A New Untold Story - Mook Appreciation Day - A New Untold Story: Ep. 367

Episode Date: October 26, 2023

perth and barstool kush mod applications. *producer note: the new studio is coming along, hopefully we are in there in a week or so. The freecam will be back when we get in there and I will also be better on the switchboard. god bless, love the brg's, and perth mf. * Ads: Gametime - Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code UNTOLD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). Body Armor - Available in stores nationwide but you can head on over to the BODYARMOR Store on Amazon at https://barstool.link/BODYARMOR & get yours today! HelloFresh - Go to https://HelloFresh.com/50anus and use code 50anus for 50% off plus free shipping!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, a new untold story listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad-free on Amazon Music. All right. We good? Yeah, clap whenever. All right. Chillin'.

That's your reply to what I'm going to say. No, you're just going to say, like, no, that's a new untold story. Hey, is that story old or told? No, baby. That's a new untold story! A new untold story! It's a fresh, big untold story! A new untold story!

a new untold story episode 342 i know it's not that but even i don't know 367 yeah we are over a year day wise what is it maybe eight doesn't matter at all in the slightest bit, actually. Run with this. Yeah. The one rule for using the studio is we had to use their logo. Yeah. You against that? No, I love it. All right.

What are you doing? The mics are finally good. Yeah, they're great. Today's episode, guys and girls, is brought to you by 3C three chi how apt for a guy like me uh is that the first app is that the first uh yes sir cool three chi of all the things in life one of the best has to be getting high wherever you want whenever you want without the paranoia of consuming some sketchy black market booth best way to do that is with three chi of course it's the highest quality highest quality cannabis products

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No, but I thought it was implied. I feel like if euphoria is on the table. You try it. That's just something you can have. You try it. You can't just skip you if euphoria is on the table you try that's just something you can have you try it you can't just skip out on euphoria so there you go so apparently on the game boy pokemon trading card game if you move your cursor to the bottom left and hit down and a when it's right out of frame bottom left it exits the battle and counts it as a win so speed runs of the game have gone from 42 minutes to three minutes and 45 seconds cheating though speed run is exposing glitches

everybody in the community is yeah but it's pretty crazy that was like just discovered and you could use that to it went from 45 to three minutes something well yeah cuz there's a cheat code it's not a cheat code if you do what you this counts as that's worse in the community in the community you're allowed to use glitches these three-minute speedrunners are they being heralded they're worshipped as gods because they click the button to cheat they use everything frame by frame perfect so it still takes skill but yeah but you get to cheat yeah okay you got to check it out i'll send you the link i watched yeah bottom left cursor down a it's it's a it's a feat of it's a it's a technological feat once you start watching speedrunners you'll never go back they're the

best it's it's an interesting world. It's like watching a computer try to figure out a computer. It's awesome. Yeah, it really is. That's pretty appropriate. Yeah. What else we got going on? I'm feeling good about today.

Yeah. I'm not going to, don't have anything in plan to do anything about that. But we've, I don't know. I mean, we're in a new office. We're in a brand new office vibes are high um i don't want to toot our own horn we've been grinding hard some harder than others mookie yeah mookie yeah you've been doing you've been so much for been doing so much for us. You've been doing so much for us.

You've been working late. You've been grinding stand-up. You moved cities for us, man. Oh, wait. I forgot to switch the cam. Sorry. I'm botching back here. As we're doing this.

This new setup is fucking me up. This is insane. This is insane. Yeah, you're learning all new tech. You moved across the country on a whim. We got you fired from your job. Yeah. Yeah, you did.

And I'm pretty happy about it. I'm happy to be here. I would rather grind for you guys than grind for Price Waterhouse Coopers and fucking kill myself in two years. Listen, man, we're happy you're here too. And today is MOOC Appreciation Day. It sure is. MOOC Appreciation Day. MOOC, can you turn the airdrop on on your phone?

Jesus Christ. Is this real yeah mook appreciation day watch him fuck up cutting the cameras i'm going to i'd be you got to get this on camera you got to really really make sure this is right it's mook appreciation day everyone okay airdrop is mook don't fuck up mook appreciation imagine if he did we'd have to revoke it all right your airdrop is on mook yeah i'm airdropping you something and you need to say what it is okay i'm scared i don't like it i don't do well with appreciation what the fuck is this is this chicago to la march 7th 2024 what yeah that makes sense yeah okay four hours okay what is that chicago to la march 7th what are you looking at i'm looking at a flight confirmation

that's right my friend yes that's right my friend and where's it going los angeles sunny california and what are you going to be doing there i'm airdropping you something oh jesus i'm scared i'm fucking up the cameras too what will you be doing in sunny sunny cal? Okay, I got the second airdrop. You'll be doing nothing. What, you're sending me to Australia? Yes, sir. No, no, no, Mook. Because once you get to...

Where is that going? Los Angeles to Melbourne? But once you get to Melbourne, Mook, why don't you open up your airdrop? This isn't real. Perth? We're sending you to perth beautiful appreciation day we're sending you to perth in march all right i'm down a free vacation now we appreciate you've earned a weekend off so you're doing a weekend in perth uh-huh what is perth that's the fourth biggest city in australia oh that's western australia

western australia on the coast it'll be beautiful in march is this real always yeah yeah we're sending you to perth you get a you get a weekend in perth get a weekend pretty much what is it's almost a weekend it's almost a weekend you got a day and a half in perth mook now granted it will be 33 hours to get there and back and back we do have your. You got a day and a half in Perth, Mook. Now granted, it will be 33 hours to get there. And back. And back. We do have your return flights. About two and a half days in the air, but you get one and a half day in Perth. In beautiful, beautiful Perth, Mook.

