A New Untold Story - Spread In High School - A New Untold Story: Ep. 395

Episode Date: May 9, 2024

kb doesn't know anything, the knews is back, and nick got spread by kiki. Ads: Gametime - Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code UNTOLD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply).You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, a new untold story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcast, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad free on Amazon Music. You mean you're going to reply to what I'm going to say? No, you're just going to say, no, that's a new untold story. Hey, is that story over told? No, baby. It's a new untold story. I knew untold story episode. I was on track for a little bit, but I just completely.

Yeah, I mean, I'm off track. It's 394, but I don't know anything about 394. I don't know anything about anything that actively matters. What? Yeah, I came to this realization three days off the weed. Oh, and came to this panic-riddled realization. Why do you keep on tapping them? Off the Danibus, yeah.

I don't know anything about, I even wrote this down. How many days in a row were you on the weed? 85. I'm intellectually useless when it comes to all facets and branches of the US government, politics, geopolitics, international affairs, finance, economics, the stock market, automobiles, home maintenance, general assembly, landscaping, construction, architecture, infrastructure, ice hockey, the art of film, literature, the actual study

of music, just the history of music. I don't know any instrument or how they work. Any branch of science beyond K-8, Chapter 1 bullet points, world history, U.S. history beyond the basics, anything to do with outdoor activities or forestry or mountaineering or geology or manual labor, any trade skill, anything to do with outdoor activities or forestry or mountaineering or geology or manual labor, any trade skill, anything concerning oil, petroleum, gasoline and the like, anything to do with natural or unnatural resources, air travel, the culinary arts,

fashion, criminology, the climate, literature, things that actively matter and affect the human population. I am a coward and a bitch. Any remotely masculine thing I've done in the last 10 years is only masculine on the surface and was motivated purely by feminine Instincts and desires I am so petrified of confrontation and interpersonal discomfort that I'd rather experience incessant agony and solitude Or virtual solitude for the rest of my days and have a fulfilling satisfying and categorically thorough life With the conventional ups and downs of a privileged and successful modern man. My mother would disagree, but not emphatically.

You should start smoking weed again, man. Yeah, that it's horrible. I think most people don't know those things. I think people don't know anything. I watch a TikTok of a grown man with a wife and kids who's getting interviewed and he thinks Europe is a city and that we're like, oh, yeah, there's levels to this. Wait, but I don't know anything. Like if someone asked me like what what went down, give me the bullet points of Biden's administration. Not a clue. Right off a bike.

Nothing. Yeah, nothing. Just like, yeah, he was stupid. He was like, do you want to? I guess not. Yeah. But I guess other people are other He was like do you want to I? Guess not Yeah, but I guess other people are other. I don't know. I don't know Some of those things you what me you're you and you're like a top five percent No, like aware of things no no you are not a clue Like, aware of things guy. No. No.

You are. Not a clue. All right, maybe we're just, everyone's faking it. I just think the human mind can't have everything. Right, okay. So I think people gravitate towards what they like. Yours maybe are pointless as fuck, but that's okay. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. You know all the capitals. I don't know what I could contribute to society. Yeah. You know all the capitals. I don't know what I could contribute to society. Oh, I mean. Fuck. Yeah. Yeah, man. I could never help.

Shit. Yeah. Yeah. And then mook. What about you? If you're if that's your list, my list is just, I don't know jack shit about anything. Dude, if there was like, if society reset and we had to restart, I would just be there

to make snarky comments. I'd be a cunt, a professional cunt. And I guess that's what I am now. Oh no. All right. And I'd be dead. Yeah, you'd be dead. I'd be dead.

You'd be dead. Oh my God. be dead. I'd be dead you'd be dead. Oh My god, I'm a cunt for a living You know that serves a purpose I don't know I did yeah, I couldn't create it like if society started over I couldn't contribute. I'd have to be a whore I'd have to sell my body did no I probably wouldn't, I wouldn't be good at getting fucked. Thanks. What? I'm picturing like you being a gigolo and you're in a male bra.

I couldn't do that. And they have a line up of men. I'm not bossy enough. And you're just in like a genital flap. He's in a genital flap. Oh gee. The cloth weighs more than you and then we have Nick here available. I would be

Yeah, I just don't know. I'd be like the bogey whore. We'll toss him in. Yeah, dude. I'd be the coupon whore. Okay. That made me feel better. What's up? I have some news. I was trying to be more well informed

Kyle. Love it. So it's been a while since I did these, but let's see how it goes. Whoa! Move over, Labradors. For the first time, golden doodles are the more popular dog breed in two states, Idaho and Utah.

A doodle being popular? That sounds like it would be a good segment for the audio-based Anus podcast. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's been our shit. Yeah. That sounds like it would be a good segment for the audio based anus podcast Yeah, yeah, that's been our shit. Yeah in karate news You know On the C-span drop down in karate news a youth tournament ended prematurely as a misbehaved kid kicked his opponent as he was in the middle of his bow.

Rude boy cutting off bower? Comments aren't gonna like this one. Ha ha ha ha! Ah, that's true. Lizzo stunned at the Met Gala this week I wish we could pick I wish Lizzo stunned at the Met Gala this week I wish we could pick the brains of her designers as the struggling anus podcast would really appreciate knowing where they got all that material Lizzo fans don't have a cow. I won't utter another word about her.

I appreciate her effort. No disrespect to Lizzo. She is a Grammy winner. And I bet when she heard she won a Grammy, she said, now all I need is marshmallowy and chocolatey for a smorey. I love these. It's been a ton of complaints over the new batch of Xbox Series S controllers as gamers were saying the shoulder buttons are shooting off. Button shooting off? What is this? Violet Beauregard's shirt as she inflated after chewing a three-course meal gum yeah And then I didn't finish this when activists in Berlin build tree houses to protest the build of a Tesla factory Saying pollution will affect the nearby water supply something about limbs and water and then shark

Hamilton There we go. Yep news. I'll bring it back. Finally back it felt It's I don't know That took too long to do six shit jokes Those made me laugh uproariously uproariously a thanks man. We were doing that uh That it's hard to do laugh uproariously No, creating those. Oh, did you try? I tried, just like they're half. So you just got news headlines.

Some headlines, we can just talk about them. Cool. Anna Nicole Smith's daughter, Danielle Lynn, wore one of Janet Jackson's dresses to the Barnstable Brown Gala with her father, Larry Burkett. That's just something I thought Rudy would like to know. That is interesting.

I like this one. A South Carolina woman is suing a Merle's Inlet Nail Salon alleging that employees performed a pedicure that caused a bacteria infection in her feet, which ultimately led to one of her big toes needing amputated. She got a bacteria infection all over her feet and her big toes amputated? Hell nah.

