So get something off your chest what? Citizen yeah, what it is it do you don't know what citizen happen? No, I don't I've seen you on it Special on the Citizen app Get ready with me You should release your special on the Citizen app You should release your special on the Citizen app

So cool I'm doing mine on Truth Social So sick Citizen, what does it do and why? I moved to Chicago on my pussy And so I figured I was going to get robbed and shot I did get robbed my first week You moved into O Block had moved way too far south

I moved to your sight unseen So I downloaded the citizen app just to see the crimes and people are creative when it comes to crime So right near here point three miles away armed robbery thwarted by concealed carry license holder do wow dude Thwarting doesn't happen nearly enough. It has descriptions of how the crime was resolved. Dude, they sometimes describe the person. Yeah. Cause there was this one,

it was like ugly man throwing feces. Just like, what the fuck? What if it was gorgeous, gorgeous woman throwing feces. They were spreading down there. Point two miles away. Holy shit. Guys, they weren't kidding, she's a babe, get down here. I do want to commit a crime

just to see how they describe me though Yeah, so they're using adjectives now. Yeah, I know they did like 50 kids in 7-eleven Brawling they're doing adjectives. Yeah, I'm like 7-eleven. My me is a fight club without doubt Because the last one I got was 100 kids were fighting in the 7-eleven. Mm-hmm. Which is nearly enough The guy that worked there like he I couldn't even imagine what he was probably remind him of home. That's that crowded but It was unbelievable. Yeah men fighting with fish. You got that that was a New York one, dude I got one recently on my street, so I went out to look and I didn't see it

I shouldn't say this because you can look up what it was but see my street fucking a Guy on a roof that wasn't his eating large sandwich Dead big yeah, that's like a hero. I think what do you mean him? Yeah, I think he flew and landed on the sandwich He's eating the sandwich like a hero Man on telephone wire He's eating the sandwich like a hero. How'd he get on the roof? He must be a... Man on telephone wire eating. Eating jalapeno popper. The best ones were sometimes you get wild animals.

That's how I found the possum stuck in a window sill. Is that a crime? A sill is one of the hardest places to get stuck. There was a possum and I went and checked it out. When his head was stuck? No, he was just like in a window sill. Oh, it was too high. And he was too high too high couldn't get down. That's scary poor possum Yeah, I wouldn't report it on it. It was very fun. Only marsupial in North America. Mm-hmm. Shut up. What?

There's none Florida marsupials. No, not naturally. I don't think about man pouched mammoths I met a girl in Australia and she texted me I was there maybe three months ago. She texted me yesterday She said yeah, I totaled my car. I hit it kangaroo Are you guys on texting basis was that out of nowhere? Yeah, we hadn't spoken in a while Good to see she's still out there. Yeah, those roads are dastardly Australia I know in like the outback It's like you know hundreds my hundreds of miles of nothing and they have to like regularly like flash

Lasers at you, so you don't fall asleep. I didn't know that at all people always die. They fall asleep. Yeah, what do you hit? It's a good question. I'm gonna hit I guess I can't I don't know I guess kangaroos are like days They just I guess those are muscleers. They see them as like Vermin like they seem like as rats. Oh they do. We went up to Alaska and they compared the bald eagles to rats. Cause I remember I like gasped at one and our Uber driver like turned around the scuff. He's like

you're new here? I was just like and he was like these are our fucking rats up here. I'm like this is a majestic bald eagle. And we drove past a dumpster and there was like 50 of them fighting over like a rotisserie chicken skeleton. Yeah it was nuts. They were shooing them away. At the cars There's like 50 of them fighting over like a rotisserie They were shooing them away at the cars supermarket. Yeah, if I killed it they'd throw me a parade I'd be a hero

Brutal I don't I looked up if you could eat bald eagle Even if you like ran it over and it's still not allowed It's a federal crime But like even if you hit it with your car like you'd think you'd be able to like at least Means a Native American way of like not wasting the body There'd be people ramping their cars to hit up What a villain he like builds a ramp so he can ramp his car into bald eagles What an act of terrorism that is He's so anti-american. Oh, yeah

Let's start the show a new untold story episode. You know what new untold story episode four five four here with Now comic Casey Rockett touring hey guys happy to be in every Casey Rockett Yeah, good intro. Is that the catchphrase? My catchphrase you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it riff Four five four it's not an area code bummer, but it is a, it's a Pokemon. It sure is.

I'm gonna do a rare stamp of approval on this. You like this Pokemon. No, I tolerate the design. Okay. This Pokemon is. It's not a dickhead? Toxicroak. Yeah, it's cool. It's like an upright

Poison dart frog like kind of humanoid with the inflating muscles and a spike on its head That's what a Pokemon should be. It should be a creature that's familiar and already Fascinating dangerous kind of cool and dangerous kind of cool and Virantly colored like a poison dart for all yeah, yes make it more like him and make it more magical and mightier That's what a Pokemon should be yeah that poison sack so that's fine by me. I don't think it's good, but I think it's good It has like a sharp middle. It's like dangerous enough. It has that sharp middle claw It's got its middle toe is a different color. It's it's pretty fun. It's fun man. Yeah, that's what I'm saying

There's a finite amount of Pokemons, very finite. The plural Pokemon is still Pokemon. There's about a thousand Pokemon, 1,028. And they're, I just announced today, they're dropping like 110 more. Okay, well that's still not a lot. That's a ton. That's not a lot.

