A New Untold Story - Thank You for the Potluck! feat. Josh Potter - A New Untold Story: Ep. 333

Episode Date: March 2, 2023

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Hey, A New Untold Story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad-free on Amazon Music. A new untold story. It's a fresh, big untold story. A new untold story. A new untold story. Episode. A new untold story. Uh, episode. 9.99 divided by three. 3.33.

Oh, wow. 3.33. Goddamn. Goddamn. Is this our first out of office guest? Is that, is that true? Yeah. Wow. Wait, Maresh.

Maresh, Jared. Yeah. but we're boys with them yeah right yeah i don't know you we haven't yeah we've never actually by no means yeah exactly and you know like there's you could have been on a lot of bigger podcasts here i mean i was i'm gonna do kfc i don't know if that's i mean but i want to do this podcast i'm a fan i listen you guys like kids play with puzzles because like i'm dumb. Why would you use that analogy? Well, because it's like it trains my brain. OK, like even just now you did math in the first like three seconds that I was like divided by all that. And then you got the answer.

Well, we're cerebral as hell. Yes. But we're here with Josh Potter. Follow him on social media. Josh underscore Potter. So, yeah, is this what we do? I mean, i've never done an intro yeah but you do i want to i want to try no i want to try it off the top over here with josh potter he's a very funny comedian he's touring now i think your next stop is bellflower wow you looked up my shit on march 10th more to you know promote you're in the la area yes i am

there you go or if you need an excuse to make a trip to southern california before the ides of march turn los angeles into the dog days it's the perfect time it's getting weird there it's actually nicer weather here and he's also you got nice no nice check out his podcast the josh potter show every wednesday it's now every wednesday look at this guy every literally just changed as of yesterday very funny and you got who do you got normand uh he's gonna be coming up yeah unless he bails on me tomorrow uh which is i would understand that he might just not come and uh then i'm fucked but you know we'll find out so you guys are in you've been corresponding with kb via dm oh yeah very huge k lightly, though. I'm a huge KB fan.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Great guy. Yeah. Thank you. Big KB guy. Look me in the eyes and tell me.

I am. I'm a big fan. You can't tell where I'm looking. I'm sorry. How bad is your eyesight? Terrible. We'll get into this because he had an accident that might be the statistically most impossible accident and also the funniest accident that a man can have and we'll get into

that later i don't i don't even know what this is you know what it is i mean i'll know you fell into a moat in the year 2022 i did it was fell into a moat on the way to do a podcast it was this dude fell into a moat do you know how how they say Abraham Lincoln could have sent a fax to a samurai? Those are things all overlapped at one point in time. Nobody could have fallen into a moat on the way to record a podcast. It wasn't just a moat. He was fully submerged in eight feet of water. And it was more narrow than even the To toys r us depiction of a moat i

could have jumped over the moat i easily could have stepped over was it guarding a castle it was guarding a home in the hollywood hills i guess which is the lamest accident dumbest place to have a moat though like we're in a i mean up until recently a drought and this guy's got a fucking moat out front of his house i mean come on what was the temp what was the water temp oh my god it was so cold it was winter time and i was like wearing like three layers of clothes and i walked straight in with my headphones in my phone it was covet times i had a mask on but oh this was with some and you're doing a podcast with a girl you haven't even met yet

no i just met her and she's like hot and funny and you're like hey how are you you know and then you're like all right and then i just like walk through a doorway as long as yeah that's literally worst case scenario you got fully submerged in a moat then you probably talked about this a lot but no and then you how do you get out i uh i got out like i was like uh the chicken fucking fast times at richmond high like i pulled myself out sexually yeah i tried you know you try to do it like you stub your toe and try to be like i'm cool you know like same kind of energy with this one where i came out and i'm like i'm good and she's like oh my god you know like that was in and she thought i was like doing a bit what did the mask stay on when you fell in it

was like around here but it definitely like stayed around yeah yeah probably like the riddler she was is your phone okay yeah no it was very bizarre the riddler yeah like it's not how this is supposed to go. I mean, I don't even think in the medieval times, like the, the gesture, like no one fell into a moat. It was more of a warning. Like,

Hey, you can't come in here. Nobody fell into moats. Well, that's what I was like. I was always wondering who are they defending against with the moat? Is it like the handicapped? Like they're just trying to ward them off.

Like who's really fallen for this. And I mean, you know, people that can't swim yeah i guess visually impaired that's exactly i was like am i the only clientele that this is how they suss me out and then the rest there's like fire or something on the other side who knows i'm picturing them like like pitching the moat to like sell to people and they're like these are the kind of people you can expect yeah yeah was there a drawbridge oh dude it was like eight feet deep that's the funny i touched the bottom and then and then you did the podcast soaking wet yeah i just i mean once i'm there i had it actually was a relief because i don't know what the fuck we would have talked about

i would have just been like looking at my shoes being like yeah sure uh-huh but now i'm like wet so you got confident no i wouldn't say that i would just say all necessary uh needs for confidence were out the window anyways so it was like you know coming out the other side of the hole which side of the moat did you get out on because it would have been cool if you the other side okay good good that's that's a cool guy go back so where's the bridge let me try that again you know yeah you did the you did the smart move there you thought fast that's amazing i mean yeah i guess i've been embarrassed a lot. So you're you. Your nickname is the Roach.

Yes. Which and I know what you're doing with that. Well, Christina gave it to me. I never would have thought of it if she hadn't. So you got your start with Tom Segura. Yeah. You're from Buffalo. And how did you get about starting with him?

I just was like a road comic from Buffalo. And how did you get about starting with him? I just was like a road comic from Buffalo. And when you do the road, you know, you ascend your way up. You're like start as a host and then you like become a middle. And while I was middling, I worked with Tom. And then he was like, we just had it's so crazy. I tell people like it wasn't like this magical weekend where we're like bros. You know what I mean? Like we just work together.

It was cool. And then he went to the next place and he dm'd me like a couple of weeks later he's like hey you want to come to orlando and then we just kept going and then his career was obviously like shoo and so he just brought me like on the road with him a bunch and then he had me on his podcast for like working on it for a little while so yeah worked out great how'd you get the roach though so christina just thinks i uh i'm like a cockroach because i don't like eating food um i know that's their best quality i think they're the most universally repulsive yeah living sentient thing right maybe they're very hard to kill i'm trying to think of that's the thing that she kind of like i don't require much i don't require a lot i don't eat all i do is smoke cigarettes and drink red bull she doesn't know when i sleep i mean i do sleep a lot i think but i take cold

showers but you have you you don't really like food no yeah i like going out to eat for a meal what do you what do you mean i know that that's crazy. I, I, nobody, I've never met anybody understanding of this, but I just, I mean, cause they're human beings. Yeah, no,

we need a, we need to eat. I get it. Yeah. Thanks God. What a flawed system. Slaves to the stomach. Yeah.

It's so dumb. It's like the, it's, and then people like talk about food. Like it's special. It's like, we all have to eat. It all turns.

I'm not on your side whatsoever. I know. I know. No one. That's the one joy that is constant it's one of the most simple especially as you age i see i just i like going out for a night like i i went to a nice restaurant here in new york a couple weeks ago loved it it was awesome but i don't like you know doritos and stuff like that you know like these people that just graze all day and like eat chips and shit i'm like i i just can't get on board i don't begrudge anybody who does it but i can't do it and then people think oh i'm sure that means a lot to us who enjoy food i know it means not people

get upset like you i feel the uh i know i'm are you pumping yourself girls have like very much been like annoyed by the fact that I, cause they're eating like snacks and shit and they're like, and I don't want any. And they're like, well, I feel like a fat fuck now or whatever. So.

Tell her to stop. It's ruined things. Yeah. You're on your way. Oh man. Yeah. No, I mean,

I, no one's ever agreed with me. I'm a rare, I don't know. Are you pumping yourself up with like appetite suppressors like cigarettes are yeah but i don't smoke i'm not like chain smoking but i never even before i smoke cigarettes like i smoke a ton of weed and i don't get like munchies or anything like that i i heard you talk about this you said that you need minimum 200 milligrams? No, no, no.

I have danced with the devil in that way. Same. When I was poor, I needed to delete time. You know what I mean? When you're poor. Would you, on your way home? Yes. You would race the clock?

I would do a noon open mic, and I would stop at this dispensary on my way home. I could relate. And if you spend $20 at the dispensary, they let you do a dab rip. So I would always spend $20 on the largest edible they had, which was like a square. It was one of these like kind of not on the up and up sort of dispensaries. So you could buy like a 200 milligram gummy, like a singular gummy. dispensaries so you could buy like a 200 milligram gummy like a singular yeah so i would buy that for 20 bucks do a dab eat the gummy and then race it home what do you mean race it home like not i wouldn't you know see if i could just get home before it really kicks in you know what was your

record i lost some games yeah there was a couple where i was like crawling to my stoop you know like my roommate at one point it was so hot and my roommate at one point i had to call him to open the door and just like let me feel the air conditioner on my face because i was like i'm sweaty i'm like laying there i can like i can't even get up from the from the fucking porch it was crazy 200 milligrams sometimes it works great sometimes i feel like they don't know how many milligrams are in these it's a crap shoot the first time i broke 100 and i had no adverse effects it was strictly good that ruined my life because you're chasing that you're going through panic attacks right to keep repeating that huge dose that feels magical that kind of paralyzes you to your bed

vibrates you and makes everything amazing. But then it's not worth it. But then sometimes you do 30 milligrams and you're like, I'm puking. I'm like, it's like, there's no rhyme or reason to the milligrams. The most high I've ever been in my life was from one 15 milligram chocolate covered blueberry. That's intense. You don't know how much is concentrated in there. Well, yeah.

