A New Untold Story - The Green Debate - A New Untold Story: Ep. 318

Episode Date: November 17, 2022

The Knews, a check-in on KB and his mother, the Slick Chicken, a possible father episode, and a massive Green Debate with a Feits appearance. God bless. Ads: Gametime Download the Gametime app at https://barstool.link/GametimeApp and redeem code UNTOLD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). SoCo Learn more at https://barstool.link/SouthernComfortBSS Felix Gray: Check out Felix Gray Glasses at felixgray.com.com/STORY Ridge Wallet Go to https://barstool.link/RidgeBSS and use the code UNTOLD for 10% off your orderYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, A New Untold Story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad-free on Amazon Music. untold story a new untold story it's a fresh big untold story a new untold story alright alright lighting's right lighting is right.

How do I sound? I sound crispy? Crispy. You throw these headphones on. Yeah, yeah. What don't you want to sound? You don't want to sound tinny. Tinny?

Tinny is what, like, very, like, cheap speakers. It sounds tinny. Okay. Yeah, no. That's what you don't want to sound like. No. Crispy is what you do want to sound. Seedy.

You want to look? I don't want to sound seedy. What do you mean seedy? Like a dive bar. I don't want to sound like no crispy is what you do want to say you want to look i want to sound seedy what do you mean seedy like a dive bar i don't want to sound like a dive bar looks yeah yeah all right i've been so hyper conscious about headphones because i 80 of kids uh like everyone 80 of the world uses headphones about 20 drinks coffee um no uh the coffee business could buy the headphone business 90 times over it is 90 times it's coffee yes so you're saying oh apple the largest corporation the coffee business in the universe apple is far more than just headphones. No, but there's like, apparently there's like. Bose?

800 million kids aged like 17 to 30. That's not kids at all, actually. Are experiencing hearing loss because they're like the first people that have always had earbuds in. Kind of scary. I'm worried about the future of our generation from headphones. Yeah. Everyone uses headphones. Yeah. Everyone uses headphones. Everyone.

And I get the iPhone warning all the time. Really? That it's too loud? I don't. Oh, fuck. I get it every time I listen to it. Tinnitus scares me because I think I have it a little bit. When it's perfectly quiet, you hear a...

Yeah, I don't have that. You don't have it? You go to a lot of shows. I struggle with hearing. Well, yeah, but I think that's because your ears are caving in on themselves. Yeah. Like a dying star. It's a Canada goose and not Iran.

What is? Cauliflower ear. That's what you said. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. I was proud of that. That was a really good joke.

Wasn't even a joke. Yeah. How was that not? That was a joke. Yep. Yep. We are Rudy-less today. We are Owen-less.

We're Tyler-less. So we have a one camera setup. We have Mook in the booth. And not many people can rock the pale yellow. Especially somebody with your complexion. Including you. I was going to say, am I rocking this right now? No, no.

But I was going to say, you don't have a, no. But I like I was going to say you don't have a camera on you. That's probably for the best. That is that is tough. Whenever I wear pale yellow, if your teeth aren't fake white, it looks like your teeth are just yellow as fuck. When you wear yellow. Oh, I haven't noticed. Oh, yeah. Well, that's me.

I'm not. It's me. No, I haven't. Yeah. Yeah. I wear this on stage. You were that on stage. Yeah. I wear this on stage. You wear that on stage? Yeah.

I look like a peep, right? That's kind of like a joke that I fall back on. Oh, that you look at your hoodie and you say. I look like an Easter peep. Okay. Yeah. No, that's good. Do people like it?

Yeah. Not really. Peeps are gross. I almost bought you guys peeps. I went out and got you guys nerds rope instead. Good choice. Yeah. I think that's a good eye.

Good. Thank you. Thank you. I went out and got you guys Nerds Rope instead. Good choice. Yeah, I think that's a good thing. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Where are we at? Let's do the news. I switched them up. They're a lot shorter jokes today.

I feel like sometimes the segment's too long. Oh, wait. What episode is this? This is episode 318. That's northern Louisiana. I can get into it now or I can get into it later. But you're going to get into it. I'll get into it. Let's do news first. But before we get into the news, big thank you

to Game Time. Kyle, can you make a Game Time jingle? They want us to make a jingle for them. While I read the ad, you think of the jingle. As we all know, Game Time's created for fans, by fans, by fans, for fans. It's like FUBU.

GameTime is a ticketing app that makes it easier than ever to score last-minute deals on tickets to sports, concerts, and shows. I used it to go to the Rangers. I used it to see Les Mis. I used it to see Sound of Music off-Broadway. It was awesome. We have tons of Barstool fans using us. Everyone's using it. Hitting us up on social about the great deals.

Everyone is. I've been using GameTime all year. I truly have. It's easy to use. Amazing deals. Feels even like there's a scam going on. It's almost incredible. Download the GameTime app and go to the account tab to create a login to redeem the code untold for $20 off your first purchase.

Terms apply, of course. Download GameTime. Code untold. Last minute tickets. Lowest price. Guaranteed. That is guaranteed. Let's get into the news.

GameTime. Here's the same rhyme. GameTime. Here's the same rhyme. GameTime. Here's the same rhyme. And we could loop that forever. It's almost like the head-on commercial.

Do you remember that one? Head-on applied directly to the forehand. Yeah, and it works. So do that. Game time, it's the same rhyme. And I'm not lying. And I'm not struggling to think of new bars to add to the freestyle because that's the point of the freestyle.

It's the same rhyme. Yeah, pretty good. One more time. Game time, it's the same rhyme. Game time, it's the same rhyme. That's going to work. Game time. It's the same rhyme. Game time. Here's the same rhyme. Whoa. Yeah, that was pretty good. I like your rap voice. Game time. Here's the same rhyme. Yeah, it's good. That's good, man. So I have these jokes. I've realized when I'm writing the news, I think you did this to me. I've realized when I'm writing the news, I think you did this to me. When I started doing the news,

I did less wordplay jokes and now it's the only type of joke I know how to write. And I look, it's a bad, it's a bad hole that I fell. I had to Google better. There's other types of jokes. And I forget that. Yeah.

And I've realized like we've dug ourselves in this hole where we only do wordplay jokes. Wordplay jokes is just academia. Not even that. It's Googling homonyms. Yeah. And rhymes. Yeah. Uh yeah uh yeah and just like yeah i i like i got to the point where like today the world population got to eight billion

and i was like i misread that and it said eight bullion their breath must smell like bra i was like i can't do this anymore yeah so these first three are the traditional wordplay style jokes and then the next three are me trying to get back to other styles of jokes and it's way harder that i had to google types of joke because i i forgot i truly like with this in planet, I forgot how to write other jokes. It's truly has broken me. I'm starting to think like when people speak to me. I only think in like syllabical breakdowns of different words and phrases. It's disgusting.

