A New Untold Story - The Research Triangle - A New Untold Story: Ep. 428

Episode Date: December 26, 2024

the guys check in from wheeling, denver, philly, and the research triangle. merry christmas. ads: Gametime - Download the Gametime app today and use code UNTOLD to easily score great deals with the new Gametime Picks! Rocket Money - Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money at https://RocketMoney.com/untold today. MobileX - Go check out https://mymobilex.com or download the MobileX app from the App Store or Google Play.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, a new untold story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcast, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad free on Amazon Music. You mean you're going to reply to what I'm going to say? No, you're just going to say, no, that's a new untold story. Hey, is that story over told? No, baby. It's a new untold story. A new untold story. A new untold story.

It's a fresh baked untold story. A new untold story, remote episode. Kyle, you know the episode number? 428 New Brunswick, Canada. Didn't do any research. Right on. It is a Christmas special. We're all really in the holiday spirit. You guys just want to push this to next year?

2025 sounds good. Just has a nice ring to it. Because Kyle, you're sick. I had the worst stomach flu like this like area has seen. Where are you even? It just you're in a blurry mess, right? That's I don't know why you look so funny. So crystal clear with this cutout. I didn't do this shit. Yeah, you did. No, I didn't know why you look so funny, so crystal clear with this cutout. I didn't do this shit.

Yeah, you did. No, I didn't. I'm in the research triangle. Where's that? Chapel Hill, Raleigh, Durham, I'm in the hypotenuse of the research triangle. Very cool. See me in the research triangle, I dare you to come through the research triangle. Very cool. And you're- Yeah. See me in the research triangle.

I dare you to come through the research triangle. Are you, you're sick at like- Dude, that's gotta be the least intimidating adjective and shape. Research, no, cause triangles at least sharp, right? Triangle ain't, twangle. Oh oh shit uh yeah that might be it the bible belt is kind of isn't isn't scary no no where are you guys i'm in wheeling

going to the festival of Lights tonight, dude. But I just left my grandma's nursing home and it smelled like every single unit was cooking cabbage at the same time, like a synchronized cabbage cook. And I asked my grandma what the smell was and she said it was her neighbor across the hall. And they have names on the doors. This guy's name is Dick Puss. Dick Puss was cooking.

It was P.D.I. It was D.I.C.K. P.U.S.E. So I guess it could also be Pussy. No, that's Puss. Or Pussy, yeah. It could be. Yeah, it's either Dick Pussy or Dick Pussy. They're just all fucking going crazy for cabbage. Dude, it is this it is.

I don't know if they're having some sort of cabbage off, but I yearn for those times. Really? Like cabbage to them is like chocolate lava cake. It really is. They fucking that's that hits it really because I was just at Bob Evans with my grandma and she ordered an apple. And that's that's probably that's like the best dessert ever. She sent her compliments back to the chef, dude. It's an apple.

She ordered an apple at Bob Evans. And she like, she still complained about it. It was too much. It's too much apple. Too much, too much. She's like, look at how many slices there are. Yeah, you're, you're in for, yeah, dude, the cabbage is

probably it's probably like MDMA to them or something like it. It just it probably just hits all of their senses so hard. Yeah. Because like they also could but the best part is they couldn't smell it brewing. And like Dick Puss was you could tell his was he he was really why did you know his name was Dick Puss? Did he have a fucking locker room tag? They have locker room tags on their doors. Oh, I guess that's necessary.

Yeah. It's like a dorm room. Yeah, it really does feel like that. But there was like some, yeah, it's just, you would crush in there, Kyle. The bingo you would love they were just doing chair yoga. Oh, yeah. Fucking dude. My I have the immune system of like a

1880s Boston bean eater. Every Christmas break I get sick as fuck. My stomach sounds like an underwater argument. Your stomach sounds like that no matter what. I know, but now it's... You're the bubbliest dude I know. Yeah, you are really bubbly. You sound like a mong. Not like Colby Calais, but like a beaker.

Yeah, like a beaker. You sound like a fucking laboratory. It sounds like largemouth bass debating the college football playoffs. It's non-stop. The sound hurts worse than the fucking feeling. You had a cheese problem last year, correct? I was about to bring up the cheese. So last year was the big cheese incident.

As everybody remembers. I'll say I'm obsessed. I have a cheat. I have a cheese problem. I almost relapsed. I was in blowing rock little resort picturesque resort town in the Appalachians. There's a you were blowing rock. Yeah, you would love it.

Yeah. Rudy you would love it. Jersey Jerry would love that too. No Rudy you would love it. Yeah. Rudy, you would love it. Jersey Jerry would love that too. Rudy, you would love blowing the rock. Dwayne. Dwayne. Yeah. Dude, I feel like his dick has got like a six pack.

Do you think so? I feel like his dick looks like an action figure of himself. Yeah. Like the Attitude Era. I feel like his dick looks like a miniature version of himself. Yeah, it's attitude era. I feel like his dick looks like a miniature version of himself. I think it's built likeen Biles. It escaped. Yeah. It entered the Olympics. Yeah. It's got a lot of potential energy.

