A New Untold Story - Too Old To Bleed feat. Rone & Sas - A New Untold Story: Ep. 366
Episode Date: October 19, 2023Boy Story + Pilar (visual pod for the first 15 mins). Ads: Factor - Head to https://FACTORMEALS.com/kb50 and use code kb50 to get 50% off. Gametime - Download the Gametime app or go to https://g...ametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code UNTOLD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). Marine Layer - Find your new favorite fits and get 15% off @marinelayer with promo code UNTOLD15 at https://marinelayer.com/UNTOLD15. #marinelayerpod #adYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast
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Hey, a new untold story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcast, Spotify or YouTube.
Prime members can listen to ad free on Amazon Music.
Oh, really?
Is it gonna make me throw up?
Or shit?
Maybe.
That's your reply to what I'm gonna say.
No, you're just gonna say like, no, that's a new untold story.
Hey, is that story old or told?
No, baby!
That's a new untold story.
A new untold story.
It's a fresh, big untold story.
A new untold story.
Today's episode is brought to you by Factor.
Is that the first one?
Or did you send them?
Is there an order?
Let's see here.
It might be.
It's going to be presented maybe later.
Maybe now.
What episode number is it, Kyle?
366.
Is there an order?
Today's episode is brought to you by Factor. I got a lot of good things to say about factor take the wheel baby i use factor literally i actually
do use it use is a weird verb yeah that's not i get a box i get a box once a week i get a box
once a week using makes it seem like you still don't eat it no i eat it every single day yeah
it's great yeah it is for the only way that i'm gonna eat vegetables. That's the only way. Yeah, that's the only way
SAS will feed.
Yeah, exactly.
With Factor,
if you're too busy
this fall to cook,
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It cuts out the grocery store,
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The souffle.
The souffle.
The sous-vide.
What's a broil?
Like a London broil.
What's the one you get
in cold water?
Why don't you...
Blanch.
Yeah, blanch. What's cold? Blanch. cold water? Why don't you... Blanch. Yeah, blanch.
What's cold?
Blanch.
Blanching is a pain in the ass.
Is it?
And that's why I use Factor.
That's why I use Factor.
Because they blanch for me.
They blanch for you.
You guys can go to
factormeals.com
slash KB50.
Use code KB50
to get 50% off.
His name's shorter.
Use code KB50
at factormeals.com
slash KB50 50 off we're here
with ronan sass and also polar hey guys um i'm glad you guys are here for this episode we have
four mics but this is the nicest studio we've been in in months it is by a long shot you guys
have been recording at a poker table yeah yeah. Yeah. That shit is something. Yeah, it's rough out there.
Yeah.
But aren't you guys moving next week?
Priority shows are.
Oh, okay.
So what is it going to be for you guys?
They haven't even given us a date.
We're going to be able to shoot hoops.
Play knockout.
Which you love.
I do, yeah.
Which is your best thing.
The thing you want when you're recording
a podcast is a basketball court there oh yeah add a little bass um but we have polar on i'm glad you
guys are here because we review merch with polar yes and you're a fashion icon and you're an osg
i don't know what that means you're one shirt guy oh yeah yeah and so like you guys are the two demographics
like if you guys can meet on a shirt
like you would wear that you would wear that
often
then it's probably the perfect shirt
but this is a bad episode because you're
wearing like your
prince's ball outfit
I've never seen
that's even like evening wear
this is my winter debutante style you in like evening wear. This is my winter debutante style.
Have you been getting earth tones from Roan?
Earth tone Roan?
No, I'm always earth tones.
You rarely see me in any like neons or anything like that.
But you'll wear like a bright blue blue crew neck for seven months?
Yeah, that is true.
Or your maroon Mississippi State shirt.
But that's earthy.
That's earthy.
I wore that yesterday.
Don't you have like a bunch of t-shirts with big-ass animal prints?
I do, yes.
Those aren't flashy.
No, but I don't really wear those that often.
Those are more just in-house pieces.
Those are lounging pieces.
I asked Pilar if we could get friendship bracelets in the store,
like the Taylor Swift ones, but she made me a promo.
It's W-N-G-N-G.
W-N-G-N-G. W-N-W-N-G.
What does that mean?
What Nikki wants, Nikki gets.
It's kind of my credo.
I like that.
I want to get these in the store.
Just so it's like a what would Jesus do, but a little bit more believable.
What's the price point?
What's the...
I think this was going to be...
You're going to have to sell them for $20.
Ooh.
Which is kind of steep for a friendship reason.
Steep as hell.
Yeah.
Yeah, if you're paying like any amount of money though for that,
it might as well be 20.
Yeah, true.
If you're buying this, it's not like something you're going to use.
It's just to say, yeah, it's somebody who has disposable income anyway.
Here, here, let's do this and I'll show you a set.
Yeah.
Okay, okay.
Well, so this is tricky because we don't really have a,
I don't really have a...
I don't know how you guys are all going to see it once, but I'll show it to you guys first. You guys tried to make a poster early on for Son of a Boy Dad, right?
A what?
A poster.
It did really well.
I find that hard to believe.
Well, it's nice because it was so portable.
It was a fucking piece of printer paper.
Yeah, you guys did a portable poster.
It was an 8x10, and they were selling it for like $55.
Yeah. You guys wanted a poster, a portable poster. It was an 8x10. Dude. And they were selling it for like $55. Yeah.
You guys wanted a poster.
A full poster.
And I feel like that's one of the easier asks.
Like I thought it would be easier to make a poster than a t-shirt.
But like it's cool if you wanted to like, it was like if you're going from place to place, you just put it in your pocket.
Oh, yeah.
It's like a sports card.
Yeah, it really is.
Yeah.
I got mine psa graded
but i think we could do one like a kb what kb did what live at plymouth rock
as a poster yeah because like i think with like some tour dates yeah that's perfect can we get
them larger and tour date on the back oh you want a t-shirt i was thinking posters that's why i went
because like plymouth rock have you guys ever been to plymouth rock yeah it sucks yeah it's very small big size of like a laundry machine
yeah it is it's very tiny i would like this on a t-shirt though a summer of chris oh we went to
head kennywood park who did a chris rock themed uh summer yeah like that and so summer of chris
back and chriser than ever we will chris your world i think let's just say we should we will
chris your chris the 2008 can we do that can we use yeah we can try what does that mean basically the what's the show everybody hates chris they own
probably that picture they own chris they own chris they own chris so that's gonna be tough
can we do a lookalike just a guy i get him not yeah yeah it could be kb instead of Chris. Well, there's... Wouldn't work.
Wouldn't work.
Here's me on two monitors
looking both at hentai
with a ring light in front of me.
Who's making these?
The Discord.