Even my scammin' ass wants this stanko to keep her nine digits censored. Yeah man, it's really fucking good. Drake's on Instagram talking about Link in bio. Yeah, his link is in bio. His sneaky link is in AP bio. She needs a four on the final to get into Regina Tech. Kendrick said Drake acts too tough. Shit, Drizzy's girl said the same damn thing.

Drake, ACT's too tough. Fuck college, baby. Drake has a secret daughter. Yeah, his secret daughter is the chick who turns the top of his lowercase eyes into little hearts when he's not looking. Would it kill you to mix in a flower? She puts parentheses around the you in favorite.

Draco talking about scared Potter? Bro, Barty Crouch Jr. transformed you into a ferret and dropped you down Gregory Goyle's pants. Bro, you a bleached head trouser, wrote it. You should be scared of all the coyotes badgers and birds of prey in your general vicinity. What the fuck are you doing? Hillary Duff welcomes baby number four daughter towns meadow bear.

Towns meadow bear? That name is dumb as fuck. Oh you're good at these shit. Autistic teen who beat teaching aid over Nintendo Switch confiscation sues school for failing to meet his needs. Autistic dudes can beat AIDS now. Jenny, I promise I don't need a condom. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Looking into it, the teen is an 18 year old boy, over six feet tall and 270 pounds and

that teaching aid is a 59 year old woman. That's really fucked up. That's Aaron Donald walloping Paula Abdul. Stonic superstars. Internet outraged after Netflix cuts Kim Kardashian being booed at Tom Brady Rose. Damn, y'all mad that Kim Kardashian's boos were cut? Well, shit, Chris Humphries was trash, Reggie Bush was washed, and Miles Austin was putting up goose eggs on the Eagles. Yeah, her boos deserve to be cut.

What are you doing? That was a bar. Pokemon Go players invent fake beaches on real maps to catch rare wigglets. Yeah. I just want you to talk about that. You want me to talk about wigglets? What is that? So wigglets are like a diglet, but I don't know why I'm doing this to you.

Wigglets are like a diglet. I saw it, just a single appendage coming out of sand. Wigglet, it's a long white and it got a pink, rosy nose. And they're only- Coding fake beaches. So you can only catch them on beaches, on coastlines. And that's not very fair. So if you're in like Iowa, they're at- The battle between rural livers and Pokemon Go,

is a tale as old as time. It's Sunni's Shiites. It's- Okay. Well don't the rural people have advantages with like forest types? No. Oh. No, if you go rural people have advantages with like forest types no No, if you go to New York City, there's Pokemon every centimeter if you back in Wheeling We would have to drive to catch a fucking Psyduck

Okay, I get there. I actually catch one every 20 minutes. I respect that move So yeah, they're coding in beaches because wiglets new to the game every time they put a new Pokemon in the game people get crazy I haven't played since I moved to Chicago though. You're off it off it. Yeah, well is You're off Pokemon go. Oh, yeah, I'm playing just the game now on my phone Is this due to being a taken man and like the you know the implications of like how that comes across to your partner? Yes, I can't let her see yeah. Yeah, I cannot let her see and I get it. Yeah. Yeah, do you hide shit from your girlfriend? everything Literally everything

Respect that yeah, yeah, that's tight. Does she know your middle name? Yeah, I'm sure That's not something I would hide, but like anything I actively do or think is. Buried. Yeah. Do you like watch the shows you wanna watch? Our hit rate on mutual interest in the show is like 5%,

but it's like fun to try new ones out. We just tried Acapulco on Apple TV. Rave reviews across the internet, the worst shit I've ever seen. Really? Yeah. I'm in the middle of Desperate Housewives, season three. I come home. That's the shit we can do.

And I feel like that's the case with you. I come home and I say, let's boot up the girlies. I call them the girlies. Yeah. She looks at me as a friend. Yep. But like, I- Do you each have your own blanket when you watch?

Yes. Yeah. This is in the case. It didn't start with Desperate Housewives. It started with Vanderpump Rules. Yes. But I'll slide in the door. You guys went through with The Bachelor.

I'm like yodeling it now I'm like, let's boot up the girlies I'm in that with two sex in the city material, but you're alone No, no, no didn't watch it. I'll watch one episode alone Other ones are you at a partner? Yeah, I think I'd girls. Okay sex in the city with I'm glad cuz I just started Yesterday or two days ago. You started Sex and the City? Yeah.

It kind of goes. I finished that over Christmas. It's an E. It's a fun... You did? Yes, I told you guys this. It's a fun watch. You guys gave me shit for watching. Oh yeah.

It kind of goes. It's a fun watch. Yeah. That's what it is. Carrie's a bad woman. She's just fucking around. But the Desperate Housewives, the girlies, no moral compass. That's what I like.

Besides Susan, who I'm naming, that's why I'm naming, I'm getting a Cavapoo and I'm naming it after her. You were getting a dog. I've said this, yeah. Okay, Suzy. Susan. I like Suzy. Okay.

I was like, Nick, Nick. Yeah, it was like the first thing I watched was Bradshaw or someone else in the show, like at a cunt museum like at a at a cunt museum She was at a cunt museum? Dude who paints cunts. Yeah, and I was like yeah, she's nauseated by it She ended up po- she- Charlotte volunteered her cunt. You know this? Oh yeah, you all watched this? She volunteered her cunt. I might have watched it twice. Yeah, Charlotte the baddest of the bunch She yeah, she was better than- well you guys need to to go Desperate Housewives, cause Eva Longoria,

having an affair with her gardener, John. Ooh. Yeah. I wish Brad, I wish Parker was Longoria. Make it a little bit more fun. Yeah, Parker is... Yeah. You said it, yeah. Yeah, face like the bottom of a shoe.

