A New Untold Story - Man Simulator - A New Untold Story: Ep. 455

Episode Date: July 2, 2025

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Hey, a new untold story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad free on Amazon Music. I'm told story. It's a fresh big untold story. Now they just like, they didn't catch on the wave of the G.L.P. ones, which is just was epic. Yeah. Oh, one. Yeah. And they're just getting cratered. A dude was epic is there has to be something that's happened. Isn't like also people who are on Osempic isn't their skin

having a trouble sticking to their skull. Isn't it like sort of droop off their face? I heard. Is that true? Yeah. Yeah. Someone lost a face, I think. Yeah, it's just you get a Rasputin face. It's like it's Yeah. Someone lost a face, I think. Yeah. It's just you. Rasputin face. It's like it's like, I don't know, like the the the the suction qualities of the only thing that sucks is we

can't make fun of JLP ones. Why are you saying JLP one? Is that a Zempik? Oh, that is they all have it now. Stop saying JLP one. Well, that's what they say on their website. You sound like a guy. Don't say that in conversation. Did you look into getting a Zempik? No, no, it's just Well, that's what they say on their website. You sound like a don't say that in conversation.

Did you look into getting a Zempik? No, no, it's just on the website. Why were you on their website? Because I need a finesse drive right here. Oh, OK. Yeah. I'm a sponsored. Are you on Oz already? No. You think about it? No. It's respectful.

No, no, no. I'm just asking the question. You bring up G.L.P. one. No, I mean, everyone loves to say about it. I'm puffy now, which is true. Yeah, I do. I didn't change anything in my life from like 20s to now, and now it's just everything I eat just stays with me forever.

The thing is, I can't do it because I already am on like a cocktail of. Substance, would you do it? No, I don't think I'm I know just because I'm too scared of the side effects. And I also like I'll be honest, Kendrick Lamar had like a pretty profound effect on that, too, like

him making fun of Drake for doing Ozempic. Kendrick Lamar is the reason you're not on Ozempic. And he was like he was like, go do some he was like, go do some fucking push ups. And I was like, shit. Well, did you see Drake's new

picture? Weird. Did you see it, Kyle? You're the bod. So Drake posted a new bod. He's sweaty in his bar. And it's like, he has, some people are calling him out for having no chest,

no arms, but the most defined abs a man can have. That's his body? Yeah. It's him damp as fuck in his bar. Those are like abs that are impossible to achieve without sacrificing everything in your life. Unless he's like... I'm telling you dude, those are artificially created.

Those are fake abs. Yeah. It just looks weird compared with everything else. It doesn't mesh with the rest of his body. Like his arms aren't defined enough for that to be a thing. You're a billionaire with a 13 inch cock't defined enough for that to be a thing. You're a billionaire with a 13 inch cock. You don't need to have fake abs.

But I love this setup of just like, he's drenched at his bar. Is that his? That's gotta be his crib, right? That's gotta be his own crib. That's the Texas crib, I guarantee it. I know that's Drake's crib, because his curtain doors,

he would go through that so So so gaily. Yeah. He'll sashay through the doors with cookies. Who's hungry? I hope you saved room. I hope you saved room for cookies. Caramel drizzle cookies. Take a bite. Guess what I added. It's a little bit of salt. All right. Have you seen his?

He's on a lot of funny stuff. But when he held his own basketball tournament in his house, Drake did and all of his boys played on teams and he was the star. And then he won the championship and there was confetti and a trophy. And he did like a postgame interview. Like it was one of the things we shit on him, but that's how you should be spending your money a hundred percent He does everything yes, man and win everything yeah It was it was honest to God like the chapelle skid with Prince like Barstool sports

Forest fucking survivor your tactics are unmatched so Barso is just role playing being the man. We have championships every week. We get excited about like, we want the trophy more than anything. Dude, the only time I'm walking around without a curled up like fucking embarrassed spine is when I'm in here. This is the only place I have confidence. I walk in here and I'm just like, fuck yeah. That's so true. We just did the Ryder Cup. Barso is like an awesome dude simulation. The man I walk in here. I'm just like, fuck. Yeah, that's so true. We just did the writer.

Barso is like an awesome dude simulation. You get hired here and you're like for a few hours a day. You're the man. No, and you know, it sucks is I still lose everything. We still lose. Yeah. Yeah. Some guys still lose. Yeah. Yeah. But like that's we're necessary to build up. Yes, we're the yes men that are just like oh dude that fucking 40 time

You have is crazy. You're lightning quick. Yeah Dude you got eight reps on the bench Dude, I've cashed in on compliments for rock-paper-scissors for sprinting for Smith Machine Lifts dude. Yeah, I've accepted the compliments. I'm like, yes, I'm the man. They bought a nice confetti cannon for you to win a rock paper scissors tournament.

I got confettied for RPS. And I cashed in on all the praise. I was like, yes, this is perfect. But in the moment, there's a GIF of Kyle getting confettied for winning the rock paper scissors tournament. And there's a moment of clarity of just, I'm actually not the man. Have you seen the GIF of him getting confetti?

It was confetti, gotta be humble about this, be humble about this. Wait, why am I having to be humble? The KB Rock, Paper, Scissor Championship. How's that not, how's? Dude, I've cashed in, one time I drew the most perfect circle in the office. What?

Yeah. And you can, and then- I remember I was looking at the comments, it was like, KB's was the best. KB, sneaky legend. Holy shit. Dude, one of the ones I got was, remember when we had that punch machine? Yeah.

Vibs was doing a video was like, can anyone kick it? And I did this like jumping high kick. Yeah. It just connected so sweetly. People were coming up to me and they're like, that kick was incredible. I don't. I was like, real rude. Nice kick. I don't get out enough. Like, but. I don't get out enough like, but whenever I do, I just realize like

I've dressed worse than everybody. I look worse than everybody. But in here. Yeah, we're just like, damn, Nick, I don't know. You had some on the records. You're like the record store prints like you.

You are like the pinnacle of like the record store hangout guys. I don't think so. But like I'm a phony because I would be so intimidated like you know of like the record store hangout guys. I don't think so. But like I'm a phony because I would be so intimidated. Like, you know how like the record store of like what's in my bag? I wouldn't have any, I would have like a Funko Pop. But.

The old record store boys. Yeah, yeah. Dude, I remember hitting home runs on a little league field built for 10 year olds. That's what we did. And I would go back and watch the highlights of me hitting 180 foot home runs. Yeah.

And be like, holy shit, this was sick. Off a tee. Off a tee. When something's like, when somebody sets you up for success, they say, put it on a tee for them. Yeah. And that's literally what you were doing. Yeah.

