A New Untold Story - Quanversations Ep 1: Geography and History

Episode Date: May 30, 2025

Nick Turani and Kyle Bauer do a deep dive in the history of Quahog including the founding, the boundaries, and the notable people. They also reveal their top four Quahog restaurants.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, a new untold story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad free on Amazon Music. Newport County, Rhode Island, just outside of Providence. Zip code 00093, or as the locals call it, the 93. With its lush greens and its parks aplenty. You know you're in Qohog. Welcome to Conversations I'm your host Nick and this is your host Kyle. Let's get into it episode one. I think today would be a great launching off point of the history and maybe the geography of Qohog, Rhode Island. Where would you like to start? I think just the basics, like you said in the introduction, Cohock is in the Providence Metro, about 15 minutes out.

And you can get a pretty clear view of the Providence skyline from some parts of Cohock. You can see it from the backyard of some homes on Spooner. On the corner of Spooner and Elbridge, and then in the abandoned lot adjacent to the Little Clam Preschool building, that's where you'll get the best one. And I know the city pretty well. We've been a handful of times, we've researched it extensively for years, but I was looking at the actual legal boundaries, and you know it, I are some oddities, yeah. There's two glaring

oddities that there's two enclaves within the city boundaries of Kohok. It's, you know, Pitoria and Joe Hio. And you guys can look this up at home and there's links in the description on some literature on this, but there was one point in time in 2000, you know this, in 2000, Pitoria illegally annexed the only body of water in Joe Hio, the swimming pool, and the United States military eventually had to step in and make a peace treaty. Operation Desert Clam. Operation Desert Clam and at that peace treaty the military had to go to Pitoria, show some force, and it was the president Pitoria, the mayor of Kohog, and Latoya Jackson all there at the signing. That

settled without any bloodshed, thank God, but that enclave still exists to this day. Pitoria, you can try to go through when you're there. It's just a little, I don't know, it's a little eerie going, like you're off of US soil. It can be unsettling. Yeah, it really, really can. Um, but that's just the geography. But yeah, ever since that, the peace settlement, I'd call it, um, co-hog has been on an economic upswing. Absolutely has, absolutely has.

As you mentioned, the park green spaces, it was ranked 46th on the list of America's 50 best cities to live. Not bad. In a 2015 survey. Okay. Done by 247wallstreet.com. Okay, great.

Between Eau Claire Wisconsin and Lavonia Michigan and I'd imagine it's probably gone up because they've only they've they've really put the pedal to the metal on focusing on these parks and green spaces everywhere you go it's lush but I think it would be appropriate to turn the clock way way back and talk about the founding of the city itself. Very beginning. There's two trains of thought, one a little bit more mystical and fun than the other, and that's probably not the real one, but we could talk about that one first because it's it's it almost seems like a fairy tale.

Yeah. If you want to take lead, you for the longest time believed that this was the true founding. You were pretty late to the game and believing. I think it was suspension of belief more so. I wanted to believe because it was the more exciting story. Yeah, absolutely. But this is with Miles Musket. Chatterbox. Old Chatterbox. This is, yeah, certainly the more fun thing to believe. He would talk and talk and talk. Talk so much that he was a sailor, Miles Musket, with the nickname Chatterbox. And he was talking so much on a journey. He was thrown overboard into the Atlantic Ocean to die to drown right and he was saved by a

Talking clam who brought him to shore which was now cohog right and The it the story does not end happily the clam and chatterbox. That's maybe offensive miles Mr.. Musket had a little bit of a tiff a little bit of an argument there's not too much written historical records on this but the clam went back out to see furious ashamed broken-hearted and they never spoke again right so miles is alone on cohog and he finds a woman. He finds a woman, I believe her name was Jane, and they procreated, they created a kid, Jane Musket, Ne-O-Donald, I believe.

And that child unfortunately died very young. And the reason we know this is because his tomb And the reason we know this is because his tomb was robbed in 2013. A family exhumed the tomb in hopes of finding treasure. Another train of thought is that Kohog comes from the Algonquin Kwanotkantung. Meaning black fish. That black fish being the tautog fish that's oftentimes found in behind rocks and little, you know, brambling brooks. Right. Common misconception. A lot of people assume cohog is translated to cohog, the bivalve mollusk. That's right. That's right, which is on the flag. Right.