It's been around for 30 years, that equals out to about one a month. That's so... Designing a Pokemon is an event that you probably should put a lot of effort into. You can't saturate the market. You can't. You can't. Imagine if there were 5,000 Pokemon, they wouldn't feel as special.

There's more African Americans in Guam that live in Guam than there are Pokemon. There's more Muslims in Omaha. There's more Kamala voters in Boone County, West Virginia. Holy shit really more episodes of ridiculousness Than Pokemon and yet they still have a seal that's just a seal named seal But that was like one of the first ones that came out. It's S E E L That's even it has a spike on its head. No, it's just a seal No, you just had a spike on its head. No, it's just a seal. No, you just said a spike on the head changes everything. Ed, he's doing a handstand. It's just a literal seal named Seal. There's like 30 dogs that are just dogs.

There's a Stonehenge. What dog is just dog? There is the prehistoric monument Stonehenge. Yes. That's a Pokemon. Yes, there is a Stonehenge. With eyes and a mouth. Stonejourner. That's a Pokemon. They combine Stonehenge and Sojourner truth. And that's what they came up with. That's just Stonehenge.

Look at that cute little, it's categories, big rock. It's 8-2. They didn't give it a tail or wings or a mustache? It's a living Stonehenge. You don't need to add wings or tails to make living Stonehenge cooler. It's so lazy and whack to add, like, oh, Stonehenge exists as the Pokemon universe. All right, Dick, Kyle, if you saw Stonehenge, you'd think it was cool.

They were like, what if it was alive? That is cool. That's breathtaking. No. That's brave. Two to one. No, this is. It's Stonehenge with arms and a face.

Stonejourner. No. They could have given it wings. There's one Pokemon that's a dragon that that turns into a building which I don't love It's funny. They're using like genuine Sacred geometry text that one they said it's rock composition doesn't match the area where it's found It's from a land far away like much pyramid style much much like It's cannot acically accurate to the human experience.

But imagine a guy seeing Stonehenge, he was like, what if that was a Pokemon? That's awesome. No, I really don't think so. That's rock and roll, dude. Yes. I think there should be more, there's a Sphinx Pokemon. It's not rock and roll.

That is so rock and roll. That's Scott. There is a Pokemon called Rock and Roll up, and it's a rolling rock There's some bad. There's a there's one named sock who wears human clothes. Yeah, and his counterpart throw Dude, dude Icon bar stool saying I wanted to do man on the street in London Just so I could go catch a sock because you can only get sock in London And you can only get sock in the UK. Oh, you're not kidding his name is throw sock

No, well one is socks and one is throw their boys. That's Falling out I just disrespect their boys No crap look at their demeanor man Yeah, sock and throw yeah I got barstool to pay for me and Tommy smokes to go to a four-minute man on the street Coronation's their little friend. That's vanilla. Oh Jesus. This is taking a downturn I haven't I haven't looked at it in a while. You got to catch up before the new ones drop But I have a least favorite now. What's you have a least favorite Pokemon? Yeah, so do you have a most favorite?

Not yet. Do you have a one you like? No, I have a few that I tolerate, but no favorites. Okay, what's your least favorite? It is... This is gonna piss me off. You can't have one without the other. There's no god if there's no devil. You understand what I'm saying? You have to have something you like.

He has a purgatory in hell. Yeah, purgatory in hell. This is hell. It's like a jacked construction worker Grandma hair a big red clown nose like an hourglass figure you're talking conkled there And he's hoisting a construction beam with his veins ball. It's like a great girder girder it evolves into it evolves into What conkledled her I hate this

It's holding a girder girder that is a gird girder sounds bad look rock and roll has a new name those are its veins girder bulging veins like a Veluptuous body why is he a clown? Why does he have a clown nose a conkler? It's a middle evolution middle evolutions are always but look at him That's bad, too. Why do they want to build so bad? What are they building? Hold on his birth names robot us It's his Japanese name yes when he moved to America he decided to be he changed it to something more fitting

Robotushin Delson p.m His lower half is James Charles. Oh, yeah, he is thick like yeah, it's haven't seen his ass matched He snatched I'm surprised. That's your least favorite that that's a lot of things that you enjoy muscles Metal granite. Yeah, dude, that seems to be like right down your alley. Yeah, I don't like beams You know like I like angled construction equipment be like the beams make the angles I don't like to beams make an angle taught humans how to make concrete. He didn't make it from magic He taught them how to make it from elements

So I did I liked Pokemon when they were just took the place of animals. And now they have to be like these wise sage beings from the past that have a purpose. That are four seven. There's one, there's a Pokemon that controls time. The God in the Pokemon universe is a Pokemon, not a person, which I thought was interesting.

And you'd think he would stop their capture. He invented concrete. So you mean, well, Kong is an indifferent God. Yes, he's hands-off kind of thing. Yeah, he invented concrete and unions. Yeah, he did. He's a Teamster. They did, there's a Donald Trump Pokemon.

