A New Untold Story - The Tiny Diny - A New Untold Story: Ep. 335

Episode Date: March 16, 2023

41 Tiny Diny's, Sugarcane & Disabled, KB is a cat dad, and oh, The Baby Boy is back?!?! Ads: Betterhelp: This episode is sponsored by Betterhelp. Go to https://betterhelp.com/new for 10% off your first month HelloFresh: This episode is also sponsored by HelloFresh. Go to https://hellofresh.com/ANUS60 and use code ANUS60 for 60% off plus free shipping!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, A New Untold Story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad-free on Amazon Music. untold story. A new untold story. It's a fresh, big untold story. A new untold story. we good did that register sir welcome back to new untold story episode 335 is that two weeks in a row I got it right it is I'm never going to

miss again if you're hearing that person not talk yep that's right he's back my no I'm talking about Owen If you're hearing that person not talk, yep, that's right, he's back. No, I'm talking about Owen. Nothing's changed since you've left. Studio's nice. Yeah, studio's nice.

What are you doing, Kyle? I can't hear you. I'm right next to you. It's just a thing. I would like to hear. You're not missing anything. What's up? Hold on.

Let's start from scratch. I don't think we're too off the rails to where we can get back on. I can sense this progressing longer because I don't have an immediate fix for this. Do you want me to just go into the news while you fix it? No. Um...

Or wait, just use those. Oh, yeah. KB, use those. Yeah, wait. Why don't you just do this? KB, use those. I'll take a stretch now. Yeah, wait. Why don't we just do this? Warmed them up for you. We're not cutting into this.

No. We got to get to an hour somehow, dude. Yep. Yo. Can you talk checked oh perfect perfect yeah oh and we're doing we're doing like hour plus episodes now you remember the 12 minute days you were there for the 12 minute days we found out that you talking isn't hard um it is well we realize it doesn't have to be good. Right. I'm looking through my Twitter drafts.

Oh, you thought your girl was on her period? Nah, I just didn't trim my fingernails. Yeah, yeah. That's actually a real fear. Magic Johnson should be named AIDS cock. I should have fired that one off. Yeah, you should have. Way to go, Nicky. What are your Twitter drafts, Kyle?

None. I have not composed a tweet. Yeah, I need to get... I don't know, man. I need to start making jokes on the internet again. Why? It was fun. When Sass had that lobster sent to him from big cat i wanted to borrow it just so i could like put it in the toilet and then just tweet up take a picture of that like full lobster in the toilet and just tweet like again question

mark i thought i'd be fire like spilling something something. Spilling a lobster. Of course. Of course would be funnier. Of fucking course. A lobster in the toilet. Episode 334. Got the headphones. Actually, these headphones aren't going, but that's really okay. 335.

335? I was wrong. Shit. 335, that's area code for Pensacola. Actually, I don't know. 335, no area code. It's just a guitar, a classic guitar, the Gibson ES. 335 means that we are resorting, we're reverting back to the beginning and we're on 207.

If we're doing that, which is Maine, the state of Maine, the entire state of Maine, the entire state of Maine has the same area code. Yes. Pretty cool. No, it just means that they are so insignificant. They have no discernible regions or cultural. I thought it was a area, a population thing. It might be. Yeah.

I before you get into that, I watched a YouTube video of the worst country of all time. Any guesses? Central African Republic. Congo. The Congo. If you were born in the Congo from the beginning of time to about maybe 20 years ago, you probably had a 90% chance of being a slave. Really? Yeah. So there's two Congo countries.

The bad one. The Republic and the Democratic Republic. The Democratic Republic is bad. They're both bad. I don't think I'd want to ever be. Yeah. So the Democratic Republic was bad. Before even it was colonized just the people of

congo enslaved the other people of congo yeah that the it's the drc it's called and it's growing rapidly like the capital kinshasa is on pace to be one of the biggest cities or the biggest city in the world i know when cities are relevant when you that's one of the movable places you can go to in the board game pandemic oh is that on there and sasha's on there manila's on there um yeah a lot that's how i know but consacha is like a real central it gets infected real easily yeah it's it's terrible yeah i think they're the most famous guys like a rapper he lives in this gigantic coastal river coastal mansion and then like there's slaves on boats in the river like in his backyard are they his no but wait they still have slavery yeah the class well not slaves the class divide like the the poorest people in his backyard doing river work yeah but i that's just thought it was interesting i thought you'd appreciate that yeah

i'm gonna watch it you said the narrator was bad yeah narrator it's hard to get past uh but he also did another one it's just like you do not want to live in this country and i clicked it and he's like iraq i'm like yeah no shit i don't and they said it had like 10 million views. They're like very informative. I was about to move to Iraq. Iraq. Yeah. Iraq. All right. Housekeeping.

Are we starting with housekeeping? Well, I think that's housekeeping. Yeah. That's like where you get out of the way first before the actual board meeting begins. We can do that. Mook, Owen's back. You worried for your career? No, I'm just going to keep being red and see if that works yeah yeah yeah yeah no we're a team it's my dog

for sure whatever you say man oh fuck okay so housekeeping uh josh potter got his knife through security uh yeah he checked his luggage i think he put probably put it in his checked luggage you can kb got a 500 double-sided battle axe in alaska and brought it back true it's not that big of a deal uh kb for you today is a long covid awareness day right it's trending pretty heavy have you seen it no i haven't it's like uh when people complain about adhd it's very go through the timeline. It's nuts. People are like, I can't shower anymore because of long COVID.

OK, I was on board with that when I had it. Yeah, it's it's kind of debilitating. But no, it's no, you can't shower. You can do everything. Did you hear your dad's Asian accent that he tweeted? Did he voice tweet it? Yeah. No.

Oh, yeah. He did a voice like with his own voice. He did a prank call and he called a. Oh, he's doing prank calls? He called DeFelice pizza. And you could understand how he would say DeFelice. I missed that. Yeah. Laid it on thick.

And what's today's date? See, I just made that up, but that's not true. I'm pretty sure that could be the free space of the 2023 bingo card. Yeah. Oh, that wasn't on my 2020. What was? What is today's

date? The 15th. I miss my mom's birthday was what is today's date the 15th i mean yeah i miss my mom's birthday which is today and your family group that your family group chat was waiting till tomorrow wasn't it the other members of the family whenever this happens whenever it's someone's birthday they they purposely don't mention it in the group chat i love that you said whenever something like this happens, it's forgetting your mom's birthday. Alright. Did you text her? We're good. Yeah. What did you say? I said, how much on Venmo? Quick and easy. That's good.