It's horrible. I'm breaking apart multi-syllable words. I'm losing my personality. I've become soulless. Yeah. Yeah. But let's get into it. The news.

Wholesale prices rose 0.2% in October, less than expected as inflation increases. Oh, also, I did not click anything in the articles. I just read headlines and I wrote, I copied and pasted the headlines. Okay. So wholesale prices rose 0.2% in October. I don't know. Okay. If somebody asked me where the wholesale was, I'd point

to your mom. She's selling her pussy. It's probably a good price. Okay. More on that. I have actually an update on that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Your mom and that guy. A new guy. A new guy. Yeah. This is insane. I'm laughing about it, but it's

insane. Yeah, it's crazy. Dave Matthews Band from South Africa. What the hell did he do? Oh, my God. What the hell did he do? It's a whole country he can't go to. There we go.

there we go tourists visiting India's capital have been getting attacked by a group of men with bats and other blunt objects going to a new deli and getting the club that sounds delicious to me there we go lunch baby and now here's that's me

getting away from wordplay jokes. OK. Even though I think that the Dave Matthews band was the best joke I've ever written. That was the best one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks, man.

But this is me reading a headline. I just I went to the top of a Reddit news for a headline. Reddit World News for a headline. I went to the top of Reddit Entertainment for a headline and the top of Reddit Hip Hop Heads for a headline reddit world news for a headline i went to the top of reddit entertainment for a headline and the top of reddit hip-hop heads for a headline and i made myself do a joke with just those three because usually i just scroll past a headline if there's no wordplay anymore yeah and so now i'm just like okay let's try to write a joke and i don't think they're good i think they're actually bad um let's see though yeah china has chinese style democracy is what xi jinping said to joe biden that's like kb saying he says has kyle style heterosexual sex

you're fucking a man yeah no this isn't gay. This is just Kyle style. Sex. Margot Robbie says her Pirates of the Caribbean film is no longer happening. With that off her plate, she has time to be the lead in a movie I wrote called Sex with Nick. All right. All right. Yeah. Now we got different ventures. Blueface arrested for attempted murder in Las Vegas.

He's saying that the guilt belongs to another rapper, Red Handed. No, that's fire. Okay. That's good. All right. Yeah. So we're good. Yeah, we're good.

Okay. So I'm going to maybe even next week i'll go no word play unless i can do another dave matthews band that that was a good one thanks man it took me a second i was like oh my god shouldn't have man it shouldn't have what do you got kyle glenn quagmire wait do you should do a family guy style news is that what you're doing family guys real i thought that'd be the funny to start the first one with. Glenn Quagmire. Glenn Quagmire, born Glenn Quagelcheck, is the sex-crazed, perverted neighbor of the Griffins.

Let's get into some housekeeping notes. Wait, did you just want to? Yeah, I wanted to do that. That's my joke. That's a really good scene. That's not wordplay either. Just catching everybody off guard. Fucking Glenn Quagmire.

Shit. Well, housekeeping. It's 48 degrees. It's gray, dismal. I've been in a persistent state of brain fog since Houston. Yeah. Haven't had a sip of alcohol. I've been doing everything right.

I've been healthier than ever. Drinking a gallon plus of water a day doing cardio and weights going to the sauna getting seven eight hours of sleep. Wow. Hydration. Yeah. It's perfectly. Wow. Eating healthy persistent brain fog still my brain. Yeah, it feels like a Stephen King novella. The fog? Yeah, I'm trying to think of a foggy book. It's really weighing on me because after like day five, I'm like, this is when it should be getting better, but it's not. Like writing a joke feels like assembling lego bugatti yeah and interacting with people

it feels like solving a sudoku what else do we got jesus christ man uh yeah just like just day-to-day just basic social interactions it's like opening a an old door with new keys so yeah i'm but i'm not depressed um it's just it's just it's hard so wait wait um so that's my mental state. I haven't I stopped masturbating. I haven't masturbated since November for All Saints Day. Yeah, you 100 percent masturbated in Houston. That's the first thing you do in hotel rooms.

I don't kind of weigh games. What else do we got? Physical. I weighed in at 164 pounds. That's my personal record. That's the most I've ever weighed. How much? Yesterday, 164.

There's no way you're one. I'm 10 pounds more than you. I'm 164. I think I'm 180. Okay. Crossword. I did the mini in 34 seconds today. Got beat by Tommy Smokes.

Okay, hold on. I haven't done it yet today. Should I do it right now? You can do it right now. The regular crossword, I got tripped up on my neighbor blank. It was a Japanese animated film. Totoro. It was Totoro. That's what fucked me over. Couldn't finish it. Yesterday, I got tripped up on

a five-letter refrain from Old MacDonald. The answer was news? A five letter refrain from old McDonald. The answer was E-I-E-I-O. That's so easy. That's what fucked me up on the Tuesday crossword. That's so easy. Wait, you got fucked up on E-I-E-I-O? I couldn't get E-I-E-I-O.

What letters did you have? I had the E and the both E's. Yeah, I didn't get it. Yeah, you should have gotten that one. What else? Music, music. My music of the week is the Andre Azizov remix of Venice by The Lighthouse and The Whaler. It's Electric by Vance with two A's and D-Rock with two E's.

house in the whaler it's electric by vance with two a's and d rock with two e's it's jay mappel with two p's two e's and two l's by ben's with two z's and flexin by blake those are my four music recommendations all not too mainstream at all um tiktok of the week is la pista del infante it's just finished the uh 28 28 that yeah so that beat me as well that one was kind of built for me um food of the day and a muppet hint i love the muppets cookies that's my food of the week why is that your food of the week um i had some good ones the other day back to the basics probably the one of the best desserts well we're sponsored by crumble cookies crumble cookie has chocolate chip and they are they're the best of cookies they're the best of which disappointment of the week was the pork belly panko apple bow and cherry

hoisin duck wrap from wagamama and nomad i got it for delivery yesterday the bao bun had the consistency of old foam installation and the taste of new foam installation. So I guess it wasn't as bad as it looked. The panko apple complimented the pork belly like a third grader with the crush. And the cherry hoisin duck wrap was 85% wrap and only 15% duck. Granted, the duck was good, but it was mostly wrap. I was biting into a lot of bread. Dickhead of the week is the Pokemon Pseudowoodo.