A lot of antioxidants too. Like you said, the number is so arbitrary yeah i think they're just like slapping labels on these things and being like you know right because they're doing it with mushrooms now they're putting those in gummies and those i there's something nefarious about that to me i don't want you manipulating the mushroom with other things you're like cooking it in gelatin or whatever i don't really know how they're absolutely because i did i did the chocolate bar and yes one of the doses i had which was a micro dose according to the label ruined me i saved your life another world yeah they don't know what they're doing with those things either you

ruined my uber rating because of that i was what'd you do in an uber he's i threw him in an uber i shut the door. I actually, I went through my camera while I have a video of me on the shrooms that day. It's the boringest video in the world.

It's just me looking down like Spith Avenue just being like, whoa. Yeah, it's like you're- The entire city was monochromatic. It was like heavily filtered.

You made me film you because you said this isn't normal. That happens every time you get high. You want to be a case study. I do. Well, hey, that's why you're in show business. Does this count as show business?

I think so. I'm going to give you credit. Thanks, man. Yeah, of course. Hell yeah. This is like the new radio. I miss radio. What'd you do on radio?

I was like, as a teenager i was uh like a typical stunt boy and then i started radio yeah you're describing like things you were jumping no i was doing like you know man on the street and i was like yeah but it is it is weird because like they're like we're uh we're putting dye on josh today it's like no one can see this and we didn't have like youtube or anything either a radio-based stuntman is the funniest shit in the world. Josh is covered in goo and die right now. That's what it was. Don't take our word for it.

Every show was like that. Every fucking radio show around this country had like a stunt boy. And it was always like, I'm riding a Ferris wheel for 24 hours. And you're just like talking about it on the phone or whatever. Here we go. Yeah. Something weird like that. But yeah, I did that.

And then I started writing bits and they're like, OK can stay inside now but it kind of worked i remember when even like howard stern was just like trust me eric the midget is riding the sibian right now and i was like that's all i needed i would love to just have been a radio show back then when there was no need for youtube or any sort of video or visual component i would just fucking pretend everything was i'm like we got lesbian 69 in in the corner over here yeah they were all doing that who knows if that was any any of that was happening i like to think it was i didn't think they they didn't have the capability to lie yeah that's that's another good point they were like really thinking like we have to do it for real because it'll come through the broadcast you know yeah yeah you don't want to be caught you don't be a phony not at all uh kyle

333 you got anything area code 333 which is not a u.s area code so we're reverting to to the front 204 is central alabama the birmingham area cool god damn i could watch you do geography shit literally all day i just looked that up it's like asmr much very much so we're looking at central we're looking at birmingham we're looking at tuscaloosa we're looking at football country high school and college this is that's their thing anything interesting about birmingham i think it's a it's a top 50 metro and i think it's one of the highest black percentages in america that's right uh uab cool logo yes dragon dragon see i didn't i was gonna say an elephant i don't know why a crimson tide the crims that's

what it is i've only been to huntsville alabama which i believe is on the other side it's like nasa territory yes to do stand-up yeah there's a club there okay it's pretty cool actually okay I've only been to Huntsville, Alabama, which I believe is on the other side. It's like NASA territory. Yes. To do stand-up? Yeah, there's a club there. Okay. It's pretty cool, actually. Okay.

Stand-up live in Huntsville, Alabama. And you just did, you just ripped, like, what, shows at the stand? No, I'm starting tonight a bunch for the week. Yeah, so it is my first night of, like, five, so. And Nick just did his first set. No shit. Last Friday. Yeah, last Nick just did his first set. No shit. Last Friday. It went very well.

At the stand? No. Where was it? Rockwood Music Hall. It was. Yeah. Oh, cool.

It's something that like we put on like Owen. Oh, that's dope. Okay, cool. Yeah. I just kind of, I would have never done it if a MOOC didn't force me into doing it.

Oh, nice. I saw MOOC at the Buffalo Helium. I was in town doing nothing. I went to, I don't even, when was that? You got snowed in. Oh, nice. I saw Mook at the Buffalo Helium. I was in town doing nothing. I went to I don't even know when was that? You got snowed in. Oh, I got stuck. That's right. I got stuck in the blizzard during Christmas. And so I had to stay an extra like four days. So I ran into these guys. Yeah, no, they I appreciate Mook for kind of get me out of my comfort zone. I don't know if I want to do it again. No, you have to. What's what's annoying about it, if you want to do it, is that you have to just keep doing it constantly.

And that's the that's the best and worst part about it. But why do I? But if you don't want to do it exactly, then you don't. Then there is not. That's what people realize through like open mics is like they go, oh, so I have to do this like a trillion times. I'm good. I don't really need to do this. You don't have to.

Exactly. Well, you don't have to do it. A trillion. i don't really need to do this you don't have to exactly well you don't have to do it a trillion you don't have you can just do it at your own accord right you can but you get better by doing it it's it's like you're just never going to get anywhere if you're just doing it like um periodically you know what i mean like it's just if you're struggling you're never going to grow by like just like hobbyist kind of like mentality and that's what people like start to realize or they never realize it and they just stay an open micer for 20 years which happens all the time and there's 20 there's 20 000 of them out there right now roaming these streets just open micers everywhere just open micers forever which is like that's cool but you're i mean you're you're already like a guy

so you could kind of like you know there's guys that do that my thing is that's cool. But you're, I mean, you're, you're already like a guy, so you could kind of like, you know, there's guys that do that. My thing is, that's one of the nicer things anybody's using me. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks man.

No problem. But you can, yeah, you can get some cherry experience out the gate. That's pretty cool. Yeah. It was, it was a good time.

I was really nervous. I like kind of blacked out when I went up there. Not, not because of booze. No. Yeah. Because of like, I went up there and I and i i have nothing to like critique myself off of so did you record it no i always do audio okay i don't i wouldn't have listened i can't do it yeah i can't do it i don't watch anything i do i just want to know it's like well they laughed at that i have no idea what i said so i like to go back and remember that because i'll never remember otherwise i would

just everything would get lost in the ether yeah that's how you like now i can remember my jokes because i go back and i go oh yeah that's why this one works or whatever i just my goal was five minutes i wanted four laughs nice that's low stakes people were cracking up that's pretty hell that's like really like yeah i mean hey you really said and then i bet you got more than four it was close no it was very funny and even like regardless of other he wants to like make it a profession or sure perfect the craft i think what would it hurt to just do more no you guys already like can just jump a a big step i'm saying like if you're just like a regular guy say you're just you know some kid out there listening and they just like go to an open mic

and they're like well yeah i mean they're not gonna get booked on anything so all the kids out there stop stop just don't try yeah it's really not worth it but honestly yeah i mean i would do tiktok first yeah sure i mean i, I get it. Guaranteed thousands of views. I get that. I love doing stand up and it's like a masochism kind of thing. It's like I there's something about just like the live performance when COVID happened and it was all on like I was on Twitch and all this shit. I didn't feel the same. Like I was like, I could easily stop doing this yeah

nonsense yeah there's like a weird fraternity about it like of just like we all everybody that performed that night all went out and got drinks together and i don't know it felt kind of good yeah that's how like when you first start in your scene or whatever in open mics and stuff you get this camaraderie and then like you start people start getting stuff and then you start realizing like oh these people were in it for like the hang. Yeah. And then because they you just kind of lose those. It sucks. Like the people I started with, there's like a dude that lives here in New York. And I think he's like a janitor now. I don't you know what I mean?

It's like I don't know where he went. It's pretty funny. Yeah. He sounds pretty good. Yeah. He's not. I wish he would try still because he's probably got a lot more jokes. He sounds pretty good. Yeah. He's not. I wish he would try still because he's probably got a lot more jokes. But I don't.

Yeah. Everybody just kind of either quits or they stay in the same bullshit that they've been doing the whole time. Yeah. So it's like now you get up and you're like, well, I'm all alone. Glad I know more hands. Yeah, exactly. The hangs become you have to find new people to hang with. You know, I don't I don't want that.

Exactly. I'm saying as long as you can um kyle more about birmingham for me what's the mayor um well we'll start 60 oh what are they the 67 black which has to be top five in america 67. What do you think beats it? Like Atlanta? Single stuff Oreo. Yeah. Yeah. Run the Jewels featuring Danny Brown. Tyler hanging out with Pat Bev and Roan.

So yeah, that's a great percentage. Their mayor. Black mayor? There's no, yeah, he's black, but there are no detours, roundabouts, jug handles about it.

He's hot. He's not hot for a mayor. He's hot for a man. Like Idris Elba, are we talking like, or like, again, that's when the lines get blurred.

I don't know what's hot, what like the levels of hotness are. Oh, so you debate hot versus handsome? I think Idris Elba's handsome as is Denzel. hot as michael b jordan i think this guy is hot his name is randall woodfin his instagram handle is woodfin w-o-o-d-f-i-n-4 that's the word f-o-r b-ham let's see a picture of course b-ham means bir Birmingham right I'd imagine Portnoy's territory

this guy on the right what I mean knee jerk reaction damn yeah I don't know is he kind of hot or very hot he's a hot guy yeah he's a hot mayor

and he's got the salt and pepper distinguished hot he's a hot guy. He's hot. Yeah, he's a hot mayor. And he's got the salt and pepper beans. He's distinguished. Randall Woodfin, yeah. Distinguished hot. He's a hot mayor. Randall? Yeah. 76k fall. Oh, my Lord.

Is that the first lady of Birmingham? Oh, my. Yep. I don't know. Or do you think he's got- No, no, no. Randall Woodfin, okay. Do you think he's got ladies in Birmingham?

He's 41 years old. He looks good for his age, great for his age. He's single. Which, 41 and single in alabama mopping it up raises some red flags as well oh sure okay i'm like as a guy who's approaching that age he's got to be the most eligible bachelor in the birmingham area outside of the skill position players at Hoover High School. Yeah. And his coaching staff in the Vestavia Hills defensive ends.

So, yeah, he's up there. He's hot. Randall, no disrespect. You're making me horny. I think he takes that as a compliment. Kyle, please. It's Randy. That makes two of us, Mr. Mayor. Instagram.

Let's go to it. I know. He's got an Instagram? Oh, yeah. We'll start with... Wait, he just has his phone number in his bio. He does. Oh, my Lord.