He's a Teamster. You caught Jimmy Hoffa. No. No, they modeled, there's a Pokemon model after Donald Trump which one gum shoes Yeah, gum shoes Yeah, mm-hmm Oh his hands are behind his face pondering yes much to discuss Location waiting till the Sun goes down so they're strong John stake out

These two Pokemon have been fighting for so long. They don't know what the fuck. They're doing a treaty between Team Rocket and the layperson Ability strong 31 pounds 2 feet that's pretty beefy no That's fat for 2 feet. Yeah, he doesn't hide. He just stands like that. Yeah, he line. He's on the citizen app If you're still here, you're done Yeah, so that's your new lease new least favorite her der yeah But it says he he often hangs out at construction sites like what cat? Call me me

I mean she's working Pokemon. That's what it is. I should workers do nice Dude, if a poke if the if girder slapped my girl on the ass. I don't know what I'm doing I found out my girl used to date girder girder sounds like a KKK crime. It's Girdr. What? What kind of KKK? It sounds like a, it sounds bad.

Is it like murder, but? Yeah. You could say that. To put it lightly. I thought that would instantly click. What was the G- Oh, god damn it, dude. thought that would instantly click. What was the gur? Oh, god damn it dude. Oh, you're so fucked up.

Oh, no. That one took me one minute to get, one whole minute. That's also what they call it when you kill a girl, gurder. Girl, wait, wait, wait, wait. It's the click. Yeah, that felt whore. Girl, that's nice.

Oh my god, a one minute burr. That was bad experience. It wasn't like, I wasn't like proud of the usually your most clever will get I'll take me like four to six seconds this one There's a time delay on that Let's get over it immediately Your kids weren't you're not ready for that riff, but your kids are gonna love it I'm not gonna apologize for not getting it, cause my response time is understood.

Nick. I should know Kyle well enough, but it just got me. I had to say it out loud. It's not one you want to like sit on at all. That's a microwave. Yeah, that's a microwave. Oh, there's one that's just a penguin with an ice cube head. No, it's not just an ice cube head.

It takes, it takes the hit and it loses the ice cube. It's like a defense thing. Yeah, okay. That's not just a nice cute It has one hair whatever Whatever sums that up quite well No, that's it's icy face, and then it has a noise face No, that's its icy face and then it has a noise face It has a noise face yeah, man You hit it, and I believe it goes to its noise face version done with Pokemon all right. I was Pokemon I mean

You've missed out on a whole world Rudy you're on my side now. You're a Pokemon guy All the dudes are getting into Pokemon. Mm-hmm. It's a little late Mm-hmm, but hey decades late and anybody's welcome Anybody at all passes the time Casey. What are you into? Well now I'm into Pokemon yeah big time, you You know I'm just as happy with a good book. Yeah You know what you know what my Pokemon is a book yeah fucking book these kids are on some pros So nasty I like watching movies. I'm really into movies and

What do you do to pass the time? While you're traveling cuz you're on the road like a year straight. I watch a lot of movies how many movies like good movies So we said this good movies. Yeah, I don't like I like fun movies more than good movies So yeah, there's two kinds of people in this world fun movies good movies. Yeah My god, I know what you guys are thinking Casey. Yeah What about all the other types of people? And they're there too, but primarily there's two. I got stuck in a particle accelerator and my, I don't wanna get into this,

but my molecules were basically torn apart at the very fabric. And I had no corporeal form and I was kind of floating in the ether and somewhere along the way I found my God and it was vengeance. Wow, okay. So...

If I did, I'm a pestilence man myself. Yeah, I pray at the altar of pain and somewhere along the way I will exact my unique brand of revenge. So... That sounds... It's boutique revenge. But that in movies. It's a full-time job. Yeah sure that movies Back to the movies that's what really caught my attention. Yes, you said

How to train your dragon, what did you do before comedy? How to train your dragon What did you do before comedy? Well, I've done stand-up since I was 20 so I'm 30 now so before that I was in college and then When I was first starting comedy I did copywriting for a little bit. Okay. I got my degree in journalism as any notable copywriting Yeah, I wrote a lot of descriptions for weed websites so I would... Oh wait like would you describe the high? Yeah. Oh dude you're the worst!

Oh you're the worst! So I would say like just as comfortable melting into the couch as you are picking up a bucket of ice cream. That sounds incredible! They wouldn't send me the weed I don't even smoke weed. But they wouldn't say there was no, I had to make it up out of thin air because it's all buzzwords, right?

So you had to make up the high. Yes, I had to make up the high. So it would be like 25% THC, 5% CBD. And then I would, they would pay me like $3 a description. So I had no time to spend any time on it. So I would just take Adderall 20s and I would just Donald Duck and see when the smoke finally cleared I was like what if that's how I described the strain yeah did you ever get outlandish with it the strain

is us this will make you feel like Donald Duck. But yeah, I think I did like five hundred of them in like two days. So each one was like two sentences. So it would be a lot of like repeating the same thing different ways, which is all kind of what copyrighting is and finding different ways to deliver the same message. Using the source dot com. Oh, I was just pulling from the eternal the eternal dictionary the infernal flame In the information chamber, right?

That's something I've been trying to catch on as a public saying the information Zanies last night, I'm not getting I prize that at least eight Sorry guys, I was in the information eight times. Sorry guys I was in the information chamber. Is that just thinking? So yeah it's basically like, is that like thinking? No. Is the information chamber like thinking? I'll never with her like that's bullshit our bonita fish big Yeah, they're trophy fish This is my impression of the information chamber you like like you're like stuck and thought like oh my bad. I'm sorry I get it's okay. It's nothing like Yeah, you're overloaded with so much karmic energy that you're just stuck as a translucent thought form like a tulpa Is a thought form that's spoken into existence like a tulpa you can't just drop

Sorry, you can't drop tulpa can't droppa. Come on man. What is a Tulpa? I know all kinds of stuff. It's in like... Tulpa is a materialist being. He dropped it perfectly. Yeah, that's dead on. That's better than any Pokemon. Look at that. Everyone wants to know what a Tulpa is.