It does. Yeah. Yeah, Rudy would like to blow the rock. But no, I wouldn't. Yeah, you would like to blow the rock. It was just like, we went there for three days to stay in an AirBnB. It was too cold to do anything. Fucking the Tweweedsy village.

Is this your family or the partner's family? Mine. But we went to it. We did go to like a like a wine and cheese place. It was cheese and cheese for me. No wine? Bro, I haven't had cheese in a while. Like straight cheese, like the gourmet cheese, like the hunks of cheese. I get it. And I was like, I got to take it easy because last year ruined my ruined

my December and January. And. I cut out, I had the knife, I cut off a little piece, dude, it hit it hits my tongue and it's unlike anything ever. My gustatory cortex goes berserk. There is no cheese. It does. I am so obsessed with cheese. hits my tongue and I go berserk. I start chewing on it. And I go even more berserk than I swallow it and I need and I need more. I

fucking love cheese. But don't ask me anything about cheese. I'm not a cheese aficionado. I'm a cheese junkie, dude. I don't ask me anything about cheese. I'm not a cheese aficionado. I'm a cheese junkie, dude I don't know what I'm eating is I am just so fucking obsessed with cheese as long as it's cheese Do you care if it's cut with like crackers or anything? That makes it there that's fun, too. But like dude cheese does not do it for me whatsoever. I've never craved really Straight cheese. I don't know. It doesn't do it for me. My I think it's better than steak. If I could go to a Michelin star restaurant and get a steak sized chunk of cheese with a fork and knife, I would eat it. And I would be way more pleasured than eating a best steak.

I don't know. I can't help it. I don't think it's cool or fun. I just fucking love cheese. I'm not. Cool or fun. I just fucking love cheese. I'm not. I'm, I'm. Dude, pilgrims couldn't handle the cheese. I know. No, no, no, no, bro. I am.

You're going exotic. No, I don't even know what I'm eating because I don't look at the labels. I don't care where it's from or what type of cheese it is. Like junkies don't give a fuck where the poppy seeds grew. They just want the heroin. That's why I'm not an aficionado, I'm a fiend. And I'm what popular culture thinks mouse is, bro. Is it your number one favorite thing?

Yes, it's my favorite food. I don't think it's, it might be beaten maps. Cheese over maps? Cheese over, I don't know though. Like, do you think you've had the best cheese you can have? Like, No, I've only had like Paris teeter cheese. Yeah, there's a whole world of cheese, I guess.

They'd let the glass shear like I knew I was going to be fucked. So I fucking eat cheese despite knowing I'm going to have gut wrenching pain. I'm literally eroded in a mousetrap. That's I have the brain of a mouse in a mousetrap. I know it's going to destroy my torso. You know, this is describing heroin. It's going to get you constipated. Yeah. Or the or does it does it affect you other like are you blowing up the toilet? Yeah, it's my black black dust. I'm sucking on Pepto Bismol. So it's having that makes your shit black. If not,

I'm fucked. It does. It does. It does. But I don't think dust is good. It's not a dust. It's like, it's a turds are coming out of your ass like, like a chimney sweep. It's a far off consistency with like a cloud of dust. You're affected by wind. Yeah, out of water. Yeah. I know you're talking about. Yeah, it's a sad follow. It would be affected by wind. Yes. If you were out of water. Yeah. I know what you're talking about. Yeah, that's a sad feeling. It's a sad feeling. It's turd, then dust.

It's like volcanic ash. Yeah. Yeah, Rudy knows. Rudy knows. I'm in the shit game. I love shitting. But like, are you at your family right now, or are you at your family's? No, I'm at my family's. Okay.

So yeah, we're good. are you at your families? No, I'm at my my families. Okay. So yeah, good. It's better than if I was at my girlfriend's place. Tell you that much. But it's good. What does that mean? Because yeah, I guess you don't want to be dusting in your your girlfriend's. Yeah, it's foul. What do you look disgusting? Is it still in there? Is it? Did you not flush it?

I was just making sure it was full. I was looking at it. I can I can see the fucking the toilet from here. So I'm just it doesn't have like a cloud around it like pig pen and peanuts. And no, no. OK, that's good. All right, guys, quick break to talk to you about game time. Game time's focused on togetherness this holiday season.

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It feels damn good. No, I got some Cleveland Cavaliers tickets. They're going to be taking on the Memphis Grizzlies. And they're good this year actually. Yeah, oh yeah. Yeah, they're real good. Yeah, so you guys at home can pull up your chosen event. You can turn on the GT pick setting at the top of screen and that's for game time picks. That's the local game time picks near you on the game time app homepage. What are you waiting for?

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What's the code? Yeah, I was actually just about to get there. It's a, you download the Game Time app, you create an account and use code untold. Yeah. You're gonna go use code untold. Yeah. You're gonna go use code untold. Remember that. Yeah. Terms apply, create an account,

redeem code, U-N-T-O-L-D, untold, $20 off. Download the game time app today. What time is it? Game time. All right. Christmas holiday season. I don't know about you guys. I've been spending hella cheddar.