Oh, man. I was like, oh. Fuck, man. We're all Drake. I was walking around. We're all Drake here, yeah. What you were doing yeah? Man we're all Drake. I was walking around yeah Simulators everyone is Drake. It's crazy. God damn the Drake Barso is a Drake simulator Like Drake and like weirdly for being like the most unrelatable person on earth is weirdly relatable like he goes on vacation and gets excited to post a picture. Yeah, yeah. Like he just loves doing that.

Yeah. Damn Nick, you're a tactical genius beating Alex Bennett in the hot dog eating contest on Barstool vs America. Did you do that? Yeah, I crushed her. In a hot dog? Also the other.

First to three. The other day is that. Right. We never dub city All my dubs are fucking fake The funny thing though is that like we also have a nice thing to or we don't we're not athletic and we don't never do Things that actually require like regular athleticism unless we do like basketball or whatever But then like if we do like the frisbee thing

in Barstool vs America, you look like a Greek God compared to white. Like there's gonna be someone that just physically can't do the task. And White Sox Dave, in contrast to that, you look like, you look like an agreed God. People make fun of the Barstool hiring process of nerds and weird looking people,

and they think it's cause the other people find it's funny, it's to make them the man. Yes. In comparison. True. Yeah. We're all cans. We're all trash cans. In a way, it's like probably really therapeutically beneficial because adults, grown men

don't get to like regularly experience like victory. Yeah. And we do, on a weekly pace. A non-bar stool job, how often does a grown man feel like the man? You have to convince yourself that that spreadsheet was. Yeah, I know the quick commands in Excel. That's why they're all getting into ultra-marathons and hybrid athletics.

Jiu-jitsu. Jiu-jitsu, yeah. Taking the world by storm. Dudes always see my cauliflower and are like, you gotta go to this Jiu-jitsu. Jiu-jitsu, yeah. Taking the world by storm. Dudes always see my cauliflower and are like, you gotta go to this Jiu-jitsu workout. I love it when they say you gotta tumble with me. I don't wanna go and get rear naked choked by a venture capitalist.

It's like, I'm just gonna get tapped out by tech entrepreneurs. But see, that's the same thing. They go there to be the man. Dude, I know that would happen on the first day. A tech entrepreneur just chokes me out to shit. And he was like, don't worry buddy, you'll get there. Long process. Some guy with multiple billion dollar valuations just kicking your ass.

You don't need to watch him drink a smoothie. Yes, his Erawan smoothie. You'll get him next time. Get him next time. Get them next. So if you're a guy out there struggling, just hire some retards to beat the fuck up. It's the company you keep. You gotta put yourself in situations.

There's like a male sadness epidemic. There is. And I think what you need to do is get yourself some pathetic homies. Yeah. You need true. If you're sad, it's because your friends are too cool. Truly.

You need homies with zero redeeming qualities. Yes, and if you're a homie with zero redeeming qualities, realize how valuable you are. Yes. Realize how necessary you are. Soak it all up. Sell yourself for more. It's like an ecosystem.

I want everybody to reach out to their biggest loser and to be like, hey man, thank you. He is important You are so integral to the ecosystem. Yeah, you got to collect but I think that's what's happening It's too many people want to be the man That's exactly right. I said that we have a surplus of beasts. Yeah These guys are getting into like these guys are guys are turning into just incredible beasts and no one cares. That's why we need war.

No one cares. That's why we need a war. Dude, I'm at the gym and I'll see you guys come in that are like spent years on their body. Everything about it is physically perfect. And then I walk in, I'm like, don't care. No one cares. Like you said, but Drake, the upkeep of abdominal muscles

is nearly impossible. And we're guys with a ton of free time. Every dude has them I like just scroll through right photos yeah no not like I'm not searching for them but I like on Instagram a dude at the beach or a girl with her boyfriend and these dudes have like those bumps under the like the like the well I don't even know what they're fucking called and we have come guys dude bumps that I didn't know rolling reels and there are

impossible before now warriors and beasts. People don't know how much they've worked for this. How powerful these men are, but no one cares because there's so many of them. There are a dime a dozen. And the only way they can get respect is by being social media personalities. That's gonna run dry dry and now we're gonna have an overabundance of warriors who are very upset and they're gonna kill themselves. Yeah dude we're

gonna work dude we're a nation of bored warriors. Yes. And what we need to do is just we need to find something for him to do. Yeah. If the next person that taps what these what these gods of men can do with their time will be a billionaire. Right, because they're doing ultra marathons. They're fasting. They're going on retreats to fast for 72 hours. And people are done caring about that.

But they're so powerful. I don't know what we could use them for. I think that a good stop gap would be like if in regular cities rather than having like kids Playgrounds and stuff there was just obstacle courses for dudes just like around the city in various But the thing is like that's already been done like dudes will do stuff every day that would make them immortal 300 years ago like a tough mutter like Like the like the guy that ran the fucking Olympic The first marathon the guy that ran to marathon like dudes do that every day

These are doing like you're doing marathons one every weekend. They're doing it backwards and They're bodybuilders They're like prepping to be beasts in like the 1600s and they go home and like uber eats protein smoothies There's there's it's unbelievable like they will do a task daily that would get them statues in Rome. Yes. Exactly. People don't know how hard these beasts work. We're in a feet drought is what I wonder. They're like douchey and like wound up like yeah like they're such beasts and no one gives a fuck. Dude, if you were born 2000 years ago, you would be revered as a god.

You would have 12 Greek boys doing anything you want to your body. We're in a feet drought, and we need more feats for men. We need more, yeah, men should feel like champions more often. Just too many tough men. Oh, new untold story episode. New untold story. I don't even know the episode number, do you?

It's 4.55. I didn't have time to research. It's Monday. We're squeezing the episode in. Before we all leave vacation. I'm staying in town. You're going to Traverse City. Traverse City for Cherryfest week. What's going on? I don't know. I rented some e-bikes and the guy was like, you know how it is on Cherryfest week.

How do you reply to that? I was like, oh shit. He's like, yeah, we're not gonna be able to deliver your bikes at 9 a.m. sharp. You know how it is on Cherryfest week. He was saying that he that he like scoff. Like I got what? No, I'm on vacation for the first time. Cherry fest week. This must be a big deal.

In Traverse City. Is that it? That's Traverse City. It's just a cup of cherries. People festivity. That looks like it. Do you like cherries? You know, wait, Trace Atkins is going to be there. I did not know that. Also, the Cherry Fest has already started. I'm gonna be going into the middle of Cherry Fest. Yeah, you're gonna miss the kickoff. Miss the kickoff.