It's big in like high strangeness esoteric circles. Oh yeah, for sure. How do you get into those high strangeness circles? You circles oh yeah for sure how do you get into those the high strange circles some people think that Bigfoot is a tulpa so the more people go oh a Bigfoot lives in this wood suddenly it does you're like materializing okay people see Slenderman now because the public a collective unconscious thinks so much about this being somewhere along the way your perception is reality Okay, so I mean that's actually is interesting. Yeah, I like the Fresno nightcrawler

Are you guys familiar with the Fresno nightcrawler the cryptids? Yeah? The anthropomorphic pair of legs that are very pale and translucent that are seen in Fresno My favorite cryptozoology? Yeah, it's just the ghost leg. There's a creepy video of it. Oh for sure, I know a lot about cryptozoology. I know a little bit about Harbinger. Have you ever been to the

ripped Mothman statue? In Point Pleasant? He's so hot! He is. I know, he looks really good I like if I had to choose one harbinger to fuck it would have to be more many Many men have opted the same

Name your top harbingers you'd want to fuck Well people were seeing the Mothman in Chicago Mothman got all the way out here So in the past like five years there's been a ton of Mothman sightings in Mothman got all the way out here? So in the past like five years, there's been a ton of Mothman sightings in Chicago around O'Hare Airport for some reason. The statue's to the right, look at that bod. Yeah, he's got a great figure. Oh my God.

He looks great, he's never seen a calorie. So he made it all the way out here? Yeah, and well, so most Mothman sightings were in 1966, I believe in Point Pleasant, West Virginia. The bridge falling. And it was right before the bridge fell. And then after the bridge fell, no one saw it again. So goes the public story, what they want you to think.

John Keel, the writer. But I'm not trying to get caught up in the semantics of this. But a lot of people see him in Chicago. So what do you think is happening when people claim or do see something like a Mothman? Well, I don't know. There's two schools of thought, right? One being that it is a physical being that you could hurt or catch or hit with your car or a plane. The other being that it's somewhere in between, like it's something that blips into our reality and blips back out People think that about Bigfoot, too. So you have enough of a following to where you could create one of these

If I started pushing it yeah I started boost in the Mothman post boys. Let's get together and make a being The boys get together and making a being that's IDA. What a dream. See the beat We got to get out we have to rent out like a warehouse any boy any dude chick can come Yeah, but you all have to think about this being in silence until he just pops in the middle of the group nobody I was really made. Yeah, I'm sure a terrible tolpa to a reality tolpa into real. Yeah, Tulpa fest Tulpa's a good. That's a good first date She'll be hooked Tulpa. Tulpa is a good that's a good first date He knows so much about cryptozoology

Our hometown had a batboy rumor for a while Batboy is a pretty common one. That's like a position in baseball. Well, you're not even it's like a I think it's damn near slavery Yeah, those I think it's damn near slavery Yeah, those Little uniform I remember there was boys retrieving my salaries one tiny uniform a year get the tiny They don't have the funds for the number though Number whose son are you nothing that's just his I'm just the bad boy

That's the bad. Yeah, there's a what do you mean the bad boy in Wheeling? They thought the the storage facility behind foggy bottom had a bad boy had like a like foggy the winged mammal Yeah, but but also a boy. Yeah These things happen every day an orphanage I used to work at had the blue lady Oh, yeah, you're seeing her. I worked at an orphanage. Yeah. That was my summer job. Way to kick back.

Did you get fired? No, I didn't get fired. Why? Would you assume I got fired from an orphanage? You weren't selling enough kids? No, no, no. I was really good. I was a good orphan keeper.

I guess. Shepherd. You were a shepherd. Yeah. I cast shepherd But why would people would people see the bad boy people yeah, they were claimed there people would see the bad boy I'd imagine it was a big bird Or bat could have been a bat Sort of adolescent bad bad boys in Lewisburg my god caverns of Lewisburg. They're spreading. Yeah, my god touring

It was probably the spawn of fucking mothman because there's got to be some fan fiction about mothman Mothman is like one of West Virginia's biggest industries. Yeah. Yes. It's like there's a cold Well, what's on the way down and all it's coal Walmart? West Virginia University mothman, I think her kids it's it's right about it's right above Percocet Dollar General. Purdue tried to atomize. I think they a fuck ton of people go to the Mothman Festival are you saying you went there or do you just know about it? No I just know a lot about it I read the book once a year around Halloween it's really interesting because a lot of other stuff happened like people would, this is where men in black came from,

that term men in black, where people would see these government agencies, shady narrative. What's the Mothman app? I'm saying it's a big economic sector. It really is. That's how we make our money in the state. Yeah.

That's like, you know how a lot of people want to teach coal miners how to code? They just got to teach a Mothman. Just Mothman. That's what they got to do business people love it Chicks love shit like that. I don't know how the fucking chuka-cobra. They must have some good PR because that's boring Yeah, I know. It's just like a little it's not even a danger. I like my cryptids to be a danger What's your number one chuka-cobra is a hairless dog tell us about your some of your top cryptids Maybe some underrated the Michigan dog man is a good one

People see that a lot. I'm talking about ones that people actually see I mean the Ozark house howler is good the Ozark How that's scary it is scary if you've been to the way this was three minutes ago. He was finally found Oh my god, the news is broke three minutes ago. My phone's been on airplane. On a print document. Shit. Wait, hold on. Oh fuck. Sorry, I gotta take this call.

