A New Untold Story - Lines feat. Noel Miller - A New Untold Story: Ep. 453

Episode Date: June 19, 2025

Noel Miller joins the show to talk about lines. Ads: Gametime - Download the Gametime app today and use code UNTOLD for $20 off your first purchase Factor - Get started at https://factormeals.com/kb50off and use code kb50off to get 50 percent off plus FREE shipping on your first box Kraken - Go to https://kraken.com/barstool to learn moreYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, a new untold story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad free on Amazon Music. I'm a fresh baked untold story. I'm a new untold story. It's a fresh baked untold story. I'm a new untold story. You only become a comic because you want attention and you're lazy. Yeah, yeah Right Mook. Yes Which is ironic because it's like If you got pussy once in high school, you wouldn't you would not be a comic, right?

Yeah, I didn't get pussy in high school. I didn't get pussy freshman sophomore year of college and I was like I need a mic Yeah Why won't these girls if I'm the only thing women can look at for 20 minutes There's a chance. We every comic does it for pussy Every man does every skilled thing for pussy. Yeah, right? I got in a big argument my mom one time about how I was I got in a big argument my mom one time about how I was Saying that like no everything anyone has ever done can be traced back to like wanting to mate

It's either that or it's for land or pussy. She was not having it It's for land or pussy or to get respect from other men To get pussy to get pussy in the end you can always trace it back and also why do you want land to fuck pussy? Oh, fuck get pussy in the end, you can always trace it and also why do you want land to fuck pussy on to fuck? Cultivate and yes, I need to go to the new world to get land to fuck new pussy Oh, look at the whole point of land to fuck not to like run free on guys were like oh, I'm gonna get this valley I need a safe place to fuck this pussy Valley it every like Dudes don't actually like surfing, but here's the crazy Dude no way, but here's why every video game is better than surfing yeah, but they're doing

Video games don't get you pussy and but then it used to not be true unless you're a student go back Or like men get pussy so other men will respect them. Oh Yeah, really love coming Back, like men get pussy so other men will respect them. Oh yeah. Unless you just really love cumming. Yeah, I guess you're right. So wait, do men want respect from other men or pussy more? That's the chicken and the egg. Oh my God, do men get pussy for other men?

I think so. So is getting pussy gay? Like why do people publicize their lays? Like pussy gay? Why do people publicize their lays? Why do you publicize your lays? Other dudes think you're the man. I mean, hence the term trophy wife. Oh my god, yeah. Look at this, don't you love this?

But what do you do with a trophy? Trophies are boring. Other dudes respect it. Other dudes respect it. And then it all circles back to us wanting other dudes To respect us yes, I Would rather have a dude say I'm the man than get head from a chick. That's where we differ No way, man. That was if somebody was like do terrain He's them he uses my last name terrain, and I don't hear it. I'm not around

Do you know like somebody else dude terrain? He's the fucking man Oh T. Oh that was oh my god And then the other dudes like for yes, I've been saying that. And then they dap up. Better than head. So they're black guys all of a sudden. Oh my god, yes, they always have been. Not all of a sudden. Dude, if a black dude calling me their N-word would be better than a threesome with two twins.

That are women. I think. Which, yeah, which. Yes, even if it's like. Yeah, yeah, thank you. You are you are broken. What do you mean? You're pussy crazed. You know, our boy crazy.

I'm the real I'm the real. I officially boy. I want the Leo High School Choir to just like the leo high school choir It's one of the best in the world in South Side, Chicago, okay? They actually covered. Where is the love by black eyed peas? Okay, yeah, I love the idea of conquering land to be like I can fit a hundred wenches That's what it is it really is across this plot mm-hmm. Yeah It all comes back to fertility the land or the woman yeah, right really is across this plot. Yeah.

It all comes back to fertility, the land or the woman. Yeah, right. Yeah, I mean, men crave fertility. Yeah, and it's like no different than like if you watch a nature documentary and a bird does a little dance. Yeah, that's the same like an oxen. The only reason the peacocks evolved to have those feathers is for pussy. Right. It's crops and vagina It's that's all it is all it is yeah

It is funny like how it changes though because like when you were peasant it was like I need barley Yeah, I need barley dudes loved barley back then and They don't dudes aren't aren't craving barley like not used to even request it dude. Yeah Dudes aren't aren't craving barley like they used to. Not even request it. Yeah, I wish. Cause like potato, it was potato and barley. What is barley? What is barley?

I don't even know what it is. I remember barley, it's in soups. Barley soup, but then like, oh, I like the potato in it. Yeah. I wish that, I just wish that there was some way to like blend timelines where there'd be like the optimization TikTok guys that were like, if you're not planning barley now,

you're 20 years behind. You're 20 years behind. You need to shift all of your assets to barley. Dude, I wanna, that'll be a funny bit. This is a dude that's like craving barley, trying to get his boys to go out for barley. So like, dude, there's a pretty good barley spot around the corner.

We've got to hit that up. It's getting rave reviews. They have a pretty good barley spot around the corner. We've got to get that up. It's getting rave reviews They have really fucking good barley Barley microwave and barley at the office a new hit barley spot It's a Japanese barley collaboration between professional skateboarder Neen Williams and Michelin star chef Philip Franklin Lee. Do you want to reference Neen Williams? That is such a reference. It's a new barley spot.

Oh, God. And they do it differently than you've ever had. Like, forget what you know about barley. Forget what you know, yeah. They flip it on its head. Who did you just name? If you want. Pro skateboarder Neen Williams.

You can get the barley or you can make the barley beast mode and they'll add sliced pickles, slightly tamed jalapenos, special sauce and seasoning. Are you talking about the new burger burger place? You're obsessed. What's it called? It's called Not a Damn Chance Burger. And you can get the fries beast mode. And it's so fucking good.

Do you do it? And I do. I. That looks like a good burger. Not really. It's phenomenal. That's gotta be a smash. Neen Williams and Michelin Star Chef. Wait, his last name's Franklin.

Oh, okay. Yeah, Frank Landley. Frank Landley. Why is the L? I don't know. I'm cool with them doing that, but I'd rather have a Michelin-starred chef collaborate with another Michelin-starred chef.

Is that a skateboarder? He just added beasts to the fry. That was his collaboration. He had the beast mode. Neen Williams is the most collision of things I've ever seen in a human being. I don't even know what Neen. So he's like a... First of all, Neen. I don't even know what mean. So he's like, first of all, mean. Yes.

Let's process mean. Meanest heel flip in the game. OK. Known as that. Secondly, dreadlocks. Thirdly, one of those races where you can't place at all what he is. And then became like a fitness influencer.

And then he would also give recipes while skateboarding. And then workout guy. Oh, oh, hell yeah. That's that. That of course is right. He can be either Texan or a Nepalese Sherpa. Yes. It's anywhere's glasses and he is. OK, blonde mustache, deep ass dimples. Yeah, it's not a damn chance burger. Great. But I don't like don't advertise like skateboarder

food creation. Skateboarders don't skateboarders have the diets of Roombas. They just eat fucking crumbs and like hoodie drawstring. Skateboarders are the last person I want, like the making manufacturing my coming up with my food products. Skateboarders do not eat. Skateboarders eat slushies. You're right. Skateboarders picket pieces of chips.

You know, you would hang out at the skate park. I would, yeah, they don't eat. They do not eat. Their dinner is like a shitty energy drink in a bag of salt and pepper. Yeah. Oh yeah. Skateboard guys and car show guys like guys are the same.

Like they customize their car. They're like, I brought my lunch with me and it's an airhead. It's like I've like went on. Dude, yeah, they love mystery airheads. You ever hang out with them, you drive away and then it's hours pass and no one even suggests lunch. It's just an energy. They don't get hungry. After doing loads of cardio, it's a lot of work. Oh yeah, you're sweating and just, they don't eat.