You're gonna be there for the end of it though, July 5th? I will be there, yeah. Why Traverse City? I think it's like a premier beach town in the Midwest. It has beautiful cascading water, no? Well, like waterfalls? Yeah. Maybe.

Okay. I know it's like a big beach town on the Great Lakes, one of the biggest. That looks like a water park. That Mooc Search Traverse City water park. That must be it. That's it. Oh, it is beautiful. Yeah, it's a beach.

Wherever we went, Michigan once had the most crystal clear water. It was stunning. Lake Superior is nice. Yeah, it's a it's a wherever we went Michigan once had the most crystal-clear water. It was stunning Should be a good time. Lake Superior is nice. Yeah six days, I'm sure That'll be more than enough Six days and six days is a lot. How you could probably finish everything in Traverse City you would think pretty quick, right? pretty fucking quickly That's nice. I should have planned a vacation this break. I never do.

We're in Chicago. Like this is where people should go for summer vacation. Yeah, I'm gonna go to the beach I think tomorrow. You should, yeah. I don't know what beach to go to. I don't know where the good spot is. I don't wanna go to the good spot. I wanna go to the empty spot.

No, I wanna go to where the locals go. Oh yeah? Yeah, I don't wanna get, I don't want my Howley ass getting laughed at. Yeah, I don't wanna get caught cooing at him. Loc, yeah, then I don't I don't get left. I don't want my how Lee ass getting laughed at Locals only white man People treating Chicago like a surf Stay out of our waters how Lee these are fucking beach volleyball courts Do you like a ran out of my own gym pool These are our fucking beach volleyball courts.

I got ran out of my own gym pool. Explain I go to a very high status fitness center. It's more of a social center than we really does to Rudy goes to get his haircut there. That's not true. I know you do. I do. But first of all, it's a very is it as an exclusive club? No. Could I get in? But there's a tough, that was blatant. There's a thick air of exclusivity. Me and Rudy applied to Soho House and we had to submit our pictures.

Yeah, that's that's like the top. This is just like there's a pool deck with like bars that serve alcohol. It's restaurants like it's really nice in the summer. Everyone's emotionless. Everyone's an 80s baby with like a backwards hat at the pool. Too many backwards hats, too many guys who were too old to be that douchey. But what's the look? obnoxious are they like it's everyone's like aloe or like yeah, no colors

Which is like fine because everyone keeps it themselves, and I'm like no one's obnoxious, but something about it Just rubs me the wrong way is everybody too good-looking People are really good-looking yeah, you could tell like people, they're like guys who miss hazing. Oh yeah. But they can't do anything. It's like a bunch of Leo DiCaprio's that aren't famous. Oh right. Nightmare.

They're beasts without a purpose. They are, there's a lot of beasts. Nothing more dangerous than a purposeless beast. That's what I'm saying, they're gonna get so sad. Imagine being a beast and not having any championships. I'm trying to think of a more dangerous thing than a Beast a be a purposeless beast maybe maybe a curious thug Curious hug isn't purgatory Trying to even imagine one of those boys that never stepped off the stoop.

I would say Kevin Gates is a curious thug. He is, but I don't think he's dangerous. No, that was the old him. He's he's he's a good form of curious, but like a more thug than curious, but curious enough. Yeah. Mm hmm. To give him the title. I'm too scared to go to the pool. I've been texting Kyle.

I'm like, I got to go with you. I don't know where it is. OK, I actually physically don't just go up. Yeah, I know. But this place is just going to use an elevator. I don't know where the elevator is.

Anyways, I was like texting cause like I got to go with you and he's going and then immediately he's like, I just had to bounce. Kyle had to do the walk in. Wait, you walked in, walked out. Why was it was bad? I did a lap and Kyle had to do the walk in. Wait, you walked in, walked out. Why was it was as bad? I did a lap and you have to like go through doors.

Everyone watches you and I had to look for open chairs. There were none. We hold that. That's that sounds really normal. Yeah, well, I guess it was. That sounds so normal. I'm just so glad that you text me before that, said our dude's cannonballing in this pool. Or is it no one's doing

anything? There's a DJ playing hits, playing house music, and no one's having fun. And I'm part of it. So it's almost it's almost like this is a little slice of New York in Chicago, because in New York, you're not allowed to smile or wear color. It is like that except it's not cool if you're happy walking around. Like I remember I would put on a scowl to go outside. No one's smiling. You'd have to.

It's armor. But I would have been devastated if I like walked in and like I'm just holding my Kindle and I have to just turn around. Is anybody in like old like floral swim trunks or is it all? It's all a monochromatic Manicure bodies good bodies little a

Little more loving than New York what you mean people they do like to eat yeah and drink which is all that's what I like about Chicago Yeah, New York is grabbable Yeah, yeah hang on to mm-hmm hang on that is true that that is a very true statement I think right people in New York are Rail thin they eat ice chips. Yeah Rudy like mm-hmm I'm not calling you fat, but you're the have the most weight out of all of us on the show In fact if you went back to New York Rudy, like, I'm not calling you fat, but you have the most weight out of all of us on the show. If you went back to New York, quadruple takes,

how's this man alive? Yeah, they would be concerned. They would look for the fucking A&E cameras for like, what's this doc? Yeah. What's this? Who's? Did they just?

No disrespect, but you're like, has to be a documentary. Yeah. Yeah. This guy's in New York, this has to be to film a documentary. Yeah, this guy's in New York. This has to be to film a documentary. Yeah. The back in a true life coming back. How does he upkeep this? Yeah. Oh, look at New York is insanely skinny, insanely skinny, insanely skinny.

And then just, you know, there's a barstool office right in the middle of it. It is misplaced. Yeah, it changes the gravity of the surrounding area. It's it's yeah, it started sinking in the midtown. It's like an upside down cone. Oh, oh. You miss it. I miss it sometimes. I miss the spring. I think the spring is like in New York is like one of the greatest places on Earth.

Yeah, it's beautiful. Yeah, it's beautiful Yeah, it's an awesome city me and Kyle's favorite activity was just drinking alone on a patio in New York you and cut that doesn't Alone separately. Yeah, it's just the best drinking together separately Yeah, like you just sit on a patio and get a watermelon margarita and just watch I've had so many Like wordless hangs with Kyle. Mm-hmm. And we've really got, we grew tight. Yeah, that means I'm comfortable around you.

And if you're uncomfortable, that's when you're trying to talk? Yeah. I think that's the epitome of comfort is silent hangs. All right, boys, fastest break imaginable to talk about our best friends at Kraken. If you're going to trade crypto, do it right. No sketchy platforms, no sketchier consumer support.

