A New Untold Story - Subway Map feat. Eddie - A New Untold Story: Ep. 442

Episode Date: April 3, 2025

eddie joins the show to talk bachelor parties and maps Ads: Gametime - Download the Gametime app today and use code UNTOLD for $20 off your first purchase Rocket Money - Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money at https://RocketMoney.com/untold today. Roman - Connect with a provider at RO.co/UNTOLD to find out if prescription Ro Sparks are right for you and get $15 off your first order Chubbies - Go to https://www.chubbiesshorts.com and use code ANUS for 20% off your order HelloFresh - Get up to 10 FREE meals and a free high protein item for life at https://HelloFresh.com/anus10fm. One item per box with active subscription. Free meals applied as discount on first box, new subscribers only, varies by plan. BetterHelp - A New Untold Story is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/NEW today to get 10% off your first month.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, a new untold story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcast, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad free on Amazon Music. Be last year that you would be an address like a young thug did it. And I was like, Rudy will do this. Yeah, because I'm so similar to you. You think you will. I never said that. I never said you were similar.

No, you know yeah that's you added that oh I guess because I'm exactly like young exactly because young told You still doing interval sprints? Yeah, they're getting easier. Dude, you do get way better at it. Kind of fun. It is. I'm growing into it. At first, it's brutal.

But then you sort of feel like it. The nice thing about it, too, I guess, with all kinds of lifting, is that you feel superior. All right, a new untold story. Like, I feel superior. What episode? We're here with Ed. What episode number are we on? With like all kinds of lifting is that you feel superior all right a new one told story What episode number we on anus episode 442 this episode is brought to you by Apple airpods pro what wireless

Effortless are you trying to get free airpods experience the auditory witchcraft by going to apple.com slash airpods What you can't you I don't think we're allowed to do fake at we got room I try to intimidate Eddie and get in get a year Yeah, well, you don't know where spots, but Apple. I had no idea over the head. It's our presenting Oh really just air pods Apple air pods getting but um I would like a year supply But how many is that for you? ten So how many is that for you?

ten Do you lose a pair? I just figured out that my the find my app you didn't know about that I didn't know it worked for air pods, and I'm like looking at where all my air pods are and it's kind of cool Where all your pods man one of my pairs is in Blaine, Minnesota in the middle of a park One of my pairs is in Blaine, Minnesota in the middle of a park That's the pair I left at my apartment gym. I don't know how we got to Minnesota. I think that's fascinating There's a super week dude. That's really I would just like start leaving air pods around just to see what does that say? Frank's Air Pods Pro 7 mm-hmm and where what does it say under it multiple? Okay, yeah, you go to multiple locations. It's in two. It's on two different street corners in Gary, Indiana Split them up they're separated Damn, I don't know. I'll take left

The left and right are like three blocks away. Yeah Wow took them and rename them there in though. They're in, though they're in like East Chicago, Gary area. So you used to, your Apple name used to be Frank Fleming so you could fake text from Frank. Yeah. So now all your AirPods say Frank's AirPods. Yeah.

Oh. Dude. How many pairs of AirPods are in the wild right now? Those are the only two that are active, but like some, that means somebody is like using them and it's charged Yeah, so the left and right Return policy I know that if you go get them my friend used to sweat through a lot of them at the gym So he'd go to Costco, and he'd just return them every three months

Yeah, you have a that's a sweaty man very sweaty. Yeah He'd wear a vest on the air stair master That'll do it. Yeah. Yeah, just like you look cool. I just wanted to test the theory. You feel cool. I feel uncomfortable It's yeah, I don't think they're meant for comfort. It's kind of tied around That's no way that's any type of bulletproof vest any type of bullet. No, there's no Teflon He's got no plate. You got to put plates in it I guess but I don't know where they go I think they got it on Amazon so I don't think that they sell like true tactical gear but they have a tactical section on Amazon oh I need to check that out yeah so that's what I got this I'm already out of my doomsday prepping phase I was in

for like a week I have my go bag over there with all my books leaving in humanity again I don't know man. What were you doing? How were you prepping for Doom? I was like, I was looking at like water catchers like for rain water. And I don't know, I got real big into like G-Shock watches and just atomic time and solar time. And I just, I was reading about how, when like the hurricanes and the floods took out North Carolina, that there was this one dude that was a prepper and finally got to save people.

That would be the ultimate. I like bought the books that preppers recommend. It's all in there in that bag. I have like how to do dental work. I have how to do like surgery. But I've already it's all in there well the books that the books and then I think I have a Leatherman in there And some combat boots It's really fucking embarrassing dude, I mean I've said it before it would be

Dope it would be the best feeling to be adequately prepped for do you have any itch to prep Ed? Well, I know I saw recently that with climate change Chicago is now the number one metropolitan city that is at risk for tornadoes Whoa, I'll see it's something good about being nor yeah like tropical. Yeah, well typically it is We were always not out of the range for all that stuff I heard with climate change that this was going to turn into like San Francisco esque eventually yeah, but no tornadoes. I guess yeah Jesus what episode number we own four four two turn into like San Francisco-esque eventually. But no, tornadoes I guess. Yeah. Jesus. What episode number are we on? 442, it's an overlay for inland Southern California,

but I will go back to 441, which we didn't discuss, and that is the telephone code for the British territory of Bermuda, the very isolated tiny island of Bermuda it's crazy how popular Bermuda got Off the triangle lore just off the triangle lore, but it's like every uh have you been to Bermuda? No, who's been to Bermuda? I haven't but a lot of a lot of honeymoons mm-hmm, so it's it's extremely isolated It's 650 miles off the coast of North Carolina. That's the nearest settlement. It's surrounded by the Sargasso Sea,

which is a sea with no land borders. So then how can that be? It's surrounded by gyres and currents. Yeah, and it's covered in seaweed and it's dangerously calm. But yeah, the Bermuda Triangle doesn't have any like higher rate of mysterious disappearances than any other place in the ocean in the world. It just is a high traffic flight shipping flight.

Oh, yeah. And that were the Natalie Holloway thing happened in Bermuda. Oh, yeah, it did. Yeah, I think so. Is she still missing? Yes. What was that? I don't know know I don't know about was her body found her I don't know if her bodies are found her and Joran van der sleuth. I think his name. Yes Aruba oh, okay

Close Bermuda is the size of Manhattan with the population of Laguna Niguel, California, which is the 144th most populous city in California at 63,000. I think that's a crazy stat. It would be number one in West Virginia. Wow. That's where my grandpa retired. Laguna Niguel? Is that Laguna Beach? No, it's Laguna Miguel There was genuine anger and Kyle's response that you almost broke Yeah, you would think like if it's a coastal town with Laguna. Yeah Laguna Beach would be at Laguna and Miguel

No Nope Bermuda It's known for pink sand, pastel colored little cottages, tiny formal trousers, and golf, which is, you know, if you think about those things, what do you think? Like, what is that? Little cottages, golf, and pastel colored cottages,

tiny formal shorts, and pink sand I Don't know golf. I don't know what white white white people. Yeah, no. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's blacker than Atlanta No way a 52% black Well that makes sense like native no indigenous people. Oh So it was just settled by British people so did black people just went there black people are there Is that where they go when they see a magic trick? It was during the when the circus was raving it in the 1800s, but we gotta get the fuck out of here Circus was raving it in the 1800s. Oh, we gotta get the fuck out of here.

Oh, dude, this is Wakanda, this is awesome. You think your friend Sam has ever been there? He had to have been. He had to have been. Is it like prime golfing? It's 7% golf courses, which is a lot of golf courses. That's a lot? Yeah, that's crazy.

