A New Untold Story - The Cure - A New Untold Story: Ep. 384

Episode Date: February 22, 2024

that little aids boy. Ads: Rent.App - Go to https://RENT.APP/BARSTOOL to get $50 cash back on your first rent payment. HelloFresh - Go to https://HelloFresh.com/anusfree and use code anusfree for FREE breakfast for life! One breakfast item per box while subscription is active. Mango RX - Use code BARSTOOL for a free 3-pack of ED Pills at https://mangorx.comYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, a new untold story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad free on Amazon Music. All right, you ready? Yeah. All right. Remook, you ready? Yeah. Give me a quick.

Five, four, three, two, one. Maybe. Five, four, three, two, one. Rudy. Check, check, check one, two. Yeah, cool. We're good. You want me to reject your reply to what I'm going to say?

No, you're just going to say, no, that's a new untold too. Yeah, cool. We're good. You want me to reject your reply to what I'm going to say? No, you're just going to say, like, no, that's a new untold story. Hey, isn't that story old or told? What? No, baby. It's a new untold story. A new untold story. It's a fresh, big untold story. A new untold story episode 347 343

2 shut up shut up shut up 384 384 384 okay i was close i got nothing on it that's how many people died in a indonesian tsunami uh 2018 that's yeah is that just something you remember i mean i'm sure that wasn't like the final death toll that was the first reported the article that was written uh puts things into perspective yeah like what every episode is an indonesian death indonesia has about 250 plus million people so that's like 0.00001 percent of their population probably not a big deal in the yeah dude you sound sick as fuck i am sick second sickness and uh i feel like the same shit last month i'm loopy i relapsed on kush hard edibles and the smoke uh mixing quills you're

mixing quills yeah day and mixing day and night like kid cuddy's producer yeah um that type shit um my brain isn't working i was sharp for the past month i feel like now i'm like like yesterday i couldn't remember the word beef what was the context you're trying to remember like cow meat i was like oh poultry's chicken what's like fucking steak and ribs i couldn't remember i couldn't think of beef so yeah did it frustrate you yeah i'm like oh you got stumped on a monday crossword getting something a monday didn't finish yesterday or monday yeah it's been a week god damn uh how have you been when you're homesick do you have movies that you have like because when i was homesick from school i loved our next door neighbor michelle brought me over a box of like vhs's to

watch do you watch any movies right no i didn't watch any movies but i used to like i remember my bronchitis she brought over the box i've got bronchitis once a year i'd have a big breathing machine and uh it was always veggie tales but i loved it a lot of yeah what a weird fucking concept that was veggie tales it's like what's going to get kids more into religion? Vegetables. That's like if you're doing a show to try to get people into homosexuality and it's like an anthropomorphic tight pink pussy. They use vegetables to try to get young boys into Christianity.

Certainly this will. What do young boys love? Asparagus? Squash? Shoot your asparagus. It wasn't even the good vegetables. There wasn't even a potato. Not a single potato.

No corn cob. No, no. It was the shit vegetables trying to get you into God. I remember being like six running through the discography like, I guess. It's colorful. What a horrible fucking idea. Jesus, yeah. That that converted nobody it just made it was only for kids who were already very christian yeah yeah because like vegetables

weren't scary to them for yeah yeah what a horrible fucking it was like i i got a box of that the two worst things about being a kid vegetables going to church and eating fucking and they combined it and it made it was very successful what is like the like how much money has veggie tales made billions it has to be billions no fucking way i don't think i think it was very specific to a short era that we were growing up in and it's sold for 19 million i don't think that's a lot no it's not at all 2003 oh we're like reed do you have you ever even heard of veggie oh you have okay so it is still okay i didn't know they every season imagine pitching that like what like usually when people are trying to get kids into religion it's like a

cool skateboarder or something or saying no to like yeah sin yeah or like a white basketball player yeah i'm having this weird mandela effect where i swear one of my old pe teachers was on the veggie tales was he was he animated yeah yeah he was he was he three dimensional? Was he two dimensional? So my old gym teacher was a carrot. No, he was a cucumber. Rudy, I don't think he was. I don't know, I have a pretty vivid memory of a cucumber making us play dodgeball. Rudy, I don't think so.

I don't fucking think so. Actually, no, me and Kyle's old science teacher was Mr. Yuck from the poison bottles. Yeah. My mom. Rudy, don't think so, pal. No, he told us like he was on like a voice actor. Okay. But like.