That's a good shirt.
Would you wear that shirt?
Me watching hentai on two monitors
with a ring light in front of me?
Sure.
I wouldn't wear it, but we could
sell it. It's not about
you.
Would you wear what Nikki wants Nikki gets?
Maybe, depending on
the design. This one just says
I spent $1,200
on this t-shirt at the barstool store.
Oh, shit. I think that's a pretty
good idea. Someone would buy that.
Can we do a more basic font, though?
It's a little too flashy.
This shirt is $1,200. We can give them the font.
Would it actually sell
for $1,200 or would you sell it for like $26
and people could kind of...
I think we should sell it for like $500.
So,
if we sold...
How many $26 shirts would we
have to sell to equal
$1,200?
I'm not good at math.
Like a lot.
I think we just sell one.
We go for one.
Yeah.
One $1,200 shirt.
Okay.
And should we say like limited supply?
Yeah.
Okay.
This is, we started Barstool Kush.
I wanted to talk to you about this because like.
Barstool Kush is taking off.
Speaking of which, I actually smokedush last night prove it i wish i could yeah yeah short-term memory's gone
all right so some people are submitting barstool kush merch this is like our big credo is we don't
fuck with reggie yeah you don't want reggie so that's's an anti-Reggie shirt for Barstool Kush. Okay. Can we do that?
You get it? No. It's like
Reggie. Let me explain. Yeah, go ahead.
I mean, Reggie Miller.
Do you get it now?
No. Let me explain further.
Indiana Pacer. Legend.
Right. Okay, now do you get it? No.
Okay, it's a famous basketball player
named Reggie. Okay.
Okay. Now do you get it?
Reggie is a strain of weed.
Oh, okay.
Barely.
Now do you get it?
Yeah.
We don't smoke weed strains.
We don't smoke weed strains at all.
And then there's this one.
It's, like, printed on the pocket, you know?
Like, there's shirts with, like, the front pocket
and have the cat giving the middle finger.
But this one just has, like, a fucking joint
and a lighter in the pocket
yeah I think that's pretty cool
would you wear that
yeah but we'll take the logo off the front
of the pocket that makes it look less cool
the barstool logo yeah damn
baby are you hungry
do you hear that you hear that
um I'm fasting
you're fasting hard yeah
that's are you trying to get down for the fucking
autism wrestling match?
autism wrestling match?
no I just feel amazing
by like hour 18
second wind
so the first 17 hours was pretty brutal though
I'll do like a double meal
at like 9
PM or AM? PM anyways I'll do like a double meal at like 9 p.m. or a.m. p.m.
Okay.
Anyways, I'll crash like one or two when I have to be on anymore.
Any further questions?
No, I'm just a little concerned.
The Untelda's bitch shirts, do they sell okay?
Yes.
So I think we could bring it back.
And this one says it's a pirate skeleton with a gun and a sword in front of his ship.
And the gun is like it's a smoking barrel.
He had just shot and makes the skull and crossbones.
And it says rule one of the pirate code.
Never make another pirate cry.
That is a good code.
That's a.
Yeah, I think.
Yeah, I think so, too.
Would you wear that?
Yeah.
Never make another pirate.
Big, right?
Yeah, I do like that.
Yeah.
And it's a good
ass code for pirates oh this one's really good kyle you want to explain this one i can try okay
so we have the dominican republic flag and the the republican elephant flag and it says dominicans
and republicans buy anus shirts too so that's for like Dominicans and Republicans?
Right, yeah.
What if you guys did like
an Israel-Palestine shirt
but all the proceeds
went to Ukraine?
Oh, whoa.
Then maybe people
would start doing it,
buying it.
That's a good idea.
That is a good idea.
The shirt just says
I'm going to go missing soon.
Can I see it?
Yeah, it has Leonardo DiCaprio
on it like doing the cheers gift
that's pretty good i like that one this one's actually good it's a new untold story with a
it's like the willy wonka font yeah it'll be way easier with the television
i love this one i would wear the fuck out of this shirt okay that would be awesome
no we didn't. Not gay.
We can do not gay in the store. Can we do it like that, Alien?
Might not print that big. Okay, that's fine. I think even small
not gay with the alien. I like that a lot.
I love that shirt. I love the purple.
Rowan, you wear purple occasionally.
Of course. No, I love that.
But I want it big, though. I feel like it needs
to be as big as possible.
What does trying entail?
Like, I'll ask our printers how big we can print.
You ask the printer?
Like, well, yeah.
It's our vendor.
The printer is a profession of a man.
No, like a screen print is like a person.
Oh, okay, yeah.
It's a job.
This one's on the flip side.
This one's just gay.
But it's Mook's face real big.
Everybody's making Mook shirts right now.
As long as Mook's mom says it's okay big everybody's making mook's mom says it's
okay there's a picture there's a shirt with his mom on it that i didn't include
barstool kush that's that's a good ass logo for barstool kush
is it trippy enough though it's not true no but i was thinking you could do like a inverse like
the outside is all optical illusion but that's like the center. Oh, that's a really good idea. Like a tie dye. Like a tie dye.
Yeah.
Okay, we could do that.
Come suck on my shark tits.
I don't know.
Did we ever talk about that?
No, we never spoke about that.
Okay, I like this one.
It's a really, really long t-shirt and on the back said, my pants box is on the way.
It's like their pants haven't gotten there yet.
Can we do that?
I'll have to find a really long t-shirt.
Well, it can be like a nightgown.
Okay.
Or a dress.
A dress?
Yeah.
Okay.
An anus dress in the store.
That's on my leaderboard now.
An anus dress.
Yeah, the dress, my pants box is on the way.
Sexy red, but it's all mook.
She sued us, so probably no sexy red.
Sexy red sued us?
Yeah.
Sued us hard?
No, she just asked to take a shirt down.
What was the shirt?
I don't know.
It had something to do with the Jets.
The New York Jets?
Oh, was it a picture of her and the Jets owner?
Maybe.
They fucked?
I think it said Ski-E or something.
Okay.
What did Robert do?
The coach?
Yeah.
What do you mean, what did he do?
You just wanted to prove that you knew the head
coach's name this one i think would be awesome on a t-shirt it's cops after a drug bust but
they just have our anus logo yeah i think that's fucking awesome polaris the original photo of
that just like a tiny bowl in the center of the in the center of Yeah, it's a tiny little bowl of weed. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's it, actually.
But can we do the hentai?
Me at hentai?
Watching hentai?
Can we maybe blur out part of the hentai?
Not this one, no.
Okay.
What about just like a different frame of the hentai?
So it's like, is it the juiciest frame of the hentai?
No, no, this is actually pretty soft core.
It just shows the curves.
Yeah.
So then what's the...