Sam. Lena Heddy's from, of course she is. Bermuda. Cersei from Game of Thrones her yeah I've seen her pussy. You've seen her pussy. Well. I think we've all seen it didn't she show pussy on Game of Thrones I don't remember that she's fully nude in Game of Thrones. Oh she did she show yeah Mm-hmm on the walk of shame yeah, sure pussy on the walk of shame I

Think I might have been a body double off damn. I know uh Amelia Clark did body double yeah Yeah, they did when she comes out of the hot tub doesn't change anything for me. Well. He looks the same Really doesn't change anything like if they get a body double It's a body that looks like it might as well be her naked in my head So that that implies that there's like stunt doubles. It's like I'm the titty double. Yeah, right. You get paid. Not a stunt double, but also depends on what you're doing. Yeah. Yeah.

It's got to be frustrating, though, that they get the credit for having their tits. Right. Yeah. You're so brave. Yeah. Like you're, you know, especially if they get complimented. Nice tits. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Bermuda. What else? Bermuda else Bermuda My favorite one of my favorite British Isles is it how many British Isles are there there's a lot There's like white man

Jersey Virgin South Sandwich, so some good ones South sandwich. So some good ones. And it is the smallest place, its country or territory with an Olympic gold medalist, Flora Duffy, the triathlete in 2021. Do you know what the biggest country, the most populous country without any Olympic medalist says? Oh, is it Asian? Yes, okay Is it India? Close they have they have a several but no it's Bangladesh. No shit Bangladesh has 170 million people Zero Olympic medalists and they haven't come close. Oh Oh no way not even a medal is not a bronze every single

Olympian from Bangladesh has qualified via wild Bangladesh, why are we bad at sports? Because all of their top youth athletes are designing H&M garments They're making Zara jeans They're making Zara jeans. I was like on our national sport. I think it's cricket, which isn't in the Olympics. I'll give them that. Yeah.

But there's so many sports and like barely sports in the Olympics. So their best performance ever was Ruman Shana, who won his first round match in men's individual recurve archery and then got eliminated in the round of 32. So was he, like, did he get a hero's welcome? Probably. According to rslash Bangladesh, I think they said their people are all built like hobbits, tiny and skinny fat. God damn.

And the one dude who ever qualified naturally for the said their people are all built like hobbits, tiny and skinny fat. God damn. And the one dude who ever qualified naturally for the Olympics was 2016, a golfer named Sitakur Rahman. He shot 11 over and placed 58th out of 59. So yeah, that's their best. Damn. We gotta get them an Olympic medal. This guy said Bengalis are low-T midgets. Damn. We gotta get them an Olympic medal. This guy said Bengalis are low-T midgets.

Damn. They're harsh on themselves. It's not only miserably hot, but it's Phoenix with the humidity. Oh my God. I mean, the people are unfathomably misogynistic. I think a woman tried playing a sport and they just burned down the entire slum

Is it a group of islands? No, it's it's I don't know anything about Bangladesh right to the east of India, okay. It's very jungly. I think they also is that where Bengal tigers come from. Yes Jai wolf. I think that they got absolutely Tigers come from? Yes. I wolf. I think that they got absolutely smoked. That flag is that flag off center bias like slightly. Oh, my God. Get that right. Do the best is the best marksman.

Their best designer is to get a center. Center it. It's like four pixels to the left. I like the color scheme. I like the color. I love it when red and green don't remind you of Christmas, Minnesota wild or good at it Yeah, yeah, good call that looks like a fast like a colorblind test. Yeah, it does. It's it's pleasant Oh look at the street We got to get can't see it freestyle

Rickshaw in the Olympics, they'd be so good. They probably have the Mad Hoffman of Rickshaw. Slalom Tuk Tuk. Dude, the mega rapid next game for the Tuk Tuk? Yeah, Danny Way over the Great Wall of China and a fucking Rickshaw. Gah-lee. No, I feel horrible. It's like it's maybe one of the worst places to live in the world. The economy is so bad. It's so corrupt. The density is, it's the most dense. Like I think Dhaka, the capital is the most dense place in the world. Like over Indian cities.

Yeah. That does not look fun. Yeah. They had this one tsunami. I was randomly looking up tsunamis one day and there's like some really bad ones. And then if you look at the death toll from One tsunami that happened in Bangladesh. It's like

350,000 people died. Yes, it was so dense probably. Yeah. I think that they just get Smoked by natural disasters if dying in a natural disaster is a one-pick sport. Dhaka is Michael Phelps dysfunctional mega city Yeah, okay little tiny break to talk about Game Time, our favorite app. I was just on Game Time yesterday because one of my favorite bands, don't look up their Wikipedia, brand new,

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No, but in Pittsburgh we're gonna try to go and then I also got pirates tickets for when they play the Cubs June 14th I'm going with my pops pre Prepped. All on Game Time. Yep, I'll go to Chris Brown at Ridley Field. Oh shit, all right. Don't try to take a picture with him. No, no, no. He'll be floating in the sky. He'll pick you up by your ass cheeks.

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Ed, have you, I know you've been to Turkey recently. Where else have you traveled internationally? Ah, Cancun, Mexico. Mm-hmm. Toronto, Canada. Okay. Do you have the itch now to check some more stuff out? You know,'ve realized it's not that big of a deal. No, you know like I think KB you have a fear of that, right? I you don't fear he doesn't have the ability

I don't have the burning desire because I go to it on VR. I check it out I'm like that's so cool But if I was there I would just be a little bit more uncomfortable a lot more uncomfortable than if I was in my bed On VR. I think a big reason people go places is to tell other people that they went places. I Agree don't want to be that that sour puss. I'm a big sour. Yeah, I am I'm with that. Yeah, I'm with that Yeah, my friend just went to Thailand. He's got back. Oh, he's a perv. That's what I said Yeah, and he had no idea or he pretended like was it a solo trip. He met one of his cousins there He met one of his cousins there. Her it was.

He met one of his cousins. That's what I said. What do you mean? You know, people are going to think, dude, he's like, what are you talking about? No, no, no, you don't you don't go to Thailand without knowing. That's what I said.

He was he was very steadfast that he had no idea that that was the... What did he go for then? He was going to go to Ireland. And... What a pivot. Monster pivot, yeah, but he's been there forever.

He's one of those guys that really doesn't get out and we always give him shit because he's such a homebody. And then he kind of did this as like a prove it, fuck you thing, like I'm going to Thailand Is he like big on like internet computer stuff or like no no okay? No. Did he go to Bangkok? He went I don't know how to pronounce it looks like fuck if you had that I do want to I would like to go There if anywhere what would brings you to that Kyle wants to fuck women with penises. Oh, okay? Is that is that what yeah? I never said that out loud

It looks awesome, but like then again like I can go to Hawaii which how much better is Phuket than Hawaii It's a lot cheaper though So I think people would say if you want to go to kind of like Hawaii, it would be the spent a lot less money go to Phuket Okay. Yeah, dick the cost cost is big. Yeah, but yeah, I think just to say you want to get passport stamps I just don't like I think day drinking in my early to mid 20s ruined everything for me because nothing compares no Dude, I would rather go to Dewey Beach, Delaware than most countries

Unfortunately, yes, I would rather go to know in an ocean city the easiest flight I'm with you guys on that like I feel like domestically like I'm kind of set to a degree We bumped into each other at Lake Geneva. We did And that's somewhere that's perfect go there. Yeah, we did. Yeah. So that's somewhere, that's perfect. Go there. Yeah. We were both happy. They had a pool.

God, weren't we? Yeah, we were happy. What do we need? Just to, I don't know. It's for photos. If you went to Italy, you're doing it. I wanted to see the Colosseum. Yeah.