Any other house? What's our housekeeping? Black mold update. Yeah, I failed the mold test. I failed the, uh, I bought a Petri dish, filled it with this fluid, um, let it sit out and it has like the mold around the corners. So I just have a window cracked and I like clean the floor. Oh, you'll be good. Yeah.

Yeah, for sure. Um, yeah, I, I'm in a weird spot because my rent is so cheap i don't want it to to change by me complaining like yeah i'll come fix the mold but also you're paying four thousand dollars a month yeah i think owen pays more than you has three roommates and has a plethora of mice yeah yeah yeah i i could yeah i have a decent sized apartment it's just you can't live there well no you can live there comfortably, but you'll die quick. Yes. The price you pay to live in New York.

Yeah. My water reeks. I have the stink. Dude, I will be the cleanest I've ever been and smell like pure shit. The cleaner I am, the worse I smell. That is insane. The water that emits from your shower is super cloudy and stinky. They've had the time it came out like brown.

Yeah. Like, yes, dude. It dosed me in brown. Yeah. I look like Augustus Gloop. And we'll get to that soon. What? Yeah, for real

all right kind of want to go to it right now but i guess we'll wait um i'll get into the news uh yeah we're still doing that owen um unless you want to do an ad first you can can do an ad. You'll be surprised to see the show. Yeah. It's so easy to do this. The show is brought to you by BetterHelp. Yeah. Okay.

What? First off, everyone needs therapy. Uh-huh. And some a lot more than others. A large percentage actually probably needs it medically. And the hardest part for these people who need it is because they're often introverts. They're often very socially anxious. They often have trouble communicating. That's why they need therapy in the first place. The hardest part is going in person and no matter how professional and pleasant the therapist is, spilling your heart out to someone

right in front of you is very difficult. It's not going to be as efficient when you do it face to face. Why not try mobile therapy? I'm talking about better help. I think that's one of the best inventions of the 21st century. Yeah, it's such a no brainer. Getting to know yourself can be a lifelong process, especially because we're always growing and changing. That's obvious.

But therapy is all about deepening your self-awareness and understanding because sometimes we don't do what we want or why we react the way we do until the talk, until the talk through. We talk through things. Until we talk through things. So with BetterHelp, it is an app on your phone. You can get a full 100% adequate therapy session with someone who is licensed. Yeah. Who can take you on that journey of self-discovery from wherever you are. You could be in the comfort of your own room, bedroom, room. it room if you're thinking of starting therapy give better help a try it's entirely online designed to be convenient flexible and suited to your schedule all you have to do it's not it's very easy you just have to fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist you can switch therapists at any time for no charge give them the promo code

visit betterhelp.com slash new n-e-w. Yeah. Today, 10% off the first month. That's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P.com. Did you ever have any of you guys? Did any of you guys have a cool room as a kid? Like a room you were proud to show your friends? I never had a cool room. You had a cool room?

Yeah. I had a pretty tight video game room. It had one of those. No, it was different. It was my brother's old room when he moved out. And I put an inflatable chair in there. Yeah, those were all the rage. They had real sharp seams, though.

Yeah. And you'd stick to it really, really like in the summer. Yeah. Get peeled off it. But that was my cool room. We played motocross video games in their freak style. Yeah. Yeah.

Animal style. No. Like that's one of the games. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It was made by ea sports big i remember the one i played the most was mx versus atv unleashed or something yeah yeah yeah that was a cool one yeah i was always doing can cans can cans yeah i love the can can anyways heal clickers yeah i don't know that yeah what i just i never i never had a cool room ever never no for me either yeah no oh well uh a new zealand school abruptly closes its doors after being told they cannot practice conversion therapy anymore. They closed the school because you cannot. They couldn't practice conversion therapy anymore.

But the school didn't tell the teachers. Educators found out when they arrived to the building's locked doors. In a twist of fate, it was the teachers who were shocked. Instead of the gay students. instead of the gay students. In Star Wars news, Disney has stepped in and has made new packaging for Boba Fett's ship.

His ship in canon is called Slave One. That's the ship that the bounty hunter Boba Fett flies. Now it's just labeled as Fett's Starship. There should be no room for race jokes in this universe,

said Lucasfilm president Kathleen Kennedy. This is a pretty good step for Star Wars. The billion dollar franchise built on a story about a boy not knowing his father. John Morant. No timetable for return as he enters counseling. John's been accused of acting hard, being a wannabe rapper, and as in an Instagram story with a gun, he captioned, don't leave the house without the stick.

Caught eyes of the media, entered counseling. Yeah. Hard but soft on the inside. Rapper stick. This dude, a baller or a fucking Tootsie Pop. You boys wait. The CMT award nominees have been revealed. First time nominees

Kane Brown and Jelly Roll have three a piece. Kane Brown and Jelly Roll? The only brown roll I care about is made by the Tootsie Company and inside a hard candy with a stick handle. Hold on.

The NCAA tournament is here. And wow, do we have some matchups. Six seed Kentucky is on upset watch against a tough Providence team. While Kentucky has the skill set, Providence has 15 starter caliber players. If you've seen any human from Kentucky, you'll know their weakness is deep fryers. Another popular upset pick is Kennesaw State.

The owls over the Xavier Musketeers. But I don't like it. You can't even trust an owl to count the licks to the center of a Tootsie Pop, let alone win a basketball game. I'll say it's three, then chomp it. Another anticipated matchup, for me at least, is the West Virginia

Mountaineers versus the Maryland Terrapins. Every year, people are asking, what in the ever-living fuck is a Terrapin? Well year people are asking what in the ever living fuck is a Terrapin? Well, it's a tortoise, but I understand the confusion because they wear red. The only thing that can be red with a hard outer shell

is a cherry Tootsie Pop. I have one more about how I have one more about getting shoulder rubs. What is a bar? Drake was famously getting shoulder rubs at Tootsies. Not the not in Philly. Not in Philly.

That's no. So that's all I have. What do you got about you, Kyle? What's going on?. So, yeah, that's all I have. What do you got? What about you, Kyle? What's going on? Do you want to start with Maine or something else? When I first got hired here, my first big blog was going to be making a KB No Swag fan page on Facebook. And I've had it.

It's existed forever. I think it was KB No Swag Fans Only on Facebook. forever at KB. I think it was KB no swag fans only on Facebook. I just was just on Facebook the other day and saw that it had 70 new views. So I don't know what happened. How many followers? I think

three. Is it how many are there? Can you see that? I'll check. I just I guess is that considered housekeeping? Did you ever post any content on it? Never. Well, KB No Swag Fans Only, it has, over the last 28 days, one new like.

18 followers. 18 followers. Okay. Has it posted? May 30th, 2020. Favorite KB moment? Question mark. Two comments.