And Kyle, do we have anything else from it? Uh, Reed, there's a present outside this door. What is happening right now? We're sending you to Perth! I thank you for appreciating me. A weekend in Perth, Mook. Who knew? Paradise was only 11,000 miles away.

And I got you some gifts. Mook Appreciation Day? Mook Appreciation Day. Thank you, guys. I'm going to Perth. I don't think you quite understand. Yeah. I know.

It'll be many, many hours in the air you're flying malaysian airlines the one that yes that one i'm gonna fucking disappear wait okay so four hours to la yeah then i get on a connecting to melbourne 15 hours and 55 minutes so that's 20 hours in the air. Oh, and Melbourne is far from Perth. Yes, it is. It's deceiving. Melbourne to Perth is four hours and five minutes. And I land there March 9th. That's right.

That's right. And I'll send you your return flight info right now. Okay. I'm going to Perth. You're going to Perth, baby. You are. Going to fucking Perth. And then there's your

airdrop there to go back and then okay so I get in to Perth at March 9th at 105 and then I depart

back this is insane this is insane okay I get in at 105pm on March 9th I leave march 11th at 11 45 p.m take a three and a half hour flight to melbourne that's right get in at 6 20 a.m somehow melbourne to la 10 30 a.m to 6 45.m. 14 hours. About 60 plus hours.

About 60 plus hours in the air. You're earning your wings, man. We're getting you some miles. Okay. I'm down. Thanks for appreciating me. Yeah, man. Open up your gift.

A gift? I got a gift. Yeah, man. I'm not good at being appreciated. You're doing great. you kind of shouldn't be no man look at that what's it say yeah

now granted it probably will be about 85 maybe about 85 degrees but I mean that you know it will be fall though I looked it up it will be fall you're switching seasons southern hemisphere peace love and fall though. I looked it up. It will be fall. You're switching seasons. Southern Hemisphere. Peace, love,

and Perth. Peace, love, and Perth, man. Now granted, I mean you'll be in the desert. Perth is the desert? Oh, Western Australia is very arid. What's that one, Mook? This one's sick.

Aussie! arid what's that one moog this one's sick awesome oh but you asked so people will know people will know you're both then just australia yeah yeah this is oh it's just australia is there a card in there is there a card at the bottom connor says remember when i was like hey white socks dave wants to do a video in canada do you have your passport and you're like yeah i was like we that wasn't a thing we're we're planning to send you you've been planning yeah we're planning to send you to perth now all right here's the card you are amazing yeah man you are You do so much for us. Okay, that's fine, probably. Okay. Got it on the camera.

That's good. And then it says... What is that? Why don't you read it? I love a good Kyle drawing. Yeah, that was freehand, by the way. It says, for your holiday in Perth. Can we say that, Rita Della?

For your holiday in Perth, please enjoy a free stay at the Holiday Inn Perth City Center. Yeah. For two nights and then in parentheses, one and a half days. And complimentary brekkie. That's what they call it over there, brekkie. So we got you a place at the Holiday Inn. In Perth. In Perth.

City center. Hey, dream vacation. You guys appreciate me. I appreciate you. Thank you for this 60-hour flight. Maybe you could do like a stand-up set there or something. If I have time. No, I could have no time.

You're going to be real tired once you get there. Busy as a bricklayer. Oh, yes. Absolutely, Connor. I to have no time. You're going to be real tired when you get there. Busy as a bricklayer. Oh, yes. Absolutely, Connor. I did do some research. There's one thing I do ask, one request that you check out. Maybe. If I have time.

The Academy of Taxidermy is in Perth. Okay. They also have the Australia Mint there. That's where they make their coins. So you might have to do that in one day. What else about Perth? Big 2.2 mil. I'd say. Most days of sunshine

of any Australian city, which seems almost impossible. Yeah, right. Even in Australia, for an Australian city. What's Perth's vibe? I think they're like the conservative rich folk of Australia. I'm going to fit in great. Yeah, man.

You're going to love Perth. You might stay. The bogan miners and the sand gropers. The sand gropers. Leaving so soon, Connor. You haven't even got to see the Kabungaloo Wildlife Sanctuary. Feed the emus. So you guys appreciate- Only one and a half days in perth beautiful connor

you haven't even seen the gift shop get a figurine of daniel ricardo but nick you'll like this the academy of taxidermy has dinosaurs they stuff dinosaurs there apparently oh yeah bring us back at bone or something bring back i if you can mail back a stegosaurus for nick what are you doing mook are you looking where it is i'm just looking at the flight log again it's a doozy i take off march 7th and don't land until march 9th. Right as rain, mate. I'm spending two days in the air. So I didn't know that. I accidentally got, you have the holiday in for March 8th as well. If you want to sell that to a vagabond.

This is the nicest. The sad part is this is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me oh yeah dude of course you've done so much for us yeah so the least we could do is like listen you work so much every night they're gonna be working till probably 3 a.m tonight yeah so why not spend a weekend in the air. Non-refundable. You also spelled my name wrong. Oh, fuck.

We're going to have to change that. I'm an OR guy. I guessed your birthday. September 15th, 96. Yes. Okay. So that's right. We'll just have to go in and change the name, then I'll send it over to you.

You're going to get some good-ass airline miles if you ever fly Malaysian again. You should get the Malaysian Airlines credit card. I probably will. Yeah, man. So in a quick 33, you'll be touching down on the hot sands of Perth. Wait, this is like kind of soon. Oh, no, it's not. March.