I like the history there. And so, did you feel like it was worth it? Definitely. But there's not a lot of places that I I would do it. I want to do it I wanted to do Italy did it I want to do Tokyo as every We we need to go yeah It's like it's like pilgrimage for I need to pay my respects to a lot of a lot of things

Yeah, I want to go to Tokyo. I want to go to a lot of places Kyle if you were on your deathbed Where would be a place you'd be like man? I wish I went there mmm That's the thing do you feel like you have? outstanding regrets Like I should have done this No, not at this point. That's amazing. Like watch The Dark Knight and Goodfellas. The worst part is I just can't do it.

I'm like two hours now. Can't. Yeah. Not today. I'll put up maybe one day. Dude, I never rode the steel Phantom at Kennywood. Oh, you didn't. I've chickened out and I was like, I'll do it next time. I swear. They knock it down. Never. They knock it down. I feel like I need to see the Himalayas before I go.

Yeah? Yeah, I really want to see the Himalayas. The feeling of awe is good, but it's not guaranteed. Yeah, going to the Himalayas and being underwhelmed would be a really devastating feeling. Wouldn't that suck? Like a really devastating. Yeah, it is a phenomenon. I think it's called the Paris Effect.

I think a lot of tourists from Japan go to Paris and they're like what the fuck this this is just dirty and disgusting Yes, the Paris effect is a real Paris syndrome syndrome because Paris is so romanticized in Japan as this beautiful place and then they get there and hate and Feel this overwhelming dread that they fucked up and have been lied to. To a point where it's a syndrome. Yeah. The cluster of psychiatric symptoms. Okay, that's dramatic, but. It's not a tough blow for the Parisians.

Yeah, because like they're not used to the garbage this that. Mm-hmm. The rudeness. I feel it more with events. Like I wanna go to events, not necessarily. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's fair. But even like when you go to events or a concert like have you ever gone somewhere and been very underwhelmed so many times yes LA I know yeah remember

LA Super Bowl a couple years ago yeah weren't you so underwhelmed yeah there's a lot of like shopping plazas and I guess in my head you we've all built up LA to be Hollywood in this way it was just like this fantastical blur of like Celebrities doing nothing in particular, but it seemed majestic and it's not That's where my opinion shifted that trip Tell us of travel in general just to LA like Los Angeles like I agree I was with KB I thought that's the way it was. And then being there for a week and especially you wearing a Lakers jersey,

you're probably the full fit. Yeah. You know, yeah, that was. Yeah. I went to go visit my buddy who has a apartment in downtown L.A. Nobody really lives in downtown L.A. Right. He's he's a he's an odd guy. He's an interesting cat. He also married his buddy for tax reasons. Like his male buddy? Yeah.

Buddy? Yeah. Dude, your buddy's gay. Your buddy's gay. Your buddy is gay. But he insists he's for tax reasons. He's a closeted, married gay man. Whatever it is.

Your buddy got legally married to a man for tax reasons. Yes. Dude, being closeted but married to a man is really funny. Yeah. I said I'm not fucking gay, isn't closeted, but married to a man I said, I'm not fucking gay isn't that right honey Stick up for me once in a while Yeah Visited New York, and we were hanging out and he was telling me about how he like Met up with someone online and did some pegging so So I was like, yeah, that's right. Yeah, of course.

He's a wild boy, but he lives in downtown L.A., which is just an interesting thing to see. It is harrowing. It's like a Call of Duty map. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They have weirdly incredible Asian restaurants, though. That's not weirdly incredible. There's just a ton of Asians getting there.

Getting there felt like it was like the you're like ducking in and out, like you trying to a skit. It's like an extraction literally ducking. There's like pecking duck. Yeah Yeah, yeah, it's crazy. It's a crazy place. See I would enjoy dark tourism to was does that intrigue you guys explain? So dark tourism there's actually a Netflix show. It's only six episodes Kyle so you could breeze through it But like like Skid Row. Like it's fucked up. Sad, but that is something to me that would be like, I would wanna see that.

That feels like we lose a little bit of humanity if you're looking at the people. From that. Yeah. Like going to Philly, going to Kensington. Yes. I've seen so many videos, the guy with the camera. And I watch them too.

And it is, that actually, that makes me feel more than like seeing something awesome Yeah, but like is it a good thing like I are those people aren't looked at as human I wouldn't want to go to like depressing places in terms of like people are depressing but like Places like Chernobyl would be interesting to see Chernobyl's I'm sure whenever anybody lived and visited me when I lived in New York We were like a few blocks away from ground zero. I'd take them there I think that was powerful. I went to the Oklahoma City bombing area. I Think like hmm previous disasters Kent State I bet you had a lot of tourism looking at where people were shot. No, I went one tree you went

You know, there's plaques on the ground where people die. Yeah, I'm yeah, that's it's a plaque My dad like made us like pull over and we had to go look. Oh really yeah Wait, there's a tree It's like a it's supposed to be like a forest, but it's two trees. Yeah, I got caught smoking a bowl, but not inhaling there Down I went to Where the Marshall thing? The Marshall plane crash see you kind of shit. I went to the field in Pennsylvania where the plane landed landed

Landed hard Yeah, shanks, Florida. Yeah All right. Yeah, what have you been overwhelmed by or like? Oh, this is awesome like say in America and Something in America that I thought lived up to the hype Something in America that I thought lived up to the hype It's a good question let me try to think about that for a second I think New York City is is the one I think that's the city you think so in the sense of like like urban Grander San Diego is everything I thought it would be San Diego was set. It was perfect Vegas Beach

No, I say Vegas live the Vegas strip lives up to the strip, but then outside it's Vegas feels hollow Have you seen it from up? Ariel no, it's so depressing looking yeah Just suburban sprawl in the middle of a desert with no trees and it just that's not why I like Vegas is that it's like So so unnecessary. Yeah, it's it's it's um It's a achievement of capitalism. Yes, it is. Uh, yeah, but every time I'm in Vegas I commonly think about how densely populated it is and how people are doing the same thing as you and so many different spots Dude, yeah

I think about all the I think about that and I think like I like looking at it and just thinking about How many AC units are cranking sure like that? like it's just like weird it's like an interesting like Infrastructure thing to just look at isn't Reno further west than like La yeah, I think so it's something like that. I got both of those feelings in Miami and Buffalo I got both of those feelings in Miami and Buffalo Lived up or no lived up like yeah, yeah Miami for sure. Yeah, Buffalo. I haven't spent enough time I the culture like though the wings beer yeah and shutting down for the game like that's an all like though You went for the game. Yeah, we yeah game too was awesome, so

Kyle and I were talking like bachelor parties like you're a bachelor party pro Yeah, I've been on a bunch of gone on won't fake ones with Dana beers. Oh, yeah And then you're going on his real one. Yeah real one this weekend. So What do you look for? Like where would you have yours? It's a great question and I know I feel like I've said that a bunch but it's a great question and We've talked about this ad nauseam, I love putting back. Yeah. Oh my God dude. We are on vastly different sides of the.

Oh you sleaze ball. I promised God on the ferry back that I would never go again. I've never told, I legitimately swore to him. And not even that I sinned, it's that I was surrounded by it. There's a lot of sin there, that's true. But what if I showed you it like a different way? And how you guys did it, would you consider?

You were like three houses down from us. You were there when we were there. No, I wasn't there. You were there the week after. Yes, I went the week after, you're right. Okay, so Put-In-Bay has like four options. It has two pool, swim up bars, a nightclub, which is the most depressing thing in the world,

and like a street of bars. What did you do? Yeah, so during the day you go to the pools, and then at night you hit that strip of bars. It's the most expensive place we've been on Rediscovering America. Where, like, you know how you have to expense stuff? They did not believe, they thought we were ripping them off,

that like pizza was like $400 Yeah, it's it's not it's expensive yes, but it's because there's nowhere to go like you are constricted to an island But to me I think a lot of fun to be had there is because nobody's going anywhere You know like you're all constricted to an island. There's like that. Yeah, you know There's nobody gonna be doing their own thing to a degree where you're not gonna see them Islanded yeah, I think being constricted This is a good thing for a bachelor partner trapped, so I think it fucking sucks in every single way On an island in Ohio the people or like the atmosphere both?