They don't drink water. They don't drink water at all. No, God no. They're deteriorating men. Mean. Mean, willy willy and a DC burger. If it's going to be an acronym, make it something you can say. Yeah, fanatically.

I like that. It all goes back to land as well. Franklin, it's all about land and a DC burger. I mean, that sounds like it's a government contracted burger joint in the website. Looks like that, too. It looks like they were forced to make this. It's a. How much is the burger? It's too much. I remember that much Yeah, I'd rather have an NADU burger. What an ADU?

Not a day unsucked That's what his last name stands for Jeff Nadeau Jizz every day for free not a day on suck Yeah, that's how he chose his name that's not his actual name, that's the Jeff Nadeau burger His every day for free not a day on sucked That's nice. Mafia aficionado Jeff Nadu collaborates with pornographic starred chef.

Oh, my Michelin porn star chef. I wouldn't be shocked if he got sucked every day. I'd be disappointed if he didn star chef. I wouldn't be shocked if he got sucked every day. I'd be disappointed if he didn't actually. I know he, yeah. I think he does. Yeah.

I think he does. Probably. For free. Yeah. For free. Yeah. Jizz everyday for free. Not a day I sucked.

It's an easy way to remember his name if you forget. If you forget Jeff Nadu's name. It's just an acronym That whole thing sounds like something a rapper would say like in the lead-up to starting their verse Yeah, yeah, she's every day on Every day for free. She's every day for free never a day on sucked dude. I need never like never a day on That implies ever the never implies yeah and it implies that you're like in a fight not a day on suck implies up until now never up until now and then forever yeah dude I needed what would Jesus do bracelet, but it just says Jeff Nadu with the tiniest little periods in between. I need the periods.

So. Uh-huh. My, dude, my new credo is gonna be Jeff Nadu. That's it. That's words to live by. What would they do do? No, it's just Jeff Nadu. That's the saying, that's the words I live by.

Uh-huh. Fuck yeah, he's gonna love that. Oh yeah. Yeah. He is gonna love that Yeah, he's gonna love that It's gonna. It's gonna beat that he pays for it allegations. Yes for free for free. It's it covers every single base If you if you if he wakes up and goes to sleep in that span He is getting sucked and not a penny out of his pocket mm-hmm nothing spent Not even time words

No, he's not even so no time of day. No. He's still working mm-hmm Fuck yeah, yes, every that's not those are words everybody can try to get behind Yeah, it's a good name for the pod we rebrand it Jeff Nadeau That's fucking awesome, how's our nesta? He's good, he's good I had to pick up some shit off the ground and put it in a test tube with like a spork device that the vet gave me and walk it to the vet. When you start doing I bombed, I had a joke bomb at the vets because they handed me the tube and I was like, if I lose this,

can I just bare handed in? They were just like, no, no, you can't. Animal people don't play like that. That's that's don't play. Don. That's that's don't play. Don't play. That's don't play. The acoustics at Vets is crazy. My very office was smaller than this table. And so I was just in the way when she was giving

the dog shots, I'd hold the cheese whiz to distract the dogs. Yeah, you're working. Is she put me on? Yeah. You said your dog is good, but you're doing like science equipment with its feces. Yeah. Yeah, we kind of breezed over that.

Are you doing that? You just have to. They asked for his feces. OK, they gave me like the cap had a spork attached to it. The cutest, tiniest little spork. I had to poke through the turd and put it into the vial. Did you do it in front of him? No, no, I let him leave. I wanted him to.

Well, fine. Well, we're about to go back in time with Noel Miller. Yeah. And discuss your dog, which at that time was worse than now. He had a bad morning this morning and he had a bad night last night. And I was preceded by a pretty bad evening. But other than that but other than that Now it's currently pretty good. It's currently really really good He hates the air conditioner and he freaks out when the AC is on it was 90 yesterday. He's European

He's not like making you shut it turn it down is he I've turned it off Dude he freaks the fuck out and he'll just bark on every vent and then he pissed in one of the vents That was shooting out the air, so I was just like you know what you win. It's hot in the house. Oh My god, you can't concede that And then I have a stainless steel fridge, and I caught my nude reflection in it cuz it was so hot in the house That's the worst a person can look. Like in the reflection of a fridge. Yeah, because it's just like kind of like, I look like the science alien. Yeah, like found footage.

Yeah. Oh, worse than the tub. The tub isn't bad. The tub is bad. Tub is really bad. The tub is bad because like I have such a little heft that the smallest movement of the water in the tub will have that thing sway.

Yeah, it looks like something about the tub. It's like a piece of a jellyfish. I haven't taken a non-oatmeal bath due to poison ivy in two decades. Is that the remedy? A non-oatmeal. You buy the oatmeal packets for poison ivy? Why would you take an oatmeal bath?

Because I have poison ivy. You for poison ivy. Why would you take an oatmeal bath because I have poison ivy You have poison ivy. No, I when I take what I Don't know you said you haven't Non oatmeal bath. Yeah, have you taken like a cream of wheat bath? No, I'm taking a cream of wheat I don't really remember it. Yeah, I feel like I was the only kid on cream of wheat your Your pantry was weak. My pantry was weak. Like you and your sister would march down the neighborhood streets celebrating

when you guys got Nilla wafers. We never got Nilla wafers. Honey made graham crackers. That's what it was. It was an occasion. Yeah, you wouldn't even get your grams teddied. Yours were straight up rectangle. It was just Snyder of Berlin pretzels

Dry oh wait, and they're the big ones they were the size of soft pretzels, but hard pretzels though those were horrible You could use those to prevent home invasion No, oh my god that yeah, that was like in the bower household that was like birthday cake. That was a morning surprise. You had a 6.30 PM bedtime and then your cream of wheat. Did you get at least the flavors? Did they throw blueberries in or just wheat?

Hey, it turned me into a hungry adult. Yeah, that's true. It made me appreciate things more because other kids had the fat like Disgusting snacks were so normalized in pantries back when we were kids oatmeal cream pies zebra cake Loaded chewy bars. Yeah, do you remember the chips munchos? It had a burgundy chrome bag Yes, I think so my boy Logan Seidler They had munchos breakfast lunch and dinner. There was like they use munchos as a side for their dinners Oh, I have seen those. I hate munchos. I hate munchos. Me too Yeah, but like it like kids would just have like

Dozens of pastries boxed pastries, dude dude I would have like four to five zebra cakes a day and then top it off with a you. Yeah I it was cosmic brownies. I didn't like the cosmic brownie. I liked I liked it from a tactile perspective I like pushing this the the fucking seeds in the little seeds were too hard when you ate them You were chewy dip guy. You remember this shit Advertised this as a granola bar. This is that's a candy bar that's a candy bar dessert mm-hmm yeah lucky charms yeah Kyle was just eating barley Kyle had bar like yeah yeah yeah you would have to go in you would have to go in like it was like a summertime day and you'd have to go in at noon

to take a bath before dinner, before your barley. You would eat the ingredients of a granola bar. And you and your sister would gather around the radio and listen to your favorite shows. I wish, yeah. Kim is war of the worlds. Rugrats was during my bedtime, so I would The baby show was I would listen to it on the stairwell

Do those so embarrassing when you bring in your lunches Brown bag lunch and just bag of barley you threw it over your shoulder barley wrapped in tin foil I would try to you wrote Kai on your bag. We knew that was your life Dude I remember you were trying to trade barley for gogurt. I was trying to trade barley for yogurt lids. And you were getting shut down immediately. I wanted just a taste of tricks. Yeah, no. The Orlando Magic wouldn't have taken that trade.

No, I wanted my barley. You couldn't unload the barley. I could not, dude. There is no trade economy for the barley. Yeah, zero value. Who would have been so popular back, back in the day? Oh my God. Oh yeah.

Just old timey school lunches. When was barley hot? I'm gonna, 1940s? Earlier, Moses? BC, bro. I don't know, decades. Dude, I think earlier. I think like, probably like the beginnings of the Americas.