Yeah, so we gave you some time to prep. Prep for what? You'll get to watch the round of 64, 32, 16, and Elite Eight on the plane. No! You'll be in the air so long. You're going to watch three rounds of March Madness in the air so long you're gonna watch three rounds of March Madness in the air

on the same flight two days of March Madness oh shit I think the long ones may be comfort plus but I'd imagine even though the doozies have they're probably pretty comfortable to get up and walk around what do you say you in people do say

like well perth is a like a premier destination yeah it's the furthest you can go and still see white people yeah but there is a lot of aborigines yeah that'll be kind of what they look like i think they're we western australia is the second largest subdivision in the world. That means it's bigger than Greenland and Alaska. It is huge. You hearing this, Connor? It's deceivingly huge. If you want to take a road trip, if you want to use your time in Perth to be on the road.

How should I maximize my time there? Do you think? Well, I gave you one tip. Don't unpack. Taxidermy Academy. Don't unpack. Dude, if you're taxidermy. They're going to 100% think you're a terrorist if you're flying to Perth without luggage. Oh, yeah.

Yes. For a one and a half day trip. You don't need luggage. You only have. You won't have to get changed. Yeah. It's a day trip. Maybe a bathing suit. Yeah. Maybe. I don't need luck. You won't have to get changed. Yeah. Maybe a bathing suit. Maybe.

I don't know. How close is Perth? It's on the water, right? Yeah, it is. Yeah. Have you ever been to Perth before? Yeah. No.

You didn't even know what Perth was. Perth sounds like a made up place. No, man. It's Perth. It's the Perth biggest city in up place. No, man. It's Perth. It's the biggest city in Australia. Come on, man. I feel appreciated, but also love you, man. Yeah.

It's the Paris of Western Australia. Mm hmm. Yeah. I'm in. I'm in. I'm so excited. I'm in. Yeah.

I'm excited for you. I'm jealous. I've always want to go to Australia. Yeah. I'm going to vlog the flight. Yeah. But you to go to Australia yeah I'm gonna vlog the flight yeah but you don't have to it's not like sponsored content no no they actually just relax if you

I ran it by Hank relax on the plane I ran it by Hank and I was just like and he was like do you guys want this sponsor like no no no no because then we want him obligated to do it and so this is yeah you're going to Perth this is your time any more perth facts kyle you could do a swan plans tour apparently it's great

i know a local too do you have a picture of what his room looks like it it looks like a holiday in room he has the white bed but if you go to perth you're not going to coffee coffee maker. I hope you fall in love, man. I do know a girl that lives in Perth. You know, a girl that lives in Perth. I do. No, you fucking don't.

If I want to fall in love in Perth, it would have to be love at first sight because there's probably that would also be. Yeah. You're only getting a city. I would. I would guarantee Australia in general. I feel like incredibly hot people. The only person I know from Australia is actually from Perth perth but like it's a no stress trip man you

got the ticket round trip you got the hotel you got the fits you have nothing to worry about yep other than having fun i feel appreciated yeah man i feel you might want to try to plan this 30 hour 40 hour on the plane is the most I've ever felt appreciated. Yeah, good. I'm going to take this to the, I'm happy. This is fake. No. No, I'm kidding.

It's real. You're going to Perth. I'm down. I'm down. I'm game. You better be. I'll go to Perth. Hmm.

Have you been out of the country before i've been to canada and same thing same yeah same thing just uh three days longer to get there what do you yeah man like uh start planning and then i think we should just at the end of the shows you'll tell us like things that you're interested in if you could get a spot at a comedy club is there a perth comedy club that's gotta be there be. There's got to be. They do comedy, right? They're funny over there. Their comedy is kind of just like punching each other in the balls, though, right? I don't know.

Yeah, I don't know about Australian comedy. I guess Perth is like wildly different than like the majority of Australia. Is this real? Yeah. Backwards almost. The Comedy Lounge in Perth City, the Oasis comedy club and the laugh resort yeah a lot of options a lot of option maybe you could do all three in one night

hell yeah yeah eat the cuisine yeah if you could have breakfast lunch that's probably it oh no you're the best man we're lucky to have you and Perth's gonna be lucky to have you free brekkie at the holiday so Kyle you drew the Holiday Inn logo I did freehand I almost traced it

wanted to show my stuff and then the card has the australian star oh so excited i'm so excited too man this is gonna be great are you guys coming with her no no actually yeah i am but i'm staying for like two and a half weeks we could do that wait yeah let's do that yeah we'll have a dream vacation get a resort Yeah, let's do that. We'll have a dream vacation. We'll get a resort.

Anything else? Hold on one second. What's up, man? Mook, if you want to go see the Perth Red Stars, maybe you can use game time. Go check out the Red Stars. Go go see the Perth Red Stars, maybe you can use GameTime. Go check out the Red Stars. Go check out the Perth Glory, the Perth Wildcats, or Fremantle Football Club, FFC. That's who I like.

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Download GameTime today. Last minute tickets. Lowest prices guaranteed. Love those guys over there and gals. Oh, man. What are you on your phone for, man? I'm just prepping prepping checking just working i have a dog i appreciate you guys appreciating yeah yeah no hang-ups

no good good i'm stoked for perth it's exciting i think i'm southern hemisphere what weekend is that again you're not doing anything march 7th hold on oh trip starts march 7th yeah you're there then it ends in april yeah uh oh yeah i'm free no conflicts that's good that's good awesome great blended You're there. It ends in April. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm free. No conflicts. That's good.

That's good. Awesome. Great. Splendid. I'm flying back out to California five days after. Oh, no. Just stay. Five days after, I'll be back on a flight to Cali.

You'll be getting a lot of sunshine. One of your favorite things. Well, no. Actually, no. I'm going to get a lot of. Recycled air, actually, no. I'm going to get a lot of. Recycled. Yeah. I'm going to have to.

Yeah, but it's fine. It'll be dope. What are you in Cali for? Me and Sass are doing dates in Bakersfield and Irvine, I believe. Home of the Condors. Is that a team? Yeah. How did you guys land on Perth?

We were in the Uber from the airport. From LaGuardia to New York. Yeah. Same thing. We were just like, MOOC's been grinding. Our numbers have been higher than ever. Our clips are constant.