Why? It's just a tree with a face. But it's rock. It's a pseudowood. It claims to not be a tree. No, it's petrified wood. It has a brown log-shaped body with three green spheres at the end of its fingers and a forked branch on top of its head.

It's pseudowood. It's a tree. It's pseudowood. I know. It's horrible wordplay. It's a stupidudo-Wood. It's a tree. It's Pseudo-Wood. I know. It's horrible wordplay. It's a stupid Pokemon. I love Pseudo-Wood-O. You have to use your watering can

in Pokemon Silver and Gold to get it out of the way. Doesn't like water. It's a rock type. Okay. Squirtle is squirt water. Yeah. Yeah, there's other pun names

in Pokemon, not just Pseudo-Wood-O. Yeah, dude. New Pokemon comes out tomorrow. Mine arrives. It comes out in two days, but mine arrivesseudo-Woodo. Yeah, dude, new Pokemon comes out tomorrow. Mine arrives. It comes out in two days, but mine arrives tomorrow. And it leaked on Steam Deck, so a lot of people have been playing. But, yeah, I'm really excited.

I'll be able to recap you guys every week on what's going on. Let me know. I'm running with Quacksly, of course, the gay duck. I'm always the water starter. Very excited. What edition? Violet. Violet.

I feel like I have to. My embarrassing moment of the week uh if i don't know if you can count yak basketball as this week that was horrible for me horrible yeah i thought you won mvp yeah i didn't score yeah that's the whole thing it was it was just a big joke on nick it was bad uh today i said preach to the black guy working at starbucks and it was awful wait what was the context one of like the animated uh employees i will ask you open-ended questions like how you living man like what's been up and i guess i didn't give him a strong enough answer so he was like what's what's wrong you got girl issues and he started talking

like yeah i didn't say yes he was like yeah the girls come and go and then I was just I said preach and yeah that made me feel bad that's really tough man what else we got wait I like this I like this why don't we just do this I know along with the news

fuck yeah fuck jokes I want to be real I have a dickhead of the week who's a dickhead of the week. Who's your dickhead of the week? My dickhead of the week is Bo Snirdley on Twitter. Oh no. Snirdley? What do you expect from him?

Snirdley keeps fucking tagging me in mid-air collisions. There was one at the Dallas Air show. People send them to me too. They're happening a lot. A lot more than you'd think. Yeah, it's like oil spills. Since we first brought it up, whatever, like a month ago. But Snurdly gets me and everyone.

Snurdly. Keep it coming, Snurdly. Maybe forge some things. No, that is my dickhead of the week is Bo Snurdly. Yeah, that's fucked up. 44-year-old of the week is Diplo. Diplo is older than NBA Youngboy and NLE Choppa combined.

He's older than Madison Beer and Billie Eilish combined. He's older than David Dobrik and Charlie D'Amelio combined. He's older than two younger people. And he's older than Charm Norris, Steel McBroom, Posey Rain LeBrant, FGTV Sean, and Machine Gun Kelly combined.

Wow. Wow. 44-year-old. What was that Diplo tweet about? Like it took me 35 years to realize women aren't worth it or work is better than women. He posts like a child. Yeah. And he's,

and he's everywhere. It took you 35 years to stop being horny. He's, he's slowly losing the battle of narcissism. He's not going to be able to maintain this lifestyle. No, he's, I can't believe he's 44. He's everywhere. He's always posting. He's not going to be able to maintain this lifestyle. No? I can't believe he's 44. He's everywhere.

He's always posting. He's always at events. He's always being seen. Oh, a new Twitter account. I like his celebrity jet tracker. Shout out Michael Greer, who retweeted it. It's awesome just seeing where the celebrities fly. Kendall Jenner takes an 11-minute flight,

or Kylie Jenner takes an 11-minute flight every day from LA to wherever she lives. 11 minutes every day where did where would that even take that's like a that's one that's 1500 tons of co2 emissions oh that's bad right that's like that's a lot of yeah um the my mom yeah people are still texting my mom as recently as just an hour ago she updated somebody text she said i got this text today i'm assuming it was for you fyi i did not respond thank you uh the text said it took her everything she had not to respond the text said bimbofication is a solid reddit obviously for me and i went to look it up it is yeah it's it It kind of gets weird. Is it a fake tit thing? It's like a glow-up, but sexually explicit glow-up pictures.

Oh, that's weird kind of though. No, yeah, I don't want to see the before. So no, it's not. I'm not going to subscribe to that. What else? This is a good news segment. Northern Louisiana, we're talking Shreveport. We're talking Bossreveport.

We're talking Bossier City, Monroe, Alexandria, Ruston, and Natchitoches. Not Natchitoches. Did you say Natchitoches at first? You've been hyper aware of city pronunciations since the incident. Well, this area of Louisiana, it obviously sucks. It's very bad. It's a bad place to live. Northern Louisiana, it obviously sucks. It's very bad. It's a bad place to live. Northern Louisiana, it's poor. They're

like a cultural purgatory as well. They don't really get rocked by hurricanes, though, do they? No, but they're like Cajun light. They're like Diet Deep South. They're like Walmart version of Arkansas, ironically, and off-brand Texas. So they're none of those things.

And they're like Shreveport? Bad city. Is it? Bad city. Phenomenal Mount Rushmore of celebrities. I am actually excited to hear this. Phenomenal. We have an Oscar winner, a Grammy winner, a Super Bowl champion and MVP, an NBA champion and MVP, and Hurricane Chris.

Whoa, Hurricane Chris? Yes. It's from Shreveport? Oscar winner. Okay, let me guess. He won Best Supporting Actor. Best Supporting Actor, Oscar winner. Give me a range of dates. Early 2010s. Interesting.

Start alongside Matthew McConaughey. leto jared leto wow from bozer city wow he's half cajun but he moved to la very young uh he i think yeah he spent some time there though of course yeah born counts this guy nfl player three superbowls two mvps Foul player. Three Super Bowls, two MVPs. From Shreveport. Three Super Bowls, two MVPs. Do you know him? Moog will know him. Drew Brees.

He has a famous play. Nick Foles? That's one Super Bowl. He has a famous play? Famous play. Not like a Broadway, but like a football play. Franco Harris. No. Terry Bradshaw. Terry Bradshaw is from but like a football play. Franco Harris. No.

Terry Bradshaw. Terry Bradshaw is from Shreveport. The next one, 11-time NBA champion, five-time NBA MVP. Bill Russell? Bill Russell from Monroe. I knew that because when he died, Mince... Mince is from Monroe, I think. Mince is from Monroe. It's like the most dangerous city in America.