Yeah, probably the 1600s. Oh, yes. 16th century. Now, you would have been so popular in school. Yeah. Oh, come on. Give us some barley. The little Greek boy in his toga.

Just let me lick the stock. What would you try? boy in his toga just let me lick the stock what would you try to think of older foods there's nothing oh man yeah what were popular foods or they eaten back then seeds oh they had like poor they were well yeah unseasoned yeah hunks raw I don't know what they were just like a boiled goose beak Dude a boiled goose would probably taste so fucking bad be so slimy definitely taste like it sounds yeah It sounds like a honk. Yeah, it tastes like and that was reserved for like Holidays, it's like fuck. Yeah, this was the break from barley. It's time for boiled goose They'd fight over the neck

Come on you got it last year I Have never been a big bird guy outside of the chicken. Yeah, I can't duck. I think is bad I don't like this Kyle off. That's your favorite bird now, I've had great duck, but the display like the you know It's a lopsided game bad duck is the worst bad ducks the worst bad duck is the worst great duck is phenomenal Duck eggs are truck getting popular really yeah, they're like so chicken you're gonna get a duck egg some good quail eggs You're quail eggs are teensy tiny tiny. I'll throw back a Cornish game, Hen. No, you won't. Yes, I will.

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excluding Washington, New York, and Maine through Payward interactive ink cracking Alright now we're gonna get into Noah Miller awesome interview cool guy chill with us for longer than he was past his uh He had a hard out he stayed cool guy and Yes, thanks to him go see him on tour go see him on tour a new untold story episode what? episode 453 not an area code sorry We are here with no Noel Miller. What's up gang? Thank you for doing this

No, thanks for having me guys. How many times do people hit you with Mr. Skinny penis? Often. Yeah. Yeah, I was thinking about I was trying to like break down what what that means today Yeah, where do you start? Well, the thing is you can't have a skinny penis if it's not long Mmm, that is true. That's now you could you got a micro. Yeah, I got But skinny wouldn't be the first identifier Right. Yeah, I guess it's just at that point. It's just small. Mm-hmm. Yeah No, that's always stuck with me because I was like you were saying it's your boy. Yeah, and it's long it could be Yeah, I was peeing you were saying it's your boy. And it's long. It could be.

Yeah. I was peeing in the urinal today and I never liked looking at my penis. Yeah. And I saw the shadow of my penis in the urinal and I was having a really good shadow day and I took a picture of it. You about to shadow?

I took a picture of it and then I realized it was my belt undone. It was my belt undone that was casting the shadow Oh my god, fuck yes, that's a silhouette Yes, and I and it's like people walked in as I was like taking a picture cuz I was still pissing But that's what I thought I was like, all right, not bad. Yeah, but it was the belt You thought your belt was und you know I never wear a belt and So I did today because these pants are big

That's why I was wearing belt post that on your snapchat story. Just be like yeah Like this is my favorite scent of urinal cake Yeah, but that's the ah But it was really disappointing cuz then I wiggled my dick and the dick shadow didn't move. And that's how I found out. That's awesome. Thanks man. Yeah. I just, sorry.

I'm just thinking about you being like, it's hanging good. But like, having a good dick shape. And then like, you're like, you're like, don't fall, don't fall. And I didn't even wait until I was done pissing. I was like, I need to capture this right now You had to feel that that wasn't what it was visually I think I'm the more I thought about it, but I just wanted to believe for a second. Yeah, it was placebo effect Yeah, but I blame you dude. No, do you imagine that like it casting a big shadow would feel really good. Yeah Really good. Yeah, it does my dick doing anything bigly would feel good. Yeah. Yeah, it's like you know

I mean, it's never been like I've never been like whoa you're doing things that I didn't expect it She's never it's just yeah, mine's never surprised me never caught me off guard You ever do the iPhone trick What's the iPhone trick where you're like you Google how many inches an iPhone is and then you get curious and then you press it Against your no no I'll bail you out Connor. Don't worry I've seen the um the toilet paper roll trick And if you touch every side of the roll and emerge from the end, then you're doing all right. I know

I know I was like the thing that makes the bell make a sound. There was so much, it was horrible. It was a nightmare. I was like jamming an iPhone into my crotch. Like, I need extra. RFK would be very mad at you for doing that. Yeah, the 5G right on the nuts.

You're in big trouble with RFK for doing that. If you like take off your pants in front of a chick and you can see like the charging port hole like indent above your pants in front of a chick and you can see like the charging port hole like indent above your dick for a permanent charging port hole So she looks at it she's like you have a lightning phone He did something in three seconds that it's taken us a year, and I've never noticed I don't know if you guys have ever noticed what he was walking up the steps of Colton our third camera

And he was like dude you have mr.. Beast's face. Have you ever looked at Colton's face? He has beast face Beast thumbnail face It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot.

It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot.

It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot.

It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. Is issuing the prizes. Have you ever tried to reach out to Jim? He might have some fun with you. Yeah, I DM'd him a few times.

You have. DM'd him, yeah. It never answered? No. Damn. I wonder if we could recruit just a small army of the Jimbo look-alikes. You know what I mean?

I love that we've gone from Beast to Jimmy to Jimbo. Sorry. James Beast. Have you ever linked up with Mr. Beast? Oh yeah. St. James? You have like the St. James? Little St. James. I bought an island and you're never going to guess what the name is. He did buy an island. He's doing saintly things and he did buy an island and you're never gonna guess what the name oh, yeah He did buy he did dude

He's doing saintly things and he did buy an island and his name is James. Yeah, St. James Yeah, I've done a I've done a part of so with st. James you have yeah, was he intimidating? Nah, I mean, I think the funnier part of it was He he came on the show because I did this whole bit about like he like evil Mr. Beast which ended up People ended up kind of like trying to frame him that way But he saw it and he thought it was funny as he came on the show and then as a bit I go We had a Gucci suit prepared for him And I say just throw this on and like kind of lean into it and at first everyone was like no and then he goes

Yeah, no, let's do it So he throws it on and they just sort of jokingly is like fuck four people or so And then it got like clipped up and it went crazy and then like he was like You know I think you feel like guilty or like you reach out to him. No. I just he told me that I just said lol No, I just he told me that I just said lol I'm not trying to be a cool guy or anything So mr. Beast message you he's like dude people yeah, he was like laughing about okay I think they're actually mad at me, and I laughed I go that's funny It's undeniably very funny yeah Yeah, I met Jimbo once st. James. Dude. That's that's really bad

That's really bad on us that like our first question you was like have you met mr. Beast? No, it's fine. Okay. Yeah, that's why I wouldn't judge you for that. I was curious. Yeah, it's I think He's that rel. I don't know. Do you think he is? He feels past the YouTube and the algorithm Yeah, I think he feels like he understands it. But he has other does he have other emotions? Oh, that I mean, I think that's a tough one to crack with with, you know, he's so good at. Being who he is. It's like, I don't know if he goes home.

And then it gave what I'm saying. That's really high praise. Yeah. Like he goes home and then the accent comes in and he's like another day With the stupid people Yeah, that was the clip yeah, what did he say? Oh fuck for people is that what he said? Yeah, you have it up Looks like he's about to say it They're just breaking it down He's an evil person

But they were describing like, is this guy breaking it down? Maybe, I don't know It's just funny, he's like, he's sitting in a chair We saw Nice breakdown Guys, 450 some episodes, that's crazy We started at 210 Well alright Yeah Yeah a little marketing

gimmick nice. Yeah, but like it gets it gets that still it's 200 episodes. That's a lot. I guess so. Yeah Yeah, I don't know how you all know each other. Oh, okay Kyle and I are from the same small town in West Virginia. Oh, which one wheeling West Virginia? I've never Bethlehem outside of it. Got it. I'm doing I'm doing West V and The hell am I going Charleston? Oh? What's the other big city Morgantown? Huntington Charles Town Parkersburg he's going in order of population

That Clarksburg it might be I'll check right now, but okay, so you guys grew up in the same town Yeah, didn't really know each other Yeah So you guys grew up in the same town? Yeah didn't really know each other Yeah growing up and then we were both on like Twitter and stuff and that's how we linked up and started working here got it Yeah, he was a year before me. Okay. Yeah, and then Rudy's a hockey player like sandwiches and yeah He's just like he's a guy he eats sandwiches And I started working here when I graduated and then they just asked me to join the show. He's like the cool pants guy, the crew too. Okay.