I don't know. That can't be his real one. That goes to like a google voicemail first fit pic one two three four five down he's at the magic the magic city spotlight radio show with a with a crew 94.9 yes may i say by the way the number in the bio is bold That could be like a nice to get ladies. You have it go to a Google voicemail. You screen them. This is a man who's desperate for a threesome. I am.

Yeah, yeah. It's your white whale. It's my white whale. I'm getting too old. I mean, it's not going to happen anymore. Why? I don't know. I'm tired.

You know? Too tired for a threesome. Chasing the. Yeah. Too tired for the the just the scheduling of it. It seems we'll get to Randall Woodfin. But are you like, what are you actively seeking different sexual ventures? No, that's the one I always just kind of like I've always wanted it as a kid. You know, it's that thing where it's like it'll be my midlife crisis, you know, like when you're a kid, you want like a sports a sports car you know and then you get old enough you could buy one and you go oh there's the car i always wanted and then you're an old man and you have some reflection that's what my threesome will be i'll be like looking out the window during it and be like man if only it was 20 years ago yeah if only i was a child during this threesome you could get good luck i'm significantly older than you guys i don't know if you realize i'm 37 that's not we're 30s which is pretty similar yeah i guess that's true yeah i always play it i mean i always think i'm older i guess than i am if only i was a kid fucking this woman

if only these women were pedophiles that would be something but yeah no i do want one of those have you i mean i'm have you had one no no rudy has i'm sure rudy's had like octagons and shit probably you've been to a sex party have you known i got invited i said no oh of course this is this guy i can just say i would i would not want to go to a sex party because it would be like dodgeball in gym class i'd be like afraid i'd get picked last i would not want to go at all but like i would go because i just go well i got offered and someone must find me at least remotely attractive to invite me to this you know low self-esteem is all i'm saying but you seem like a guy the type

of guy who would get no performance anxiety no i don't i mean i don't come that's the thing i right i think i heard that yeah that's the thing on the internet and it's true i mean i don't uh it takes trust and uh like loyalty to come inside of a woman even when they beg for it it's really frustrating but uh well no i mean like hey we'll get to woodfin on who's behalf. Well, no, I mean, like, even when... Hey, we'll get to Woodfin. Even when they're fucking begging for me

to fill them the fuck up. No, they say that, though. You know, they say that. No! It adds anxiety. Dude, you don't eat. I know. That has to affect

your sex drive. No, it doesn't. You get hard easily. I can, yes, though. I mean, I don't mind a performance enhancer once in a while if I need, you know, I've never done one. I can, yes, though. I mean, I don't mind a performance enhancer once in a while if I need.

Right. I've never done one. I mean, start if you don't care, but don't start if you just want to stay all natural because you will go like, this is pretty awesome. And then you're chasing the dragon. And then you're chasing the dragon. Yeah, it's like any other drug. Does it just increase the speed at which you get an erection or does it increase the erection itself?

Oh, it's a little bit of both. It increases the hardness on the motor scale. Yeah, all erection, or does it increase the erection itself? Oh, it's a little bit of both. It increases the hardness? Yeah, all of a sudden you're like, is that my dick? Is it increase the pleasure? Yes, it does, too. Okay. Well, I mean, you just stay hard longer. It's like you can go a couple rounds, maybe.

Never. No. I think you could. On the pills, I'm saying. So you don't cum at all? I mean, I can make myself do it like outside of her onto her you know wherever they like wherever they at but not in just like they can't i did recently i've been doing breath work and recently in indianapolis i got a blow job that was like the best one ever. And that was the first time that I didn't need my hands.

Congrats. Inside of a mouth. This was in Indy. Indianapolis. Yeah. So shout out to that. What area code is that? I don't know.

I think we did it. So two, two, two, one, seven. Oh, shout out to the two, one, seven. Best head I ever had. What was that a girl you knew? I met her there. Oh, okay. Shout out to the 217. Best head I ever had. What was it? A girl you knew? I met her there. Yeah.

Yeah. I guess, I guess you'd have to, you know, at some capacity if they're, they wasn't just like, uh, nice to meet you.

You know, while it's going on, you know? So I knew her for, uh, we went out. Respect. Got your flirt on.

Yeah. Yeah. Tongue kiss. Yeah, she did. Yeah. Yeah. It was fun. I know know the works i know the type

but yeah no i'd ever uh i mean the sex party god bless you for saying no can't believe it it just seemed awkward yeah that sounds that's how like that's a hot guy girl you were dating yeah it was a girl i went on a date with once but like then she you were gonna watch her get fucked i don't know i don't know she kind of said that it was sort of whatever you're comfortable with doing. But I just was like, I didn't like the idea that I didn't know who was going to be there. Like I get enough anxiety. What if I saw you? I'd feel a lot more comfortable.

You have the eyes wide shut mask on and you're like, Rudy? Yeah, I don't know. I get anxiety like in social situations already i see and then like if you add a sex part of that it just didn't really seem if you're about to bust and you just hear me rude boy yeah what the fuck my man that's the one time you like see your teacher out of school oh god yeah i yeah i'm glad i said no and then she months later we stopped dating she like is like hey i'm going to this again if you want it and i was like why now Oh, God. Yeah, I'm glad I said no. And then she months later, we stopped dating. She like is like, hey, I'm going to this again if you want it.

And I was like, why now? Would you think I would say yes all of a sudden out of the blue? More frivolous. She's like, yeah, well, now we're hey, might as well. I get this cocking. I don't think I've ever met anybody that regular regularly goes to sex parties. You must. That's the only person I've ever met that did that that I know of.

Where was it like in a club or at a house? She said that it was in Soho somewhere at some like really nice apartment. That's a different type of sex party. Yeah. Soho, yeah. What is it? I mean, there's also like, there's this warehouse in the meatpacking district or something. Like what is that?

That's the normal, right? I don't know. That's what I'd imagine. I think that would be like the standard. Yeah, yeah yeah yeah after hours yeah and also i don't like the idea of it like planned or like if you're like at a place you're like an impromptu sex party i'm just saying it's more like a sex party organic you know like it felt like to me it's like are people leaving like yelp reviews on this like

is it a business it's just a party slowly devolving. Yeah. At least that's like more natural. But yeah, no, I, there's no part of me that ever even considered going. I was never invited to those parties in college. That's what makes me, I think I have PTSD from that. Or those parties. No way.

What college are you talking? I had like a girl roommate and she would always come home and she'd be like, oh, we had an orgy at blah, blah, blah. And you're like, well, hey, thanks for the text. You text you know i mean that's not like a common college there's no way there's not people going around to sex parties i think there's like i'm sure that happens i think there's like mini orgies that happen at dorm you're not in the minority i you're right no i don't but it was dangled in my face which was mean that is mean yeah i'm still looking at fucking wood fin dude getting a wood fin on wood yeah yeah all right four days ago he's with the crew at the magic city studios

we'll start with this he got 183 likes yeah with. With 76,000 followers. He's doing a lot. Doing a little with a lot. That's 0.02% of his followers. His IG ratio isn't even buzzed. That sounds like me promoting one of my shows. But he's light years ahead of other politicians in terms of looks. So I'll let that slide.

Okay. What he's wearing, though. terms of looks so i'll let that slide okay what he's wearing though he is wearing a green hoodie with the whole foods logo but it stylized his whole mood with the subheading that says so unbothered i looked it up it's 55 plus shipping from surlyshirts.com yeah nick so unbothered Yeah. Nick, so unbothered. That's cheeky-ass Tumblr slogan. Is it?

Yeah. Tumblr still exists? That's what it was. Oh, I see. Yeah, that's like, I don't like it. I don't. Rudy, do you like that hoodie? Whole mood? No.

Whole mood, no. No. He's on the saucy Santana spectrum. I don't know what that means. But I heard someone use it and I think it's like a cool gay diss. A cool gay diss? Yeah.

He's on the saucy Santana spectrum. He's got a little sugar in the tank. Yeah, I don't like the slogan. The mayor's got a little sass in him, but he's not hairy. He's well-groom groomed north to the dome his hair his lineup's fresher than a ninth grade basketball squad yeah crisp michael b fay no buble but it's beginning to look a lot like christmas on the bottom of that beard he's got an aggregation of sophisticated strands grays on the face like a

cannibal or an animal if it's feral or hannibal i'm talking about the hairs on his mandible you got salt on your jaw mr messy margarita mayor back to the corny ass hoodie listen he does look good in it i think he does he rocks the green like sham but there's no heat on his chest like bam oughta buy yo self a flyer sweatshirt mr smooth like your boy on the right he's wearing the birmingham black and the cuban link that's swaggy you're not so unbother. I don't like the slogan. Corny chest. He's got a scat fetish.

To the southern hemisphere. You can't see much with the pants. Skinny gray jeans. Anderson Cooper swag. Hit that 360 for us, Randy. No slow-mo. I just want to get a quick look at what's in the back. Pause.

Is what I want to put all over psych city psych city yeah but then i went down to the next pictures he is rocking suits and fits that are too expensive too cool i could i can't realistically not auto i can can't critique his fits. How much do you think he's pulling in as a mayor of Birmingham? Nothing. Is that like 60? 60 to 70. Really? I even asked Mook, like, can you ID any of these swaggy suit pieces?

And no ID? Are they custom pieces? They look, they just look. You're telling me Mook can't identify swaggy suits? Yeah. We tried to get him to identify a beanie. Couldn't get to the bottom of it. So does he pass?

I mean, yeah. He's at the mayor's conventions dressed like he's ready for the governor's ball. Fly these hoes to Randall's Island. Is there an anus Manchurian candidate you're trying to find or something i got seven we're trying to sway an election eventually i got 7 000 likes so the ratio isn't wait something's amiss then what i'm saying there might be something amiss but i think instagram is at a stage where it can like spread to different spheres you can acquire likes that way he passes he's a he's a cool black i can't i'm not gonna not pass i think that's an auto pass yeah and i was trying to find like different mayors in that area code it's so hard there's none others there is so few mayors that like have an

instagram that's active dude i found another swaggy mayor he's been taking boots off of people's cars did you see him oh that's dope oh yeah he's like he's like these people gotta get the work oh imagine what he looks like what what city um little does he know he's unbooting unemployed people's cars yeah yeah. There's a reason there's a boot on there. It's like five DUIs, Mr. Mayor. People are pissed at Turban Mayor. Yeah, dude. Turban Mayor. Oh, no.