It's what it draws. It's what it Described to me the clientele put in there. Oh, man Who's a put in Bay enjoy like people who go to Taco Bell during the day for lunch and eat in the restaurant? Okay, that paints a really clear picture actually. Okay. Dudes that want to go to Panama City, but then have that have not been STD tested ever in their lives. Okay. So it's just like, and then it's like a bunch of older swingers. Yeah, it's very old. We were in that. I refuse to go in that water water actually. Yeah, look at it. Come on Come on and that's right by a subway. This looks like Midwest hedonism It really was a lot of Pittsburgh Steelers jerseys tons, but the iron-ons

I feel like I just saw almost 17 back tats in that pool Yeah, a lot of Celtic crosses a lot of like Ohio State O's that are like Not symmetrical. Yeah, there was more cues It's an Ohio State O's that are like not symmetrical. Yeah, there are more Q's. It's an Ohio State Q. Yeah. It's a Bangladesh flag. The men are tough there. A lot of former wrestlers from Ohio.

The water is like, it's not a heated pool, but the water's scalping hot from all the bodies and come. You like it though. I like it. Are your best times in your life there So I think I've been three or four times, okay, I I would say at least two of those I've had a fantastic time okay, but it's like everything is about the group you go with right sure that is true So and I like like that's that's kind of the dingy side of it the golf cart

aspect of it is kind of cool I Flipped one there, and we couldn't put it on the video because oh did you yeah cuz I was drunk Was filled with college boys It was like one of those triple. I didn't flip it went on its side Yeah, you loaded it with college. I was just home I mean and like every college boy get in college boy, and I flipped it We actually work with the guy who almost killed the guy in a golf cart what who Lance now He's not he won't let me say cuz he was he's very upset about it, but

His name is slowly, but no No, we won't say anything yeah, he was was just between us. Yeah. So you just drive golf courts everywhere. Yes. You could have cars, but it's more of a golf cart kind of island. I like Mackinac, Mackinac Island more than Put-in-Bait. But that's like but that's kind of where you go with with like a girlfriend or something. That's it's too. I'm a romantic boring. Yeah. But like, be honest, guys, would you rather do something with it? It's I know I understand your your price

Concern, but it's still hell of a lot cheaper than like Miami, but if it's your bachelor party Do you want to go you want to cheap out? No, I know what I'm doing for mine. What are you doing? I want to go to a big-ass Renaissance fair and you know I get all my crew their own armor So like instead of like that like a groomsmen gift being like Ray Bans or watch all my grooms get armor No Nope and they have to wear that any convenience like what are you gonna do? I thought you would love that you get your own armor be etched in the back

I just got it out by Renaissance fairs Dude, you'll see some of the most protruding milkers of all time. That is a huge plus but like I corset milkers Beating off I don't know dude. It's like they just like there's people that are just too into the act I don't know dude. It's like they just like those people that are just too into the act Yeah, it's a Renaissance fair I know, but it's like this like weird you don't want to be like half-ass it But it's like a weird offshoot of like theater kids that just like no

I think these are kids that probably weren't good enough weren't talented enough to be theater kids No, not each hands not there. They were like the light tech best boys H hands not there. They were like the light tech best boys But I'll say good you're talking about college the most culture shock you can experience isn't going anywhere international It's going to a college that has Boys from New Jersey who went out of state to that college, okay? That's the first like that was more of a culture shock than just meeting like a Muslim from Saudi Arabia. Yeah, I remember I went out with some Jersey kids at WVU when I was there.

There was a lot there. And just hearing how rude they were to waiters. Just, yeah. The rudest people in the world. They're so mean and then they don't care about their surroundings since they're gone in two years. Like a 19 year old from New Jersey is the most dangerous person. They don't give a fuck about anything

They all had body counts that were like for that night that were higher than everyone Yes, dude, so they all fought they fought in and fucked Hourly there is the majority of them Jersey College kids that are outside of New Jersey their body counts are higher than women. I've seen They've fucked more women than I've seen According to that yes, it sounds like you're driving to Dothraki horde But then yes, like you'll see it out, and they'll do it they will do it. It's like okay. You're not lying there Yeah, have you experienced this, Ed?

Yeah, are the Southerners starting to revolt against this? Yeah, they're starting to try to push them back. They have to. The Bernerverse is fighting against this right now. They hate them. They hate the, they hate the East Coast coming down to Ole Miss. Because what's interesting is I, when I was in high school, I was a junior or senior,

and I really liked the University of Georgia. And I wanted to apply there, just because I liked the football team. My counselor, he looked at me. I was like, I like Georgia. He's like, okay. He's like, have you ever heard the saying, if you're not from the South and you're not from the South?

I was like, no. He's like, well, look into that and let's check out Eastern Illinois. I was like, okay. You know, so he talked me out of it. So did you even apply? No, he wouldn't let me. I mean, I suppose I could have without him, but he was very against it.

What schools did you almost go to? Weren't you close to going to Cornell? Cornell. God damn Cornell Lehigh, Old Dominion. Where's Old Dominion? Norfuck. I think that's how it's pronounced Virginia Beach area

That'd be cool. You chose the worst one By far I did Was it about playing time? A little wrestling time I knew the coach I knew some of the guys When I was there

I thought it was the coolest college in the world because I haven't been I didn't go to any other colleges to even visit okay like any fun colleges Lehigh Cornell like I don't know I must want to Marshall I must want to Kentucky oh Kentucky would have been cold Marshall now Kentucky I liked Marshall as the college atmosphere campus the when I toured it was like I liked how The football stadium everything was really close. The dorms were very nice private bathrooms. I was almost a schnook I almost went to Marshall because it would be easier to shit for me

Yeah, that's a big ass. Yeah, yeah, huge. I want to go to Arizona State. Of course you did. Yeah, you like putting Bay Yeah, I know I'm learning stuff. Yeah, you you're yeah, you're you Yeah, yeah me um But on the top of a topic of bachelor parties Kyle and I both constructed fictional groups that of bachelor parties And we would like you to decide whose would be the best there's themes I like it who'd you'd rather go on who's bachelor party you would rather be what group you'd rather be Like the lunch table would you sit at yes?

Do we have a place to or no you can choose the place okay cool? Do you have a place for your specific? I had a Option, but you guys can choose whatever you think would be best. Do you want me to go first? You want to go yeah, we can go back and forth um well. I don't know cuz mine has a theme yeah So my theme is uh the fitness influencer morning routine Are you aware of this head? Yeah, yeah, so you wake up at 3 a.m.. You take off your mouth tape you cold plunge you work out and have a healthy breakfast Like my boy Ashton Hall, okay, so

3 a.m.. You're with three Andy Milanox's. Wait. Three? Three Andy Milanox's. Yeah, three a.m. They're down to clown, they're not gonna take any of the hoes, and it doesn't take up more than one bed. So you're just there.

You're three Andy Milanox's. Three a.m. Mouth tape. Oh no. So who's somebody from a tape you gotta keep your mouth shut about? Boss man. No.

Portnoy. You're bringing a fucking Dave Portnoy. He's constantly fucking. Okay, in the act of fucking. Mid-stroke naked Portnoy. That would be convenient to have, you know. Just. Uh.