Okay, that could...
There might be nipple on the right one.
Yeah, we might have to edit some of it, but...
Just remove the nipple.
Yeah.
I feel like that's a slap in the face to the artist.
No, that's all we had so far.
That's all we had for you, actually.
But what was your favorite there um i liked the actual untold story logo with the in
the willy wonka font not gay is my top okay okay and then i think the the pirate oh okay we'll do
not gay a pirate's code okay and then we'll just do what about barstool kush we'll do that'll be
our black friday can we do green can we do green saturday like our stuff's on sale like our weed
merch is on sale on saturday yeah saturday only yeah we're not going to do black friday we're
going to do green saturday green saturday okay yeah is that fine you still promote on black friday
the rest of the store we'll do other people's stuff.
Okay, cool.
Yeah.
Can we count on you guys to have our back on Saturday?
Let's get that.
100%, yeah.
Green Saturday.
Green Saturday.
Well, thank you, Polar.
Thank you so much.
Thank you for the bracelet.
That'll be in the store, too?
No, probably not.
Unless people want to pay $20 for it.
Please.
I think they would.
Because it's a bracelet.
That's something you could wear every day.
Right.
Easily.
Right. And it can be as outlandish as it can be. It's a bracelet that's something you could wear every day right easily right and it can be as like outlandish as it can be it's a bracelet it's an accessory
that's a hot piece
you're sure that's what it stands for
what Nikki wants Nikki gets
oh you made that personally
oh I thought you bought it online
I don't want it anymore
it's stuck thank you pilar you're the best all right guys it's football season it's event season
the weather is cooling up and you got to get indoors to an arena and experience an event
yeah we're talking about game time you shouldn't have to worry when you buy tickets to your next big event
it's uh it's a stressor that will ultimately lead to you not going to an event with game time it's
a for sure thing game time is the fast and easy way to buy tickets for all the sports music comedy
my sister's going to sassa show in raleighigh. She's using GameTime. Wow. And you can see it. I used GameTime.
We're going to Cleveland.
You and I.
With a group of people.
To the Ohio State-Penn State game?
No, Ohio State-West Virginia.
West Virginia game.
Yeah.
Basketball.
I've been using it.
My loved ones use it.
My haters even use it.
And they have a blast.
Yeah.
That's why.
I mean, it's frustrating.
GameTime is frustrating because everyone's using it.
Yeah, do you want your haters to use it or not?
Yeah, I guess.
Yeah, they're always up.
Yeah, they're always in a great mood because they're using game time often.
Last minute tickets, flash deals, zone deals.
Easy to find and buy tickets for every kind of event.
Again, every kind of event.
And if you're not doing events, you will become depressed.
You need that sense of thrill
and camaraderie
about going to an event.
You will be depressed. Do not forget this.
Again, they have the best deals on tickets. Yeah, you can't
shack up in your apartment all day, all
year. Give them the code.
They want the code. They're begging for the code.
The Game Time Guarantee means you'll
always get the best price if you find tickets in
the same section any way they can get it cheaper game time will credit you 110 of the difference
the code yeah okay download the game time app create an account if you haven't already and
use code untold untold 20% off your first purchase.
Is it 20% or $20?
$20, which could be a percentage.
If it's $100.
Yeah, which is a common price.
Game time. Use it.
What's going on, boys?
Are those really
going to get made? The shirts?
Yeah.
We sometimes forget to do the artwork.. They actually give you the artwork.
We sometimes forget to do the artwork
and send them in.
You've got to give the artwork.
Yeah, I want not gay so bad.
Not gay is a good shirt.
I would rock that for sure.
You know who else would rock that?
Gay dudes.
Yeah.
They would do it.
They like to pretend.
They do an irony now too.
Also,
gay guys love to convert straight guys.
So imagine a gay guy wearing that out. He's on a little bit of a dry spell and another gay guy thinks he's going to convert this
straight guy yes it's in fact a gay guy or a gay guy is trying to flip straight guys and he's
wearing the not gay shirt so he can hang out with the gay or with a straight guy all day and then
at the end of the day when he's fucking him he's like no I'm not gay this isn't should we have like a velcro patch to where you could move
not
an adjustable
like a scooby doo
yeah he was gay the whole time
what if he like changes color in the sun
give me that
when you sweat yeah when you sweat it
like a underarm rock goes away
gay
and gay as an outline that gets larger yeah just really boldly gay Yeah, when you sweat it. Like an underarm. Gay.
And gay as an outline that gets larger.
Yeah.
Really fucking big.
Gay.
That would go crazy.
Holy shit.
What the fuck?
Looking back in horror. I used to consider that an inexplicable phenomenon like gay guys converting straight guys but
so what do you get it um were you converted it feels so good to have someone want to fuck you
oh like it's so rare and such a high yeah that that like the two to three times it's happened
to me i leaned in a little bit to that gay dudes wanted to fuck you yeah like i don't explicitly reject
that i don't know if i've ever i don't know if a gay dude's ever wanted to fuck me if a gay guy
comes on to me i get like insanely like japanese school girl bashful it's a great feeling so you're
saying you lead them on a little bit yes wait really you play into it yes that's what you
mean by leaning in hall col. Stumbled in there.
Very gay bar.
My most wasted, yeah.
And I was just...
I didn't deny him at all.
Because it feels homophobic to be like,
I'm not gay, dude.
Yo, dude, just so you know, I'm fucking straight.
You can't do that.
Especially when it's just a gay dude just talking to you
and instantly you're like,
this fucking guy's definitely trying to fuck me. It happened to me twice he is 100 both times i like
apologize for not being gay yeah that's what i'm saying if i was i would and then like me even
saying that's kind of gay column has a column has a story about uh which i think it was in a special
about he went to a gay bar he he told me the backstory he had to like pass out he was in it was in like ireland or some shit like bar. He, he told me the backstory. He had to like pass out.
He was in,
it was in like Ireland or some shit like a long time ago.
He was young.
It's like pass out flyers or some shit.
That's a funny accent.
I'm a lisp.
I know.
And,
and the gay dude came up to him behind him and he goes,
I want to take you home and shave you.
And Colin was like,
what the fuck?
I,
I,
shaving is a sensual thing. yeah you're getting very close to
someone with a blade yeah yeah it's dangerous a little bit it is dangerous that's the equivalent
of like jerking off with a nuson yeah it's it's autoerotic asphyxiation with somebody else yeah
but was he gonna come with the guy or was it just gonna be a trip to the barber shop i think it was
just trip to the barber shop shave his face or a whole body the barbershop. I think it was just a trip to the barbershop. Shape his face or whole body?
I think his whole body.
I think he wanted probably not even the face, probably the chest or something, right?