And Mince is from there? How did It's like the most dangerous city in America. Mincey's from there. How did he not get murdered? They said there's a one in 15 chance, a one in 15 chance that you will be a victim of violent crime if you live in Shreveport.

That is disgustingly high. And Mincey is from there. Yes. Mincey walking through Shreveport probably looks like a Twitch streamer playing Kirby's Dreamland. Everything's attacking him and just doesn't notice.

Just sucking things up. Yeah, he must have committed the crimes. He had to have been. He had to have. Mintz has had to have been mugged, right? He probably didn't know. Yeah. Pickpocketed.

The artful dodger. I can see him also being a pickpocket on accident. Accidental pickpocket? He just was too close to the guy and reached into his pocket. I can see him also being a pickpocket on accident. Accidental pickpocket? He just was too close to the guy and reached into his pocket. That was a really good sound of a man sliding into another man's pocket. Next one. Probably one of the most famous lawyer of all time.

Kardashian? More famous. Maybe. One of the most famous quotes of all time oh uh if the glove doesn't fit you must acquit donnie cochran yep um the next one uh grammy winner country music hall of fame is this just an is this an educational podcast yeah today no jokes it's earnest it's hank williams jr so a good crop of celebrities, but... And then who's up next in Shreveport? It's Colleen Klinkenbeard, a voice actor. What's she voice acting?

Video games. Dragon Ball Z series. Who does she voice? I don't know. Who does she voice? Shreveport, yeah. It has one of the highest crime rates. The city...

It was ranked the worst city to find a job in 2018. It was ranked number two in 2019 city to find a job in 2018. It was ranked number two in 2019's fattest cities in America. Okay. And ranked last among all cities in its inclusion of low-income and minority residents in the city's economic prosperity. And it was ranked one of the least safest cities in the U.S. Did we just gloss over your mom's stuff? You brought it up, the bimbo thing.

But then you got heavy on northern Louisiana. Yeah, that was it. That's the only thing? She's not messaging the other guy anymore? I don't think. That's good. She would lie to me, though. She would.

Because it's technically an affair with her husband, my guy. So I don't think she would tell me the details. Yeah. Is she having an affair with a listener of your podcast? I don't know. Is your job going to be responsible for your family falling apart? It already is. Yeah? It already is. Yeah. Yeah.

It already, oh, that's yeah. That ship sailed? Yeah. Wait, why? Your family group chat has to be a war zone. Um, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

What about yours? My family group chat? You guys are overwhelmingly positive with each other. Very good family life. Yeah. But is there, what is something like the low moments? Let's see what my family... Everybody has a family group chat.

My mom sent a picture of some construction paper penguins she's making to hang on. She's a substitute teacher to hang on the door. It doesn't get nicer than that. Jesus Christ. A picture of my sister's new tutu. She's a professional ballerina.

I'm aware of this. Very skilled one. Very successful. Picture of the dogs. They just got groomed. And that's pretty much it. There's a picture of me in Houston sent to them. It's pretty nice.

That is nice. We play a trivia game. It's called Brain Candy That is nice. We got the... We play a trivia game. It's called Brain Candy. Brain Candy. I do Brain Candy with my family. It sucks so bad. I don't want to tell them that it's one of the shittiest trivia sites

probably on the internet. They set their scores in my group chat. I can't. At this point, we've been playing for years. Every day. My dog Cooper got an Argyle sweater. That was a big day in the group chat.

Wow. Goddamn. So sweet. Speaking of family life connor the last we heard from you your parents were blissfully or not so blissfully unaware of what you do for a living unaware nonetheless um they're now very aware of everything of everything yeah so this comedy should have never happened what do you mean it should never gotten at this point no i mean yeah i'm just like bad with like your family group chat sounds nice.

My family group chat is like a tick tock of John Fetterman and eight people replying. That's disgusting. You know, so it's like very different. I get it. Yeah. Type of situations. But yeah, they're aware they want to come to a stand up show, which I'm very nervous about. Dude, this is this is heartwarming and long overdue.

Yeah, I guess. So now you don't have to lie about just being in the state of Texas for whatever reason. Yeah, yeah. They know you're working at Barstool. They know I'm working at Barstool. They love Barstool. They love Dave. My entire family asked about Dave's pizza reviews.

Okay. The first time I told them, they're like, you know, the pizza guy. And I was like, never met him. yeah boss boss man yeah you you should get them the pizza oven for for christmas that's a good that's a good idea do you see we have a pizza oven now what do you mean we barstool oh we like we're selling them at walmart oh nice yeah i thought we were getting a fake rolexes i really are getting fake rolex i realized i've been living in my new apartment for like four months i realized like three days ago that I don't have a microwave. I don't need one because that was the first time I ever even tried.

I got a microwave the beginning of this month for the first time in two years I've had a microwave. You're doing like experiments or food culinary purposes? I signed up for a culinary or experimental purpose. I guess both. No, I signed up for a i signed up for culinary or experimental purpose i guess both uh no i signed up for a ketosis meal plan every meal will send me spiraling deeper and deeper into ketosis i've already canceled it it was the worst garbage i've ever had my first two meals good everything else inedible gag inducing one of the dishes was just called slippery chicken oh no slippery chicken no i made that up but the damn that should have been the fucking name because my it was it was evading

it was it was so frictionless on this chicken my fork couldn't penetrate it that's yeah yeah it was slick chicken that's i'll take a slick chicken that's that's a mcchicken without the breading dude yeah you know how there's like the McGangbang that's the new rage is making a slick chicken you get two McChicken you get three McChickens no buns and just take the breading off with your bare hands

and have it like that first person to send in a slick chicken review we will make an anus care package for you send in the slick chickens. Obviously, from start to finish, you order, rub it down with your hands, eat. I want you to brag to somebody else in line, just be like, you know there's a secret menu. Like it's in there.

It's like, I'll do a slick chicken. And someone, what can the E-I-E-I-O be? It can be egg. E-I-E-Egg. There's no I. There's no foods that begin with I. Not even one. Not in the English language.

Ice cream. Yeah, okay. Egg, milkshake, ice cream. Oh, no. Just the vanilla cone. Egg, vanilla cone. Egg. And no one knows about E-I-E-I-O.