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You can do it by heading over to cracking.com slash barstool This is not investment advice crypto trading involves risk of loss and has offered a US customers excluding Washington, New York and Maine through pay word interactive ink I Just got back from West, Virginia. Mm-hmm. We just opened up a bar. That's a gun range That's where I was and I bar that's a gun range. That's a lot of and I think it's called Gunt. It's called country. Yeah, it's called country.

It's a it's it's awesome. It's a bar slash shooting range, man. And I was I was looking at that can't be a good combo, right? It's like the top golfers shooting firearms willy-nilly. The axe throwing bar is finally on its way out.

I know, right? This is the next step. I don't even think, yeah, I guess they did, they serve booze at axe throwing. Oh yeah. I think so. Yeah, this is gonna be bumpin' with local talent. Meet me at the Gunt. I'm up at the Gunt.

I looked at the Facebook. With an AR. Yeah, no one put it together. Is that not common nomenclature that gunt means like. Like fat pussy area, is that what it means? Can you go to Urban Dictionary? I'll go if it doesn't. I thought that was Fupa. I thought Gunt was a synonym for Fupa.

Gunt could be a cunt got gone. It's awful. Oh, yeah. Maybe up at the Gunt,-hanging flab apron. Yeah, I thought that wasn't pretty Babe I'm up at the gut. I'm all up in the gun shooting blank Jaeger bombs and Ball a lot of different A lot of different bombs. Yeah, Jaeger bomb. You get a bomb and give you an M 80 that you can hurl.

You do a kamikaze and then a kamikaze. A lot of drinks are gun terms. Irish car bomb weapons, at least. Yeah, you know what I learned is that you really should not be saying Irish. Irish car bombs is like a pretty still to this day like yeah We we were talking to On pitch pick so a long time ago. We were talking to this old West Ham you guys had to cut it, right? We had to cut the Irish smokes asked the Irish guy if he does Irish car bombs

Well, we had no idea that that was like and that's like if they had a drink called the 9-eleven Yeah, no idea. We had no idea and there were two beer towers and yeah to plain pretzels Yeah, no idea you have to cover the box Yeah, really I need a Pearl Harbor so refreshing to beer towers and plain ways Go hard, that's like a pretty good combo Wait, two beer towers and plane wings. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would go hard. That's like a pretty good combo. That's a pretty good combo. Two beer towers.

Yeah. You guys ever been to a gun range? Yeah. Pretty fun. They're so fun. But I don't wanna be surrounded by drunk people. No. Yeah, I don't like guns. surrounded by drunk people. No. Yeah, I don't like guns.

That is the only correct take. I think everybody should feel pretty nervous around guns. If you're not, I think that's a red flag. I think they're too awesome. Oh. Like they're too powerful. Yeah. You could have one and be the scariest person on earth.

Right, it just eliminates everything. But I think that's like treating them like they're dangerous is the best thing to do. Right, like I... If you wanna get destroyed on Twitter, post a picture of you holding the gun. They'll find something wrong. Yeah, they're...

Triggered as a point terrible. Yes. Yeah, they love talking about that stuff. Are you wearing an acne patch? Yeah a pimple go off King my Cute thanks, man Is it must be it hurts really bad corner of my nose? Yeah, it's a bad so the sensitive area Yeah, so I put a patch on it. I had a I get them

I just I had a mere splatter one this morning felt so good. Those are the best Almost where you don't get pimples. I don't really get pimples. Yes, you don't I see you wiping your face with an oilcloth How you've never been more than five feet away from an oilcloth? Yeah, I'm on deck there. I'm oily. It's not pimply Doesn't oily become pimply. I don't really get pimples Damn from 32. I am 33 and I get them me too. Maybe one one in a blue moon Yeah, but you'll get you'll get other things Yeah, you get butthole pimples you you're that lip bump. Oh, yeah non-sexual herpes outbreaks Timmy it's a virus, yeah.

Not, yeah, it's like youth herpes. Yeah, you got it when you were like really young. Yeah, and all it took was, I contracted it from. You got it from Matt. My boys wrestling teammates face skin. That's all it was. I wasn't having disgusting sex. Yeah, you're right.

And like, I guess you getting it so young, like you got herpes when you were a virgin, right? No, but it could be rounded to that. You can round down. You can definitely not count the body or two that was on my... Yeah, I remember I was like I wanted to talk to Casey rocket about it cuz I know he had a He was a D. D XM guy

What's D XM? That's like? recreational Cough syrup abuse I think oh, okay. Yes Robo and it can be like oh wait Robitussin or Vicks. I think Robitussin was his vikes vice. They can fix oh they be like Psychedelically intense like just like acid yeah, yeah when you're robo tripping. It's crazy. Wait. Do you guys see the new Nyquil? That's out. It's just straight up called pain quill Unless I got gut, but I don't think I did.

Pain quill, yeah dude, I did sip in on that at the bar. That'd be hard, yeah. And that's just a drink to make all the pain go away. And that's what I was doing when I had herpes, I was abusing like Benadryl and NyQuil. And it was kind of a vibe. I just turned into like, I had, it felt like I had cerebral palsy and herpes.

That is a vibe. They call that the Jordan Belfort. That is a vibe. But like you were a warrior and that was something for you to overcome. Imagine if you were just had all this anger and aggression and a good body and in shape and you didn't have something to battle.

I could have won. Thank God for herpes. I could have won without herpes. Your's was under your hair though, right? I had three outbreaks, three plus outbreaks, three grand outbreaks, maybe some minor ones. Three grand, 3000 outbreaks. Two in the mouth. Three grand, 3,000 outbreaks? Two in the mouth, one on the scalp, one on the neck.

God damn. Yeah. When was your last outbreak? It's been over a decade. Is it, so, but do you feel like there's- Every time I get like an itchy mouth, feel a little like sting, I get, it's full blown trauma. It would be good for us. Fireworks.

Like, uh. Yeah, it's funny. It is. You couldn't go back to your upscale gym. Oh my God. Covered it with a skull full of herpes. My bad, we have a bathroom attendant. I don't want to get like accusatory because he's a good guy.