Yep, these are convertible. Are they? Mm-hmm. Nice. Just in case. Dig it. Mm-hmm. Yeah, nice.

And then Mooc, Mooc just kind of appeared. I bumped into Mooc, we know each other through Sass. Yeah. Got it. Yeah. Harry Settle. Opened for Harry Settle. Sorry, sorry, Sass. Sorry, sorry, Sass. For a couple years and then worked my way into the An. Yeah. Got it. Yeah. Harry Settle. Opened for Harry Settle for a couple of years, and then worked my way into the anus crew.

Very cool. Yeah. There we go. Nice. All right. Now I'm caught up. Yeah, it wasn't like nothing magical. I just didn't know if there was an epic story.

Oh yeah, there's Rudy texting yesterday. You stood at the office, just dipped. What's good? No worries. I left a tuna sandwich in the room. That's the worst sandwich to leave. Sometimes you forget your sandwich. It happens. That's the worst sandwich to leave your sandwich. It has a worse sandwich to leave.

It is. That's why I was so worried. Did somebody take care of it? Yes. Yes. I got some to take care of it. Yeah. Oh, man. You see M.G.K. Stopped eating. Just stopped. He was like, yeah, I don't really eat anymore.

I drink water a bunch. He quit. He's I didn't know you could do that. He just doesn't eat anymore Yeah, like celery juice sometimes, but yeah, maybe once a week is Colson still with Megan Now I think he's withdrawling. Yeah, he's oh no. He's already super skinny. He's gonna disappear if he doesn't eat He's just gonna be ink. He was so confident about it. He's like, yeah, stop. You were watching this Aiden Ross interview? Yeah. I actually.

You didn't see his live? No, I missed it. I missed a lot, dude. Weird, dude. So aura is a synonym for sexy. Glowrilla. That it's kind of like a loophole to call a man sexy. Yes, that's exactly what it is.

Yeah. I think it's just, yeah, it's like guys. It's a way for guys to be like, you're really hot. I look up to you and I wanna look like you without being gay. He has aura Yeah, they're needed to be a word for that which is almost gay or to say I sense your energy Than just complimenting somebody's attire or face Yeah, the avoidance of appearing gay and being so petrified to be called gay. Dude, your energy is fucking contagious. Yeah, yeah.

Oh my fucking, dude. I'd do anything to be around. Gang, we felt you when you came in the room, I swear. Yeah, that's what they're all. Dude, I felt you from a ways away. Yeah, scrolls away, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, dude. Felt you, dude.

Dude, I felt you before I even grabbed it off the charger. That was believable. That, low key, you're why my phone is vibrating Swear now, but like Duke has enough for it to where he has or a compilations And I was like do you think if we search your name with aura like would you have a compilation now? You don't think so I think I would I don't think there's a no you have fan cams Yeah, but that's like back in the day. I don't think they make those anymore Yeah, I'd like to have one

You would like to have a fan cam? Be nice. I said my dream would to be on the white boy of the year filter on tik-tok above the head That would be the oh my god. I'd rather have that over an Olympic medal. Good. God. Yeah Good God. Yeah, I would sure yeah, I would trade everything to be on that filter. One billion percent. I don't have enough aura. We don't. We gotta start farming.

Is that, what? That's what they do. Aura farming. You aura farm? Yeah. So is that like intentionally putting yourself? I think that's, I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe it's like you're growing it.

Yeah, you like do things on camera. Okay. You set up situations. To look like you have aura. But is a lot of this boost based in anime? Is that what it said at the top? No, you can't trust Google, man. Doing random acts for the sake of gaining aura. Doing random acts for the sake of gaining aura.

So doing cool stuff. You know like when, maybe like when a clip would be like how Duke was eating the grapes I didn't see Duke eating the grapes, and he like makes it look cool was he like Yeah, or that's a war a farmer yeah, yeah Duke so nonchalant around India love yeah, oh well yeah DDG is too Dude I uh I have Kai Sinatz notifications on and I have a picture of myself sitting on the couch and it's like I just looked dumb and I'm going to respond and just be like next

year I promise you I'm at Streamer U. I guarantee you Kai. Next year I'll be just turning 34. I'm ready. I'm ready for it. Put me in high I Need it bad. Oh, yeah, but he doesn't tweet very much No, he's too popping man. He's way too. Jamie Fox knew who he was You didn't know who while a was I know that's tough. That's that's or a farming. Yeah, really? Yes, him not knowing who while a was yeah, I think you think you earnestly didn't actually know yeah

That would be categorized as or a farm. That's an aura farm like hard, hard tilling the land right there. Yes. Yeah. That's about like 10 plots worth of. Damn. Yeah. In a in an instant and a nice, a nice crop. He was great. Oh, my God. Actually, he doubled up when he got in the car and he said, oh, the chat knows and Wally. Oh, growing. Oh my God. And actually he doubled up when he got in the car

and he said, oh, the chat knows him, Wally? Oh no, he said that? I called him Wally. Wally. Dude, next year at Streamer U, I'll be sure to say something. We're in Wale class. Oh yeah. Kyle, would you go with me?

To Streamer U? Yeah. It's an Akron, that was our rival. Streamer U is your rival? Streamerer you? Yeah. It's an Akron that was our rival. Streamer you was your rival. Streamer you was our rival in college. I like that idea dude. Play for the wagon wheel. Yeah. Is that what it was? Other trophy? Nice. very nice, so you wouldn't go cuz just be based off merit. I couldn't yeah How's that going? It's over. Oh, it's over. Yeah, what came of it the guys just Duke snuck a

Norwegian chick into his room got caught Classic big trouble. I don't really know it was just a trillion were there classes Big trouble. I don't really know. It was just a trillion. Were there classes? Yeah, I don't know what it was. It was like I don't know. I think like three streamers like actually took it seriously. Like they tried to to like pass yet to like teach people. OK, it's not like actual lectures.

Yeah, there were lectures, which I thought was funny. And then was everybody just live at the same time? Yeah, I think the servers will never recover. It was hundreds of live streams concurrently happening and people walking in and out of each other streams Like it's kind of dizzying. I didn't even know where to consume it I don't know where to consume any of this actually you should sometimes my Twitter timeline is my Twitter timelines That is all Duke. Yeah, it's all Duke we could tell yeah

I'm not complaining No, I want to ask you a question. Yeah, you're last I watched your last YouTube video about 90 breath work thanks, dude, and I was thinking about like the the like The sexification of yeah with like health things and I think yeah early on it started with yoga Mm-hmm, and it's sort of like this is a sexy environment, but then like after the fact yeah And then there's like the era of the chiropractor YouTube thumbnails yeah and then I think it's like kind of reached its climax with this breath work yeah or people look

like they're actually being like hard-combed yeah and then where do you think like the next I have it you have I actually have it you have so it was a guy like and Where do I start this I don't know What met like what I gave to my Instagram algorithm to be gifted these like pieces of information But basically my Instagram algorithm for a while. There's actually a lot of these like alpha male therapy things where it was like Literally men screaming in circles unironically. That's kind of your shit. No, I got Huber mint in the beginning I would Yeah, this stuff was like in people's backyards. It's like five guys going The grunt yeah like maurice yours was like that man sleep away camp in like I got swept up There's like there's a retreats where men learn who oh, there's that one too. They like learn entrepreneur tactics