Everybody knows about E-I-E-I-O. I forgot what refrain means. Oh, you just thought it meant stop, pause. Guys, we couldn't do this podcast without Felix Grey. They're back. I've missed them. I still wear

them. Miss talking about them. Fuck blue light. Fuck it to death. I think we can all unanimously agree that blue light is a net negative and but probably a detrimental i don't even is it a thing is it a now what is it what is blue light what do you yeah it's a now what is blue light it's the light that comes from all screens oh okay so not blue is kind of arbitrary in the name no it's the type of light okay yeah it's it both of those letters are

necessary blue light yeah okay it's a different type of light than like a light from a a bulb or the sun or a star uh felix gray makes prescription and non-prescription glasses specifically designed with lenses that filter blue light and reduce glare the lenses filter out 15 times more blue light and can make screen time tough on the eyes disruptive to sleep we've had this ad like how many times you don't know what blue light is i've more blue light and can make screen time tough on the eyes, disruptive to sleep. We've had this ad like how many times? You don't know what blue light is? I've heard blue light. I never knew what it specifically was.

You know, I have a pair. I wear them when I'm watching TV at home. It's great. Why would you sacrifice style for function when it comes to Felix Ray blue light filter glasses? They're cool looking. I like the tortoiseshell pattern. Go to FelixRayGlasses.com. That's F-E-L-I-x-g-r-a-y

glasses.com slash story s-t-o-r-y free shipping free returns free exchanges felixrayglasses.com slash story um I'm gonna use that promo code mine got stolen on Monday why would somebody steal glasses

so I did somebody with the same prescription as you well maybe I don't well no they're not prescription they're just blue light but monday i was supposed to stay at my boys place and i booked a hotel because i wasn't feeling great i just wanted to like be alone be alone so i booked a hotel i thought i was getting a sick deal for 80 dollars i show up and it's me in a hostel with three aust dudes. You did zero research. Zero research.

I booked a hostel on accident. Wait, wait. Okay. And I get in there, start freaking out. Because I'm like. What separates a hostel from like a motel? A hostel is just like one room with a bunch of bunks. Yeah.

So I walk into a room with bunk beds. And I see three random men. American ones. Yeah. that's still a thing yeah very popular in europe disgusting and 80 bucks is expensive for that it seems i thought i was getting like a deal like the expedia website was like get this right now whatever i booked it and uh monday morning i woke up my glasses were gone so an australian stole your glasses yep no no No. No, no.

I'm obsessed with this Australian kid on TikTok. He lives in like the a bad part of Australia. So I guess anywhere. And he pours concrete for a living. Easy with that. But go on. Sydney? Melbourne? Yeah.

Adelaide? Perth? Oh, he's not in any of those. He's almost like central. The Australian like country or like. He's almost like central. The Australian country. It's like reverse Canada. It fascinates me. Yeah.

Like the rednecks from Australia. Oh, so this is a redneck from Australia, and I don't understand a word he says. He went into the Cerbo to get a meat pie and a Coke for six bucks. Going into Cerbo. I can't even do the voice. But he sounds like he's yawning all the time as well so yeah he's awesome yeah ticked eyes what it's a good app i'm back in a damn good app it's a damn good for all the bad there's like some really good shit that you would never discover

without it it's things i didn't even know i'd be interested in and i'm very interested in it um so everybody we work with is like getting a product so like big cat has coffee busting with the boys has a whistle pig as does kfc they all have their own specialty specialty bottle uh pink whitney i believe there's the the beer now that the chicklets has. I want a product. Like tangible. I mean, all those are drinks. Maybe a service. You want to give out a service? No.

A cervix or a service? I'm thinking words now. It sucks. That does. We got to stop doing that. No, no. Next week, no wordplay jokes. No, but I do want a product.

Yeah. I mean, what are you thinking? I don't know. Like something easy. I'd love to do like bottled water. Yeah. Yeah. That's probably the easiest thing to do.

And if we could get it on the store, like we don't have to go to the factory and test it. That's smart too because people are going to buy bottled water and there's no, when I buy a bottle of water, there's no basis. I just go, I just pick a random one. I grab, if one isn't that cold, I'll grab, it doesn't matter the brand. If anyone had like the iota of fun depicted on the packaging, I would buy it. Yeah. If it was like your face. I'll make the, no, it shouldn't be our our face we should make it look like a classy ass water bottle

i kind of want a water bottle that has like cross mini crosswords on it you the thing is you only like one thing at a time yeah yeah. So, of course, your input is crosswords. I like the Andrei Azizov remix of Venice by Lighthouse and the Whaler. Okay. I said that when I was recommending music. I was too busy getting the crossword done in 28 seconds. 11,000 views on YouTube. That's nothing.

Go check them out. Who told you, Maresh? I actually found that Maresh recommended Jam Uphill by Benz. It's pretty good. Maresh won Drake tickets, dude tickets dude how i don't know he's the luckiest best guy in the world and invited me and i said no you said no i don't like drake i i do i'm yeah it's drake and taylor swift are the artists of our generation you think so their longevity is amazing what about we since the advent of twitter people have been making drake jokes 2012 to 2022 consistently yeah no breaks that's impressive that is impressive wow i played tennis for the first time fun you think tennis is

fun i think it's very very hard yeah that's what i was worried about it would be too hard but i was good enough to at least like return it if it was at least return it if the return to me was pretty easy. I can't serve. I didn't even try to serve. I tried to play tennis in college because my tower that I lived in, my dorm, was right next to a tennis court. Can't serve. I can't backhand, so I was just shuffling left permanently. Okay.

But it was fun. Do you think you'll play more? I'm ghosted by my tennis girl. She's done. Done. Well, you can double text Venus Williams. Yeah, I can. Not many.

Not many others can. Why don't you do it? You know Dan Bilzerian's jet was built in 1984? It feels like old for a personal jet everybody else is like 2003 that is old awful news on the terrain front what i went to go get my license renewed because i've been carrying my passport around and it's made me feel kind of nervous my license has been expired for two years because i've been in new york before the dmb no you didn't need like a little snack to hold you over just in case it was like that's what i My license has been expired for two years because I've been in New York. Did you eat before the DMV?

No. You didn't eat like a little snack to hold you over just in case it was like, that's what I would do. I woke up and I had a Huel shake. Banana flavored. Wasn't great. But I go in. I have to retake the driving portion of the test because my driver. Do the driving portion again? Yeah.

My license has been expired for two years i thought that was a one and done 16 as did i i let my license go expired for two years where are you gonna do that don't know but it's i'm only in my film yeah that's insane it'll be well you're gonna have to parallel park yes i can't do that i know i can't either and a driver's test in new york city i was like okay i'll just take it back when i go back to west virginia it's easy to drive on the wide streets of moundsville guess what oh not a resident I can't do that. I know I can't either. And a driver's test in New York City. I was like, OK, I'll just take it back when I go back to West Virginia. It's easy to drive on the wide streets of Moundsville. Guess what?