Mm-hmm. Husband's a murderer. Yeah, face like a bottom of a shoe Husbands a murderer In real life yeah her husband is Matthew Broderick The Honda killer he got drunk. Yeah, I don't know anything and just drove on the right side of the road. Yeah Oops I get it It would fuck me up to yeah there's a lot of people have killed kailin Jenner yet a vehicular someone

who's someone that I wouldn't know that has killed yeah um Marcus Alonzo who's that sounds like an athlete soccer player don't know you're manslaughter Danny Heatley vehicular manslaughter a lotley vehicular manslaughter a Lot of vehicular manslaughter. Yeah, that's scary and fucked up. Mm-hmm Have you seen the internet outrage like people are just posting bears raping other bears now AI bears cuz so it started with Whitney

Yeah, no, it's become a thing now. It's just a thing where bears are like people are just posting a eyes of bears getting fucked I Now it's just a thing where bears are like people are just posting a eyes of bears getting fucked. I Didn't know that was a there's an outrage bears getting fucked bears fucking other different. Oh bears fucking Bears fucking other bears both What is the what point are they getting across that it wasn't? Consensual sex between the two AI as a joke no oh like this is a lesson on consent They are up in arms that it's depicting. It's a joke. No. Oh, this is a lesson on consent. They are up in arms that it's depicting. It's a joke about

the Bruins raping the leaves, leaves. But the the the rape was implied. It was crying and had a purse. That was tough. But getting mad over an AI. you can't have like you know Yeah, real emotions over that so I'm gonna name a cartoon bear and you rank where they would If they would rape or cat okay? Yeah, or give can ask for consent or blurred lines

Drunken night got it as he's on sorry not that's not a bear at all no, but that's that's an Indian man Yeah, but a blood blood Oda gone Robin thick there Yogi bear I Actually don't know anything about Yogi bear Okay, I know Yogi bearer What about I don't know who came first in that naming assignment.

I think Yogi Bear came first for sure. I actually don't know. Is that his real name? I'm intellectually useless when it comes to anything that fucking matters in conversation. Whimsical? Goofy? He's goofy. Jolly. Ditsy? Go to the next. Whimsical goofy or he's goofy kind of like ditzy ditzy Go to the next any of the care Bears They shot rainbows out of their stomach. I believe go to the next you don't know any bears

I know I know a lot name a cartoon bear Paddington. Okay Paddington Consent pest yes, what asked me would ask me in te tiered consent he was like can I kiss you? Can I go can I kiss you in your neck now? I can I go down to your belly. It's not a belly, but I Can I go down to your who? Annoyingly consensual mm-hmm. Oh, so name bears. You know cuz I bet you are bare Venn diagram doesn't overlap much okay, Ted Ted would be so horny to fuck me. He'd create a whole new hole Joe Budden said one time There's a 2012 tweet. He said he just said I'm so horny I could create a whole new

You know that shit you know 2012 Joe Budden tweet yeah Ted yeah Ted would get it So it makes so much sense. It's the perfect description of of how horny you could be intensified horny Yeah, just like fucking like Like a drill bit piercing through shoddy balsa Shoddy balsa sounds like a female rapper yeah He was another fucking bear. There's a lot of cartoon bears the country bears That's not cartoon Yeah, that's not card smokey the bear smokey the bear. Oh key not cartoon. Yeah, that's not cartoon.

Smokey the bear? Smokey the bear. Consent. Consent, yeah. Poo? Good fuck. Poo bear. Poo bear would be like... Me, he'd be like...

What would he be like? He's pencil tight, but he's ready. He's pencil tight, but he's ready. Seeing Pooh Bear fucking would be funny because he keeps the, he has the shirt on no pants. So like when he's fucking, do you think he does the shirt under the chin? We've all been there. The ski suit. Yeah. My friends used to call that like the ski. Well, he doesn't really quite do that.

The ski suit is when you just go pants down a little bit, shirt up. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, just a little, little area. All you need. This is when you like don't want to change shirts afterwards. Yeah, exactly. I've never done it. I don't think I have either. Mook?

Yeah, I fuck exclusively with the shirt on. Like long sleeve Sweatshirt doesn't matter fuck with a sweatshirt like a crewneck been there done that hoodie. Yeah, hoodie Yeah, I've done a hoodie. You probably look like a boxer after cutting weight Walking out to a fight Keep the new balances on yeah, yeah, Kyle the Bernstein Bears Berenstein the Bernstein Nick what do you think uh? No, they're too wholesome. Yeah, I can't think of any Ted Ted

Who? What's the serial mascot bear on golden grams? Oh? Yeah No one knows about him. Yeah, but I think that's Vince McMahon get out here you rapist What's the serial mascot bear on Golden Grahams? Oh yeah. No one knows about him. Yeah, but I think that's Vince McMahon, get out here you rapist. Yeah, he would get it. He would get it. Yeah, I think bears, when it comes to animated animals that wouldn't ask for consent, it's Pepe Le Pew, the skunk. Oh my god, yes.

I think that he's number one on sex pest animated. I can't really, Johnny Bravo, but he's not an animal, he's just animated. He should be in prison for a long time. A long time. I think every episode he did. Johnny Bravo was him just forcing himself on women just walking up and kissing their neck mm-hmm Oh, he would do that. Yeah, I think you just go up kiss their neck Shit

What about Pepe Boomba Boomba Boomba no he's too dumb Boomba get like he's fat, and he's like jolly He's like at the party take another shot. Mm-hmm Yeah, he's trying to like weave make it like a joke and then Yeah, definitely definitely they should just remake Pepe Le Pew as an Indian guy That's it what was Pepe Le Pew I don't even know what he was the skunk oh he was Yeah, he was fucked up damn the magic getting

Sprayed by a skunk like what had been that would be like a good moment I got sprayed by skunk. I think as a kid in Canaan Valley. Yeah as a kid It's good place. I threw a nerf ball out of skunk. It took a bite out of it and then sprayed me Did you see the spray? No It was like I was walking away. Yeah So I threw the Nerf ball at it You know I was tormenting an animal and then I turned away to walk back It was like my dad was at this work conference, and I got fucking skunked day one

He was so fucking mad you have to do like it's and I was like a beetle stuck on my neck that same weekend That's hard to do what? Was didn't do it on purpose. I would get it off immediately. I was like really in there I got it on me. Yeah, there was a lot of like ticks lice skunks going around and then that shit ends What do you mean? Yeah, like why was that? Exclusive to our very early childhood. We just live in a city now. We were like 15 not doing that. You're right.

That was like only seven to 10. I think that- Six to five to 10. I think maybe we lost interest in wildlife. We have cicadas coming back. The worst ever, they're saying. Double. Double. It's two different kinds.

When I was a kid, I was unfazed by them. And then the last time they were here, I was freaking out. They'd fly in my car. They're huge disgusting. It's gonna ruin summer I've never encountered a cicada before they make it the loudest noise Oh, you probably didn't give him in the Rockies nah or stink bugs Did you get a look think about yeah, we were very except of that too. Yeah, you just pick it up and throw it out Yeah, you'd kill it if you squashed it would read. There was all over our house They would everywhere inside of our house would just be in the house.

Inside of our house. You'd be in the nicest, cleanest house. Yeah, yeah, yeah, those are just stink bugs. That's the last kind of thing. Don't mind those, those are fucking stink bugs. We were accepting of stink bugs. That's a combination. Populating the interior of our home.

