A New Untold Story - Laps and Feeled - A New Untold Story: Ep. 387

Episode Date: March 14, 2024

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Hey, a new untold story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad free on Amazon Music. Cool. Good to go with the clap. That was a bad clap. Run it back. Oh, yeah. Nikki found something. That's your reply to what I'm going to say.

No, you're just going to say, no, that's a new untold story. Hey, is that story old or told? What? No, baby! It's a new untold story. A new untold story. It's a fresh, big untold story. A new untold story a new untold story a new untold story episode 388

I feel like that's pretty close yeah 387 holy shit what's 387 China's hyperloop train uh just reached speeds of 387 miles per hour in a test run it's one of the harder words to say in a chinese accent don't do it hyperloop i think so yeah yeah uh what what is it holes say knee poles in the chinese knee poles oh Chinese accent. Knee poles?

Oh, jeez. It sounds like nipples. Man, that's huge. It is huge. It is huge. 387 miles per hour. People will be able to commute from Tianjin to Shanghai. Really?

You could never do that before. That's people in American terms. Can you search Tianjin? No. Yeah. Yeah, try to spell it. T-I-N-G-I-N. Song by Coppa Joe. That's like people being able to commute from Wheeling, West Virginia to Chicago. Wow.

Or even farther. Wow. Or the Isle of Armor to Tokyo City. Where's the Isle of Armor? This guy. Where is it rudy it's in the southern province like southern peninsula this is pokemon land i was trying to lay you up oh shit yeah i don't remember the isle of armor oh it's what game is this from sword and shield Shield? Yeah, that's fine. That's fine. I didn't know that.

Look how great that looks. Isle of Armor looks amazing. Have you seen the antagonists of Pokemon Sword and Shield? No. You'd love them. They're Swordbert and Shieldbert or something. They're these two British guys. You'd love these guys.

They're very British. No, not Chairman Rose. Spoiler alert. Search like Pokemon Sword. I think his name's Shieldbert. Yeah, there he is. What? And his hair looks like a big fucking shield.

Yeah, he's one of the bad guys. That's a dude or like a thing? That's a dude. He's like one of the bad trainers at the end. You have to beat him. Him and Swordward, his older brother. Swordward? Swordward and Shieldbert.

Jesus. Find another picture. Find them both. Oh, yeah. There they are. Swordbird and Shieldbert? Swordword and Shieldbert. Yeah, you have to fight them at the end.

They're the antagonists of Pokemon Sword and Shield. Swordword looks like a penis. He's a sword! What do you mean he's a sword? Look at his hair. It's a blonde boy. It has the handles. He looks like a... And that's Shieldbert bert that is a dick and balls on his head intimidating intimidating villains

uh at the pokemon 387 is fucking turt wig turt wigs great it's a starter no turt wigs great the shell on its back is made of soil. If the shell is moist, then it is healthy. Okay. So this... It won't be hard. Its shell... It's a baby, dude. Its ultimate protection from environmental dangers, its armor, is made of soil.

Look what it evolves into. Got it. Look what it evolves into. I've seen it, and it's very cool. It's very cool. The evolutions are great. That's Grottle. Look what it evolves into. I've seen it. It's very cool. It's very cool. The evolutions are great. That's Grottle. That's the second one.

It's a turtle with like a forest. A whole island on its back. A whole fucking... I can get into that. You can get into that. It has to start from somewhere. If it started off cool, the evolution process wouldn't be worth it.

Torterra. Torterra's dope. It's got a mountain range on its back dude yeah i like that thank you so yeah it just can't start off cool okay is that was that your three that's all that's all there is yeah oh um the amount of murders in new york city in 2023 is that a lot or a little feels like for debate a lot apparently it's significantly down okay chicago is in the 600s okay a year down so i think it would average out to in chicago that would mean 12 people per week oh that's a lot would you willingly live somewhere if you're like 12 random people

are going to die a week we are but i don't quite know if it's random it's probably disproportionate to area area and uh behavior sure is that a lot but also yeah i think it is man yeah 12 people a week my bleeding heart cle. What's number one? St. Louis usually has the highest. Houston, really? What stats are these? These are the wrong stats. New York, Indianapolis. These are just big cities.

I think it's just by population. People always quote danger and safety when talking about big cities. Is that really an issue? I think you could find yourself in trouble in any city if you were looking for it. That's what I'm saying. I've never been close. No, I don't think I've ever seen a gun.

I've never heard a gun. I've never seen a gun or heard a gun. I've never touched, yeah. You've never touched a gun? You've never shot a gun? Yeah. Oh yeah, we did, yeah. Was that your first of seen a gun or heard a gun. I've never touched. Yeah. Never touched a gun. You've never shot a gun. Yeah. Oh, yeah, we did. Yeah.

Was that your first time shooting a gun? Yeah. You were nervous. That's why you're drinking so much while doing it. I was wasted. You flipping. He had a double barrel shotgun. My thumb was going wild.

I just couldn't stop touching it. You would love touching the gun and you you were just, that was really unsafe. And that was our first Rediscovering America. You, we were wasted shooting guns. Uh-huh. Well, they were driving like the dirt bikes like crazy. So I was like, all right, I'm going to touch the trigger. Yeah, you did.

But you tried to flip up the double barrel shotgun and both the bullets came out. Here, Mook, actually, can we go to it? Go to barrel shotgun and both the bullets came out. Here, Mook. Actually, can we go to it? Go to YouTube. That probably is the best outcome. Is the bullets falling out. Oh, yeah, for sure. It was batteries that fell out.

No, it was two bullet shells. In my head, it was batteries. It's the first one ever. So our pilot. No, go back. Here he goes. Oh, no, we did with Sydney Here he goes. Oh, no. We did it with Sydney.

We did it in Tennessee, too. We shot in Tennessee with Sydney. Yeah, you're right. You shot a.50 cal. More guys than most. I'm watching Mook Flounder right now is infuriating. You got to give me the city. It was the first one ever.

I don't think it was a city name. So we did a Rediscovering America original in Illinois. Kind of. Midwest. Midwest. Sorry, Mook. There. See, there was no name.

And let's go to... Oh, this was fun. Look how young we look, dude. There. Wow, great. You're ready to hit the range and play some pistol blackjack. Hold on. You're going to have to fast forward a little bit. I don't think he hit...

Yep, there. You never been around guns before? Look at this. Everybody's afraid. It's all in the wrist. Oh my... That was pathetic. So back up a little bit.

This is horrible gun safety. Look at the owner of the guns run away. Watch it right here. Have guns before? Know what I do? Dude, you were... I made him skip and dance.