Those comments gotta be hodgepodge. They gotta be all over the place. He gave me a shot at a party once. Real one. Who said that? Someone said that? Yeah, Alex VRs. Alex Viers.

Swaggy Viers. Swaggy Viers. Swaggy Viers. I gave him a few shots. I gave him a whole handle of Citroen Svetka. And then Michael Sacco said, January 10th, 1920 was my favorite of all time. I don't know what that means. He's trolling.

Because I wasn't. Damn, we have trolls in the fan page? All right. Maine? Yeah, so Maine is a 33535 let's see what i have 335 no to maine is the 207 because we we've yeah we go back to our six main is the 207 from old speck mountain to bar harbor and from the notred notre dame mountains to the piscataqua river it's the entire state of maine and at the top the canadian border are the notre dame mountains and on google or apple maps it's it's in french because it's quebec m-o-n-t-e-s and then notre dame

i want to know how to pronounce it if I had to say it Montau? yeah this is I tried to figure it out it's the French word for mountains it's M-O-N-T-E-S and

well this is what it is which so this is the first it'll start with English mounts yeah that makes sense mounts this is the first it'll start with english mounts yeah that makes sense mounts this is the this is the this is the french word for mountains i kept clicking it i was losing my mind because i wanted to say it's like very perfect on this podcast. And I kept clicking it. Is it just mmm?

She's kidnapped. The translator is kidnapped. Yeah. I don't think that can't be. I think it has to be at least like mom. She's bound and gagged. It's got to be at least mom. She's bound and gagged. I think that I found the, like that isn't real that's

not how that cannot be how you pronounce mountains or mounts in french unless she and she even sounds like she's struggling i think whoever this i don't know how many translators and like voices that google hires but this one was kidnapped unreal i was gonna give i was gonna give main the dopest intro possible dude it sounds like they accidentally hired the sign language coordinator for that dude you hire the sign language translator to do an audiobook just sounds like you're fucking scarfing down cookies that that that woman just had an oreo yeah yeah a cigarette that's how they fucking eat they're very skinny

yeah skinniest but their their diet isn't good i i don't like maine and well let's start with the good. The beaches, the national parks, the shoreline. The shape of it is the exact profile of Phil and Lil's lesbian mom from Rugrats. Yeah, it is. Betty DeVille. Yeah, same haircut. Yeah, it does. Looks just like Betty DeVille.

We'll start with people. Maine has one. Am I right? I can picture picture i remember her head yeah she looked just like maine i would like to see it now but um yeah maine has 1.37 million people which isn't a lot but isn't it's that's a that's a decent amount yeah it wouldn't even be the top 40 most populous cities in america the providence rhode island metro area has more people than the entire state of maine that's a city in rhode island rhode island home to my favorite 600

pound life brothers the asante brothers he's the brother of a 600 pounder or is he they won 600 ones 800 it was a two-part they were so fat they had to have a two part episode on 600 pound life you ever seen the Asante brothers one of them's an absolute cunt one of them's an absolute cunt he refused to put clothes on it's the lighter one no really the lighter one's a really good boy he opened up a little model hobby

shop in Rhode Island the older Asante Steven dickhead so the 800 pounder is is like he's an absolute monster money moves no no he's just very Steven. Dickhead. So the 800 pounder is like... He's an absolute monster. Making money moves? No, no. He's just very, very mean. The one on the left's the righter.

The one on the right, he's the bad boy. How big are their bottom halves? The bottom half? Like 200 pounds. The bottom half on the right one looks like when Squidward got into the Krabby Patties. He's rocking the Kangol. Dude, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, dude. Those boys are from... That boy's from the smallest state. Oh, my God. Yeah. Watch that. If you're watching 600 Pound Life, watch the Asante Brothers. You'll hate him. I usually watch that show and I feel bad. Hate.

Steven Asante. This probably aired over a decade ago or it wasn't recent um i think it was probably 20 yeah it's probably over a decade i'll say this if he is alive still is married do whatever you want in life he it doesn't like it's hard to die dude no so some people will die so easily fucking steven asante went to the place to lose weight he drove in the back of an rv and he broke the rv he made the he was too big for an rv yeah they drove it from rhode island to houston he was in the clinic for six months and gained 83 pounds and became addicted to Dilaudid. He's a drug addict. Addicted to pain pills.

He did 127 milligram Vicodin in a day. He gained 83 pounds and he's still alive. And he's a dickhead. And this was years ago? Yes. Okay, he survived years. Plurals. Pluracy. Since then.

Do whatever you want in life. Do anything to your body. I'm going to. Drugs, alcohol, danger, stunts, do anything. Dude, I'm telling you. He can't die, and everybody's rooting for him to die. I got to pull up the worst of Steven Asante. Oh, you'll hate him he would call his dad make his dad send him pizzas to he oh sending pizzas even the doctor would talk shit

about him yes yes i remember that the doctor would like he'd be like how did you gain weight how is this possible and he'd be like i don't know man i just i really wanted some cookies and he's like do you not get what the fuck i'm trying to do he was just he refused to like listen to anything and he's still alive he fell out of the back of a golf cart and pretended to be hurt he just slid right off the back because that's the only way they could show him an apartment tour is with through with a golf cart what was it a museum dude what the fuck i got the halls wide enough for that yeah so they drove from Rhode Island to Houston, and they had to drive through McDonald's every 100 miles. He's a new rest.

He's the new rest. So he went to fat rehab and gained 83 pounds. Yes. Assant. Oh, my God. He's the number one enemy of the podcast. Assanti. Yes.

But the younger Assante is an angel. Oh, I hate him. I don't even know. He picked on his younger brother. Gaines and Abel. Oh, shit. That's the first joke. Disable.

Disable. Sugar, cane, and disable just go home and watch the episode i promise you i've been addicted to tlc that is my i think that's great shit dude i watched an episode of hoarders set in our hometown someone yeah i saw that it happened. They had to climb up eight feet of trash to get into the door. They had to mountain climb. And she said she hoards for her own protection

so people can't break in. That's actually kind of a 500 IQ play. But anyway, fuck Stephen Asante, Rhode Island. I'm sorry, Kyle. I just had to get that out of the way. That's everybody's homework. Everybody watch this. And if you like Stephen Asante at the end of this yeah no you can't i i need you to watch it he's traveled the world he starred in

hit cable television shows he moves he does things he this is able to eat whatever he wants. I know. He lives. He gets to have 120 Vicodin a day. That's amazing. Yes. And it's all paid for by TLC. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever. His leg looks like a fucking topographic map.

His leg looks like how the fucking, how the fucking Sierra Nevada feels on a globe. It is disgusting. You should roast him next week. Next week is the roast of Stephen Asante. But for it to make sense, people need to watch the episode. Part one and two. The back of his knee.