Or his ass. I thought gay dudes liked hair.
I think it's different strokes.
Different strokes.
You brought up Columbus, Kyle.
I kind of have a story about Columbus that involves you.
Pilot of Rediscovering America.
We had zero budget.
So we land in Columbus. We have to stay at my friend anthony's this was my same friend that visited me this past weekend
and he brought up our trip to columbus because we stayed there and he said you were a really
good guest and when you left because we slept on their couch what i do you folded up all the
blankets and handed them in you had it nice and piled and we left before they woke up is there anything you
recall um no i we just i just slept in his basement i remember that they had to throw
away the blankets because they were covered in blood oh no yeah i don't know but he said like you folded it to try to hide it but
they're like oh no a lot of blood i didn't know i bled but i was bleeding for a while like from
where so how do you know it was for a while if you didn't know you bled my ear apparently it was a
lot of blood your ear my ears would bleed for a while my pillow was covered in blood or it was
why would your ears bleed i don't know ever since i had
cauliflower ear the like the insides of my ears are always in pain they flake up and they bleed
yeah they said there was i didn't know if i knew i would i still would have done the same thing i
guess yeah yeah what the fuck but why would your blood why would your ear blood get on all the
sheets and stuff like that though wouldn't it just get on the pillow
I'm trying to think of those other things
was it squirting it was all over the blanket
they had to throw away the blanket
it was a maroon blanket
probably not
after you were done with it
I don't know I feel bad
yeah
no don't feel bad they have plenty of blankets
right but it was just I thought you were like oh fuck
And you just folded it
Imagine having to tell them that though
I don't think I folded the blankets
You were a good guest apparently
I had my buddy Cleveland come up to visit my place
At least I bleed in my sleep
When no one's looking
I didn't go to bed last night
Until I stopped bleeding
I was bleeding from my shin
You can't go to bed last night until I stopped bleeding. I was bleeding from my shin. You can't go to bed bleeding.
Dudes bleed.
True. That is true.
That is a very manly thing to do.
When was the last time you openly bled? I don't remember
the last time I bled.
Why were you bleeding from the shins?
Oh my god. Is that from a bike pedal?
Yeah. Probably. Looks like it.
Pimples don't count, right?
No. When was the last time you really blededs you really you really you were gushing i can't
remember the last time i gushed oh my god has to have been dude i need to 10 years ago yeah you
don't bleed often you gotta try it i gotta bleed last time i really bled i was roller skating and
i jumped over something why roller skating it doesn skating? It doesn't count. Why?
Roller blading, maybe.
I was roller blading,
not skating.
You would have said that.
Roller blading is the one
where it's a blade
instead of the four, right?
You said skate.
Sounds like you know
exactly what they are.
I was roller blading
and I jumped over something
at school and I...
How long ago was it?
This was your last bleed?
This is my last...
This is the last remember this
is the last notable bleed that i have because i bled down to the socks and my socks turned all red
it was so much blood what did you where'd you uh get hit your leg i i tripped to going full speed
and i and i probably slid on my knees or something slid on both of my knees for had to have been
30 seconds went back and my the skin was on the sidewalk.
Dude, I don't remember the last time.
I don't know if I've ever bled. Couldn't go to hockey practice.
But you could be hemophiliac
then. Because if you bled, what if you don't stop?
Oh, shit. I have
all the blood I've had in me since birth.
That's fucking crazy.
Never leaked any blood?
No. You're airtight?
You would freak, yeah.
I would freak out.
Bleeding is kind of a young man's game, though.
It's more of a child's game.
Skin, knees?
Yeah.
You're too old to bleed.
I know.
That's why last night I was like,
I can't go to bed bleeding.
I might die.
That would be a sick album name.
Too old to bleed.
Too old to bleed.
I like that.
Or even like a band name.
Yeah.
No, but old people bleed a lot.
Old people are always bleeding from somewhere.
Old people just have like a black eye and a glove yeah old people bruise oh yeah yeah they'll just be like bruised
up their arm they'll have like a brace on or something like that it's fucking gross i have a
columbus story as well uh i i did uh one of my first rap battles of all uh of all time it was a
two-on-two rap battle in tag. Tag team? Tag team with this guy named
Young Zim, an overweight Puerto Rican from
Chester County, Pennsylvania.
And he
picked me up at Penn State with his older
cousin, June or Tone,
I forget which one it was, but they were obviously
all Puerto Rican. And we pulled up,
did the rap battle, and then afterwards we went to
a pool hall and he had
Perky's. He had Perkky's he had perc fives
he has he had in a tinfoil container and took one of them we played some pool and it didn't do
anything and then i took the other one and immediately i felt in my stomach and so i had
to go outside the pool hall to projectile vomit it was fucking disgusting and i was like all right
take us home to the hotel but he wanted to have a bigger better night than that the three of us were sharing two beds i think in a hotel room or something
so he was like i'm gonna order a hooker and he's like you guys go sit in the lobby and so me and
young zim after our rap battle had to go sit in the lobby as he like walked down just for him
just for him just for him it wasn't for us it was for him like still
nauseous off the perk i was nauseous off the perk tired as fuck after having a rap battle i had to
drive back to penn state the next day he walked down to the lobby and walked back in with not one
but two uh chunky chunky yeah i was gonna ask what's a middle ohio middle ohio prostitute look
like oh actually no so one was they look like the um henchmen from
101 dalmatians yeah you know one tall thin one and one like really round you could also have
said hercules then too yeah i could have said hercules i guess they every henchman is a skinny
one with a big nose and a fat guy it's a marty mush and a big ev oh my god yeah they are the
two henchmen of any jacks commercials yeah those Jacks commercials? Yeah, those are henchmen.
They're making it.
Yeah, they are. No, but they're henchmen.
And so we watched them
walk in and go
up to the hotel room and we like,
we're just like dozing off on these
plush lobby couches of a Days Inn
and then like 45 minutes later
he was done fucking both these girls.
Good on him. And he was like, you guys could.
Or I don't even know because we probably dozed off.
I don't know how much time passed.
Could have been 15 minutes.
Could have been two hours.
And just we just like fell asleep.
Did you win the tag team battle?
I think it was unjudged.
Oh, I like that.
When do you tap out and tap in?
Was it like when you're really struggling?
He was like, come on.
He had done that before.
He forgot his stuff. So he'd like elbow me in the middle of it.? He was like, come on. He had done that before. He forgot his stuff.
So he'd like elbow me in the middle of it.
But that was a different tag team.
But it was my first time around prostitutes and Percocets.
Wow.
Doctors out in the same night.
In Ohio.
Columbus, Ohio.
Pennsylvania and Ohio are like dudes for fun.
They just get sick off Percs.
Yeah.