Which is on the flag. Vexologists rank that in the top 30 city flags. I mean, don't get me wrong, cohogs, the clams are very important to the city's economy. Sure. Like aquamarine, clam farming, like that brings in a lot of money annually. But the city was actually, it wasn't a talking clam that saved a sailor that founded the city. It was Griffin Peterson. Yep, and this is way back in the 17th century

as early as the 1630s. Yeah, yeah, there's no exact date, circa 1630s perhaps. Griffin, a stout man, oftentimes wearing green pants, white shirt, brown hair, and a three-pointed hat. A classic-looking- Common garb of that era. Yeah, a classic-pointed hat a classic looking common garb of that yeah a classic looking colonial gentleman he was in England and in love with a high society woman Lady Redbush Lady Redbush and he was on his way to marry her in

England but it turns out Kyle he wasn't the only one with eyes for Lady Redbush. Of course. King Stuart II. That's how it goes. That's how it goes. And King Stuart swooped in and almost claimed prima nocta. You know? That's a little crass, but he wanted Lady Redbush for himself.

He's the king. What does he do? He exiles Griffin. He exiles Griffin Peterson to the New World. Griffin Peterson makes it to the New World and he starts Kohog as a white supremacy colony. And that is the harsh reality and it gets harsher. It does get harsher. Yeah, so when he first arrived a Portion of the land that is now Kohok was purchased from the Narragansett Indian tribe. That's right But another portion of what is now Kohok

was Obtained from the Narragansett Indians. Yeah, that's one way to put it That's one that's that's the most PG way to put it and I appreciate you doing that but you know history in general is Yeah, that's one way to put it. That's one that's that's the most PG way to put it and I appreciate you doing that but you know history in general is Bloody it's unfair. It's cruel and we can't really beat around the bush when you talk about this, right? They obtained it via violent One-sided wooing. Yeah, that's again. You're still tiptoeing that line. I am. Griffin Peterson and his men raped the Narragansett Indians. Every one of them

with a smile on their face. Yeah. And that's how they obtained the land that is now Kohok and started the settlement. And that's where you can understand why people want to believe the talking clam story Right, and it's it's like you can't tell the kids exactly how it was So that's I think it's perfectly fine to fit until they're you know able to comprehend the facts but yeah Peterson lived in co-hog founded co-hog and He found a lover there to get over his lost love Lady Redbush.

A woman named Meg, short for Megan, and he treated her poorly to say the least. He treated her like she was less than a possession, like something that was given to him that he didn't really want. And you could tell it's, you can spin this to be romantic because he would never love somebody the way he loved Lady Redbush. Meg, she was described as plain, dull, and a nag. Even for the era. She was described as plain, which you'd have to imagine would be I hate to do this ghastly and

He did end up marrying her and he started He was successful. He was successful outside of his marriage life. A lot of ventures Yeah, but while Griffin is setting up This settlement in the New World and doing well at it, let's go back to England. King Stuart is married to Lady Redbush and she presumes Griffin Peterson is dead. Right, yeah, he was exiled. He had to have died. He had to have died in this land of savages.

Stuart, the king Grows disinterested in his wife. He hardly pays attention to her. They by today's standards had a fully open relationship Zero jealousy on his end. He just wanted her or maybe he just didn't want Griffin to have her so wanted her or maybe he just didn't want Griffin to have her. So she is doing her own thing and she forms a relationship with the court jester. And the court jester, as a lot of people know, was the one that proved to her that Griffin Peterson was still alive in the New World. Okay, that's right. He showed her a newspaper article from the Colonial Tribune of Griffin Peterson on-

Of Griffin. Oh yes, on the front cover. He was on the front page. Showing his butt. Showing his bare butt. He was- That's right. He was intoxicated, showing his butt

in what is now the present day, drunken clam. The old pub. The old pub. The old pub. And that fills her with joy, a fear of having to go find him. Her heartbreak almost, it opened up all these old wounds and you have to feel for her in this situation.