This is a seasoned gun owner. This guy has, owns like dynamite and he's afraid around you with this. Nick raised his hands. Yeah, dude. But you can even go to the beginning. Like, you're wasted here, right? Oh, yeah. Off of fruit infused malt beverages.

Yeah, you have the drunk face. Well, back up a little bit. We have all these guns out and dynamite, and Kyle wheels out a cooler. Like, before we even shot one. Yeah, look, I have it in my... Oh, that's a strawberrita. You're drinking...

Oh, yeah. We're like, where the fuck's Kyle? He went into the house to get a cooler. And I'm not coming out with that girl. No, no, no. She just happened to be there. We're not walking together. Is that your first one?

That was out of necessity. No, it wasn't. Because you're in the background drinking them before that even happened. I'm saying I needed that strawberry to stay awake. What a fun time. I was. Big shout out to the Cannabis Cop. That's who that is.

Shout out to Dave. Yeah, Southern Illinois. I put together a ranking. I'm going to put, I'm trying to open up more. You know, last week was fun showing, you know, WFB. So I'm just trying to show more of my interest.

So I'm going to give a top five every week. I'm going to do a weed sound. Okay. That's pretty damn good. Three chi. Pound for pound before I get into it. My favorite substance that I've ever taken, effects-wise, even taste-wise.

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I like the comfortably numb. The comfortably is amazing. The comfortably numb. That's my pre-flight. I got to try full throttle Nirvana's 9 out of 10. Only because comfortably numb's 10 out of 10. Hammer of God, 10 out of 10. And many more coming that I'm itching to try. That's right.

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head over to 3chi.com and find the exact experience you're looking for within the True Strains lineup. 3chi.com, 3-C-H-I.com, and find your true strain today. Okay. This week is my top five middle initial guys jeff d low doesn't count all these are huge uh number one arthur c clark the author of 2001 a space odyssey and childhood's end died in sri lanka but before it was sri lanka he moved there before it was sri lanka what was it called uh sad yeah c e ce Ceylon? Do you know that?

Yeah. Yeah, that is correct. Number two is Alfred E. Newman, the mascot for Mad Magazine. Look at him. Oh, the little boy, the redhead. Alfred E. Newman? These are just the way it sounds?

No, I like the guys. I love this guy. Oh, these are your favorite people with middle. You don't like the way the middle initial forms? No, no, no, no guys. I love this guy. These are my favorite middle initial guys. You don't like the way the middle initial. No, no, no, no. I thought. OK. Yeah, he's a rascal.

His eyes are haunting face. I actually have some of his quotes. He's a snarky little boy. I can tell. He's known for saying nowadays a balanced diet is when every McNugget weighs the same. These are quotes that would be like, these are like Yogi Berra quotes, not a little rambunctious boy. He said that? Yup.

Well, not really, Mook. really mook uh i don't yeah there's one that he has that's just scary blood is thicker than water but it makes lousy lemonade thanks alfred classic boy and no one what does that mean no fucking clue you can tell how dated this like uh where's there's one about there's one he has about the opera because there's nothing little boys more than the thicker than water would make lousy lemonade you're right the thickness does nothing to do with the quality of lemonade don't say but it makes lousy lemonade say and it makes lousy lemonade even that's alfred e newman rascal little boy uh number samuel jackson what's the l stand for any idea what the e stands for in alfred e newman edwin enigma come on promise promise samuel jackson

is leroy uh yeah i could have got there yeah you could have got there pretty quick i'm sure Come on. Promise. Promise. Samuel L. Jackson is Leroy. Yeah, I could have got there. Yeah, you could have got there pretty quick, I'm sure. I have him on here because, have you guys seen Kingsman? Yeah. He's the villain in Kingsman, and he just decided to give the villain the thickest lisp of all time. Himself? Yeah. It was a creative decision.

I think the first villain with a lisp. Had to have been. It's a fun movie. It's a fun, fun movie for sure. Was he in, what else was he in? Well, he was in Deep Blue Sea. So I watched that rated R movie hoping to see my first set of tits. Deep Blue Sea.

But instead I saw the best death ever with him. Because I thought he was the main character of the film. Second death. He was the second. Yeah. He, cause he was like, we're going to swim out of here.

What had it? What was the, what made it the best? Watch it. It's so unexpected. It's all right. Mook. You will certainly hear the lisp on the images tab.

I've had it. I fucking had it. Yeah. I think you need to get to the bottom of this. You're clearly sick of him. Mook, fire back. Someone else can run the computer. Let's play Good Cop, Brad Cop with him. Good Cop, Brad Cop?

Yeah. What should I be? You'll be Brad Cop. All right. Mook. Mook. Mook, look at us. I know deep down you're a good kid i know your intentions are there they're pure but what i really need to get out of you i just want to know the truth man i want to know the truth of how everything went

down and i know enough enough enough i'm brad yeah that's what he says is all good but I'm Brad Brad I was like anus episode 2 we thought it was I still love it good cop Brad cop is one of the better bits of all time we never did that before

we have done that but that we should just our humor was just like slightly rhyming. That's all it was. Property, mostly. Property in the markets. Nothing questionable, if that's your concern. I'm just in to finding out

what caliber person you are. I'm sure you understand that. Yeah, lisp. Out of the lisp. Thanks, Moog. Nice. Was he in, what plane movie? Soul plane snakes plane snakes snakes plane okay snakes on a plane soul plane was uh kevin hart and snoop dog no if not if hijackers middle eastern hijackers took over the soul plane where would they crash it into

we said this on the bracket uh they would crash it into uh that that wing strip club in atlanta magic city yeah yeah yeah for the wild and out building the wild now the wild and out Avengers Tower in Atlanta they project hijacking the soul plane would be a really good sketch I know oh my god i was i don't want to make any more jokes no i want to where do you think they'd crash it um all right what's i mean atlanta is probably the top yeah city what else would it could it be i don't know all right next middle initial guy is uh optimus j prime middle name jazz people don't know that. This is the Optimus Prime? Yeah. It's just gave his middle names Jazz.

A lot of people don't know that. Yeah. Okay. You like him? Yeah, a lot. How could you not? But the whole reason I'm doing this whole thing is because I found a middle initial name that rocked me. It's Washington State's mascot, Butch T. Cougar, which would be the most haunting lesbian of all time a butch t cougar

like an old yeah it has a buzz buzz cut jack old and hot oh but like but very very lesbian butch t cougar like oh there's a fucking butch t cougar over there and i was trying to think of a bigger lesbian name than butch tea cougar and all i have obviously i have shalik zapus but yeah uh strap on like strap on softball player like divorced parents and then cod mcbreath butch tea cod mcbreath but likereath. I can't think of a bigger lesbian name. Think of a scarier woman than a Butch T. Cougar. Just google a Butch Cougar.