Yeah. Raleigh Baller. That's terrible. You probably thought I was talking about the Jaguars old coach. Everybody does. Yeah, dude. Hob hoboken just been flooding are people just leaving in droves i think i think

he solved it like he solved it a couple days all right takes it off let's clean up this spill damn that thing's absorbing as fuck. This is a ShamWow, actually. He's got a ShamWow turban. Oh, my God.

Yeah, that would be convenient. It'd really be taking action. I tried to get some news headlines, but I didn't really have time so if you guys want to help me finish some jokes all right um united the united arab emirates canceled their space mission two minutes before takeoff all i have is i guess they found out there's no twin towers on mars but that's all i have if anybody um i was also trying to think of like how to fit a turban under a space helmet yeah they gotta have a special the turban

goes outside the space helmet I think is that I mean maybe that would be how it has to work it has to probably work that way I mean because what's the point of the turban if you're hiding it, right? Yeah. They got to show the aliens what religion they are.

Yeah. If they need any, they, if they come across a Martian, they better know where we wear turbans. Yeah. The other astronauts are nervous sitting next to him. Yeah.

They're like, you know, we're going to the bathroom, right? Just keep it up. All right. Keep like, don't go to the bathroom. Just keep it up, alright? Keep it going up. His turban's floating with gravity. Oh, shit, let me

get up. Keep it aimed straight at the sky, alright? I'm looking at you, turban. The president of Jupiter is getting whispered from his ear. Sir, they hit the second moon. The second moon.

If you're taking out two moons, it would be crazy. One moon, even. Japan births fall to a record low. It's probably hard for them to fuck since their dicks and pussies are blurry. And I know you know about that. know oh you were absolutely right i said it and it's very frustrated they're missing that shit they can't line it up so you married a couple of 10 years he's just been fucking groin he doesn't know my whole life's japanese porn they can they have to censor asshole dick pussy but they don't have to censorkake, which is why that's so popular over there. Also, by the way, they're not censoring.

All they do is blur the genitals. We know they're fucking. What's the difference? I know what's under there. Yeah. What's literally what's the difference? So we can't see the insertion. I mean, like.

So when you see like clothed women, you're just like, that's all I need. That's just censoring. Yeah. Yeah yeah that is pretty much what you're saying yeah i mean it's if they're fucking naked and they're like it's like this little blur we still get the point she's moaning she's you know like yeah he's grunt i mean like at what point does it is there a difference really for a child to come across whatever the reason for censoring it is. Oh, I thought you were pro-censor. No, I'm anti-censor. I go, what's the difference is what I'm saying.

Like, what's the point of censoring it? You can't see. The dick. Yeah. That's literally it. But it doesn't really censor anything. We know what's happening. The fact that I dislike it means I want to see the details of the dick deep down.

I don't know. I think that helps. As a person who consumes porn, you go like, this is just silly. This is like nonsense to blur this. That's all I'm saying. And it's hard to sync up your. Yeah. Is anybody like really who enjoys censoring watching this and going, oh, thank God the

dick's blurred. Yeah. They're not disgusted by the rest of it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's not happening.

That'd be a cool job to have though. I'm the Japanese dick blur. Yeah. There's a best one of those. I mean, there is, you don't want, you don't want that job.

It'll ruin porn for you though. Cause you're always like, I'm just blurring dicks. You ever talk to a person who edits porn or something like that? Absolutely not. I'm sure you have. Yeah, I live in LA. They live out there.

You've talked to porn editors? Oh, yeah. I've talked to porn stars and stuff like that. I mean, they don't come around here. I know you do that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they do, but I don't talk to them. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They come around for Glennie Ball's show. Yeah. But they tell you about how the sausage is made, and you're like, I don't want to. This is. Yeah. Yeah. They come around for Glennie balls show. Yeah. But they, you know, they'll tell you about the, like how the sausage is made. And you're like, I don't want to, this is like telling me Santa's not real.

I don't want to hear any of this, you know, how the salt it's pretty upfront. What the, what's going on though. Right. Sure. Sure.

But it's like, you know, how many times they do it a day? Like the editors being like, Oh, we have to cut this part out. And they tell you what happened. And you're like,

I don't want to hear that. That happened. You know, like a girl. Would that be in any scenario? Oh, just like a girl like farts or something and she's like, then they start laughing and they're like, we got to cut this out.

This is rude. Cut. But they'll like break character because like, you know, a dick falls out and like, you know, the typical, like we all have had sex and it's not like it's a fluid, like you know, there's changing, you know, a dick falls out and like, you know, the typical like we all have had sex and it's not like it's a fluid. Like, you know, there's changing. You're having a little conversation.

I don't know. You know what I'm saying? Like pee. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Whoa.

You take pee breaks. Sometimes I got to go pee. Mistakes. That's crazy that you pee. That's insane. Does she blow you after? No. Well, I always wipe after.

I always wipe. Porter, I always wipe. Porter, you dirty dog. You're Porter when you're this horny. You're Hamilton Porter when you're this horny. I wouldn't have done it. I just feel like that's crazy to pee, like, and then go back to sex. Well, I don't usually do that. I usually, like, since I need to pee a little bit and I just try to go run real quick right

before. She doesn't even notice. Yeah, yeah. I throw a flashbang into the room, run into the bathroom. What happened? Yeah, I didn't want to. You know, I'm sorry that, yeah, if I made it awkward, I just know, you know, your sex problems. We can't relate.

Yeah, you're like, and I'm like like this is the coolest thing i've ever heard yeah i mean you did get a sweet blow job though yeah no i did i mean i've i've batted out i've i've uh you know in terms of sex like i am an astronaut compared to what i should be do you know what i'm saying no and i and that's what i'm saying when i said i know what you're doing with like the roach persona oh it's funny but it's the the smallest expectation you can have yeah roach is the most disgusting thing in the world exactly hey and then you woo them by just being a normal guy you sound smarter than i seem like so much higher than you actually are that's a good point i never thought about that you have 2020 vision i have a

third in my third eye um all right i need help finishing this joke because it only works in text uh the u.s watchdog is auditing pete budaj uh jet use his private jet use it's a government-owned jet and i i want to call it share force one but like the singer but it's just like because that's a share is a gay icon or also that like pete budaj was just working on it as a flight attendant he's the transportation secretary he's flying in a fucking private and they're auditing him because he's they think he's been using it for personal reasons he's like i it for personal reasons. He's like, I got to protect the environment.

God, Pete Buttigieg is what a fraud. I don't even know if he's gay. I want to see him suck a penis, frankly. He's got a husband, but it's still not enough. Yeah, no. No. No. Like the gayest thing you could do.

Yeah. Marry a man. Like TMZ catches him just like fist bumping and being like, all right, dude, I'll check you tomorrow. We got like an 11. You know, like my stage. Dude, if I found out he could dunk i'll be like yeah he's not gay that's the one that's the least gay thing you can do yeah right that'd be hilarious he's just like because more gay guys have fucked women than have dunked that is a hundred percent true yeah that's a great stat i think it's pretty significant like it's a jarring difference oh it's got to be like 80 or something yeah right like yeah how many gay guys can dunk

uh fuck dude i think gay pat can don't gay pat can dunk no shit i don't think he's gay either yeah no he had an aid scare no yeah but it was sans the aid scare i'll be like yeah wait if gay Pat can dunk, I mean, this is no slight on gay Pat, but now it makes me skewed on how many people I think can dunk. Maybe my dunk barometer is off. He's like 6'5". He played basketball.

I don't know if he can dunk. I'm sure it's very close. But if Buttigieg cocked that joint back. Yeah. Honey dipped. Is that what it's called? It's like, nah, dude. Vince Carter, it's over. I'm straight. What sport do you think will have the last

to be having a gay player in it? Oh, the last. Yeah. Because we have football already, right? Yeah. No NBA player yet. Yes. Or has there been?

Collins. Collins. Oh, that's right okay so i'm sure like there's like pretty public like accusations of many nba players fucking oh i'm sure the horniest people in the world i think they're not even gay when they like do that right no they're doing it out of like easy tactics where it's like it's just a hole and i'm bored you know like there's so many holes here let's just put it all the holes you know like have you met people like that no why'd you ask him because he's not i don't know he's got hot guy parties like i don't know the dudes that are so bored with holes that they

fuck yeah like all the guys that i've met no they are but now i have basketball players at college they were the horniest guy there will never be a gay bowler hockey players all do group sex hockey players are disgusting right yeah yeah that's not I'm not talking tails out of school when I say that no no yeah they pride themselves on like the devil's threesome

yes and they pride themselves on uh non-traditionally attractive, unconventionally attractive women. Because hockey players are wrestlers if wrestlers had any appeal. Because you're treating sex as different challenges in sports. Yeah, a lot of the culture surrounds having a good story. You're trying to of the culture surrounds like having a good story. You're trying to check a box. Like having a good story.

And the more you embarrass yourself, the more the other guys like you. Right, which is a hurdle I actually can never get over. Oh, I'm so sorry, dude. Sorry you had to stick with fucking regular hot women. And I can never do

the devil's throats of either. Dude, Rudy's like trying to impress his boys, showing them like a nine. It is like a... It's shocking what happened last night. I went sub-eight. Dude, I dipped into sevens.

It's shocking how accurate your assessment of it is. Plan B wasn't even effective on this one. She's so big. She's so big. She's 158. Yeah, 130. Rudy has never fucked a weight that's over a survivable human temperature.