Everything I've heard about opioids opioids they don't really sound
that fun no they're not at all mostly the death the death is bad that's probably the best part
yeah that's probably it because you're no longer nauseous yeah it's just like yeah like i'm
nauseous all the time and my turds are the driest thing on earth my turds are rocks and i'm itchy
dude there's this guy that's dropping opioid shits outside of the chicago office yeah and it's like unbelievable it looks like like the utah salt flats like you
know how like you have like the is that is that where they are yeah yeah yeah it looks just like
that it's caked up yeah like a serengeti yeah but nothing compares being back in new york i'm now
hyper aware of all of the nuances the the smells. What are you noticing?
Yeah.
I lost my New York ability very quick.
I got like,
I'm like stressed in the streets.
Really?
It's like a sheer cultural blend on any given block.
Like you'll get like the homeless guy who's in and like a nice fit and well
groomed and the very homeless guy who's like leaking septic oil.
Then you'll get like Rupert Murdoch.
who's like leaking septic oil then you'll get like Rupert Murdoch
and then you'll get like
a dude who's on the phone
exclusively cussing
yeah
he just feels like fuck
you heard? just saying fuck
he just says fuck over and over
you heard?
you'll get like the expressionless model girl
who looks like an alien
you'll get like a 90s...
Dude, I've been out of New York for so long,
I forgot women could be thin.
What the fuck?
What the fuck are you...
Are these girls okay?
You get the guy who just got the bloody pulp beat out of him
and he's doing all right.
Oh, yeah.
Timothy Chalamet strutting down
like a cartoon bully and you'll get like the guy the fedex guy who's pushing the carts full of bins
yeah he'll just stop for 10 minutes to freestyle yeah they're the best best like a 97 year old
four foot three woman who's doing errands at a pace of one meter per hour
you're like how is she ever gonna finish oh she alive yeah that milk's expiring by the time she
gets home it was like a german family of five all over six foot three under 160 bewildered and then
ryan from the office that's it. That's one of them.
That's one of them.
It's exciting.
For sure.
Is it not like that
in the Midwest?
You guys have homeless out there.
No celeb zone?
Not even close.
Really?
When I was in Chicago,
they were saying that
heroin's not really
a big thing out there.
Really?
Which I didn't believe
because I was like,
all the crime.
I was like,
what's the big drug out here?
And someone was like,
weed. And I was like, that can't be. I was like, all the crime. They were like, I was like, what's the big drug out here? And someone was like, weed.
And I was like, that can't be.
I was like, you guys, there's no way you guys have Iraq levels of war in your city over weed.
Yeah.
I could just buy that.
It's not like an opioid city, I don't think.
What is it, crack?
It's got to be crack or something.
I have no idea.
I don't know.
Cities with that much crime, there's got to be a drug involved.
I've been there for 30 days, man.
Yeah.
You don't know what the crack scene is like? I don i don't know the crack you get a good idea pretty easily
i don't really do any i haven't done anything yeah that's what i've realized well i'm not saying i'm
not assuming you guys have done the drugs no no no i haven't i haven't done anything i've lived in
my apartment building oh yeah the grocery store trivia night i don't even go to the grocery store Amazon Fresh I could do what I've done in Chicago
in
Wilkes-Barre
or Burlington
Vermont
I haven't done anything
Burlington's got a shit ton
of homeless people
Feisty ones, too.
Really?
Yeah.
How do you know that?
Because I've been there a bunch.
You've been to Burlington a bunch?
Yeah, a bunch of my friends went to school there.
Is that a ski town?
Is that a cool city?
Close to it.
Ski towns, I feel like, attract the homeless.
Yeah, which I don't know why, because I feel like I'd want to be anywhere else aside from
Burlington, Vermont.
It's like zero degrees there for nine months out of the year.
It's like a similar correlation, though, between a snowboarder and a guy who's fully homeless, though. It's like zero degrees there for nine months out of the year. It's like a similar correlation
though between like a snowboarder and a guy
who's fully homeless though. Yeah, that is true.
You're a snowboard away.
That's the one, that's the fine
line is the width of a snowboard.
Literally, there is dudes who
probably like, it's like every other year they're homeless.
Yeah. One year they're like, I got a job up
on the mountain again. And then the next year they're fucking
on the streets of Burlington. Alternate. Yeah. Because they're just part got a job up on the mountain again and then the next year they're fucking on the streets of burlington alternate yeah because they're just partying hard it is
true it is i know they i i'm schmacked went to burlington in every video leading up to that was
like people beer bonging and like blacking out i totally forgot about i'm schmacked went to
vermont university or whatever and everyone was just it was just a highlight reel of people
smoking blunts yeah yeah but you know who's behind the the lens is buda ben no way he was the
i'm smacked was barstool no buda ben got hired ben was though from i'm smacked and he was like
their main cameraman and he's obviously a blunt smoker so he was just like go up and just be like
people who are smoking a blunt which is kind of dope that was like that was a wild run of the
internet where it was all those accounts i was watching i'm schmacked in high school
and having never drank or fucked or smoked yeah and like i'm like i'm gonna do this in college
so soon and i just didn't like i was like living through these guys that were a year older than
yeah people probably younger than you in the videos.
Yeah.
Is I'm Schmack still around?
It's got to still be a thing, right?
Yeah, dude.
They got evaluated
like $150 million.
Yeah.
No.
That dude Yousef is rich as fuck.
I'm Schmack got valued
$150 million.
I think they're a scam artist, maybe.
They have a seltzer.
They got to have merch, too.
Yeah, he's lying.
It is long gone, I'd imagine.
No, it's got to still be on Instagram. I'm Schmacked is publicly traded now.
I mean, Barstool has rang the bell at the end.
I'm Schmacked.
Oh, God.
So the whole wintertime, you're going to just be inside your apartment, too.
Like, if you just spent the
whole summer the only good time to be outside in chicago inside i know and so you're just gonna be
more inside now yeah i heard there's a big house party or apartment party culture in chicago but
i don't have any friends there what about the squish party what about nikki smokes's squish
party i was out of town damn i was about to fly in for that one day only. I was about to show up. Have you interacted with him?
I have not. You guys would
get along. I bet. I swear.
I know we would.
You and you guys are complete opposites.
Yeah. You're like a no fun guy.
Yeah, kind of.
He wanted to come to my shows and try
and dump sack. He wanted to blow off the stage.
Yeah. And I was like, I don't know if they're going to let
that happen. Well, because you still haven't jumped off the porch yet. He jumped off the porch the stage. Yeah. And I was like, I don't know if they're going to let that happen. Well, because you still haven't
jumped off the porch yet. He jumped off
the porch at 14. Yeah, that's true. You're still on
the porch fucking hanging onto the pillar, like
scared that the wind's going to take you.