You got to give some credit to Reed as well. Oh, yeah. Reed? Yeah, Reed. Do you want the credit? you want to get appreciated brother yeah and so we were just like where can we where did you there was one one of the flights had a layover for 17 hours where at it was insane it was like uh he had a 17 hour layover in kabul kabul can you send the the final return flight so i can do the math real quick yeah man yeah yeah thank you wait kabul yeah i don't think

it was it was uh it was worse it was um like doha no there was one in doha but there was one that was oh man it was a place you probably don't want to be. It was like three continental layovers. It was like 50 hours round trip. Oh shit, that was wrong. I wonder how much faster a boat would be. Or how close it'd be. Yeah. A boat?

A boat? A boat is significantly slower. Wouldn't it take like a week? Yeah. For the last months? No, it wouldn't take months. It would probably take weeks. Actually, yeah, the Pacific is mad big.

Huge. Hopefully you can make some friends on the flight. I'd have to buy the in-flight Wi-Fi. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we didn't get them that. It's a complimentary break. I have the holiday in. What's their currency there?

The Australian dollar. Fun. Very fun. Beauty. All right. What would take? Four months? A boat takes four months.

So Rudy asked if that would be faster. For the record, one takes a day and a half and one takes four months yeah damn four months the ocean's big man ocean is fucking huge uh yeah the pacific ocean has an isotope on both sides i don't know what that means the polar opposite today is the 56th birthday of Keith Urban. Oh. Who might be the gayest man in the world. Really? He's got the hair.

Who's that dude, that bronze dude with highlighted shoulder length, flat ironed hair, a skin tight tight blouse skinny jeans and flip flops that's straight dude what is his songs are like um kiss a girl that's not that's stupid boy yeah you do you look good in my shirt yeah of course keith it's a woman's shirt yeah he is the gayest he's real short too is he yeah hell of a show i've seen him his number one song you've seen somebody like you it's a good song he's a good guitarist one too many brown eyes baby married to nicole kidman yes is he from perth he's from he's australian heath ledger is from Perth? He's from... He's Australian. Heath Ledger is from Perth. Oh, cool. Yeah.

Very cool. He's 5'10". Tiny. Tiny, tiny, tiny. Oh, man. That was good. It feels good to give sometimes, you know? We're in a culture of get, get, get, get, get. I'm tired of getting. I want to give. God damn to go me yeah it's like a holy shit that's what Oprah feels like an aura I'm riding high as a kite yeah same

anything else is new yeah what else is new i guess we could just change the topic now yeah i'm processing all of this we love you man i love you i love you guys too i yeah i thank you I feel appreciated thank you sir thank you you know China owns every panda even at the zoos and they're trying to recollect them they're trying to get them all back forcefully

or yeah they're like demanding their pandas back I believe they want to put them to good use or what I think they're prepping for war dude that's terrifying I've been hearing a lot of war talk. Tons. Tons. What's the last age you can get drafted? We're in the clear.

We're in the clear, but I'm thinking about it would suck to lose our intern to war. It would suck if he got sent to Taiwan. Yeah, I think he'd be a killer, dude. Yeah, I think so, too. Wait, Reid, slide in real quick. 26. 26 is the cutoff. Mook, how old Yeah, I think so, too. Wait, Reed, slide in real quick. 26.

26 is the cutoff. Mook, how old are you? Right here. Mook, how old are you? 27. Okay, you're good. This guy would kill. Reed would kill.

Yeah, he looks like a troop. This man would kill. They just rule out a 27-year-old beast? No. Yeah, I guess. A 30-year-old train? That seems seems pretty arbitrary because you have to sign up at 18 there's no upper limit for the draft fuck i have uh they 64 yeah they should send our best men me and my dad are gonna go i found my dad's drill sergeant i'm flat-footed though they don't fuck with that

i sleepwalk and have glasses when's the last time someone's been drafted World War 2 no not that long oh Vietnam 60s I don't think they did it for Korean War I think we have a yeah I think we have a big enough reserve

we'll be alright guys and we're like we're needed back here in the states this is important yeah yeah we are we'll be doing uso tours i could see them actually saying no to twitch streamers yeah you guys are yeah yeah those are mentally ill people yeah uh i also have asthma so that's a final bailout for me yeah but you're young yeah yeah but they don't allow people with asthma to join the military at all i mean if it's a world war and we're about to not be a country anymore they might let you bring your puffer yeah like a c-pad machine you're the last living man in the because you can't catch your breath. Okay, so I hit up Donnie about Perth.

Oh, Wanton Don? Yeah, he said very isolated, but pretty damn nice. Also one of the most expensive cities on the planet because it's hard to get stuff there and there's a lot of mining wealth so they can afford it. And then I Googled it and it says let this be a warning to you at the rest of the world never come to perth ever it totally

sucks here the pimple on the right cheek of australia i don't think no way that's just like cheeky banter they don't want you there they want to keep it their own hidden gem that's not what's real about no okay or it's probably's probably some angry teen. Like an angry pop-cup punk team. I gotta get out of this town. Do they have a military? Australia? Oh yeah. They fight? Oh yeah. They're an ally.

Yeah. We might be stationed there. What's the farthest away you've ever been? California? Canada. I ever been? California. Canada. I've been to Sacramento. Okay.

I've been to Ontario, California. Okay. Home of the rain. I've been to Mexico. Far. It's far? Yeah. I have a feeling I'm never coming back.

Why? I just feel like I'm- You're coming back immediately. Yeah, it's quite the opposite. It's one sleep and you're back yeah but I have like a bad feeling like I'm gonna get like trapped there or something bad is gonna happen like a booby trap oh it's I think it's

very very safe yeah okay for people wise um creatures yeah there's everything's poisonous uh in the sky land and sea oh spiders like giant spiders great they have those birds budgies right don't budgie swoop down a lot of things yeah this is probably bug bites hot girls though yeah if you get perth pussy perth pussy if you get perth pussy and we will extend your stay.