Yep, we got him. The Michigan dog man in Wexford County, Michigan. He's been compromised to a permanent end. They announced it on WWE. They interrupted, Cena tells us He's been found wait the middle ones the Ozark Howler. That's That yeah, that looks can it look like a jackal something I'd maybe see not to be confused with the jackalope of Montana Yeah. Oh, yeah

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and they like local tribes supposedly who've never seen pictures of dinosaurs, can pick it out of a lineup they go That's the one looks like a stegosaurus. Oh, no way. That's my favorite dino. Oh, that's cool. It's called like the McKinley Babambo McKinley Matambo, but I thought you're making a joke I thought you're making a joke Accidentally almost said McKinley, but yeah, I think it's to Kimbe Matumbo. That's what they call it It's coincidence that it's also the name of the Hooper I Think my body absorbed as Siamese twin when I was a kid some reference just from him

his death rattle Chef Donnie downstairs was a twin that he absorbed his twin That makes a mix. How does that work? No when there were 14? 14 he decided The debut of what's for lunch I'm having my twin. Yeah. Would you consider Crazy Frog a Krypton? Crazy Frog certainly is a Tulpa. Without doubt.

Without doubt, we spoke him into existence. My first tweet after getting hired by Barstool, and I got like that influx of followers, was about Crazy Frog. When you went to his Spotify You know there's the picture of the artist at the top of the Spotify page you could scroll down on his and it was just his cock First thing I ever tweeted was as a barstool boy was crazy Cog

Yeah That is an aerial That an aerial regular next to yeah that's essentially Wiped out your phone real quick man was shaking It was too blurry to show. I swear it's a cock. Man, it's Chicago. Can you search my Twitter for Crazy Frog? Because it was so funny because they had to crop it.

I think Crazy Frog, he DM'd me after tweeting it and he said ding ding. No he did not. How devious is that? Who runs that account? Lifehack. Search Crazy Frog on Spotify and pull the top songs down you can see the His little uncircumcised toad peener. Yeah Yeah, it's pretty good. Oh my god. What a watermarked crazy frog watermarking that where he's watermarked his

Marking your dick pics. Like, whose cock is this? Dude, that's for sure crazy, Froggie. Watermarking your dick pics. He's a voyeur, man. He's an exhibitionist. He loves to be seen. That's part of how he gets off on it. He also loves to die.

There's a lot of different rumors about how he's died. You're thinking of the Loveland frog boy that's encrypted from Cincinnati. Who's actually an iguana. What? A lot of people see like frog creatures. They see him in Tennessee as well. Oh yeah look, crazy frog DM-y. June 15th, 2020. What's that say? Oh, Mr. Frog. Frog you respond mr. Frog. That's crazy frog to you brother. Mr. Frog was my

Great yeah, you do you have me ding ding Yeah, I love DM and celebs ding ding dude he said it at 5 in the morning That was him ringing the bell Crazy frogs cock for dinner Thank God that little blue cock was watermarked or else I would have never known it belong to crazy I would have thought it was any does any man's How do you know about cryptids Kyle I Just know the local ones

Yeah, of course the Fresno nightcrawler because it's just Legs there's a good one in Murfreesboro by where my mom lives Murfreesboro, Illinois has the big muddy monster And it was found by my great uncle who was later killed by his wife It's a long story, but he found he a local policeman, and he saw this big money monster, for lack of a better term, walk out of the river, out of the big muddy river is why they call it that. Oh my God, and he was big? He was apparently, I mean, scared to live in daylight,

so I'd say, big as a pig, large as a toad. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Wise words. Me and Kyle did the Skunk Ape tour in Florida.

Oh wow. Uncle Lazer saw Skunk Ape in Texas. No kidding. I didn't know he was traveling that far. Yeah, what are his dates? Skunk Ape? Got double booked at the club. I'm opening for the Skunk Ape tonight in Okeechobee, Florida. Right outside of Lake Okeechobee, Florida People see him a lot. He was only seen which kind of leads credence to the story He was seen only for a week in the 1970s. It was in the New York Times people saw this large Nasty muddy monster in Illinois, and they never saw him again And then you're the only man that saw him was murdered. He was later silenced

Yeah, by my great aunt who used to have to go to weekend jail because she shot him wait She only had to go to weekend jail for killing him yeah I used to have buddies who used to have to go to weekend jail in high school Oh, yeah, so you just get in trouble, and I guess you get a good lawyer or a good job And you just have to go on the weekend not bad sleep away not bad take a little time away from the kids Have you guys ever been a cell? I've never been in a cell yeah With the yeah with men

My first day of college oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I talked to beer on the sidewalk put away cried twice Yeah, yeah, yeah, I talked a beer on the sidewalk put away cried twice Then got out and went home and got poison ivy all over my ass Wasn't the same day was the same week yeah, but a brutal week. Yeah, I've been four times all drunk in public I've been five times one time was shoplifting. Okay. were you stealing for drunken publics and necessity or a want The the stealing yeah want yeah, no the chase I took a bunch of Ritalin when I was 18 And I got super drunk and I stole a bunch of lunch meat from this publics You saying you wanted it didn't need it implies that you weren't gonna eat it. You weren't gonna fiddle around.