Jump off the porch one time.
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I heard you sass you,
uh,
last week in Chicago,
you got that,
that,
that high.
You're like,
we're going to black out tonight.
Oh,
it was the lat.
Well,
it was,
it was a long ass run. I mean, I was on the road for six weeks straight. I'm not blaming you. So I was like, I'm going to black out tonight. Oh, it was the last. Well, it was a long ass run.
I mean, I was on the road for six weeks straight.
I'm not blaming you.
Yeah.
So I was like, I'm going to get fucked up.
I had an early flight.
So I was like, I think I'm just going to say fuck it.
And we're like, we're getting blacked out.
Well, because Mook was trying to leave and I was having a good time.
I was talking to our buddy Aiden and I was like, I'd like to, I was like, let's hang
out for a little bit.
I was like, let's have a good time.
And, uh, and then I hit Mook's jewel and instantly just this wave of intense nausea.
I felt bad.
It was like me off the Perky's in Columbus.
No, it was like...
The jewel is your perk.
Yeah, it was like...
Guys, let's get fucked up tonight.
Hit the jewel once.
Literally 30 seconds later,
I gotta get out of here, guys.
Like rounding them up, convincing them.
Guys, let's stay. Let's have a good time let's like go to another bar let's hit a late
night bar and then one hit of the jewel and i'm like i gotta go home right now dude thank god you
were with mook and not like a comedian because then they would be like talking about you on other
pods yeah i heard mook brought it up on the act he did yeah yeah there's one other person in this
room who used to do this.
Me?
Yeah.
Pre-diagnosis.
You would always be like, we're blacking out.
Oh, yeah.
I'd go home 17 minutes late.
I'd go home. I wouldn't even.
I'd be like, I got to go home and cramp on my tile.
Yeah.
Usually it would be a text.
But it was so hype, yeah.
It would be right after the yak.
We'd all be here and Nick would be like, Nicky's thirsty.
Nicky's thirsty.
I'd text him.
I'm feeling a blackout today. I'd send like invisible ink and like watch you guys across the room like
wipe your phone we would get so excited and then he'd send like the demon emoji and we're like
fuck yeah dude he'd be like let's go to let's go to central park let's get a couple beers let's
pre-game there and then hit the bars one bar yeah and then i'd be like all right what are we gonna
do nick's like i actually i gotta go pick up my laundry at my apartment, but I'll like
do that.
I'll take 10 minutes and then I'll meet you guys out.
Hours would pass.
I would be cramping.
And we'd be like, Nick, where are you at?
And he'd be like on the train heading there now.
Another hour past boys.
I am beat.
I am destroyed right now.
I cannot make it out.
My stomach sounded like Godzilla 2000.
That's what it was, I think.
So how have you been?
What have you been doing to remedy that?
How have you been? I just don't eat gluten. So so what do you turn change my diet enough to give me kidney stone
yeah yeah dude i was pissing and then just the piss stopped and i looked down it was like when
augustus gloop got stuck in that tube and then i saw it going like i saw it like moving down
another movie reference like when owen wilson got eaten by that anaconda and so i could like
yeah um and then it just shot out and then my dick started bleeding which is like the last
place you want to believe oh it's the last time i bled from my dick last oh yes there we go yes i
gushed from my dick hole oh dude kidneys i called my mom how painful i never want to call my mom
and talk about my dick but i did because i was like nervous well what would she know she what
does she she doesn't know what to do she was. She was like, it sounds like a kidney stone.
And I called my doctor and he's like, are you celiac?
And I was like, yeah.
And he was like, yeah, you have celiac.
It's kidney stones.
Oh.
Because like my diet's just been all nuts and meat.
Oh my God.
It was serrated as hell, dude.
Sucked.
It didn't break up into a cloudy discharge?
No.
Dang.
No, no, no.
But you didn't even know you had it at first, did you?
My back was hurting and my side. Yeah. So like I was like, no. But you didn't even know you had it at first, did you? My back was hurting
and my side, yeah.
So I was like,
I just thought I slept weird.
God damn.
Some people don't even pass that.
Yes, sometimes they stay them
or sometimes they just
kind of dissolve.
This guy stuck with me.
It sucked, dude.
But now I can go out and drink.
I can text you Nixie's...
I could be thirsty tonight.
Yeah.
You can.
He can hang.
I can hang now.
I've heard.
I've heard this. So, dude, I miss... Except for the one night i was there when you said that and then
same thing i was tired boys we are destroyed boys yeah but like 30 minutes had passed blacking out
with you is one of my favorite things because you black out is the funniest thing you'll go
to the girls and you'll be like if you come home with me there's one rule you're not allowed to
come more than three times that's your one rule that you tell them, dude.
You're just like,
if you do,
it's a turn off
if you come more than three times.
That's Sass's ground rule.
Rules are rules.
Everyone has their boundaries.
Everyone has their boundaries.
Like Jonah Hill.
You don't let the girl
come more than three times.
You have been coming
way too much.
It's not going to work.
That is how the dudes in high school
who started fucking before you would talk
and it would make you so much more insecure.
They would talk about how often
they give girls cums.
I actually
I'm afraid to
fuck now. Now I'm even more afraid.
That's what you're doing. I disagree. I don't even think I knew
girls could come until I was like 18.
No, I didn't. Good on you. I didn't good on you i didn't that was a lie i was probably i
was like probably out of i probably dropped out of college by then yeah by the time that i knew
that was even a possibility i don't know why i was convinced that dudes 17 year old dudes that
were fucking yeah were like expert fuckers yeah and i was always convinced that i had a tiny dick
yeah tiny dick can't fuck yeah that's what i
thought in high school there was a kid named dan rosa who had he was like telling us i don't i
think i even overheard the story but it made me so intimidated he was like talking about a sex tape
that he made where he was i think either fucking a girl or eating a girl out and he was like she
told him she was about to squirt and he like ran out of there like a like a bomb was about to drop he said he like bailed out and got the fuck that was that
was every junior in high school sex story so you're like fuck i wouldn't like it i remember
dude i walk away from squirts without looking like steph curry like the joker
the joker with the blown up
I remember
I do remember being in high school
or like not even high school
like middle school and there would be a girl
who like there was a rumor that she had had sex
like one time and everyone would be like dude I would
never tap that
her pussy is like throwing a hot dog
down a hallway
fuck her never tap that i would never yeah her pussy is like throwing a hot dog down a hallway yeah
you know what i'm saying fuck her
the loosest pussies were all 13
no it was literally it was like in your idea at that age it was like if a girl had had sex once
you're like dude she's fucking ran a girl could get fingered by one of my classmates yeah 12 and i'd be like yeah she's fucking
what would even be the point of fucking her you're not gonna feel anything
these guys also had like huge dicks oh yeah my boy marcus lost his virginia eighth grade and i
thought he was like the best at fucking yeah i'd imagine he wasn't a good as a boy at fucking now but they all have a little bit of a tinge of facial hair yeah you
know what i mean there's like a little green like shadow of facial hair yeah the kid's facial hair
is green it was like a little bit green it's fucking gross i was like gone unnoticed but they
all they all fuck the kids with the green facial hair are out there fucking.