Yeah, and lift weights. Yeah, no chicks. Yeah It's 20 business along the lot the lines of that. Yes, but So I got a guy and I'm debating just making another video about it, which it's like It's the next up where it's not even pretending It's literally just all girls only he only does his healing practice on girls And it's him and they're they're fully in on it. It's like how I think evangelical churches used to like Cast someone to pretend to be able to like walk again or like I can see it's that same thing But it's just girls like faking orgasms. Okay. Yeah, so I used to I used to guy who has like a monopoly on this industry

No, I is a He's like just some random like Eastern European do they just does this okay, and it's always just chicks Yeah, oh, yeah, you never see him trying to heal men. I used to watch a healer, he lived in New York, he's an old Chinese guy, and he would go just to the park and have like the worst set up ever. He would like roll out like a newspaper for people to lay on and just like he would put his hands in a triangle and then he would suck out whatever's going on with them with his mouth. But then COVID happened and then he was doing it over Zoom and still putting it on YouTube So he's just rubbing his computer screen and he was incredible. I used to fall asleep to it I really loved it was the sounds of his old hands rubbing the monitor was soothing to me It was really nice Yeah, you're in LA now and you're like all the sexification of health like how many chicks are moving to LA just to get cracked

every day by a different chiropractor Like the girls are moving there to professionally be get their spine decompressed to be honest I don't know anyone who like I don't know anyone who lives that lifestyle So I'm not confident saying it, but I would estimate at least a million a year Yeah, yeah at least that's probably a little knowledge or experience in it I would say it's about they're going to be just a crack chick Yeah, yeah, it's a cottage industry. Oh Yeah, it's a cottage in Bali and

It's too short You're too short may even lied about my eyes five nine And they said no. No. Men only. They didn't have enough abs either. Nope, you had to send a shirtless picture? Yes.

Wait, did you actually pose? I did it as a joke. Yeah, but you didn't tell any of us. I did, yeah, I did 10. You did it as a joke for whom? I guess me. I put my phone and did the self timer. First take?

A bunch of takes okay Yeah, these two other legit. Yeah, I do Is it this is for the the waterfall getaway or it's guys only and it's the yes the majestic retreat With like the the scheduled meals yeah It's like no cell phones right you know no no cell phones just the boys are you're always cold plunging right always cold You go cold plunged a cold plunge Sensory deprivation chamber and weeping oh, I couldn't do that You think you can't but they bring it out of you. I don't think I could dude

Why I like looking at shit and feeling stuff. I love it. Oh, you can't do sensory that way I had to get my own head this is really good for you. There's a laboratory in Minneapolis where it's the only place in the world where it's completely silent. Yeah, but people can only stay in there for like 30 seconds before losing their mind. But if you make it past that point, if you have the resilience to make it past that anguish and misery. But don't you hear like your stomach digesting? Yeah, you hear all your organs. What? Yeah, I almost got swept up in that madness.

But I stopped. You're due for a new phase. Are you a phase guy? Do you go into... I tend to pick up like, I think I pick up new hobbies, but I've realized they're all kind of the same thing. Everything's the same. Yeah.

What are you both talking about? Well, okay, so a buddy of mind pointed this out to me, but I used to a lot of counter-strike as a kid. Oh, I took that back up. Yeah, and then I got into Racing so I was like okay a lot of go-karts like professional go-karts And then I was like gearing up for full-size stuff, but no time and then lately I'm really into pool and then my buddy goes you like shit with lines Like oh, yeah, that's really Yeah, counter-strike is like it's like holding angles racing is just following a line. It's line. Oh, yeah, it's all

I'm a line guy, and I don't know if I Yeah, there's a lot of lines, right? yeah, but these all feel like you know Those are the lines are important parts of those they're very linear you're into lines. Yeah, literally linear hobbies Yeah, did it like rock your world when you found out you were a line guy No, I just kind of laughs and like that makes sense like I'm just kind of I don't know my brain gets very I like I like just like charging forward on things so Yeah, you bought a truck bought a truck of the pool table. Yeah, it's a shit table, but it's a it's a great piece of machinery That's right. So you're just you're just combining them. Yeah How do we get counter-strike involved with a pool table car, I mean you just you just get a

exhibit yeah, yeah It's a little foldout Panel you uh in a parking lot. I was gonna say mount a gun on the truck. There's that too you're you're a Rightfully so pretty secretive guy. Yeah, I mean, but this is that is that Noel Miller driving by yeah Do you is that your is that your throat? Yeah? Yeah, I just ratchet strapped the groceries Put all your groceries in the triangle. Yeah Yeah fruits in the pocket milk in the you know pockets towards the cab You know a little bit less wind resistance won't fly out mook brick the break the other day you bricked a break

You've whiffed the break you airballed it. Where were you guys playing pool with you? Oh, yeah? Oh shit Yeah, you airballed it, but I got kind of I get I get nice I was intimidating either sink it or I with I think it's the perfect difficulty like we could go play and have fun with it We're not gonna be good. Yeah, but when I'm in a pool hall, I don't care about hitting a ball Well, I just want it to sound good Yeah And then I can act pretty well when I it doesn't go in when I'm not surprised at all You just do the silent like mmm. You gotta be kidding me. Yeah

Yeah, I'm a bit. It's like it's becoming my personality. I have to like stop Pretty all in no I'm a Pft. Brandon and big cat they asked me to go pitch in on a stretch Hummer That's for sit the mayor of Brandon's town is selling a stretch Hummer. Oh, yeah, you should do that. It's uh, how much 15 I mean that's but it's not 15 of me. It's it's split four ways. I'm saying that's like and like the thing is 15 for that That's a ton of car. Yeah, it's per yeah dollar if you're if it's per bit of car. Yeah, that's barely anything So I think I'd drive uber. Hey, what would you? the Hummer stretch

Oh my god, I people be so pissed. Just like yeah, you're 30th But the mayor of Brandon's small town in Wisconsin is selling it. I don't know why he had it. Well that's actually a good car for a mayor. Yeah. Stretch Hummer, Wretch Hummer. What would that possibly be for? Prom. Like you go to prom at your age. Oh yeah. Me now? Dude, you should do this. Do you regret your purchase of the Strangely Ever? I look at it. I'm like yeah, what do you doing? It rains?

Um oh, we just it's just garage. Okay. Okay. It's like a summertime whip you know it's also la it's not raining Okay, yeah, you're right. It's always a good day for the pool truck Have you played a full game on it now? I mean mean the table height's kinda high. Mm-hmm. The felt, we need to refelt it, but yeah, we make content with it and it's fun, but yeah, not a full game. Actually, that's a lie, I have played a full game of nine ball on the table, yeah.

What's next, like if you're snooker a thing? I think I'll probably make my way to snooker. The problem with snooker is there aren't many places to play it, especially in LA, so it's easier to stick to pool, but yeah, yeah snooker is You gotta that's a different level of skills snooker is a I would just see British dudes that's pool it's just like a British dude that looks like every other British dude playing really well in like a in like a valet uniform

It's just like it's like extra right? Yeah, yeah, it's just more pool on its way more pool you you basically have to pot one of the red balls to pot One of the colored object balls, and you have to like go back and forth Yeah, snooker games get crazy, so you do you consume all of this I watch as of late I watch a lot of matchroom pool, and I'm sorry this is so boring no it's interesting I Watch a lot of matchroom pool games So like eight ball nine ball stuff, and I watch snooker on occasion

But I actually watch like matchroom pool games to like learn shit I fucking have an album in my phone of people's like bridging techniques Yeah, that's nice the organization is nice Yeah, but like this compared this community is seems probably pretty quiet and like put together versus the counter-strike community Which is the most toxic video game? Yeah? And it teaches kids at a very young age like gamble yes skin Yeah, some of those counter-Strike skins are like hundreds of thousands of dollars, right?

When I was playing CS it wasn't like that. Okay. What's actually pretty crazy is when I was playing Counter-Strike, all the features in the game now, like the competitive play, you had to do that outside of the game. So you'd be on IRC, you know what that is? I don't.