Rudy hasn't even like... Rudy hasn't fucked a hospital visit. Rudy hasn't even like Rudy hasn't fucked a hospital visit yeah no oh shit oh my god he had a fever dream and woke up

throwing up she was 105 you can see the rolls in her hips and woke up throwing up. She was 105. You could see the rolls in her hips. Kyle, can you hit that ad? I think it's in your chair. Manscaped. You shaved your beard.

I don't know how recently. Yeah, before I came here. It was like my Britney Spears move. Dude, I shaved mine the other day. I actually got a new razor. I got this. You're about to do a manscape. This is a pube boy. This is a pube boy.

Don't talk shit over there. Okay, so they have the beard trimmer now. I'm trying to extend your ad here. Thank you. But they have the beard trimmer now, and I used it, but it was my first time, and I gauged it wrong, and I went too deep. So that's why I shaved my beard. It looks all right. You have a- Thank you. I'm a sphere. I'm a sphere under here. Yeah, you rock it. too deep so that's why I shaved my beard it looks alright thank you

I'm a sphere my jawline is getting worse but I'm trying my best just to see what's up public service announcement manscaped they know about their trimmers but they now have beard products

what do you got I try to freestyle it you're doing good like use different like synonyms but that's hard manscape i'll just say it verbatim it's a great great copy manscape now has beard products and now a brand new nose and ear hair trimmer make you look five years younger people forget about the nose hair and the ear hair if you haven't already heard the leaders and below the waist grooming they're still yeah you know they're traveling north of yours you're doing good man north of your south pole with their revolutionary beard hedger pro kit and i've tried this it's the ultimate package that makes it easier than ever

to craft your signature look i'm sure you have a signature look i guess but it starts with a beard hedger this thing is an elite beard trimmer the beard hedger is tough on hair but smooth on your face leading to single stroke efficiency and it brings satisfaction one stroke at a time this is a hygienic practice that you have to do it's not like a recommendation you have to do this so you might as well use manscaped for post-trim hygiene the kit includes the beard shampoo the conditioner the beard oil and the beard balm all serve a separate but equally important purpose again this is hygiene this is a necessity if is a necessity. If you're not doing it, you're disgusting. Use it to moisturize, style, shimmer your new beard.

Plus, the kid has three free gifts, including a beard brush, comb, and scissors. With a nice beard, your face is perfectly groomed right. Wrong. You need to keep an eye out for those tough-to-trim ear and nose. That's what I'm talking about. The ear and nose hairs, you got to get them. They make you look so much worse and older and then the weed whacker 2.0 i remember talking about the weed whacker 1.0 the 1.5 and being like this is this is it this is we're selling out to the fullest no the weed whacker 2.0 offers improved blades and skin safe technology the last one had

skin safe technology i wish they put an asterisk because it's better skin safe technology the last one had skin safe technology i wish they put an asterisk because it's better skin safe technology they've upgraded skin safe technology in the past six months alone you're doing good let alone a year um no tugging guaranteed it's never been so painless to mind your manholes good work out 20 off and free shipping with the code anus at manscape.com you have you have to do this you have to trim you have to groom what are you using now if you're using nothing then yeah use this if you're using something it's not as cost effective and efficient as manscape and it's putting money in our pockets yep there we go thank you kyle our pockets i uh same with same here by the way support manscaped there we go

there we go and use their code um every time i go in the mail room of my apartment building there is a sword size box the exact size of aragorn you're getting so many swords sent to you is it your swords no i bought aragorn sword from lord of getting so many swords sent to you. Is it your swords? No, I bought Aragorn's sword from Lord of the Rings and I think I got scammed low over 300 bucks. Looked movie quality. And I it's been how long? Four weeks?

I haven't even gotten like a tracking number yet. But I keep getting fooled in my mail room. That makes it more authentic, I think. I don't, it doesn't exist. I bought a girl. Itvira Mattel candy skull. I know you're dating Elvira girls. I know for a fact. And it's going to take four months for it to even be like.

How many girls have you dated that have had the corpse bride tattooed on them? Yeah. I'll say this. 100%. I'll say this. 100%. It's not so much how many have i dated it's how many have i like been obsessed with that didn't like me back yeah exactly yeah that's a larger number i would say than dated but yes no i do love a little goth lady yeah

no but i i don't know i'm on a quest to get 200 knives. And here's some of this. I got a new one today from Otis. I'm a big knife guy. I like knives. This one's from Otis today. You go to army surplus stores? No, the guys have been sending them to me.

Oh, shit. I got like eight of those after the first, the show Friday, those credit card ones. Look at this one from Otis. I don't think this is legal. Oh, that's yeah. that's like a box cutter type device yeah that it's actually like a switchblade sick that's sweet it is very like uh exacto knife in terms of its apparatus yeah pretty cool because i like a good switchblade but those stiletto ones it's like what am i gay no i'm just a fucking high heel shoe and it's just an up and down oh dude

that's so shout out odis from russia shout out odis he sent me a note that said fuck you kb oh no no this is what i want you're gonna have the best 107 knives they're gonna be super quality but you won't get to 200. This is the coolest knife I've ever seen. You want it? I mean, I don't want to. That's like the NASA pen from Seinfeld. I think it'd be worse at this point to be like, ah, fuck it.

I don't want it. Or even to deny it gracefully. I have to also fly home. Yeah, you could put it in your. KB bought a battle axe in Alaska. And he brought. Do you still have that battle axe? Dual sided you really i mean it's a beautiful night take the blade it's so take the blade yeah yeah so i'm one i'm one i'm one away from now this is just

well so i got eight i feel am i like egregious for taking no dude i love it'd be weirder if you didn't take it even if you did i've been loving all right i mean i'm gonna i've been loving giving away knives thank you otis i think i don't think i can legally have thank you nick yeah of course dude this is so cool it's gonna go off in your pocket you think so i don't know no oh my god that'd be so i mean you fell into a fucking moat you might die via here i am like putting it on my belt dude like what is the next like what i can't there's nothing that compares. Can I say this? I've been blind for my whole life. Pretty much. You know, it's gotten progressively worse.

That was the moment where I really like took stock in where I'm at. You know what I mean? Where I go like, you know, like, am I going to have to like move into a home? Yeah. Like, how long are we talking? Have you been glasses since baby? Two. Since I was.

Yeah, I was first grade. How did your parents? Well, OK, so you were first grade. So you can speak and be like, I I was. Yeah, I was first grade. How did your parents? Well, OK, so you were first grade. So you can speak and be like, I can't see great. I was getting headaches. OK, I was two years old and my mom's like, he's sitting real close to the TV. So I feel like nowadays, though, kids have iPads and shit and they're all close to it. There's some blind kid out there that's not getting glasses till.

That's sad. Yeah. Are you blind like medically this eye's dead because i looked at like blind stats in new york and like the number was crazy it was like 400 000 blind people i don't know what makes you you have to fall into that category i i would imagine i'm legally blind because like i'm blind in one eye this eye like you know with the glasses can be like 20 30 or something like that so like okay but they're super thick and i found out from i just went to my eye doctor while i was back home like two weeks ago and he told me that because i don't know how to get glasses i can't go to like warby parker and just buy glasses yeah they don't do my prescription

so there's like a guild of like lens makers and they have they're like only in france or some shit it's probably surrounded by a moat probably yeah it's real medieval shit so they're going out of style though or whatever there's just not a demand for you know high index lenses so like someday this will stop so they just won't make them anymore so you just have to like keep a hold of those glasses you have pretty much and it's just like get the most updated script you can and just pray that doesn't get too much worse it's like a real fucked up thing i go so wait a minute you're telling me they're just not gonna make them anymore they're like their companies just are not doing it my eye doctor like straight up just told me that because there's less people that have vision that bad

because of what lasik i guess lasik or i don't even know just like maybe just like uh medical uh evolution you know like less people are having high index lenses or necessities for them like i can have a surgery done that makes my eye less high index but it's still gonna be crazy so it's like i'm just a unique case so not even mr beast could have saved you no no mr beast cannot save me for the record that's how you know you're fucked yeah yeah it's like I'm just a unique case. So not even Mr. Beast could have saved you. No, Mr. Beast cannot save me for the record. That's how you know you're fucked. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's beyond beast control.

Those are like cornea problems. Those guys like I go, are they even really blind? He's just helping people that can't see great. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Make a new retina, Mr. Beast, and then call me. All right, let's talk. He might.

He could. He has the means. If anyone can make a new retina i feel like i'm challenging him calling him out and maybe he can do if anyone can do it it's him because it's not regular science i was trying to mr beast a little bit over uh the weekend you're trying to be like nice to people well um when a camera's in front of you fired horribly um so the first one went incredible i was on tiktok live there was a kid with not a lot of viewers i'm like i we just got like a bonus i'm gonna send him uh you could

buy gifts on tiktok which are monetary valued and send it to them it's pretty much a donation and i sent him a meteor shower which is 3 3000 coins. That's equivalent, I think like $30. Okay. And he went bananas. He was for the meteor shower. Thank you, intern Troy. Intern Troy, if you need anything, let me know, message me.

I could hook you up with some swag. I don't know what he was talking about. So then I kept doing it. And like the same guy or no, it's different people. I brought my girlfriend. I was like, hey, watch this. I'm going to donate this guy $30. dollars he's probably struggling so you were going meteor showers

it was sending meteor showers meteor showering and i did three in a row the first guy was just like thanks for the meteor shower and then went on with his life like that's a thirty dollar gift you're not getting that every time no one's giving you that can you do it right the next guy didn't the next guy didn't even acknowledge it. What service is this again? This has got to be TikTok Live. TikTok. Can you do it right now?

Is your card connected? Yeah, I can do it. I have to reload. I spent a lot of money on meteor showers. How much money have you spent on meteor showers? I'm trying to get that satisfaction of the first guy who was like, Intern Choi, thank you so much. A meteor shower. That gave you a serotonin boost. Yeah. Okay. I just made his day. satisfaction of like the first guy who was like intern troy thank you so much a meteor show that

gave you a serotonin boost yeah okay i was like i just made his day oh and then the next three which i'm thinking like these guys are scam artists who use tiktok live to just i don't know generate some meteor showers but um is there what's higher than a meteor shower there's a lot really i almost sent what did you almost an apocalypse sunset drive just like 99 sunset wait this is the correlation there's no correlation between these no like the no there's a sunset drive i thought it was going to get more and more that's's why I didn't think they noticed. Yeah, I don't know.