Coating the homes. Yeah, we're like, yeah, those are just stink bugs. But like, that's a combination of the last two things you want in your house. Honestly, horrendous odors and insects. And that was just accepted. That's a combination of the last two things you want in your house. Honestly. Horrendous odors and insects. And that was just accepted. Yeah, they're all over the bay. They're all in the basement. They're lining the walls.

Oh, I hate those fucking things. Fuck those. So are we just fucked with the cicadas like there's no stopping them? You're not going to be able to see the ground. Fuck. It's horrible. The memes are are gonna be dog shit. You think so Look up a cicada meme. Just read me the font of it. Read me a cicada meme They're gonna be so bad Yeah, this might be the biggest event to worst meme ratio I

Knew the worst first one's gonna be, it'd be a shame. That's a nice nap you're having to be a shame if somebody re-re-re-re. That's funny as fuck. All right, someone's gotta reuse that. Kyle, day one. Wait, why was I so wrong? Wait, Kyle, that should be your next Instagram post

after like eight years. You should cicada post. Only when the cicadas come out, you post on Instagram. It Instagram post after like eight years You should you should cicada post only when the cicadas come out you guys know it's gonna be like ten years 2015 was the last that was a damn good one out Can't read this me walks outside on the summer day cicada in my backyard this next song is called Yeah, these suck dick yeah They are disgusting. I think if you pop off their bottom right leg, their head shoots off, it's like connected.

So we would have wars on the playground the first time they were out. I was never fazed by them. Yeah, our recess was cicadas. It was like snowball fights. Cicadas, stink bugs, monkey balls, and trees that smelled like semen

Everywhere yeah every like city planner was just put planting cum trees cum trees cum trees monkey balls cicadas Stink bugs we should do we should make a shirt like that like it's like the Beatles members That was oh My god Oh the 394 is the first three digits of the Hattiesburg, Mississippi area zip codes Hattiesburg Why is her population of only 48,000? But has a pretty crazy list of notable people who they got Ray will start Fred Armisen Okay, who you would think would be any be from anywhere, but Mississippi that would be the last place right? Ray guy he's like the face of guitars. Oh what a punters? Oh who am I think of nevermind?

Yeah, buddy guy Jonathan papal bond pitcher I think Picasso Nelson afro man and you tell me If this person was aptly named, what would their thing be? Van Dyke Parks What would they be who would they be like It would be like a conservationist lesbian I'm thinking of a black lesbian why forced to sit back middle in a Subaru Forester.

Why? Parks. Van Dyke Parks on the way to the Teagan and Sarah competition. Perv is short. Perv is short? NFL player. Perv is short. Yeah, Perv is short Purvis NFL player Purvis short yeah Purvis short Are there tall purves probably not

Yeah, yeah, that's a pretty good list Lewis lips Pro Bowl receiver for the Steelers in the 80s Good crew not bad for a town that small you have anything else on Hattiesburg Pro Bowl receiver for the Steelers in the 80s. Good crew. Not bad for a town that small. You have anything else on Hattiesburg? No, just majority black, Baptist, Southern town. Okay. Southern Miss, Brett Farr.

How the fuck is Fred Armisen from there? Maybe he's maybe just born there. Yeah, just passing through. He was's, maybe just born there. Yeah, it's passing through. He was in, did you watch Portlandia? No, I thought it was kind of insufferable. Do you watch Flight of the Conchords? Loved. That's, I get them confused.

Cause they're both wide frame, wide rimmed glasses guys. Yeah, Germaine, Clement. Game time. I just used this app this morning Yeah, I'm about to use it going to Atlanta at the Cubs at Here prop for cheap. I said that like a real sports fan Atlanta the Cubs at here the Pirates are in town, too Yeah, that's right. That's right game time You get tickets for any event music

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What was your financial situation growing up, Rudy? Excuse me? What was your financial situation growing up? His brother lives in a lighthouse, so probably pretty good. Parents don't let kids live in lighthouses unless they grew up wealthy. Well, yeah, he... You've been hiding wealth from us. Yeah, what?

I never even thought about his... What do you mean, been hiding wealth? You've been hiding wealth. You have a spiral staircase. No, no, no. Childhood wealth. And I don't have wealth now. It's not a spiral staircase.

It is metal. It is dangerous. It's the cheapest way... Nick's kind of lying to you. He has a beautiful home in this very nice neighborhood. All he does is shame me. All right, well it's Rudy's home look like that he grew up in. I actually have no idea.

I'll answer you. Oh, actually I can't because which one? Which home? You're a home. What do you mean? You're a homes guy? You're a homes guy. All you do is bully me about my apartment and my couch being so...

No, no, I'm talking about your upbringing. My upbringing? Yes. Did you have a summer home? Mad, mad, mad funds talking about your upbringing my upbringing. Yes. Yeah, you have a summer home mad mad mad funds Yeah, you had a summer home. You had a summer home. I didn't have dick. Did you go to a summer? I have that's the perfect response that somebody with funds. Yeah, wow, I never even thought I know I know it just makes so much Sense yes, your brother lives in a lighthouse is a dead giveaway He lives in the lighthouse part of the year and he gets paid dirt for that dead giveaway again

Yeah, yeah, that's he gets to do whatever he wants dirt. Yeah, he lives in a lighthouse. That's crazy Pretty sick on an island. I would love in lighthouse. I uh there was a windmill for sale when wheeling it used to be a restaurant and A really bad restaurant and it's I've seen it doesn't it's I it was for sale. No for very cheap I don't know you could go in windmills. Yo, yeah windmills are hollow fuck What that changes things? Yeah, I never thought about it. I know living in a lighthouse is nobular if that's a word is it not Like that of a novel yes, yes, yeah, that should be a word no or he brings his lady to it's no it's a bell

novel novel and Nevelian Nevelian no, it's not a word god damn it like that of a novel No, it's not a thing. Okay. It's a word. We got to make that a word I didn't grow up with much funds because I was like thinking when you're doing that video game thing right now Rudy and Like games we liked growing up. Yeah, and I liked like I would go to Value City to buy my video games you remember value City value City was next to Ames which was halls

It was a free popcorn was next to Ames and was next to fashion bug which was the overweight women shopping store Which is a bad name next to fashion bug which was the overweight women shopping store, which is a bad name fashion fashion bug Did you guys have fashion bugs for forgot about fashion? I never stepped foot in there guys have big and tall stores and girls have fashion bug and lane Bryant and Torrid towards for younger big girls like edgy big girls towards for younger big girls like edgy big girls Tord to rid like eat gothy like gothy yeah, gothy rotunds like a hot

New genre gothic rotunda sounds like something you would find in Transylvania or It's either Transylvania or Transylvania, which is a rotund goth hairy Transylvana a wide topic. Yeah Certainly ain't hot topic Yeah Getting a chick a Lane Bryant gift card would be a funny Lane Brian is is fat is larger

Older women so it's just like moom Moo's which is also a bad name for that. Yeah, I think that's what you call like the big gowns That's the term for the girl But no I would buy the my I was thinking of like my favorite PS2 game And I don't think any other humans ever played it. It was a Robin Hood game that I just didn't understand I don't think any other humans ever played it. It was a Robin Hood game that I just didn't understand. PS2, I think PS2 put out so many games. So many games, it was a Robin Hood game. I remember arching from this tree branch

and then the rest of it was just like chess. And it was the only game I had for a long time. I'm picturing a big oversized chess board that I played a demo game of. Okay. But I don't think that was it. But it was like one of those things, like I think I was the only person to ever play it.