A lot of money. A lot of money. And I need to- I'm gonna have a hard time recovering. Yeah, yeah. I need to really focus once an year rolls around on saving. That's why I'm gonna use Rocket Money, boys. It's the perfect time to get organized right now.

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That's over a lot of countries GDP, I'd imagine. That's more people than Celebrate Goanza. That's what people can celebrate. That's yes. Oh my god, then Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with rocket money go to rocket money comm slash untold today That's rocket money comm slash UNT OLD untold rocket money comm slash untold Wendy when do you go back? Going back Friday. What about you guys? Dude, I'm going back 26th morning.

Nice. Yeah. What have you been up to? I'm going to the Festival of Lights tonight, dude. That's world famous for people who don't know. It's, don't look it up because it would be the most underwhelming thing you could ever see.

But like there's what? 19,000 people in Wheeling? Don't look it up because it would be the most underwhelming thing you could ever see but Like there's what 19,000 people in Wheeling there will be there will be 19,000 people up there tonight driving through it Everybody goes and it's just like Chris. It's not even Christmas lights because they keep them up year-round they just turn them on at Christmas, but it's like a Brontosaurus chewing on a palm tree and every car will stop and take a picture of the same fucking picture they took last year. And yeah, it hasn't evolved with the times. I'm sure it was cool thing. It's probably cool in the 20s. The 1920s.

It was probably decent in the 20s was probably amazing. Yeah, it was never amazing. The best it's ever been was decent. That was in the 20s. Yeah, I'm looking forward to that tonight. But other than that, man, it's been pretty low key pretty boring. Yeah, I had to do a Kyle Bauer move some of my gifts didn't get in. So print off print off print off what I got them. You get you print off a Google images picture of the ticket you got them for?

Yes. Yeah, I'm in that mode right now. I'm waiting for this lamp. I got this like ornate lamp from Turkey and I was utterly guaranteed to be here today or yesterday. Yeah, yeah. I got a jacket for somebody and it was supposed to be here by December 12th. And I accidentally wrote ACE instead of AV. So that really, you'd think that the postal service be able to understand I'm at Avenue instead of ACE.

And it really, I think it's them sprinting around, computers are smoking, they don't know what, it really, really think it's them sprinting around. Computers are smoking. They don't know what, it really, really threw them for a loop. I typed ace. It's like NASA trying to recover it. Yeah, it's obviously Av. It's Av.

And they were just like, there is, we don't know where to send this. And I'm like emailing them and I'm just like, I typed ace instead of Av, please. And they were like, you're gonna get this by maybe February. So, also I didn't have printer access. That was already for a gift exchange I had.

So I drew a picture of the jacket. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah, so that's how. I can tell I'm getting older because like the whole getting gifts process, like I can tell that we're all over it Like my family over getting than giving Yeah, but even getting I'm like

You're sort of like, okay. Thanks. I guess but like you don't even know me that well anymore. Like you don't know my needs there I'm to the point where I honestly, I wouldn't be shocked if I didn't want something for the next decade. I don't think there's anything I want in the pipeline. Yeah, even like things I think I might want. I'm out of wants, man. Yeah, I lived a fine life, I'll say that much.

I think it's a wrap. That's the point that I'm at. I'm just like, you know what, it's been a really good run. Like, I can go with a smile on my face. And that's what Christmas does to me now. There's nothing left. Yeah, because I feel like way back in the day, if you were younger and you got a gift, it would like change the trajectory of your life. Like you got a second pair of pants. Yeah. But even I like wear the same

pair of jeans every day. I kind of dress like a little bit gayer Fred Rogers. Like I, I don't, I don't, there's no like pieces that I want or shoes or fucking I don, maybe, maybe one day I'll need sunglasses. That's what I'm holding out for. Maybe that Christmas I'll need sunglasses. But I'm out of, I'm out of once man. And that's, that's how blessed I am. I'm not saying that's a bad thing. Yeah, it's not a bad thing.

And I'm with you. Like clothing wise, like any, any cool piece, I feel like I've outaged now. Yeah. So I can't dress cool anymore. I just have to dress fine. Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna have to, when I get back to Chicago, I'm hanging up the, I'm hanging up some pieces in the rafters. And I'm just, some pieces in the rafters and I'm just, Yeah. Like running shoes, running shoes, sweater,

solid color, you know, t-shirts. My rafter is filled with just absolutely absurd pieces. Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah. I got some dumb shit. You're in fashion hospice. You gotta like, you have only a little bit more time with your crazy flashy pieces. Oh yeah, no, we're in the dying days. You gotta like, you have only a little bit more time with your crazy flashy pieces.

Oh yeah, no, we're in the dying days, dude, for sure. I mean, I realize that. Young youths probably look at you the same way we look at Elton John. Yeah. Like, does Rudy really need to wear that boa? Yeah, gay and spent. Yeah, really.