Yes. For every pussy. Yeah. For every pussy. For every thrust in a pussy, you get a day. Okay. Okay. All right.

Yeah. Now we're talking. Yeah. Get that Zoloft going. But then it won't be hard. True, but you can still thrust. Zoloft. So Zoloft makes you thrust better, more powerfully, longer.

It makes you overcompensate. Yes. It makes you last a lot oh because you can't come yeah my dick was so soft when i was on zoloft uh when i tried to have sex like you had to like double it like you had to fold it in half so it could just break the entrance you need to break a ruler in half and tape it yeah it was bad yeah oh yeah like it's like feeding snake spaghetti. I, uh... Exactly. Yeah, I guess. Absolutely.

That was from... You sounded like you were the Beatles. Yeah, you do. You sound like John Lennon. Nick the Beatles. I do a good impression of the Beatles. Hello, I'm the Beatles. That's good. You may have heard...

The Beatles sucks! That's the Beatles hater. Nick is the Beatlesles that's me the beatles yeah hello i'm from liverpool i'm the beatles nice to meet you i can do a fifa impersonation a fifa excuse me yeah like fifa announcers like martin tyler andy gray here ready for a spectacular day on the pitch that's english yeah but that sounded good that was really good i i used to we used to get high and i used to commentate fifa in my buddy's basement while we that was really good

do you have anything else like that can you do another one uh i can just do that basically yeah i think that's all i got pretty impressive um i ordered uber eats last night and my driver got there and i went to the door and it was this older black woman. And I get it. I'm like, is that for Nick? And she just starts laughing harder than I've ever made anybody laugh. She like is like hunched over, like dying laughing. I said, oh, is there like I'm sorry.

Like she's like, yeah, it's for you. And I was like, is this what's the matter? And she was like, just caught me off guard. And then she handed me off guard and then she handed me my food and walked away it was like the deepest i'm trying to think i don't know what it could i went up i looked and see if i had like a booger or something on my face she was like grabbed one knee catch trying to catch her breath laughter i get that what oh she is she maybe because of probably 60 you're in no right the area you're in i don't think what did you order salad i don't know that would check out yeah what were you

wearing a black t-shirt a blue flannel black pants so yeah and a hat forwards nothing you guys haven't seen were the glasses on or off on so I don't know what it could be I just ice rolled my face too so I wasn't puffy huh belly laughing

like the deepest laugh it's been fucking I I almost want to like message her you can't can you you can't message your grubhub drivers or It's been fucking, it's been, I, what was her name? I almost want to like message her. You can't, can you? You can't message your Grubhub drivers or Uber Eats? I don't know if you can after the fact. Fuck.

What if the contact support? That happens to me often when I jump scare people. No, I'm not even kidding. I've like jump scared a lot of people in my life. what do you mean jump you do that for recreationally no they like turn a corner and just oh and uh they laugh no they don't they they get spooked and then laugh but the one time it happened to me at just salad i uh it's always with salad man i was i was ordering a salad and um the cashier black woman also yeah just started giggling and i was like what what's up and she was like are you albino oh man that's not you don't laugh about that or you don't ask that tear and then i was like no she's like are you sure and i was like

yeah and i maybe why you guys are just persistently getting disrespected. Oh, constantly. Are you not? Well, I just got appreciated. Yeah, you're right. Oh, I don't think, I think the majority of people aren't. I think it's easy to avoid. Being disrespected?

Like what adults are going around disrespecting people? It happens all the time. Rudy, do you get disrespected? Some dude called me aid Seth Rogen this past weekend. Oh, online. No. On the contrary.

Directly to my face. I mean, my intelligence gets disrespected by you yeah like i was like a stranger ever like just said something utterly disrespectful no not that i can think of no there's gotta be something no yeah when was the last time you were disrespected kyle in person in person i mean would you count the roof ball the guy like yes yeah that guy used the top of your head as an arm wrap what else could that oh that guy really respected me yeah that that is disrespect yeah he let me lift up his forearm with my head. That was cool.

And he loved he kept on coming back. That was he was going for a second. Double dipped. There was a there was a forearm indent on your forehead, on your on the top of your head. And then he was like reading the chat to me like, oh, they're they're loving. They're loving how much taller I am. They're asking if he's in a hole. I was going through your head when he did that?

Did he make you follow him? Forearm, yeah. He asked me to. I didn't follow him. Yeah, why would you? I just fantasized about defeating him. In what? In different ways.

Like a thousand different permutations on that flight home. Mentally, physically. You just kept on thinking of ways you could defeat? Defeat him, yes. On a battlefield? I think I said this, revenge is better than happiness. It is. Everything I do is out of spite.

Everything I do, I wake up in the morning and I think of hypotheticals that will never happen of people disrespecting me and me getting exact revenge. Yeah. I've never once had it happen. I never gotten revenge not even close no i've never gotten revenge usually when people cut like when you people disrespect me they forget about me immediately i don't even think i could get revenge like aha i got you they'd be like what

yeah fuck man huh like we have a lot of ads today yeah we have two more oh also the latest other disrespect Peyton laughing at me so I feel your pain that was a new one it's not new but I'm saying I'm getting laughed at yeah you got the point but on the contraire

have you ever disrespected someone then like afterwards felt horrible yeah i had happened yeah i did it to mook this weekend was when i worked at foggy bottoms haunted house it was a kid i was partnered with in the corn maze we were being the children of the corn and uh i was in seventh grade he was in sixth and uh i was a real asshole to him and i feel bad about it to this day i wasn't trying to impress i was trying to impress this girl aaron it's always yeah it's always to impress yep yeah i made him bite the skin off his fingers oh i'm joking jesus christ dude i don't know that ever happened to you that oh was like oh that one yeah i've been there

oh that old trick. I'm trying to think how you would do that. You'd grab their neck and then their face. Oh, that would be disrespectful. That might be the most disrespectful thing you could do. Bite the... Moop comes out from school with his bones exposed on the end of his hands. Again.