I was on riddle and I was eating air. I was eating molecules. You could have cut the air with a steak knife. Cooked to perfection. Splitting atoms just to eat. Alpenheimer would never. Say Busty, where were you hiding it? Stealing on lunch meat is. I was so drunk I was trying to steal beer and I got there and I just walked down an aisle, first aisle I saw and was just

clearing the shelves into my cart. And it wasn't the crime of the century. And and they just followed me outside and they were like, hey, you didn't pay for that. And I was like, for sure. And I was just throwing it all in the car and they were like hey you didn't pay for that And I was like for sure and I was just throwing it all in the car And they were like you didn't pay as like all right. It's it's it'll be okay. Wait the crime is you're implying that you drove here And he was like hey, man, you should probably put back. I was like definitely

They followed us heard heard they followed us home these things happen every day Oh, so they didn't get you they know you're right there No, they got my license plate and when I got home the cops were there like 30 seconds later And I was like whatever could be Even German yeah, can I help you just like a case of post-trami come out of your pant leg all that pound kilograms of pastrami it was all lunch me it was like $400 worth of like I'm not like I'm not trying to do a bit. It was like at least 80 90 percent lunch meat There was a couple cases of beers thankfully on the I got it on the river I get the beers on the on the end there

Walking out the door, but yeah, man. It was a lunch meat related crime that one had to go for a couple days it sucked had to wear the jumpsuit and everything orange brutal or striped it was stripes seems like a slap in the face gray okay alpharetta County jail Georgia brutal so you you stopped drinking in college so you were stacking these young I did but I picked it back up and then I stopped again but yeah I just can't handle the bottle man. Yeah, but when I was a young man, I used to love To hurt myself and drinking. Yeah. Yeah falling. Oh, yeah get hurt big bump

You would actually get injured sure sometimes fall down the stairs Yeah, that would be a wake-up call big noggin. So when you started comedy, were you drinking? Just for like the first year, but I was like 20. I stopped when I was 21, so yeah. That's a great age to put it down. Yeah, sure. It's just getting started. You did your homework first.

I gave up pussy at 18. Yeah. Yeah. But I picked it back up during COVID, so I drank for like six months during COVID heavily and then I gave it up again, but yeah. Just a spray, yeah. And no weed, no nothing?

No, I can't do it. Yeah, I just always had a horrific drug problem. So I don't do it, but yeah. I went to detox a bunch, I've been to rehab a bunch, but I've been sober for years, but yeah. Congratulations. I used to love it, oh, it's so boring. How are you uh on the weeds again? Are you off? I'm on Everything everything you're on everything

Yeah I was gonna tell you guys you're on everything now just weed no smoking just addibles But we'll see how that goes. And I'm like, oh, I won't do it every day. I have to take no consecutive days, but it's over. Why is it over? It's over. Like, I'm going to do it every night for six months and then quit again for three months.

Where have you been VRing? Oh my God. It's so wonderful. Please. Resolute Canada, I'm stuck in these like ultra-Arctic towns in the ice where there's no Flora and I'm implies you don't want to be there

Take off the head says an app. There's an app called wander man Narnia oh god damn it. This fucking sucks. He's in Narnia. This is fucking bullshit. Where's the fucking exit? Touch your face. Help! Alright, welcome to the future.

Cause that's... You must be very high. I get very high and I... I'm freezing. Your nipples are hard in the 90 degree weather just goosebumps it can have that effect yeah you've gotten cold right it's like when you kind of taste desserts and dreams kind of that was a very normal thing I've never tasted every like pigged out in dreams I don't know I don't

ever say you wake up immediately after like I swear I tasted that cuz I definitely derived some pleasure from that. You never have like you never binge eat Maybe that's engine purging. I think you I think you keep yourself devoid of all like bad foods that you You're the only one that dreams it you can do it in real life really easily I mean I eat sweets now that I'm on the weed but like I do have dreams where I'm eating the like delicious foods and I can Swear to you I taste There's something going on sensory wise

Yeah, dreams are powerful. Yeah, man I'm not touching that I'm not touching that Sulfas no planes to lacks on dreams. We just let them we're just like oh, yeah Look, it's a daily thing. Yeah, it's just a daily thing. It's thinking Not it's not just thinking yeah, it's thinking I can think whatever I dream fuck you I Can think whatever I dream that's heavy man Wow

Yeah, it is yeah direct it's tatted on me I Can't think what I dream that's Andrew Lloyd Webber. That's cats I Was watching some of your stand-up and you said it was it your one of your family members invented the high-five Sure, yeah my uncle Don yeah That's gotta be some old money man. Is that an older uncle for sure yeah? Yeah much older than me You might be surprised, but he yeah, man. He was slapping and I remember as a kid I was actually there when he when he did he did the first one and they hit this guy The guy went what the hell was that and Donnie stops?

Alright, yeah, yeah, take your time. Mm-hmm he stopped and He said I'm gonna call it a high five Wow and Next thing you know is on a freaking billboard in damn, Amsterdam Was he pissed when the low five came out sure yeah, that was an undermining of everything he'd ever worked You're not gonna fucking believe that was a political political witch hunt Down low What's the fucking boy

The whole point of the high five is that it's high It's one. It's not about the five, it's about height. It doesn't. So yeah, anytime, like obviously it's unregulated like street wise, but anytime anyone in a movie or TV does it, I get a little cut of that. Nice, those residuals have to be crazy. High five royalty.