Cold Plunge, you have Ice Cube and Harriet Tubman. So you have like cube and Harriet Tubman So you have like Intimidation cool money, and then somebody who could probably lines too long they know another way in she probably yeah She'll get you in and it'd just be good for you know optics and and so then you work out so you have a Yeah, yeah, it would be good Yeah have a yeah yeah it would be good yeah working out so you Jim Jim Hanks the brother of Tom Hanks you wouldn't want to bring Tom Hanks oh he has a brother yeah he voiced his brother Jim Hanks is the voice of Woody for all of the non movies so the video games the toys sounds just like Tom. Oh man. But I think, what a sad dude.

Yeah, I know. But it's Tom Hanks' brother. Still, yeah. I've never heard of him. And then Healthy Breakfast, Arnie Grape and O.J. Simpson off a Nola bar, a Xanax they bought in New Orleans. So you have Leonardo DiCaprio, but you don't really have to worry about him

Stealing stealing. Yeah. Oh, you have Arnie. You have a great Arnie grapes a lot But he's off his hand. He's off a Nola bars off the yeah Okay, that could be fun like a good mascot to toss around For the group. Yes, that would be my crew to go on a bachelor party okay three Andy Milanox's Tom Hanks brother Harriet Tubman ice cube ice cube Dave Portnoy fucking fucking Dave fucking Dave fucking Dave yeah is that fucking I Imagine what the bouncer would say the date for noise in line. He's still get in The bouncer would have to put X's on her hands

My issue is I think I mess up the vibe of that crew. You think so? Yeah, like I think that crew is actually pretty strong. And I feel like I would be the, I wouldn't fit in. I think I would mess up the vibe. Okay. Okay, I love having the Andy Milonakis type guys in that. Like that's, the clown is perfect. The clown who won't intimidate anyone. Right. Or not embarrassed. He's not afraid to be the butt of the joke won't get mad mm-hmm

Doesn't take up much space ice cube is perfect for a crew. I agree based on credit. I Feel like telling my name problem One Andy is enough that might be a lot. Oh, well yeah, yeah But it does, I mean, you know. Two is weird, three is a spectacle. Yeah, you're right. Three, I think they could talk to each other. Do they speak at the same time?

Like in unison? No, no, that would freak me out. Yeah, okay. That would scare fucking Dave. That would make him go soft. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's right.

Yeah. And OJ on his Xanax. That's scary. No, I don't think so. He's less dangerous. Yeah. Scary. Yeah.

But like, he might be one of those sleepwalk killers too. Oh, he can't be fully barred out, but he's just like off a, off a peach. If that's what they say. Is that what they say? If that's what they say. A football. A very unique reference He'd be great

Jim I think he's probably funny. He's funny chill But like Tom Hanks would like it's your day Tom Hanks would get all Jim Hanks would not overshadow you he is like the You know like rom-coms like the fourth best friend of the main guy. Yeah, he's friend. He's a fringe He has one line the whole party. Yes, this is amazing I feel like I'd be able to go to him to if like things were going awry with the other guests Yeah, yeah, he's the guy you could talk to he's the mediator. Yeah, the voice of reason. Yeah, I think I think there's I Don't think that these paths have ever crossed Damn near certain

But I think there's a weird synergy. It could work. I think Arnie's perfect. He's a lot when he's not on the Xan. Yeah. I think he'd be mesmerized by fucking Dave Portnoy. Yeah, he might think so. Oh yeah, I think Ar'd be mesmerized by fucking Dave Portnoy. Oh yeah, he might think so. Oh yeah, I think Arnie could. Arnie would... Yeah. He might try to touch. Oh, Dave would hate that. Arnie, jump off the balcony, you'll land clean in the middle of the pool.

Who's saying that? The rest of the dudes. Come on, Arnie. It's right there. How could you possibly... Getting Arnie to do stunts and shit like that. I think he would draw it, what he saw. He would what? He would draw it. Yeah, you're getting already to do stunts and shit like that I think he would draw it what he saw he would what he would draw it. Yeah, I think so He would start he would start doodling it

Okay, that's a crazy fucking crude. That is yeah, that's a crazy crew. I mean Jim Hanks definitely is the chapstick guy which is important to pass out chapstick You need the guy like that because like chaplips on a bachelor party can tear through it No, I scurvy so there's three Andes right and then I could see ice cube Harriet and OJ team it up You know yeah, and clicks what why do you think that why why I just feel like there might be some cohesion there Nick You know no reason at all I don't know if Harriet Tubman would know I agree you don't think that they'd click. I think no. I don't think so She'd probably do her own thing. I think they look for the you know someone's got the same Jersey out, and I think oh, Joe

What happens yeah, you're right? You're right? You're right? You know and then if there's like a three-on-three type of competitive situation and arnie grape is trying to touch the girl that fucking Dave Portman fucking It's me and Jim Hanks with our hands in the air Yeah, I get it I get it so that's my concern like okay, so to Two beds to a room in the Airbnb who you picking Europe you have one who you with I? Think arnie you think so I'm think Arnie. You think so?

Yeah, I think I'm going Arnie. Oh, hell no. He's jumping back and forth to and fro from the beds. Yeah. That's just gonna wear off midnight. Yeah, but I like the dialogue, you know? Like I'm on my toes the whole night. Jim Hanks would be the boring room.

Yeah. I think people would sneak out without him. Safe. OJ's a terrifying risk. Yeah, you can't do that. I think it would sneak out without him safe OJ is a terrifying risk yeah you can't do that I think it might have to be boss he might be the best option to share a bed with he's not gonna he's not gonna bother you bothered by you and you're not gonna like and you're gonna get to like witness history but it's still a lot also like it's a pretty decent white noise

like the it's like a metronome can you imagine though you hit the lights and oh fucking Dave have a good night but I think you get used to it after a while well he's a standing missionary down at breakfast yeah and then you go up and you go to the bathroom at 3.30

and he's in the astronaut position I'd love it if fucking Dave was the one cooking breakfast for the boys in the morning crazy night, huh guys Have you like double bouncing like a trampoline Fine it's all good good you're saying Sharon once yeah you'd get double bouts god forbid he drew the air mattress oh my god yeah you're popcorned up

in the bed not yet now who's the guy that's the bride's brother that kind of just got thrown in by association it's gotta be ice cube. You think ice cube? I think ice cube is going to hate this group.

I think ice cube is. Yeah, I don't know, man. I think ice cube. I mean, he he's not like a hardened gangster anymore. Yeah, he's very mainstream Hollywood. Yeah. But I feel like there's like sunglasses ice cube versus non. He'll look angry, but I don't know I think I think this group works for entertainment Mmm fucking Dave the Milan office

Ice cube will be I think you'd be a time. It'd be a good time Tubman. I don't know yeah Tubman She's she looks like most stud lesbians Oh, yeah, I don't know she looks she looks like a rascal she she has like some She yeah, she would throw No, it's the second picture is what she's Yeah, I think she can full send it definitely good Yeah, I can see you're bringing up a tray of green tea shots need that person yeah, yeah, okay Yeah, it's my bachelor party

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Dog the bounty hunter. Yeah, rest in peace Beth. Five foot seven, formerly Bethed. Dwayne Chapman, who was married to Beth Chapman, his co-star on Dog and and Beth on the hunt I? Love that he's five-seven. I didn't know that Something about like a petite pink-skinned extremely blonde

White man named Dwayne that lives in Hawaii very racist who? He is racist. Pink, vintage skin. But he's my best man and he's gonna be, he's the bachelor party expert. He's gonna be planning and organizing everything. Listen, he has done it six times. He's had six bachelor parties in six different decades. Him?

So he's bachelor partied in dating back to the 70s when he married LaFonda Honeycutt. Come on. So Dwayne married LaFonda and they have a son named Dwayne the Second and all of those people aren't even close to black. Dwayne too is his son with La Fonda. Dwayne Deuce.

None of them are black. I know. So he did say the N word. Yes. But he addressed it recently. Well, somewhat recently in 2021. He denied that he was racist and said, I have more black friends than Eminem.