Send a sunset drive. I'll pay for half. Yeah, I'll send it right now. We have this fucking tungsten meeting at 7. You're going to have a guy that's either going to like this or hate this, right? Or be mediocre about it. Okay. I got to find a lot.

I don't know. Is there a way you could just find people's lives it usually comes up quickly alright here we go how many viewers it's a dude playing basketball he has to be looking at the screen yeah right okay 190

I will send her I will send her it doesn't matter she's just looking at the screen she's making mac and cheese of course wait her wait the debate is what should she make

mac and cheese or shells and cheese I'm about to say hey you're about to have a lot of shells later you're gonna get a whole shell so now I'm paying $49.99

for 3,303 coins and that will translate to a certain gift. So purchase. What's her at by the way? I don't know if we need to... If anybody that's watching wants to donate.

Wants to also meteor shower her. Her name is hey it's wade and i'll tell you no she ain't okay so all right i bought the coins i bought the coins let's go down to the the highest one i can afford i have three three thousand three hundred what's i gonna buy i can get a meteor shower which is three thousand yeah that's the highest i can afford okay but a ferris wheel a potluck a potluck. Okay. But a Ferris wheel, a potluck... A potluck? A Ferris wheel and a potluck is the same amount. What?

Yeah, I get it. But Meteor Shower sounds like the grandest. Meteor Shower is like a once in a... I'm going to send her a potluck. Wait, you're sending her a potluck? How much is that? $3,000. Oh, you're sending her a potluck?

So I'm essentially sending her $40. Wait, the worst memory. I got a four-wheeler wreck. He's about to potluck. Here we go. It'll show up. Hey, it's fake. And sometimes it takes a while for them to see.

Hey, I am not Wade, but hello. Come on. Look. Oh, no. The immense amount of children playing in the background. Come on, intern troll. Thank you for the potluck! Yeah!

Now I'm going to message her, Do you appreciate the potluck? How much is fun? This is my new high. Oh, my God. She was so excited. Do you appreciate? She's telling Wade. Kyle, I want you to do it again she's not looking she's not gonna see your chat

come on oh thank you i did thank you. I did. Thank you so much. He'll have to do something for you tonight. He's on at night. He'll have to do something for you tonight. What's that going to be? What's Wade doing at night? Dude, I just got a picture of the moat.

Oh, yeah. No, it's in the... There's beach balls in it. No, no, no. That was in the date. That's a picture not from when I was there. You fell in in the date. That's a picture not from when I was there. You fell in a lazy river. That's not a picture from when I was there.

The beach balls were... I would have seen the beach balls. What? No, you wouldn't have. That was just a picture from a different day. No, no. It was nighttime, by the way, when I did it. This is a legitimate boat.

It was nighttime. It's got like a wooden slab. Yeah, that bridge is stupid. So there was a full-on bridge and it's not a bridge it's like a piece of rock that i thought was an object that was in my way and i walked around it well there's fucking this fucking this fucking rock is in the way of the door the bridge there's something in the way here i I better walk around this. And I walked right into the water. It was dark. I saw the bridge. I thought it was an object obstructing me.

Turns out it was the thing that I was supposed to walk on. It's never happened before. Misjudging things like that. I'm usually amazing in a dark room like a cat. Really blew it there. Let me play my fucking new song. Oh, yeah, dude. Oh, also.

Fucking also. I have, um, so each we're going to try to formulate a tick talk every week to post. Uh, the new one I want to do is I've been really big on YouTube of like watching urban men, uh, hear songs for the first time.

I love that. So like black man, here's Mr. Bright side. It's always like the most popular song in the world. Those are the best. It's like watching a black guy see magic also. It's like the same kind of high. I love that. But it's songs they've heard.

You've heard Don't Stop Believin'. But he's just like, okay, where's this headed? I want to know culturally what happened to them that they did not hear Don't Stop Believin'. I want to know where they grew up. And it's hot or not, so Kyle, I want you to do man reacts to

Happy Birthday for the first time. It's just a song that's very obvious. Where's this going? Happy birthday to me? Yo, word, no, this is him, for real. Let's go, next verse, next verse. You gotta touch the headphones. Yeah headphones yeah yeah to you yeah okay so i'm feeling it and so we're gonna do we're gonna do man reacts to happy to the birthday song for the first time

and then we'll have your song be you'll score the credits i made a whole ass mix yeah what do you got but you don't have mixing software so you've been doing this on splice splice which is a 99 cent video editing app free version of a video a video not even an audio so i spent so much time and i got to that weird area where i kind of like started liking it which is not good and then you start trying to perfect your craft. Yeah. Yeah. You're extracting MP4s. But I realized watching other DJs, like you have to incorporate some flavor, some,

some, some. So you're already going to DJ advice when you're naughty, when you're doing a video editing app on your phone. You gotta incorporate some like well-known comedy, not like some, uh, niche shit, some esoteric shit like people that something that everyone would know that's what she said you gotta get the yeah something like

exactly like that exactly that would be so good oh wait did you did he guess it pretty but it's the what's the black version of that's what she said in the early on? Oh, God, I'm just going to show my racism, I guess. I don't know. I don't know. Hanging with Mr. Cooper? The black version. Of the most well-known black comedic phrases, who do you think of? Charlie Murphy.

Let's get it. Let's get it. All right, all right, all right. Oh, fuck. If only it could be an MP3. Oh fuck If only it could be an mp3 Yeah A picture of DJ doing this On stage

Hold on I got it I have the technology skills Bitch Go in have sex with Charlie Murphy Bitch Go in have sex with Charlie Murphy Bitch Go in have sex with Charlie Murphy skills. Pretty good, huh? Way better than happy birthday.

Yeah. Is this a live version of a song? I mix this. Dude, I want you so bad to do DJ things. If I don't get to 200 knives by the end of summer, he has to do a live DJ. I want that. I took one from you. Thank God. we gotta get you a set man dude i'll get you one in la too carter cruA. too. Carter Cruz does DJ stuff at Bar Lubech and all that shit.

I'm mad low-key right now, though. You just open for her. She'd have you in a second. Dude, the Portnoy mashup. It's almost done. I like it. It's pretty good, man. This is good, I think.

I don't know. Am I? I don't know. They could have stopped it. They should have stopped it. Is that Portnoy and Trump? Yeah. Yeah.

Can I see what's going on on your phone when this is playing? Is it just a wave? There's no way. It's probably all these videos jumping around. Hispanic American. And then China sent us this horrible the trump djing is next level this is pretty good man we got it you're ready for a live yeah i think so do you understand how offensive that is? No, I obviously don't. Yeah, I'm just having fun with it now.

I'm mad low key. Like if a joint pops up and it like needs a spot, I'm there. But like right now, I'm just having fun with it, dude. I'm in the crib with the boys. We can get you out on the West Coast. Let me see. Yeah. Let me see what you're looking at when you're making this.

If you got a gig tomorrow, what would you show up to the gig with, equipment-wise? I don't know equipment. I guess my phone. Do you have a laptop? I don't know equipment. I don't know equipment. It's not a person.

I don't know the ins and outs of equipment. I'm doing everything from this from this well something you can more control what would you wear oh what i wear probably like a like a i don't know like a jerk like my ball ball jersey yeah probably like a tie-dye undershirt uh cargo pants so you know exactly yeah And I'd wear like some like old school like like haraches

with like the what was it? Their color one of their colorways was mad crispy but this shit

I think you guys weren't listening enough when I dropped one of these transitions. Okay. Get back to the transition. I was really enthralled with the Trump song.

It's whatever dude. As long as people are having fun like if it's getting the dance floor going and i do like the idea of you being on the stage no dj table and just your phone plugged in yeah and you standing there just play right i like that that's the thing. I want to do a bump to your DJ set. I need it. So bad. You got to react live to how the crowd is feeling. Yeah, maybe they're fucking dancing, but how are they dancing? And what could I change?

Can I take out this Portnoy soundbite to make them dance harder? Or could I add another one to really liven the mood? It's a whole game. And I love the strategy behind it. It's not just the music you make or what you're doing on the turntables. It's reading the crowd, checking out what, what,

what, what, like, what is their vibe right now? How are they dancing? How are they trying to express themselves? And I can like adjust my set accordingly. And that's dope.

That's what, I don't know. It's like one of those creative outlets that just it's super surreal like to get into it and like see yourself improve over time hell yeah dude preach i love it yeah which port noise soundbite is going to cave in the ceiling right yeah and that's all all it takes is like one good soundbite transition he's not answering any of the questions. Alright, so after this we'll have man reacts to Happy Birthday for the first time and then roll credits. It'll be that song.

It'll be the whole thing? Yeah, probably. Isn't Happy Birthday the saddest song you ever heard? When you're hearing it live. Eric Clapton has a song about his son falling out of a window. Happy Birthday? You're getting presents afterwards. I,

uh, we started doing a happy birthday to the theme of the national anthem and it makes it so much better. If you just sing happy birthday to happy birthday. Yeah. Happy birthday. True. I never thought about the fact that happy birthday is acapella

what there's no beat and it's the sad it's just like happy there's no i don't even remember how it goes now it's like i'm like i don't know what goes no it's really the saddest song ever though it well it's depressing to have it sung to you or even nobody wants to do it and when you hear it in the distance you're like oh and what do, what do you look at? Yeah, four people go through the motions. They hate it. And there's one person who wants to do like and many more and they suck. Yeah, that's always the chuck chuck chuck. Doing it to

the national anthem changed my life. It's like when you get a whole drunk group singing the national anthem, but they're just happy birthday to you. It's electric. Try it out. Take take off your hats. Try it. I promise. It's better than the regular National Anthem. I don't think I'll ever get happy birthday sung to me again.