Yeah, well that's why 2025, I'm entering a rebuild. It's Normcore, dude. What are we on? Yeah. We're Normcore, man. It's, we're gonna, you know. I think we should just like, really like, just be shameless losers. Do like crosswords. I don't know who I've been trying to fool. Like I was trying to hide a 7,000 fucking page book on the plane.

Not 7,000 actually, but it's the newest. It's like just a giant fantasy. But like why? Who am I trying? It doesn't. Yeah, yeah, we're over that. I'm a man who's gotten everything. I'm a man who has no wants.

That's fantastic. It is, it is. You do any baseball research? Yeah, for the Christmas theme, there's two teams called the Red Stockings. I looked into the Cincinnati Red Stockings of the late 18s. And one of their one of the first Hall of Famers ever was on this team. His name is Candy Cummings. He invented the curve ball. Yeah, it translates to nerds rope. I get it. But

fucking Candy Cummings. Let me look at him. He's 510 120 pounds. So he was the biggest man of all time back then. He built like Junior asparagus. And he he fucking he invented the curve ball which is kind of awesome. He did it. He was throwing seashells at the beach. He was like, wow, that curved and then it just worked for him. That's that is like some fucking discovering gravity shit. That's like that's how people bring stuff just by tossing stuff.

Yeah, and he described the feeling and it was like me fucking biting into cheese. He said a surge of joy flooded over me that I shall never forget. I felt like shouting out that I had made a ball curve, but I said not a word and saw many a batter at that game, throw down his stick and discussed. So, I mean, I can't imagine the euphoria of inventing the curve ball and having it work.

But now Cummings bust is in Cooperstown. Andy Cummings. That's pretty good shit. I was a- What did you get into looking up during the Civil War at Hilton Head when it was a military Hilton had recent, very fresh freed slaves were in attendance. Yeah. A bunch of Union soldiers. And did you look up like the difference between Massachusetts style and New York style? So I was going to talk, I'm not a baseball guy anymore. I'm a fan of the Massachusetts game.

Oh me too. I think it's the way baseball should be played. It's just like chowder. It of the Massachusetts game. Me too. I think it's the way baseball should be played. It's just like chowder. It's the better version. Massachusetts knows how to get there. Yeah. Describe the Massachusetts style. Correct me if I'm wrong.

It's 13 on each side, no foul balls. You have to throw underhand, one out per inning, a catch also. It counts as a catch if it bounces once and it's first to a hundred. First to a hundred. Oh, there are rules. Every game was to a hundred.

No foul ball. So it could like go into the creek to the west. Yeah. Yeah. You gotta run and get it. Dude, I just keep on going further and further back in time. And it's almost like the movie Midnight in Paris. I'm just like, this was better.

This is better. I'm going to be in like early AD just be like, I was born in the wrong country. This is where I could be. Yeah. This was better back then. It was. You know what I've been fucked up on? Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's... Yeah. This was better back then. It was. You know what I've been fucked up on? Did you guys see the Josh Allen look-alike contest?

Yeah, the black dude that came in second. Yeah. No, I didn't see that. A part of my like accepting ass brain was like, it's actually kind of close if you take away the black skin. I'll send a picture, Kyle, right now so you can see it. Shout out to Reginald Swigert.

What? Oh. Swigert, his name is Reginald Swigert. Which is yeah, like there's nothing wrong about that name but when I say it, it's like, you feel like you're pinned on pins and needles. Yeah. Yeah dude, this guy.

Oh God. That's so needles. Yeah. Yeah, dude, this guy. Oh God. That's so funny. Yeah. Second place. Can't you kind of see it? Yeah, I can. Yeah, he's not bad. It's pretty close.

First place deserving. Second place deserving. Oh wait, the guy on top is the winner? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I thought that was Josh Allen. Yeah, that's a great winner. Oh, there we go. There we go.

I got into Kwanzaa too. How do you get into Kwanzaa? I was just curious. No, I feel like no one actually knows what Kwanzaa is. It starts on the 26th. You invented it in the 60s, right? Yeah, I didn't know that. It was super recent.

One guy was like, yo, Africa needs this. I think like my parents are the same age as no no no my parents are younger than quant older than Kwanzaa. 1966. Then no I don't know I don't know. Yeah. Yeah what you I have yeah what it I mean we always just talk about that's like the African Christmas but we the like OG just like fills up a cup and passes the Dutch and they drink from it. Fuck yeah. Uh huh. Dude, it's just like what it's just like what a bunch of cool shit. It's like what they did to the Wizard of Oz. They made it the Wiz. It was like what Jackson was in it. He was they just made a cooler Wizard of Oz where they just like went down the yellow

brick road like with way more rhythm. Yeah. Is that what the Wiz is? Yeah. Is that what the whiz is? Yeah. Yeah. They were kind of clunky in the OG one. They weren't really OG. They weren't floating or sliding down the brick road. No, dude, they were. But you start at seven nights. So it starts on the 26th and goes to the first. And the elder in the family starts everyone by saying Abari Ghani, which apparently translates

to like what's the news? Like what's good? That's pretty cool. What's good, yeah. What's good, yeah. And then everyone. It's gotta be under a million that celebrate it, right? I think it kinda had its heyday in the 80s and 90s.