Oh, not a resident. I'm a New York resident. Oh, fuck. I have to retake my fucking driver's test. And I would have anybody saying, oh, it'll be easy. No, it won't. No, I'd rather driver's test in New York City. I would rather go back in time and fight in the Civil War.

Parallel Park once in Manhattan. Yeah. Like a one battle. One battle's fine. Yeah. No, I know. That's an nightmare. I am.

Can we all go? Because like, you know, we're discussing a Chicago move and you need a car in that city. I got to think about that. And so I was like. I will die via automobile, I i think you're the worst driver on the planet earth and i refuse you refuse you refuse to wear glasses i was in youngstown i had to drive every day from i drove with you at night to the ogilby good zoo we were going to oh my glasses were stolen my car got broken into in youngstown both pairs were stolen in my uh child

evaluation kit in the briefcase was stolen. They probably thought that was something more valuable. It was just a bunch of puzzles and blocks. I'll dive via automobile. 100% Will, you're the worst driver I've ever seen. It wasn't that

you were driving fast. You weren't even driving slow. You were driving the exact speed limit and I feared for my life constantly. i don't think you have depth perception because you didn't know when turns were coming and i also don't oh no turns trip me up that's like one of my that's the hardest part that's one of my least favorite parts of driving is the turns but i also like you know like humans have like the internal gyroscope scope you know when like you're tilting he doesn't know that either no raking the internal gyroscope, you know, when like you're tilting. He doesn't know that either. No.

Raking the type of ways to drive one straight, two curves, three turns. Yeah. Yeah, because you weren't even good at like the roads that like you had to adjust the wheels slightly. And you were bad in parking lots. Oh, yeah. Parking lots. They're not they're not meant for driving they're meant for

parking so when i have to drive through one i i don't know what rules to follow you were you are truly the worst driver ever yeah but no no uh no wrecks no wrecks under my belt and i was i drove a lot do you have any have you been pulled over um four speeding tickets one texting and driving two one no turn signal you that's about it you have some brush ups with the law though yeah i've never been pulled over i'm with kb here dude i don't drive i haven't driven a car in four years now so i'm too scared you're too scared do you have a license i have a license terrible anxiety panic attacks do you have a car that's lame dude it's very that's really fun no no i love driving

yeah no i still love it music you can't there's only that's the one place i can use it driving top top one ah yeah number one and i do you roll windows down when you're listening to music um i don't know i don't like windows down no feeling but i would i would go on routes where i would find like the least busiest road in the area and just drive for like two hours. Oh, yeah. I would too. Go down to the Palace of Gold and back. That's like two hours free driving.

So in Columbus, I tried to do a year without internet. And it was also the last season of Game of Thrones. And so I would go watch Game of Thrones. I would drive with my computer to a hotel and watch it in my car. That's lame as fuck too. What is? what is that yeah that's kind of lame what the fuck yeah i mean yeah i don't have internet now i guess yeah you don't you still don't have internet at your apartment you pay that was the craziest realization i always make fun of kyle for not having internet he would have to come over my place he had the equipment. He just didn't plug it in. It was so easy.

It was intimidating. There was four different compartments, devices, and then a bunch of wires and manuals. Yeah. I can't. No. It's like two plugs. We'll figure it out. Do you still have the equipment?

We'll figure it out. Chicago is the long-term goal to get some internet. The goal. We don't even have an office. We'll get, yes, long-term goal. Yeah, I guess so. So what, do you watch everything on your phone? Do you have a TV?

Everything on my phone. Because you can't see beyond this. Yeah, it's perfect. I wouldn't, even if I had a TV, I would still use my phone. I was like that but uh i've become a tv guy i've also become a gamer what do you have a nintendo switch light i played it on the i don't i love undertale i beat it that's one of my favorite games i've been playing subnautica i love terraria i love base building games i love civ love stardew valley

i'm a gamer fully fledged yeah it's a blast it is yeah once you get into it from what i remember i feel i've been feeling constant dread lately i've been miserable and i i refuse to distract myself for about five years video games should be more popular with the older you get yeah we yeah and i don't have the attention span for movies i tried to go see a movie that uh banshees of uh irish shawla the the guy that did in bruges with the same people oh i heard that was great it was sad as fuck you saw it yeah did you like pause it to look up the synopsis i read the synopsis before i went it was in theaters i always do uh but yeah i just didn't i don't know i think tiktok

ruined my attention spam we've talked about that i yeah do you know how many videos are like i'd say 90 of videos are like the dual videos of like sand cutting it's i i don't even notice it even though i just was talking i don't notice it i keep like yeah it's insane if i see if a 15 second youtube ad pops up i exit out of the video if something buffers for two seconds i exit out i don't know my something happened in my brain where i can watch both things with like separate eyeballs and it goes to different compartments of my brain like the split split videos. Yeah, the split videos work. I caught myself, I was watching yesterday, I was watching

season two, episode three of Lost and I was also on my computer watching this kid beat every 3D Sonic game in a weekend, in a week. And I was watching both. I do that a lot. I'll put two football games up top and then like Game of thrones like

right next to me on my laptop what the fuck it's weird i didn't even i didn't realize i was doing it yeah yeah it's it's it's awful it's awful what's going on right now our clip retention rate went up with really with the videos wait it gives you that data yeah on tiktok oh i don't even want to know yeah no it's disgusting yeah as soon as you see like just two guys looking like us. If I were to scroll, yeah, any podcasters are always ranking like fast food or something. And I just go, I don't. I just got the confidence or my hair just got to the length where I could like tuck it behind my ears and I don't have to wear a hat all the time. I was in like an awkward phase for like seven months and

i went hatless today and like i got like somebody said i look like cujine oh shit no you i don't think so at all you don't want to look like him and you don't uh good guy he's been in the office great guy i don't think i look you personally you just can't you couldn't rock his face my person with my personality yeah you just couldn't rock his face. With my personality. Yeah, you just couldn't rock it. Nothing against him. Nothing against him at all. You just couldn't rock his face. There are some faces you can't rock.

Rudy sent a message. He said, can you guys pass along a message? He said, if missing the homies is a charge, then I'm a guilty man. Gay. Dude. I gave you a nerd's rope and you're eating it. Wait, what? Half the time you're not in the mic. No, my bad rope and you're eating it. That's the way. What? You half the time you're not into them in the mic.

Yeah, my bad. Yeah, I forgot. I had him. You had nerds rope or the mic. That's a good flavor rope, isn't it? How are you eating the rope? Did you condense the rope and went for a full bite? Interesting.

I don't like appendages. You don't like what? Like long, skinny things like a pen, like thatages. You don't like what? Like long, skinny things. Like that shape. What about pasta? I don't eat pasta. I don't either. I hate pasta.