Come on. He couldn't even think of a black rapper. That's a ballsy prediction. Like dude, your name is Dwayne and you married La Fonda. Say that. I don't know, but he tickles me a little bit. I think he'd be, he could be too much for the crew. He'd definitely overshadow me, but I'm fine with that. What else?

In his controversy section, while searching for Brian Laundrie, Chapman was reportedly in a legal possession of a taser and made homophobic and racist comments. God damn it, Dwayne. What sequence of events, while looking for a straight white murderer, do you have to have a taser and say racist

and homophobic comments? But he did it. He managed to do it, he managed to pull it off. He got caught saying that? I don't know how that happened. Yeah, how did he get, okay. But apparently he is legit, I know his show was for show, but he has captured several high profile criminals.

So he's good. So he is good at his job. That's my best man. I do have a worst man. Oh no. It's Portugal the man. What? The band?

The singer? Portugal the man is four dudes and a woman from Portland, Oregon. Is one of them bound? That is not even close to being one man or the nation of Portugal. That is the worst use of calling yourself the man. And Portugal. And Portugal. And their explanation for the band name is even worse than the name itself.

What do we got? They wanted the band to have a bigger than life feel, but did not want to name it after one of their members. A country is a group of people, vocalist John Gorley said. With Portugal, it just ended up being the first country that came to mind. No, it didn't. No, that's not true.

The band's name is Portugal, the period is stating stating that in the man states that it's just one person anyone of the band members That is the oh my god So he's saying that the worst that the country name they picked represents a person but not a specific member Man, that sucks. Where are they from? Portland, Oregon Your worst there Portlanders the people Man, that sucks. Where are they from? Portland, Oregon. Of course they are. You're Portlanders the people.

You're not the man. There's a woman in there. Yeah. They're lying on all fronts. He said he wanted the band to have a larger than life feel. So he named it after a country. The 93rd most populous country in the world. That's so stupid. And a lie.

And it's a lie I'm concerned with this crew now is the wheelchair guy the singer I don't know what he does Appear so in that middle picture right just admit that you have a stupid name That's all you say you did a bunch of gay drugs in Portland and accidentally came up with a dumb name But um work that's what I think the the music is good and they might be good people. Yeah I was looking at the the lyrics. I've been feeling it I've been feeling it since 1966 now is the lyric okay popular his genius annotation the vocalist said

So 1966 I wrote this lyric mainly because it was the first year Like the acid test year what? What does that mean? I didn't get any of that This guy's so far on his own ass I don't know but their duties are just to be the worst man to make everyone else feel like better men. Yes That's that's good. It's somebody that the rest of the group can talk shit on. Then I have the Tolkien Black Friend. And that's J.R.R. in Caligon the Blackface.

Who's Caligon the Blackface? In Caligon the Black. The first and greatest of all winged dragons. From Lord of the Rings. Bred bred by morgoth the largest dragon to have ever existed in Middle Earth And Caligar How do you say it So it's him and J. R. R. Tolkien in in Caligar on the black face his

His duties are to book all the travel and adventure. He's also going to slightly resemble in Calagon the Black from the neck up with prosthetic black spikes, scales, horns and an overwhelmingly large fake jaw. But underneath he's going to be wearing a tank top and billabong shorts. J. R. Ritzel in his. But he was really like that. So back in the day at a New Year's Eve party in the 1930s, he would don an Icelandic sheepskin heart rug

and paint his face white to impersonate a polar bear, or he would dress up as an Anglo-Saxon warrior complete with axe and chase an astonished neighbor down the road. What a cool guy. He's going to be like the wildcard. OK, you need him. That whole monologue was was so hard to follow Yeah

So it's a token the man as a he's five five by the way And are you making sure you're the tallest at your bachelor party those you chose a guy in a wheelchair Five five J. R. R. Tolkien. I'veseven Dog the Bounty Hunter. Well, then's there. Then you have the brother-in-law. That's African-American lawyer Johnny Cochran. Who are you marrying? He's just the brother-in-law. Um...

Known for his theatrical flamboyance in the courtroom. He's rep Michael Jackson, Tupac, Snoop, Jim Brown, Sean Combs, etc. His duties will be the cocktails. The hotel mini-fridge will have the champagne and then Johnny Cochran's gonna bust out the OJ. There we go. But first mimosas y'all. Pop Clink cheers head ass Is it just me or does orange juice taste funny without champagne in it yeah

Have you ever heard him speak no, okay And then the wild card slash clown is Wolfgang Mozart. It's five foot four, a hundred pounds. He's gonna be wearing a shirt that says Kyle's Wolfgang. Also Wolfgang is the least one man's first name of all time. That's several animals. How is that a popular name? And even like the German origin, it just, the name is Wolf meaning Wolf and gang meaning path or way. So that, yeah, he's there.

He was fucking nuts. I didn't know much about him other than he's like a musical, like legend. Yeah, he was very insane. Composer. He was a remarkably small man, very thin and pale, with a profusion of fine, fair hair, of which he was rather vain. Nothing special about his physique. He was small. Okay.

He had a startling fondness. This caught my eye. He had a startling fondness for scatological humor. Is that shit humor? Which is preserved in his surviving letters? a letter dated November 5th 1777 to his cousin Maria and Thelka He stated he rhymed a verse well. I wish you good night, but first shit in your bed and make it burst Sleep soundly my love into your mouth your arse you'll shove

So he was on that shit. What oh what to his cousin he wrote that mm-hmm Then he has a cannon called like me she marsh Where he says like me she marsh? And that would be translated in English as lick me in the arse quickly quickly I could use that habit of my Spotify. I think it's like known as the world's first diss track no kidding about it mm-hmm Yeah, yeah, like mine are sure something yeah, so he's gonna sit double bitch. Let me take the ubers Of course he's tiny mm-hmm is that your crew and then I have Rudy Yeah, cool. Oh, yeah, it's a good crew

So it's it's I'm gonna annoy the shit out of out of Tolkien. Yeah, you would this would be bad Mm-hmm you want to show my tattoo over and over again, but he wouldn't yeah Did you ever illustrate it? I have no idea. Yeah, I have no idea is token in blackface, or he's bringing the dragon No, he's just got his head is gonna be a prosthetic dragons head. He's gonna be the same dude. Oh shit Yeah, so I think dog he would be able to get it like a good limo hookup for us Yeah, you know I think he has a lot of connection action for sure yeah, so I like that He's the least famous out of all these guys. Yeah, all these guys could get a limo

It's like a hundred bucks. You think so? Yeah But dog would know a guy you probably know the limo driver Yeah, yeah, huh, and he would like get the balls in motion I feel like he would bring a margarita mixer from home Like homemade or like like the whole like little like yeah rig thing. That's fair. Yeah, I think he would bring that I feel like he'd be have a case Mountain Dew. He would bring some odd items Yeah, I think it vibes wise these guys are all drinkers. Oh, yeah, I don't know Portugal the man is though Oh the guy from Portugal the man. He's also a visual artist who uses the alias the fantastic of the

But like a group needs that that's a crucial role to have somebody you fucking hate you sold me on that for sure We will all make a common bond over hate. I think that's important, and it's just somebody you observe You're just like oh my god. I can't believe this guy's doesn't realize what he is fun to get together like in a Separately and like talk shit. I think that's mm-hmm it is You know separately and like talk shit. I think that's mm-hmm it is But both gang I feel like we'd be able to get down on a good game of poo dollar Yeah, yeah, he loves yeah, like scatological humor. Yes, so like if we did two dollar that would be a nice Saturday afternoon Okay, you guys know pooh dollar, right? Yeah

Yeah, yeah, you know is when you what is it put a dollar on a dog turd and wait For somebody could pick up the dollar yeah, so when people walk by Yeah, he would love that is the dollar on top of the turd or below it on top on top the turd Reverse poo dollars The guys reaching out to pick up the shit, and he's pissed that there's a dollar I don't know what the hell Reverse two dollar yeah, where do you think word Kyle? Where do you think this group would be would be most effective like what location what place I was thinking the Isle of Man

Scotland It is in between Ireland between Ireland and England But it's it's part of the UK. But every year they have this motorcycle race called the TT. I want to go. And it fascinates me because there's been 266 deaths, which equals out to almost two deaths per year. So there's essentially a guaranteed death every race.