That's not true. No way. I don't think so. It hasn't happened in probably five years. I thought it wasn't going to happen. Every year I think this is the last one. And then somehow it happens again. Maybe two years go by. It just somehow happens again. You're having birthday parties

that's what it is every so often yeah you really nailed it on the head there no it's sometimes though somebody wants to go oh it's your birthday and they go oh it's his birthday and then they try to gather around i I'd rather not. Yeah. Gather around. I hate it when, like, people don't know it's your birthday. You go somewhere and somebody looks at your ID or like they scan an ID somewhere.

There's like, oh, happy birthday. What? Your birthday? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Why?

Why didn't you tell me? Oh, man. Anything else, boys? One more thing. Have you seen Mook? Especially you. Have you seen the murdoch uh murders i have not yet why especially move um

there's one living boy right now okay there's the man in question alec murdoch is in jail okay yeah the family is ginger they ginger belief. They look way worse than you. Okay. But they look hideous. They're genetic. That was like the only qualm I had with the series is I didn't want to look at them any longer. Oh, God. But the whole family's fucked. The dad committed all these murders.

He killed his on trial for he killed his wife and son. And there's one remaining one. His name is buster murdoch he doesn't look like mook but if you were to compare him to someone here would be mook like a weirder face and yeah is that on the i don't think there's a worse possible life situation than to be this buster boy right now well i mean his dad killed his mom and his brother and his brother amongst yeah dude amongst others and then netflix just outed him as gay oh which was a secret do you think he's sad first off you killed me this kid may have murdered someone which i mean oh sure all sympathy out the door. Buster may have killed somebody. This looks like me, asshole. Oh my lord.

He does. He looks worse. This is somebody. He's like Mook if he had a Kennedy haircut. Yeah. This is a gay ginger whose dad murdered his mom and brother

and is now the laughingstock of the world because Netflix is doing an entire series on him and he was outed as gay which is probably his deepest darkest secret and now he just has to live his life. How do they out him as gay? In Hilton Head.

Yeah it's tough. Because there is a apparently there was a murder case with a gay boy from this tiny South Carolina town. And is he the murderer? They were like yeah and all of the kids in school were saying Buster used to hook up with him. So it may have been him. They found Buster's DNA in his ass.

It's an ironic first name. Buster. I have a new fear. Undiagnosed conditions. Scares the fuck out of me. I think I got one. I bet you we all do. Well, I'm sure if we don't go to the doctor.

I don't. What do you mean? Cond doctor i don't what do you mean condition yeah what do you mean anything anything i'm sure yeah that's not my fear that's my hope you hope you have an undiagnosed exist and i don't ever get diagnosed with whatever it is that i have and they just have and i just live and they just like they don't give me medication they just go well he faked it the whole time fake it till you make it you know you yeah that's what i have clinical depression and they don't give me medication. They just go, oh, he faked it the whole time. Fake it till you make it. You know? Yeah, that's what I think of my life. I have clinical depression and they don't know that yet. Oh, man. All right. I do have a couple housekeeping items.

Oh, housekeeping. Yeah, housekeeping. Well, one question for Josh as well. Yeah, please. We talk about bombing on here. Okay. Can you give us your worst bomb you've ever had? Oh, yeah. I mean, it was like the second time i ever i thought when i first started i i mean i was on

the uh radio so like people would come to see me which is crazy like just in buffalo obviously and so i did one open mic and i was like you know it was like fine and i'm like all right cool i got this and then three months later i went up to like a real show that had like 300 tickets sold and it was like a local show and i went up like third everyone was doing great and i bombed so hard that i like walked off stage and threw up that's how it like physically made me ill how hard i ate it because i knew it was just me what does everybody stay you know what i'm like yeah it wasn't like i can't blame it. Everyone else did. Crowd wasn't warm yet. They were just staring at me. Yeah. It was like the worst possible life situation.

Yeah, it was. I didn't get out of bed for a year. Other than Buster Murdoch. Other than Buster Murdoch. And then they outed me as gay to the whole Netflix. That guy that just bombed? Gay. Yeah.

Yeah. That's what they came out and said. And put it on Netflix. That's tough. Rudy sat courtside this week. How was that? Oh, yeah. That's what they came out and said. And put it on Netflix. That's tough. Rudy sat courtside this week. I did. Were you with Frank? No, I did not know he was going.

And I was very excited and never been courtside. Was a little bit cross because I thought that courtside was quite a literal term. I thought that that meant feet on the wood. That's what I thought. I mean, that's the best one, but it's like four rows right i was four okay wasn't going to complain i didn't have to pay for the tickets it was very fun and so i was a little bit like you know okay i was hoping the ball was going to roll my way or you know a player was going to fly into me something and then i look across the court and i see Frank, the tank sitting a sneeze away from Spike Lee.

What a world, dude. Yeah. What a world. Yeah. But it was very astronaut. I mean, he went from that shitty apartment. Now he's courtside with Spike Lee. Like it's not.

But two years later, it's so deserved. America is so well. Yeah. Yeah. It's one of the great American stories of our lifetime unbelievable but you were out across the way or something yeah i was across the way row four looking like a peasant you get to go into like a thing though right like there's like a you where you go get drinks yeah it's interesting because they're the most expensive tickets predominantly you would think very affluent

people the food is just free yeah that's what i'm saying yeah like i had the cheeseburger the cheeseburger was on an english muffin which i found very bizarre what yeah opulent yes uh they had sushi uh it was it was awesome it was rad it was really cool the celtics got their dicks blown off um it was cool. Are you a Celtics fan? No, no. But I just thought there's something about the Knicks that I just don't find to be appealing in any manner. I heard that. I almost a friend of mine was like, you want to go to the Knicks game tonight? Oh, you have a spot too bad. And it was like $400 tickets.

No. Middle of the thing. I was like, oh, God. Cancel your first show. Yeah. Last but not least, a nobody's check. How's that coming? I found a few.

I found a few really good barstool fan pages. Oh, that would be good. Yeah. Yeah. Because we're doing an award show called the nobody's. Oh, I love it. Where you just get a trophy base, no person on it. And I do that with I do the roaches.

Yeah. But I have no real trophies. Oh, OK. I will someday. So ours have to be under 500 subscribers on anything. Okay. Followers. Qualification followers, subscribers.

I love that. Yeah. Viewers, views. But they're out there trying their best. Maybe. They have a thing in general. Like they have to be committed to a certain. Yeah.

Yeah. They have to be fully committed. Well, that's what Frank the Tank was. He was like broadcasting to four people and just was diligent about it, right? I mean, hard work pays off at the end of the day. We're hoping to find the next Frank the Tank. That's great. I love that so much.

God, we need to find it. I found a few pages that are pretty good, pretty active. I like that. The more active, the better. Yeah, yeah. Definitely. Absolutely. Anything else, Mook?

That's all I got. Rudy? I got nothing. the better yeah yeah definitely absolutely anything else mook uh that's all i got rudy um i got nothing i the only other question i had for josh was what's your relationship with plaid wear a lot of it i don't know shirts just are made that way i was like who's that really yeah i mean they just make shirts that way i don't know i don't know cool guy stuff fashion wise so it's just like i just buy the shirts way. I don't know. I don't know cool guy stuff fashion wise. So it's just like I just buy the shirts. I buy plaid.

There's squares on it. Yeah. Yeah. I wear plaid almost every day. I just noticed in a few videos, it just you seem to be very into the plaid world. So yeah, I mean, if I'm wearing a button down, it's usually a plaid or a flannel of some sort. I got a lot of hoodies.

I actually like packed like five hoodies this trip. And I'm like, I guess I'm just a hoodie guy. You know don't know what should i wear rudy you tell me i would love that's great advice on he won't tell he won't fucking tell he's just like guys i look this good no he's just like oh i just i just found this piece i just found this and a fit it works thank you all dark you can wear a girl did tell me black looks good on me and i'm like okay i guess that's like nice that something does but i feel like that's an insult that it's black no i actually have terrible fashion advice but i was gonna say do you think that there's any pattern that's been more prolific than plaid i mean plaid and flannel i find to be different if that makes sense like

they are not the same but i'm talking about the geometric shape the yes no i mean because it had the 90s wave with nirvana yeah pearl jam all that and then it just kind of you know what killed it porn like the wackest dress porn stars like that's why it's like some of my favorite videos you're talking about it was like the week the wackest looking dudes wearing like plaid yeah no when girls wear it though like an oversized flannel with like no pants pretty sweet that's my alter ego that comes out the horny alter ego that mcs in rhode island call me josh porter fucked up so many names on the road it's mcs and i mean there's an mc every now and then it's like

josh and then the crowd will be like it's potter and the poor guy's like oh i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm like i don't give a fuck either way dude it's meaningless to me i get the check regardless yeah yeah i don't care i never cared about a a headliner that gets pissed about your introductions by the way is a asshole because it doesn't matter yeah yeah that's just for mook yeah i mean they're already there see it people are already there i don't sass is getting pissed at him for yelling for fucking it up yeah yeah he slaps me after if i don't say his credits properly. It's Lil, not Little. A rugrats bitch. Phil and Lil.

Lesbian mom. Butch mom. That's right. Cuckold dad. Lesbian mom or cuckold dad. I want to go ask that in Washington Square Park in Washington Square Park. That's going to be a future TikTok. That's a good man on the street.

Would you rather? He hated fucking her so much that he was like, yeah, I got to go to the basement to invent things. You confused that with Stu. Okay. Who was the best friend? The dad is not Stu. Stu Pickles is the dad. Chucky's dad is a just his wife died.

Right. So he went and he did the classic nerd thing, went and got an Asian wife. Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK. Mm hmm. Yeah. It's like, fuck wife. God, you're reminding me of Rugrats lore that I have since forgotten.

It was pretty accurate. Yeah, that's crazy. I remember Angelica eating like had to eat like 50 honey buns. I don't remember that episode at all. Wait, she throws up there. She they made her. They made her eat like 50 desserts. Yeah, she threw up.

