A New Untold Story - Very Expensive Tray - A New Untold Story: Ep. 3

Episode Date: January 16, 2025

Brandon Walker joins the pod to chip in with the boys and purchase a very expensive tray. Ads: Gametime - Download the Gametime app today and use code UNTOLD to easily score great deals with Gametime Picks! Rocket Money - Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money at https://RocketMoney.com/untold today. Factor - Get started at https://FACTORMEALS.com/kb50off and use code kb50off to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping. Draft Kings - Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code UNTOLD. GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, [phone] or visit gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit ccpg.org (CT), or visit www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD). 21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min. $5 bet. Max. $200 issued as non-withdrawable Bonus Bets that expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: dkng.co/dk-offer-terms. Ends 2/9/25 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, a new untold story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcast, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad free on Amazon Music. I would know. Hi, Nick. Yes, it's just one to me, though. You mean you're going to reply to what I'm going to say? No, you're just going to say, no, that's a new one. So hey, is that story over told? No, baby.

It's a new untold story! A new untold story It's a fresh-baked untold story A new untold story All right, welcome back to a new untold story episode. Let's go back to the normal number. It's episode three. Oh, okay. All right.

Three. This is in the midst of bonus week. I hope everybody's been enjoying. It's been fun for us. Some of the most fun I've had doing the show. I know. Thank you guys for tuning into all of the most fun I've had doing the show. I know. Thank you guys for tuning in to all that.

We're here with Brandon Walker. Hello. I think you guys know what we're gonna talk about today. Pussy. Three, District Three is kind of the forgotten district. Is this New Plattson? Yeah. We haven't done much New Plattson since.

No, yeah, this is good. People are probably. If District One is the heart of New Plattson yeah we've done much new Plattson's no yeah this is good people are probably if district one is the heart of new Plattson and district two is the soul of new Plattson then district three is the liver of new Plattson oh they booze I know so they get out all the toxins no they process fats I don't want to say they incarcerate fat people but if you reach a certain BMI you are sent to a government mandated Detoxification Center, that's a that's that's sending that's a concentration camp But it has a 100% approval rate the fat people are fine going there, and it looks like a liver on the coastal region What's the be a better seen a healthy liver? It's a beautiful

silky deep purple You like the color it? What's the be in your mind? If you've ever seen a healthy liver, it's a beautiful, silky, deep purple. You like the color liver? It's a sight to behold. It's gorgeous. Mook, can you pull up the color liver? It's kind of a liver covered shirt. A healthy liver. Is it a liver color? Is it a deep pink? A brilliant burnt umber.

You probably have eaten a lot of liver. I've eaten some, not a whole lot. Is that plum colored? That's beautiful. No. You think that's a, is liver your favorite color? So the coastal region is lined with Dahlia flowers, Arabian nighting species,

and it's like a nice purple along the coast. If you go more inland, it's- Wait, why is this a forgotten district? Sounds amazing. They produce the worst's athlete yeah? Go more inland and that's like the rotten foie gras of the state is Dry wolf is not appealing it's the armpit of the oh yeah dry wolf is just it's not even next to anything Is that where what's like is there other poor people?

Yeah along in Beach City all the poor people from Eisenhower go to Beach City, but that's it on district 3 Any famous people from district 3? Cam Turner he was a state finalist in 2015 What level of fame is that if you're a 2015 state finalist? If you're a silver medalist at the state tournament. High school. Level? B list. Like he gets recognized everywhere he goes. Can't show his face. Like people scream. Yeah, well they ask for pictures with the state finalist. Yeah. For 2015. So he has the fame of like a game show host yeah yeah is that be list you I

think be list to me is like Luke Wilson I don't know like Seth Rogen Oh CB he's a list to me he's got maybe it's just my nostalgia sure he was peaked during my era but um okay that's okay we got three out of the way. Brandon, your top three number three wearers, Jersey-wise. Babe Ruth obviously being number one, Dale Earnhardt too. No, no, no, NASCAR. He didn't wear it. Unless he hit the real war. He definitely wore it. Jersey. It was melded to him. Babe Ruth definitely being one. Okay, we'll go Allen Iverson too.

Wow, you're just chalk chalk Now go down Murphy three then I'll go I'll go historic and I'll go my my own childhood Dale Murphy Mormon Oh, wow. Yeah, very faithful to his wife babe over a rod babe over a rod for sure. I thought you liked fishing a lot more Than your wife. You're always taking a rod over your babe. And then you get your D-Wade on an industrial scale. Dude, that was a Brad Paisley ass joke. It was either that or... I'm gonna miss her.

Oh, babe over a rod? Dude, I thought you loved fishing. I guess you like women more. Give me AI babe and A-Rod. That's the perfect day on the lake. Yeah, you got your AI babe in your ear. Scarlett Johansson's voice. Oh my God. What else we got? Girlfriend in your ear Scarlett Johansson's voice. Oh my god I'm trying to think of some more babe

And Wallace yeah stacked number it's yeah chance the rapper. Oh, yeah, he wears three No, I don't know him Dale Murphy. He could be anyone. I just told you who he was. Oh, yeah, you said Kyle was just prepping for the okay there's some good Koskowski is 21 that's my yeah Mississippi yeah no way oh yeah yeah for Madison Central I a leaf Steve Francis Those Jewish shoes. Yeah, we've been we were trying to buy them for the group. They're called Yeah, they're called air Maccabees, but now they're in all our ads. We're trying to get a pair of high-top Maccabees We said it's like like Mike if you put them on you become bow Wow's agent as a kid Yeah, what rhymes with Mike? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, like. That's what it would be called. Oh my god. Yeah, we should all, should we all get the mac? They're kind of sick. Kind of being the operative word. Nobody's ever done anything athletic in those. I don't know if this is against their religion,

but if you rounded the corners on the Star of David, it would look a little bit swaggier. Yeah, I agree. The Star of David's too damn sharp. It's too sharp. Can you search dull Star of David? Yeah, they need, I think like, The PR.

