A New Untold Story - Kissing - A New Untold Story: Ep. 375

Episode Date: December 21, 2023

Nick's lips hurt Ads: Factor - Head to https://FACTORMEALS.com/kb50 and use code kb50 to get 50% off.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, a new untold story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcast, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad free on Amazon Music. Do I have a deep voice? That was lower than your voice typically is. Yo, do I have a deep voice? That's not your voice. No, this is how I sound. No, it's not.

I sound like this. I think you have the highest voice on the show. I know. Yeah, yours is borderline squeaky. You have mad upward inflection. Me? I'm not saying I don't. I have a way deeper voice than you no you always are like but why that's inflection but my baseline voice what no you have this you have the highest pitch voice on the show you're always like kyle kyle kyle no but i inflect i'm sorry that i'm not uh monotone

but my base level voice like if if i rolled over in bed and it was like the first time i spoke to you in the morning you would be like oh that's it's like raspy that's like i sound like miley cyrus i do have an immensely monotone voice and it upsets me but it's high yeah yours is high pitched is it yeah yeah see that's how it usually is i feel like if i do in any stream it's weird like if you saw me do inflection i feel like i would seem odd you can't do it unironically you do it like a gamer voice what's up guys yeah like yeah no you just just keep your high voice i'm not gonna be able to change anything see it's it's you're lowering it on purpose no that's not there

that's your voice that's my voice yeah it's high it's really high pitched it's not that high pitched talk like this yeah is that yours yeah type shit type shit you hit every syllable yeah uh wait are we recording i would just need a clap but yeah oh we have to yeah yeah shit cold open you mean you're exactly reply to what i'm gonna say no you're just gonna say like no that's a newld story. Hey, is that story old or told? What? No, baby. That's a new untold story. A new untold story.

It's a fresh, big untold story. A new untold story episode uh 374 closest yet 375 yeah 375 very cool just an extra one an extra clap yeah yeah sure fuck it wait what i say every syllable you pronounce every syllable why wouldn't i say you do do that i i said i didn't i think it's intellectual it's the antithesis which means opposite yeah of southern urban Yeah. Of Southern urban. Southern urban? They omit the final syllable. Like people from Memphis? Memphis. Yeah, they don't touch the syllable.

If it ends in a consonant, no, it don't. No, it don't. Memphis. What else? But the Memphis accent is unique. They're like music. Oh, I didn't know that. We'll get to that.

When? There'll be a callback to that. Like later today? Very soon. Like in the next 20 seconds. 375 is... Pull up my notes. Sure.

375. Oh, we'll do this 100 episodes ago was episode 275 makes sense kb's birthday mystery featuring wait is today your birthday no oh no oh that was just 100 100 episodes doesn't equate to one year yeah or my birthday Do you remember what that was about? Yes. Because I didn't for a while. You got sent a nude. I got sent a pair of breasts nude in the nude variety to... Both bare or one...

From a girl I went to college with years ago. But no face was attached to the breasts. No face. It might not have been hers. And it turns out it wasn't't her but it also wasn't the dude who sent me them so it wasn't the dude that we called and pressured the number that sent me them wasn't or it was i think it was a 50 50 split do you know this mook he was here no i don't think he was i don't think for episode 275 no i came in Someone texted me a picture of their tits Or someone's tits

Human tits Yeah And we called the number live on air It was a very nervous man Who answered claiming he swore it wasn't him And then we still don't know if it was him or not So that was 100 episodes ago That was 100 episodes ago

So he sent you his tits? No he just probably found tits online. They were female. Yeah. They were female tits. Or male tits. Okay, but wait, do we have more on that story? No, it was just like a look back 100 episodes ago. Oh, cool. To an extent.

Yeah. 375 is the combined weight of Victor Wembanyana and me. Wow. How much does he weigh? 209 to my 166. Pretty cool. He's 75209.

Rudy, what do you weigh? 200. 200? Two bills. Damn. And you're 5'11". I am six foot yes correct but i did the math he is proportionately like he is just as he is just as much taller than me as he is heavier than me house what how does

that math work out our total weight he makes up 56 of that okay total height. He also makes up 56% of that. You wouldn't think he's, well, I would quick. You would think it would be higher, more than double. He'd be way taller than me than he is heavier than me. Oh, so you guys are okay.

Really cool. So you're exactly half. You're exactly 56% of Victor. Women. 44. Yeah. 44% of 375 is the amount of dollars the band quill got paid to perform at woodstock 1969 i don't know the band quill which is perhaps paradoxically their lasting

legacy so they were the first to perform at woodstock 1969 in front of a crowd of 400 000 jesus which is unfathomable. Yeah. And because of a technical glitch, it was raining. They didn't make the Woodstock movie. The documentary that put everyone on the map. Santana was next up. They only got paid $750. Santana got famous. Very.

From this documentary. Quill didn't get shit. Can we look up Quill bad? Quill is up in arms. Damn, I feel bad for Quill. I know. Here's the catch. What?

Quill, their set, their music is absolute dog shit. Oh, they're not good. They're horrible. Have you ever heard a Quill song? Here's a piece together of their set. It's garbage. They're playing in front of 400,000 people. That's the last four World Cup final attendances combined.

Here is what they sound this is their their songs this this is really bad but this sounds like a campfire orgy. Yeah. Yeah. And they just do like... Oh, they don't have words? That's the best part. That was pretty good.

Wonder why. To 400,000 people. Yeah. How did they get on? So was nobody famous at the first Woodstock, really? Jimmy Hendrix got paid the most, $18,000. Okay. Which with inflation would be about $147,000.

Okay. I think he was famous. But yeah, that's Quill. Damn, poor Quill. That's all I have for three seconds. No, that was interesting. Did anything happen to Quill? Did any good happen to them?

No, like that ruined them. Is there a section in their Wikipedia about this? There's not. It's hard to find things about them. Early days. Yeah. Damn. Poor Quill. There's a big section on Woodstock.

Damn, man. Yeah, that's Quill. Well-deserved. All around. Yeah, well-deserved. Happy that 374. Last one in Chicago for one episode. Have you prepped your dad for next week? I haven't told him yet, but I think he's going to be on. Yeah. Will he be in the same house as you?

He will be. Yeah. So we can get him on. Yeah. Just walk up with your computer. Yeah. It'll be. We've never done this before.

Definitely not, no. But it'll be a big episode for us. Yeah, I gotta get them prepped, yeah. Happy birthday, Maresh. Comes out tomorrow. Tomorrow, yeah. I mean, my Maresh Blackhawks jersey. New Year's resolution of mine

is every paycheck I will be buying a custom Maresh. How many Mareshes do you have? Six Mareshes. Six Maresh jerseys. Yeah. is uh every paycheck i will be buying a custom maresh how many maresh's do you have six maresh's six maresh jerseys yeah and one and one real one do you count maresh as a maresh no maresh isn't a jersey maresh is my friend i know i'm just saying like i would count them i wouldn't count them as a jersey i would count them as a friend but you have maresh's i have one maresh friend okay i'm just asking so you have six right now? I have six Mareshes. Once you get seven, does it jump to eleven?