Like spice food. Oh, I was under the impression it was massive. Oh, really? I have no idea. We're too white. I've never met anybody that celebrates Kwanzaa, but I don't know if I'm a good. I've never met anyone that would celebrate that I would even would consider was 500,000 to 2 million.

Oh, that's tiny. Yeah. I, why did I think it was huge? Oh yeah. They have like early days, dude, when you think about it, like it tiny. Yeah. I why did I think it was huge? Oh, yeah. They have like two early days, dude. When you think about it, like it's early days. Yeah, we're still like you could still be an early adopter of Kwanzaa. This is it's in like Bitcoin. Like I might I might pop on.

Yeah, we should buy principles. Seven seven nights is like too many nights for anything. Yeah, I got the principles here. So each night they light a candle and they do, they talk about the principles and the old guy says like, what's the principle and they have to all repeat it. You gotta do like a little bit of homework. This is interesting. the I'm not kidding. You have a rhombie. It's a rhombie with two E's. And then you say it seven times and it just says, let's pull together, let's link. Some celebrities who celebrate Kwanzaa are Oprah, Maya Angelou, Chuck D and Angelina Jolie.

Of course she does. Oh. Yeah, she would do that shit. She definitely went over there to collect those children. Yeah, right. I'm gonna have this too. God damn. Did you see, Mr. Smith gave gonna have this too. God damn. Did you see Mr. Smith

gave her the business though on that private jet? And Mr. and Mr. Smith? In the real life version? What's the real life version? Just the family, the Bradley done fucked her up and the kids. Did you see the description? I saw the kids. The kids all drop Bradley's last name. They drop pit, they drop pit. I actually read it. He there was heinous. What he did.

Yeah, he was like fucking them up and choking them out. Brad Pitt on a plane. Yeah, I'll never like him again. Yeah, you know, everyone has one bad are they just coming clean I just I just read it but I think it's pretty recent I'm surprised I didn't get out sooner unless rule one was don't talk about it that made in one yeah that's a good point yeah damn dude I didn't know pit don't talk about it. That may have been rule one, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

That's a good point. Yeah, damn dude, I didn't know Pitt was like that. Pitt sucks, I'm out on Pitt. We have to be. I think people are, Annorton is bad, all those Leo's. That sucks. Yeah.

Leo's just- Do you mean my family's been watching mad spy movies? Really? Yeah, I don't know why,'s just the flavor like a lot of spy movies Or yeah, like I always get given the responsibility like we finished dinner and it's like all right Rudy pick a movie And I really got a like thread and needle of something that's gonna everyone's gonna enjoy and I've landed on the spy genre because it's just like a nice thriller Kind of a little bit of mystique usually a love angle, it's kind of got it all.

But we watched the spy game with Brad Pitt and that shit is ass. Is it ass? It's ass. Robert Redford, Brad Pitt, it's big ass. I got to choose the movie last night and I did Muppet Christmas Carol. And I was like,

I was like trying to like be, you know, like when like an actor's in a movie, was like, I was like trying to like be, you know, like when like an actor's in a movie, be like, oh, that's blank. And like Charles Dickens came on, I'm like, oh, that's Gonzo. And I was doing that, but it's pretty, it holds up pretty well. It's a good movie.

Were people like thrilled that you picked that? My dad's a Muppets guy. And my dad laughed real hard. My dad laughed real hard in Honeydew coming in. Bouncing Honeydew. Bouncing Honeydew popped into Ebenezer's little, you know, what was, I don't even know what Ebenezer's job was. Bahambug. Stop. I read though that Charles Dickens, the mystery is that there was never anybody named Scrooge, but they found like a Scrooge, S-K-R-O-G-G-E, Ebenezer Scrooge, and Dickens misread his headstone.

I guess he was a meal man, I don't know what that means, but he misread it mean man, and he just like wrote the story from that. Wow. Yeah. What is a meal man? Don't know what a meal man is though. Like any I think so could be wrong. Oh Kyle back to baseball. Mass the Massachusetts game. Do you know they started women in it as well.

But they only separated them by bronze bronze versus brunettes. That's the only way you could play in the rules. Really? And that's how the whole blonde versus brunette rivalry started. Like, you know, like it's all, they've always kind of just been like a blonde character brunette that's how it all started with Massachusetts. Baseball. Yeah.

And this is like the 1850s, 60s. That's the very beginning of baseball. It says a meal man is someone who deals in meals. Okay, cool. So chef, I guess. Or all of us like doesn't say what end of it. Dude, you guys find anything cringing your childhood bedrooms? Dude, I'm in an elite 2010s basement right now. Yeah, what is the deal? You're in- This basement hasn't been touched since like 2015, 2016.

It's like full of fat heads, Xbox 360 games, a Peloton no one uses, like Sopranos on DVD. It's like time traveling. That's good. Yeah. So we got Bangles players. Yeah, Zach Parchman Palmer and Ocho Sengai. Yeah, I got Palmer to Ocho.