He was saying you were on the VeggieTales. How else am I supposed to say that? Which one were you? Oh, my God. Yeah. Rudy's old gym teacher, this big fucking. I think he was lying, dude. To try to which is even weirder to like try to like he was using VeggieTales as a way to like seem cool to us.

Yeah, that's the thing. And it was popular. And I think it was it good. I don't know. I didn't like it. I don't know. It was like it was a sick it good? I don't know. I didn't like it. I don't know. It was like, um, it was a sick day thing.

You were so sick. They played it at like vacation Bible school. Yeah. It was a thing that I had to go to. I went to vacation Bible school as well. And then, uh, I taught at vacation Bible school.

Oh, of course you did. The St. Mark's in Elm Grove. Yeah. Yeah. It was a, yeah.

And it was always a cool theme. I went to like Noah's Ark and you got assigned like what animal group you were in. That's pretty cool. Yeah. And it was always a cool theme. I went to a- Like Noah's Ark, and you got assigned what animal group you were in. That's pretty cool. Yeah. My buddy had a biblical nutting during a Bible retreat one time. It was wild. His nuts swelled up, right? Oh, his nuts swelled up real big, right?

Yeah. We were on a vacation. It was more like- Vacation's not the right word, but we were on a religious retreat retreat and his nuts swelled up so bad that he had to go. They called it vacation Bible school. Crazy. And you just kind of went down the street. We went to the mountains and then everyone just like started crying.

No, no, no. Ours was just down the street. Ours was in the basement of a church. Yeah. And it was, yeah, I guess it was in the summertime. So it was kind of vacation-y, but we were confined to no windows, dark, damp room. Yeah. My mom sent me there as a punishment one year.

Really? You had to go? Being a bad boy, I had to go. No, dude, I loved VBS. I was a summer birthday, so I would spend my birthday there having a great time. Yeah, I could see you liking that type environment. I did. Little fear, a little threat. Yeah. No, it was perfect. Did you ever have an era where you're like, I'm going to get into church. I'm going to enjoy it from start to finish. I'm going to participate in the songs, the Psalms, the readings, and I'm going to like it because it's something I

have to do. I have to like this. There was like one weekend where I was like, I'm going to sing every song. Yeah, I tried. You ever download bible app on your iphone after like a herpes scare just like you ever do that i have in my friend not because of a herpes scare okay i remember like a pregnancy scare or something no but i remember like i think i retweeted like bible quotes like a couple times okay to show who i was yeah really yeah i went military after a herpes scare yeah audiobook about like military men dude i had not even had sex yet and i i thought i had convinced myself i had aids um from like a from something i forget and i like was going to join the priesthood. Oh, you had a run where the seminary was? Yeah.

Jeez. No, I wanted to be a priest for a little bit. Like seventh, eighth grade. You got the body for it. Thanks, man. No, I don't have a priest body. Yeah, you do. No, I have like a deacon body or a brother body, but not a.

Or like a ghoul. Thanks, man. Thanks, man. Yeah, I have a body. I'm perfect for a ghoul thanks man thanks man yeah i have a body i'm perfect for tell him shit like this all the time but in reality he has the body of a point guard an nba point guard what is your height you've never told me that i'm six three six three what is your weight 180 you're like a you're a point guard what's steph curry he's got to be 200 six three 190 it's probably probably a little less dude if you like put a little bit of muscle what's Steph Curry he's got to be 200 6'3 190

it's probably a little dude if you like put a little bit of muscle you would be a point guard hell yeah wear like a headband okay oh shit yeah man hell yeah point guards lighter than him I think

I want to yeah I want to go out to a bar and have people think like who's that point guard over there right i think if you tightened up a little bit if i got a fade if you got a fade do you think i could convince people i hooped at a bar if you easily groomed your face a little bit got a fade um maybe just like a crash course lifting routine for just a month. Okay. Just to get the slightest amount and then a Nike tech. You're a point guard. Damn, man. Thank you. Or a priest.