Jesus Christ. God. I didn't think, though, this looks exactly like Maresh in every single way, pretty much. Yeah, the logo. It kind of does.

But yeah, I got it custom made. Instead of getting Captain, I got the A Because India is in Asia, so this is an Asian Indian Not a native But uh, yeah Let me know what the next jersey I should get is But I'm gonna get one a week And I want this wall to be the wall of Maresh's You should get a Steph Curry jersey

But it says Maresh? It still says Curry Yeah, I guess that would make sense Maybe put, yeah, M. Curry We could get a Steph Curry jersey. But it says Maresh? It still says Curry. Yeah, I guess that would make sense. Maybe put, yeah, M. Curry. M. Curry. Maresh Curry. His last name isn't Curry, though.

Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I guess he's associated. Yeah, I'll just get a Steph. Okay, we'll get one Curry jersey. Yeah. What teams do you have so far? Astros, Mets, Rangers, Pirates. This. have so far astros mets rangers pirates this um and one uh um um like a la liga team that was his and i took from him that's six i think that's six six yeah so you have an idea these are like a rhyme

or reason for like the next ones you get well this one i was going to a blackhawks game right every time i just go to a game and they can do custom jerseys there, I buy one. Got it. The Maresh one. But the listener, if you guys want to hop on board, I want this to be the wave. I want like people to see like Maresh jerseys around and have them think it's like a thing or a brand. I think I'm making Maresh my brand. That is ambitious, but I'm for it.

There's one guy in Philly that has a maresh eagles jersey yes yeah yeah yeah but get the maresh send us our your receipts we'll fuck around with them we'll tweet them it will tweet out your receipts it'll tweet your receipt of getting a maresh but not you in it yeah one day i hope to see a bump into somebody else wearing a Marash. Mm-hmm. I want it to become like a- 375. What do you want it to become? I want it to be like Nike. Like people don't, if I see somebody wearing Nike, I don't think they know.

I want it to become huge. Maybe you start with Asics. I'll start with Asics. Yeah, I want it to become Asics. You know Asics? I love Asics. Oh. You love Asics?

That's a wrestling brand no it's a cross country brand running shoes as well yeah what did they make wrestling shoes that was our big thing

the Asics I also wrestled one year in high school so I found out Mook I just found this out I didn't know that when

7th grade 8th grade sorry 8th grade I went out for the wrestling team because I didn't make the basketball team and I didn't make the basketball team. And I went.

We tortured those kids. Yeah. Oh, I was like the. I'm kidding. Well, they did torture me because they were like, oh, you're not good enough for basketball. Like now you're coming here to like join the club kind of thing. And I went one and 11. What was the win?

It was versus a girl. Really? Yeah. I swear to God. That is so big because imagine i know that could affect the trajectory of your life but the other 11 l's were like within a minute like i was like the meat slab they threw out to like the 135 weight class when i weighed like 108 just to like fill a spot now i would just get ragdolled was the girl the first one

you wrestled no i wrestled her like three matches in okay so you're kind of confident after that win no okay it was like a do or die situation like i probably would have quit the team if i didn't beat the girl but wait you stayed on the team after going one and eleven oh yeah it was fun yeah practice was fun we get a photo of you and this was fun yeah i hated practice we were like a small school it was very like fuck around and like playing sports in middle school was like it was more fun than it was competitive i've never had fun playing sports honest on i just came to that realization never have i dread it every time. Like pick up? Dread. We grew up in a pick up area. Bethlehem, we love pick up.

There was always pick up. Always, never enjoyed, never have had fun playing sports. No. We grew up in a, yeah, it's sports or nothing. Yeah, I mean, we grew up, we're a town of fucking 800 people and we had like seven baseball fields around, like within a five minute walk. It was more baseball field than, it took up as much area as the homes did yeah there's so many there was so

many baseball i used to look them up on google earth and pin them you'd pin the baseball fields in just our area or what let's talk about memphis okay um that's their their um zip codes are 375 dot dot dot. Okay. That's Memphis. What do we know about Memphis? Grizzlies, Beale Street, Zach Randolph. NLE Choppa. Yeah, I actually have a list of the rappers.

Memphis rappers? I tiered them based on how intimidating their their name is okay interesting what do we have there's a lot of rappers um well the first one is i love memphis slash i heart memphis no spaces lowercase i very unintimidating yeah yeah the lowercase i as the onset is like as flamboyant as you can get in my opinion the lowercase i if you start with a lowercase i and then go uppercase that that just seems it looks it's like it's like tech oh techie or flamboyant okay either or it's a fine line between tech and homosexuality and then what's's, he also, he fits the bill. He, um, he hit, his debut single was Hit the Quan. That's his.

Oh, that's I Love Memphis? Hit the Quan. Made his television performance debut on The Ellen Show. Oh. So not, not intimidating. No. Not hard. Not cold.

Um, called a cop a pussy ass immigrant. That's the coldest thing. He's the hardest thing. Pussy ass. The cop was a pussy ass immigrant? Yeah, he threw a part. What was the cop ass the cop was a pussy ass yeah i throw it apart what was the cop do we know i don't know that's all i got then you got the next tier this is the flamboyant adjective tier dj squeaky and juicy fruit is there a chance these you could probably you're putting yourself in danger i am yeah because young dolph is gonna come up okay Okay. DJ Squeaky.

Obviously, that's not intimidating associated with things like cleanliness, rubber duckies, cartoons. Rudy's voice. Rudy's squeaky ass voice. Guilty. His little ass couch. Juicy Fruit, not intimidating. Well, it's tough because juicy implies curvaceous, fruit implies gay.

Juicy Fruit is a woman. Yeah. Oh, is she curvaceous? She collabed with Saucy Santana on the track a woman. Yeah. Oh, is she curvaceous? Collab with Saucy Santana on the track Pino Noir. Does she have a crazy big ass? I would imagine. Yeah.

Yeah, does she? Oh, my God. Yeah, she juicy for sure. That's her in a... F-R-O-O-T. Oh, Juicy... Oh, that's how they spell fruit in Fruit Loops, I believe. Yeah, which makes it less intimidating yeah yeah then you got like kia shine and glorilla are on the same oh i like her you know glorilla i like glorilla yeah she's on the come up yeah okay kia shine yeah that's like

the job the least intimidating automobile it's it's the easiest maintenance to do to an automobile when it's the least intimidating. Not intimidating at all. Kia shine. Oh, he's intimidating though. Is intimidating. Yes.

Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Shine. The next category. Mr. Also not intimidating. Pooh,

shy, Steve and drummer boy. Um, both little children's characters yeah Pum Pum Pum Pum Pum Pum Pum Pum Pum Pum Pooh Shiesty is in prison so yeah Shiesty is intimidating but it's

spelled like Pooh as in Winnie the Pooh yeah Pooh Winnie the Pooh should have went by Winnie correct yeah I guess that's like calling java the hut the hut yeah it's java yeah not intimidating character um yeah why didn't he go by winnie yeah why do we call winnie what is a poo well if he's a poo that means there's many poos if he's one of many poos what's a google what's no one ever calls winnie the poo

winnie yeah i wouldn't know who you're talking about at all oh you mean the poo oh winnie please my father's winnie call me the poo wait did i say swan why is he called poo yeah there we go but poo shysty got his start he would wear a uh red um crop top and no no pants that's not true wait a swan is a poo is a swan it was originally a swan in the 1920s it's a very fine name for a swan. I don't think it's like an actual word. Okay. It's a,

it's a, it's a specific swan that the, this dude would feed. Okay. So I guess he's one of, yeah. Okay. That's Winnie the Pooh.

Then we got snooty wild, which snooty means uppity, uppity snob. Turn your nose up. Yeah. He, yeah, he've,

his name is Lepreston Porter porter too which is also not intimidating but um he's really against kissing he thinks that's gay he thinks kissing's gay despite yeah that's gonna hurt you he has a bunch of songs about uh we don't do no kissing no kissing no kissing we don't do no kissing no kissing no kissing oh he's very anti-kiss don't know where your mouth be that was the sentiment he doesn't know where their mouths been so he's not gonna kiss and he repeats that a lot he reiterates we don't do no kissing no kissing you silly this might be uh kissing is the best then zedzilla jumped on the track and also reiterated that wait zedzilla doesn't like kissing? We don't do no kissing. Can't even blow a kiss my way. Don't even play in text messages.

Hey, yo. Leave me no kissy face. Do girls just sign off letters with a bunch of O's? I guess. And he's also in the camp. Yo mouth been so messy. State to state with that face. Yeah.

She stay on her knees all day. Yeah. No kissing. Next tier finessa two times no spaces times with a y to the number that someone who finesses is somewhat intimidating but that reads like a like an aim pro uh it's like a screen name it might have been um he was imprisoned for firing ak style pistol at a person at a nightclub. So these are just by names, not by themselves. These are intimidating people.

People, yes. The names, this is the ambiguous category. Tommy Wright III and Cities of Eve. I didn't know if that was intimidating or not. I think it might be. The next tier is Block Boy JB. Intimidating. I don't think. You next tier is Block Boy JB. Intimidating. I don't think.

You don't think Block Boy is? It sounds like the kid in class who would try to eat the Lincoln Logs. It doesn't sound like that hard. I think I'm just afraid of all these guys. Gangsta Boo. That's scary. Boo. Boo like a ghost.

Yeah, like a gangsta. Boo. OG Boo Dirty. that's like scary boo boo like a ghost yeah like a gangster boo um og boo dirty the next category is one i can't say koopsta nick censor crunchy black and lord infamous that's three six mafia then you got the intimidating category key glock and le choppa those are guns guns uh the next tier is al capone just with a k yeah oh yeah you get you kind of yeah that's scary and then adding switching out a c with a k makes it way more intimidating somewhat it's a sharper letter yeah al capone intimidating rap name and then the final tier is just his name is Criminal Man. With two N's and an E.

Oh my God, yeah. That's number one. Criminal Man. He spells it out for us. And he was indeed a criminal. So yeah. Yeah. Those are Memphis rappers.

Interesting. That was a fun lesson. That was a fun, fun lesson. I enjoyed it. And this is Pooh Shiesty speaking and you have to translate it I got this I think Rudy will be good at this

oh man I was could not take Spanish but I am fluent in Ebonics My earrings They knew My ears not even pierced Wait Pierced yet

Yeah Good job pierced yet yeah good job mmhmm one more yeah can we hear that mmhmm the burr was cool those are like a couple days old these two they came together.

Yeah, you guys got it. I don't know what that was. The big bird was on the right track. The big bird? The big bird chain. Oh, it was icy. Freezing cold icy, yeah. Got it.

Would you want Criminal Man on the pod or would you be too intimidated? Yeah, let's get him. Let's reach out. He's in a movie called The Neighborhood Dope Man. But he's also in Insecure Romance. Oh, cool. The Neighborhood Dope Man. Guys, I'm making a decision for us.

We will be doing a watch-along live next week that people can tune in for, and they can watch this with us. Yeah, I'm in. All right. Struggling with his finances, working as a mechanic, Crim Mane chooses the dope track

as his side hustle. Until a client offers him a dangerous proposition. The cops are here. Don't call me criminal. call me crim there is there is one omission just call me crime did i forget i feel like i forgot a lot yeah probably there's one big one i do i thought you're going to talk about oh duke deuce yeah yeah huh the one he's he has a like one of the greatest videos every time where he gets resuscitated in the booth that's a good oh that's him yeah duke deuce yeah he's got crazy feet work what does that mean when it comes to rapping his dance moves are incredible oh for especially for a bigger yeah yeah crunk ain't dead yeah

yeah youtube youtube uh just like got rid of all ad blockers yeah it's tough a lot of tiktok guys telling you how to get around it oh is that him dying right there yeah oh yeah that yep oh no he's dead he's dead in the booth oh this is fucking sick. That's really cool. Oh, he's the best. Yeah, this is a crazy omission. Good call. What tier is he in?

Duke Deuce as a name? Nah. Mid-tier. I don't think that's intimidating I'm too afraid to make a joke you could you could like play connections with the rappers yeah you'd be in the poo shy steer with Duke odes to I guess deuce as well sees and then there's also money bag yo and yo gaudy so the i forgot them too yeah i like money bag yo he goes hard these i'm sure all these fellows do yeah yeah i'm sure that'd mean a lot to him wait yeah uh tweet him right now and remind him that he goes hard guys if i'm sounding really really relaxed right now that's because I'm

buzzing off Lucy I just took a breaker out they are incredible it's my favorite way to get my nicotine fix yep that's right I usually like the mangoes we have the mangoes up there if you open those smells like you're inside of a jamba juice but it's not

it's cooler it's time for the part that nobody ever skips sponsored by Lucy nic lucy nicotine lucy nicotine gum pouches and breakers have three things in common no tobacco powerful nicotine and delicious flavors they send us a bunch of products to try the 12 milligram it feels like i'm on the phantom's revenge at Kennywood Park in Pittsburgh. It is a rush. My word. Tastes good.

Feels like the gum. Feels like normal gum. They all taste good. And they all have a good kick. Good nicotine kick. Visit Lucy.co and use promo code anus. A-N-U-S. Get 20% off your first order.