Which is a which is a thing, a body part that you never think about or consider. Yeah. His is probably like the inside of a pumpkin. Yes. Yeah. Dude, he just can't wear shoes. He just can't.

He has, he has acne on the behind his knee. His feet are fat. Yeah. He can't, he is, it's unbelievable. Okay. Maine, I'm sorry.

Asante. I need him to keep living. He won't die. It's so hard to die. But some people do it so easily. Some people do make it look easy. Yeah. All right.

Maine, subpar population, but that's not indicative of anything good or bad uh he called the cops on his caretaker because she was taking his rental tv back his rent oh oh you'll hate him you can yeah what so the the the rehab facility let him rent a tv and he was so mean to his caretaker, she took his TV back. He locked her out when she was taking out his when she was emptying out his piss jugs. And he locked her out, called the cops on her and tried to keep the TV. He gained 83 pounds in rehab. Yeah.

At his body mass, that has to be hard to gain weight. So I don't know what he was doing. He was having 12 large pizzas and like five two liters of coke like a week or no he would have a five liter of coke like multiple two liter of coke multiple that wow yeah i'm sorry i just i got a saunty brain and i uh if i die before him i will be so mad but yeah I mean he's how old is he 30s he was 30 when he went into it so he's probably 40 I'm gonna go off this decade

Maine is Maine yeah weak population if you want to talk about the flagship city Portland Portland Maine 68,000 people Portland Maine is I mean we all know Portland Oregon Portland, Maine, 68,000 people. Portland, Maine is, I mean, we all know Portland, Oregon, but Portland, Maine is not only significantly smaller and less popular than Portland, Oregon,

but it's not even in the Mount Rushmore of largest suburbs of Portland, Oregon. Hillsborough, Beaverton, Vancouver, Washington, Gresham, all bigger than Portland, Maine, insignificant. Portland, Maine, it wouldn't even be a top 20 largest neighborhood in New York City. It would be 23rd between Park Slope, Brooklyn, and Ridgewood, Queens. But again, population isn't really indicative of anything until you look at their black percentage. Maine is the closest U.S. state to Africa geographically, but the furthest demographically and culturally, with only 1.8% of their population being African-American. That's only 18,000 people. More people from Maine speak French than Ebonics.

And that's just a fact. That's just a fact. And the people who do speak Ebonics in Maine do it. They don't even do it poorly. They do it richly. Rich Ebonics? Yeah, they can't even speak Ebonics in Maine do it. They don't even do it poorly. They do it richly. Rich Ebonics? Yeah, they can't even do Ebonics. It's just like Francis talking about shoes.

It's like someone like don't scuff the constructs. And they say that to their CPA when they drip ink on their duck boots. So very un-black. If you want to put that into a different perspective, 18,000 black people in Maine. The Mid-Florida Credit Union Amphitheater in Hillsborough County, Florida, had more black people in that small amphitheater on August 22nd when Little Baby performed than the entire state of Maine at any given moment. The postal code of Maine is M-E. A larger percentage of black people have came from M-E, me, than Maine. If you count Filipinos and toy assistants as black people.

And what? If you count Filipinos and toy assistants as black people and successfully induced orgasms, respectively. Central Florida University College in Orlando has a larger total population of non-whites in Maine. Things that have a higher percentage of black people than Maine. Barstool sports, the Edmonton Oilers, the Lord of the Rings, Trillit,

the series. If you count Sauron, Seth, no, none others. Seth MacFarlane's voice. So yeah, no diversity in Maine. Let's look at things that bring people to man what are their

odds and ends are their attractions they have the world's largest telephone in bryant pond they have the birthplace of the earmuffs in farmington they have this is one of their biggest this is one of their most popular the big not the giant not the biggest the big milk carton in presque isle how big is the milk carton it's not even there was a big milk carton in Presque Isle. How big is the milk carton? It's not even, there was a largest milk carton, there still is, the largest milk carton in Spokane, Washington is only 35 feet tall. That's shorter than the Denver Nuggets starting lineup.

Six man included. The largest milk, but this is this big event, the large milk, the big milk carton, they didn't even do the biggest. They could have easily made the biggest, but they just made big milk carton. They have the 31 foot tall Paul Bunyan statue. There's a bigger one in Klamath. They could have just made it a few inches taller and it would have been the biggest in the world.

Now they just have big Paul Bunyan. OK, monster of unfathomable pedigree in this town of Bath. I don't know what that is. Let's look at the tallest buildings in Maine, the tallest building in Maine. So Maine boasts that they are one of the happiest states in the U.S. and they have the lowest suicide rate in the U.S. Well, let's look at this. The tallest building is St. Joseph's Church, which is 235 feet. Several people, a large percentage of people, have survived falls taller than 235 feet. You can't physically kill yourself in Maine. St. Joseph's Church, that's the tallest building at

235 feet. To put that into perspective, St. Joseph's apartment building in Prospect Heights, Brooklyn is slightly taller at 241 feet. St. Joseph's women's track team is taller than the tallest. Did you do the math? I did the math. I went through every roster. I didn't even look at the women. I didn't even pay attention to their faces. St. Joseph's women's track team is taller than the tallest building in the state of Maine by one foot. Wow. Forty three young female athletes with an average height of five foot five and three quarters. The second tallest building, St. Patrick's Church. Third, the Cathedral of Immaculate Conulate conception the fourth is a library miller library um 185 feet 15 cases of miller light would be taller than that if you want to

put like the amount of beer at a any given house party wait 15 cases of beer is how tall is two is 185 feet are you saying all the beer cans stacked on top of each other? If you had to know, there'd be three hundred and sixty two cans of Miller Light, 15 cases. OK, OK, nothing. All right. Famous people from Maine. A hockey player, Stephen King. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this website says Anna Kendrick the lovably petite 37 year old actress and singer is the most famous person from the

pine tree state petite icon she's not even the most famous Kendrick under five foot four it's all love K-Dawg

it's the most famous male celebrity and by some accounts the most famous person of all time from maine is stephen king the 75 year old king of horror known for writing best-selling novels like it carrie and pet cemetery is the most famous person from the state that's a male okay he's not even the most famous person who did carrie in 1974 that would be harrison ford who had an affair with his much younger star wars co-star carrie fisher in the same year speaking of fucking teens stephen king isn't even the most famous king with an underage orgy section on their wikipedia controversies tab that would be ivan the fourth less fictional but still the same stephen king isn't even the most

famous person named stephen in his mid-70s who created a supernatural critically acclaimed masterpiece in the 80s with a two-letter title that begins with a vowel and ends with a t that would be stephen spielberg director of damn he doesn't even have that can't even claim that that's all you're claiming and then the rest of the list it gets it gets weak fast aaron andrews is like third or fourth um she's not even the most famous woman named aaron who's best known for a settlement case athletes that would be brockovich athletes this is where it gets pathetic the best athlete from maine of all time is a woman named joan ben Samuelson. She's a marathon runner, a gold medalist in 1984.