You had to get new hands? You know what's important guys drinking down water today's episode is brought to you by body armor we drink like five gallons of body come on come on

don't get that off the desk what is nondescript it could be anything you didn't take a drink the entire show jesus christ start over i get it now today's episode is brought to you by body armor we love the guys over at body armor uh they stock up the office they have the giant leader bottles i probably drink like a gallon of water a day same broke my piss right i timed it i guess i never timed it before so i don't know if it's technically my record how did you know it was going to be a long one because you drank i felt it i was on the yak and i felt it for so long it

was a minute 46 oh oh my straight piss that's that's the that's like uh that's a punk rock song i've never had close to that. So that's that. You must have been hurting. How crystal clear did you meet Laminar flow? Lots. Yes. Crystal clear. Yeah.

Body armor has great tasting flavors like strawberry and banana and blue raspberry for their other drinks. We have those in the office as well. But not only do we hydrate body armor with some of the best athletes in the world do as well. Can I name them? I will. Christian McCaffrey, Joe Burrow, CD lamb, Bryce young, Ronald,

Ronald Acuna, Jr. Probably senior too. Um, yeah, it's been fantastic having it around the office. Love body armor. It's available in stores nationwide, but you can head on over to body armor store on Amazon to get yours today.

Body armor. Um, Barstool Kush. Yeah. Uh yeah uh i'm gonna come clean all of us are running barstool kush it's not some mystery stoner yeah it's us um i bought i bought one of those reggae hats you're getting so into when i do strain reviews and i put it on and it's almost too ridiculous it is no it's a real we are gonna real baggy really bad reviews yeah i'm gonna start i'm just gonna like you know figure out the peptides i'm gonna check out the crystals shit like that um and the amount of this is the most overwhelmingly supported thing we've ever done easily um a lot of business opportunities shocking shocking mook on the business end

how are we doing we have about 10 offers right now got a lot of offers from actual like growers yep they want to send us pounds and pounds of weed so i better start smoking weed that would be a good start especially for these reviews um i don't want people to think i'm a phony um but you could tell from the tweets like it comes from a high-ass brand but it's become too much trying to think of the tweets trying to keep up with that so we put out last night just like would you if you want to send in a video to audition to be the co-mod of barstool kush and we got 91 video applicants no 105 what yeah i thought we meant just like emails like saying i'll do it nope video applicants some of them well some of them were so stoner they forgot

to attach their video yep which is what we're looking for. Yep. A couple with no sound. This guy sent me a picture of him in a Michael Myers mask and said need I say more? Yeah. A little bit. Can we see some of this? Yeah, we have them on Mook's computer. No, no. We'll have them on the computer. We'll have them

overlaid on the pod. If you guys are listening, we will have the audio of the videos, but head on over to the head on over to the YouTube and subscribe, please. Eight applicants. Thank you, Mook. And we will have these overlaid. And I would like to clarify the application process. We received 100 submissions.

We probably whittled it down to 20 valid stoners. And then the stoners that responded to my follow-up email today asking for permission to use their video. How many do we have that made it to this final round?

Eight valid stoners in the final round. This guy just submitted a photo. It's him doing the Wakanda Forever X next to Ruth Bader Ginsburg's tomb. Okay. Yeah. Oh, wait. And he's doing...

Is he getting sturdy on top of the grave? He's hacky-sacking. He's hacky-sacking at Ginsburg. He's hacky-sacking on Ginsburg. Pretty much. And what is this position? So you can can see some of the duties uh comod so they are going to we're not going to give them a login because that would be bad yeah uh they will get um followed by barstool kush and then they will dm us everything we will tweet okay yeah yeah so that's stoner one and anytime we release merch you'll get it as well stoner two

wait wait a minute wait a minute look at his wink that's a twitch that wasn't that was a flirty wink what you got to say all right boys i'm keeping it short and sweet because i'm about to run a chili's i'm a huge donor always loved it every day at least two three months a day okay i'm always on twitter 99 of my days on twitter even when when I work. I can always be tweeting. Whatever you need from me, I'll be there. I'll drop some memes below. And obviously some proof of me being a stoner. I'd love to be considered.

Let me know. Strong. Yeah, solid. Look at this. Last rep. Oh, my God. And I don't know the YouTube rules. Yeah, that's a good candidate.

Now, here's the meme he sent. It's a bowl made of cliff bar. When you get to the hotel and realize you forgot paper, so you make a pipe out of the cliff. Yeah. That super specific moment you can be in. I have my weed and my lighter and a cliff bar, but no more. Then the flexing emotion. solid uh is your arm bigger than the flexing emoji like muscular yeah yeah that's got to feel good yeah i measured yeah it's bigger not like the actual believe me yeah my arm's bigger

than the emoji from the look from the Yeah, if that arm was to scale. Probably not. You did this on purpose. No. You could have said another strong arm. Your arm is smaller than the emoji. Okay. Give a flex real quick.

You should go as the strong arm emoji for Halloween this weekend. I should. Just got to get a little bit bigger. All right, what's this guy? Hey, my name is Fleetch Maldman. I love two things, and that's Cush and 1960s smoke show Raquel Welsh. Nice. I'm not here to actively apply for the mod because motivation goes against the Cush creed. Good answer.