Shipping is always free. There's a 30-day refund policy if you change your mind. Lucy.co. Code anus. 20% off. Always always free shipping here comes the fine print lucy products are only for adults of legal age and every order is age verified warning this product contains nicotine nicotine is addictive chemical no duh which brings up another point mook was a wrestler for a year. He was also a drug dealer for a year. You were a drug dealer? Yeah. You were pushing weight?

Not just a drug dealer, a known drug dealer. Mook was a known drug dealer. He was a mean. Yeah. It wasn't like a good thing to be known. It was like- In like high school? Also, Mook got kicked out of Penn State.

Oh, we're doing this. Why have you been sitting on this so long? Mook was a drug dealer his freshman year at Penn State. Yeah. Selling weed? Yeah. Well, he was... All right, I'll...

I want Kyle to tell me. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ahead. Mook was in a position to be selling weed. He instead doled out weed. You doled it? He gave away weed. Yeah.

That was his dealing. Were you too shy to ask for money? I was too down to like, I was too down for people to have fun. Like it would be like, oh, I'll hook you up with like 1.3. So you had to have been so popular. So you were how many degrees from the kingpin?

Two. The kingpin sold to a guy who sold to you. Yes. It was that guy intimidating. No, the guy that sold to me was like my boy. Okay. And he would front me an O every week. So I'd have an O and the plan was to sell half so I could smoke for free with the other half.

And every week I would just end up like handing out free weed or like someone would come over that I'd give him like 1.5 for like 10 bucks when I should have just gave him like one um I would like people would come back did you get fired no he was a student yeah I was a student I would just end up like paying more for the ounce than it was like that I should have. Like I would lose money on every bag that I got. So and you got thrown out of Penn State for this? No.

No. That's a separate story. But he was known on campus as Orange the Drug Dealer. Like there was like Yik Yaks or Snapchats going around. Yik Yak was big. Talking about Orange? Orange the Drug Dealer. there was like uh yik yaks or or snapchats going around talking about orange orange the drug dealer like they would spot him at like the rec hall or the cafeteria and like look it's orange the drug dealer yeah like like would there be yik yaks like just saw orange the drug dealer playing badminton that was that was one but the big one was i was at the gym and i was like running on the treadmill and then all of a sudden i got back on snapchat when at the gym and i was like running on the treadmill and then all

of a sudden i got back on snapchat when i got home and i saw like a picture going around it was like yo orange the drug dealer works out it's like me on a treadmill it was crazy how people became like legends in yik yak in college my roommate became my first taste of uh going viral was on yik yak really yeah i kind of chased that too yeah yeah it was i was i was crushing you what were you saying i was saying nasty shit me too nasty nasty shit and i was making up lies and uh there was no like i got a rush but then I realized that nobody knew it was me. Yeah. What were you saying? My big one was Ebola.

One of the first cities in America it was founded was Akron. Okay. And I said, Ebola wasn't, fuck. Ebola wasn't Akron? I feel bad for Ebola. That was our Akron. I feel bad for Ebola. That was our rival school. Yeah. Yeah. And it probably went crazy.

Yeah. And then one of our, one of my teammates got kicked off for just saying there's going to be a bomb at the football stadium. That's way funnier. And they traced, they found out his IP.

I kind of felt bad for him. Did he get kicked out of the school? He'd get kicked off our team, yeah. For saying there'd be a bomb at the stadium? Yeah, dude, I was talking about Ebola. He said bomb. Where'd he end up going? Is he doing okay?

He just yik-yacked a bomb threat? Yeah, I just remembered that. He booted off the wrestling team. And did he leave the college? Embarrassing way to go. Yeah. Was it even a clever bomb threat? He was like,

bomb at the... I think he was just like... It was just a classic bomb threat. Straight to the point. There's going to be a bomb at Dick's Stadium. That goes... That explodes. It's going to explode. to be a bomb at dick stadium that goes that explodes that's gonna explode he was almost like

telling people like he was almost helping yeah like hey just so you know and i like yeah he's like i'm getting in trouble for this i'm just warning people not my bomb yeah we got to find out where he is i I really wanna know if it fucked up his life I think I blocked him why he was he would cyber bully me what

was he a mean guy yeah I think when I yeah dude wrestlers are dickheads some of them are yeah I think I remember

starting up Instagram stories again. And every time I posted, he would just say something mean. Wait, is this the bully that was looking for you? Well, remember you have that bully. He goes by something the bully. I still get... What's his name?

It's Mean Peter. He actually sent me like a selfie that he was in Chicago. Mean Peter. Mean Peter's been bullying you for like three years seven years seven years since the craigslist days me and peter always hated me and then every like i would actually try he's been trying he's been in multiple rediscovering america cities at the same time as you no he didn't i'm friends with his friends and i keep like trying to like peter's funny guy like he i love how he'm friends with his friends. And I keep trying to like, Peter's a funny guy.

I love how he fucks with me. And they're like, no, no, he doesn't like you. So, Mean Peter. That's what his name is? Mean Peter? What's the last thing he said to you? It's been a while, but his friends were always up to me. Like, yeah, Peter still hates you. If you want to come out and meet us at a bar.

I was like, no. Are they witheter they're yeah yeah his friends are super cool do you call him mean peter is that his instagram handle i'm the only one who calls him that's his instagram and he only tweets at me peter's a funny ass name mean peter is yeah isn't it is it a burner just to be mean to you no no i'm looking at his no he's tweeting he's tweeting about like jake browning and the and the bangles i knew a kid named uh cocaine tim what about him he just loved coke yeah but your your roommate got yeah yeah my roommate became just sort of like a like a like a character he became like a mascot on yik yak he had uh he's this big dude he ended up

becoming one of my roommates canadian lacrosse player looks like channing tatum super jack tattoos and he had a star tattoo on his elbow the same one that dak prescott has and on yik yak he just he just became the go-to person to talk about so like someone would remember how on Yik Yak someone would post like about a party or something and everyone would just immediately reply is StarTat gonna pull up is StarTat gonna pull up StarTat StarTat he just became known as StarTat and he didn't shake it until literally his senior year he would walk into places and people would be like, oh my God, StarTat. And he hated it. People were like mocking him?

Kind of mocking him because he was sort of mocking the ripped guy that looks like Channing Tatum. Yeah, and he couldn't square it because he's like, I'm ripped. I have tattoos. I'm a great athlete. And he just couldn't understand why they didn't like StarTat. They were mocking him. It's amazing how something can break you like that. Yes, yes.