The pitchers in the Little League World Series.
Yes.
Those guys probably do fuck better than most of us.
They do fuck better than me.
They're fucking like 35-year-old white women.
Those kids in the Little League World Series.
Danny Almonte and them.
Because girls love baseball players.
That's like top of the chain.
Those tight little pants.
Yeah. It's because they got those chain. Those tight little pants. Yeah.
It's because they got those cute little asses.
Doesn't matter.
The Knickerbockers.
High socks.
Yeah.
I feel like it should be the least attractive uniform in sports.
Baseball?
Yeah, it's hilarious.
You have the high socks.
Yeah.
There's like a belt.
Yeah.
The coaches have to wear the uniforms.
The coach wears the same thing.
That's hilarious.
And he's like 80.
Yeah.
He's like fat and 80. Just in case he's got to get on the diamond.
Also like pitchers doing
the leg kick.
That's like their intimidating photo.
That's what landed fucking Kate Upton.
Every single out...
That was the early 2010s
when cleat chasers had their wave.
Every single outfielder, there's a video of him just running into a wall.
Yeah.
Just smacking into a wall at full speed.
But they'll wear like a puka shell necklace and like a three quarter length t-shirt.
And girls are like, that's fucking hot.
Yeah.
Still is though.
They're still top dogs.
Yeah, they still are.
It's like, you don't want to marry that.
That's a long ass season.
Well, I heard that from other sports that they envy the baseball players with the groupie scene because every other sport is in a town and then they leave the next night.
Baseball players are there for three nights.
Yeah.
And they'll go.
They're like building strong, long relationships.
They should get in trouble more.
They should.
They can also probably party way harder because there's. doesn't matter it does not matter yeah no you could
be off of one hour of sleep and you would still play baseball at the highest level yeah
so i know like the average amount of action in a football game is like what three and a half
minutes like total if you were to cut out oh really i mean just play every play straight
through yeah it might be more than that that That sounds low. But what do you think, like,
one baseball player shortstop,
what's his average amount of action in the game?
Like 30 seconds.
Yeah.
Yeah.
30 seconds.
And all they have to do is...
Of, like, moving your body?
Hit a blooper over the third baseman
every four at-bats
to make millions of dollars.
And then they're in the most prime pussy
four nights a week.
Primetime pussy.
City.
8 p.m. pussy. Do M pussy. Do NBA players get kidney stones?
I haven't heard. Tyler?
Tyler?
They're dirty.
NBA players are specimens and the
majority of them don't have good diets.
They're like Greek gods cut from stone.
Obsidian.
Is that true? I don't know.
I don't know either, honestly.
I haven't eaten...
You guys know the ball scene a little more than we do.
They're 10 feet tall and have great
metabolism and they play sports every day.
They probably burn off that. Yeah, they need that.
They play so much sports.
When you go out to eat with Pat Bev, what's he order?
He's the type of rich guy who will order
eight appetizers. The waiter will come over talking about water out to eat with pat bev what's your order yeah he's the type of rich guy who will order like
eight appetizers like the waiter will come over like talking about water and he'll order all the
appetizers right away and then he'll probably order steaks or maybe like a fish sometimes i
don't know typical rich guy shit what's i need a cool phrase for ordering every appetizer
sweep the apps i'm pretty sure harry potter on the Hogwarts Express said, we'll take the lot.
We'll take the lot. He did say that.
Because he had all those galleons
and everything.
And then Ron has dirt on his nose.
He's like, what? I've never taken the lot
before. Yeah, that's what Pat Bev says as well.
We'll take the lot.
You guess the birdie fudge.
Their needs to be a British NBA star.
They really need one yeah
just blowing all his money on chocolate frogs
the harry potter jelly beans yeah birdie bots pat bevs this one's bogey
chocolate frog they bought i was trying to get that Dumbledore card.
Oh my God.
Take the lot is...
Pat Bev does sound like it could be a British name.
Patrick Beverly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Whoa.
Maybe like someone who orders a whole...
I'll take this page.
I'll give me the whole page.
A whole page. Ordering by the page. I'll take page four. I'll take this page I'll give me the whole page ordering by the page
I'll take page 4
that is
but I haven't eaten out with him enough
he likes to eat out a lot though
Tyler probably has eaten out with him more than I have
Tyler's in the fucking mix
yeah he's his right hand man
they say that Tyler
they'll be like Tyler Tyler plays like a semi-pro ball.
Yeah, he might as well.
Do they really say that?
Yes.
They'll be like, yeah, he balls too
because he's tall enough.
You know what I mean?
He has like the kind of quiet disposition.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Of a semi-pro baller.
Sorry.
There we go.
I said some bad things.
Really bad things.
I've been on my worst behavior today.
Worst?
Damn. Just ad-lib him? Yeah, worst. That was good. I've been on my worst behavior today. Worst? Damn, so what?
Just ad-lib him?
Yeah, worse.
That was good.
That's how we roll now.
A lot of things have changed
since you guys moved to Chicago.
We've gotten more New York.
We have more of like
amigos.
You've been out of New York
more than we have.
That is true, yeah.
He is.
He was out there
all last week
just rocking with you guys.
They took a picture
of him his first day in
and it was the most tired
a human's ever looked.
Yeah.
Well, I was also.
He looked like the Mexican alien.
Yeah, it was a bad.
He did look like Jeff Daniels.
Well, I was.
I mean, I had to go from Vegas to Portland, which was like just absolutely exhausting
going back and forth that much.
I mean, I guess you did that with fucking L.A.
Like four times in a week.
Yeah.
That was hilarious.
You got stuck in L.A.. Roan had to go to LA,
fly back, go the next week, fly back
for nothing. For a Zoom
meeting with Erica.
Who we work with
in the same office building.
Going to LA is a lot different than me flying across
the country though. Why? Because you fly across the country
and you're pretty much just laying in a more comfortable
version of your apartment. Roan rents an apartment i'm on the emirates
flight yeah of a indian woman coming to serve me in my room yeah it's fucking incredible no uh
that's not true at all it is it's definitely it's fully true yeah dude you when we flew to
the super bowl in la you came back to visit me and Kyle.
No, I wasn't.