And then we'd add T to the equation. Oh my fuck. I'm gonna kill myself. No! How? Search Butch older woman. Yeah. Maybe try Bing.

Yeah, that's a good call. You should be a Bing guy. Why is this autofill? Wait, the butch flag's just an axe? That's awesome. autofill. What the fuck? Wait, the butch flag is just an axe? That's awesome. The butch flag's a throwing axe?

That's so sick. I'm buying it. Yeah, the butch flag is awesome. We gotta have it if we have the twink. Wait, that's so metal. See, Mook? Happy accident. We need that with the twink flag. Yeah, we're getting that. Wait a minute. It's purple with a black upside down yeah triangle like with a fucking war axe that looks like a team in halo

yeah it does dude i'd be intimidated as fuck by this oh yeah no kidding you see that on the back of a super you know it's that's the is butch like the medical term for that type of lesbian is can you be diagnosed with butch are you allowed to say butch yeah i think it's going to be serious. Is butch like the medical term for that type of lesbian? Can you be diagnosed with butch? Are you allowed to say butch? Yeah, I think it's fine. They rock it. I think it's the antithesis to bear. Wait, what's the lipstick lesbian flag?

Wait, butch? Can you say bull dyke? No. But that would be a good mascot. I wish we could. Okay, yeah. I would love to yeah i would love to i would do yeah that's the lipstick lesbian that one sucks what is lipstick lesbian mean a very very feminine lesbian i suppose i was talking about that with someone that's exceedingly rare i feel like yeah yeah oh yeah yeah that's not good enough that right there is a little bit of a faker every yeah like that i want it to look like the

butch lesbians look like harry potter characters. They do. They dress the same. I think she was in Harry Potter. Was she in Harry Potter? They look like they all could be candidates for... Kyle, read this headline. Stone Butch, but not blue. What? Is that what it said? Yeah.

What the fuck does that mean? I don't know. Why is Stone Butch a name? What the fuck does that mean? Why is Stonebush a name? Stonebush, but not blue. Interview with a proud truck dyke. Gay Iceland.

That's the funniest headline of all time. That is the most niche thing of all time. Who is that article for? Of course it was written by Yaz Duncan. Who read it? is that article for of course it was written by yaz duncan who who she wait what what's it say i'll be found drinking a rum and coke yaz duncan proud writer read hit that back one i want to let's become a yaz duncan we're yaz duncan fans she's the uh the bush lesbian i want to get a coffee mug talk to me after i'm done reading my yaz duncan article i'll never forget the day i heard truck alessa for the first time she's the truck dyke blogger from iceland she has to be running out of truck dykes out there they're stranded in the arctic circle

with only a finite amount of truck dykes she has to be running out of material the most we have to that's a rare we have to stock iceland the nichest thing in the world. We got to endow this woman, fund her some way. Endorse you mean? Endow her? Yeah, give her money. Give her some money or a penis. Give her money or a dick. You got to endow this woman.

I want to fund her. I want to stock Iceland with more bull dyke. Truck dykes. Read that article again. Read the title title the headline stone butch but not blue stone butch first off is that a name or a phrase is that a photo of stone butch and does not blue mean she's not sad stone butch but not blue again what is the butt tale stone butch but not blue interview with a proud truck dyke this is for gay iceland.com of

course this is for gay iceland.com the butch femme dichotomy or dyke cotomy sorry not sorry oh my god yes yes so wait her name her name isn't Stone Butch. No, it's... We don't know what Stone Butch is. Stone Butch, but not blue. What's Stone Butch? Okay. Female Butchness. What is it?

They don't allow their genitals to be touched during sex. What? That's a Stone Butch? Wait, what's blue? How close do they get, though? Yeah, wait. I'm going to say if you're not getting your genitals touched, it's not gay.

That's what makes it gay. Yeah. I'm gay, but I don't let dudes touch my dick. Yeah, stone butches are cishets. Who would have thought? It has its own Wikipedia page. Go up to the Wikipedia. But that still doesn't explain the but not blue.

Oh, it's a book. Oh, an ode to blue balls. Oh. Maybe they're still getting off. But not letting the genitals be touched. Uh-huh. Interesting. That's crazy. Iitals be touched. Uh-huh. Interesting. That's crazy.

I thought of like a sci-fi. But I'd imagine the blue there means but not sad. Game time. Kyle, you know I love games. You know I love going to games. But you know I don't play games. You never play games. I never will. You'll never catch me playing games. So that's why I'm being. you know i love going to games but you know i don't play games you never play games i never

will you'll never catch me playing games so that's why i'm being you when i'm saying this you know i'm not it's no clever ruse ain't no pin the tail ain't no pin the tail ain't no bob for apples it ain't no duck duck goose what did you say knock knock goose duck i said duck duck um no you don't do knock knock jokes no through knock knock jokes i don't do knock-knock jokes. No, I don't do knock-knock jokes. I don't play. So when I say this, take it to heart. GameTime is the official ticketing partner of Barstool Sports, and I use it to get all of my events.

Look, right here on my home screen. It's GameTime. The white G, not me, the logo. Look, right here on my home screen. It's game time. The white G, not me, the logo. I feel like some of you forget that there are events you can go to. Everywhere. It's not just sports, music, concerts, obviously comedy shows. Ask me what I just bought tickets for. What you just bought tickets for.

Mamma mia. The play, Broadway, yeah. My, my, two tickets, Orchestra Pit, Nicky Wow Nicky's Lass Yeah, and they're obsessed with finding you ways to save money They're absolutely nutty about it I've witnessed it

Go to Game Time They have deals, oh, this is my favorite perp We've talked about it before But they have deals on tickets right up to the start of the event. If you're a spontaneous dude, take the guesswork out of buying tickets with game time. Download the game time app. Create an account. Use code untold for $20 off your purchase.

Terms apply. Again, create the account. A redeem code untold for $20 off. Download game time today. Last minute tickets. Lowest price guaranteed. Yeah. What did you think of? I'm stuck on

the dystopian world where every time you come, you get even hornier. You're stuck on that. Yes. Society would crumble. Because you would turn into the Mad Max war boys if you busted once. Or we would become

the war heroes what we i don't know when horniness increases when libido increases don't isn't that also like strength strength and bravery i think you'd be too preoccupied by like if you got horn if you you get hornier when you come, that's a vicious circle. I couldn't imagine. It's funny you said Mad Max because I immediately thought of this as a Furiosa. Stone Butch? Yeah.