And he just hated the tattoo. But his funniest tattoo tattoo this dude's a great dude i love him he had this tattoo by the star and it just said inspiration oh it was awesome dudes like that have never been inspired though he was looking for it oh okay yeah so it was like one of those it's like when you're trying to learn how to elucid dream and you write a you draw a dot on your hand to remind you ask yourself am i dreaming yeah it was just like i need inspiration oh wait okay there it is not one of the hardest spots you get an inspiration tattoo you your inspiration was somebody else with an inspiration tattoo yes yes saw it online how many people with a music note tattoo do you think know how to read music sort of in the same vein as like the chinese tattoos like you can't read chinese but you have

that yeah yeah i think so yeah yeah nick can you what can you hook me one of those nick yeah aren't the drug dealer brings up a lot of memories yeah what else i would you eat so i would get front of the ounce and then like people would be desperate for weed because no one had money so like they'd pay me like we'd go out after a night we'd be hammered they'd be like here's five bucks and then they would just smoke all my weed why did you get start doing it money or french like you i think that's a better method than like joining a frat yeah i didn't join if you can afford to do it that's a good method yeah but do they even what do you mean by afford like go to jail if you can afford oh not that but to like be the weed dealer who just gives it away to get people

in your good graces but i never liked hanging out with weed dealers i wasn't i never did i don't even know i was just a guy with weed you know what i mean they called you orange the drug dealer yeah yeah but was it like they were your friends or was it like a lot of they were approaching you like the red cross a lot of them were my friends it like a lot of they were approaching you like the Red Cross? A lot of them were my friends. And then a lot of them were just like, oh, we can we can just like get wheat from this kid for like nothing. Did it ever get you attention from like women? Yeah.

Yeah. I would smoke with girls, but like I never hooked up with any. Right. Yeah. But like every week I was on the hook for like two hundred and seventy dollars. And most weeks I would not make two hundred and seventy dollars. Girls that you didn't know prior would come over and smoke with you yes that's like hitting three of four legs on a par

leg yeah exactly and it's still just as good you still got the rush it's the whole time i'm like maybe yeah but then you got kicked out for a different reason yeah if we want to go down this path we can no it's up to you man yeah well my first week my first my first week at penn state i got an underage i blew same yeah blew a 0.2 oh my god yeah like a 0.21 0.3 is death 0.21 is a blacked out i think very out i was walking home with my buddies from a party and i kicked over a trash can and there was no one in the area and then all of a sudden like five bike cops pulled up so that was like strike number one yeah i was 17 so they had to call my parents

nice not great yeah and knowing your parents you know or your mom at least she was angry they were ready to pull me from school and then the second one i was like laying low and i went out to a party and i had one beer you were laying the block was hot i mean i was like i was nervous as hell like a GTA character? Were you hiding behind a trash can with three stars? I was just like super nervous to like go out and get drunk. That's fair. That's fair.

And then on a Thursday night, I had the option to stay in and watch football with my buddy or meet up with my other friends at a party. I went to the party like kind of late. I cracked open one beer, had a sip of the beer. Party gets rated. A little point zero to.02 okay done that as well a week later yeah so i got two strikes now in my first like two weeks of college play it safe the rest of the year just smoke weed whatever the last just deal weed just sell drugs run on the

tread play it's smart just go up to a federal fence yeah and then the last week of school we had like a party and uh that got raided that was my third strike i didn't get in police trouble for that but the school found out and that was my third strike and they sent me they were like you can't come back here next fall that's almost hard to do at Penn State. Yeah. I have to come. They haze to death. They rape kids. Penn State, Altoona. Changes

everything. Mooc, what? That changes everything. We did... Mooc, what? We talk about Altoona all the time. Also, I spent a year there. We were on the Bracket podcast yesterday and you kind of talked about this story. You never said Altoona.

I was saving it for this. You went to Penn State Altoona? I didn't get in the main campus and I wanted to go to Penn State. That is... Belafonte High School is more Penn State than Penn State Altoona. Dude, I got there and I was like, what the fuck am I doing?

This happened at Penn State Altoona. Wait, you were Orange the drug dealer at Penn State Altoona. What? That is so uncool. That was the worst thing. The coolest I've ever viewed you

was when you were telling me this story. The Penn drug dealing legend and then he drops in at the end that it's altoona yeah it was like the saddest part of my life for sure and then you transferred to temple or did you take a year off i took a semester off transferred to temple that's an upgrade that's yes that's how i like got my life together because i was like oh i have to like so whenever you talk about like your time going to parties at penn state you're talking about altoona so the first underage was that main i would just go to main campus every weekend because my friends were there that's really sad and then you'd have to drive back to altoona on sunday yeah how far of a drive is that like 35 minutes 45 minutes so you know about Altoona we talk about Altoona often Mala the cups the sheets the hook the train

dude the curve going to school and it's like half country folk and half like black people that are like I'm gonna go to Penn State it was like the weirdest mix of people ever. Yeah. How many people were there? Aren't there a bunch of like side campuses colleges have? Penn State has a bunch. Yeah. Like Harrisburg, Abington. They have like places everywhere. Yeah.

And you were Penn State Altoona. Yeah. And I got into like good school. I got into like Indiana, Temple, like UMass. And I was like, I want to go to Penn State. So I did Altoona. Because I got waitlisted from main campus and didn't get in. God damn, I never knew. Yeah.

Huh. Factor. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Woo, woo. Rude boy, you hear that? I heard something. It's a factor alarm, brother. That means I'm about to talk about Factor.

The best meal delivery kit there is is they have calorie smart choices for big boys they have delicious meals for big boys too if you i mean they're all good they're all good so big boys little boys big girls little girls um i'm doing really really good doing this ad now guys treat yourself to high quality, delicious meals over the holidays. Choose from 35 plus chef crafted meals every week. 35 plus meals. Can you name 10 meals off the top of your head? No, 35 is a ludicrous amount.

I think the average person probably eats six meals total. Yeah. Six different types of meal. Creatures of habit. 35. This December, get Factor and enjoy eating well without the hassle. Simply choose your meals and enjoy the fresh, flavor packed meals delivered right to your door.

Head to factormeals.com slash KB50 and use code KB50 to get 50% off. Dude, I just had one yesterday. Oh. The Factor meal was so good. What'd you have? I had the cavatelli with queso or something else. It was phenomenal. Goodness gracious.

I had the chicken baconi with queso and something else. It was phenomenal. Goodness gracious. The chicken bacon ranch. Golly. Yeah, they sent a bunch of meals to us in the office, and I am excited to bring those home. It's code KB50 at factormeals.com slash KB50. 50% off factormeals.com KB50. Rudy, what you got there, man? It is a fish tank that you and Kyle gave me today. That's right.

20 gallon. 20 gal fish tank. Everything you need in there. Merry Christmas. I think it's an aquarium. Yeah, it's not a fish tank. It's not a goldfish bowl. Is there a... Okay.