Has to be crazy. Oh my God, if they film the end of a baseball game, you gotta be loaded. Yeah. Oh my God, that's cha-ching. Cha-ching, cha-ching. Rrrrr. That's so cool. I gotta pick my job off the floor. Yeah, some of these numbers are astronomical.

It's been a blessing, I'll say that. So in some ways I do, you know, I come from money and then I'm happy to give it back to the community. It's very nice, yeah. What do you do? I haven't done much, but I will... Nothing yet. for money and then I'm happy to give it back to the community. It's very nice. Yeah. What do you what do you do? I haven't done much, but I will. Nothing yet. I'm planning on getting around to it. I'm getting older. So I just turned 30. I figured by 40, I plan on giving away about half of the high five money.

That's really nice. Yeah, to be up. It's high two and a half. Five billion. Mid two and a half. Yeah, I get points. I get I get points on the high five. Yeah, it be upwards high two and a half five bill hits two and a half. Yeah, I got points I get I get points on them Yeah, it goes to miles Yeah, my American Airlines app donate miles to charities I'm gonna donate my miles to a real Facebook friends. Just give them miles Hey, man, I heard you've been struggling money wise so here's his five thousand

more miles than you've ever seen Give them the proclaimers man, that's great Claimers would love that Was just for the proclamers If you're not the pro If you're not in the band the proclamers you're gonna have to stop right now because it's just for them The Joker would hate us. Why is that just we're being too funny? You're right, that's my thing. Hey, let's pivot to riddles. I guess

What can we do without pissing a Batman villain off? Not much no Yeah, man the Joker he hates some sounds of merriment. He's like the Grendel From Beowulf what a pull Are you familiar with the Yule Lads? I actually don't. The Yule Lads instead of Santa, some Scandinavian country has the Yule Lads.

Iceland. See the Grendel is harrowed by the sounds of singing, so the sounds of merriment piss him off. Incredibly deep pull. He's a descendant of Cain. Absolutely. And Abel and Seth. He hates Maryman. He would hate dawn music Who's dawn music the dejected buffoon of a pianist in the Muppets universe?

He always starts a song and then he forgets the lyrics I'll never get it. I'll never get it. I'll never get it I'll never get it. I'll never get it. I'll never get it Start to write that He's always like writing songs that already exist like Yankee Doodle or the alphabet and he's a B C D E F Oh I'll never get it Bang his head on the piano Music and Kermit will come as Kermit support him or make fun of her. It is very supportive. He always has still ever woody There's so many muppets, it's just an ad for condom above that but you said condom

Don't music fans need it. It's gone now. We know you're fucking, we don't even care about the brand. Just get one. We just need to introduce you to the idea. It's the awareness of protection. We'll get to the harder stuff later. Today's episode is brought to you by Condoms.

Any of them. You know the Muppets, they used to be on SNL. Yeah, that's right. I can only imagine how that played with the audience. I'm sure they thought it was confusing. Oscar the Grouch used to be orange. Really? Yeah. And then he got dirty. They kept him green.

We're a pro Muppet show. Very pro. And there's a huge void in the Muppet historian community after that guy was cheating on his girlfriend. He's out. Yeah, he was the premier influencer. That's right. Well, we're pro Muppets, but anti Walter Walter's just a boy. There's nothing to him Walter is the worst They try to make Walter

Like a teen boy. Yeah, they try to make Walter the new Kermit and instead of being like a cool-ass frog He's a teen boy. He's a fan dude. Look at him. He's a fucking he's a fan He is he's literally a fan of the Muppets in this Muppet universe So what are you to be the man you got to beat the man? Flair said that Walking around the Kermit sure your poser. He has a Kermit watch on to it seems time Walter lives with his brother Gary and both of them are huge Muppet fans Yeah, wait till they they lack self-confidence wait till he finds out You want a fucking

Grammy for finding out he had an epiphany. He's like am I a man or a Muppet? That's right I was written by one of the flight of the Concord guys Serious yeah, wow you guys know a lot of Muppet stuff. Yeah, we weren't kidding. I think I like it around here I didn't know about dawn music though. That was a pretty deep cut. He's not really Just take the compliment man, yeah, you can't go deeper than dawn music Chip the IT guy no there's no way there's is that real no you just make that up. Yeah, it's hard to tell what a real Now is too far That was yeah, it was fucked up. Oh my god

What do you get off Casey where you going to next? Yeah, I am in Kentucky and Rally and I'm in just for laughs. I just got the news. Oh right on Congratulations. Yeah, pretty cool. That's been one of my one of my big dreams. So yeah, that's at the end of July So so now that is that what's the next big dream? I want to get past at the Comedy Store. Yeah Oh, yeah, nice. Yeah, so I think I'm gonna move to LA for the fall and try to get in the rotation there So I get along with those guys real well over there, so not as a permanently move Just for the fall I guess wait. What was the question?