It's very good. No. As you're eating it. No. After that, garbage. I think Italian is the worst food. No. I stopped eating Italian.

I can't tell you the last time I've had it. Never worth it. Going to catch some flack for that fuck it i want to be on a fully mediterranean diet i've been having a jar of olives a week ew ew yeah that's gross nobody's ever taken that long to eat an earth's worst food that i can tolerate i said this olives olives no i have a jar a week now it's probably really bad for you yeah i was gonna say why are you doing this? It's my new favorite food. Okay. Because I got a big bowl of olives in the airport.

Because, I don't know, I just, there was nothing. Airport food sucks. And I was nervous. I was drunk. So I got a bowl of olives. And I thought Nicky Bowl of Olives was a cool nickname. Is it not? It's a cool nickname, but it's.

Oh, here comes Nikki bowl of olives. Olives are in your top one fifth, 1000 foods. That's a problem. Okay. Next week. I want to your top thousand foods. Olives will be in it.

I'm trying to think you don't, you haven't even had a, how many foods have you had in your life? Yeah, that's a lot. Not many foods. I think, but I think there would be a thousand above olives.

No. Olives are probably realistically, I always use hyperbole. That's the nature of the podcaster. Olives are in my top ten. Top ten. Honest to holy shit i love olives i think it's because it was like so late to the game i'm shrimp crazy too it's fair it's fair how are you still eating nerds rope that's one of the faster candies to eat well it's the nerds and there's the sticky. The rope. Gooey part.

Did you forget the second ingredient of nerds rope? No, you forgot about it because you were wondering how I was so slow to eat the nerds rope. You can eat nerds rope faster. You forgot about the rope. I guarantee you I can eat a nerds rope faster than you can eat a box of nerds. No, I would swallow them all. Okay. Okay. At once.

Next week is also the great race. Okay. Yeah. New experiment. I'll just swallow them all okay okay next week is also the great race okay yeah new experiment i'll just swallow them um by next week i mean friday because we'll be both going home uh and then uh we've also scheduled uh some guests on the podcast yeah special guests a dual dad episode i think oh shit i think so that we'll see how that goes i think we shouldn't just be we shouldn't be here they should just do it just them do it yeah i don't know what they talk about probably would no it would definitely suck yeah it would be really fucking bad um final sponsor of the day ridge

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I skipped one. So we're going to have to go longer and talk again. They've been loading us up with ads. Jesus. The least they can do is get us a bottle of water. What else is there? What else is there? What else is there? Oh, SoCo, which is...

You don't have to read the script with SoCo. You have to. Yeah, yeah. Whether you're at a festival tailgate... Whether you're at a festival tailgate birthday party, SoCo is the ready-for-anything whiskey. We've talked about it. It's my favorite liquor. No lie. I know hyperbole is the ready for anything whiskey we've talked about it it's my favorite liquor

no lie i know hyperbole is the nature of the podcaster but i think it's my favorite nature of the podcast my favorite cocktail liquor it's packed with flavor and it makes a great a tremendous soco sour soco and lime whiskey sour same shit soco Black has just the right balance of sweetness wrapped in smoke flavor for those who like their whiskey bold like a mezcal. I haven't tried that yet. Do me a favor. Try it. Let me know how it is. Chase down your slick chicken with it.

Yeah. I'm excited to see that. It'll probably look gross. Oh, yeah. It's going to be disgusting. You know, they got the shots. Easy to make. One third Soko plus two third sour mix.

There's a lot you can do with SoCo. It's tasteful. It's just the right mixture of sass and class. That's my kind of whiskey. Times change and so does what we drink. Tasteful choice. Make a more tasteful choice. You're good.

Okay. Wait. You're good. Okay. Wait. Choose SoCo. Speaking of SoCo, the final ad comes out tonight. Did you guys watch it? Yeah, I watched it. So Kyle's big head is obviously the star of it. Oh, that ad.

Yeah. Yep. The opening scene where we're all frat guys, everybody has a wig except for me. And it's just like, no, you're going to wear a backwards hat. I'm just like, that just looks exactly like everybody else has. It looks like a goofball character and I just look like me. It was embarrassing. Yeah.

I wish I could have got a wig. Preach. I said it like that, too. I don't know how I like preach. Preach. So you didn't even say it like that too I don't know how I like preach preach so you didn't even say it like because I was going he was talking for so long without without me giving like a response I was like I have to say something

and I can't feel like nerdy about it so I say I preach you can't be nerdy so you have to go with preach what you do this weekend I'll tell you what I did went up to Chinatown was going to buy Pokemon cards

showed self restraint didn't do it went to the bar that I like to go to in Chinatown had a few drinks and I was hit with regret and I was like I should have bought cards I went back in couldn't choose a set I wanted so I bought a $ really big magic art model

and i built a magic carp i went home i had a i had like six beers i put on lost i put on a youtube video and i built a magic art model that rules yeah it's awesome you'll see it go it's got a bunch of moving features that's two different body types so you can have a splashing magic card i'll take your word for it um and it looks real as fuck oh that's kind of cool yeah it looks like there's an animation in your home there was a lot yeah it looks like it looks like a cartoon came to life it's very well done i put the stickers on it's i built it all and it felt really good the um the what's it called when an action figure moves there There's a name for that. Animatronic? No, not even close.

Okay. Um, stupid, stupid, stupid. Um, it's, uh, what's it called? What? Action figure has movable parts. I just assumed they did. What? You can like bend their arms and shit? Yeah, yeah. I don't't know i thought it was just an act but anyway the fins the tail and the uh like the whiskers on it all move they all have ball joints so i can pose

it any style i want and there's a different body you can clip and i've said that to where it's its body's bent so it looks like it's like splashing it looks like the mini game where you have to hit the buzzer on Pokemon Stadium. Corp. Corp. But that's what I did this weekend. You hang out with your fucking girlfriend? Yeah, we fought.

So she's really good at tennis. I just wanted to hit it back. I was trying to put myself down. And you immediately... Oh, viciously. Yeah. Felt good. Did you win the fight? That was like the first time I felt like a lapse in brain fog.

Fighting with your girlfriend? Yeah, we didn't fight. We actually had a good time playing tennis. She was doing a little bit too hard and I kind of wanted to just have fun and keep it. What is it? Volley. Volley back and back and forth. I wanted to just do that.

See how long you could go. She would hit it with some spin and kept apologizing. And I was like, don't keep saying sorry. Either beat my ass or let's have fun and see how long we can keep it going. And so how many sorries until you broke? I actually didn't break. What? I was having a good time. You woke up broke? I actually didn't break. What?