It has the filter. It has the water balancing. It's a very nice gift. You seem like you should be a fish tank guy. Thank you. But I had to go... I couldn't go pick this up so i tasked kyle with it because you said you were next to a petco but how did you before you get there

how did you land on this for me you seem like a fish tank that's that easy yeah we're getting you a fish tank got it it was the first it was never a doubt never one doubt we've known since halloween okay cool cool how is it it's very obvious what i think it is that you're a fish tank guy oh okay like aquarium i'm aquarium guy yeah okay yeah no it's cool as hell i'm actually pretty fucking excited it's like a very fun new project and i've never really had pets so it's it's good i think it's gonna be cool um but we were going to go bigger yeah we have 55 55 gal yeah so that so significantly more longer and taller yeah what happened

Kyle gutted online and then I don't know what happened you waltzed in here with a 20 the worst retail experience of my life no yeah it was was it a pet smart

so when you're thinking about oh should i actually get fish for this and like take care of them and upkeep with the tank yeah you kind of should to reciprocate what i went through okay what could this have possibly been because you've had some bad retail experience so this was the word you can even i there you can look this up this is the pet smart in south loop um can we yeah pull that up you don't even have the reviews are abysmal all of them all my dog has ptsd don't take your pet here um that's not the worst part i guess the rumors will like 4.2 4.2 yeah in south loop Yeah. Go to Yelp. Go to Yelp. Real quick.

Did you write a review? I didn't yet. But... 3. 2.9. Which is horrible. Yeah, that's pretty bad. Horrible.

This place is inaccessible by vehicle, which is hard when you're taking an Uber to and from and have to lug a tank. This place is underground. No. In an underground parking garage bunker. So you have to go into the road level Whole Foods, then go out, then get on an elevator, go down two floors. Then you're in a parking garage, completely dark.

Is it a sketchy area? Yes. And then you go into the PetSmart, which is in the middle of a parking garage, if you can picture that. Hardly. And you go in and there's at the lobby, a beggart warning you loudly about the poop on the floor. What is it?

He's a poor, he's a, maybe a homeless, probably a homeless beggart. What's a beggart? A beggart. That sounds like a beggart beggar sounds like someone from the shire uh b-e-g-g-a-r-t like someone who i don't know what a beggar is a beggar i don't think it's a word dude b-e-g-g-a-r-t that's what he typed there's no such thing like a panhandler a beggar is that is beggart not a word i've used that in script and poetry there's no number of journal entries his whole thing was i'm gonna begger yeah you're gonna walk in i'm gonna do you a favor by loudly warning you about the poop all over the floor in the lobby. Watch out for the floor.

And it is shit, which is another thing. You can go on the Yelp reviews. Some people say that it is disgusting. Some people said that they saw a dead hamster on a wheel in one of the things. But there is undeniably shit on the floor. So he tells you that, and then he tries to cash in his tip. And it worked. I gave him the cash in my pocket and then but he's

a pest won't leave to the point where the staff is like hey you got to stop telling people about the shit on the floor you got to get maybe clean up the shit on the floor the staff was telling this homeless guy to leave and stop screaming about the shit on the floor clean up the shit on the floor um so i got the tank and i was purposely struggling well this thing was 55 did you grab the 55 gallon yeah i want to get the 55 so think of something twice as long as this more so okay and i and i i looked at this the two female employees doing nothing and then i like made sure they know i was like getting that 55 tank and i couldn't pick it up and i was like like hamming it up like hey i can't lift this seeing if they would do anything that's heavy so i got that one and you can't get picked up by an

uber there and i can't carry that and i got mook skipped in my other hand weighing me down so i tell him hey uh uber can come here and they're like yeah uber can't come there he was stuck up top so then this doesn't sound so bad so far yeah then they said i said well how do i get picked up by uber they said there's an elevator if you go outside walk across the parking garage went to that carrying that doesn't work long story short i found a shopping cart threw it in there and manually pushed it up three floors of parking garage into the cold and uh thank you man yeah merry christmas merry christmas i appreciate it was there an issue because you bought the 55 gallon on on the phone

right for pickup was there an issue of like trying to have to switch it to the 20 um no that was a lie i didn't buy it and buy it for pickup okay yeah oh my whoa what is this i gotta i gotta figure out like what kind of i think people go what what that is. I think people go, what the fuck? That's a disgusting picture of a dog. Animals are dying at this place. And I'm not even talking shit on their grooming department. Prepare to be attacked by groomers while management does nothing about it?

And then he's showing pictures of his... Did he get bit by one of the employees? So, yeah, they turn the tables, they bite the... The employees will... Erica the grooming soul. Thatica the grooming that's her she's smacking the camera they're assaulting the pets at this establishment holy shit my reservation was lost twice i was not allowed to see my dog and he was being kept even though

i asked many times oh my god dude this place is like series of unfortunate events she was housed in a tiny space oh this pet this pet smarts holy shit well i gotta make this thing good then i gotta make it right yeah you gotta go save those fish from there yeah yeah where am i gonna get where do you get fish like i just had a pet smart yeah and you carry them you should get a beta from walmart because they keep them it's cheaper to just let them die than to feed them at walmart and so you just keep them in these tiny little cups seems fucked up it is you should save one so what is a beta fish um i guess you said it i don't know yeah there was an era where i feel

like so many chicks had beta chicks have bed fish. But they keep them in like tiny little bowls. They just feed off of. Yeah. But like it would love that. They just put them in mason. Imagine going from a little Dixie cup to that. Yeah. Well, I got it.

I want to make a nice ecosystem or something. Well, they're the fighting fish. If you put two male beta fishes, they'll fight. Yeah. That's cool. But the better their environment is, the more colorful they'll be. Oh, interesting. I want to make like a scene. Oh, an aquascape. Yeah. I they'll be. Oh, interesting. I want to make like a scene.

Oh, an aquascape. Yeah. I want to check out Serpa design. I want to make a scene. I kind of want to make Omaha Beach. Sure, man. Yeah. That'd be cool.

Like underwater Normandy. You have that Queen Amidala. That would be cool too. Or make it Naboo. Dude, that'd be sick. Naboo's where the Gungans live, I believe. No, Naboo is where Natalie Portman's from. But aren't the Gungans on Naboo as well?

Just underwater? They're underwater. You're correct. Yeah. Holy shit. You're right. Yeah. Yeah.

What's the Gungan city though? I think it's just called Gungan city. Yeah. What do you mean Natalie Portman is from Naboo? Well. Queen Amidala. Well Padme. Padme Amidala.

She played the character Queen Amidala. Yeah. Her home planet is naboo dude her my number one girl is when she was like the attack of the clones white yeah yep with those i got caught i got caught up a little bit of blood yeah no she was fucking throwing 98 that thing was insane yeah that was an awakening that's a launch that was that was a launch pad for me too i didn't care about fucking kit fisto anymore i cared about that was that moment where you're just like oh i i love because i was a big kit fisto kid growing up who's kit

fisto the american girl doll no no that's kit fisto's a jedi he's my favorite jedi i was a dude yeah so what do you mean you were you switched from him to port what was the same scene i was i was amped to see my boy kit fisto getting some movie love and then natalie portman was in the same scene chained to a pillar. And I was like, wait a minute. I don't give a shit about Kit Fisto. That's when you need you stop following the plot. Yeah.