You brought like an overnight bag to the back of the plane.
They gave me some extra pajamas if you guys want some.
They gave me like four sets of pajamas.
None of these are my size.
He loves to stumble back.
Yeah.
And just like gaze at the pores.
Or no, I'll like lean up.
It's like a zoo for you.
How are you guys making out back here?
I could tell you were holding your breath so you didn't have to smell us. Hey, I'll lean up. It's like a zoo for you. How are you guys making out back here? I can tell you were holding
your breath so you didn't have to smell us.
Hey, guys. Roan gets furious
when they don't put the curtain all the way up.
Why is there
no curtain? Why do I feel
like I can smell the poor people right now?
Next time you're on a flight, walk up and try to pee
in the first place. Roan will stop you
single-handedly. It'll be like Mark Wahlberg.
Yeah.
You have to go through me. I've done it. Ronan will stop you single-handedly. It'll be like Mark Wahlberg. Yeah. You have to go through me.
Choke slam him.
That was
going to be me on the day of jihad.
I was worried about it. I flew on day of jihad.
What was that?
The day of rage? Apparently
stuff happened.
It was the day of rage. Maybe if you want to do
some surprise terrorism, don't call the day day of jihad.
Yeah, that's what we were saying beforehand.
I said on Son of a Boy, I said that the day of jihad will go down as the worst day in
the history of jihad.
Yeah.
Like the ultimate failure.
It was too publicized.
So if like somebody was about to do it, they're like, it's their 9-11.
It is.
It's worse than 9-11.
It's their 9-11.
Dude, it's really.
Them not being able to terrorize.
It's exactly how Chris Daughtry
got eliminated on American Idol.
Everybody was like, he's so good.
Somebody else will vote for him. I'll vote for my second favorite.
So all the people that were planning on doing stuff
was like, oh, somebody else will do it. I'll do another day.
So our 9-11
is there every day.
Their 9-11 is when they
fail. We just had a good normal day.
So we're up on them.
I mean, after that...
Oh, no.
I mean, they failed massively.
It was an all-time
fail.
But this is going to be bulletin board.
This is going to be bulletin board for them.
Oh, yeah, they're going back to the board.
They're a poverty franchise.
No, but I'm saying that they're going to be putting this video them. Oh, yeah. They're going back to the board. Yeah, they're a poverty franchise. No, but I'm saying that they're going to see
they're going to be
putting this video up
and be like,
boy, come on.
They're frauds.
Frauds who have been exposed.
Damn, dude,
they might stop liking you.
Yeah, probably.
2-1 lead.
It's going to be 5-5
when we're adults.
The rubber match
is going to be a little...
The rubber match is...
We'll send our children.
They'll fight the rubber matches for us.
It is. Alright, shirts versus vests.
It's like that fucking
Drewski video where he's playing
the cop and he's listening to the rappers be like
I fucking shot the dude.
And then they're all just like, alright, well we got him.
It's like they're sitting in Times
Square being like, we're going to blow up fucking
the Empire State Building. And they're like, all right, well, you're not,
because now we know that you're going to do that.
Or even there was like a guy who like called for it, wasn't there?
Yeah, there was a dude in Times Square who was like going off,
being like, we're going to kill all these people.
He unscrewed his Elmo head.
Oh, man.
What if your Uber driver's like, hey, one quick stop?
That could happen.
Yeah.
Every time you get into the Uber, you're throwing that risk.
No, not just with fucking.
I just mean it is crazy that you're just getting into this random car.
They could just fucking take you rogue if they want to.
Or your Uber each is like, I'm going to be a minute.
Oh, yeah.
I've been really into looking at the fun facts of
uber drivers they're asked to put like their fun facts pretty funny yeah this one guy's fun fact
was steak that was my guy yesterday's fun fact was steak um we talked about it on the yak with
with our uber driver right in chicago oh yeah from rosemont he was like he was like
he moved to Chicago from
Syria and he was like
I served in the military for
two years and then jail
one and we were like what
and he was like jail one
and we were like what are you talking about he was like oh I went to jail
one year I shot
accidentally shot a man he ended up being
general
and I was like that can't be true
that cannot be right friendly fire or like friendly friendly fire shot the general of syria and i was
like dude i feel like in syria if you shoot the general they probably like peel your skin off
layer by layer yeah i don't think it's like he said he did nine months in syrian prison for
shooting the general.
I'm trying to find my Uber driver's fun fact that I had last.
It was.
Oh, here it was.
This was a Somali as his name and his fun fact was Fufu.
It's a fun fact.
That is a fun fact.
Yeah.
Why do they have what I didn't know?
No, that is a fun fact.
Fufu. What does fufu mean?
Fufu is an African dough.
Oh, okay.
Well, that's right up there with steak then.
Just your favorite food.
Fun fact.
Steak.
That is a great fun fact. Do you guys know steak?
I didn't realize that.
I was just reading.
I just read some crazy shit.
Steak.
Have you seen this one, babe?
I just read this crazy shit.
Steak.
Did you know steak?
That is fun.
Wow. Wow. That's crazy. I did not know about that. Oh is fun. Wow.
That's crazy. I did not know about that.
Oh, man. Yeah, Uber driver
profiles are like my new vice. Because I just heard
chicken recently.
Ripley's Believe It or Not.
I was just like, next up,
fish.
Yeah. Oh. Yeah.
Oh, man.
Anything else?
Truths and a lie.
Steak, chicken, fish, eggs.
You guess.
All right.
Two truths and a lie.
I got steak, chicken, and I didn't go to homecoming.
I've sucked off two guys at the same time.
Oh, it's steak.
It's steak.
You boys have anything to promote?
Son of a boy dad?
Son of a boy dad
two times a week.
Son of a boy dad, yeah.
Yeah, check it out.
Which this will be...
I don't know if we have
much of a crossover audience.
No, I don't think we have. Oh, no, if we have much of a crossover audience no I don't think we have
yeah
oh no I think we do
have a crossover audience
I was joking
it's a run
same thing
this
Anus the Yak
and Son of a Boy Dad
we just
it was the same thing
we're about to do it again
we're about to just
run it back again
and every time
we do like a
a boy's story
I'm just like
oh the numbers
are gonna be double
it's just the same guy
same dude same dude people enjoy it more but it's the exact same amount of listens yeah there's literally no
increase no no and it's probably the same exact guys yeah 100 respect love you guys
we're fireable sure like they could cut one of us one pair we're literally yeah we're a duplicate
all right yeah we're just thank you
guys we're the same dude with different ailments yeah wow yeah which one of us is sass you
i'm sass with uh you're sass with a bloody ear and fucking uh the the body that he talks about
truth yeah body yada yada yada yada yada thank you guys