So I'll just say he's really good at cleaning the showers. What? What do you mean accusatory? I don't want to say anything that like, I think he's just good at it. He's too good at his job of cleaning the showers. Why they're that spotless? He's always like popping into one,

one of the open ones before you can get in. And then occasionally he'll open the door on you you you got walked in on by the yeah to clean it Do you hear the water running trying to clean? Yeah, I don't know. He's too good at his job of cleaning back So did you get walked it? Did he see you're naked? It's all my ass. I'd assume unless he was looking up. I Had a I had a guy come up and say hi to me and It was like was a fan and when I was winning the pooing. Oh, no And the funny thing is it didn't really actually bother me because of hockey like I don't care about Being naked and like I was like I should say something about this because it's weird

but then I was like if a fan sees my regular white dick and He's a white dude with a regular white dick dick What effect does that have on the world? Unless you unless he's like that's a really small dick. Yes, pretty big fan small dick Hey brother small penis Dated like a few seconds or whatever, but I was like whatever. Yeah, he was a nice guy But I was winning I was winning the poohing which isn't a flattering position for a penis I mean, I don't really have many flattering angles, but come on. Yeah, I did I did come through the airport yesterday He was like yo barstool, and I was like that's me. He was like

Keep up the Pokemon shit. I was like oh no he said keep up the Pikachu shit Yeah, and he was like way too cool to like he didn't know who I was or what I did I so I think you just looked it up. It was the most recent thing part of my take. I was in a Pikachu So he maybe he thinks I'm always in that You know keep up the Pikachu shit, I love that Pikachu shit you're doing a bar stool Thanks, man. Thank you so much Yeah I'm back on Pokemon Go and spending hundreds of dollars for egg incubators. Wait,

what can you possibly buy? I'm buying egg incubators for my eggs so I can churn them out faster, but they're only you can use them three times. And then I'm paying for remote raid passes so I can join my homies across the globe. That's what you're buying? Yeah, dude. I'm trying to get a Tinka ton, but that's not as for here nor there. Oh my God. Yeah, that's that's a lot. A lot of a lot of my paychecks are going to that and dog training and piss spray. And I'm sitting here.

I think I smell like piss. I think my dog pissed on my pants. Oh, that's like that. That's like the prank we thought of that one time. The best prank pissing somebody else's pants, someone else's pissed on my pants. Oh, that's like the prank we thought of that one time. The best prank. Pissing somebody else's pants. Pissing someone else's pants. Pissing on their pants.

Pissing someone's pants. Yeah, I think I'm covered in piss right now. Holding them down and peeing on their pants. I need to get out of here. No, it's in your head. You think so? Did your dog piss on you? Yeah, probably.

Is that a thing that you have to just accept? Rudy's getting a dog today. That's right, yeah. Congratulations to Rudy. I Rudy's getting a dog today? That's right. Yeah To Rudy I am what you say congratulations to thank you. Yeah, I'm getting a dog today It's funny though Nick. I was with Nick meeting Ernesto and then He's got like a six cents. He was like just being playful. It was really nice and then all sudden he goes He's warming up. He's about to pee. He's about to pee. Yeah, and then you know it. Yep pissed Yeah, he's got like a six cents for it, but he'll just be like, it's it's it's easy to see. He'll be playing with you and he'll walk over to the fireplace and just he gave a look.

He was like, I'm gonna. Yeah, he knows it's. Yeah. Yeah. What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it? I say I'm about to piss on your floor. I'm about to. Yeah, you're going to clean it up. Oh, yeah. You don't run shit. Yeah, you gonna clean it up. Oh yeah. Your dog run shit though, like your dog's at another dog. My dog's at boot camp and it's like, it's training him to like be good with other dogs and the trainer just sent pictures of him tormenting it.

What's up, teacher lady? Much bigger dogs. Your dog's at a men's retreat right now. Yeah, no he. It's going off. My dog like, my dog went up to like the trainer He's like we're not gonna learn anything from these packets man You're handing out you gotta teach us you gotta talk to us. We're not gonna learn anything from

The packet I love I kind of want to go as him for Halloween. I like that I also love any video of someone giving like a profound speech, but they're like 90% The link was already purple we talked about this kid all the time. Yeah, we have yeah We have when someone gives a speech, and then they're slowly still backing away These packets He just face to face well That kid wasn't passing class packet or not that's actually too hollow as people don't realize that who was that

He's a musician that I know You didn't know DJ Sammy I didn't DJ Sammy I didn't Because you did a mini puzzle the same length as DJ Sammy's heaven. Yeah, you told me that Wasn't aware. Yeah, it was a long time to do a mini crossword though over four minutes. Yeah What happened to you dude, I'm losing it. Yeah, I had such a bad year intellectually Yeah, yeah Did you uh?

You'll be back. What do you think you need to do? I need to start learning again. I gave up learning I got too comfortable so now you got too comfortable. Yeah, I was like did you stop learning or did you start forgetting? I stopped doing things that would give me new information Really, right? What's the last thing you've learned now? I'm back on learning. Okay, I've been coming in here at like 8 a.m. And memorizing cities Is that learning I? Guess not I've been like it was really depressing whenever we have we've been having a lot of pop culture conversations that I can't participate in

It's like why the fuck don't I know any of this? Even movies I've seen, it's like, I must have watched it and then immediately forgot about everything I saw. Avatar syndrome, that's what people do when they watch Avatar. That's everything I've ever seen. Nobody remembers it. I can't tell you about, like the last movie I've seen was like The Challengers and I can't tell,

I remember Zendaya and tennis, but that's it. I've never seen it and I could have said that exactly. I'm trying to think, I can't remember one other scene I remember maybe like kissing and I don't know like a There are bad direction in that movie there a bone bone like a boxer covered erection. She bats it away I'm not the guy to ask I'm so jealous of dudes that can recite like good movie quotes.

People pull. Why? Because in conversation, it crushes. Yeah, it does crush. It's just ripping like miracle quotes left and right. And I can't do that. I don't know. I actually don't have you that. Oh, I used to be a big in middle school. That was the quote. I was the trade. That was the coolest thing you could do in middle school was recite the hangover. You didn't have to be funny. You just had to be Remember dude they were like borat quote vendors like you would pay him a little bit. He would give you a quote to say I remember it was like some by the lockers. He was like you come over here

Yeah, you had to give him a crystal light packet. Yeah, it was chilling. Oh, great chilling. We give yeah He had some deep cuts. Yeah, even it's some shit that I got would do directors cut quotes Yeah, you do like a bogo sale and give you a couple Sprint. Oh, yeah, it's sprinkling some Bruno. That was very nice Dude, I was uh, I was at a wedding this weekend was beautiful wedding one of the songs that DJ played was a You're beautiful by James Blunt and It's funny that he sings like the old boxing announcers

No, he does he does I saw her on the subway She was with another man He's singing transatlantic beautiful. Yeah, it's true Let's do that. Yeah, this is like that all right. That's a hit Was a hit you a dance guy at a wedding I was this one. Oh what? You were in the wedding party did you do an entrance That's my worst nightmare of all time and we had to you had to they switched it on us last year We're gonna walk out as a group

because the wedding was the same location as the reception, which is a great idea. Like a three and a half minute service, amazing. I'm with it. And then reception right there. And they're like, hey, let's go in individually. So I was like, let's walk out, stand in the middle, and everybody, like, you know,

get everybody anticipation up, and we just shake hands. Because everybody else was doing, everybody else was doing the, somebody else claimed the beer chug, somebody claimed the fucking snap, football snap the bouquet. And I was like, that's all the good ones. That's all the good ones. Those are the greats.