Or a priest. That'd be a fire nickname if you were a point guard in real life. The priest. That would be sick. Dishing it out. Oh my god. Blessing him. Or other sick day movies yeah clap for me i hate the way he just said clap for me clap for me

clap for me pay my rent for me pay absolutely not that's a pain in the ass yeah it's historically for me there's been a lot of fees a lot of trips i bet you forget a lot too yeah between all the apps i had to manage in the past before now what yeah say goodbye to managing different apps going to the atm paying fees uh going anywhere. Why are you calling those apps? Some people, granted, they can do it on their phone digitally, but they have to manage multiple apps when it comes to paying rent.

Yeah, that sucks. That's their tagline. Oh, really? Okay? So say goodbye to doing that. Okay, yeah, yeah. Gives it goodbye. Now, even if you haven't done it

before now you don't even have to it doesn't even have to enter your radar as a possibility with rent app rent app rent that's blowing up along with ai it's innovative it's it's convenient yeah i love rent app i love the idea of it the execution of it everything i love the way it sounds rent app rent app yeah rent app sounds damn good yeah and kyle i mean this is good for landlords too because they don't have to worry about checks getting lost in the mail they're going to get their money i would say this is just as much for landlords as it is for anyone else big agree the ultimate tool for renters everywhere yeah and we have an deal. You can go to rent.app slash barstool

to get $50 cash back. That's rent.app slash barstool to get $50 back. If you're a landlord, go to rent.app slash landlord to get paid on time

without any hassle whatsoever. You can start using that as slang. Like if something's like too easy, like that was too easy, that was rent app. Yeah. Yeah. That shot right there, that lay That was Ren App. Yeah. Yeah.

That shot right there, that layup was Ren App. Yeah. Ren App. Wait, that's your girl? Yeah, she's Ren App.

She's Ren App. Yeah. Deep Blue Sea was one for me. Okay. The Halloween series. First R-rated movie I've ever seen. Swim Fan. Fuck you.

Swim Fan. Of course, Swim Fan. Mine was The Cure. It was a movie about a kid who got AIDS. first r-rated movie i've ever seen swim fan fuck you swim fan of course swim fan mine was the cure it was uh a movie about a kid who got aids it's locked in my head wait really actually it wasn't a sick day it was a hernia day when i had my surgery it's about a kid that gets aids i've never met a single other person who has seen the movie i rented it from wait when you were sick on the yak we were talking about movies. Okay, this is another one. The cure. Which one has AIDS?

The one on the shoulders, right? The one on the shoulders. What's he holding? Are they trying to find an herbal remedy for AIDS? I forget. I just remember watching it and I was like, oh, shit. But you were a little kid with a hernia and you were just like, oh, fuck. Yeah, because I even put together.

I was like, wait a second the boys here have a possible cure for wait they're trying to find an herbal cure in the woods for AIDS that was it yeah I want a Grammy for its score I want a Grammy wait can we listen to the the cure

hey man what do you listen to I'm listening to the soundtrack to the cure not the trailer we need to oh yeah we could but I think we just need the score Hey man, what are you listening to? I'm listening to the soundtrack to The Cure. Not the trailer. Oh yeah, we could, but I think we just need the score. Wait, I would love to watch the trailer for this. How does he get boy AIDS? I forget. You and a hernia. I guess.

He was told it wasn't safe Who's there? The women saw that little AIDS boy Oh shit That little AIDS boy I didn't laugh at that at the time I didn't understand how funny it was Huge fucking fence

God damn He was warned to stay away My grandmother says you're going to hell. Well, my doctor's really smart and he says he has no idea what happens. Your grandmother knows she must be a genius. She's a clerk at Kmart. But Eric took a chance

and risked everything. Jeez, you're a midget. Just keep a safe distance. What's a safe distance? Wait, what's a safe distance? Wait, this is hilarious. What's a safe distance? Man, a-na-na-na-na. Holy shit.

Just keep your distance from that AIDS boy. Well, what's a safe distance? Na-na-na-na-na. It's just a guitar riff. A guitar riff about how you have to stay away from an AIDS kid. Who's also a midget. You must be that AIDS midget. What he found

was the best friend he ever had. What's that awful smell? We accidentally stepped in your mother. He's in a grocery cart. This is like radio Forrest Gump. Simon Byers Club. Simon Birch. It's everything combined.

Just assume they find the cure. We're heading out to Baskin Robbins. A Dallas Buyers Club. Simon Burch. It's everything combined. Just assume they find the cure. We're heading out to Baskin Robbins. If we get the cure for AIDS, I'm going to get you, Sherbert. Baskin Robbins. Dude, is that sledge from the Pacific?