Yeah, rounded Star of David maybe? Ooh, that looks like a Bam Margera heart a little bit better. Yeah, I think it looks a lot worse You think so looks like it's just a random internet company logo. I think that looks like looks like an atom or like Yeah, it looks space like Yeah, maybe we should we should pitch that to who the Jews. Yeah the people Listen, you guys need a revamp. Yeah, we'll be like Steve jobs like us. I'm really excited. Are we doing it? The Jews are rebranded how much are the Maccabees? 126 that's really fucking expensive we can haggle no

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So this part of bonus week, or is this a real episode? Oh, it's the regular one Yeah, this ain't bonus is the real deal. I'm a guy's you're not allowed to skip it What else we got going on? We have Brandon on for for baseball baseball a little bit more baseball Uh-huh, but Kyle and I each have how many baseball players do you I've got I've got a couple I got three baseball players, and then I have a random Non white person. I think that's how we should do the three the three types. Yeah Non-white person. I think that's how we should do it three three types. Yeah

Two types You're the one who added that for no reason well I found a really cool non baseball player who happens to not be white so I was like let's add in a there's got to Be plenty of those yeah, it was easy. Okay. Yeah, it was so hard to find a base a fourth baseball player I was like I'm gonna add just a non white all. All the Wikipedia's I see are like very interesting, but they're getting a little bit redundant. I'm sure I haven't found even close to all of the fun ones. Like everyone says Rube Waddell, like he's by far the most interesting.

He was the autist. But I feel like he's been covered extensively. Yeah. He chased fire trucks and shit. Yeah. I have Joe Relaford. Brandon, you ever heard of Joe Relaford, DH? I kinda have, but I can't tell you anything about him.

He went pro at 12. You've heard of him? I've heard the name, yeah. Yeah, he went pro at 12. That boy barrels his way into the Hall of Fame. Oh, he's in the Hall of Fame? Of course. You just, if you played baseball back then, you made the Hall of Fame. But they were down 13-0, so they just put the bad boy and he was officially the youngest

Ever pro baseball player and he also broke the color barrier in Georgia at the same time as being a 12 Black took precedent over 12 back then wait a black guy over 12 back then. Wait, a black guy? That's a tot. That's... And then I think he made contact, which is crazy. So the crowd literally said, put in

the Batboy, and the manager's like, alright, I'll just put in the Batboy. And then he rounded out. He's in the minor leagues, alright, at Fitzgerald Pioneers. Yeah, have you ever been to Fitzgerald, Georgia? No, I don't even know where it is is that probably south of its south of the Macon this Dixon Macon Dixon I think that's a thing they say no shit Yeah, I don't know anything

There's nothing in that part of Georgia The 12 year old pro baseball player who broke the color barrier. Yeah He was that people were so racist. They forgot he was 12. Yeah, that's serious shit He also broke that least color barrier five years after the major league baseball broke at the color barrier. Yeah Not yet five years wait for the right kind of player that's it. That's the reverse Danny Almonte How so? For those that don't know. Danny Almonte was like the the much older boy who posed as a 12 year old Little League star Did he look young? Not really. In the face he did but he was tall as hell. And they won the championship

For like the Brooklyn team or the Dominican Republic So how old it was Bronx say he acted as 12 how old was he actually? He was 14 which is crazy in that when you're that young. That's a that's a big gap. I'm gonna take the opposite stance Was he intentionally lying or was his birth certificate like we don't know how old this guy is we don't know if he was in on it And what was the the the result? Was he dominant like that? Oh, yeah, was he more dominant than the chick? Oh, wait, wait, not even close Yeah, the whole world watching. Yeah Really was appointment television when he took them out. He's surrounded by Maccabees

God he's surrounded by Maccabees. She's the reproducing Orange County, New York Curious the oil over Every time we reload there's well, no shit. There's another Maccabee Are those the hydradals? Brando you want a pair? Yeah, I'll take a pair. Okay. I think we have to buy them. Are they only in two colors? Yeah, I think so. What's blue and pink? Boy and girl. Yeah. I have low tops as well I brought a baseball

player what do you got I don't know what you guys are doing you're doing you're like all-time team or something no we were thinking about it but like we don't know shit there's like so many things we don't know yeah I'm anything I'm like scratching for anything at this point I brought Ed Ed De La Hanty Ed De La Hanty yeah an Italian he was one of the best players in the league for the Phillies he's crossed my path but I forget what he did yeah? He was one of the best players in the league for the Phillies. He's crossed my path, but I forget what he did. Yeah, so he was he led the league in home runs. He led the league in average.

He was the best player in the league. He was incredible. And in 1903, they're they're taking the train. I think they're around Buffalo. Well, I know they're around Buffalo. And slow this down. Yeah, I'm seeing he died in Niagara Falls, Ontario. That is correct. That's not good. Yeah Young at 35. Yeah, so they're uh, they're on the train

He he drinks five whiskeys and starts threatening all the passengers with a knife to scalp them and the conductor kicks him off the train Wait to scalp them. Yeah, that's what he said. So I'm going to scalp you and so like buy them for cheap. So the conductor kicks him off the train. Imagine if there were actual scalpers outside of Madison square garden. Like, Oh fuck, this sucks. Who do you mean? They're scalping. I'm not going there. I don't want to go there. I don't want to see chapel. I'm not going there. I don't want to go there. I don't want to see Chapel Road anymore. And he got kicked off the train. He got off right there by Niagara Falls and he fell to

his death and they found him a week later wearing nothing. At the bottom of the falls, he was dead. His dead body was wearing nothing but a necktie, his socks and his shoes. Did the clothes come off in the fall? No, nobody really knows. Or did he go for a swim It's all mysterious. Oh, it's a straight razor. It was a straight razor not a knife He was brandishing a straight razor razor and threatening passengers after five whiskies So either fell to his death or jumped to his death

But he certainly he fell off Niagara Falls happened to get thrown off a train right by Niagara Falls The worst case scenario fell to his death.. You gotta get off the train now. Oh no. That is insane. That seems like the- Coincidentally where he was. Conductors should have a little discretion there, right? Yeah, you're hammer drunk.