It's actually like a, it was a chat app back in the day, but a lot of hackers used to use it as well Okay, you would like cross paths with weird people on irs. Yeah, some way Yeah, but um, but it like you play today So today like you open up counter-strike 2 and you just you know, you'll find Q and it'll auto You know based on rank and stuff. It'll auto Organize like five on five. Back in the day, you used to have to like find a team on IRC and I would do a lot of that.

Have you made like a lifelong friend from it? Yeah, I actually have a couple lifelong friends. Have you seen them in person? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's cool. I've always wanted that, like a guy you play a game with. I don't have anybody like that though. Rudy and I are big age of empires guys.

Oh really? Yeah. Hell yeah. Yeah, we do it like every night. Poorly. are big Age of Empires guys. Oh really? Yeah. Hell yeah. Yeah, we do it like every night. Yeah. Poorly. Very poorly, but like yeah, I just, I bought a PC over Christmas

and I spent more than I should have. Yeah. And now I'm playing a game from 1999 sold exclusively. Dude, you guys gotta up to StarCraft. Yeah, StarCraft. That's what people are saying. Yes. That's what T-Bob was saying to me yesterday.

I just. I never played it. I remember, the only thing I know about Starcraft is like this if you lose your ship It's gone right and so people are losing like tons of money No, no, no, no game. No no Starcraft is RTS. Okay play Starcraft 2. It's easier to play Yeah, it's like Age of Empires, but In space okay, they'll actually the I don't know if you guys care about it. Feel free to stop me at any time if no one gives a shit

about this, but have you heard of Warhammer 40K? Yes. So StarCraft was originally supposed to be the Warhammer 40K RTS. And then Games Workshop, the creators of Warhammer, I believe they had a falling out with Blizzard. There was a creative difference. But Blizzard had basically already developed a game. So they're like, well, we're falling out with Blizzard. Like there was like a creative difference. But Blizzard had basically already developed a game,

so they're like, well, we're moving forward with this. So everything about StarCraft is like Warhammer adjacent. Like there's like this human. But Warhammer is a miniatures game in real life. I used to be into that. Did you really? I used to play Star Wars TIE Fighter. Oh, got it.

And it was just so slow for a game where you should be flying a rocket ship. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was horrible. Yeah, but StarCraft is great, 1v1. And there's a lot of modded games that are fun as hell too. Yeah, we'll try it. I gotta get into this stuff.

You gotta. The modded stuff is interesting, even with Counter-Strike, Counter-Strike is probably the most popular competitive shooter game, and it came about because it was a mod of Half-Life Yeah, like yeah, and dude is like I just want to make a shooter. Yeah, and the lazy. Yeah, it was like an expansion of Half-Life and then even

Even when you look at like early like what competitive play of Counter-Strike. It's it's just really wild for a long time Swedes and Danes, they dominated those beginning competitive moments of Counter-Strike. And the way they played then was like a window. Well, it was a window into the future. Okay, they're like the Steph Curry. Cause they were doing shit,

they understood in the game, breaking through the sky boxes. So they would do stuff like they understood in the game like breaking through like the sky boxes So they would do stuff like throwing flashes into corners of the map and they would understand that why do you think that started in? Scandinavia um I don't know yeah I really don't know yeah, yeah weird. It was localized there. Don't you see like the joy We're having talked about he can't get into games. Yeah, I'm into like 1920s boxing now. What? Yeah, like back then there was no TKOs.

Okay. So guys would just like beat the other guys face off and the ref would just chill in the background. And then the commentators are so good because they're just like going poetry for the whole time. And they're just ragging on the guy. And I've been really into this Jack Dempsey guy. Have you heard of him?

Yeah. Yeah, there's a video of him just beating the teeth out of this guy for like 20 minutes, and the commentator's just like, he's helpless. He's lost all coordination between brain and hand. His face is pounded to a pulp. His tired eyes gaze peer through a mask of blood. They're doing this live and it's a beautiful prose.

His nose and cheekbones are fractured. His jaw broken. Half a dozen teeth fell out. His effort is pitiful. The pro-amble to the Shakespeare chapters. He's beautiful. And he's like a wobbly need fairy, losing his manhood, punch by punch in front of 70,000 spectators in the blistering heat

He'll be dead in a minute And then the whole time the refs just chilling in the background like keep it clean Dempsey The I think he killed a guy in one of the fights really yeah, that's some boxing was good We could kill someone in the ring. I think people did die. It's the reason that like TKOs. Yeah, then he was the commentator was like, oh You might be asking why won't this referee stop the fight? Why? That's because it's Al Prickard. He's old school Dude, it's 1919 It is crazy to be considered old school and you're from the 18. Yeah

1880s I guess yeah, yeah, they used to have swords in his day How did you get into this I Was like looking up you just play halo with us because I was into like old baseball Then I was like 1920s was thoroughbred racing Clarence cummer It was baseball obviously babe Ruth and then he pointed you do you know I don't know the point Would you point out for Clarence come as you guys cuz he was like the legend back then we don't him

Silent greatness yeah, what was great about him um he deteriorated What was great about him? He deteriorated to death. Oh. What is that? Oh, OK, cool. What a legend. No, I think he won the most. But then he just died of deterioration?

Yeah, he was. That was a way to go about that. They actually starved him. Yeah. Wait, really? They starved him. To keep him light for the horse? Yeah, to keep him light.

Yeah. And he just vanished? Mm-hmm. Damn, look at those wins. Look at those wins. That's longer than his article. Wins longer than your article. What a boast.

Ain't much to say, he was just a winner. Yeah, oh my God. But I need to get into like games. I love GeoGuessr. Yeah. I'm like addicted. Wait, you ever played Factorio? He would like that.

He might like that. Yeah, you like basically build a factory. You build a factory and you gotta automate it. You know this. That's something you would like too. I really like that. Yeah, you like basically a factory you build a factory and you got to automate it. You know this Yeah, that's something you would like I really like games. I love like tycoon games. Henry Ford would have fucking loved this shit. Yeah Dude I've been on the hardest game I've ever played ever in my life is Planet Zoo that I'm playing right now and it should be easy and it's the hardest game I've ever interesting Well, is it old? No, it's new. Oh, I was trying was trying to bill you know, it's that's it dude. Look at that. That game is hardcore So I I will admit like I watch people play through this and it's mesmerizing

It is so hard and I'm spending so long on one exhibit and then all my guests are just mad that they can see the door Where the zoo keep Andrew human is so mad at you right now. Yeah wasting your life on games Yeah, but I'm learning valuable skills of zoo building. Yeah, Huberman's anti no games. Yeah Just stare at the Sun. I'm into this game Be serious take your life serious the worst part like I I fell for that I would wake up go outside stare at the Sun In New York City I know I remember you're getting on my ass then you say you were just like once last time you stood in grass

You called them parcels. Oh, yeah my parcels Also you you refused for about a year to combine two good things Like you wouldn't walk and listen to music. It would be one or the other No, yeah, I would deprive myself of my favorite songs To try to control the dopamine. I was just depressed. Is that what it was? I think so I have a sad admission. I started doing the wake up and look at the Sun this week this week Why do you look into the Sun? No, they literally say when they're like you got to wake up and see the sun

It's really good for you and like for your circadian rhythm and they literally say in the second line Do not look directly at the sun Yeah, that's my new thing cuz my sleep schedule is so fucked up No, I woke up with my dog with both of his fangs in each of my nostrils pulling upwards He's still in the rest. I had to call him the big guns, dude What you have a big gun? I have a big gun that I had to call him the big guns dude. You have a big gun I have a big gun that I had to call in and they just got a new dog and it's just like biting the shit out Of him, but he treats my girlfriend like an angel and he treats me like just a snack because he knows what you do to her He's the only one that's seen yeah, yeah, that's the only he's the he sees how you had a good Papparino