all these old wounds and you have to feel for her in this situation. She escapes King Stewart to find Griffin Peterson in the New World, which is beautiful. When she gets there, she finds out he's married. Dun-dun. Yeah. What happens back then? The legal proceedings were too complex to appropriately get a divorce Well people were so godly back then that divorce is a mortal sin right? I guess you can say Griffin found a loophole and

well, he took his wife Meg out back and Shot her he shot her with a gun in the backyard. He was such a prominent, important, and respected figure, nobody asked any questions. No. So he shoots Meg. Completely hushed. Unbelievable. Right. So he shoots his wife, marries Lady Redbush.

They live in harmony for six months. It took six months for King Stewart to realize she had even left. But when he found out. It's crazy. Yeah, but when he found out, uh oh. Gather my armies, I'm going over there. Now it's war. Now it's war. And Kyle, this is one of my favorite passages.

When he landed his troops on the shores of Kohog, they were chanting this, there once was a peaceful town called Kohog, Where people lived in harmony, They never had no kind of trouble, There was no hint of misery. Then all at once the trouble started, A pack of murderers and thieves,

Like swarms of locusts they descended, Their aim to make townfolk flee. And their aim was true. folk flee and Their aim was true The town folk were in a panic to see a much stronger more advanced Military force on their peaceful shores, right? And so what do they do? They rat out Lady Redbush They do and we will get to what happened after quick ad break Today's episode is proudly brought to you by Fargus's wacky world of mayhem. Love fun, love mayhem, then you'd be an absolute fool to not swing by Fargus's wacky world of mayhem.

This indoor fair is unlike any other, see attractions such as microwave-ception, where co-hogs own Randall Fargus will pop a small bag of popcorn in a tiny microwave Inside of a larger microwave inside of a larger microwave five microwaves total Wow Check all this out and more right outside of cohog Heights use code Q hog history For buy one get one free admittance not a bad deal. All right back to the history Free admittance not a bad deal. All right back to the history So Kyle the townsfolk are so rattled that they rat out one of their very own lady redbush to the king The king gets her long story short he captures her but while he was so focused on that

Griffin Captured the king's top lieutenant and Now it is a standoff They are ready to kill Knives at the throat gun at the temple ready to kill the lieutenant and lady red bush out of anger blood lust rage But then a miracle happens They both agree enough is enough when it comes to the bloodshed Enough is enough when it comes to the violence is enough when it comes to the bloodshed. Enough is enough when it comes to the violence.

Let's end this with, settle it with the talent show. Yeah. But the talent show and the King being the King says I'll go first. And what does he do? He steals his court jester's jokes and performs comedy. Word for word. Kyle, it works. The crowd is laughing. The court jester was on Peterson's side, was livid when he saw the

king doing his set. And he was even more livid when people were laughing. Yeah, that's his work. That's his work stolen by the king. Peterson comes out with a group of men. A slave, a paraplegic, a sailor with no arms and no legs, and Morthachu. It's a ragtag bunch. And they say, Hello everybody, we are the Kohog colonists. Are you ready to rock?

Eruption from the crowd. They perform a musical number. And as it's happening, as the seconds are passing, the King starts to panic. He knows it's over. It is so impressive. It is so well organized. The King says you can have her.

You can have her. She's yours. She's yours. She's yours, look at what you did. And they lived out the rest of their lives. She died at the age of 30 in pure bliss and happiness. And that's the abridged version of that. And that's actually the true founding of co-hog. Right, Griffin Peterson has to be the most famous,

historic, notable, co-hog residence of all time. He's the one who started it all, a carousel of memorable, dramatic theatrical moments. Yeah, he would be the one. That brings me to who's the other notable residence, who are the other notable residents of co-hog? And there are several.

I think we should get into some of those yeah by all means I wanted to start with someone who I think has done maybe more for the world and cohog than any of the others on this list and that's Vietnam War veteran Ida Davis. Yeah, an absolute legend in their own right. And I'm glad you used there, but the pronoun is now her. No kidding. Ida Davis. I wanted to tread lightly.