Leap frog. Leap frog was done right before me. Fuck. Drats. I've been keeping an ongoing list of things that are categorically different, but very similar to wedding entrances tell That's a strange coincidence. Yeah, that's how nice that this conversation went in that direction

What do you have you could agree or disagree the laughing emoji um Half agree top golf same yes yep backflips Agree or disagree? The laughing emoji. Um, half agree. Top golf. Same. Yes. Yep. Back flips. Half agree. Charlotte, North Carolina. Agree. French fries. Uh, waffle. Yeah. Instagram comments. Oh, my God. Yes. Skittles. This is you can really think about it. I would say mini M&Ms more.

Okay. Digital camo polos. Yeah. Yeah. Post Malone radio on Spotify. Yes. Wallets that could be described as slick. Those actually, if I watched a video of a wedding entrance and a slick wallet vid or just a photo, I could not tell them apart.

Which one's the wedding entrance, which one's the slick wallet vid? Yeah. Turf the surface Really explain it not necessarily for football purposes. Okay, then yes. Yes, Austin the name and the city whoa Um I would say more the city really yeah Yeah, that that's post Malone's name and oh yeah, he's from even think about that. No. He's from Dallas the Dallas Fort Worth Metroplex The wedding entrance of a city mm-hmm higher-end seafood chains Not red lobster, but like what?

Tommy Bahama, that's a shirt Yeah, you don't know In it or with it on. You've never eaten in a ta- Must've wore a ta- okay. Did you wear a Tommy Bahama to like a- Legal seafood. Yes, yes.

Spike ball. Yes. Big time. Recreational fire. Oh yeah. Dude. I don't know what, seeing somebody roll up to like an outdoor event with a spike ball box is like, I got to get the fuck out of there.

I wish I liked doing stuff like that, but I would just only bring it down. But like it's to that point where you're at an age where people just won't be outright mean to you. So you'll do the bare bones like I'll touch the ball, but still miss the fucking net They'll be like yes, you're getting it. Don't do that to me say I saw just get the fuck off dude. I need normal Right don't pretend. I'm good. I'm yeah the lowest point of my life is when I did the bar stool goalie challenge and

the they shot every single puck into my chest and then I needed to stop one more and they thought I did a stick save as I was falling but it just hit the bar above it and then everybody piled on top of me like I was okay how do you think I am the NHL people they're like we want to tell the story of Nick and his miraculous yeah the man simulations but like it that one it was just I knew I really feel that it was it should not have been easy I shouldn't stop one You did surprisingly good. I'm not he hit him all into my chest and then they man piled me

How much how many how many dudes you would die for it to have that opportunity as a grown adult? I wish I could have just masked it a little bit I was like, yeah, I'm natural goalie. That's like just tell me when I'm bad that's why I avoid like shit like that at like bachelor parties like Yeah, I we played we played beer pong at the at the reception and I like hit the cup. They were like, ooh! Close!

You're right there. Good stroke! That was online! Okay, okay. Stop it, man. You're finding it. I'm not good at things. Tell me.

Tell me. That's all I want. If you don't like Spikeball, you would've hated University of Denver. Oh my God. I would've thought that was a frisbee turf area That's maybe maybe I think frisbee was more like the generation prior. Okay, we adopted spike ball But you guys don't do like not traditional frisbees like frisbees without the center just yeah, I can hurl four miles Yeah, those things are fucking awesome

Yeah, people in Colorado have those hats with way too many panels Yeah, the five panel. Yeah, dude the five panel you're in Colorado with a combination with odd future I mean it was like crap Yeah, those Denver that you go there and you get panels on your hat man $329 for that at yeah Kyle That hat sucks It does in every way. That's the worst hat you think so It's almost a good hat which makes it worse because if that was a regular shaped hat

I'd rather just be a just straight obnoxious. It's a CDL. What is that? That is a that a street wear company wait wait the quantities for 50 oh It's 329 for 50 it's a good bachelor party gift 55 panel hats that's a burden that's so many panels That's critical yeah, but that ran through Colorado the white community in Colorado the five panel in combination of odd future It was just I don't even know where to purchase clothing like that to like in like that brick and mortar No idea. I don't need on this point. I don't know. I think it's all I think it's siloed I also never understand what shoes are cool because I went into a discount shoe warehouse

Is that what it's called or designer shoe warehouse and I liked every pair these are fine You're Kyle. You're really you've been spending on kicks Yeah, I feel like I finally have my own taste like I I like what I like and don't like what I don't like That's used to not I used to just get what was popular. Okay, now I do the same But yeah, the old guy would like salivating for the Pepto Bismol five panel that's used to not. I used to just get what was popular. Okay. Now I do the same, but I'm sure I like it. Yeah, the old Kyle would have been salivating for the Pepto Bismol five panel.

That's... Find me one man that could pull that off. So did you think that when you were doing your Fila era, was that because you legitimately liked it or because you're like, this is what's in? Kyle, Fila Kyle was... Well, I was shopping for brands. I wanted the Logomania. F-I-L- brands. I wanted the logo mania if I had one at the

The brand that was already respected Liked and popular I wanted that on my chest all over You I didn't care about how I that was well you don't realize that was the Eastern European in you Oh, yeah, you have to mean it one brand jumpsuit. Yeah every day you were feel ahead to toe fell for that hard You gave me a feeler key chain. You had key chains to give out. You had enough key chains to hand out. I had the monthly subscription box. You had the feeler month. Like feeler China once. Like feeler plates.