No, dude, I hired an old British woman to come into my home five days That's what you need and she is so mean to you or the dog both of us Like she's calling she's basically calling me a pussy. What is she saying? You're doing wrong or everything. I'm doing everything wrong Where does it go wrong though? Like what dude I walk in the door from work I? Sit down and I am feasted upon But what are you doing wrong? I don't know But like and then she's like go to my girlfriend She's like you walk in the door and show them how to do it and she just does in the dog licks her

I'm doing the same fucking thing. That's just a lack of aura Yeah, obviously would love my puppy My puppy would love Duke. Here's the thing if Duke walked in your house your dog would lay down Put its head down. Oh, yeah, start itching its ears. Yeah, dude shit. So my girl. Yeah Just belittles you the dog or the woman British lady. Yeah, I hired a British woman and she's just she's coming to my house and being mean to me Yeah, got hot Yeah, I can't do a British accent but she like she just looks like a statement she was saying she was just like

You need you're not his friend. You're his father Wow It was just like, you're not his friend, you're his father. Wow. Does she like, is she kind of posh with it? No, she's like, she's been here for a while. She's pretty Americanized. She just has the accent, and then she's, she might take him up to hers and spend a day with him. Her own place.

Yeah, spend a day with him. By all means, yeah, do that. Yeah, Debra do that, and then he comes back and he's shaking. Yeah. Half his ear is shaved off. He's great. He's great. He won't do that again. Yeah You'll never do that again That's the fact you won't ever do anything again. Yeah

Yeah, we'll see how it goes. I'm the happiest I've ever been. That's good. I can tell. Yeah. Well, if you're getting chewed up in the mornings, dude, by a dog, you're ready for a kid. Yeah, you think so? You think so? Say that has to be somewhat preparation. A part of me was like, this is harder than a kid.

No, no. Kid, kid. I'm telling you right now, kid is always. Your kid can't jump up on the dinner table and steal a meatball yet As soon as they learn to walk their thing is they like to grab okay waste on shit And okay you got to think about like kids will fucking grab like an oven door and just slam Into the ground if you look away for a second mm-hmm. Yeah, how long are you in town?

Not long why take her nesto tonight, please okay? How long are you in town? Not long, why? Take Ernesto tonight, please. Oh, okay. And then you'll be like, you were right. You know what's crazy is, I mean, I'm definitely starting to get the dad tendencies. It's with my dog now. Like before I let him bark, but now I'll be making breakfast and then if he starts acting

up, I turn around with the, you know. Yeah. I go, hey, leave it. Your spot, now. And then he'll go, oh fuck, cuz I've never acted that way to him And then you know now it's to the point where I try to train him with no verbal Okay acts up. I just walk over and it works. Yeah, and he goes to his shit that I just I don't know It's like a face thing or a body. I think it's me. It's just every bit about me

So does he just like attack you yeah like he will run full speed and dive at me with this boat his legs behind So he's like torpedo shaped into my face Wow Like from far away like I like a dude in bands couch that's shaped like a staple, okay He'll run from the room jump on one end, and I'm on the other side He's midair for like six feet, just right between the eyes. Laser accuracy. You gotta punch him. Yeah, you think?

What can you do legally? I don't know. I've heard, what's his name? Cesar Millon, Dog Whisperer? Yeah, yeah. I've heard there's like a thing if you tap them on the top of your leg. And go like this, pfft.

Yeah, I don't even know if that makes a sound. I tried, I tried. I watched a YouTube video. Yeah. I tried, even try sound I tried I watched a YouTube video Yeah, I tried and it doesn't he he's so fast he catches my hand going in it just goes down his throat your dog That's crazy because dogs always like look for an alpha and they look for like the pecking order Yeah, and I he has placed you beneath him. Oh, yeah You were laughing that's what it is yeah biologically it is a nine month old Yorkie it's just like no name being Ernesto like in my head I'm always just like you walk in he's like

what's up what's yeah what's up white boy? That's the dynamic. He'll lick my girlfriend on the cheek and look at me and go like that. What's up fool? You wanna do some shit about it or what? Hey I'm with your girl. That's what's happening. That's upsetting huh? That's what's happening. That's upsetting huh?

Oh you weren't planning on who could have thought that? On your knees fool. Hey watch this shit. He's scared. Hey look. Wearing your jeans? 501's again Dude the fact that, oh I get it now, yeah you're getting G checked every time you get in your house That's exactly what it is Hey well slow homies, it's my house or your house

It's so bad It's so bad. It's so bad. That is awesome, dude. And it's like the thing is like, I've said it last, Paul, the specialist was like, instead of sending him to his crate area, you need to go to a different room. So I walk in, he bites me and my girlfriend just goes, basement, and it's me. And I'm like, she's talking to me. That's not helping me and so I just waiting in the basement he's like your big brother downstairs I'm playing

yeah it is crazy man you're you are getting put in your yeah dude I so I go downstairs I try to play video games he comes down he takes the first controller I got the bad cats is he good at chomping so good he's got a good teeth yeah and they're still growing yeah yeah ever big ever bigger do you have I'm curious you know to like people who listen to stuff are they are they trying to get are they trying to get you on games like whose side are they on with the games a lot of conversations I can't participate in because of games. It's a big social activity for them Yeah

And they seem to have a blast doing it so y'all two are gamers I knew I stream and I go home and game okay, okay? So all I do is play video games got it. I'm a college man your cause. It's called nice I mean GeoGuessr is a game. Yeah, but it's like that's like a Raining outside recess inside game. I guess they're not blocking GeoGuessr at schools. They're not What do you like about GeoGuessr? Because I'm really into maps and I like spent my entire life like looking at maps, especially of the US And wait wait wait just as you said sorry. I'm not trying to cut you off. You look up heart of iron. Oh

The tank game? No. So yeah, and I well. Is that what I'm thinking? Oh, oh, I know what you're talking. It's like a real world map RTS. Yes. And you could choose like our hometown is like your base and it's like uses Google images at Google satellite. No, no, no. This is like this this is like, it's war-based. Because I think you like Excel spreadsheet as a game. Like that's kind of more or less what I'm gleaning. Yes, everything has to be data-based. Yeah, and this game, damn it, I don't, I think it's Hearts of Iron. It's all like historical war based and You're it's like you're controlling an army, but it's visualized as a map with arrows

Okay, so the map that that would make me more interested. Yes, so you're kind of like, you know, was this north Italy? Yeah Yeah, this could be up your alley. Yeah, definitely But he he gets a kick out of learning, like we were playing yesterday, he gets a kick out of learning the like, certain states have certain highway signs that are shaped this way. He's really good at recognizing- What's your favorite highway state?

License plates. A lot of parity in the badges. New York has a fun little curve. Pennsylvania being a keystone is cool. Yeah, the keystone is the best. California has the cool like rounded diamond shape I'm picking up. Yeah, yeah, you want to play pool man

Great pool partner just based on what you're saying angles I mean I mean with pool It's like the the speed of the felt and you know the size of the billiard ball the material Yeah, cue that you're using is that what you like about it like the almost the math about it. Oh, yeah Yeah, okay, once you start playing with English. Oh my god. It's heard about English. Yes. It's such a Dude, I love looking up old-school billiards players like they give tutorials like there's a YouTube video it's like Some player I forget his name. It's if you just look up on YouTube

Like pool clock method and it's this old-school video and it's like this is the only video by you know that one second one's clock system in pool Can you look at the description what's this guy's name? Oh, yeah, like this guy's good. I trust him system No description Actually, this isn't can you can you like search clock system and pull in on YouTube again? It's even it's older than this God damn it. And this is the stuff that you I I think yeah Buddy Hall clock system there you go. Buddy Hall. It's got that buzz.