Yeah. And that's how you knew you loved pussy. Yeah. That was the moment I get. It wasn't like the beauty of a woman. I love the beauty of a woman. Yeah. It's just the moment where I'm like, oh, I'm straight.

Because an alien ripped the perfect midsection area of her clothing. You're one year old when this came out? And you said you knew? No, you didn't. Look at the read.

I'm with you. I remember the moment too. But Ree said he was one years old and new. That's crazy. But I do remember I was four when this came out. I know. I, I just remember at one point being four being like, I'm not gay.

The first time I felt like a tingle in my, like my dick was, um, the lady marmalade music video. Lady marmalade. That's a Christina Aguilera. Yeah. Lil Kim,

Christina Aguilera. Pink. That's yeah. That's why I used to go to club zoo try to find her pink yeah wait what wait what's club zoo it was a underage club for under 18 overage adults yeah we had those that was a big thing in um growing up where kids would have like 16th birthday parties and if they had like their parents had money they would just rent out a club yep and it would just they fill it with 16 year olds i never had gone i never went to one really yeah we didn't that was like a premise of a show it was what sweet 16 yeah yeah yeah yeah but there

was no bentley's nothing like that so denver area would do that yeah like the uh the kids would get like run out of club that's where that's where the grind lines i was talking about recently really got solidified their legacy the grind line oh when you guys i learned a hard lesson there too is don't wear a bathing suit to one of those you wore a bathing suit to a grind line yeah yeah with the mesh underwear nope you wore a bathing suit to a club yeah it was a neon theme and i had a neon bathing suit so i was like oh did you go shirt Nope. You wore a bathing suit to a club? Yeah, it was a neon theme and I had a neon bathing suit. So I was like, oh. Did you go shirtless?

No, I wore a shirt. But why did you learn the hard way? What do you mean? It's in the name. You got hard in the bathing suit? Yeah. Without the mesh. Without the mesh.

That's why now I always wear compression shorts with a bathing suit. Because you never know when they're going to pop up. And there's no barrier. There's no, it's like going no armor. And then it's like a. So you were in a grind line in a bathing suit. Hard. Yeah. Yeah.

Now it's one of you wanting someone. Come on. Come on. You're broken, dude. Yeah. I got called a fuck boy recently. And it really it really put me on a tailspin. But it made you worse.

Yeah, I know. It has made me worse. And it makes sense. And that's why it hurts so bad uh it's tough to be a fuck boy at 31 30 and yeah it does hurt really bad yeah was it like a someone on the internet or someone in your life i was someone i was like i was i've been dating this girl and then she was just like oh it's your girlfriend no it's not it's not my girlfriend but we're dating so the girl you've been dating called you a fuck boy she's like i really like you but there's just like this immense immense fuck boy aura about you and i i i really just i i couldn't i couldn't speak well you were in the bathroom putting on one of your nine necklaces yeah like what you say i had no i had no yeah

i had no recourse because i was like that i do have that i don't really know how to combat it i think it's just sort of inlaid in my my uh coding or she was like flirting about it like hey i hate this it was a little bit of flirting but there was like majority truth telling and i think she was right and it made me think pretty hard for a few days i don't really know what to change or what to fix um i'm not gonna change my behavior change your style man i'm trying to a little bit i do dress like a buffoon so no it's cool though thanks yeah i like it i do too yeah i don't know but yeah it fucked me up for a little bit that would fuck me up man yeah good on her i needed it my lips have been chapped for like five days straight the most ch chapped. Same. I had the like red.

I had the circle around my lips like I was a four year old. I've been mixing. You've been kissing or Frenching. Frenching. I was Frenching. Yeah. Tonguing them down. I was Frenching in Cleveland.

So you need me around you. I think you lose track in your head of how much time has actually passed. I know. I know. It probably feels like, oh, that time has actually passed. I know. I know. It probably feels like, oh, that was probably like a 10 second kiss. No, it was 10 minutes. I do need you around. You kissed too long.

I do need you around to just tell me to tap. I should never go to Cleveland to French. Yeah. You got to treat it like diving. KB would be like that guy on the sideline holding back the head coach. Well, I grab you by the pants. I had KB proofread a love letter and I end it with just Nick X, X,

X, X, X, X, X. Can you mix it in a mix and a hug? Yeah. It's just like,

yeah, you'll be like, I'll be kissing so much and you'll tell me to mix in a hug. I'm like, dude, I'm good. I know my limits. And then the next morning I'm just like,

Oh, are they like swollen? They're about to fucking fall off i have to mix i have to mix yeah you gotta start hugging i do the burt's bees base coat and then i do the advanced healing on the top but the having really plush lips just makes me want to kiss more i gotta put them on the IR. Maybe the extended. It's going to be tough for you. We're going to have to get you like a funnel. New Year's Eve coming up?

I can't be out of commission for New Year's Eve. You try to make like noon a thing, like a noon make out. I do. I remember you tried to popularize that. The noon make out. Ding dong. Oh my God.

Hey you. Look at the time. Yeah, I tried to patent the noon kiss. We'll see. How do they look now? I don't want to tell you this, but they look healthy. Well, it's because I'm double sticking it's gotten that bad yeah

I've not been a slut it's the same lips that I've been kissing Nick doesn't beat the pussy up he beats the lips up I want I'm just getting into kissing at 31 it's you guys have to try this I'll be with my girl and i'll just like put her head under a pillow just like trust me

close your eyes trust me this is gonna feel amazing oh fuck i might get in trouble for that nah no no no chicks listen to this Nick have you been talking about our kiss life keep our kiss life private ugh it's so stupid but I genuinely like love kissing I'd rather

I said this before I'd rather walk in on you fucking than kissing oh Willie what's this this is a white elephant gift okay cool you picked for him it's not from you oh that sucks

oh this is actually sick I got a $50 Visa gift card that's kind of a cop out no sick. I got a $50 Visa gift card. That's kind of a cop-out. Cop-out. No, but wait. I got a lot of nicotine. Oh, that's sick. That's great.

Yeah, dude. That's a good gift. Because I'm addicted. Yeah, that's good. That's damn good. Yeah. It's going all right. We're kind of going off the rails a little bit.

I'm talking about my personal life. What'd you get? Nothing. I was literally just up in line. Oh, you're just a deliverer. Appreciate it, bro. We got a nice little deal on that one. Okay. Yeah, that was nice. Thanks, Will. This is great. We'll use him for

the thumbnail. Yep. Cool. Now, where was I? Can I get a fish for $50? Yes, dude. Are they cheap? Yes. Oh, okay. Cool. I didn't know. Yeah, you could probably get $100 for $50.

But what if I got like one really fucking sick one? That would be sick. I think having one fish that you can really bond with. Should I start with one? Search for $50 fish. $50 fish? Yeah, I don't know the price range of the top tiers. Search like, let's look at Petco's fish.