Yes. Not chicken pox. AIDS. She's beating her son. It ain't chicken pox, you fucking beating her son it ain't chicken pox you fucking idiot it's aids wait do they ever explain how he gets aids i don't know everyone else behind we gotta get to new orleans that's where we'll cure your aids that gumbo i was yeah I was watching this with a gigantic

throbbing gash on my groin and I was like ah nice nice I'm so glad I'm not in school wait I gotta see I gotta see how it ends spoiler alert does he get better I think the thing happens, we call it a miracle. Does he get better? I think the thing is, there's no cure for AIDS.

I didn't know if it was like fiction. I want him to bring like Baskin Robbins to his grave. And the client's Brad Renfro. In a story of two boys who made one summer last a lifetime. The Cure. This is like a movie we make. I know. I can't believe this is real.

It's been in the barrows of my mind for years. Wait, can we find the end scene? It's a southern kid with AIDS. He's a midget i guess rides in a shopping cart it's radio simon birch forrest gump yeah and i guess aids dallas well that's forrest gump oh yeah true i forgot forrest gump was an AIDS movie. Wait, is this... Please tell me... Please tell me they made this to see you again by...

Charlie Puth. They did an edit! They did a fan edit! They did a modern edit? Yeah, why? They did a slow-mo Charlie Puth. Yeah, chopped and screwed Charlie. They sped the voice.

What is it? They're playing Battleship in the backyard. Oh my fucking god. Alright, get to the end here. I'm pretty sure he dies at the end. Alright, get to the end here. I'm pretty sure he dies at the end. Yeah, he's dead. Wait, is he floating his loafer down?

That'll honor him. Wait, so he got... He sent his loafer down the creek as an homage. And he was in the casket with one shoe buried with one shoe is this that aids boys shoe i mean we have to watch it oh fuck yeah go to the wikipedia wait i want to say i want to see the funeral scene me too the film ends ambiguously wait at a restaurant is this like the sopropranos as well? That's how he dies.

He gets murdered instead of dying of AIDS. Oh, it's in black and white? Okay, so he's dead. He doesn't live. They don't find the cure. They're going to hell. Wait, why hell? Was it gay sex induced? No way.

How did he get AIDS? How did the boy get AIDS? The mom was pissed at him. Like, not like he just happenstance. Not my son. Oh my God. A blood transfusion. Oh.

Okay. That's sad. A little boy needing... Who wrote this? Oh, the shoe scene. I love the Japanese subtitles. I was trying to

believe that the universe is 18 billion light years across. So? Suppose you kept going another 18 million light years. I don't know. What if there's nothing out there? What does this have to do with the shoe? Does he sleep with his shoes in his hands?

It looks like he does. That's like his teddy bear his converse that sounds like a that sounds like a Mac Miller bar when I die bury me in my

in my Chuck Taylor's he's like he's like sleeping with his shoe yeah alright oh my god that's a damn good

sick day movie it was like the weirdest shit because you were like i guess we're like a little kid with a fever and you're just that was good that was it i would love to just like somehow be in the room when they came up with this movie because they were in a boardroom some greasy la dudes are like all right what's hot right now aids was like just a thing princess diana just touched a guy. How do we make money, kids? How do we get a kid to get AIDS? Calling it the cure. When there is no cure?

Notoriously no cure. Where did they go? To New Orleans to find the cure? Alright. Voodoo. You're going to go to hell because of this disease. What else has this guy written? Nothing.

Weird shit. Yeah. I strong Mickey blue eyes. The cure got a 7.7. It's crazy. God damn. I know there's a Reddit thread somewhere where they're connecting the cinematic universes of Dallas Buyers Club where this is his origin story yeah it's the same universe it's an aids universe

it's the aid cinematic um dude like re-watching like early 90s mid-2000s stuff it doesn't age well at all i'm re-watching monk right now that's like the ocd detective yeah and every time there's like an explosion there was this mail bomb episode it's the funniest fucking shit we're like uh effects yeah go to like a monk explode dude it's like i would rather watch movies that came out in like the 20s then bomb explodes in toilet right there and this was like to be taken seriously this was like the big budget show on television yeah remember yeah and this and then This was like the big budget show on television. Yeah, I remember. Yeah. And this and then.