Let's get past the giant cliff. But he was also like a superstar? Oh, he was the best player, yeah. The last known photo is so- His last known photo is scary. That's barely a known photo. Yeah, that's not a known. That's the last unknown photo.

So compare him to like a star of today. Yeah, who's that dying? Oh my god, that's Mike Trout. Oh, it might be Trout. Older, he was towards the end of his career. It's Joey Votto dying in Cincinnati in like 2018 but like we asked for today Grand Canyon. Yeah They have a game in phoenix. They're leaving and they throw him

They find him they can make it with a tie over the grand canyon. Yeah, maybe even more famous than joey vato. Maybe uh, Maybe a paul goldschmidt I think vato's more significantly less famous than joey vato. Oh, no paul Goldschmidt. I think Votto's more famous. Definitely less famous than Joey Votto. Oh no, Paul Goldschmidt. Interesting. Did people mourn? Like, were they upset or was he an asshole? I don't think they mourn when people died at 35.

No, I think that was like, oh, he. I mean, literally, the train just kept going. Yeah. What year was this? 1903. 35 was a huge success. Yeah, huge. And 1903 is really kind of the first year modern baseball

So they didn't even know who their stars were yet. They were just kind of making it up as they go Oh people are saying robbery murder. It's a serious man. That might be where his clothes went. Yeah Just keep the tie and a slap in the face and my second player I brought one but my second player is Eddie You brought two Ed's I brought one but my second player is Eddie You brought two ads I brought two ads Fuck I have to look Eddie why shot white do you remember what it was? No, I told you last night who it was what you say white. I don't know Eddie something Hold on kiss. All right, Eddie white kiss. Yes, Eddie white kiss, you know white kiss. I don't wait

Then how'd you guess white kiss? I saw it don't wait then how'd you guess Weikus? I saw it with my well, how'd you guess it? My eye contacts Suggested search. Okay, Eddie Weikus played in another Philly. Yeah, I played I was reading a book about the Phillies Ah, okay So he was he played in the late 40s early 50s Right and he played for the Cubs for a while and to where a young woman was going to the games every day, a 19 year old woman, uh, believe the name Ruthann Steinhagen or something like that. And she was taken with him and fell in love with him and got, uh, and started to stalk him. And one day he, he visited Chicago after the Phillies came back when he had moved to the Phillies. The Phillies came to Chicago, played at Wrigley Field.

She got a room in the Phillies hotel, put a message in, because back then you used to leave it at the front desk, right? Left a message saying this pretty young woman says, and it says, please come to my room, I need to see you urgently. He went up there and she opened the door and she said, I have something to show you.

And he thought it was the puss? And he thought it was the puss or some titties or something and she took out a rifle and shot him in the chest. Oh my gosh. But then, I don't get this, it says, then she called the desk to report a shooting and she was cradling his head. Was she trying to like?

She loved him. She said, if I can't have you, nobody can have you. Oh, cliche. And she had his head in her. Wait, she never stood trial? Now wait, this is the interesting part. This woman did two years, was never arrested for this crime, did two years in a mental institution,

at which point in 1952 they said, you're fine, you're good. She then lived the next 70 years in Chicago as a single woman. Just a full life. Just a full life. She never stood trial For for shooting this man in the chest. Do you think he fucked her? No, I don't know I don't think that they're getting getting somebody that obsessed without laying it down. He went up there I think he thought he was getting some pussy Yeah, but he were dudes getting pussy like was sex that like was that still happening or like dudes just going around

Like were they pussy hounds? I think they were yeah, I think it was like more so than today. No way I think it was easier then than now the brothel area era Okay, I like women like that were like I think they were hanging around in hotels waiting for these ballplayers to get there Okay, but were ballplayers like rich back then Not rich like they are now, but they were more known. But she never went to like actual jail. She never actually served time. Never did not get arrested because he didn't want to press charges. He just wanted to forget it. But then she were different back then too. She outlived him. She lived

2012. Yeah. She lived a long time. I don't know when he died. Getting away with murder back then was easier than making the hall of Fame of it was probably is about the stuff the same Yeah, oh my god, he was alive in like 2012. He saw shit Chicago She lived out her days in the city wonder who she voted for Obama's Yeah, find out let's cancel her yeah wait could she vote She's not a felon. She did a mental institution, so I guess she kept her voting rights yeah it's great like there are some you'll see some people like they vote where's Albany Park in Chicago I don't know so on Wikipedia everyone is

from Chicago yeah I've noticed that or at least lived there mm-hmm I've noticed that yeah except for the people who are from like the West Coast or the East Coast or the South she was called south. She was called Baseball's Biggest Headache. Wait, there's a book called Baseball's Biggest Headache, Dames, that, Brandon, you gotta read it. I gotta get Baseball's Biggest Headache, Dames. Are you buying it right now? Yeah, I'm gonna find it.

Please, oh my god. Baseball's Biggest Headache, Dames. It's just about the dames of baseball. There's no way that's in print and you can actually find it anywhere. Humans weren't, with my taste, good looking back then. Not to me, I think that's just natural evolution. I wanna know the first chick I would be attracted to.