Yeah. Made her. What do you think Angelica is up to today? You can't even stomach. She's doing well, which sucks because she was a bad person. Yeah person yeah yeah they were rich yeah not as rich as the carmichaels right suzy's mom went to the cordon bleu listen i'm sorry i hate food and snacks uh sorry man i just i don't require them you You said something like, I can't.

My weed tolerance is so high that I need to eat an entire pack of some gummies. Sometimes. To get the effect. But your problem was, you can't stomach the fucking corn syrup and the gelatin and the sucrose. candy yeah the fucking corn syrup and the gelatin and the sucrose but you can tolerate a dosage of weed that's 4 000 times the recommended amount when someone who has 350 milligrams of weed his tummy can't handle the weed but his eat his tolerance people have called to me they go you want a gummy i go is it a weed gummy they're like no i go why would i want it then wait you're having guys offer you single non-weed guys you? Oh, girl, you know, sometimes I, like, you're like, it's true.

That's what I'm saying. I go, why, what are we, gay? You're offering me a weed gummy? Potter, good set, good set. Come here, let's get a gusher. You want a gummy bear? Great job, buddy. You want a gusher?

I go, what are we doing here? No, because, like, girls over here. You know when you have a good set when dudes are throwing squirms up at you. Squirms up at you shark bites no i i so like i'll eat the gummies like i remember like when i went to a regulated weed shop you have to get the gummies in like increments so it's 10 milligrams a piece so if you get 200 milligrams that's like 20 gummies right i've been through that so you're like and you're like oh god i'm like full i have a stomach ache i ate 20 gummies this is like 20 is absurd yeah that's so many candy shops no it's absurd it's for you no no i know you because the new york ones they have like the 10 000 it'll happen i mean la it's been legal for over a decade now so it's like

it'll happen here where the wave turns like i'm staying in the east village and like every three steps is a new weed shop that's like getting ready to be a dispensary like this bubble will burst i hope you all realize yeah it's i want somebody to like take historic photos of all the weed shops in the east village just like lined up because they won't be there for it's like a real moment in time yeah are you saying that this accessibility to weed that we have now in manhattan and new york is gonna end and we're gonna be not the accessibility i'm saying that you can't possibly have all of these weed shops thrive there's no other businesses i don't understand they're on three a block that's what i'm saying like people are going to go to one and they're just going to keep going to that

one and then eventually like the other ones will go out of business and that one will be the king it's like going to be like uh a real you know just like any other business a competition and eventually those things but right now we're watching like them all get ready to like compete you know because it's not quite legal yet and they're waiting for like their licensing to go through where they can really sell weed so we're in a in a real like fun time you guys live here now this is like a weird gray area of legality it's wild wild west i don't know what's i don't know how it's legal and oh i don't no one cared here before it was illegal i remember my favorite thing to do right before covid when they decriminalized weed here was to smoke.

I walked through Times Square smoking a bowl. And I go, this is like no cop will say anything. And it didn't. I just walked right through. Yeah, the cops, they don't care. That was like, you know, 20. That was before COVID. That was the good old days.

Now they got rid of the M&Ms. Maya Rudolph's on a billboard. Yuck. Yeah. You guys live here though so enjoy it and you're in the purest a few more months yeah oh you're gonna be chicago yeah both y'all how about you rudy rudy oh yeah that's smart you think so chicago's dope it's like new york but it's like 20 hours there it's pretty dope i mean i've only spent like a couple weekends there but it's pretty dope you're gonna enjoy that's my least favorite part about it so far is when people talk about it i'm sorry

not like when people from chicago oh well i don't know any of them but i know that it's cheaper than here it's like it's a lot cheaper than it's a major metropolitan still you get all the buzz with the you know cheap yeah i mean literally any other place is cheaper that's true yeah la i was telling them la is cheaper yeah no my dad i was talking about it and he was like well i mean chicago is not cheap either and i was like dad new york is literally this year was ranked the most expensive place to live here in san francisco or banana land and we shit on san francisco now yeah after this year and he the most expensive place to live. Here in San Francisco, our banana land. And we shit on San Francisco now. Yeah. After this year.

And he couldn't get that through his head. I had a friend who paid. He was on it. I have a two-bedroom apartment, and I pay as much as a guy I know that lives in a windowless room that he shares with three dudes. His room is like a windowless room. Inside of an apartment, he shares with three people. It's crazy. I have the smallest

apartment in the world no you don't no no i did no i did you did you would walk in the door it was like a shared sink to the bathroom and kitchen one stovetop burner mini fridge then a ladder up to my bed and it was like a two-foot clearance that's like the only thing i've seen on tiktok is shitty new york apartments or really fucking nice ones yeah it's crazy. I know a person that's paid multi-million dollars and their apartment is like still kind of small. Yeah. Crazy. I don't know how you, what's it for folks?

What are we doing here? Yeah. Right. Yeah. And yeah, there's nothing really tying me here. Yeah. Let's go to Chicago dog. You coming? I'm coming. Oh oh fuck i'm like i show up what's up big cat let's get to work boys i was on anus that one time and

uh you said i had a job dude they fucking hired me yeah how'd the podcast go? They hired me. I got a podcast. What's up, big cat? So where are we staying? What's the fucking move? No, Chicago's dope, though. It's going to be a good move for y'all. Yeah, I'm excited. Very much.

I do love New York. It's kind of a weird feeling. Yeah. I do like it here. I'm having random dudes tweet me, just be like take worst career decision Nick and KB have ever made. Why? I haven't seen that. You haven't seen that? I don't look it.

Okay, I'll have to send them to you. No, it's good to go. Trust me. All right. All right. Manifest destiny, baby. You're not allowed to say that anymore. Oh, my bad.

They got panic at the disco for that. They had to say that anymore. Oh, my bad. They got Panic at the Disco for that. They had to change their lyrics. Really? I think so. Panic at the Disco. In the Buttigieg song. Don't they have something? I don't know.

Brendan Urie's been in trouble for a lot of years lately. Manifest Destiny is a race thing, I think. I don't know what it is. We just conquered the Native Americans as we moved west, probably. But it's such a good name. It's really something. It's supposed to be inspiring. I you know i mean just the phonetically yeah yeah i'm back in on it i love i mean even if it's racist i like it that's the last line of the episode

no i feel like buffalo racism is acceptable my's racist, but he married a black woman. So then I'd argue. I'd argue that. Oh, no, because dudes hate their wives. He doesn't hate his wife. And his best friend is a gay black man. So it's like, but he's still with him. Pretty borderline race.

No, he didn't go to. Definitely didn't go to school. My dad grew up in Egypt, but he's lived in Buffalo for since he was 17. So really? Yeah. You're you're you're half Egyptian. No, no was 17. Really? Yeah. You're half Egyptian? No, no, no. My dad's Greek.

I don't know the follow-up questions to finding out someone's parents are from Egypt. Are you half black? Yeah, what are we doing? What do I say to this? I should put on my college application African-American because my dad's from Africa. But my dad's parents were Greek that moved to Egypt. He was born there. My dad's parents were Greek that moved to Egypt he was born there my dad's dad died and then him and his mom

when he was 17 like a new Muslim regime came to power and he was like we better get out of here so they came to Buffalo we gotta get out of Egypt what's the most similar city to Egypt it's actually probably the two most opposite places in the world

Cairo to Egypt it It's actually probably the two most opposite places in the world. Cairo to Egypt. Cairo to Buffalo. It was Alexandria, actually, the capital. Alexandria and Tonawanda. It's so funny that you know Tonawanda. We gotta get out of here and get a fucking garbage plate. Before I moved to LA, me and my dad were

roommates together, like swinging bachelors. And, uh, to, uh, save some money. Oh save some money to live with your egyptian dad yeah yeah in north tonawanda oh yeah eerie street you know that one and the geocache i mean eerie is everywhere no but eerie street is where we lived and there was a bar on it called the cricket tavern that i'd walk to and it is like most Eisley Cantina really of North Hanawanda do you know the genre of music that they're playing in that bar creed no no in the Mos Eisley Cantina oh what is it it's called jizz George Lucas said the genre is called jizz not jazz it's space jazz but he said this. He said this in like the 90s.

Yeah, it's lore. Before jizz was known. Dude, yeah, that's Star Wars lore. Dude, yeah, you're snapping along to jizz. That's jizz? Yeah, that's cool. That's jizz. Hey, I come to it every time.

Yeah, dude. That's what you need. That's what you need. That's the Mos Eisley Cantina theme. That's so funny. Shoot first. Shoot first? Yeah. Oh, man. that's what you need shoot first shoot first oh man oh man

alright boys that was fun I appreciate you man what do you got you got shows coming up in the fall I'll be out in the east coast more I don't have any I mean I don't have any real shows I just have these three shows coming up but i have uh your podcast i have my podcast every wednesday and also uh i'll be in chandler arizona it's just outside phoenix brand

new comedy club that just opened up mike drop comedy club may 5th and 6th if you're in the east you know the southwest yeah area phoenix area i'll be out there may and then in the fall we got a whole bunch of shit coming up so just keep uh your eyes peeled all right i'll be out there may and then in the fall we got a whole bunch of shit coming up so just keep uh your eyes peeled all right there we go out there there we go all right and uh let kb open up a dj set for you dude i'd love to do it you guys can both come do whatever the hell you want on my shows anytime you want i'm mad low-key with it yeah yeah anything you want i mean i'll get you a carter cruz is a dj and she where i'm always going to her parties come open up for her yeah i'm mad low key with it so if the vibe fits

like i don't know i can swing by and like check it out yeah yeah yeah if you if you want the one thing about my sense or i can like acclimate to different vibes. But you know, that's like additional pressure, which you know can be good, can be bad. Sure, of course. It's the artist's choice. Alright, well check me out. Check him out. Yeah, yeah. Check those two out. Kyle, I appreciate you hopping on them.

Thanks, Nicky. Alright, boys. Yeah, it's a wrap. Let's run a rap game.