So all the motorcycle drivers will go to the bar before the race and they'll like toast to me like one of us Is dying tomorrow? Yeah, they like recognize that fully And the motorcycles go as fast as you can imagine fucking meresha's mom lives on the mom lives on man I had no idea we need a clown meresha for living full-time on man I've always been faster. I a move to man on man not even seasonally year round every summer of the day another fun fact about Isle of Man they have a subway do they sandwich shop yeah I thought more fun would be transit. No! The transit. That's way less fun. Of course they have a small little sandwich shop with very small overhead.

But when I was looking at the subway map once upon a time... Jesus Christ! What subway map are you talking about? Surely you mean the transit this time. The sandwich again. The sandwich shop map? Yeah, listen. They're everywhere. What does that map look like? That's my point, Kyle.

I was like, where are these fucking subways? They're the largest transportation. You're looking at a subway map. They're in every town. But that's what's amazing. How are they getting that fucking ham? Even man? How are they getting that fucking ham to Isle of Man?

Dude. You've never thought about that? Is that the Isle of Man subway? Ed, you gotta go. Yeah. Dude, I'm telling you, I've always thought, and Isle of Man subway? Ed, you gotta go. Yeah, dude, I'm telling you, I've always thought, and Isle of Man was always my example because I'm always enamored,

or I don't know if that's the right word, but I'm always in awe of how many subways there are because it's the biggest chain in the world. I agree with that. And I was like, Isle of Man, how do they got a subway in Isle of Man? I like how you said it's the subway map, like it's the go-to one map.

Yeah, the subway map. We're talking about geography, and you bring up subway's the subway map like it's the it's the go-to Geography and you bring up subway then subway map and you met sandwich both I'm not trolling you looking at the subway map. I've talked about the subway. What is the subway man? Where do you even see it? Look at that of course that's places No, you go to like subway.com. It's like locations, and it's like oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you know what I mean I love man has a really good flag too. Yeah, it's like dudes legs. It's all leg. It's all man leg Is it like it's like a throwing star okay, that's fine. Yeah

You've got it. You got to get your ass there. Oh, yeah, look at all the countries. Yeah, I was fascinated I was like Isle of Man that sticks out. Thank you putting Bay does have an island So you're just watching this race the boys are going to this race to watch I think there's like the calf of man is an attraction I think there's like castles and the race is crazy watch me I think that'd be like a pretty dope bachelor party activity yeah like it because like seeing somebody die horrifically on a motorcycle would like get you closer with the people you were with mm-hmm it wouldn't be like as tragic as like a typical vehicle crash because like the guys signed up for it and they're almost like willing to be a martyr.

They like leave the ground and it's any sort of weather and it's wet. I think some bystanders die. Yeah, I'd be too nervous to watch. I wouldn't get that close. How's that donut head gonna live after this? Yeah. Yeah, these guys are insane fucking nuts Imagine winning that right

And imagine that subway is their best day of the year during this has to yeah everybody's there how to get there That's what that's the actually how the fuck how in the fuck did this fucking subway how they get all this sliced ham? How'd they get the ingredients there thank you that's what I say how they get how they fucking getting that hand They getting that ham there. Yeah, that's actually the finish line of the race It's the subway. Yes, they drive through a party sub. Yeah right at the end. Oh My god, huh? They're almost out of him. I'm in a, I'm in quite a bro pickle. Why?

I'm in a, I'm in the, I'm in a bro pickle. Uh, March madness is happening and everybody does their brackets. Moog sent it out. Hey, anybody want to do a bracket 20 bucks? My girlfriend saw me filling out the bracket and she's like oh I want to do one so I was like 20 bucks free money she's gonna win yeah she's she's the only girl in it commandingly I thought I was winning she has you're tied with her fuck you have Duke Florida oh she has Duke Auburn But I invite a girl just and then she's good To the bro thing I'm rooting so busy. I need how what place are you let me I'm in last I think so you're

Maryland first and she picked for herself. Yeah She is in first, but I think this is the year where girlfriends win brackets and you're a ninth But I feel like such an asshole Oh, you're a lesbian. You know what that means. You gotta go win fucking Pin the tail in the donkey at the next baby shower But I have to root against her because like how mad would like sass is gonna be mad I'm gonna be pissed. Yeah, I want the money. I know Connor we have what you're in the base. What do you think you're gonna win the money? I have 53 points

Yeah, you're in the you wanted bad. I appreciate I did too. I had an 1112 see that's fine Yeah, but I'll tell you what though. it means more to her like she's probably so excited She loves it. Yeah, I'm checking it constantly Yeah Nick put his pronouns. Yeah, I need my bracket they them. Mm-hmm Yeah, and I gotta be the most man. He's gonna be so mad. Yeah, I gotta take her down. You have to you have to I Do not want to pay your girlfriend 20 bucks. I think MOOC has all the money. I do you spent not all of it Okay, how many people are in a closet? Oh 11? Okay. Yeah, but it's all just the guys and then I

Bring the chick and she won the girl Embarrassing I mean I could wipe her bracket out right now. You should. You have to. Yeah. Yeah. Erase it like that girl that struck out Babe Ruth. But I think I'm a bad guy friend for bringing a girl into it. Sass was the one I'm afraid of. Yeah. No, he's going to be actually pissed. And I'm going to see him tomorrow. It's going to be the first thing he brings up.

You think so? It can break. Fucking who's. Yo. I'm gonna see him tomorrow. It's gonna be the first thing he brings up you think so $20 yeah, yeah, I Just thought was free money. I thought we were taking money from her seem like this would never happen in the fantasy football league no Kyle you should have your girlfriend make one so I wasn't alone. Right now? Yeah. Now. How was um becoming a godfather? It was it was fun good to see my extended family You know I held a candle it wasn't much. Yeah. Yeah, what do you mean you held a candle? What what? Why? Let's say

Why? I don't even know how to... Why? You stumped him with that question. Why would you hold a candle? Sometimes religious events have like ceremonial candles. And you light it and the fire represents something religious. And I was the godfather so I held a godfather candle. That was my favorite day in church as a kid when you got the candles with a little you went to Catholic school yeah but I was that Easter time I was an outsider I would I would sit in the back

and okay oh yeah you did have to Wakanda the priest yeah oh shit yeah mm-hmm yeah no we were all Catholic boys. Yeah, all five of us Not necessarily I was baptized Catholic, okay Oh, and you yeah, I was switched to Islam. Yeah, yeah forgot about that Yep, you did You did oh man anything else head what's going on? Well Kyle have you ever pissed out of the side of your shorts? Why just Kyle you think he's the only one that I meet for it wait like the pockets What are the sides of the shore like instead of going? Instead of going over the if you ever pulled up the leg and just like this but you go the same outer part of the

Just like inside. Oh, I would call that like this like right the bottom of the shorts Yeah, which have've ever done that Not intentionally no why? Because I want to know how acceptable it is and I feel like You were the guy to do it and if anyone give me a situation like if you're looking you do it You do it. Yeah, what do I need to do that? It's when you take the Neil piss What's the Neil? Pitch Neil piss? It's uh, that's a funny alter ego You you you have like you do like on a golf course sometimes

So it kind of covers and then you just go on yes Rather than over the I'd be concerned about pissing on the innards of my shorts Yeah, or in your shoe. So if you walked into the bathroom, Kyle. Oh, bathroom? No way, dude. Oh, okay. I'm doing it conventionally. A guy I worked with in my old job, he used to do it. And like, you could clearly tell he was doing it because his arm was up like he was like,

let's start a lawnmower. In the bathroom? Yes. That's lazy, I think. At the urinal? Yeah, at the urinal. I think that's lazy. In shorts? Yeah, at the urinal. I think that's lazy.