I wonder what year. I mean Marilyn Monroe was back then, I feel like that. I don't think she does it for me. She introduced the bustier though. She introduced whore. But there are some absolutely drop dead gorgeous actresses from that day. We looked at one on this show recently That was super the woman that I mean what the ones that she the woman that invented Wi-Fi that chick was

Heady Lamar. Yeah, she was hot. She was she was timeless beauty. She was like hot didn't exist until yeah. Yeah Yeah, she give me gimme. Yeah, she was she was og hot. Yeah oldest hot I've seen Well, yeah, but she was also actress to spy and invented Wi-Fi So she was like I think that's what it actually turns me on her brain No, I think it's her I think it's her incredibly hot fuck. Yeah, she yeah Look up hottest woman from the 20s people weren't getting head back then right baseball players weren't getting sucked for them No, I think it like waxes. There was like a big gap It was like Egyptians were sucking Greeks and Romans were sucking power gap

Yeah, maybe once or twice during Crusades, but then I think it fell off 70s 80s 60s started sucking again Yeah, for sure. I gotta look into this wasn't my nasty in the 60s. Everybody was nasty 60 because the 50s were so repressive Yeah, yeah, I feel like the the that chick on the rise is fucking hot means era. They weren't really doing much Yeah, yeah face yeah Yeah, kind of her face though that haircut no girls ever look at with that middle part Quaker haircut fair enough on that Yeah, her though It was hard with the like torpedo booby era yeah, yeah, I Never really understood that all right well. I didn't mean to derail the show my base. Yeah. I never really understood that.

All right, well I didn't mean to derail the show with my baseball. No, no, I'm interested in the Dames. Yeah, me too. I gotta find baseball's biggest headache, Dames. So, were they calling whores headaches? Yeah, she's a real headache, see? This dame's a real headache.

She shot a man in the heart. Mm-hmm. Yeah, she's a killer, she's a murderer. Yeah. But what a great era. killer. She's a murderer Yeah, but what a great era a man could write a book saying the biggest pain in the fucking ass dames Yeah, yeah, everybody would agree. Yeah And then I mean these women were essentially speed bags to these men Yeah, it's like one one cup of whiskey and then it's just my God three cups your scalp. Yeah, like she's treating her head like a DDR mat. It's no

bueno. He's doing a Kyrie Irving warm up. So that's why like it's tough to feel sympathy. It's tough to feel sympathy. It's tough to feel sympathy. You know what's gonna suck is in a hundred years are people gonna look back at Wikipedia's of baseball players right now? Is there any of this stuff happening now? Yeah, I think about that. Like what of the modern era will be perceived

as out of this world, bizarre? The A-Rod shitting picture. And then the Jeter dates who he's dated We do like on a regular basis that will never be done. I love the a rush I think I think that if they did your Wikipedia Like hypothetically like people will look back and like one of the things in the beginning will be like the boy couldn't burp Yeah, and that would be something right that'll be like a that's a really good point. I'll be like oh my god What's wrong? What an ailment he had to come up like they'll look at that like an iron law and like you would be like an

Illiterate dyslexic that speaks for a living yeah, that's crazy That's a dickless porn star He showed like a men's bravery. He was a headstrong lad. He never gave up a real tale of resilience. The dames gave him the itch all the time, you see. He broke his leg playing golf simulator on his iPhone. Yeah there it is technology. Yeah, yeah, so I think it's easy to like spin it Yeah, yes a hundred percent. I don't really I struggled a little bit with baseball, but I have Willie Keister, which is his penis butt Keister Bill Keister funny one for a good Bill Keister he went by Bill because of you know

He had 98 errors in one year And then just like the meanest shot so like the first paragraph of Wikipedia is all about Just like your real rundown your summary. Yeah, but that last sentence is really funny in the first paragraph In the five full seasons that he played each of the teams that Keister played for finished last in the league for double plays. All right. Just such an unnecessary back toy. That's not first and Eric Rapportley.

But yeah, he was just an error machine. We had 98 errors. But my favorite guy I have, Brandon, you know, who was an ugly dick shot. Who's anly Dickshot? He was a Pittsburgh Potter for a little bit. They were real straightforward with the nicknames back then.

Yeah, he was called Ugly because I think he got hit by a bottle and had a metal plate in his face, but his name's Ugly Dickshot. And I was reading, because Dickshot isn't a name. His real name was Johnny Dickshot? Johnny Dickshot, but he went by ugly. But like, the thing is, his dad has to be the biggest pussy in the world Because scroll down of how he got the dick shots not a common last name his dad's name was dick sus

But they were German and Lithuanian when his dad Moved here they were like all right your dick shot, and he didn't say a word So the whole family just became the dick shots, but they accepted it accepted dick. Yeah, the foreman accepted dick sus might be Another one any clerical error miss speaking they change your name in a fucking heartbeat. Yep. Oh, yeah My last name is an error, and I don't know what it used to be What could it have been it goes back? I can trace my ancestry to my grandpa. Yeah DZ you NDA on an Ellis Island. They were like

Yeah, you bringing that D shit What the fuck no shot dude, well a lot of DZ's got through there's some DZ's it got through right not us Real stickler at Ellis Island, I guess you've always had trouble with nevermind Yeah, this guy is like I think he's a Hall of Famer is dick shot a Hall of Famer Johnny dick shot You've never I was trying where is he from? Everybody back that was from Chicago. Oh no, he actually sucked. Seven home runs. Ugly dick shot, that's the one where like,

wait, you take it from the bottom. I thought he played in like 1902, this motherfucker played in 1945. Yeah, so I found his jersey on like bestdartyjerseys.com Yeah, that'll play. And I almost bought myself a dick shot. I found his jersey on like best darty jerseys calm And I almost bought myself a dick shot a pirate dick shot, but our giant dick shot white socks dick shot

Yeah, you do your dick shots in white socks That's where I do the majority of mine brave dick shot my ugly ass dick shots During his youth yeah, he had a metal plate in his head dick shot was fighting from behind one yeah his skull was fractured by older children throwing bottles in his backyard this family was bullied from the start yeah just like welcome to America you're the dick shots that's a nice way to word it it sounds like he got hit by the bottle. Yeah, they blamed him. He lost consciousness for three days.