Feeler plates. Break out the feeler tonight. Oh my God. Yeah, dude. You had you had some unique feeler everything he subscribed to feel a TV. Oh yeah. You were streaming like feeler shows. You had the feeler streaming service. The feeler app. What What you guys don't have the feeler They have exclusive rights you did their park boys you did look cool in it you did not really It was kind of you look you would have looked cool But I think it was when you were boozing really heavy because Ken Jack has a puffy photo You're gonna feel a jumpsuit, and I think you're standing like this. don't know if it's altered though. Now. How's puffy narrow shoulders puffy? What's next what's your body gonna look like five years from now I?

plateaued hard That's why I like respect these Like shredded beasts so much like I know what they're doing to get there And they're there they're putting themselves through hell every day, and they're so disciplined and no one cares Are you lumping yourself into this group no I'm saying like I sounds like you're pretty sad I'm a step below them steps below them, and I work out pretty hard so It's sad because I have nothing aspirationally to like to get excited about

You you I could sacrifice a fun diet, which is like so like Important to quality of life is being able to have good meals After sacrifice that I would have to sacrifice I have to sacrifice that, I would have to sacrifice... What else do I do? Booze? I think that's our biggest, like, we're two sides, we're two opposite sides of this.

You're a man who wants more challenges, I'm a man who wants less. I don't know if I want more challenges, I want things to be easier. Yeah? But you, do you want distraction? Yeah. But you do you want you want distraction. Yeah. And you don't want your distract.

Do you want your distractions to be easy tasks. Or something you have to work for. I don't know. I won't do something if I'm not instantly decent at it. And I think that's bad. Well that's me too.

Really. That's why I don't golf. But when you started working out were you good at working out? Good enough because I'm like naturally strong. Yeah. And you put a sport. You believe them. Yeah, it's true. Like I can always do push up. So, yeah, if it was harder, I would like I'm not going to get into rock climbing.

Kudos to anybody who can pick some water, suck for years until they get good. That says a lot about a person That's a thank you. Thank you Dude I don't know how you're not better at video games I Know right? Yeah, I Almost exclusively do things on bad at like Luke you said your first few comedy sets were bombs I still still eat ass, but I'm getting better Yeah, the first year of stand-up is just awful

Yeah, I think you're good. Then you're you like Listen back and you're like, oh nobody is laughing. Yeah You hear like one laugh. You're like I was crushing last night That's what sucks about stand-up is like you can master your set master the delivery And have it crushed to a certain subset of people then also have that same thing bomb how much of stand-up is in your control? Percentage I mean the best the best kit still bomb, but yeah, but I've done two shows Same night same set one crush and one just fall flat. Yeah That can be maddening

And it's just why yeah, there's so many different factors it could be you could be the crowd it could be whatever so do you think there's crowds that would could look genuinely let's laugh at anything yes there's crowds that could laugh at anything and there's crowds that like you have to fucking get up there and sweat and work your dick off to get like a mediocre pop that sucks because as an audience member like if no one's laughing are you gonna be the one guy who laughs even if you find it funny That's what it becomes a social dilemma. Yeah, you'll do that I good man, I guilty I can't I and I always feel like they're looking right at me

Yeah, see you I always will give a laugh. I can stifle a laugh easy even if I think something's fucking hilarious Really? So do you try not to? Yeah, I'll like go to I'll be at a show and and all the comics in the back will pick out one guy and be like he's leading the pack right now. Fuck you. Really? Yeah. There's like an alpha crowd member. Alpha laffer. That's a good. That's a good member to society. That's why laugh tracks work on television. Yeah, friends. Not Seinfeld. So many right now now I think about friends is funny but they

add laugh tracks wrong I think friends is funny I'll fuck it if you watch friends without a laugh track I guarantee it wouldn't be as funny laugh tracks part of it I I think friends is funny we should add a laugh track to the show we need it every Barstool show now it's laugh tracks that's a matter of time.

Dude, what happened to the thumbnails at Barstool Sports? Whenever I'm in one, it's just not it's just a little off. Little uncanny. We're beastifying them. Oh, yeah. They've gone. They've gone to the professional level. Like go to us at. Yeah, there I am right there. But like us doing the intern interviews. I think they just gave me different eyeballs.

Yeah, let me see. There I am top right. Oh, where's me? Those are not your eyes. No, they gave me different eyeballs. They're tweaking. That is weird, yeah. I don't have sleepy time eyes like that, do I?

No, those aren't your eyes. No, no. I put Davidson's on it. Those aren't my eyes either. Yeah, I don't have sleepy time eyes like that. Do I know those aren't your eyes? No, no, David sins on those aren't my eyes. Yeah, they gave me no that's there's no me in that no, that's Yeah, I guess it was either you or hoopify. Yeah, right Whoopies bigger than pft there? Everything about hoopify is large in that his hair How many years his teeth we've been adding like in Photoshop feminist Photoshop the the plastic filter effect. It's just It's interesting. Yeah the cartoon for the clicks the fucking clicks It'll revert back. That's our currency

It'll revert back eventually yeah, mm-hmm. Yeah, it's like how like how does like besides Jimmy Beast, who who who's a big YouTuber? Are they doing thumbnails like like Beast? Some do the opposite. Like Moist Critical just has like the most butt cheek thumbnails and it's yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. The scratching chin. Yeah. But uh, they scratching chin. Yeah, but

They're crazy. Did you see his new thing? Who mr. Beast? No, what's he doing? He started a new business that is an AI thumbnail generator for $80 a month And basically you can like give it a prompt and it'll make a YouTube. It'll just beastify it with AI. It's so ass It's actually we're so fucking ass. It's like the worst thing I can think of on Earth. It's, that's not, no it's not. I fucking hate it. It's not the worst thing you can think of. But didn't Mr. Beast's new thing, like, he was like, he got, he had to break the news of a death

to the guy that he had trapped in a gym. That was sad. He was, I bet you he was very excited to deliver that news. So he has men trapped at any given moment. I think most cities will have a room with a guy stuck in there for Mr. Beast. Most major cities in the US will have one man in a room for Beast.

For Beast. Yeah. He has people everywhere just stuck in a room. Yeah, I think most places. Or on a plane or in a basement. He probably has ones that are just for him. Yeah, I think so not even for videos He got a did he redo his face surgically you got new teeth did he mm-hmm looks good

Maybe cares that much about the algorithmic differences and aesthetics of thumbnails that he probably is gonna start changing his his appearance yeah Mr.. Beast just Took the idea of Squid Game, which was meant to be like this evil thing, and he made it real. Yes, he did. He was like, this is awesome. He understood he missed the biggest of points. And he's like, I'm going to make it my own. Call it Beast Games and get more views than the actual squid game.