But a little bit about myself, I have two podcasts. One is One Stop Shop with Bertram MacArthur, which is a fashion podcast with no visuals. And then I have No Harm, All Foul with Dakota Calhoun, which is a birdwatching podcast, again, with no visuals. And Dakota Calhoun and Bertram MacArthur are both me, Fleetch Malvin. I love you guys. Again, being a mod would be cool. I just can't actively say I'm a fan. He goes against the Cush Creed. Fleetch Melvin. And then his two co-hosts were also him.

What a reveal at the end. He's my favorite. I like that because he won't do anything. He has no motivation. So we'll hire him. Check out his email, by the way. He might just be a side hire. Their screenshots should be in the kush creed hey my name is fleed

smelt bin my mom made me apply to this love fleed smelt bin that wasn't supposed to send yet too much kush he forgot to attach it and I actually think that's his name because that's like his gmail I think that's his name because that's like his gmail i think that's his name

fleed not a chance wait let's check facebook or something he made a new gmail account just for this that then he would be good at the job no but in turn wouldn't fleab Oh yeah, my bad. Fleed Schmalben. S-C-H-M-A-N-D. If he's real, he's hired. Oh yeah. Fleed Schmalben. Wait. Oh my god. It's all him. He's a TikTok. I think

it's a stage name. Yeah. Maybe? Yes. That was damn good. That was damn good that was damn good I like that he forgot to send anything and he admitted he won't do anything that makes our job easier and that was stoner 3 stoner 3

stoner 3 yeah one thing is he doesn't look like a stoner he looks like a military man stoner 4 that what's up boys Luke coming from Happy Valley Goose Bay in northern

Canada Labrador Cool I'm baited out of my E-ball It's a barstool cushion It ended too quick It just ended Holy shit

Play that again Play that again It ended too quick. It just ended. Holy shit. Play that again. Play that again. I don't sound like you, Kyle. What's up, boys? This is Luke coming from Happy Valley, Goose Bay in northern Canada, Labrador. I'm baked out of my this barstool cushion it just ends

yeah strong from Labrador that's amazing strong man I think holy shit

that was whoa we moved on to stoner 5 oh I forget stoner 5 Holy shit. Whoa. We moved on to stoner five. Oh, I forget stoner five. He's not wearing much. I love these guys. Oh, yeah.

I remember him. I remember him. Oh, what is he? Oh, whoa. These guys are good. These guys are damn good. What did he send? Here's his email.

Sup, fellas. Love, Kush. And I love the Nashua Silver Knights. Okay. Proud resident. He's from Nashua. Okay. Hobbies include getting high and using Duolingo to learn Japanese so I don't have to read anime subtitles.

Yeah, this guy's good. He's a coin holder. His name's Hoovy. Hoovy? Hoovy is a stone arrest name. His name is not Hoovy. Even if it's short for hoover that's ridiculous we got we got that this is gonna be damn near impossible to whittle down the one i love our

audience man these are the guys the best people on earth this is ridiculous this was up for 12 hours we got 101 i think i'm still getting emails right now. Dude, I want this. I want like a team. I want a whole team to run towards. I want a headquarter. I want the Kush headquarters up in Labrador. In Labrador.

Make the other dudes fly up there. And they're just in an office smoking. Not doing shit. It's costing us so much money. We have a cam. We'll go to Kush HQ. But you can never doing shit. It's costing us so much money. We have a cam. We'll go to HQ. You can never see shit. Oh my god.

All of our expense. Everything. Our entire paycheck. I want those eight dudes. I'll see the rest. Okay, stoner six. Holy shit. What up?

I'm Alan. This is my cat. In my garage that I live in. Smoking weed is not a sport. It's an art. But I would go to the Olympics if they needed me. What did he say? X.

Whoa. Oh, he's got weed in a pokeball he went hard on iMovie nice harp very good these guys these guys are the real deal uh mook kudos to you for curating that's what we appreciate you so much

alright this one's just images it seems sup bro my dad is the security guard there oh god we got nepotism. Yeah. Peep the last name. Like we would know his last name. I blaze daily and roll fatties off my hot wife's ass. When the homies bring Reggie, we call it Brandon because he's mid.

Oh, fuck. Forgot to send a video. Sorry. Just way too high. No video. Yeah. Yeah. yeah strong but i don't want to get accused of nepotism no well it'll be seven guys let's see this last guy stoner eight just a photo the stoner seven not falling for this one cop a cab riley yeah he's cut two we got six strong men uh five right i think five i think we cut two out of eight this guy good oh hoovey the first fleaboo

hoovey and fleaboo hoovey and fleaboo that sounds like a band name who yeah it does really good okay those uh we'll build a graphic and we will have people uh you're moved on to the second round now we're gonna do it again i want i want interns for We'll build a graphic and we will have people. You're moved on to the second round. We're going to do it again. I want interns for them. Yeah. So we're going to choose four of these guys for HQ.

Yeah. And then they get to choose 10 interns each. So we need an office of 44. And we need a security guard for that office. Yes. And so if you're doing the math, that's more people than work at the Barstool Chicago HQ. Yeah. We have a bigger company. We'll build out a private Discord.

Yeah. Yeah. This is the Barstool Kush. There is already the Barstool Kush subreddit. No. Yeah. That's amazing. Did you see you made the pardon my take subreddit?

Oh, I did see that. Who's this guy eating string cheese? I don't like him. Yeah. But the warriors, the soldiers, the soldiers came out. The cream team. The cream team came out. Good.

Yeah, good. The cream team creamed. This is our audience right here. These guys. I love them. Oh, I love them so much. Hoobie. Hoobie.