Oh my God, they hit him hard. Doctors inserted a metal plate in his hand. And I think he chose the name Ugly. He's like, yeah, I'm the ugliest man in baseball. That's what I've read about it. Scroll down a little bit. Yeah, interesting cat. Are you familiar with George Fatty Hackett?

I'm not familiar with Hackett. I just came across him, just real quick. He's just known as the fattest player in baseball, but the only record of him is just this one black and white photo. He played for the Citizens, which I can't find any additional information. His fatness. He has like the upper body of a little boy and it's all bottom half. Yes. He dudes like, like he's progressively fat.

It gets weirder. I don't know what his stats were. He's like, he's just one picture. That's all we got. Standing fatly, holding the baseball bat wrongly. And that's all we have on him. I don't know who the citizens are, I don't know if that's a pro team or a fake team, but he ended up joining the circus. As like a fat man?

As a fat man, and he got up to six. That was like a really good career path. His job was to just sit in a chair. Was he circus man? Kyle, that's Barstool Sport. Wait, they hired him just because he was fat and all he had to do was sit in a chair? Can you fucking believe that? Could you imagine if we did that today? Yeah, you're 100% right. What are we going to do with this fat guy? I don't know put him in a chair look up fatty hack it circus Fuck so in the circus he was known as the stage name, baby. Jack, baby. Jack

He got up to 640 pounds for work 290 kilograms. That's for the buffs What are what what a unit of measurement I use for very fat people how many shy of the buffs are It makes sense yeah that really puts things into perspective for the buffs I don't even feel like that many little buff, but look at what he died at Under 150 pounds. Oh god. Did they just not find him for a long time. I don't know yeah that could just be sad 640 went down to 150 that is a that's a crazy tail But his fat is distributed weirdly. Yeah It's almost stacked. He doesn't have the belly of the beast. It's all neck and it's all ankle. He's always got the fat his ankles How'd he die at 105?

150 Yeah, that could be horrific. What was his height? He looks short How'd he die at 105? once 150 Yeah, that could be horrific. What was his height? He looks short. That's what I'm saying. He doesn't look 450 pounds It's impossible to judge with that weight Baby Jack That's there's nothing about him Batman baby Jack freak sideshow didn't even get main stage again, I'm not sure he's fat enough to be real sideshow. That's not even like for that fat. Back then. It's not that fat. Back then though, like. Yeah, but we had some fucking freaks.

Yeah, yeah. The circus freaks back then were real deal freaks. Vomit inducing. But yeah, I mean 650s fat as fuck. Imagine going and interviewing for a circus sideshow job and just not quite getting just not not even getting a Callback or making the second round with suck. Yeah, I mean you're ugly but You're not big state. Oh god. Yeah, you're not built for this That Was climber I don't yeah a lot of these again this I still this is where we work. Yes like it is He's a crab boy

That's crab boy Can't you see But like what did you do at these shows that's what I'm saying like oh wow look at that. That's pretty sad Wait Nick his name is actually lobster boy. Okay. I must have mistaken. That's my Brooklyn bowling alley Oh God My god, I know the circus wasn't something like oh, we're gonna go the circus came to you

And then that was just something you did because you didn't have any Form of entertainment you lived probably in a very rural remote area with nothing to look at ever Yeah, or technology so looking at anything would be sick Yeah, who looking at shit general Tom? Showed up at your in your town It's in the street look out of stairs there's scalpers As a hero was that a grown man, that's a woman for like it the four-legged lady Myrtle Corbin ugly must see

Good God Wang the human unicorn I mean, that's a hat right. I think no. I think it's probably Growth where was the pussy never actually performed? He's from a cheerio Ambitious banker he was found. What was the what was the ambition of the banker if that's what he found I mean if you look like that any any other career is ambitious Lionel the lion is don't like that Isaac's sprog the living skeleton oh Camel girl yeah the works The original Siamese twins mm-hmm

Okay, I'm the most recent Siamese twins. Okay, I asked. One of the most recent Siamese twins, one of them was gay, but not the other. One of the newer releases. Is this like a once a year type deal? What do you mean? How often are they coming about? Yeah, I don't know.

I think it's a Haley's Comet kind of thing. Was it one dick? One, I don't know. Search gay Siamese, yeah. That's a no there was a gay there was a set of one of one was gay doesn't matter But I think they had one ass. I think you both have to agree don't you? Huh one for me one for you is that you're saying I don't know I think if you're a Gay sign a half gay simies twin

You almost have to only give it that's got to be a really weird coming out like I got bad news That's gonna be that yeah the hardest Tell the guy you're attached to you're about to be getting your shared ass fuck That's one of the hardest things a man can do. Like, okay, I got my parents out of the way, now I gotta tell the guy I share a hole with. All right, listen man, I'm, or we're, we're gay? You're gay. Kind of.