Right. Yeah. All right, yeah, so Ida Davis born. Oh, for the listeners, we're about to dead name. We know it's purely historical context, but go ahead. To be historically accurate, Ida Davis was born Daniel Quagmire in 1931 the now transsexual former United States Navy officer and recipient of the US military's highest decoration the Medal of Honor for her

actions. Fair. In the Vietnam War and I think Ida is the only trans woman in North America with a Vietnam War Medal of Honor. Yeah, she would have to be. She was a A4 Skyhawk pilot operating off the USS Ticonderoga. Yeah, impressive. So Davis wasn't born nor raised in Kohog, but she did undergo her sex change operation there. She was born again in Kohok.

Well, she only existed in Kohok. Ida herself. That's correct. And she's been a big figure in the community ever since. She's been honored at Kohok's officer club for her service. She's also a regular member at the Kohok Historic Society. She's on floats at parades. I mean her son I believe is a pilot to this day because of her inspiration. A mother of three. She now has three children

who are also prominent members of the Kohok community. A daughter Brenda and two sons Gary and Glenn and That family is just really important there they are a Keystone of the community. I know I don't know personally, but I've seen Glenn on spooner and he is always The kindest Sharing You know, he's proud to be a quagmire. Glenn was with us for the brewery tour and then he took us to, what was that Swedish bakery?

Fleur'd? Fjord? Vanderpokes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Run by Fjord Vanderpoke. Of course. We got klockaka and cake. My God, I still think about it to this day.

Glenn insisted he would pay and we didn't let him do that but he was as good as a host as you can absolutely and i i honestly think he is well on his way to being a notable person as well in co-op you think he can make the list one day one day who else do you have on the list dr cecil perchil Perchfield. Yeah. I knew this was coming. Yeah. The now deceased child psychologist. And he earned prominence in the field of child psychology for his psychosexual analyses of children under the age of three. Yeah. Particularly for his evaluations and assessments on one local co-hog infant. That's right. Stuart Griffin. That's right. Well, I think it was the first infant ever psycho analyzed Sexually to that degree my god. Do I know who's next knowing you know, you know, you might be able to guess is it

Christian aftershave. Yeah The very controversial criminal defense lawyer and author from Kohawk. Yeah, you might catch flak for this one. Well, I mean, regardless of how you feel about him on a moral level, he did represent some very high profile defendants. Joe Biden, Charlie DeVice, and even Glenn Quagmire,

who we just mentioned. Wow. Full circle moment there. Trafficking reptiles. Sure. Do you want me to, let's go to something more uplifting Sure Omar North Tower Yeah, Omar is the Islamic Indian American schoolboy at Martin mall elementary school. Yeah

Which we also had the pleasure of touring And another notable figure in Kohog would have to be Billy Finn. Yeah The British dolphin that's right. That's right. He lives off the coast of Kohog notable figure in cohog would have to be Billy Finn. Yeah. The British dolphin. That's right. He lives off the coast of cohog. I think you can still count it as cohog. Right.

One of the first marine mammals to be fluent in English. Yeah, that's right. Maybe the first. Maybe the first. Probably the first. Yeah. I don't know if that's been done since or before I think there's a goldfish outside of DC

Okay, and I think that's where we'll leave everybody today episode 2 will be cuisine of co-hawk We'll get into the food. Yeah top four favorite restaurants right now go oh Man top four yeah, put me on the spot. I go founding fathers. Have to. What else? You're founding fathers at one, what do you have at two? Luigi's, it's gotta be Luigi's. It's not my one-one.

I don't hate that. But you know what you're gonna get every time. It's consistent, yeah. And then, can I throw in a chain? LGBTQ Fridays? That's my two. Just because it is so consistent, so well priced, and the main waitress there, stunning.

She's dating a dog. That's right. So like you have a chance and then number one Big Pete's house of munch. Yes, dude. So so good. It's got up. Oh, that's what we'll discuss next week on Conversations. Thank you guys