It looks like. Yeah. Ketchup bottles. In the closet. Why would he do that? We were afraid to ask. Mr. Babbage hates cushions. What are you doing?

I always open the mail to pay the bills. Oh my God. Don't open that. Hey. Oh shit. Wait, this was a network TV show? Yes, this was like the big budget show. In the 2000s? Yeah.

That was the fakest explosion ever. With like the most generic bang. The whole scene is insane. Oh, don't open that package And this is like be taken seriously Let me throw it in the toilet real quick That and then when the green goblin Throws the bomb at those people

In Spider-Man And they turn to skeletons And back then it was It didn't register in our heads I think Terminator got the atom bomb right Yeah like It was a weird point in time It didn't register in our heads. I think Terminator got the atom bomb, right? Yeah, like, it was a weird point in time. That one.

Yep. I think this is the scene. No, just... And this was like the big budget. That was the movie Spider-Man. It turned them into like graphic package skeletons. Yeah.

It turned them into Dat Boy. Oh yeah. It's amazing re-watching. And that was amazing back then. But I feel like that point in time is the worst for movies aging. I would rather be way older. It's technologically advanced to have

cool effects at the time. It sucks. We're probably in the same point though to us in the future with AI. Yeah. With the AI... Sora. Which is fucked up.

They're just making girls do porn yeah that's gotta be that's gonna be a law very soon I know what you're looking at boy I'm not looking at it but I'm hearing about it that's gotta be illegal very soon it has to be it's a really really slippery slope

but I think it's gonna circle back people people are going to be entertained myself in one getting fucked yes you want to see what it's like to yeah i think um oh man yeah i would i would let it happen or if it it was just like an AI porn of you laying it down, would you stimulate yourself? I think I would laugh about it. Would it stimulate you? I think I would get a little horny. I would be too weirded out, I think. No, that's weird.

That should be very illegal. I mean, we can't watch the videos we make. You're going to watch your AI self fucking? Yeah, that's something I could handle. I don't know where the line is for you man yeah oh what else we got going on what else do we got new merch is out please go buy it yeah the mook face and then the turtle cake yeah and we'll do a non-green turtle cake after saint patrick's day that we have shout out luke blutman who makes those. Yes. Alright, Kyle, I'm fucking starving.

Oh, keep it PG. Oh, Kyle, I'm dang hungry. You're dang hungry. Yeah. Yeah, you don't want to have to run errands, get in your car. Heck no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Nightmare. Deal with other people. You're in line at the grocery and you realize you forgot an item. Fighting over the last

breadcrumbs. Oh, no more. Yeah. No longer. This is HelloFresh. They've always been good. They've always been expansive. Now they're adding even more varieties to their recipe list.

They're expansive. They're always adding, but they're still so consistent. Uh-huh. You know, whatever you're feeling, like the amount of food, if you want to go high protein, low carb, whatever you want, pescatarian keto you can you can make all you can um make all your selections and they'll customize the the perfect recipes they got poultry they got they got cow meat cow meat oh it's their cow meat is fresh a slab of the cow meat i forgot about beef. Go to HelloFresh.com slash anusfree and use code anusfree for free breakfast for life. That's one breakfast item per box while subscription is active.

That's free breakfast for life. Available for a limited time at HelloFresh.com slash anusfree with code anusfree. Someone put me onto there. They said they're scalloped potatoes. I guess that's all. What's scalloped even mean? Chipped. Cut into chip-shaped portions. Cool.

Kyle, the anus memes account. Is that run by Bobby Costa? That's run by Bobby Costa, the guy. Bobby Costa is, yeah, he's the man. He's in New Hampshire. He does this account. He's an actor. He was almost on winning time, he's the man. He's in New Hampshire. He does this account. He's an actor. He was almost on winning time, just like Titus.

Really? Yeah, he has Zagnuts before we even talked about Zagnuts. He had Zagnuts before we talked about Zagnuts. We talked about Zagnuts. He sent me a selfie. He's just, yeah, I just bought one. He recently made an appearance on a Kirk Minahan show as well. Yeah, that's right.