I'm not gay. Yeah, you are you just got fucked Yeah, yeah, that's a god that's got to be brutal that's a tough one um I don't this is my non baseball player I Got Eric the eel What you guys know about Eric? You'll never heard of him. Oh my god. He's a man, Equatorial, Guinea. Oh a fascinating country Yes, so he There was this thing in the 2000s Olympics where they would pull from a hat Countries that weren't quite developed and they could compete in specific sports 2012

2000 I'm sorry, okay, so 2000 he got chosen for swimming Okay, and his first heat he's never seen an Olympic sized pool. His first heat was against two other people and he won because the other two false started. But his time of his 100 freestyle was a minute 52. The guy who won that year did it in 42 seconds. Oh my God. So we made like the finals or the semifinal. He won his heat, went to the Olympics and now he's the national swimming coach of Guinea Equatorial Guinea Wow, and so there's a lot of other people like this that got into the Olympics on like technicalities

That is that like horrible for any level. I think I don't know I don't know much about swimming, but I'd imagine it could be in high school. I think yeah. Yeah. Yeah like an 130 or faster yeah so not horrible but then there was the woman from that country who didn't even finish but still like she had to stop it I don't think she could actually swim she could she stopped they had to go get her I don't think he knew how to swim into like eight months before the Olympics is what it said I would like to see an Olympic event exclusively of people who can't swim. That'd be amazing. Yeah, that would be, that's, that's, that's, that's,

that's bad. That's called a community pool. It's a blast. Yeah. But I thought I want, I need a movie made about him I think Equatorial Guinea speaks only Spanish speaking country in Africa. Oh, their capital is on an island not on the mainland Whoa? ethnic groups 85% fang 6% booby That's a sexy man or sex It's all thing no booby big hardly any booby that's like a vampire that's a sexy vampire. That's the worst sex. It's all fang. It's all fang no booby. Hardly any booby. It's all sharp ass dude. It's all fang no booby.

Alright raise my hand if you guys like eating. Yeah again it's like the best thing that we do on a regular It's what makes you human it is as an adult choosing your meal. It's the greatest part of adulthood Mm-hmm. I wake up and I think about what's for dinner and I like it even more now because I have factor Mmm, and we're in an era of innovation where you can get 10 out of 10 taste That's healthy Who would have ever thought we'd see the day? Who would have ever thought that's what Factor has? And healthy. It's fresh, fully prepared,

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But the diet, the body's made in the kitchen, Kyle. Yeah, no, that's so true. Your diet is so important. It's way more important than what you do in the gym. And trust me, Factor is all good. It's way more important than what you do in the gym. And trust me, Factor is all good. It's all tasty. And if it's not, there's many other options. All right.

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All set. I didn't know where all the boobies at. I just mostly fang I'm there still a lot of booby I got into duels Like actual duals like I just looking into the duals. Yeah, because like I was looking at January 16th. There was a duel This dude George Villiers who was the Duke of Buckingham

He just like dueled some guy stabbed him to death Over a girl was stabbing dual stabbing dual. Yeah, that's not that's a little that's just a knife. That's a knife fight That's oh, yeah. Well, just you wait. So then I was like, I would rather be shot than stabbed Easily one bit. I was talking to this about was this someone the other day about this I was like I'd rather be shot. I think I would rather be hit by a car than a bike Bicycle I like going really fast. I don't know about that. I think if it was 20 miles an hour I'd rather be hit by a car than a bike. I Got to test it. I don't think I go hurt worse

Material bike seems like it's going so fucking fast The 20 mile an hour car doesn't feel like it's going fast, but they are going the same speed There's no real way like there's a there's a script out I feel like for getting hit by a car you just like go up and you can't roll over the but a bike There's no script. Yeah, but if you get hit by the bike, they're so narrow. It's kind of your fault Yeah, but I feel like you would false like people like oh he felt weird Like if you get hit by a bike like there's no cool way to get split in half Like if I told you guys I get hit by a car you'd be like holy shit. Are you okay?

I told you guys got hit by a bike. It's kind of pathetic you guys would laugh so hard. Yeah, dude evoke no sympathy But I think it would feel pain wise comparable it could it could yeah depends on the car I'm thinking what I would say if you got hit by a car How much wine have you had wine? Yeah? Oh you can't way I? I'm drinking wine. I just feel like that's not out on the streets. No, but then I was looking into other duels There there's this duel in France, so you could just challenge. It was a legal way to murder Well sometimes that didn't make sense because I was looking into them and sometimes they would charge people After the duel and then other times it was like yeah, you just do all this is the way it goes

There were some pretty famous people killed by duals. Yeah, there were Aaron Burr. Mm-hmm. Yeah, Jesse James The big Cowboys was killed in a duel really I think Billy the kid Well like the Western dudes. I think a lot of them probably were but there was a French duel where Typical they were they were both dating the same chick and yeah like we got a fight to the death That or like French would just there the threesome OGS they are they also the dual OGS apparentlys. They are, they're also the dual OGs apparently.

France? Yeah, apparently they were early adopters, they loved to duel. I mean these other two guys dueled because one guy said his hat looked stupid and they're like, oh, we gotta fucking duel. Fair, fair. So, fair.

I would rather fight over the hat than the chick. It was two dudes in the Napoleon army and one French guy was like, your hat is dumb. And he slapped him. Everybody's hat was dumb back then though. Truly dumb. And then hat was dumb back then, though. Truly dumb. And then they fought, and then they could, the one guy disarmed him four times,

and the guy was like, ah, I didn't lose. And he also was a kid, he was like, I don't know how to use weapons, like, all right, let's make this fair. So they tied their hands together, put them in a carriage, had the carriage through two laps, and they were in the back seat, and they just stabbed each other there

repeatedly while their hands were tied together. Stabbed each other. Did they both die? They were like, yep. One did die, very much so, and then the other one barely lived. But the funniest one was these two guys that were beefing over this chick. They did a duel and then they decided that they wanted to up the stakes so they just said, we should duel in hot air balloons.