They were my second love after the Eagles. I was a big Palmer guy. Why, Redhead? The Redhead thing, yeah. Definitely connected with that. That's fair. Yeah, Ocho. And then Ocho, he's just a dog. Did you see that? Have you ever seen the clip of him when he tried to hit Ray Lewis? Oh, sick. He got

pulverized and really talking about it. Yeah. He was like, I was trying to. I tried to catch him off guard and I lost. I was trying to break your head off and then Ray's like, listen, what's funny? Listen, what's real funny? I didn't feel you. That's a good shit. There's no reason to watch their interview now. You got it all. You got it all.

I got it. You ever hear the interview of Ocho and I think it's Tio talking about all the girls they fucked in the Bahamas? No. They just go, they go like band for band, but it's like girl for girl, it's crazy. Do they say names or just like, all right, I had one. He's like, I didn't. He's like, I had two.

They talk about like a 24 hour period that they spent together and like how many girls they each fucked in that period it's crazy yeah that that's like that's the shit that made me suicidal as a 19 year old what do you mean that's how dudes in college would talk yeah right and it was always easy it was always like three hoes in a weekend and it was so easy. I was like, at least tell me you like kind of had to like really put in the work, Matt. I got shot down, right?

It was always easy. Dude, like for me, for that happened to me, like for one, oh, like a one time, I would need the perfect conditions. Everything would need to be right. It would be like keeping like an axolotl alive, dude. Like you have to keep the water tent perfect. Their skin can rip and die.

They could dry up. Like it's, it's, it's an impossible feat and everything needs to work out. And then I'm still at like a maybe. Yeah. It's still a maybe. You're like, you're- It's so easy and at the end I chicken out.

You're an underdog at home. Oh my god, yeah. Oh, man. It was like, I didn't try. I was like, what? You didn't try? And I believed it. Even like the Travis Hunter thing, like the Snapchat's

being leaked, it said that was E, capital E, Z, with like a chef's kiss emoji. They always fun and how easy it was. Just tell me, you tell me you tried a little bit. That's all I needed to hear. Because then I could relate. I was so foreign to me of like these guys go like four in a weekend or in a weekend I didn't try I didn't even try I didn't try I was like you didn't try what yeah and then they're like and I needed I just need a break no I always got that I always got that Kyle when when dudes would talk about turning

down pussy and I was like what do you mean you turn down pussy what are you talking about yeah like some of I hung out with some real fuckers dude and me too yeah and it just every weekend time and time again confidence destroyed Rudy tell me it wasn't like no I mean I'm not bad but like no you put in an immense amount of work yes those guys try and they're the effort they put in is insane. That's all I need to do. Just admit that you put in a ton of effort.

Like you don't win them all. And then we'll all be happy here. No, it's like Benedict Cumberbatch trying to solve the Enigma machine. Like you're in a back room reading books, looking at scrolls, solving it in an abacus. Those dudes would almost fuck accidentally with the way they told it.

They'd be like, yeah, I didn't think it was gonna happen. I ended up going to this dive and like, she was just like there, she said, you want it? It was so easy. It just always happened. Yeah, it was always three of them. They had to pick one and that was the hardest part. Yeah, the title to the video I was referring to

was Chad Johnson Reveals Truth Behind His and Terrell Owen's 17 Woman 12 Hour Orgy. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Rhyme number. 17 Women 12 Hours. I feel like you need like methamphetamines to make that fun. Dude, that would, I know for a fact that would take me more than 32 years. Yeah. We're talking like, yeah.

I need to bank on reincarnation for that to happen. I don't know about you guys, but even to this day, the Yeah. And I can't wait. Dude, I only flirt Niantic pentameter. Shakespearean sonnets. Oh, man. Oh, I didn't even fucking try. I thought I was trying to have a yes. Didn't even try. And it happened even. And dude, like I like I'm reviewing these people as like gods.

Yeah. And so I would go out and not try. All right. All I have to do is not try. Yeah. Yeah. You ever been out with a dude that girls like approach him? Yeah, that was crazy. What? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you ever been out with a dude that girls like approach him? Yeah, that was crazy. What? Yeah. Yeah.

I was out with a buddy and I saw a girl like double take and I was like, what? Maybe it was easy. It might have been man. But we're good at other stuff. Yeah. Yeah, like puns. Yeah, dude. That's like a pretty good one for one trade.

Crossword puzzles. Yeah. Yeah, I guess. Like that shit does like come easy to us. So I mean, yeah. Yeah, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Luke, did you get a lineup? You look kind of crispy.

I had a morning today. Oh my god dude. Look at that. Holy shit that's shiny. Look at that. Look at that. You got you crispy. Yeah I went I woke up I went to the gym it was full of hot Russian moms I went to the barbershop full of of hot Russian moms. I went to the barber shop full of Mexicans or some type of shit. Yeah. Moke shop full of a middle Easter man. And now I'm gonna go get sushi with the Japanese.