Yeah, for sure. She's driving a truck. Looks like a lesbian. Wait, yeah, but she just might be... A Furiosa. Can we go to more Yaz Duncan articles? Yeah, I would love to. On GayIceland.com?

Furiosa. Can we go to more Yaz Duncan articles? Yeah, I would love to. On GayIceland.com? Do you think Yaz Duncan is like the Barstool Tate of Gay Iceland? What do you mean? What would that mean? When did she write that? She doesn't write very often. No.

I mean, how many topics can you find? Can you Google? I want to get to the bottom of what all this means. Well, I want to know if there's a Stonebutch flag. Stonebutch flag. Yes, please. Oh, it's kind of it's good palette. it's a good palette that looks like a sweater eric foreman would wear wait that's just the butch flag yeah so there's different styles of butch flag

stone femme stone butch okay that's a nice that's like a stardew valley color there is a subreddit r slash stone butches only 167 members but there There is a subreddit, r slash stonebutches, only 167 members. But there's a second subreddit, stonebutchbulldyke. How many is on there? Oh, that's a user. Never mind. Let's see what she's up to. She's a stone top.

But how can you be a top if you're stone? Stonebutchbulldyke. You just hover she her dom multiple did spoony uk working class bad mouthed sex worker gamer juggler singer songwriter erotica writer cocky bastard and then here's the link for nudes click the nudes that's too many things to be good a jack of all trades that's too many things to be good a jack of all trades that's too many things to be good you can't be stone and a juggler yeah what is this what is a spoony i think you would like to be spooned you think what do you think it is someone who just goes to weather spoons a lot

cocky uh real cocky bastard 666 only, fans. $6.66. So if you're a stone top and they can't touch your genitals, you get on top and finger blast? Yeah, what do you do? It depends on what the other person is. Can two stones be together?

Magnets? I think it would literally be like two stones kicking it. It would be stationary, not touching. Because stone means no touch, right? Genitals. You don't touch the genitals. We need to figure out. I want to figure out what subgenre we all fit into.

I'm straight. That's yeah. Okay. Yeah, true. True. But like, there's got to be more than that. If there's this. Oh, yeah. If there's like okay yeah true true but like there's got to be more than that if there's this oh yeah if there's like yeah uh are there the same sub genres for straight yeah but i bet there should be what would you be chlamydia chlamydia yeah chlamydia i would be chlamydia i would be i would

be i would be uh uh a chlamydia bottom yeah yeah you would you'd be as a gay man as a straight man you're a straight straight assist chlamydia bottom just getting dumped in dude yeah it's not my fault getting dumped in no what what did that get it dumped in your bottom you're getting dumped rudy has chicks finishing him yeah no you first you do have chlamydia right i do not okay i do not i have before yeah like uh last episode no no that's that's a red herring no i did not have it last episode but anyone can have it at any point and not know it. Oh, cool. So technically. Very cool. Statistically.

Yeah. Statistically. One in five will have it at any point. Yeah. During an episode. 20% of men at any given time. During a podcast. We'll have it.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Quick run antibiotics. Just off the IR real quick. it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Quick run antibiotics just off the IR real quick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Now you're stoned. You can't get chlamydia if you're stoned.

True. But if you get chlamydia, you have to act as a stone. You do. How so? Because you can't engage in sexual activity unless you're a demonic. Oh, look at that one. Go down. Scroll down. Oh, hat. The one. Go down. Scroll down.

Hat. The flat brim. No, right. Yeah. She looks like the lead singer of the story so far. So that to me is attractive across the board. Yeah. Androgynously hot.

Yeah. Androgynously hot is interesting. It looks like my boy Brendan Nolan. Looks like your boy Brendan Nolan? That looks like your boy Brendan? Yeah, that's my boy, Brendan Nolan. Looks your boy, Brendan Nolan. Boy, Brendan. Yeah, it's my boy, Brendan right there. That's every dude that ever broke their forearm on a dirt bike. Yes.

Yeah, he was a skater. Okay. Yeah, that's every dude in any West Virginia documentary right there. Actually. Yeah. Wait, go left. Go left. What is this?

This is weapons given. Oh, oh cool what is weapons assigned to lesbianism it's like a spectrum yeah high femme would be the i guess yeah the what do you call the saber katana's femme butchy femme is a war axe how did the how did the pistol get in there the fudge tattooed on you i have a fudge tattooed on me you have a in there you have the fudge tattooed on you i have a fudge tattooed on me you have a fudge i have a fudge tattooed on me what's fudge fem fem butch is fudge fem butch i have a broken soft butch tattooed on me yeah you do i also have a soft butch tattooed on me that's what i'm when i get weapons tattooed. It's the symbols for. So Fudge is out. What now? Fudge is out.

What? This is two years ago. It must be very out or it's coming back. I don't know. We got to open up like a lesbian weapons bar. Yeah. Like a lesbian. Yeah.

But not not axe throwing. That's been done. What would as lesbians probably want a shot put a lesbian shot shot put and discus it's just going to look like the principal from matilda everyone is going to be the principal from matilda to get in let's open up a lesbian shot putting bar which okay what should we call it i'm gonna be awesome yeah yeah a lesbian shot put bar something and and feel, track and field. What rhymes with track? Lap means to lick. Lap? Lap and feel, F-E-E-L.

E-E-L-E-D. Yeah, lap and field. Lap and field. Yeah. Oh, my God. It'd be like a warehouse vibe. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, that would be the scariest bar. scariest parking lot has four spaces subarus only subarus no no no no parking like you gotta park like on the grass like in you have to go off road yeah yeah you gotta take an off-road route you have to park like when they show like showcase a jeep yes like a skew on a rock yeah Oh my god. That'll be the scariest bar in town. Accidentally walking into the lesbian shot put bar. I think it's on a mountain. On a peak.

No, I think it's on like a dock. Next to shipping containers. Who would the bouncers be? The bouncers. Matilda's principal. Can we see her? She put that fat boy in the pokey. I forget her.

Yeah. Oh, yes. She can bounce. Yeah. Oh, she shot put. No way. Oh, my God. She was.

All right. All right. Yeah. That's crazy. Miss Trench Bull. And then who else would bounce there? We could try to get the guy from Berghain. I feel like he'd fit.

Who's that? The famous bouncer from the rave club in Berlin, Berghain. Oh, I don't know who that is. We couldn't get him. No, we need big. We need the clientele to feel comfortable. Yeah. Yeah.