You probably have a lot of those titles. You think, yeah. I never had GTA, but I had State of Emergency. Did you ever play State of Emergency? No. You were just a mass shooter in a mall. What? Yeah.

Okay. And that was it. Was it, could you punch women? You could rip off their heads and then use the head as a weapon. All the better This is yeah, I don't ever heard of that. Yeah, I got all those at value So I want a GTA so bad my mom wouldn't let me have nothing even close

I was like playing Simpson's I borrowed my neighbor Jennifer my babysitter who was just like an older girl She went to Westminster College The three PA yeah, and she had GTA 3 for some reason, and I was allowed to play it on mute when she babysat. Oh my God. On mute? Yeah. So you couldn't hear the hookers wailing? I could still see the hookers blood

as I bludgeoned them with a fucking tire iron. My method was golf club. Yeah, I don't even remember, but. That was like, yeah, of course, we should not have been allowed to play that. There was like an uproar of just like, the games aren't bad. Those were bad for like children.

Yeah, it was all just beating women. Baseball with weapons. Not even you. You couldn't do use your fists. That was like when video video games, it went like, OK, this game is is pong. And then then it got to sports and then right to to hitting girls. Yeah. Yeah. That game just taught us that punching women was tame. Yes.

Tame as hell. Yeah. You gotta shave your inner thighs. What? No, actually my pants rub against my hair to where it stopped growing. I have natural, you shave your inner thighs? Yes, yes I do.

I'm horrible for, wait. They just, it's so much and it's right there you get whiskers like down Do you get thigh whiskers so peach fuzz? Yeah, my issue is that like a bush? I got thigh bush I'll start shaving it but then the problem is that once you start you realize that you've created what looks like a crater of Hairlessness. Oh, yeah looks horrible. It's like the guy that shaved his hands before the date. Do you ever see that? Yeah It's like the guy that shaved his hands before the date. Do you ever see that? Yeah.

4chan convinced this guy or Reddit convinced this guy to shave his hands before a date because they were too hairy. And it was just like a perfect, it was like, what do I do? I fucked up because it looked horrible. Yeah. Oh yeah.

That's why one of the reasons I got off weed. Why? I used to sit in such a stupid daze that I shaved everything Two hours later go back in the bathroom Tufts of pubis The perimeter of my toilet seat like Margarita saw all over I just forgot I did that Didn't even attempt to clean it up dude. I have you ever

Shaved over the toilet and then not flush the bowl and then you're the person that lives with you Fine, that's what I did I think I ended up finding it That is unacceptable behavior. I have black countertops when you shave you can't see any hair. That's what I need I don't want to see I just don't want to see it. Oh no dude, I'm just masking the problem. I don't want to see it. Oh dude, I shaved before a vacation and didn't flush and came home and there was an eaglet hatched in the center of it. Like begging for chewed worm.

Pterodactyl nest. It tried to bit my dick. Shit, you got Bush Gore, was that a 2000 election? Bush Gore. And dick. Bush, dick and gore. You got Bush Gore was that a 2000 election? Lieberman Why was I so like Aware of that election as a seven-year-old I was it was yeah, and then like the whole recount. It polarized our classroom. Like, Democrat, like Wheeling in West Virginia

was pretty split between Democrats and Republicans. It was at a point. I think in that era. But then there was Obama McCain and Wheeling Park did the election with the school, and Obama got zero votes. After the whole enrollment? We graduated with 1600 kids in the school. He got zero votes.

Wait, so you would do a mock election? With the whole school and then they would announce it. That's crazy. It was, McCain swept. 1600 to zero. It was insane. Big EOW fans. Everybody was so ashamed.

When he lost? Yeah, because he didn't get one. They announced it over the intercom We the most fucked up thing it wasn't my school, but is that my friend's school. This is a middle school They did a vote with the students of the hottest boy and the hottest girl Yeah, that's a little bit weird so no We've I have proof of this Our eighth grade class voted best legs, and the teachers voted as well.

Oh yeah. And Alyssa won. She did win, yeah. You remember her? Oh, she won my year. Yeah. We've talked about this before, but there were- You got zero.

There were, I graduated with 12 kids, and there were 20 superlatives, and I didn't get one That's what we got proof. Yeah, yeah, I have the fucking Magazine that's fucked. That's so fucked. Yeah, I won best dressed at my high school Oh, we had a strict uniform. So what did you do? I don't know you wear your tie kind of loose like the kid from school of rock Yeah, exactly called punk rock. Yeah Was like the dorky guy whose dad was real strict and wanted him to be like oh, and he was shredded on the guitar

Yeah, that's mooney ham. How do you I don't know if I would listen to the soundtrack That's mooney ham. How do you I don't know if I would listen to the soundtrack? religiously the school of rock school of rock soundtrack anchorman soundtrack and Howard Stern dude I had a CD of 99 farts They were all just different farts, and then I had a burnt CD of just the night Santa went crazy by weird Al and Oh weird I was big and yeah, but it was a burnt CD of just that one song solos and then I had the From lime wire I downloaded the song it was the song from when you get on your bicycle and Pokemon red I would just listen to that as well Are you still me my dad is the animaniacs Animaniacs were for for for weird kids Cindy Kaboo

Yeah, no, I wouldn't know as a weirdo kid weirdo kids watch Animaniacs cuz that was like on PBS or like WB kids named Skyler Yeah, and I was a you could tell a lot from like the cartoon the channel that kids grew up on yeah Yeah, definitely you're so Cartoon Network. I'm Cartoon Network Brother there's two then there's two leagues of Cartoon Network. What the fuck? He's like the spazzy ADD cartoon like the Ed Edd and Eddie facts. Uh-huh. It's been your What level are you? I? Don't even know I didn't watch I was Nickelodeon through and through a Little bit of Disney. I was never Disney. I never, I never. I couldn't comprehend.