So I'm having a cultured day. Wow. Well, totally, yeah. Yeah, but- Exotic person I've seen so far was like a guy that was just burnt. That would fire me up, though. He's like still white, still from West Virginia, but he was very burnt.

Mm hmm. Oh, yeah, that makes me think. Rudy, your shit looks real. Yeah, it does. Again. Yeah, it's getting there, dude. I think we're entering this. You can't really see right now, but I think rendering the shock loss Segment or like all the hairs they move fall out and then it's gonna be dicey, but then we're gonna be chilling Hmm, and I want to keep asking me if I installed the widow's peak. I already had a widow's pink They just made it a little fatter. It does it looks a little bit more pronounced. Yeah, do you?

Sharper yeah, it looks like Naruto, bro Avatar fuck yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry Yeah, dude, Luke. It's okay, but you gave it on that room. We don't expect you to know they am an anime references Yeah, no, that's it. That's a jocks room, dude. Yeah, this room is extremely homophobic. Yeah, mine. Mine is not really mine anymore. I still got my I got my eagle still got my big wooden eagle but that's about it. That's a yeah. I want you to do it. Yeah, what's your other term? I got some like, my mom's got my mom's a graphic designer. So she's we got a lot of cool art, but this is the guest room

and this guest bed right here is the size of like, a shoe box. Oh yeah. It's like a granite slab. It's the worst mattress on fucking earth. Whoever, no one ever takes this room because of that. Yeah, that's just, that's coming home now. Kyle, you got a crucifix at every door?

Well, yeah, there's definitely some Jesus shit. Yeah, I can't look away. He's everywhere I turn, he's hanging up. He's looking the ass. This is a good one. Me and my brother, with a fish. Oh, your brother's like 20 years older than you. Yeah, he's my first 16 year older.

Oh, you're the young one? Yeah, but he had, this is a famous hat that he gave to me for Christmas years ago because I always thought it was so funny. My mom hated it. It's a U-Haul hat, but he wrote underneath it in Sharpie, U-Haul ass. Oh, hell yeah.

And he was like, he ran with that bit for years. You still have the hat? Yeah, the hat's in a glass case. I was trying to, I've had this as something that's been haunting me. Kyle, I got my pogs, dude. Oh, pogs, slammers. I got my pogs, but I remember,

I remember Burger King had a Pokemon promotion. Oh my God, wait a minute, it's out. This, my pogs are always clogged. All right, I got my pogs. So that's what I, that's my evening. What are those? I don't know what those are. Oh, the big pog guy. Big fad.

I had a lot of, I had like Christian pogs though. So like the, he is risen, slammer. Yeah, that's not, that's not moving the needle. They were, they were like, they're just flat circles that were a fad in the 90s Yeah, what did you do with them? You slammed them and like if they landed face up You got to keep it and if they landed face down they went to your opponent Man, this is I want to get this tattooed on me because I think it's the sickest thing ever

This says bad news pure poison Yeah, yeah put that right below your belly button. Yeah. Pure poison. Oh, these are sick. So I didn't know. Something must have happened. I got something stuck in these like 20 years ago and I could never access my pogs, but somebody must have wedged it out dude I have the most like 2010s artifact it's a what is it a 50th birthday party invitation that we printed out and it's just like my dad and his best friend as the other guys. It's just so 2010. It's crazy. That's really funny.

Yeah, where are all your heirlooms at Kyle? I'm not in like my childhood home. That's another family lives there now. Where's all your stuff? I have no idea. Yeah, dude, you not have stuff anymore? I had hundreds of trophies. Hundreds, not not 10s or dozens. Hundreds. Dude, I don't know. I had a better plug collection. All of these I think were from a lot like cereal boxes. Oh, yeah, there's the cross. Jesus, Jesus. It was blurred out. When you guys go home, do you have like a like you're are you out of your element?

Like, I feel like I'm a guest. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Like, everyone's got their spot in the living room at the kitchen table. Like, you don't bring up certain. I am just a nuisance. Yeah. Yeah, I am just a nuisance. Yeah. Yeah, I'm starting to feel it.

When I was home for Thanksgiving, I clogged my toilet and it was like pure panic. Oh yeah. Oh. As if I was at a guest house and I had to pull off like a whole feat to get it unclogged without anyone knowing. I had to like search around the whole house for the plunger.

Took me 24 hours to resolve the issue. My turds have gotten smaller with old age. My high school turds were like, I probably clogged one of every five. They were dominant. Yeah, mine were. I agree, mine used to be more loggy. Yeah, like there's still, like this house,

like there's still remnants of my logs cause I clogged this back toilet and it leaked enough to the bottom floor. So there's ceiling marks you could trace through three floors down to like my clogged did some serious structural damage. Your old clogs. My old logs, dude.

Did I tell you guys what I did over Thanksgiving? No. To upset the ecosystem in my home? What you do? No. I had my 10-year high school reunion. Okay. And I got blacked out. Wait, wait, wait. Yes.