True. True. You search biggest. What about Brock Lesnar's daughter? I don't think she's a lesbian, but she's a shot putter, right? I think we're just naming women shot putters.

Ms. French bull and Brock Lesnar's daughter. They're in my top two. We're having a hard time making stretches. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. stretches yeah yeah it'd be chelsea from love is blind which one's she the megan fox megan fox now she's the one that claimed what exactly i've just finished it yesterday so i'm still in the throes of it yeah i think miss trenchrench Bull will be a bouncer, and so will the Pokemon Grimmsnarl. Okay.

Yeah. That's good. Yeah. That's good. All right. Yeah. We got to hire him. We'll hire Grimmsnarl and Miss Trenchbull to be outside of Lappenfield.

What about the bartenders? Oh, yeah. And what kind of bar are we thinking? Like chalkboard with beers on it? I think it has those clips with just the chips that you can't really buy anywhere else. Like those off-brand Funyuns that are just called Onion Rings. They're made by Utz. Yeah.

They're sponsored by Utz. They're sponsored by Utz. Utz is the biggest butch brand. They're sponsored by Utz. Look at all the Utz chips. All the lesbians are eating Utz. Oh, that's such a lesbian brand. Oh, look at the logo. All the lesbians are eating Utz Red Hot.

Utz Red Hot. Oh, that's a lesbian. It's red hot. Yeah, that's a lesbian, dude. And look at her just like sneakily reaching into the bag. We got to get her as a bartender. Yeah, we could get her. Yeah, she'd be perfect. She's always blushing. I feel like cashew, what is that? Cashew cereal, for sure.

Cashew cereal in a goblet. Yeah, I think we'd have like granola shots. Yeah. Hard kombucha what what do yeah what's a typical lesbian meal besides cute like yeah what do they what do lesbians eat because we need to know okay yeah good i feel like the i feel like a paleo bowl The dark brown chip from Chex Mix They only eat the

The pumpernickel crisps The pumpernickel crisps from Chex Mix That's all we'd serve Yeah Just special request Guardettos all pumpernickel yeah this is great we're gonna open up yep can we call uh do we know anybody in the

business field we don't pay the duck called on tech you would believe us called on pay and ask edge like hey I think we should open up a shot putting lesbian bar. My good boy, that's me being a gentleman. When you're watching The Gentleman on Netflix, that's not what you should be expecting. Right, this is Guy Ritchie's series based on his movie. And these guys aren't really gentlemen, per se.

movie. And these guys aren't really gentlemen per se. Virgin Mary full of weed, Hitler's balls, cocaine chickens, and a priest with a shotgun. Does that sound like a typical gentleman to you? No, no, no. What am I talking about? It's the gentleman. Guy Ritchie's

never done a series before this. This is his first series starring Theo James, the attractive man from White Lotus. And you know Guy R guy richie from uh this snatch i yeah this there's a cast of lowdown it's like those movies yeah it's if you like snatch and lock no if you like snatch and lock if you like snatch and lock no no no no if you like snatch and lock in stock snap if you like the movie snatch if you like the movie lock stock and two smoking barrels then you're

going to lose your shit over this Netflix show wait wait you think these are two separate movies yes snatch and then lock stock and two smoking I know for a fact the movie is lock stock and two smoking barrels yes okay and snatch is another film, two different films.

And they're much... Got it, got it, yeah. The Gentleman is this on the juice. I've heard great things about all of it, yeah. It follows a new cast of low-down lords

and ladies slumming it in Britain's criminal underworld. Guns out and pinkies up. Watch what happens when you try to play gangsters at their own game. Don't miss The Gentleman,

now playing only on Netflix. He is the only guy we could call. Just like, hey, we have a bar idea. Do you think it would work in Chicago? And tell him it's for truck butches. We gotta get Yaz down for the grand opening. Yeah, we gotta fly Yaz out from Iceland tell him he's on anus I don't wanna no

yo yo what up me and Nick have a bar idea I know that's kind of ambitious oh boy what are you thinking? Is there any big time novelty themed lesbian bars

in Chicago? What do you mean by novelty themed? It'd be like axe throwing bars. Yes, there are axe throwing bars. No, but it would be shot putting. Like the field event.

You need a lot of space. Yeah, it'd be huge. How long do they usually fucking throw those things? Far, isn't it? The bigger the butch, the longer the throw. It depends on the size of the butch. Did Nick say the lot, the bigger the butch, the further the push? Yeah, I wish the, the butch. Did Nick say the lot, the bigger the bush, the further the push?

Yeah. I wish I did, but yes. That's a horrible, horrible visual. Tell them the name. No, dude,

you know what though? Like summertime on, uh, the lake on one of the parks. We were thinking on a lake on a pier or something. Yeah. Irving park. No,

there's like, there's tons of park land where, uh, yeah. they do pop-ups and stuff what do you guys have a name yeah i guess we could start with a pop-up yeah it's lap and field so it's like you know how like there's track and field but then like lap means to lick and field spelled f-e-e-l like to touch if we could even do a pop-up that'd be a great yeah i would love to do that um i think i don't know if this is gonna go over well with you two guys backing it and proposing it i think you need a we have yaz duncan from gay iceland well yeah no we do we have yaz duncan from gay iceland.com like she's open to um do all the funding for us spearhead it

it sounds like a like a no like a no-brainer then okay who is open to bar to bounce uh i think we're gonna have miss trench bull the other one and grim snarl we got grim snarl on board so no-brainer then. Who is open to bounce? I think we're going to have Ms. Trenchbull and Grimmsnarl. We got Grimmsnarl on board. Alright, let's talk soon. I saw you were calling for a music help on a dozen questions. I expected the call to go this way.

Alright, well let's talk later. I think this is a good start though. Yeah, well let me know if you guys want to put together a business plan cool okay thanks dante thank you dante bye guys yeah so i guess it's going to happen so we're um shoot for late summer i guess yeah late summer we'll do a pop-up and uh we'll have a lot of uts tons of uts do uts make the onion the fake funyons as well?

I'd be damned. I feel like Trader Joe's would. Who makes oh-yums? On-yums. By Rudolphs. No, but yeah. Have you guys wise yeah wise

wise out here what do you think Kyle have you guys you haven't watched love is blind is the first episode first episode I couldn't do it it is so painful but it's I've binged it. They're so long.