I was having a good time. You woke up a sweat? I broke. You broke, yeah. Yeah. And did it become a thing? Oh, yeah. Did it ruin the day?

No, no, no. Very healthy relationship. We're good. It did not break. It's my first time mentioning it, which is kind probably not the the way to go about it because she listens i would imagine i make some jokes uh about i'm not used to you having a girlfriend so on planet football i made jokes about my girlfriend yeah but i didn't have a person in mind so i hope she's not mad about at me for that you you said some harsh words about this girlfriend you said some harsh words about this girlfriend. You said she was 4'6 and green.

Yeah, I said she was green. So we have to do football jokes. And it's Tennessee versus Green Bay. I'm like, that's like a battle of my girlfriend versus Kyle's. 10 versus a Green Bay. Because she's alien-like skin. She's like jaundiced and has a gallbladder disease. Jaundiced is yellow, but I took liberties.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There is actually not too many diseases that turn you green. You'd think there would be a lot. Gang green? Yeah, but I didn't want to double say green green. Yeah, yeah. You'd think there'd be a lot? Yeah, because like-

That would be terrifying if there was a lot of ways to turn green. Dude, if I told you- There should be no ways to turn the color green. You stupid. The green is the least human color of all time. No, you're so fucking wrong. If I gave you crayons and I said, draw a sick guy, you'd make his face green. Green?

It's been shoved down our throats that illness equals green. Mr. Yuck. The faces in Roller Coaster Tycoon. Green equals sick. I think green just looks dirty and like a germ. That's brown. That's a cartoonish depiction. Humans.

If I told you to make a sick person. Humans don't even slightly look green. It's the last color humans look like on the rainbow. Green equals sick. Go through the rainbow. Red. Embarrassed. Humans turn red.

Orange. Yes. Donald Trump is like girls with fake tanner orange yellow yeah um blue yes did you google sick person blue green when you're that's a car that's a that's a you were talking about my girlfriend you didn't't say Kyle's cartoon girlfriend on the internet. We're beyond the point of girlfriend. I'm just saying, Kyle, listen, quit ROYGBIVING. I swear to God. Indigo and violet are also more common. People turn purple.

No one has ever even turned remotely green. Then why does media shove green down our throats? Because it represents germs and illness. Right. So it would germs and illness. Right. So it would make you think that has to come from somewhere. No, that's just the color they chose. Everybody makes vomit green. It's not even green.

Yeah. Yeah. Boogers are green. Guess what? Not actually. This isn't my problem. This is a long-standing problem. You can't fault me for thinking that there'd be a lot of diseases that turn you green.

Yeah, I'm so glad there isn't. Of course. That's the least human color. No, it's not because you'd think. What? Oh, he looks sick. Oh, really? Is he green?

Like, oh, that's the thing. Got off a roller coaster. He's probably red, blue, or violet, or indigo. Go grab the nearest person. Let me go to the sickest place in the world probably a hospital and i you you won't go to saint jude's go grab the nearest person i will find a purple kid before you find a green kid i will oh my god i go i'm not disagreeing that green is uncommon i'm disagreeing that green has been shoved in our faces that if you're

sick, you're green. I know what you're saying, but when you're describing a real human... You're acting like I'm some sort of fool, some sort of dense fool. I was surprised that there's not a lot of illnesses that turn you green. Because that's the illustration. Oh, god damn it.

Actually, actual real argument happening. Let me check his money. Yeah, let's make sure. And this is going to be quick in and out. Yeah. If you'd like. Why is it always you? You just lingering outside?

I was walking through the hallway. Perfect person. I think I hear him. Should be good. It's turned up. Good to go. Yeah. Okay.

That person looks sick sick what do they look like oh boy sunken eyes um a little gray uh skinny okay if i how would you draw a picture of somebody sick here's crayons crayons i grabbed the gray first gray yeah oh yeah you're you got a gray hue to you when you're sick. Yeah, agreed. For sure. Kyle's calling it... Say you can only use colors from the rainbow. What would you use? Depends what colors in the rainbow.

I would probably say... Depends. I would say a yellow. Yeah. Or a red maybe if they're flushed. Yeah. Maybe even an indigo or violet or blue if they're like more bruised or a sickly person they've got a bit of a hunchback to them right they're probably a little leaning forward um we're talking colors well we're strictly talking colors yeah okay just just the colors of a sick

kyle i made a joke i'm just this feels like a rainbow to me so i'm just kind of getting it yeah look yeah no yeah which color would a human never be on this vintage sweatshirt? The green. Get the fuck out. Get the fuck out. No one is ever green. No, no, he prepped. He was prepped.

You were prepped. You were prepped. Did you prep him? No, I swear to God. No way. The green is the color of cartoons to people. Yes, yes. But, okay, here's where this stemmed from.

Kyle was calling me the dumbest man on earth that's ever lived. The dumbest person that's ever lived. Even compared to women. He's surprised more humans don't turn green. Because the media, the fucking media has shoved it down our throat that when you're sick, you're green. I'm surprised the media does that. It's in your emojis. It's in your cartoons.

It's in everything. It's everything. Puke is green. Boogers are green. Stink is green. But I'm not surprised that biologically humans aren't turning green. I was surprised. I believe the media.

That's on me. I'll say that. You made a mistake. You believe the mainstream. If somebody gets off a roller coaster, like, I'm expecting them to be green. No, I think at that point you'd be pale. You'd be very white. If I saw a green dude at an amusement park, I would freak out.

I would assume it's some type of alternative species. Have you played Tycoon? I played Tycoon. I get it. It's a pixel. It's a green pixel thing. Right, but that's just like how has that become the norm? How has that become the norm then?

That's a different issue. I'm not dumb for being shocked that green isn't a disease it is it's a little dumb it's a little dumb oh yeah yeah no it is because it again i recognize the fact that the mainstream media is pushing the green on us i've seen the puke emoji i know what color it is i've seen green is like synonymous with sick but it is like red folders for math it's gonna piss kyle off that always goes viral math is red english is blue um yeah i have fun with that because i i did have a code red is math is red yeah no i had science i had cool folders i had no folds i had fucking crumpled up papers stuffed in my backpack yeah Yeah. I had cool ass folders. Pokemon, Bionicle,

cool ass folders. I guess that's the one thing that can't be cool. Thanks for nothing, dickhead. He ruins everything. Damn. Damn, that went... That's like my closest friend

at barstool outside from Kyle I saw it I was like this is a layup yeah and he's dumb absolute layup god damn it fucking green dudes

shit alright yeah you done I'm done alright done god bless

god bless