Oh, he did? Yeah. Who drew the picture of me that that that looks it looks so much like you it looks more like me than most photographs yes that's a oh my god mook a sketch oh come on me okay mooks is still somehow worse i love this art style i know but you look is that what kratom looks like dude that looks like a can of beans is that what your kratom's not my shit my shit's probably like less savory like worse looking what what brand of kratom do you use well when i when i'm heavy on it, well, I'm never heavy on it,

but it's OPMS. Gold. Oh, shit. That sounds like a grandma's cigarette. Pack of OPS golds. How? That? Those look like gas station dick pills.

It's worse. It's gas station premordial liquid in a little vial. What kind of effects do you get from Kratom? We've talked about this so many times. That looks better than the gunk. Yeah, I stopped. I remember I was in Nashua, and some dudes were like,

hey, you got to chill with Kratom, man. He's like, we're heroin addicts like you can't be doing that yeah didn't you like weren't you on like r slash junkie and you're just like oh shit these guys are doing way better than me yeah the sketch looks like me the sketch looks like you uh kratom you that the uh uneven pupils are fucking hilarious to me you look like such a fucking rascal yeah i've looked just like that on more than a few days it's a harrowing picture same hair can we just put that on a t-shirt same fitted hoodie well the original drawing is on the right wait what's the other one that was like

should we do a have you seen this man like t-shirt with that on it I might design that that would be so sick Nick you look like Mrs. Doubtfire yeah I look like a pudgy lesbian yeah no that's the woman screaming after Trump won

yeah right she was naughty she wasn't pudgy though i just can't if if you as if you guys ever see me trying to shave my beard to less than a three punch me in the face because that's what i look that's when you did yeah yeah well the results were devastating the kb one looks like a banksy piece i mean that looks like actual art that that looks like a very common looks like a wojak i do look like a Banksy piece. I mean, that looks like actual art. That looks like a very common... Looks like a Wojak. I do look like a piece of art. Whoever did the Wojaks...

That's what it is, the meme. Yeah. That looks like something that you'd see graffitied on the Berlin Wall of like a soldier that... We should just start making that a reaction. What would the reaction meme be? What's in your mouth my tongue

i think that's it these are funny who's drawing me i don't know man but i love them so much i want these on a t-shirt i think yeah these are as haunting as a gooya. Was it a Goya? Yeah. They're that haunting. Those are scary. Those are like the... They do depictions of hell, right? Yeah.

Is that what a Goya is? I don't know. Holy shit. Who am I? Boo hoo. My dick is soft and it can't get anything but you. Shut up. No, Kyle, that was obviously you.

That's me? That was obviously you. And no need to be ashamed because I have the fix for you. You're on the mango? Yeah. Dang. You're pulsating, huh?

You guys think you know hard. You could always get harder. It's an average. This is Rudy reading Crime and Punishment. reading crime and punishment this is hard this is hard for like dang all right even if you're not if say you you can get hard easily and for a long period of time you that's yeah that's just your baseline you can get harder you can get medically harder you can medically get harder and of course it's the mose scale and you're going to be right above diamond you're probably sitting at talc right now yeah guess what though mango rx better sex who doesn't want that

clinically proven to help you get and stay hard as a rock you can man up and visit mango rx.com start performing your best in bed i think the stigma has been lifted it's pretty normalized now but if they do offer discreet delivery and packaging if you want that. Sure do. Pop one and then just... Popping mangoes. I want to... We got to watch The Cure and react

to it. I'm kind of mad. I don't have one. A drawing? Yours are probably just too good. It's like, yeah, this looks good. Cool, yeah. You don't want one of these. Look at Mook. Yeah, they're probably just too good. It's like yeah, this is looks good. They're cool. Yeah You don't want one of these look at mook. I look great. You're divorced I've seen that face before The glazy eyes Oh mooks face this weekend

Yes, you text in the group chat that mook was like a feral lion this weekend He had a look in his eye that I stuck with me. You said I looked like a starving lion. Yes. Yes. He had a feral look in his eye that was so haunting is too mean. But it was he had a look in his eye at the bar that was desperate. Seems weird, too.

Yeah. It was like shell shock. It happens to me. Can i say what you made me take a picture of yeah sure mook this girl went to the bathroom was like hey hold my jacket to mook and mook looks at me he's like take a picture of this make sure this shit take a picture of this make sure this shit never fucking happens again i'm like wait what oh i thought you were proud no no no he was pissed it was like he felt like a pussy. There's him holding her jacket.