I just didn't really like Cartoon Network. It was, it was too out there for you? I liked real shit. I liked docu-series. You watched docu-series as a kid? Yeah. Did you ever go to the drive-in? Oh yeah, in Glendale.

Yeah. It's a trailer park now, unfortunately, but it still has the screen, which is sick, so it's like this trailer park It's walled off. I wonder if it still works probably not those were so fun, but why it was nothing better. Yeah, it was the Yeah, I guess it wasn't fun. Nothing was better. Nothing was it was worse Mrs. Bectical yeah Chuck E Cheese Cheese pizza. What?

It's the best. I've been craving it lately. It looks so good. I've never had it. Really? They rebranded over COVID to Pasquale's Pizza to get deliveries open. And I think one of the gay YouTubers did a,

no, I think one of the homo YouTubers did a investigative, um, no, I think one of the, one of the homo YouTubers, um, did a, like a investigative, like are they putting the pizza back on the buffet after it's done? Cause the pepperoni didn't align, which is a real fat move. Yeah. I guess like across the country, it's notorious for Chuck E cheese employees to be really lewd with each other. That's like they all fuck each other Like in the Chuck E Cheese employees fuck each other. Yeah, like there was a big tick-tock of this fat girl talking about how Scarring it was oh She worked there and all our co-workers would like fuck in the locker rooms. I guess they have locker rooms What in the tubes the co-workers would fuck in the tubes gone are the the ball pits why because of that?

Oh because of fucking yeah They were they were by dirty and kids would always find guns in those right or was it razor blades There's always a warning about razor blades mm-hmm. You know what else other culture fucks crazy is game developers and Like computer program. Do you think Chuck E. Cheese employees a culture? Sounds like it is. Yeah I guess it is. Yeah but like game developers and like CIA dudes and like hackers and like web developers. Are those all the same type of people? Nerds are the horniest. They're all they all are like furries apparently like if you go to a furry convention it's like half of Bethesda studio

They all have fursonas I Kind of get its Furry conventions is the the modern age masquerade ball Mm-hmm I don't think it's I don't think it's as weird as people. It's been happening since the beginning of time. It's weird, okay I'll say stamp it as we no way dude going somewhere is a complete like with a completely clean slate nobody you're not saying I Respect it. Would you go to a masquerade?

What is that the the balls where you wear the mask? Mm-hmm? No, that's boring or weird It's not boring for me. Not for me. What is for you? What what what a lot of thing What event is for you? What event is for me. What is for you? What, what, what? It's quite a lot of things. What event is for you? What event is for me? What was the last thing you had to go to? Shit. I don't know. I don't know what event is for me.

One. One thing that you'd- I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Mook took me to a party. Yeah. You were there for one hour. Who told you?

Mook. I didn't- Oh, that was solid. That was church. It was a good hour. It was full- Full KB engaged for an hour. It was nice. You went and played pong? Did you run the tables? Beard Eye.

You played Beard Eye. Pretty fun. I don't know what beard. I is It's the best we should play more beer ball is the best beer balls good, too, but beard. I was very fun We had a big beer ball Like tournament at my parents house when I was in college, and we have like granite Countertops that ping-pong ball gets fucking moving out there dude on the paint on the granite on that on those nice ass granite countertops, that ping pong ball gets fucking moving out there, dude. On the granite, on those nice ass granite countertops. Skipping, dude, on the island. Yeah.

Dude, I was at fucking house parties on Wheeling Island listening to music with my phone in a fucking cup. Me too. In houses with no one living in them, all the utilities shut off. That's where we would party Yeah, empty Wheeling Island houses Hans's dad's. Oh you go. Okay. That was close to where I party And yeah, we would put the phone in

The glass cup yeah, cuz there was no electric, but there was a tunnel that led to the river behind the fridge Who's were you're you Nate's aunt? She was always in Spain Which is still sad cuz that was her permanent residence no You're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you'rehound track. If you describe Wheeling Island to someone, it'd be like, yeah, it's an island with a tropical themed gaming resort, casino. The Wheeling Island casino. Racetrack. It's themed like Hawaii.

There's a marina pool, but if you go to it, it's the saddest. Well, I'm getting a lot of Wheeling is making like TikTok slideshows of like people ranking cities. Wheeling, West Virginia? A lot of like Wheeling is a very aesthetically popular. Why? I mean it has like the Victorian homes, the suspension bridge, it has like beautiful pockets.

Just amidst. Smaller than pockets. Oglebay's nice Yeah, yeah, but the island is a shocking place Yeah, there's other what other River Islands are there? It's the biggest and populated River Island There's a Burger King That's that yeah, it was the only Burger King in town Hmm bad. Yeah, we should do a video there.

Did we go to the island where we went with Donnie? Yeah. What did we do there? We did a couple videos in Wheeling that got critically panned by a Wheeling residence. Well, you got banned from the Palace of Gold. The first one, yeah. I was like, I was gonna go there

when my girlfriend was visiting Wheeling over the holidays. I was gonna show it to her, because it's a cool place. My mom goes, oh, aren't you in trouble with those people? And those people have killed before. I was like, am I? And she was like, didn't Kyle call their god trans? To which you did.

Well, it was two women statues, and you called them the directors of the major I went on the Wachowski sisters and you said yeah, this is this is So we got backlash from that and then our next wheeling video the mayor got mad mayor Just destroyed us at comedy is hard It is we tried our best. Oh, yeah, dude. This was a long time ago Yeah, wait go to There right there there those are the gods right

Not sing that's horrifying. Huh? Go left about go rewind a little bit That one on the left is the largest statue of a trans woman in West Virginia Yeah, see that you just called their god trans meat like right off the gate and like it. Yeah, I can't call a god You were so are those were the glory all we did was lie That was our content. I liked it a lot. It was amazing Yeah, we got in trouble there, and then the second wheeling video We got in trouble because of what Donnie did What did he do he interviewed a homeless at the bus stop? Oh, yeah?

Damn I thought we made wheeling look fun. About as good as we could have. Oh well. So you didn't end up going? Didn't end up going, no I was afraid because those, there's a, no I'm afraid. Then what would they do? They would put a hit out on you?

No, I think I just don't want to be on their turf. Cause it's like a religious land. I don't know if the law, what's the, I don't know what the laws are on religious lands. It's just insane that there is an immaculate Hindu golden palace with the housing Hare Krishnas from all over the world in Wheeling, West Virginia. Yeah. Yeah. Did you ever go to school with any of them? They would have their head shaved with just the little uh, Anakin Skywalker in the back. No. Yeah. And we had one. John Marshall. Yeah.