Oh, fuck. Why would you even aim for the person? That's taking it to the next level skyrocketing the stakes You know what this is that this isn't risky enough for me Duel of 18 oh What the fuck it was literally jackass yeah, that is a jackass All right, we're gonna send Preston and we man The funniest thing is they're like all right, but we need the same balloon to make it fair So they spent an entire month making the exact same balloon. Oh, they were in

They didn't they really hard to even they had guns Do you don't want to see Jack as recreate that and like the cameraman with the bangs all still pukes But they use guns, but it wasn't at the time called a gun. The gun they used was called a blunderbuss. Oh yeah, of course. They were not very accurate. So they spent the month making them. They go up and... What? They had to make their own guns? Well, no, they made the balloons. So they were equal. They were equal.

And then both of them had to convince a buddy like, yo, you gotta pilot this thing. In the months it took to do the balloons. They didn't cool off at all They still had that much imagine disagreeing over something months ago, it's still being mad same amount of mad Well the girl was it was a dancer at the opera. Oh probably a good piece of ass. Yeah, so um I'm gonna think fat. Yeah, I always picture operas fat picture Oprah Which Which is? Could be anything.

Fat. And she's from? Chicago. Everybody man. Wait, so how did the duel end? They went, so they started the duel, they both went a half a mile into the air. Jesus fucking Christ. That's fucking up there.

That's windy as shit. How did how did the duel end they went so they started the duel they both went a half a mile into the air I don't know how they like decided to start or if they like yelled to each other But it's it's the two guys dueling and then each of them have a friend that is piloting it So the fly would I I love you guys wouldn't pilot your balloon Technology behind the hot air balloon at the time apparently good enough to get half a mile away So they were shooting each other yes, and there was a pilot. He was like. I'm not part of this Not it yeah, I don't care about the opera girl. Yeah What the fuck, man?

Yeah, it must have been easy for him to dodge bullets in that four foot basket. You were a guardian cow. These guys had to have hated each other. Why wouldn't you just shoot the balloon? That's what their goal was. Wait, that looks like it hit the guy. So how did it end? You could just shoot the balloon.

So the first guy shoots, just misses the balloon, which seems unbelievable, because those are humongous. And then the second guy just shoots the balloon, and they just fell onto a house and died. Probably killing the people in the house, too. Yeah. Wait, so the guy that drove the balloon really was signing up to die.

It was suicide. They both died. Yeah. That's a level of hatred. Yeah. They fell into a house. Into the house? On top of the house. Yeah, that's a level of hatred. Yeah. Yeah, I've never held that Into the house on top of the house Yeah Magic imagine like you like what what happened imagine two balloons like in your town, and that's going to draw attention like oh cool

What are you guys going to do? I'm gonna fucking fight. Yeah We're gonna settle some shit, and there's only one place we can do this in this fuckingberger basket. Yes, we're doing it. We're doing air French roller derby. So you know how long it probably took to get down the winners had to be like on a euphoric high, but that was probably gone by the time they got down. All right. What now? Glad we settled that. Let's go down there. Yeah. Yeah. So it was crazy. He hit the balloon, not the guy. He hit the balloon. And then it's debated like how true it was.

But like most people agree that it did happen in some fashion. But that's so good. Another duel. This one guy that George, dude, Villier, whatever the who gives a shit. He got challenged to a duel and ducked it and then got in a fight with someone else about the duel and then snatched his wig

And apparently oh he got put in prison for that Snatching the way for snatching their way. Yeah, yeah for snatching their way, which is something that still that's fine still I'm a man's disrespect. I see fights like that in Waffle House Yeah, I have a baseball player. Oh, well just a Tragic or funny career. It's more modern, 2002. Ron Wright. That's very, wow.

For the Mariners, he spent his entire career in the minor leagues with the exception of one major league game. So he played one game in the majors as a DH. He went 0 for three and is he struck out looking. He hit into a double play and hit into a triple. It is one game. Oh, no. Those are like the three consecutive worst case scenarios for a bad. So he strikes out looking as a DH and you're like damn this can't get much worse double play triple play

And then back to the miners three played appearances six outs Jesus Christ Did he even could you even consider that playing the three worst-case scenario? I mean he hit the ball and play I'm sure it was mostly luck or unlock does he have a card in circulation, but that is just No other chance to redeem himself. And then done. That's like a heart surgeon. What would it be like? A heart surgeon.

A heart surgeon slicing your aorta, sneezing on your organs with aid snot, and then just filming the whole thing without your permission. You survive the surgery and then he drops an anvil on you Wake up Then he was a designated hitter right there his only job Did he later have a tragic death or is this the tragic part you got into drugs?

Well, you know he's a pharmacist so yeah How sad he went down the path of drugs I hate it. Do you hear what happened to Ron? Drugs. He's doing really well. Really well, yeah. Yeah, he's really smart.

Being bad enough at baseball to become a pharmacist is a rare path. Push you out and say, I gotta do something else. Brandon. Why is his card $579? a pharmacist is a push you out and so I got to do something else um Brandon why is this card five hundred and seventy nine dollars it's out of five refractor yeah but is that that's is that the same wrong right I believe so all right sorry what's up you uh have more money than us no so, would you guys maybe us three? Like to pitch in I really want to buy a super expensive gift for somebody we hardly know You have this person in mind, or you just want to do like a feel-good like YouTube type deal or no no no something like a

Coworker we hardly talked to okay, okay like No, no, no something like a co-worker. We hardly talked to okay, okay? like The producer for changing the office Noah, okay, let's buy him a Tiffany serving platter And then I want to send it to him Let's let's buy Noah from chicks in the office and don't tell him like Balenciaga sneakers from Brandon Nick Like Balenciaga sneakers from Brandon Nick Should have the card say the car should just say thanks for being you just be like hey like we appreciate you Man you deserve this if you guys if you guys want