Yeah, he missed. It's like guys who pretend to be Patrick Bateman Huey Lewis is good. Yeah, the serial killer is pretty cool. I like his skin. I want to kill Jared Leto Fuck yeah Fuck yeah You're brother you ain't far off. Yeah, what perfect skin oily I work out. I can do push-ups every morning Yeah, that's not me. You might be a little bateman. You might be a little bit No social you're talking about all the other men in the world and how they're bored, but you're somehow different Kyle you're kind of getting close Yeah, I'm not it's not I'm talking about I'm talking about the whack guys. Oh the whack guys. Oh yeah my mistake my mistake. I'm the nicest

dude in the world. This beast has a purpose. That's true you know so you don't want to say but you got me a very nice pen for my birthday. It's not that nice it's a very nice nice I want I was in a silk case it's really cool this is not a nice pen with an inkwell I don't know it's a brand I don't know nice to do you are god damn look at the nib yeah I got you that it's all me from

me thank you very much you and thank you to the yak for the very very kind belated birthday post It's okay, that's yeah, that's rough you treat yourself to anything yeah, what'd you get I bought myself a blastoise What does that mean the card? Yeah, like rare. Yeah, yeah. Like rare? Yeah. Nice, dude. Holographic. Yeah, got it. Not in English.

No, it's in English. Borderless. Interesting. Shadowless. Shadowless, sorry. Shadowless first. What can you do? I had to do it.

Cornerstone piece. It's something I can build upon. It's a foundation of the collection. Foundation. Yeah. It felt so good scanning that into my Rare Candy app. Oh, yeah. Rare Candy app? Yeah. that's why I love my shit

It's got a portfolio. Yeah. Yeah, I do. All right life that I think you I feel like you got a little more in that notes out. I saw you all going it No that died naturally, Okay. All right. All right. Just dude in the world. Me and Mook and me, Mook and Kate are at Zany's Wednesday. Right. Check them out.

Oh, this will be roll through. We were at yesterday. We put this out tomorrow, maybe or Wednesday. Yeah, if you want. I was there giving real and sympathy laughs. Yeah. How'd we do? You're great.

Crushed. Yeah. Luke was in his patented outfit. Eagle shirt shorts. They're like, oh, is this a day camp kid who got lost? Yeah, it's professional comedians. Me up there going freak mode. Yeah. A comedian can't be dressed cool. That's that's no.

You got to be in the dark Indies. The dark Indigo's with the sake one. Mookie and the Indigo's with the Shurz the sure see yeah this guy With the faded sure see who's this Renaissance? Oh? Yeah, you were but you weren't being a you weren't being a dick to that guy that fan that came up to you No, but I didn't I botched the interaction for sure

Yeah, he came in a little bit too hot you got he's got to understand like you're at you're at the club You're cooked you're chasing tails like you're typically the nicest dude in the world Oh, I was just full. Why are you giving everybody nicest dude in the world titles? I? Just watched a clip of some guy describing G easy is the nicest dude in the world Serial cheater it had to be it had to be Benny Blanco it was um What's his name the Bradley Martin was interviewing some dude on the podcast and he got real vulnerable He was like geez he was actually a huge dick to me at the club one time.

And it pans to like the douchiest looking 40 year old dude of all time. And he's like, nah, G-Eazy's the nicest dude in the world. You gotta understand, man. When these guys are at the club, they're chasing tail, they're cooked. Nah, G-Eazy's nicest dude in the world. Raleigh Martin just like, okay.

Oh shit, alright. You're gonna die. I'm actually the nicest dude in the world, but when I'm chasing tail. Except when I'm chasing stone. You have to understand that. Yeah, he was being a dick, but you gotta understand, dude. He was chasing tail, he was cooked. Wait, I need to find, I need to hear this. Why were you watching this? This tan dude came on my algorithm

with like a cutoff shirt, a chain, camo pants. Were the comments like making fun of it? Not enough. GE. Any of these look familiar. Was it Bradley Martin? It was Bradley Martin, G-Eazy. They don't have much traction.

So that guy. He was a dickhead to me. I'll never forget it. I went there once. I'm going to say it was that G-Eazy was such a f***ing way. He's a nice guy. He's probably just coke. Yeah, well, yeah, maybe, maybe, maybe. Because, you know, also, too, it's like I think I went up to him because, like, you know, he was like a Bay Area artist because I was from the Bay and I was like, oh, I'm from the Bay, it's sick.

Congrats. And I think he was just like, oh, he just gave me one of those. Now, you got to remember, dude, these guys are at the club. They're just they're chasing tail. They're cooked. You know, like he's a nice guy. You know, he's got he's got his fair share of partying like we all do. But that was just my one interaction at that club specifically where I was like, what the fuck? I was just trying to be nice to this guy. Yeah, yeah. Nah, he's a good guy. He's always a good friend of me and Yeah

Everyone kind of was had a bad thing I've had I've had bad interactions certain celebrities and then the second or third time around they're like, oh man I was just fried or Perfect. I was just fighting my girl Perfect. I was just fighting my girl Fight my girl you caught me at a really bad time. Oh, that's so fucking funny That's the kind of shit. I got to be doing what that kind of podcasting. Yeah You just need to defend every really bad guy Yeah, the degree of separation between this guy and you Rudy is not in the ball pot

Defending a guy cuz he was angry at a party Of course, he's not gonna be nice at a party. You don't get it It's like that nice guy he was overcooked man, you don't get like in that environment You got to run into a meta farmers market. Yeah, where where would G easy be nicer? If you saw him if you saw him at the DMV, he would have been an angel. His excuse was like, I'm his good friend. He's always nice to me.

Yeah. Yeah, he can't be mean to you. Like, I'm a personal friend. Anyone who has to be described as nice is always just the worst. Not every guy is nice. Dude, my least favorite is like, he's an asshole, but at least he's self-aware.

That's worse. That makes it worse. Way worse. Yeah, I know I'm an asshole. I'm not changing. People tell me all the time. What'd you get to know him? He's super nice.

He just doesn't do that pleasantry shit. I'm that lovable asshole. Fuck you. So I'd just like to apologize so that Anus fans gonna be at the show Wednesday. I was just drunk and horny and didn't wanna talk. Chase and Tao, you're good. Listen, I'm Chase and Tao and I, what more what are you expecting from me?

You know, I'm a fucking monster when I'm drunk I'm gonna say hi to you. Do not matter party with this music I love playing and I'm drunk and there's hot women around you want me to be nice Want me to be cordial right now? Are you fucking kidding me? There was a really big girl across the bar. Oh my god You were in my fucking way, dude. Oh, dude. I was just nuked man. You know how it goes Dude, no the alcohol was flowing the music was going crazy. I was in a cool fit. I I'm not gonna be nice I was having a good time and you fucking ruined me And for you to come up and say you're a big fan fuck you fuck off dickhead

Now at this place yeah in my jeans I'm wearing fucking jeans when you paid were you paid to see me yeah Fuck Jesus Christ now. He's like nicest good fine Kyle. Yeah, all right Cool new untold story have a good 4th of July happy for that's it. That's it