Remember we talked about cribs forever ago a mainstay for a while with sharks dudes would have the yes the pet shark yes and apparently sharks are mad expensive i don't know why he had pizza yeah i get that you should get like a piranha is that too cliche you said something crazy about piranhas before we started recording You should get like a piranha. Is that too cliche? You said something crazy about piranhas before we started recording. Oh, yeah. You said I'm insane.

I'm in the the I'm acknowledging that it's unpopular. I'm in the minority camp that getting eaten by piranhas wouldn't be as bad as people rate it. I promise you that would suck. It would be. That would be one of the last ways. Look at that, dude. Getting chomped by a hundred of those. Pull it up. It would take so long.

Oh, wait. Let's rewind real quick. Let's make this, this is bad, but like if I walked in on you making out. Oh, you, yeah. And I get that fully. Your hands like on the back of her head, just like really.

Right. That's, that's what i can picture you fucking me i can close my eyes and see exactly how you fuck kiss i can't imagine you kiss and you're right kissing actually got me over my fear of fucking because i was like as soon as i started kissing i was like i have to start fucking this is something is uncanny this is not right for me i don't know what the when We're spending New Year's Eve together. Am I going to see you kiss? Yeah, we're doing an event.

Again, I don't think you have to kiss at midnight. You're going to be with your girlfriend. Yeah, easy. At an event. We're at a black tie event. Yeah, it's going to be 11-11. You're like, I got my wish. We're going to start early and it's going to be fucking 49 minutes. Dude, my tie's going to be so loose, my hair's going to be messed up. Just're like, I got my wish. We're going to start early. And it's going to be fucking 49 minutes.

Dude, my tie is going to be so loose. My hair is going to be messed up. Just like, it's not even fucking midnight yet, dude. I've gone four rounds. You got Vaseline and a fanny pack. Dude, I'm going to like, I'm going to just be like, dude, can you please just fuck her at midnight? I don't want to see you kiss. Are you worried about it?

Yeah. I'm worried about having a wedding. Oh my God, yeah. Well, yeah. I guess that's normal, yeah. Yeah, but kissing at midnight with people around. I want to see KB hug his bride. Instead of kissing.

You're going to be so annoying about it too me? yeah you're gonna steal I don't want a photo of you kissing but I do want like a live photo of you like pushing her hair back so you can boomerang boomerang yeah you're right yeah

are you thinking about it i'm thinking about the clock striking all the cool guys you and your cool friends and like winking at me mid-kick like i'll open my eye and look at you yeah helicopter with your tongue just kiss her on the forehead that's not gonna fly no it's not gonna fly you're gonna have to block lips dude i guess we have to right is this your first new year's with her last year and did you kiss her at midnight no i've never done that i've had girlfriends on

new year's eve and it just never crossed my mind well you're gonna be surrounded by people doing it you're gonna have to black out that's not actually like you don't go to like a nightclub this isn't a nightclub this is a hotel like a black tie event yeah i think some people it's like you know dancing at a wedding you don't have to do it i think everybody's gonna do it man rudy yeah yeah they're gonna do it they're gonna do it no about everyone you're gonna cancel aren't you you're not gonna go i'm not gonna go i don't want to go everyone wants to do it everyone likes it everyone enjoys it okay i mean i just i don't know logistic i don't know what do you mean logistically

i don't know what do you mean logistically i don't know like fundamentally you know what i'm saying no theoretically uh text her right now and just be like do i have do i have to kiss you on new year's that actually playful don't do it i don't want to get you in trouble nick can you sauce me one uh, for sure. What do we got? No, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you. Oh, my God. That's nerve wracking.

Wait, back to piranhas. You'd rather get killed by a piranha than a piranha. One piranha would suck. Imagine having to get killed by one piranha. I don't know how they actually do it because I've only seen it in movies. Do they swarm? They swarm by the hundred. Yeah, never mind.

I saw a picture of a guy who was eaten against my will, who was eaten alive by a piranha. And then that made you think this wouldn't be that bad? But I'm fine with like, I guess, is their bite aggressive? Yeah, do they bite and rip? I think I could do a bunch of small bites that's what how they do it yeah to death because i can handle small bites but the big bite would be the quickest death would you rather would you take one bite from a piranha to get out of a new year's kiss i'm trying to think of body parts you could choose the body part my ever-growing ass my burgeoning fat ass

wait you know it's getting fat you have a rip under your leg right there wait your ass is too big for pain i've been i've been lifting my ass off and it's just like oh kb's ass is growing yeah yeah dude i was like give me some dealt love give me some try love give me some lat love it's always just the ass have you noticed that it's growing no yes yes yes what podcast are we on is it out yet the yak was that on the yak christmas special was it you said you've been aroused by your own ass in the room i think i was drunk when i said that you said when you do squats in the shower You purposely try to get a glimpse out of your peripherals So it kind of still looks like a chick's When I do the air squats It's like alright

Fucking this is something that I can get down Like it's a confidence boost Because I don't like see myself as But you're viewing it as a woman's ass if you're being aroused by it In a way I don't know it's just like oh yeah like This is the motivation I need like that looks good But like Arousal, like, turned on?

Yeah, yeah. Like, I would get a little bit, like, sexually charged. By your own asses. Didn't you, haven't you gotten hard from thinking about your boner in a dream? What? I've gotten hard about thinking about my boner in a dream did you say that my first wet dream was about me jerking off that's along the same lines yeah i just wasn't creative i didn't know what a woman was like you're sexualizing yourself it's yeah that's just

all i knew i could have fucked anything i didn't know the rules alright fine I was enchanted by my own ass you came to your own dick yeah I guess so fuck I was picturing like an inception like if Leo was like instead of like making this huge money move for this like big oil bear and they're like

let's make this guy jerk off it's like you see the top spinning right next to him and his ends we got him it's just an elaborate prank uh we have the fucking uh talent show right after this i have no idea how it's going to go i'm nervous for myself yeah that's why i'm drinking disaster for other people i haven't i haven't looked at the list of the people doing things. I can't look someone in the eye and be like, that wasn't good.

I don't think this is like America's Got Talent. You don't have to do that. What would really impress you? What is something that people do? Do magicians impress you? Magicians get me crazy. Singing, incredibly. I love i'm a sucker every time uh dancing no no not dancing i don't want to see dancing okay

don't want to see like stand-up comedy nothing against it we have there's a time and a place for that we have no stand-ups no lineup tonight yeah there was one guy who said just his talent was fuck you guys yeah he's my favorite that's oh yeah that's good we picked him yeah we did yeah that's a strong one cool and then the winner gets my seat on the act tomorrow oh that's cool yeah that's rad cool yeah uh throwing the ads and then. Yeah. Any housekeeping? A couple of things, but we're good on time. Oh, hell yeah.

Cool. All right. God bless.