I know for the sake of entertainment in the show, it worked perfectly, but there is no amount it could have failed by more. It was the most failed experiment in the world. So they fall in love without seeing each other and they have to propose in four weeks and they all fell madly in love everybody found a part just voices like they were like crying so wait a minute wait so it has like 20 guys 20 girls and all of them and not all of them but a lot and like they fell madly in love and after the they revealed each other's like faces got to see each other, nothing could have been worse.

It's almost as if that's important. The chemistry was, I've never seen less. The chemistry between, you could have picked two random people, regardless of sexual orientation, and they would all have better chemistry. If you're sleep deprived, surrounded by alcohol, in a weird setting, and have to talk to the same person every day. You're going to think you fall in love. Yeah, that's what happened. It's almost interesting. There's that one guy I like.

Matthew. Matthew. I'm enamored by Matthew. He just walked out on a chick. First episode. Yes. He's like, he reminds me of Beast from X-Men. Yeah.

Just like a big, he wears glasses and he's big. Yeah. I had to stop the first episode not for me there's one dude black chill black dude real suave not this not he's a principal 25 year old principal i he uh met his his wife his fiancee and uh uh just didn't even touch her. Like he wouldn't even, like they were in Putakana. Kenneth? He just, he would like stay five feet away from her. And she'd be like.

Was he afraid of her? I like affection. Is he a stone? And he was like. Oh, he might be a stone top. I think he might be gay. He wouldn't even get near her. And she was like, I like affection.

And he was like oh word uh i've always been told i'm too affectionate she i'm too touchy and she's like you haven't even kissed me he didn't kiss her once he didn't kiss her no and then finally she's like spilling her heart out to him like you don't even kiss me you don't even look at me you're always on your phone like i feel like there's no chemistry and he's like oh man if you feel that way then then i then i can't do this then he just they break up and he's like now give me a hug so i know there's no beef and then he just calls his homie and he picks him up and that's it oh yeah he's got yeah um i have uh two name games perfect maybe three i have a few my theme is uh strong black women okay sb dubs uh telling harry potter you got him a magical twig obviously then immediately tell him you're kidding okay telling harry potter you got him a magical twig, obviously, then immediately tell him you're kidding.

Okay, telling Harry Potter you got him a magical twig, obviously, and then immediately tell him you were kidding. Wanda Sykes. Oh, shit. Hell yeah, boy. Wanda Sykes. Sykes.

All right, this is my last one this one took forever to write okay a royal with a french tifa can I ask what a tifa is don't know okay a royal

queen latifa yeah brilliant alright what people with an accent clamor for after an episode of Anus? Monique. Monique.

They want Monique? Oh, fuck. Thank you. That was good. Yeah, thank you. You got any, Kyle? I have some... I think I have some b days from last

week uh rapper turning 34 okay questioning the value of the silent letter and lasagna G easy no he's also dead wait no no he's not sorry he's thinking of Eazy E okay go again say it again

it's YG happy birthday to YG faux hunt it happy birthday to YG alright this is give me your dumbest Deardek teams up with Lizzo for this more progressive

spinoff Robin Thicke Robin Thicke? Robin Thicke. Happy birthday, Robin Thicke, 47. I never can get a Kyle one. No. I can get yours. I can never get a Kyle one.

This one will be for you. Singer turned 30. I don't want that. I'm going to take it. This one will be for you. Singer turned 30. I'm going to take it. This is super easy. There's no... Keep doing your setup. Lola, you're the naughtiest wabbit I've ever met. Bad bunny.

Yeah. Wait, do your bugs again? Lola, you're the naughtiest wabbit I've ever... Have you ever seen Looney Tunes? Does he have a lisp? That's Daffy Duck. Lola, you're the naughtiest wabbit. Daffy Duck.

What does bug sound like? Search Looney Tunes, by the way. He says, like, wabbit. I'm pretty sure, if you scroll down, search Looney Tunes characters. The Google autofill just has a picture of a regular duck for Daffy No shit this morning I had a regular duck for Daffy Nevermind

Yeah you're confusing Daffy with bugs What does bugs sound like? Eh what's up doc That's a similar speech No Oh jeez What was it bad? Give us a hard one.

Okay. Impossibly. Female celebrity turning 42. Theo's penis had me like. Kat Von D. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is crazy. I was looking at some of the birthdays.

These are celebrity birthdays. Yeah. Happy 21st to Absorber. Who the fuck's Absorber? Why would you choose that to be your fucking... Happy 22nd to Paradised with two I's and two D's. Happy 24th to Undo's. It's like the Italian restaurant.

Undo's is a meme-obsessed star who is widely known for his Undo's account. He has gained massive popularity for his hilarious memes. Happy 26th to Sub-Zero Extabyte. Who are these people? Is this from Celeb Birthdays? Yeah.

Happy 31st, Danny Go-Go. go happy 24th to unjaded Jade How are these like I don't even know you anymore Jade Happy 13th to bad kid Paris. This is my favorite one. Happy 31st to Tucker boner It was a counter-strike youtuber Boner. It was a counter-strike YouTuber. Tucker Boner? That's not his real name. That's his real name.

No, he's fake. It goes by 2Jericho2. He was born William Tucker Boner. His name's Tucker Boner. William Tucker Boner. Will Tucker Boner. It's Dick Tucker Boner. That's incredible.

And he dated Sonya sonja red of course tucker boner yeah you're gonna go by jericho how do you not use that for your username is that his girlfriend she's hot that's sonja reed that's the second time in two weeks that's happened to you, man? Sonia Reid. That's the second time in two weeks that's happened to both of you. Yep. We were in Dune 2. Zendaya came on screen. I choked on my Coke Icy when I saw Zendaya for the first time. Audibly.

Like I was dying and coughing. He had the forehead vein trying to contain the following shock waves. Beautiful lady. Was that what caused it? No, I was just choking on it. I was just slurping my coke too much. Good on Tucker Boner. Tucker Boner.

Was IMAX immersive? Did you get high? Did, yeah. Did good. I didn't get that high. I dabbled. A light buzz. It was the IMAX, yeah.

The sound is lame, but yeah yeah the sound is lit the sound sound is lit sound was great yeah good movie i don't know if you'd like it kyle yeah i don't know probably not it's a lot like love is blind but i could see you just really getting into lore of a sci-fi yeah maybe maybe gotta get you into something i'm gonna continue love is blind but i'm only gonna watch the matthew scenes i think i can't do it it's too the cuts are weird there's like it's too high energy for me it overstimulates me i don't like how curated the rooms are i'm'm thinking of like Chelsea's dating some like bumpkin. And she always accuses him not like kissing her enough.