Make sure this shit never fucking happens again. Yeah. Look at your face. Looks devious. Yeah. Yeah. That's the lower quadrant of a scoundrel. I get like once a month I get like super hammered to the point where like I have zero control

over my facial structure and my eyes just go to the back of my head and the only two things i'm thinking about are cheese steaks and pussy you look like the mask that represents the theater like have you seen the icon that just represents theater you were i don't know why that would make you mad the The Greek muses of comedy and tragedy. Yeah, that's what you... That was you at the bar the entire time. Yes. Yeah, you were so fucking livid that a girl was like,

hey, can you hold my coat? Oh, the specs. Why don't you just wear them, man? What about them? Just wear them. Well, what about them, Rudy? Nothing, I think you look nice. Yeah.

Well, these are test pilots. They're not real. They're not prescription. I want to see. So far, I've been keeping stats. I think I've worn these in front of 18 people. Okay. Not one compliment initiated.

So it's on to the next. I'm doing a different shape, different style. Kyle, just get actual glasses and see, man. No, then I don't want to waste money on a prescription style and then have people not fuck with them. Here, put them on and let's just grab somebody and pull them in and see if they say anything. Yeah, I need something off the rip. Not just immediately.

Not like, oh, you're wearing glasses. Nice glasses. You look good. Put them back on. Yeah, just the nearest person well i knew i wasn't gonna hit on the first try those are pretty good they're all right but they're not good shit they're not the one where'd you get those felix gray they let you i thought you'd be blocked i had to use a an alias email oh my god looking back at some of the sponsors we had, like, how'd we...

We were so dumb, man. We were. Kate? Hello, Kate. Welcome back. It's been a long time since I've seen you. So many things have changed. What's changed? Oh, you look skinny as fuck.

Look at Kate go. A new hairstyle. Rudy, as always. The cool. Look at Kate go. Yeah. Yeah. You guys look great too. New hairstyle. Rudy as always. The cool necklace. The cool style. Thank you. Here we go. You're radiating. You're always with the fun shoes. Oh no. He does have fun shoes. Kate. Kate.

KB with the fun shoes. He's testing out new specs. Oh my god. Nope. Nope. Nope. Not, nope. Not gonna work. Not gonna work. No, no, I needed this. Yeah, I was prepared for this as well. KB with the shoes. Oh, you must be KB with the shoes.

KB with the fun shoes. Oh, god damn it. Thank you, Kate. Thank you, Kate. Yeah. See you soon. Yeah, see you soon. Yeah, they're fake. That was a fun experiment. That was a fun experiment that was a fun experiment see and that's what I needed

yeah she was talking to you like a nephew that was the perfect scenario she was running up and down all of our new looks and pieces she was talking to you

exactly she was she's like look at you with the glasses the fun shoes yeah the fun shoes yeah those are fun oh Kyle with the glasses. The fun shoes. Yeah, the fun shoes.

Yeah, those are fun. Oh, Kyle. I think you stick with it, dude. You look good in them. And I can be critical. I think I'm going to get LASIK. Really? I think it's a no-brainer, right?

I'm afraid of, like, error. Because if I lost my vision... You're living with error. Right, no. Glasses is an easy fix. These are fail safe. Um, these actually will protect my eyes more in case there's shards or shrapnel.

But, but what if, what if someone punched? What if LASIK fucks up? What if LASIK LASIK fucks up? What's the, what's their hit rate? A hundred percent.

No, no. I know people that are forever fucked wonky. You don't know. You don't know you don't know anybody crazy stories 90 oh it's only damn that's actually not high at all but the 10 isn't like getting if there was a 96 effects i don't know can you lose your vision i'm i'm like over time i'm increased it's not full i'm increasingly realizing how blindness is kind of a like a sham what over time you're like oh yeah i'm blind but i can i can still kind of like they can kind of see oh i thought it was just black no there's a large contingent who are just seeing blurry

granted it's still a pretty bad disability, but they're not seeing black. Why don't you do contacts instead? I don't like touching my eye. That gives me the chills. So you're going to get a laser going into your eyeball? Well, I'm passed out. No, you're not. Oh, really?