In shorts? Yeah, so if you walk in and you're getting your ear talked off by hogs for a cause and you see a guy with a lawnmower arm up, you think that's fine or not fine? Why would you do that instead of pulling your pants a little bit down and sticking your cock out and going right into the toilet? Maybe you got an annoying belt situation? An annoying belt. What you got an annoying belt situation. What do you do with the underwear? What do you do with the briefs? I think you pull those up too. You pull those up? Yeah. Yeah. Directionally you're very confused when it comes to

pants. Okay. You gotta get them out of the way. Yeah. Oh my dick's not big enough. That's why I can't conceive of it. Yeah. It wouldn't be able to. it wouldn't be able to your piss can only able to poke out of that out of the briefs Yeah But I don't know it's just not it doesn't save time. It's not more convenient. It's not easier So I don't we don't need to invent new ways to piss sounds like you've done it. I have Yeah, because you don't want to do what well sometimes sometimes I think I think it's like it's just quicker you know you don't got a on button you're on oh I don't do the belt belts yeah yeah it is

faster I think can you if you're wearing shorts and boxers let can do you think you could align yourself to where you don't can go hands-free down the leg oh that'd be tight yeah yeah but like one hand on the lawnmower. OK, still pulling up starter. Isn't the margin of error is pretty tough with like the leg. What's there to piss on? If you're pull up the pant leg, you pretty much have a naked leg below cock. See, this would be great for your naked leg. I don't want to piss on that. It'll be easier than pant. I'd rather piss on naked

leg than pant. We're hitting your pant when it's unbuttoned. When you're peeing is such a bad feel I filled my pants to the brim with piss yesterday here and I believe because it was like I was peeing pulled out was on phone and Something happened to where I fucking you turned Into groin and it's crazy too because like when you pee it doesn't seem like that much But as soon as it hits your pants, it's like oh, it's an ocean. Yes. Yes. It's crazy. It's so much you have an anteater What's that mean? Oh? Oh you don't know what that means. He doesn't know what that means

What's an anteater means you probably don't have one if you've never been called that nobody's ever seen my dick. Oh you he might Okay, what's an anteater? It's a Catholic it's an uncut oh no no no I know I I had a No, I was I'm beyond cut Yeah, yeah too much foreskin, I don't I don't even have taper at the end Compared to the end of a pool noodle Dude I think the guy only had like one of those big paper cutters Just yeah a guillotine mm-hmm mm-hmm

Isn't that your foreskin in like a photo album case? Yeah, it fits perfectly and fully into the sleeve of a photo My mom pressed it in a book like a flower Get that on Dugsden. He sleeves it up. Oh Get PSA to grade my cock skin. Yeah Make it into a parachute for those old green soldiers. Oh, that would be cool. Yeah. I used to love those.

PSA 10 on Nick's foreskin. What if they graded me like a four? The corner, the centering. It's too much weight. Your urethra is to the left. Speaking of Catholic school, that was like a moment I remembered very clearly. It was like going through the Bible Genesis God created the earth yeah, no heirs flawless. Yeah clean

Yeah, and then like chapter 3 is like I got some patch notes. Yeah, let's add sin the dick needs some work Well, I think that's just tired seeing naked Huh naked dudes. He's tired of seeing naked, naked dude. Yeah, but chopping off their foreskin doesn't make them less naked. That's an exodus. I don't know what chapter it's in, but he's like, you guys got to fix the penis.

I kind of fucked that up. Yeah. Really? I'm not well versed in the Bible. I had one more thing on my notes, but we met Rudy's parents. Oh, I wasn't here and I missed it it explained so much I still understand what that means, but I guess they're all right. Let's start with his dad Can we can we say what he did before dinner Rudy or no? Oh?

Yeah, this was sick. He I didn't have My weed pen wasn't charged and so he grabbed a soda can and Smoked out of a soda can no your dad. Yes, like poked holes that that does make sense Smoked out of a soda can yeah, dude. It was fucking sick in front of me and my mom What did your mom just like roll her eyes? No? She's like that's the man. I love sick in front of me and my mom. What did your mom just like roll her eyes? No, she's like, that's the man I love.

What kind of can? Huh? What kind of can? Is Diet Coke. OK. Did he have to like think about like, hmm, or do you just immediately? He's like, this has to be done. You just went right in. Did he have weed on him?

No, I had some. OK. And then we bonded over him eating full meals in bed, including popsicles. Yeah, really? Now I understand the gorging of Rudy. Yes he's a big grazer he's like a bear he'll like get apples and blueberries and raisins and then put the candle right on the stomach and prop the plate up on the stomach yeah and just parks it yeah that makes so much sense yeah that makes so much sense wow Yeah. That makes so much sense. Wow. That's dad. Do you have dad in town this week?

He's gone today. Oh, OK. We went to Gibson's last night. Nice. How's the one full 22 ounce to the damn throat to the bone? Yeah, to the bone. When's when I coming around? By this summer. Yeah. You were going to Traverse City, Michigan. Oh, that's a great spot.

But that's separate. Yeah, I heard that you don't know. That's probably means it's probably you should bring your back. So you can have ice cube. He was talking on ice. Wait, wait, his tweet. What's your dad? What was he saying?

It was like ice cube in a open day. That was funny. And it was in a car and he's like. Oh yeah. He could have ran somebody. That got people going. That was a Wanoi banger. What if he was high?

That was a weird one from Doug. I don't know what that. My daughter at the beach. Oh no. What time did he tweet that? It's Doug on vacation vacation all right. Yeah, that's five five. That's fine Yeah, he tweeted uh Yeah, he tweeted like about ice cube bringing the the World Series trophy out and said he was probably high and could have killed somebody No, he said what if you were high what if you what if we got really mad everybody? Yeah?

Yeah, I saw where is it? He's been is he talking to Dean Devlin Delvin. Yeah, that's my uncle That's Dean Delvin that's someone they know as well my uncle Brian That's Dean Delvin. That's someone they know as well. It's my uncle Brian What's Dean Delvin doing wait was he a private eye with your dad is that yes, and they got beat up our D'Var Detective agent there it is can you imagine if ice cube was high and killed half the team with that car People got mad. Perfect my gosh by Doug. Brain dead. Ending it with my gosh is great.

That makes it seem so real. He's an artist, man. Is your uncle trying to tweet? Yeah they might have some collaboration going. I gotta look into Dean Delvin. I know that name. Can you click Dean Delvin? What's the name? It's Joe Namath. That's your uncle. Absolutely. He's used the alias Dean Delvin before. He retweeted his knees on the beach. Or unless it's my dad as well. That could He's used the alias Dean Delvin before My dad as well wait to be an option and he's followed by Zeke penis and mook You follow Dean Delvin

Dean Delvin might be my dad as well. Don't worry about it. Durham, North Carolina. Does your dad have a number? He might have a dee- It's one of the two. Your dad has a second burner. Does he just retweet your dad? He just retweets the same retweets. Yeah, I think it is him. Your dad- He's gonna get Dean Delvin off the ground. He's gonna have two high profile accounts. Wow.

How many followers does Doug have? Dean Delvin has a thousand your tennis 30k All right, and thank you so much. Thank you Eddie. God bless. God bless. I'll sign us off