You answered it. Well, don't you answer to you? Explain you said it but yeah, I should go back to it. It's one of the best answers just for the fall. Yeah As far as answers, I actually that was one that was there That's one and then I want to film my special so those are the two immediate nice Yeah, so I've been touring this hour for like two years and you know plus or minus some riffs So I want to get it all on the books. That'll be good, but JFL. That was a big one So I'll try to I'm in Edinburgh Edinburgh fringe as well, so that'll be fun in the fall So and then I you were we were talking down in the lobby to MOOC, you're going to London for the 4th

of July which is a slap in the face to America. Oh, I'm Benedict Arnold. Yeah, I like that. I'm going for the 4th of July because Black Sabbath is playing their last show next weekend with Alice in Chains. How old would the members of Black Sabbath be? They're like in their 80s I think. All of them are probably in their 80s because they started in like 68 or yeah thing yeah 68 God nailed it um

So that'll be so sick man. I'm so excited. It's Metallica It's unbelievable pants era the lineups out of this world That does sound right at the butt that At what cost leaving the US of a I know well You can't put a price on it put black Sabbath as girls. You can't put a price on these concert tickets You just can't Holy shit, they're hot. Oh my god nice very Oh, yeah, they're hot. Oh my god nice very

Print that out There's a thumbnail for the gig over the show That's all girls nice. Oh my god. I forget about him every once in a while, and then you see one What the heck oh my god talking about black Sabbath no chicks Babes talking babes Talking babe Yeah, it'll be so fun. It's just one concert all day. So I used to go to Bonnaroo when I was a younger man.

So I never get to see music like that. Bonnaroo getting canceled this year and I saw like POV. It almost seemed like war footage of like hearing the screens. They were wailing. They were wailing. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It looked like it was just a natural disaster.

Yeah, it was. Yeah, it was. Moaning and wailing. I thought I was like watching something like it was like a live leak audio But it was a little bit of funny the day the music died How did you do Bonnaroo? Did you go all in? Yeah, that was back when I was drinking so I would just like wake up on the side of the road all the time It was so sick. I one my favorite. In what manner? In the vehicle? Or like were you on stray? No, just on my person.

Did you wake up and just continue your morning? Or did you wake up and just get your bearings? Or was this something you were expecting? So this is, I went three years in a row, so there's all kinds of crazy stuff. But one of my favorite stories is I saw Diane Ward, the South African man. Crazy South African man.

And I was so coked out and I was so drunk I took everything out of my pocket so I could jump higher Goku training gravity for diet would Get a couple more inches drag there's too much resistance. It won't make you jump lower that's Drag there's too much resistance. It won't make you jump lower that's And I put it on the ground and I granted to my credit I was jumping out the gym I look like oj mayo Getting up there, and then I just forgot all my stuff Yeah, you probably jumped too high and you were looking down and couldn't see it anymore

God we really are just ants aren't we? From all the way up here But I got so drunk I was like well good night and that guy just fly away Just took out two packs of cigs and flew away Comedian just put down his ridge wall and flew into orbit I put it on So I lose every Everyone in my possessions, everything to my name

And I woke up on the side of this footpath at Bonnaroo And I woke up And the only thing in my pocket It was almost like a prank on myself Was one crumpled up dollar bill I had a $1 and No wallet no phone nothing no possession

Did you go with people or did you go solo? No no no I went with a bunch of friends So I walked back to camp and my friends were up and I was like something bad happened. I jumped too high Where your knees sore literally Icarus. I flew too close It's all what? What happened? Who gave me the dollar I? Could have jumped so much higher without this fucking thing Why did you guys tell me to take this out?

I don't know there might be one time I was all I don't know they're my dude. One time I was speeding up on something molly or something and I unblacked out and I was literally doing stand up for this Asian family in their tent. I swear to god this is true. The sun was up. I had blacked out for however many hours and I unblacked out speaking. I was mid-riff for this Asian

family who was like and they were old I swear to God this is true they were old old as fuck none of them were below like 40 it was like these old Asians and I was going like yeah and it's like top of the morning and then I had a moment of sentience and I went they were like don't go and I was like I should go You guys have been lovely you throw everything out your pocket and rip through the top of the tent Unblocked out my stop speaking Whoa that is a special I would like to see oh yeah From the Bonnaroo tent they're really excited. How do you think you did you I don't know what I would have found common ground on

I don't know. We're you stand up at the time like professionally. No, I was probably like a year and maybe and I was just so drunk I was just going for it Is that something you would do you think you would seek like I gotta find an Asian family to perform for I thought you meant Like you're gonna find a seek to Something I'm seeking out Who's to say right? I mean, what is ambition and what is faith Wow interesting Wait, oh my god, there will be blood when ambition means faith You just look down

I'm feeling I need to take a long look in the mirror Find the right words to say but I couldn't tell you what compelled you know what compelled Da Vinci to create the helicopter You know what I'm saying, so well Probably probably thought I really want to fucking fly. Yeah, that was probably it but at some point I wandered into the right tent, and I gave him the show of a lifetime It's like Bernie Mac at the Apollo I Yeah, that was probably it, but at some point. I wandered into the right tent, and I gave him the show of a lifetime It's like Bernie Mac at the Apollo See rocket at the tent the Asian tent oh my god. Well. Thank you so much man. It's been a blast

Go see him in Kentucky somewhere. It's Kentucky Thanks, yeah, I'm in Louisville, Kentucky all my dates are on Casey rocket comm so happy to be here You guys are so funny. No, this is a blast. Thank you If you're lucky you might just he might just appear in your tent. Oh my god. Yeah If ever falls off the wagon yeah, give me a couple butt ice you'd be surprised See Casey and the mean nicker at Zany's July 2nd. That's right. Only a handful of tickets left. Woohoo.

See the boys. It's about to sell out, so go get those tickets. Exciting. Thanks. That's it. Perfect. Thanks.