Put an ad in right there. Yeah, I didn't have to do that. Oh man. You know when like you had a video game you only play the first level? So many, yeah. That's how video games as a kid were like, I liked it if I could play the first level. Bugs Bunny, Birthday Bash, I remember I loved the fucking first level of that. Sonic, I've never beat two levels of Sonic. I've never beat a game. You've never beat two levels of Sonic. I've never beat a game.

You've never beat a game? No. No. It's not that great of a feeling. No, I disagree. You love how it feels? It's a euphoric feeling. The progress feels amazing.

Outside of Pokemon, I think the first game I ever beat was Fable 2. Sounds hard. That sounds hard to beat. No, it was great. It was easy as fuck. It's a good one. I could never get by. There's a Spider-Man video game. Oh, I as fuck. It's a good one. I could never get by there's a spider-man video game

Oh, I beat spider-man 2 that one wasn't there a level on the Statue of Liberty Yeah, that one fucked my shit up. I had like a legit meltdown over that game I may have beat Kirby's dreamland 2 I liked that Yeah, I'm trying to remember. I mean I Kyle we got to get you to beat a game. I Don't think I could you definitely I'm so bad at that you could beat a one-player game. You could beat Skyrim No, I couldn't yes, you could I can't do those Adventure games you could beat Oregon Trail. No. I wouldn't put the time in you could beat Pokemon

No, I wouldn't I couldn't why I would bore me to tears It wouldn't man, I think it would I I'm the only game I've ever beaten when Rudy's doing Pokemon is put on his playthrough you come with you come to I would yeah I would love to mm-hmm. I think I could be Bloons. That's the closest I've ever got our defense one of the Bloons Being it's a Bloons tower you need it like you need like a guided fishing trip like you need like a charter so come along with us And then you'll why don't we let Kyle play that one? I like that you beat Pokemon red now I can't I just don't I just hate the concept so much. I need something like balloons what? Like that type of game like an angry bird. It's very yeah, it's very simple what you have to accomplish.

But balloons you're not beating. I think the original I would beat. I don't think so. Alright let's have me beat balloons. Alright. What about you? What are you gonna beat? Me?

Yeah. I've beaten games since. Okay you have yeah Could you be metal I know you're solid metal of honor no yes But I never beat any game and then Xbox live came out and that's all I did yep alright. Well you have to beat a game I'm trying to think what I could be What do you like? Like you want a fantasy game?

He doesn't know what he likes. Boggle. That's a board game. I could beat Boggle. No you can't beat Boggle. You can't beat Boggle. That's not a game you can beat. Scattergore.

Those are, quit it. Those are just Xbox Live with real people. I can't, a video game, okay, okay. Let's pick one out for you jet set radio future now about the matrix video game no could you Tony Hawk? Tony Hawk is the most fun. I've had okay, but I still I could not could you be a guitar hero Absolutely not can't move my fingers That's a hang up for most of these yeah, I know I'm so digitally challenged what about if it's in the oculus I

I'm done with what it'll I'll be honest the VR kind of sucks what? The games I still love doing it's the Wander app. It's just like Google Maps, Street View. I have a Rube Goldberg tinkering game that I play. That sounds fun. I just can't do the games. I tried playing a racing game. It was just like, it's just not quite there. I think in ten years it'll be perfect. I think it's there. Because I think if it was too real looking it would be that's almost adverse. That's where we're different

I'm obsessed with I want this to be as real as possible Where's your you know your creative guy? I like the abstract. I like that Yeah, but not you're we're different types of creating when you look at art Do you like art that looks like real life, or do you like? fantastical? Real. Really? I love art that it looks, you can't tell it's art.

That's not too weird. I guess not. Moog just googled college wrestling video game. Well that would sell in the teens. Someone did make one. It was so fucking bad. It was an app though. A college wrestling like- Oh, there was a card game too called Grapple or something.

It was so fucking bad. Tech Fall Supreme? Yeah! The wrestling video game you've been waiting for. Don't speak for me. No. Oh, that's gonna suck. Actually, that could be fun. Who's that on the cover Pat glory?

Pat glory. Yeah, these wrestlers are born to be wrestlers. You have to sign in to Vimeo I'm really hype about this This could be cool. It's gonna get a motion motion Tech fall gameplay. I'm sorry that we're getting visual here, but this is just This is for the podcast listeners. We're about to watch a dogshit video game that nobody will play He first saw us a little bit about Yes, they know they're fighting in Times Square. This guy went on a world tour promoting this It looks bad. What year is this?

Techfall supreme nine months ago. This looks like an n64 game. He's fighting a girl There it is a video game. It's this video is from the indie game conference in 2023. They're fighting like the middle of Tokyo Conference in 2023 they're fighting like the middle of Tokyo Take down green oh this is bad It's a very bad. It's a man fighting a woman. She's built. It's not fighting. It's wrestling But you don't play you wrestle wrestlers wrestle They don't play and they're not on, yeah. So this isn't like, oh, I have a game tonight.

No, I'm wrestling. That's it? Yeah. Yeah, wow. Take down ground, yeah. I mean, it looks pretty good. Does it? No.

No. I'd rather play with envelopes. There's a lot you can do with envelopes. There's a lot more. I bet you, playing with envelopes is way more complex than this. I was a mail supplies kid. Stamps, envelopes. That's it.

Oh. stamps, envelopes. That's it. Oh, dude. That's all there is when it comes to mail supplies. That's all there is when it comes to mail supplies. Oh, stamps. Oh, stamps, remember? And you'd peel them off and they'd come off in one... But they're expensive. Oh yeah. How many stamps did you have?

I don't remember. You were stamps in envelopes, kid? I loved going to the post office getting a fresh batch of stamps playing with them, licking the envelopes. You had to lick the stamps too. They weren't always adhesive right? I never licked a stamp. What? I think you had to lick stamps. They worked well they were sticky. No I think you had to lick stamps. No you had to lick envelopes. Lick envelopes, just press down on the stamp. No, no, no. This is day one shit. You do not have to lick.

No one was licking stamps. I think you have to lick stamps, dude. All right, first off, stop saying have to. So maybe say there's instances, which is still not true, that you could lick a stamp for improvement, but you, no. Oh, it's a phrase where you say you lick a stamp, but you don't actually do it.

I thought you had to, I thought, 2002 is when stamps had to stop being licked Really yeah, okay look at that say goodbye to the lick stamp Hmm there we go, so I was looking early. I was looking before you were fucking talking How old were you in 2002? Nine yeah, you weren't talking Yeah, only to Shelton Derek and Mackenzie you didn't talk to Carter not at nine He was advanced dude It's too sexual how old were you when you had your first conversation?

with a friend's parent after high school I Was terrified of talking to friends parents? Like a back-and-forth with somebody how old was I yeah come on Yeah, the normal age you think I was not conversing I don't think you were conversing not because you were autistic Because you were shy Yes, I was Chronically shy I would wait in the car for hours upon hours while my parents were in the mall IKEA restaurants hours upon hours while my parents were in the mall, Ikea, restaurants.