No one. Do you know her? No. That's the most famous athlete from the state to put like West Virginia. Jerry West, the face of the NBA. Randy Moss, a more white, maybe in less significant state. Joan. Joan. and this is funny. Joan is from the coast is from coastal Maine outside of Acadia National Park.

Well, is that funny? Like Joan of Arcadia is a more famous thing than that. All right. The next is the next second most famous male best male athlete of all time is a snowboard cross

player named Seth Westcott. What do you mean? He's a snowboard cosplayer. No, he does snowboard cross, which is a sport.

Yeah. The best NFL player of all time from Maine. Who is is The best NFL player of all time from Maine. Who? Is Matthew Mulligan, a tight end out of Penobscot Valley High School. He played. He was undrafted in 2008 and signed with the Dolphins under head coach Tony Soprano before being promptly.

I don't think it was. Soprano before being promptly cut from the practice squad. He played a total of eight seasons for 11 different teams, all under the Obama administration. He averaged two seasons per reception. He's the best football player from the state of Maine seasons per reception he's the most he's the best football player from the state of maine he's not even the most famous matt mulligan all right that was the most famous matt mulligan is lower when he cheated and got some extra strokes in okay um but this guy he played for 11 different teams in 2000 in 2008 he played for two different

afc or uh conference championships teams dolphins i made that up um best nba player oh god i don't know the best nba player of all time granted Cooper Flagg is coming up he's 16 but he doesn't yeah of course you can't forget about Cooper Flagg

he's gonna be he's a top recruit a top draft pick maybe but the best NBA player of all time from the state of Maine I hate to do this to him

but this is all you need to say he follows Anus on Instagram no he's the man he's Duncan Robinson oh yeah This is all you need to say. He follows anus on Instagram. No. He's the man. He's Duncan Robinson.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. He's good. Yeah. You got a bag? Yeah. Yeah. He plays the G League or the Heat.

Yeah. Good for him. Not the most famous Duncan Robinson. That was Nate who won the contest three times most famous famous musical artists is the ghost the band the ghost of paul revere 17 000 followers on instagram and then the most famous musician solo is spose the rapper how can somewhere it's a pretty wealthy state, is it not? Yeah. How,

like, that seems like if you have wealth, you can let your kids pursue the arts like that. Anything, music, sport, yeah. Is Francis fucking in their top 10? He might,

yeah, he might be. He might be. Oh my God. Do they have a mayor that you like? Oh, yeah. So here's the deal. I went through every single mayor of every single actual city. And we're not going to water down the heat checks if they don't have heat checkable mayors. I'm just not going to do it it that's good uh i think we teased it we teased the augusta mayor he hasn't posted in two years and he has like a bunch of comments from people who thought he was up next yeah i mean i don't know what to say he looks like a fun goofy

guy oh my god damn dude you made main pretty horrible. Did you find a picture of Betty DeVille's head? I did. Also, she is now a lesbian. Is she? Actually, she came out. Whatever happened to Howard? Everyone is freaking out because now she's a lesbian. Yeah, go to the left one.

That left photo. Yeah, her head's shaped like Maine. I think I did a tweet a long time ago, and I did the correlation. If the state is shaped like Betty DeVille, you're allowed to smoke weed. But if it's shaped like her husband Howard, weed is still illegal. The steps it had to take to get to that. I was on a big correlation

kick at one point. How do you even start with that? You could just figure out like I would so bored at my last job. I would just look for any sort of correlation. That's how I found out the Rob Schneider oil spill. I found out when that's Adam Sandler's looking to the left at movie posters. It'll be rotten on Rotten Tomatoes. But if he's looking right at you on the movie poster, it's a that's actually cool.

But I was really just big into correlation. And I really, really forced this one. I was warping the shapes of their heads. But I don't understand how you could look at anything and be like Betty DeVille and Maine. Dude, I I was I confused people with if I found something that vaguely was shaped like something else, people would be like, that guy's hilarious. something that vaguely was shaped like something else people would be like that guy's hilarious and I found out that the US time zones are shaped

like the characters from Phineas and Ferb yeah she looks just like Maine that was before she came out and she's being an offensive tackle and look at her sweatshirt actually can we sell the Betty DeVille sweatshirt in the Barstool store I would wear the fuck out of that

yeah but her head's shaped just like Maine yeah we're not allowed to get purple sweatshirts I mean I know like in hindsight yeah that's an obvious lesbian but I think a lot of like growing up a lot of like chaperones looked like that every single chaperone was like a Betty DeVille yeah they were tough of like chaperones looked like every single chaperone was like yeah yeah i really yeah

they were tough um yeah i was i was big into correlation uh twitter i was the king of correlation twitter um let's see i'm trying to just find shit i have a twitter draft if you want it. Oh, yeah. Hit me with a Twitter draft. I said, can I bring jewel pods across the Canadian border or did they only smoke dick over there? Kept that one in the chamber. What prompted that?

I don't know. It's just like I have a ton of drafts. It's just in the draft. Dude, I don't have a ton of drafts it's just in the draft dude i don't have it really you were you mad at a specific canadian no i'm going to toronto friday and i'm concerned about bringing one my credit card knife that i have to get out of my bag and my tungsten card but also jewel pots yeah but what would you do you have anything against them that you know no it, it's just the first thing that came to my mind. Tweet that. Should I send it right now?

Yeah. All right. Yeah. What was that? This is the marijuana decriminalization by shape of filling little parent head. That is insane simple little trick to know if weed is decriminalized in your state shaped like betty deville have your phil howard shaped state get a court date i was unfollowing amazing but like look imagine dave portnoy looking at that he was following yeah that's one that's like he was like i put him on but dude i was getting radar look how lazy i was

getting in the middle i was getting so lazy in the middle look what i did look at fucking nebraska i just warped the shape of his head because nobody's zooming on nebraska you look at the corners you look at california you look at texas flor, and Maine. And so I just... Oh, dude. I might have to get back into correlation. Yeah. Fuck. Didn't you do one with a Yu-Gi-Oh something?