Holy shit. I made my day. day lead for your fleet schmeltman is that the name from school of rock so yeah kind of yeah pretty much what did the the really gay kids say you're tacky you're tacky and i hate you yeah you knew you just didn't want to say it i yeah i didn't want to say um of course today is also brought to you by hello fresh kyle your name's the promo no it's not um talk talk to me about hello fresh what you know don't you rhapsodize about hello fresh okay um stop going to the grocery store jesus i hate yelling at you guys but when you're not you're not listening you aren't listening

you're going to the grocery store you're wasting gas miles or or steps and you're the grocery store is a miserable experience and you're you're paying too much you can get cheaper products cheaper food cheaper whole meals pulled pork nachos mini pumpkin cheesecakes all the fall flavors apple cider apple cider cake with caramel sauce that sounds so good god damn uh yeah i love how easy it is i love how consistent fast fresh. Nothing really bad about it. I'd say to go to HelloFresh.com. And slash 50 anus, five zero anus and use code 50 anus for 50 percent off plus free shipping. That is a huge, huge bargain.

Thank you to those boys and girls at HelloFresh. All right. We have a team of four stoners or six. We're going to call them the Rolling Stones. Oh, I like that. I like that a lot. It's probably taken. Kush Cadets.

You good? Yeah. The sniffles? No. So I'm the most healthy I've been. You're not eating for like 20 hours at a time and it works i had a little hiccup but i think it's you ate i had i did i did a successful relapsed on the thing that every human needs to live

i'm not reward eating are you eating good food? Survival eating. Yeah. I doubt it. Yeah, I am. Rice, chicken, beef, turkey, tuna. Yeah, I guess that's all good. I nailed the 16. I was like, this is easy. 18, easy. 20, oh my God, I'm getting a boost of euphoria at about hour 20. So then I went too hard. I was like, let me do 24 two days in a row wait that's just 48

that's just not eating for two days no because yes it is 24 two days in a row not two stints in a row I guess because I fasted from 6 p.m. to 6 p.m. then ate from...

You didn't eat for two days. No, I know. 4 p.m. to 4 p.m. Then ate all my calories from 4 to 6 in that window. Then did 6 p.m. to 6 p.m. Jesus Christ. Then the second one killed me. Yeah.

Because I was also training ridiculously hard twice a day. Is having a gym in your building bad for you i've been going to yeah yeah no i've been doing the committed to abs okay committed to cardio so you're running i've been watching um you know sam sulek i love him he's so calming yeah i mean i'm not trying to do anything he does and i think he's flawed in many ways i think he's a seems like a pretty decent guy he's a great guy great videos sound dude but no one should look like that i think he's too obsessed with he's 22 he's out of breath well i don't think i think he has an affliction where you can't he doesn't breathe he can't breathe through his nose yeah but um yeah i guess that's the affliction i just don't get why like you can't he doesn't breathe he can't breathe through his nose yeah but um yeah i

guess that's the affliction i just don't get why like you can't you talk about every bit of your training and diet but you can't mention steroid use which is such a like yeah because they'll talk about every calorie they eat what they ate for the day every muscle they worked but they won't even mention the whatever milligrams of steroids they're using i'm enamored now with watching bodybuilders order food at restaurants you're getting those and everything i ate in a day yeah yes so many so much point home about how he can stay in his macros on fast food yeah he's like a college diet is horrible isn't it like five guys and five guys but he's technically red guys, milk, red meat.

It's just red meat. You can still cut on fast food. He doesn't cook chicken. Yeah, no, he has a lot of good products. No, it's, yeah. Yeah. It's thermodynamics. I want to just, I'm enamored by his hat. He's finally switched.

Yeah, but I want to see him without the hat. There's a video of him diving because he was a high school diver. He's a very good diver. He took off the hat for that dive it looks like like donkey kong doing like a ballet yeah that's a mario so i don't think the steroids are wise like the i think he's a genetic freak because i saw pictures of him before steroids and you could tell like that's insane it's a good i also think he's super popular because he's just a very nice calming person it's he's the bob ross of power lifting yeah fire combo yeah yeah yeah it's a good ass combo uh mook you got a you got your stand-up tonight yep and then that'll be a running thing it's always later in the month right yeah

yeah i think uh next month we got Nikki in the one on the ones and twos yeah I'm excited any housekeeping nothing too jarring no what's that just jarring

I've just yeah I just have jarring stuff I would have i would have you don't want to hear it it's jarring it can be put off i would have more but i've been going through emails for the past yeah and i appreciate you yeah yeah thanks for appreciating that that feels like a running segment but uh we should have a mount rush more of stoners but it's a rotating cast. Yeah.

Power ranking. We'll just keep hiring guys. Yeah, exactly. What are you guys going to do for Halloween? I'm going to be gone, but what are you guys up to? I'm going to go to Chef Donnie's party. I bought a pack of I'm going as a Japanese frog for Halloween. For sure.

Same old, same old. I'll'll go to the party i don't have any i'll probably be the japanese frog if he has extras do you have extras actually yeah i got a four pack thank you sick yeah uh mook what are you going as i'm going as the cream pie god oh fuck yeah do you have a halo I'd rather wait for the reveal I think he has a halo do you want me to spill it nah nah nah cream pie god doesn't spill it

homemade items no I'm ordering stuff from like Amazon I couldn't even begin to say what it could be it's pretty basic it's gonna be an angel costume. He's going to have a beard and a robe, and he's going to have whipped cream, I bet. Just standard cream.

Yeah, you're... Is that it? Almost. You're two for three. There's more. Okay. There's more. Interesting.

Maybe a weapon or a staff. Bible? Possibly. I'm changing up my hair. I'm changing up my hair i'm changing up my hair whoa oh interesting yeah fuck yeah i'm excited to see that all right uh anything else thank you for the uh the gift fellas yeah man and if you enjoy it we'll do it again god bless the gift, fellas. Yeah, man. And if you enjoy it, we'll do it again. God bless.

Nice. You guys are insane. You guys are fucking insane.