Passing people at a restaurant was like my biggest fear. Oh, if you had a waiter that just wasn't a dude? Oh, seeing a girl who went, goes to your school but maybe not in your grade, maybe a grade above in public. Oh! A girl that was two years older than you that was your waiter with your parents. That couldn't be worse.

The worst experience in the world. Because then you had to talk to her and like, did you say like, hey, how are you? No, I was not saying, hey, how are you? And I was, I was, oh, there was a girl in my grade. She worked at Hoss's before I ever had a job, Kiki and, and Kiki. And I was too embarrassed to order steak tips from her so I know I'm getting I forget what I end up I think I got like a fucking salmon Why because I was I'm better. I didn't want to see my shirt steak tips are for fucking toddlers, dude

Yeah, you can't once last time it was steak tips That sounds pretty adult. No, I don't know what is what is a steak. I don't know that. They're the little pieces They're pre cut up. Yeah, I can see we're coming from now that is childish steak tips How old are you? I was like a sophomore. Yeah, I've ordered these Couldn't order them from Kiki like a sophomore. Yeah, I've ordered these. Couldn't order them from Kiki. Kiki actually liked me. I was cool with that clique. What does that mean? Once I got to junior year. They liked me. I was like the goofy white boy. Okay. She was a part of the group of

girls that would grab asses in the hallway. I know. They would molest me all the time. I loved it. They never went to class once and they would just stand there. Oh, in the hallway. In the hallway. And molest the white stand there in the hallway and you less the white boy Yep, they would molest the white boy. They would find you you'd walk out of the bathroom They just be there with their arms folded and they would like they would part your ass cheeks, uh-huh When kiki and LK and them found out I had a pretty fat ass Yeah, oh man rap then they found out I had a hamster dick a hamster hamster dick sized dick not a hamster sized dick Hamster dick either be girthy and impressive or tiny

Already has a hamster. Oh, it's dicks the size of a hamster. No, it's the size of a hamster dick There are two different types of hamster dick and it's like oh Matt has a hamster. Yeah, Kiki and her cousin was Keisha make Rakesh a Mason I shouldn't be saying these names. They were grab a they were saying they were grabbing ass. They lived on the island Yep, there was who was the other and then you'd bump into him outside of school grab your ass. They didn't care. Uh-huh Yeah, that was a moment of my life that I completely forgot about until now and it's warming. It's warming Yeah, cuz they that was like when I push me up against the lockers and like pull my ass as far apart as they Good. All right. They did you dirty like mine was more playful, dude. They

Doing that shit my loveable squeeze my cheek was up against the lockers I'm like Tiki would have both her hands on my ass cheeks, and then her foot on my other one and like do that They would they would they would date me. She was trying to start a lawnmower dude No, it was like she was trying to start a motorcycle. She was like push on her oh Those orange lockers were Oh those orange lockers were I stopped pissing because I was afraid of getting spread God I can't believe you got spread. Oh, yeah, dude

Wonder if I can call Kiki I got her I got her back though. I hit a hamburger in her book once and she didn't know for the whole year Like the last page, and I just pressed it down cuz I was fucking so spread so tired being spread What's a smash burger wonder if I can call I'm gonna just Facebook search the letter K Cuz I think there was a few that'll I have kiki's number cuz I worked at Foggy Bottom with her She got fired for walking too slow Mmm, they're one I'm gonna call kiki. Do you have her now? Yeah kiki's not fuck. What if she doesn't remember me? What if she didn't?

Kiki Hey, what's up? I haven't talked to you in a while. I'm recording a podcast. I'm recording a podcast right now You remember what I hid in your book once? Do you remember Kyle Bauer To there's two there's two okay after the other Kiki was the other Kiki was. The other Kiki? Who's the other Kiki at park? There was another Kiki. Yeah, okay. Oh, okay.

Fusion, migraine. She was younger than us. Yeah, that's who it was. Much younger. But she, she. You and like, Keisha were like, you guys grabbed ass. You grabbed white boy ass in the hallway. I never.

Oh yeah, you did. I would not just go grab an ass. You would, oh, Kiki, you did. Me and Kyle both go grab an ass. You would, you would. Oh, we did. Kiki, you did. Me and Kyle both remember. I guess I don't remember. Whose ass did I grab? Everybody, you and your crew would grab asses.

You would get Josh Marino, you'd get me. Kyle. Not me, I guess. You would, you guys would fucking part me. It was your crew then. Yeah, it was a crew. Okay. Was it Keisha?

You'll see by association, but. You could have stopped it. I'll hear, grab an ass. It was your crew then yeah, was it Keisha? You could have stopped it All right, see you Kiki good I haven't talked to her in a decade Just two kids married yeah, and I do Oh man. We're really we we haven't That's like an eye-opener. Just like I called her to reminisce on something I remember well, and she's like I don't I don't remember Kyle Okay, I'm not yeah, I gotta beat the kiki nose, okay There was a kiki or maybe I got the name wrong That was the younger crew so So the younger girls would?

My grade in one year below. Okay. You're sounding like Drake right now. Shit. Kiki, do you love me? She, oh my God. She remembered the hamburger though. That's something you don't forget.

I don't get, I don't understand why. How do you, you said book or book bag? Book. You hid a hamburger in her book? It was a big geography book or like world history And I just went to the index and just fucking put the patty and I was like Smashed it in there and then closed the book it stuck. It was there for like ever Hell yeah, that's a good get back. Oh, yeah, dude

If if you gave me I will put red meat one of your books You don't fuck with me. You don't gate me. You can gate me. Once it gets to double digits, I'm going to retaliate. I promise you that. Yeah, she wasn't going to admit that. No. She's like an adult.

I hope she's doing well. I should have asked. Yo, Kiki, we haven't talked in a while. Hey, Kiki, it's Nick. Yeah, hope she's doing well. I should have asked We haven't talked in a while hey kiki it's nick. Oh, you're on my fucking show that you like assuming She seemed pleasant though, yeah, she seems happy nice call she seemed really nice for a girl who like raped you Yeah, didn't rape she stretched nice for a girl who like raped you. Didn't rape, she stretched. Bitch. And would you be wailing? Were you like... I would wail. Oh yes.

I would, yeah. But nobody like cared. Cause like it was just like better him than me. But then everybody got got. Yeah, it was a... Man. Everybody got got It's amazing. All right

All right, God bless God bless