I did. I did kiss you three times. Chelsea's dating a bumpkin? Yeah, you'd have to see it. I'm all in on Bachelor still. Yeah, how's that going? This one girl, Daisy, she has a cochlear implant and that's all she can talk about. She like

She's the one with Yeah, she has lupus. Lyme disease. My brother has Lyme disease. Your brother does? Yeah. Damn. My brother's a field biologist so he kind of comes with the job. So you and your brother both kind of have a

disease. His is forever forever mine was beaten oh yeah uh do you guys see sydney sweeney's mirror pick mirror pick it's pretty cool pretty cool are we very cool stuff do you think she enjoys like being objectified this much? No. That's why I'm not going to do it. That's why I don't want to watch it. So watch it. The red one.

The first one 22 hours ago. Yeah. I saw that. There's two mirrors. Yeah. Married woman though. She's really cold on that marble floor. Married woman. She's married. Yeah. Married woman, though. She's going to be cold on that marble floor. Married woman.

She's married? Yeah. To who? Some guy that is very secure. Didn't she break up with him for the dude? No, dude. That was all publicity stunt. Glenn Powell, I believe, is engaged.

Oh. She's married. Okay. Yeah. Who's her husband? She doesn't post them. Doesn't post them? Jonathan Davino.

What, Reed? You're pissed? You want him to be hot? Exactly. He's not hot. He's a businessman from Chicago. Oh, let's get him for lap and field oh true yeah let's email him the face angel investor sydney sweeney would without that she would be so safe there or no would they wouldn't like her

right sydney i don't know i don't know enough about yeah we're a little bit out of our depth do you even have a lesbian's phone number no well there's there's like uh i feel like there's like you know this new movement of like sexually fluid people who might but i'm talking about like a a straight up old school tried and true lesbian. I got one. I would like to know. I think I think I have one. You have a lesbian's phone number? Like a tried and true. I don't know if I have her phone number, but I know

her. Denver is Oh yeah, that's Mecca. Yeah. Yeah. When Lyft and Uber came out, they were running that shit. Crazy. You would have a lot of. A lot of lesbians. Drivers.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. And they are responsible on the road. Bordering on road rage, but never crossing the threshold. What kind of music do they listen to? I need to learn. I need to really immerse myself in that culture. Well, at that time, it was a lot of Skrillex.

Oh, yeah. The same haircut. Yes. Dude, I watched a Jack Yu set from 2015. And it's like stepping into a different world. Oh, I listened to the 2014 Red Rocks Mothership Skrillex set the other day. And it is like being in a different. I watched it.

I think it was in Chicago at Soldier Field. But I'm talking about the people, like the culture of people and the fashion. It feels like people that don't exist. It was the rare collision of neon and V-necks. Neon, huge hats, like girls, like the hot girls were all having big hats. What the fuck? They look like Final Fantasy characters.

Yeah. Yeah, feathers. Feathers were big, like a fur vest jackie uh it's diplo diplo and skrillex skrillex had a little flower crown oh maybe we should just do a music festival no no no i want shot put bar they don't want music i want to show yeah mook what did uh what did you get into in Madison talk to me Mook

good time Francis fat shamed me as soon as we got there Thursday night I ordered Burger King you're not fat presenting though I need to lose some weight I told him I ordered burger king on

friday and then he took me clothes shopping and offered to buy me a shirt like a button down but he would only buy me a size down jesus christ now i have i have a flannel that i have to fit into uh the next time i see him and it's it's working He's like a pageant mom to you. Basically. Spending time with Francis is fun. He's the man. But it's like, yeah, a lot is going on. He and I couldn't have. I think we just have very different lives.

Oh, yeah. He's it seemed like he was the one who was overwhelmed by you. Yeah. What was what was your. Yeah, he does. Exactly. He's drama. He's a dramatizer. He was having fun. And then the next day. What was your... Yeah, he does exactly... He's a dramatizer. He was having fun.

And then the next day... What was your fun move? Like, posted up? Or were you mingling? Yeah, we were just, like, talking to college kids, which is, like, a whole new... Are you good at... I would be so bad at talking to college kids.

It was tough. But, like, you kind of just have to fuck with them a little bit. Like, in Wisconsin, it was Moms Weekend, so there were a lot of, like, underage kids at at the bars with their mom, with their moms or parents. And oh, because you can go to the bar with your parents in Wisconsin when you're like 30. Oh, shit. I forgot about that. Yeah.

So it was just we were mingling with college kids and like they just say funny shit because they're dumb. Yeah. But it was a good time. It was a good time. He wingman for me on Friday. Great. Did you end up in a sorority house? Wingman, was he successful at all? He was good. I wasn't successful, but he just-

Do you get any phone numbers? A couple of phone numbers, a couple of Queens Saturday night. Went out with a sorority. It was just me, Francis's friend, and eight blonde girls. Wait, really? You went out with a whole sorority. It was just me, Francis's friend, and like eight blonde girls. Wait, really? You went out with a whole sorority or like a large portion of one? Yeah, shout out at Wisconsin. Oh, no.

No, no. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not endorsing Kaio. I'll bleep that. But yeah. Did you get any snaps? Is that how it works?

Yeah. Did you get a Snapchat or something? No. I think that's how they operate, though. Still. Do you think we're older than any college parents? Yeah. Well, no.

No. No. It's impossible. I think we might be older than at least a few. That's not possible. We'd have to have a kid at 14. Yeah, that's a thing. 14?

Remember, a local middle school had a bunch of parents i'm gonna get called out yeah i'd use the calculator for fucking 31 minus 17 okay yeah we are no yeah probably like one or two that's impressive but i would also say if a parent has you at 14 chances are that kid's not going to college. No, that's not a college kid. That's a trade school child. That's a, that's a trade school kid.

That's a friend at a certain point at a certain age. Yeah. Yeah. But just like recognizing when a kid's a trade school kid, young would be so funny to like, like Rudy, if you had a kid, I would get him like a little onesie it says like future it'd be like that it's like the it's like that scene in interstellar oh yeah where he's like

he's good in school but since we live in this dystopian future he's gonna be a farmer yeah right at 14 future union member yeah future we might get some shit for this that might be like a thing like yeah proud union oh no that's a better job than going to school i mean none of us are using our degree none dude if you're like a high level plumber you clear money electricians yeah good god yeah and you have to be an apprentice for like longer than college i'm envious and you could fucking die yeah i'm on their side when I say it's... Not easy. It's brutal work.

I don't know why. You don't want to do labor. You don't want to do labor for a salary. I don't think... And nobody wants to do that. I bet you it feels good. No, I bet you it feels horrible. I bet you it feels rewarding.