The shadow? No, no, no. I did one where I got a Yu-Gi-Oh dual disc for Christmas, but the package was shaped just like a dildo. I don't know. I was so... Oh, man. i might have to find a correlation tonight it's got to be such a good feeling though when that when that correlation clicks no because they're all forced there's an oil spill every day i just aligned it to rob schneider movies but even if you make it click that click and then i did one i was like yeah this was within two days of an oil spill like yeah you could force people to

believe anything with like yeah with shapes we posted a tiktok of me doing a joke about saudi arabia did you see the comments of that no a bunch of like people just commented the word knee k-n-e-e and it freaked me out i don't know what that means. Oh, that was my bad. Yeah. What are you talking about? I mean, it was your bad. It was your bad? Dude, look at my if you could. I will open up my computer right now. And I was just doing research. Saudi Arabia knee. I thought like they were coming for me.

That was dude. I typed in Saudi Arabian translation because I was just going to put like the news in Arabic. Yeah. As the caption. And it translated to knee. So that's the news is just knee yeah wait does the video just say knee pretty much yeah i didn't i my vain ass just went straight to the comments where the fuck okay here we go let's see

it's on uh instagram because that's where they translate. Um, wait, where do you see the word knee? So if you go to our Instagram, Oh, and then go to the joke, it wasn't TikTok.

It was Instagram. Okay. It'll say a C translation. Yeah. We can try to find a correlation right now and I'll force it. It's the one about the Congo. i think we should do one every time you need something like people will bite on so like every time every time there's a charge against jeffrey epstein or every time like something like that every time uh every date of a Harvey Weinstein assault there was blank okay I actually like this exercise yeah let's just look at one yeah you have to look up one and then find out something that happened

that day and then you just kind of have to force it also we need to do some philanthropy oh I've been doing it pretty pretty hard I have to do a point where i don't know if i can keep doing it i kept an asian woman up all night by every 10 minutes wake up interrupting her fake work session dude i was paying her five bucks to wake up and do the chicken dance and in turn she stayed up all night dancing and made $600. I stayed up all night and lost $600. Spent $600? I kept on doing it.

I was just like, she's going to be so sleepy tomorrow. It's the equivalent of going to a strip club where it's just one Asian girl performing. Have you seen the guy that sits above a dunk tank? No. How does it activate? You can rumble his chair or activate a smoke machine. He never goes in the tank. How many people were watching this Asian woman? A lot, but I was the number one donator.

I got a lot of number one gift, gifter badges. And yeah, I've been giving only one gift. For a lot of money? No. There was a comment just like, damn, Nick and Kyle must be sitting pretty to be able to do this. No, no, no. I get in the zone. I wasted a lot of money, money that I need really badly. Yeah.

But I I'm going to do another hundred dollars today. I bring it up on housekeeping because I didn't want you to spend more money. You have to. I'm going to do another $100 today. Bring it up on housekeeping because I didn't want you to spend more money. You have to. I'm going to give a party bus. What was it? Did I give a party bus? So I figured out the perfect gift. What's the perfect gift?

So I figured out what is the most emasculating gift. What is the most emasculating thing you can do to a TikToker? It's go to the live of a grown man who probably advertises himself as ultra masculine tough like a like a hood dude or a gym bro and you make them thank you for this for for tiny dinies yeah you make them you make them thank out loud troy intern troy for tiny dinies these grown men you make them say thank you for the tiny dinies and I got a lot to do it hold on I'm going to uh it's a small gift

though yeah they're 10 coins I'm gonna put 100 bucks back in 6607 coins i shouldn't have done that that's so much yeah how are you yeah give one out now i'm gonna give one out now but like how much is a tiny tiny 10 coins under a dollar so i kept giving these dudes 41 tiny dinies and making them give away some tiny dinies i i i compiled them all oh you recorded it i screen recorded them all yeah this is just a group of people watching

one woman twerk have you seen these i don't know that that way we got a pack watch oh this is the girl that just stays she's in the shower but you can only see her silhouette that's genius pathetic she has a thousand people in there oh wait this might be the guy what he's singing

he's singing the guy who's the country singer with the crazy jaw what crazy jaw he's got real real crazy Pixar jaw looks like an upside down house

yeah I'm giving this guy he has 15 people watching it's a little much is he active with the chat um he's just so greasy yeah he's got transition lenses yeah is he is he getting 100 bucks he looks like an asante family tree member don't okay he's lost privileges i hate yeah anyone asante adjacent is definitely not getting a tiny-diny. Dude, I think every day on the internet I see the biggest pair of titties I've ever seen.

And I don't know when it'll stop. I just was scrolling through. I just saw the biggest titties I've ever seen. 100%. She had to be in landscape. The panorama nude uh kb i have a uh sort of i have an amazon review oh yeah i just came across one you know i i kind of just let it die because the tungsten one was just sort of we peaked early we did yeah peaks really early there's way more out there tons but i found one

about a cat and i just like oh maybe i'll tell kb about this because he's been exploring the cat world so this is a review on a one of those harnesses that you strap your cat into from a ceiling it looks like a sex swing for a cat so you can never seen that you can bathe them or clip their nails so this guy wrote a whole a whole story about his experience with this cat harness i started with my more tolerant cat he's super squirmy and wiggled out of it a couple times uh he rolled out of a couple times but he was purring the whole time then i started to clip one of one in the picture which is the cat i intended to be this for and oh boy it was a nightmare she was squirmy but okay until I brought out the clippers.

Then she freaked out and squirmed out of it the first time. Then I tried a second time. I got five nails clipped. She started screaming like crazy. Then my other cat thought it was time to scream, and he started screaming with her. Then my other cat got jealous that we were in the bathroom and he wasn't invited. So he started screaming louder and cats suck. That sounds horrible.

Yep. But this is, this is the problem is I think multiple cats and one is suspended in the air freaking out. Yes. The other are on the ground. One's on the ground screaming just because he wants to be involved. And the third one is on the outside screaming because he's not invited.

So he started screaming louder and started doing this thing where he opens the cupboard door in the kitchen slightly so it slams closed. So now you have three screaming cats and then a cupboard door continuously opening and slamming. It's like a fucking beat. Yeah, exactly, dude. Yeah, exactly. I might work with that. You might Charlie Puth it.

And I think it's going to go. Oh, my God. Fucking fix your eye. I fucking hate it. I feel feel whatever then i tried again after giving her a break this time she was so stressed she squirmed initially when i was trying lifting her and fell and whacked her head on the bathroom counter and fell straight into the water bowl in the afternoon so he's now dropped one of the cats its head struck the outside of the sink and it fell into a water bowl one of my cats fucking died yeah uh this time she was so uh stressed she squirmed initially when i was lifting her oh and fell and hit her head sorry i lost my place this time once i hung her up i

turned off the lights and rocked her back and forth to calm her down so now he's in complete darkness with a cat suspended in the air rocking her back and forth then i used the clippers that came with the kit those clippers are way better than any other clippers I own, by the way. And got it all done in a minute. She was crying a lot, but then I'd rock her back and forth a little and kiss her on the head and pet her to calm her down. It eventually worked, though. It was hecking tiring. But this is the first.