What range is a Tiffany's server I want I just I don't know Okay, so Noah Ives. Mm-hmm who probably gets so many perks. Yes, so many so so many perks his life is way better Than any of ours. Let's get him something Tiffany Can you go to like What sells Tiffany besides Tiffany? I think just Tiffany I? Think just if you want to get him like a man bracelet filter by wait. That's okay That's fourteen hundred dollars for the set of let's give him a five piece flatware setness He's not gonna appreciate the silver. I think he will man. What about one everybody uses silverware? Yeah, but what about one really nice fork look how much is one snow? I'm fine. That's $1,600 for a set

Should we do it? Yeah, let's get a nice cutlery Really nice that's six thousand There's the that's a nine thousand dollar tray Chippendale. That's a Chippendale oval, okay, so $1,600 if we if he got a $1,600 set from us he he would laugh it off, maybe tweet about it, but if we got him a $9,000 set. Do we do him a nine? I don't wanna do that, man. That would alter his entire life.

How? We would be in his subconscious at all times. At all times. It would be like, it would be torture. It would be about the same part of your mind if you see somebody die. It's like you always think about it every single day. Also, if he gets a $9,000

You will then be forced oh should we do his initials on it? Yeah Okay, we're gonna get no I we met this with somebody else Jesus Christ Can we at least do like 2,000 I don't want to go to the night. Yeah, we're not gonna do night that would ruin his life. That's what I'm saying Like would be passed down from generation he's mentally indebted to you forever in like And he can't like well He has a it's a tray Fucking tray. Yeah, he's talking like one to eat dinner, but like maybe he'll use it twice But it will always see it. What do you also want to do $2,000?

There's a tray any idea for making it like big like dauntingly big no, I think like an heirloom Like hey like this is something like you we want your kids to have heirloom like hey like this is something like you we want your kids to have so yeah so he can't like sell it no no yeah and we for Noah use only yeah sentimental pass down I would be just a big tray somehow more insidious than getting fights the gazebo oh yeah it's like the worst thing you can do to somebody a tray. That's a little bit wider than their cupboard Put it on the fridge $9,000 tray That I can't sell and then like everything the rare occurrences that were in New York will like see them and just be like

We won't bring it up No point at them Or we could play house that train treating you how much is it we saw it and we just had to get it for you We saw it. We're like Noah No, it would love this tray Yeah, if I was like a multi-million dollar millionaire like evil. I would just get a bunch of people very expensive trays Hundred-thousand dollar trick the tray doesn't improve in quality no a one dollar tray does the same thing a personalized

very big tray Only for their use and I don'll come in like the Tiffany blue box all right do the $2,000 one okay that's insane still yeah it's still insane all right out of the bag god about me What for the big trip one third for the big tray we were just talking about Yeah, no, what did you forget that we were talking about a big tray for Noah back out. We're not backing out Do you want to do it? I think we should do that 2000 Yeah I think we should do that 2000 Yeah What about the $1,000 tray is there a thousand dollar tray yeah, and it's just that's still expensive for a tray

Cookie sheet That's funny get him the cook $1500 cookie sheet. Yeah, am I obligated to make more cookies now? rectangular six by eight that's That's a tiny tray isn't that's a small tray. That's hardly a tray. That's barely a tray by eight inches Yeah, that is in six inches is nothing for a tray six inches is pretty fucking huge for a tray. Yeah Yeah, that's a really nice tray That six inches is pretty fucking huge for a tray. For a tray? Yeah. No! That's a six inches.

Yeah, that's a really nice tray. That is a really nice tray. Look at that. The AG-95. And it will come in that big box. We'll send it to the New York office. He's gonna love it. Please don't clip this.

I want it to be a surprise for him. Nobody clip this. I it to be a surprise for him. Yeah Nobody clip this I want to fuck to be ruin it I do like the idea of a remarkably rich person is giving his friends should we go around the office to get a tray fund? for Noah Collect money for no a tray for Noah. Yeah, like it's Does that is that not scream? Come on guys just for Noah. We'll do it once a year Yeah, we'll give a tray a year. It's a it's a Noah tray drive Get a betray every year

That's pure evil that's that damns you to hell It's like it ups his net worth significantly every year They're fucking Tiffany All right, we have to do it yeah, no I'm in all right fuck it. I'll do $1,500 tray What is that divided by three five now? I'll do it. No, but can I can I throw up a possible wrinkle here possible? Thing that might preclude us from doing this No, okay No, I don't think so. I would like to just throw up an idea. Okay?

No is the producer of what show chicks? Chicks are Fran and who Rhea Rhea's getting what this year? Married he's giving it to her for a wedding Ria's getting what this year married. He's giving it to her for a wedding. Oh Fuck right right no he can't know cuz we're engraving it. Okay, all right Graving say not for Ria I thought you were gonna say no trades For Ria's better, we doing this actually? yeah fine fuck it hahahaha

uh wait you have to call him for custom engraving? yeah alright let's just do his initials what's his middle name? that's still custom isn't it? i think the whole thing is try we can call him

initials, yes perfect, N oh boy do we guess his middle initial yeah we guess it's probably probably J J and J I and J I and J I that looks oh can you do this leave middle blank yeah can we just do it yep yeah let's go Yep. Yeah. Amazing. Let's go attack. I like. Oh, yeah, that's good. No periods. I don't think so. Looks like an element. Yeah. Next.

And then. Okay. Plus $60 shipping. I mean, okay. Whatever you guys can venom me. I'll put my card in. God damn it. Okay, plus $60 shipping? I mean, whatever. You guys can Venmo me, I'll put my card in. God damn it. Alright. Alright, thanks Brandon. Thanks for joining the episode.

Everybody, God bless you. Have a great one.