I don't think. Physically, at least, it can... Being able to fix shit by yourself. That is cool. Me having to call another man to fix my dryer. And he walked in and all my clothes were on the floor. I don't know. I wouldn't want to be able to fix a dry.

I would too. That's almost feminine. Fixing a dryer is feminine. Like the buttons to push to fix a dryer. What do you do? The igniter was out. Oh, yeah. I don't even know what that means. Yeah.

And being able to just fix an igniter. I know it would be. I don't even know what that means. Yeah. And being able to just fix an igniter. I know. Yeah. I have none of those skills. My bloodline is done for when it comes to it. I won't buy a home. No, I won't buy a house. Yeah, you ever.

Yeah, you will. Because you don't want to or because the upkeep. So what will you buy an apartment like a penthouse not a penthouse but an apartment jeez book what do you really think highly of us i don't know i don't know not i don't want a yard i do i want to have a big green egg and be able to cook you boys breakfast sandwiches before a tailgate that's my goal oh yeah like a trigger yeah yeah nice that'd be cool that'd be tight i like apartments i don't i do i'm ready to be done really yeah you want a little yard yeah a little fence yeah and a cavapoo some like shitty like i do like how like how when you get a place... It's a Cavapoo. It's a King Cavalier and a Poodle.

Mini Poodle. Oh, my God. Hi. Oh, that's a Golden Doodle. No, that's a Cavapoo, baby boy. No. Hi there. Reached out to a breeder.

This is cute. Mm-hmm. You're a dog guy, huh? You're dead set on a Cavapoo. Yeah, I am. They're smart and don't shed. And they're kind of a little lazy. So don't have to do the big long walks.

What are you going to name it? Um, I think I want a girl. Never had a girl dog, so I don't know. Girl dog names are tough. Stone Butch. Stone Butch. Butch is my lesbian dog Butch.

I'm going to ask the breeder for a lesbian dog. Yeah. Animals. Animals can be gay. Yeah. A lot of birds are gay. A lot of birds are gay. Why?

Fuck if I know. But a lot of my brother told me that a lot of birds are gay. I'm obsessed with birds. Sheep, cattle, house. I was thinking, I had the top. Wait, what's that last animal? Cats, dogs, and budgerigars? That sounds like a posh thing.

Sheep, cattle, horses. A gang of my faves. Oh, a budgie. I love, birds are the best. Birds are so smart. I was seriously considering a pet bird i think it may be annoying definitely oh my god they're stimulating i we had a parrot for a few years yeah we talked about that it's famous now on tiktok yeah oh yeah you should

kick it with my brother really i mean he's an expert in birds oh i would rather just like dm him okay all right i don't need to like be physically present. Got it. Yeah. Tell him I love birds. Yeah. That would be embarrassing. Right.

Yeah. Anything else, boys? Housekeeping? I have one DM. Shopping Network's coming, by the way. It's coming. Yeah. I had one DM.

Send me DMs if you guys are looking for stuff for us to look at on the podcast. Oh, yeah. This guy just said, and these are the DMs that I love, a guy who reluctantly put stuff in his butt during a prison cell inspection. Shy LaBouf. That's good. That's good. Yeah, send those.

Those are really fun. People have been sending me them, and they've been good. I've been solving people. Yeah. send those. Those are really fun. People have been sending me them, and they've been good. I've been solving people's. I've been stumped by people's. The only other housekeeping I have is I know I'm not great on the computer over here. Oh, I'm fucking with you. Stop telling me to kill myself in my DMs. Oh, yeah, stop that.

Stop doing that. It's fun, okay? Even when I fuck up, it makes it fun. It's fun, so fuck off oh i'm actually not mad at mook for doing that it's actually it's good yeah i have people tell him not to die i have people like kill yourself nick and kb can't stand you shut the fuck up i guess yeah yeah with you all right there we go yeah maybe believe, yeah. No, I feel that. I feel it.

Yeah, don't tell Mook to die. Actually, everybody DM Mook and tell him to live. Yeah, that's actually a way worse punishment. I'm trying to find somebody remastered a WFB song. What do you mean remastered it? Like made it better? I have no idea. Make it sound crispier crisp yeah i made it

crispier audio crunchier even yeah you have been listening to jack you that's a that's a term that is a term from that era this baseline is crunchy the descriptors they have for whomps back in the day was that was a funny time to be alive telling you uh jack you 2015 spring awakening get high watch that and i'm like what the fuck yeah what do they call them oh what yeah wooks wooks yeah do you guys know that account i followed uh it was like just pokemon and random sports paraphernalia they blocked me no yes don't fuck with us yeah jay's two cannon blocked me that's probably your fault what did i what did i say it's probably just a block by association

you stay you always are clowning on them on pokemon oh yeah no i messaged him once i ratioed him i asked him to do a pokemon and a Cookie Monster hat and blocked me. What do you mean you ratioed him? I just copy and pasted the link to you. Hopefully this is good. I haven't listened yet because I'm so embarrassed from this rap shit. This rap shit. Dude, I can't believe we're about to have a bar

it's exciting well I'll make the logo do we want it to be called lap and field yeah I think so yeah those are knee jerk gut reaction fuck here we go yeah

maybe you just sent a virus uh oh yeah that's what you do I'm really afraid 58 you haven't listened to this alright asshole did you just make it louder

did you just make it louder? Did he just make it louder? It is so incomprehensibly loud. Okay, ready? Yeah. It's just clearer. All right. Yeah, nah.

All right, enough. Sounds better. Yeah. This was the worst thing that's ever happened to me. Yeah. The drums sound much better. I had to have a... Yeah. My girlfriend was like,

hey, what's this post? And I was just like, that's just a high school rap group. Don't listen. And she didn't. She didn't listen? No, she listened. She didn't listen to the rap group.

She listened to you. Yeah. I don't believe that she listened yes how do you not gonna listen i would know if she listened because it'd be stuck in her head leave it to me i have hits and a missus that was sick of me to say you just got misses and you get hit on by men

because they think you're gay that is some shit you'd say you probably have said that I have damn yeah some old shit I would say. Like eighth grade. Eighth grade shit. All right. Anything else?

No. If you're in the Chicago area, be on lookout for the butch lesbian shot put bar. Mook will be celebrity bartender. They'll do body shots off of you. Let's go. Yeah.

Doing body shots off. Or those big women will probably use you as a shot ski. No, they're probably. Yeah. Mook will be the human shot ski.

Oh, shit. Mook, will you do it yeah all right god bless