That's an old ass buzz. Is this a music video? What the fuck? Okay, yeah, dude. So this is the intro to a pool video? Yeah, yeah, so they're gonna start making out in a second, but... So this is the intro to a pool video? Yeah, yeah, so they're gonna start making out in a second, but WW Woody or the difference in a negi and so someone clipped out like a section of this and it's like This is the only time buddy Hall has ever gone on camera talking about his system. Oh, this is rare Yeah, and so, you know, he'll be like now I'm gonna aim from the same place and you need to pick what's your one o'clock,

but you're going to move off of what your one o'clock is. And if you notice the English I put on it, no matter where I'm shooting from, and he'll just do like insane shit with his shot and he'll always guarantee where the cue ball is going to land post shot. So yeah, the part that I'm, I finally graduated to in pool is setting up for shots two three and four

So now almost like chess it is a little bit definitely What would you write like say your first two three shots are like scripted? No, it depends so if I'm breaking I don't do it well, but I'm trying to so if I'm playing eight ball I'm trying to get good at this break from behind the first notch I'm trying to get good at this break from behind the first notch It's like it's like a angled corner break and when I hit it right I'll pocket two on the break and Then I've actually did it recently. I pocketed the eight ball on the break, which is an instant win. Yeah. Yeah, so It's like the golden snitch. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, basically, but if I'm playing safe

I'll just I'll just do like a closed bridge break just straight down the center So I hopefully Pot on the break there But yeah from there like I'm just getting better at like looking at what's available and and Setting up for at least two or three shots. Are you are you a patient man? I can be yeah Are you would you consider yourself now right now? But are you still in the phase where you're progressing pretty rapidly? No, I think now like it's getting down to like weird

nuance of you know what's the angle of my elbow and you know. But are you like I have to I have to be better. I have to be better. Oh sure sure sure yeah I guess in that way yeah. You're not like this isn't fun, this is something I need to get better at. Yeah, but like every time I'm learning, and it's like incredible. That's what I want in life. Yeah. Pool, I think, infinitely-

In life? Yeah, just to pursue something not too serious, kinda casually, but you get so passionate about it in a fun way. I think pool is that, and I say this because, you know, boys, boys are lacking hobbies. Yeah. Young men are lacking hobbies. They sure are.

And I think pool is honestly such a pool takes you to weird ass places. Yeah. Yeah. Like the type of venues. Yes. Like and just on the road, I love going to pool halls and like the variety of pool halls I've been to. And just, you see some crazy fucking people and then you get taken to crazy parts of just,

like in Florida, I was in a student college gig and I go to this pool hall and it's like a pro pool hall during the day. Every table well maintained, they have like classic Brunswick tables with smaller pockets, it's all like set up for brunch. The classic Brunswick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We know, we know.

All nine footers, all that. And then after nine, it is a club, full on club. It turns to like a hood spot. Okay. Yeah, but what's crazy is you're in there and it's all these guys that are probably gang members, they're all tatted up on the face, but they take pool so seriously.

They're all walking in there with Q bags. And they're playing, like they're really, really playing. And it was like such a crazy scene because it's like half the room is dancing and it's all modern music I've never shot pool to walk a Intimidating to just walk into yeah, but I mean that's another beautiful thing is like with pool There's like this weird mutual you're here to play mm-hmm. So they didn't care Okay, we just walked in and they looked over and they're like, mm, mm, kept playing.

Do you have to verbally say, hey, do you wanna play me? To people? Yeah, how do you get a game going? Would that be a hurdle? I wouldn't be, I would wait. I would want someone to want to play me. Oh, where are you, Moop? This is, me and Sass went through this fixation.

Oh, you guys were going to pool halls in every city you went to every city This was like a half club half pool hall. We're at you know, I think this was outside of Dallas Okay, and then one time in Toronto. We ended up in like their Chinatown and it was like oh, there's a beautiful Billiards place I've been to there. Yeah, there's like 50 tables. Are you talking about though? It's like on a second story Yes, yes, dude that place is incredible. It's like all green it rocks. Oh my god. It's fucking gorgeous in there. Yeah, yeah Brunswick's Yeah, always Snooker tables all that yeah earlier on yak. I was I was asking like I've realized after I sounded like a cunt when I was asking but I just I was like oh like what size tables are they

Playing on his stuff because sometimes I'll say like I'm into pool and people go Oh, yeah, I'm into pool too. And then Then I don't know how much nerd to let out. Yeah, cuz I start talking about it. It's like, oh, no No, I just like playing at bars. I don't like this corny shit. You're talking. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but that's sick Yeah, it's fun. Did you guys stop? Yeah, we switched to call of Duty. Now we bring our boxes on the road. That's fair. Yeah. Yeah So are you when you're playing at someone are you put is it for money? I'm not there yet but like for games like if I see guys playing nine ball or that it nine ball is a sign that

Like someone plays a bit more than just casual. So recently I'll just walk up to guys playing nine ball I'm like, oh do you want to run the ones or do you want to go like twos like if it's two of them? And usually people are very chill about it because it's it there's like a weird middle layer where I think people want a hobby but they don't want to be too into it. And so if you're like casual and you're like, yeah, I just like this, then it's that's like a dope, you know? Yeah. Do you have any etiquette tips that not just gameplay like? What are some faux pas that I should avoid doing me like the chalk or the triangle? I'm just gonna fucking nuke the engagement right now, but I

Think just etiquette shit is like don't like don't lean on the tables No drinks on the table stuff like that people I'd notice this too Pool halls like people get frustrated on shots and start slamming the queue on the table Oh, I would do that. Yeah, I won't do that Yeah, anyways, yeah, all right, man, you know give a heart out of three we kept you five minutes. Oh, no, dude It's all good. Yeah. Well, what a fucking boring way to end it The audience we have like we we talk about like logos and maps. OK, cool, cool, cool. Well, it's Wikipedia.

You don't got to worry about engagement. The name of the podcast is yeah. Yeah, we don't get clicks. Yeah, actually, dude, nobody will see. Yeah, we were just hanging out. Do you want to do you want to tell a secret? Do I want to tell a secret? Let me think about it.

Yeah, you don't have no pressure Is that the premise of this like? This is just like kind of just like our journal, okay? Telling a secret. I mean let me think about that. You don't have I I don't even know if I have a good secret I don't either. I wish I did or I don't I I've done nothing like really bad no Like not one thing like really bad. I don't think yeah. Oh, here's a here's a secret I took a shit earlier. No kidding. I knew you did I thought you left the yak is a milliac I had a blow was it bad no no it was fine

I actually you got I heard so much chat about the big stall Oh, yeah, the museum that I but someone was using it. Yeah, so then I went in and Yeah, I you know that steak that I had and all that so my right throw Yeah, I was gonna act like I didn't but I felt the amount of time I was gone It was it was we thought you would I thought you did left. Yeah. No, no, no I had a had a blow one out so that was my secret. That's that you feel better The secret and for the shit to feel better. Yeah nice yeah. Nice man. Alright well thank you so much. Thank you guys for having me. Any shows that aren't sold out? Yeah you know when does this come out? Next week.

So I will have just left. I got shows like later this year. How often are you on the road? Pretty often man. I mean the back half the year is pretty busy. Oh, man. If anyone's in LA, I'm doing my first headline spot at the Comedy Store. Can I check that out? Very nice. Nice. Yeah, end of June. That should be a good time. Sacramento Show is getting moved because... Oh, okay. Yeah, so I don't know if I can say that, but that's how I'll phrase it.

Yeah, don't say that. Yeah, you don't have to say that. Wait, where's the West Virginia show? Oh, yeah, that's what I'll phrase it. Yeah don't say that. Yeah you don't have to say that. Wait where's the West Virginia show? Oh yeah that's what I was trying to look over. So I was wrong I'm going to just the two up two down. Just regular Virginia. That's a faux pas. Come on. As offensive as it can get. I'm sorry guys. No it's okay. I'll bring you a couch to burn next time.

Thank you man. I appreciate that. I appreciate that. Alright no this is great I appreciate it man. Yeah no I appreciate you guys. Cool.