No, but it is like a 30-second surgery. Yeah, that seems easy. I have some birthdays if you want to try to guess. I would love to do that. Okay, just a few easier than last week. Wait, how does this one work again sorry he'll just we just have to guess the name okay yeah i want to get one so bad i'm never gonna get all right this person this man is turning 58 here's the clue this entertainer spilled loose remnants of his vegetable heavy bond me sandwich all over his favorite blouse carrot top exactly thank you exactly yeah you weren't close

that was yeah all right i've heard yeah it was more of a grunt about how how good how fast you were oh yeah musician turning 30 okay Okay. A Bon Me obsessed... There's a theme to this. A Bon Me obsessed sandwich nobleman got a Vietnamese mayonnaise stain on his royal robe, so he changed into a faux vintage

Aaliyah Krunak from H&M. Wait, dude, what? Yeah, these are easier um get one more time a sandwich a british sandwich nobleman okay got a vietnamese bio stain on his royal robe yeah so he changed into a crew neck happy birthday earl sat earl earl sweatshirt sweatshirt 30 happy birthday earl sweatshirt. Earl Sweatshirt. Earl Sweatshirt. 30. Happy birthday, Earl Sweatshirt. God damn. All right, Rudy, are you close? No. Okay. I don't know what Bon Mie is.

It's a Vietnamese sandwich that's loaded with carrots. Okay. They always fall off because they're a horrible ingredient structurally. Actress turning 48. Facing increasing pressure from his artsy uncle this gay third grader made a new year's resolution to spend less time sketching vegetables like crisp cilantro carrots and pickled daikon and more time perfecting various fruits. One more time. This gay third grader made a New Year's resolution

to sketch more fruits. Actress, 48. Oh, fuck you. Drew Barrymore. Drew Barrymore. All right, Rudy, you'll get this no i won't in this discovery channel reboot mike rowe tries his hand wait a minute what the fuck i have i wrote one you wrote one it's something for invention it's an invention that came out at there on this day oh i don't know what that is dirty jobs inventor removing his do-rag wait dirty jobs inventor removing his do-rag wait dirty jobs

inventor removing his do-rag this is an invention or a person it's an invention roe v wait like row waves yes wait row wave microwaves i forgot that was a thing microwave oh shit hell yeah damn and now you have a micro one uh yeah that sucks that he has a micro penis oh wait he does that's good he has the biggest micro piece that's like dude imagine that on your laffy taffy who has the biggest micro penis micro because you know he also is the type of guy who has a huge dick. Yeah. You can tell.

Yeah, you can tell. His voice, his face. He has the chin of a big dick man. That doesn't look like him. For me, it's like his neck, too. His neck. He has the chin of a big dick man. Look at his chin.

And like that leathery skin. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. In this discovery channel reboot micro tries his hand at playing michael scott putting a fish hook through his cheek for an mtv stunt hosting family feud and working as a delivery driver for a ho chi minh city derivative of jimmy johns in place of an expat named Steve.

Who are we trying to guess? Rudy, you're not going to guess. No, hold on. I'm not going to. Mike Rowe tries his hand at professionally playing Michael Scott and hosting Family Feud. It's Steve Jobs. Yes, yes, Rudy. Steve Jobs. I even threw in

the last one. I'm not going to get one. That's yes, Rudy. Yes, Steve Jobs. I even threw in the last one for, you know. That's not going to get one. That's all I have. Bon Me's aren't good. Yeah, I think they're pretty overrated. Yeah, just the structure. Who else do you think has a big dick based off face?

Micro. Micro biggest. In the top. Harrison Ford. You think? micro micro biggest in the top um harrison ford you think yeah he's same same face same kind of face that's him now maybe not you know who uh adam driver yes oh yeah any strong features large nose men yeah maybe not adrian brody though i don't know if i can see that but i could also see it close your eyes and picture no never mind not him uh who dennis quaid dennis Dennis Quaid. Dennis Quaid? Yeah. The dad from Parent Trap. Anton Chigurh, who played him in... Oh, yes. Yeah, Dennis Quaid. Actually, no, no, he has a chode.

Quaid has a chode. Rowe has just a big, big, big, girthy and long. Edelman has a big chode. Julian Edelman. But it's definitely more girthy than long. Gronkowski is long and thin. Yeah.

Like a nerd's rope. And bumpy. Yeah. Thanks for the visual. Like a nerd's rope rope was that the first thing that came to your mind when it came when long and thin

was nerds rope yeah or a rosary I didn't want to say that oh my god alright anything else that's all I got alright what an episode

god bless god bless thank you