Wait, they said hecking? He said hecking. That is a dead giveaway? True cat owner. Yeah, true cat owner. He just read a good journal entry on Amazon. Yeah, true cat owner. He just read a good journal entry on Amazon. Yeah, exactly. I even skipped the paragraph where he talked about how he was really scared his neighbor was going to call the cops.

It sounded like he was just the most typical cat. You know, he says awesome sauce every day. Yeah, he says this isn't on my 2023 bingo card. A hundred thousand. I wouldn't have guessed that would be on the bingo card. So this is a thing now? So that I just wanted to make sure you understood that that was uh i think the main issue is multiple cats right and i actually today is i have a cat what you have a cat i went to the shelter yesterday i don't have it in my possession

i applied i didn't know fill out the application and it's mine what is the criteria what's it look like today it's black it looks just like piperiper. Its name's going to be Piper. You're just keeping it Piper. Yeah. It's the second Piper. Wait, what is the criteria on a cat application? It's double-sided. Did you have to like sign off that you'd give it boobs every day?

I had to do like my history of pets that I've had. I had to check whether or not I plan on walking it. Did you show that big ass litter box you have? No, I didn't even have to do that. Got it. It's mine. Is there a clause in there where you have to do fan fiction TikToks as if

the cat is a human being? Yeah. You guys cool if I take a little break to pay a POC? Oh, yeah. A plain old Caucasian. Yeah. We allow POCs. We hire plenty of POCs.

Oh, I got the greasy guy again. It might have to be him. Yeah, give it to him. I don't know what he's doing. He's got a car seat in the back. He's got zero likes. How many people are in it? Four.

Yeah. Hook him up. A hundred bucks? Fuck. Maybe warm him up a little. A hundred bucks? Yeah, warm him up. That's insane. Let's get a tiny diner there

i mean i have 6 700 coins i'm not gonna you know how many tiny dinies that is but they don't know they don't know what the gifts are worth yeah why the fuck do they do yeah it doesn't make you inclined to pay them a lot. But you do anyway. Yes. What can I do? A pool party? A valley festival? The names of these are just so bizarre. Oh, I can give them Cooper's Home.

Give them like a ham hock. Is there a ham hock on here? But it keeps cutting out. I think it's our service in here. Biggest tits I've ever seen. Oh, wait. I'm going to pay this Florida boy. What do we got?

What was that? Drop this phone. Old Butterfingers. I'm going to pay Florida boy. He's got 10 people watching. All right, Florida boy he's got 10 people watching alright Florida boy let's see are you going to give any tiny dinies out Kyle

if he gives you if you get an A extended wise from him I'll pay you that same amount you'll give me 100 bucks if you get an A alright deal alright I'm going to give him a 6,000 coin valley festival jeez Alright, deal. Alright, I'm going to give him a 6,000 coin Valley Festival. Jeez.

What could that be? That's the Valley Festival. Uh oh. Not even crickets. That's a literal silence. Dead silence. Air conditioner. I just gave you a hundred dollars a hundred bucks there it is I appreciate that wait who was that who signed that

bruh who just signed that oh you got a bruh you just signed that you got a bro. You just signed that? You got a comment back. I appreciate that. Hey, I'm going to follow you back. You got to follow back a hundred dollars. And he's on to the next. He said, hey, I'm going to follow you back. He didn't say he said, hey. He he said a I'm gonna follow you back he didn't say he said a

he didn't I got a comment yeah tell him how much you sent quick hundo for the boy yeah ah no freaking way freaking way no free and then just somebody said about time Ah, no freaking way. Freaking way. No free. And then just somebody said about time.

He's not doing anything. About time. That's the response of someone holding the door for real. Now let's plan what's going on. That's the response of someone holding the door for you. Not a stranger giving you $100. I am over on this. I'm down $200. For every dollar I've spent

No, for every $100 I've spent I can't even. I haven't gotten a thanks yet. Not a thanks. No thanks. How do you say thanks? Thanks. I can't say.

Have I never noticed that or is that new? That ungrateful. Yeah, you just don't know how to say it. There's no word in your language. So do a tiny diny for me. Okay. Because we're the number one philanthropy podcast at Barstool. I think.

Well, I already have a video of my compilation. Oh, you made a compilation of your tiny dinies? Yeah, I kind of added some spice to it. Oh, no. Oh, fuck. You were screen recording your tiny diny? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

What? Since when does tiktok i just it's just in my like playlist now and i just has florida boy just it's just on your phone yeah florida boy imagine your girl like i've been listening my girl sees me just watching florida boy tase fucking live i mean wait can i play his live without like having my phone open oh my god yeah it's yeah yeah imagine there's his ac going imagine your girl seeing that and then be like oh it's probably nothing then she goes opens it up we gave her a valley festival what does that mean it's an emoticon oh it's worth a hundred you just gave him a hundred bucks a hundred bucks dude the regret i

feel every time i'm pressured because the cameras are on i'd never do this shit i'll stop eventually we're gonna have to cut you off well they said people were saying twitch is where like you'll get the really grateful people yeah i mean people go crazy but you can also like bombard you can take all the people watching you into a random group of like i watch ninja do it all the time just got raiding random yeah let's do a group one i like raiding people i raided adriana chechnik the other day dude you're you yours she doesn't care no but it's just nice to hear you say thanks rude boy oh dude you're so disgusting it was my chat's idea

dane cook wasn't live it's always dane cook and he's live but that was just your second one yeah yeah let me see your compilation kyle do you have any uh songs well this is kind of like a song too okay oh yeah oh fuck oh yeah uh today's episode also brought to you by hello fresh make mealtime easy with delicious recipes made with fresh wholesome ingredients delivered to your door no lines no hassle just great tasting meals you can whip up and enjoy in the comfort of your home. With the cost of groceries going up and up,

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veggie dish. Now you can even upgrade for organic chicken or organic ground beef on select meals. I've been using HelloFresh for a long time. It's one of the only good things about going home to my apartment. When I see that nice styrofoam box with dry ice, fresh, great, delicious. Go to HelloFresh.com slash anus60, A-N-U-S-6-0 for 60% off plus free shipping. That's anus60 at HelloFresh.com slash anus 60 a n u s six zero for 60% off plus free shipping. That's anus 60 at hella fresh.com slash and a 60. Those have changed, haven't they?

Owen, I was just saying our presentation of them. Yeah, but yeah, yeah, we, we started at the bottom of 20% and they just keep on going up. That's on us.