Well, I saw the t- you were in one of them 10 years later. Oh yeah, dude. That's like one of my favorite genres of- I got guns in my hand. And then you have to pretend like you don't know they're filming you for that reason. Yeah. Smile. And also that it docks my last name. Yes. Right. I woke up, it had like 100 views and I was like, I don't care.

I went back to bed. I woke up. It had 500000 views. So now it's just it's whatever. Crazy. But but yeah, what were you saying? I Got back to my house and I ordered McDonald's to my house and I ordered like $80 worth of McDonald's not sure why I think maybe other people were coming back Didn't end up coming back just me. I Pass out before it gets here

Didn't end up coming back. Just me I pass out before it gets here The uber driver rings the doorbell alarm alarm goes off wakes up the entire house. Oh An alarm. Yeah, we have like a security system. Oh my god, and I Got a long lecture in the morning about By eating and drinking habits. Yeah, you're you are you have the that would piss you could be a guy that doesn't go home. That would piss me. Dude, if I was your dad, even though you're 26, I would I would have like spanked you. I would have held you down and like took a belt and just went crazy on your ass.

The hell out of your ass. I think he almost hit me. I think it was getting to that point. He may or may not have flashed a piece. I believe that. Just to let me know who's boss. But like now I'm home and like I'm walking on thin ice. You know what I mean?

It's like, I'm, I just gotta let them do their thing and I do my thing kind of thing. Yeah, it's like when you walk through nature, it's just like, okay, I gotta leave everything as it was. Like I'm a guest here. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, other than my log stains,

there's no trace of my youth anymore. Nothing. No, my room is as it was. It's like a museum. I got nothing. Or, you know, clay figurines. So I do have the, like, I think I have the camcorder where I did all my claymations. But I don't have any way to, I should probably bring that back just so we can walk.

Yeah, you should. Dude, I have a piece of, I think I have a clay thing I made in art class that is, God, dead serious, the ugliest piece of art that's ever been made. What is it? I almost got to go find it. Let me go find it. Dude, I like looking through shit. Yeah.

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Lost, I found this, I had this old Star Wars sketchbook and you had to draw in the parts of Star Wars scenes and I made everything a dick when I was younger. Jogger. Yeah. This sculpture, I mean, this is, I'm like so ashamed of this, like,

like look at this. Oh That sucks, dude. Is it one of the worst? I don't know. It's not anything bring that back It's an assault on what like anything you might think it looks like it's a insult to that That's that's that's ceramic or clay. It's clay. Oh Yeah Is that ceramic or clay? It's clay. Oh yeah. I think. Like I don't know what the fuck that is. That's the absence of an idea.

What is that? Yeah, that's a person who has zero artistic thought. Zero. Zero. Zero. Yeah. No thought. And my mom still displays it and I'm like,

you just need, this thing needs to be like, gotta put that away. Yeah, you oversold that. That's somebody who's never perceived the universe trying to create. Yeah, yeah. Somebody with a really small worldview. That's someone that would make vanish queue.

Yeah, that's a vanish queue precursor. This makes so much sense. If you showed this to the devil, he would be like, he would be insulted by it. Yeah, that's embarrassing, dude. Trying to find a one-race. Is it all about anti-Semitic? I think it might be. Oh, it's anti-Semitic.

It's insulting to everything. It's too ugly to be like whimsical, but it's also not ugly enough to be funny. It's the craftsmanship is beyond subpar pure shit. Rushed garbage throw it away. Yeah, no, I think it was rushed. And then I remember when I made it, I was taking too long. You were taking too long on that. Yeah. So it was a rush.

Bad idea that took too long. Yeah, I hate it. I genuinely hate it. I like you less for making it. I don't blame you. Imagine being the creator, dude. I got to deal with that. Like, like, even when I'm like shopping for my family, like I'll remember that this exists. Yeah. That's brutal. Yuck. Oh man. Uh, anything else boys? Any housekeeping?

Uh, if you get, if you get anus gear for Christmas, tweet it out us. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Shout out to the big shout out to the, the BRG that went to the Brown Pussy house. Oh my God. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. He said it was haunted. I called it. Yeah. We got it. We got it. We should do a ghost. We should see if we could go there and do like a ghost adventure style thing. I'm down. Yeah, I would.

We need something in our lives. I know, I need to want something, man. That's my New Year's resolution to want one thing. I wanna crave, I guess cheese, but. Yeah, yeah, fuck, fuck you guys. I have my, I know what I want. I know exactly what I want. Really?

Yeah, I guess that's perfect. That's exactly what I'm talking. I want, I'm trying to find my cheese, man. Yeah. Dude, cheese makes me special needs. It's like a fucking, we'll see, we'll see. We'll see what I do tomorrow. How does it make you special needs, in what way?

Like I said, like I don't care about the repercussions. The repercussions of cheese. We'll see tomorrow. We'll see you tomorrow. All right guys, Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas to you guys and everyone listening. Wow. I said wow like that was like super profound.

You just thought of more than four people. Alright, God bless.