Let's hear it, Kyle. All right. All right. You seem nervous. Yeah, because I'm pretty much playing a new track for you guys. Moog's Clues did well on SoundCloud. Did it? How many plays?

I think we're at 10K. What? Yeah, it's fine. Are you more jacks than you were Thursday? Yeah. What? Are you more jacks than you were Thursday? No, losing muscle mass, gaining fat. I started lifting significantly less, eating like shit.

It's the fucking weed. You look great. Thank you. Okay. Intern Troy, the new number one gifter badge. Oh, my God, Troy. What's going on with intern Troy? I appreciate you, bro.

Appreciate the tiny dinies. Hell yeah. Going crazy with them. Oh, Troy with the tiny dinies. Appreciate the dinosaur. We have a little tiny dino in the building. 41 tiny dinos. 41 tiny dinos.

So, yeah, so I've tried. I was doing 41 every time because I wanted these grown-ass dudes to say, thank you for the 41 tiny dinos. Wait, is there a drop coming it'll get $40, let's go. $40, let's go. Thank you for $41. You said $41 more. I appreciate it. $41 more? Yeah, you said $41 more.

I appreciate it. You said $41 more. I appreciate it. Oh, teeny-deeny. Didn't he say teeny-deeny? Listen, Intern Troy, don't head out yet. Did he say teeny-dini? What? Do you think tiny dinies were real and existed? Or do you think they were methodical?

Holy shit. What? What a fucking drop. Blending cinematic universes. Fucking AI. Are you kidding me? Holy fuck, dude. You're a genius. That that's gonna that is gonna

chart yeah that's your magnum opus for sure but those were just like the ones who did say the majority of men like refused to say tiny diney out loud so a lot of them are like thanks for the dinosaurs how much money did you spend again those um not a crazy amount but yeah a lot because i did so many but like give me an estimate like a dollar amount um probably 26 26 bucks 100 no i don't know probably like 100 oh my god it's my new favorite thing to do i love yeah you should hate it because he's doing amazing i'm doing so bad and you're doing how am i bad at giving away money

i suck yeah it's it's i mean what just like what happened like some guy randomly decided to go on tiktok live no one was watching and then someone gave him a hunt like there is no equivalent to that to how grateful one would be i just got to go back to keeping that asian woman awake wait what did you give her a gift and it you give her a donut you give her a donut and she has to do the chicken dance but how does does it trigger a noise obviously yeah she has to get up off her mattress and she does hellish existence yeah and i gave her so much money i was up till about 4 30 in the morning doing it, which is probably noon in Chinchou.

I meant to say... Oh, man. It's a big cut. There has to be a Chinchou. We got to save you. There has to be a Chinchou. It's a water electric type Pokemon. I meant to say, what's the one that it is? You're the only one to be no there's not it's it's a water electric type pokemon i meant to say uh

what's the one that it is it's uh you're the only one of the chongqing first person to ever become xenophobic via philanthropy i didn't mean i confused i confused uh what's it called uh dude it's a place chin chow is a pokemon a Pokemon that has two light bulbs coming out of its head. And I confused it with an Asian city. Oh, fuck. The mold, dude. Yeah, the mold is going straight to my brain. For today's TikTok.

I don't know if we can do it. But Kyle, have you seen the... i want you to do the filters of like the guys that are like who would you rather and it's like the celebrities yeah i would like to write the fuck out of kendall jenner yeah if it's a fuck competition then they do if it's just uh you know if it's what there's another one i think she's more uh pretty than sexy sure that's fair um i want you to get uh i want your first thing be like all right let's try this like who would i rather and then it goes and i want it to be two people that were biologically male but not a head explodes yeah we could do that

yeah your head your head fucking explodes. Give me an example. You get... Nikita Dragun. Was she born a male? I believe so. Jeffree Star? The Matrix? What? What?

Oh, the Wachowski sisters. I just thought you were... Oh, yeah, no, yeah. The Wachowski the directors i just thought you were oh yeah no yeah i think you're the wachowski sister um and wait that nikita she's a cosplayer no she i think i think she's just trans i think she's born male she was born trans she was born yeah i'm pretty sure she's a biological male oh wow i don't know the terminology this is thin ice male presenting yeah sure fine yeah her baby shower was pastel blue

yeah probably all right but i think that can we go that route? You think you're maybe we'll see. All right. I think you have to do that. No. Oh, I'm not. I don't. I'm behind the scenes. You score.

I'm not in this. We'll have a Rudy do it. No. You're funnier. Right. That's why I'm going to direct you. No, no, no, no no no all right a new one let's make a real quick uh welcome back to owens

i'm glad you're back oh it's the best and he uh we got a sketch show sketch show coming out 12 hours ago um that is phenomenal so if you haven't watched it it is up right now yeah go check that out that's at Barstool Comedy YouTube my computer is locked to Chicago so I'm not allowed to I can't boot it up I had to go into Erica's office and shred a stack of jokes this big

some of them were good, I'm sure. Probably. Yeah. Is that Florida Man? What the hell? No. It's just another live. Oh, that's a...

That's weird. How did he do this? Who is this? My phone was locked. I think he just robbed and killed that black guy. And just took over his live stream. I got it. He saw that he was making $100.

He posted it on Snapchat. How did this happen? I got to gift him. Yeah. I'll give him a wide-eye worstie. Wait. Hold on. What am I going gotta gift him yeah i'll give him a wide eye worsty wait hold on what am i going to gift them who's that how did he do this he had a lick on a valley festival all right i'm going to give him a panther pause or maybe

I'll give him a birthday cake for 300. Yeah. He deserves this for hacking into my phone. Sounds as he a minute. I do. That's pretty much all I do. Hey,

thank you for that big TikTok gift. You didn't have to do all that. He did the hand heart. And now he's done. And now he's just moved on. Yeah, they just don't give you nearly enough. Evan Bailey. I'm going to give him another one.

No, it's all these guys who have 10 viewers who act like they're getting them around the clock. Like, oh yeah, thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm going to get McCorgie for $300. Wait, what's his name? I'm going to go in there and battle you. I'm going to versus you. I think his name is Shorty for Life.

Shorty for Life? He doesn't want him. Shorty for life 22. S-H-O-R-T-Y underscore 4 underscore life 22. North Carolina lesbian. Wait.

Lesbian? Oh my god, I got one-upped. I sent it and as soon as I sent it, somebody else just said my dog died yesterday. Are we battling right now? Yeah, I'm gonna load up. Fuck. What are you sending what we should send

what are like some two battling two I don't know this I've he doesn't care she doesn't care she doesn't care all right new until story 335